There's a word swap you can use to strengthen executive function skills AND approach yourself (and others) with less judgment. Try replacing "why" with "how" in some of your questions.
Example:
"Why did I wait until the last minute to start this project?"
"How do I decide when to start my project?"
"Why is it so hard for me to make decisions?"
"How do I make decisions?"
When we're frustrated, why questions can make us feel defensive. They ask us to justify our motives or reasoning. “How” questions shift us to a place of curiosity- how exactly is this thing getting done (or not getting done)?
Why asks for motivations, but how is a question that looks at our process. "How" helps us see the steps that lead us to an outcome and make changes. Then we can decide if there are different steps we want to take to change those outcomes!
There's a word swap you can use to strengthen executive function skills AND approach yourself (and others) with less judgment. Try replacing "why" with "how" in some of your questions.
Example:
"Why did I wait until the last minute to start this project?"
"How do I decide when to start my project?"
"Why is it so hard for me to make decisions?"
"How do I make decisions?"
When we're frustrated, why questions can make us feel defensive. They ask us to justify our motives or reasoning. “How” questions shift us to a place of curiosity- how exactly is this thing getting done (or not getting done)?
Why asks for motivations, but how is a question that looks at our process. "How" helps us see the steps that lead us to an outcome and make changes. Then we can decide if there are different steps we want to take to change those outcomes!