67. Falling in love part 2: Confidence, Boundaries, and Self-Love: Essential Lessons for Healthy Relationships

How can an individual confront and address toxic behavior in their relationships while maintaining self-love and personal growth?

In Episode "Falling in love part 2: Confidence, Boundaries, and Self-Love: Essential Lessons for Healthy Relationships" of Dennis Rox, Mike and Eldar dive deep into the importance of self-love and the power of confronting toxic behaviors in relationships. Joined by guests Phillip and Anatoliy, the hosts explore pivotal questions about personal growth, self-awareness, and the impact of bad habits on one's mindset. Phillip shares his journey of overcoming toxic behaviors and cultivating self-confidence to stand up for himself, revealing how it transformed his relationships and personal life. The discussion also delves into the psychological burden of people-pleasing, emphasizing the value of self-respect and aligning one's beliefs with actions.

The conversation ventures into the complex terrain of love and relationships, highlighting the importance of being genuine and true to oneself. With stories and anecdotes, the guests and hosts emphasize understanding one's flaws, setting boundaries, and spreading love not just romantically, but to oneself and others. The episode also touches on the challenges of societal pressures, the necessity of being open to personal growth, and the importance of vulnerability in intimate settings. By the end, listeners are encouraged to cultivate an internal belief system, harness positive energy, and navigate relationships with confidence and authenticity.

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Transcript

Eldar [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode, what are you slowing down? And usually what you need to slow down is actually your mind.

Mike [00:00:05]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:00:06]:
Your mind that's actually constantly running and trying to tell you, like, you got to do this, you got to do that, you got to do this. And all the things that don't fall into what? Self love.

Mike [00:00:14]:
But it's a lot of many, many years of bad habits that are automatic and recognizing them and then slowly trying to combat them.

Eldar [00:00:21]:
If love is the greatest good or the greatest truth or God in this life, and when we feel it in the presence of it and we enjoy it, it feels so good, we have to be worthy of it.

Phillip [00:00:32]:
Who am I? Like, do I even, like, know who I am? Like, what? Like, what do I like about myself? These people are not even asking these questions at all their whole life. And so I'm like, damn. I have the ability to think about myself, who I am. And now I'm so grateful for all the good stuff that I have, and I'm even grateful for the bad stuff because it got me here. And now I just move on. And now I want to attract people who are like minded to myself because now I want to grow with this foundation. I don't want people to motivate me by pain anymore.

Eldar [00:01:02]:
People that are working around nowadays are just. They look like gremlins, bro. And I'm talking about the people that are altering their fucking physical appearances and shit. You know what I mean? Like, for under the knife, just for acceptance.

Phillip [00:01:13]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:01:14]:
Just to be able to, like, let the society tell them that they're okay to be in society alive. Like what? Mike, you want me to introduce the topic or. Sure, I guess. This topic is a part two series of our 1st. 1st series about love, falling in love and how to stay in love. Right. And we discussed a couple of things on how to fall in love. Right.

Eldar [00:01:47]:
How to maybe prepare yourself, right? To fall in love. Yes. And some of the things that we talked about, Philip, since you weren't there, I'm not sure if you listened, but. Mike, can you read?

Mike [00:01:56]:
Yeah, sure.

Eldar [00:01:57]:
Number one.

Mike [00:01:58]:
So number one is don't be a people pleaser.

Eldar [00:02:01]:
Don't be a piss pig.

Mike [00:02:02]:
Don't be a piss pig. No confidence.

Eldar [00:02:06]:
What the hell did you. Sorry. Yeah, people, please, with no confidence, this.

Mike [00:02:14]:
Person cannot be happy. Yeah, yeah, people, please, there no confidence, this person cannot be happy on their own.

Phillip [00:02:22]:
You're saying they're relying on an outside opinion.

Mike [00:02:24]:
Cool.

Eldar [00:02:24]:
Yeah, rely on an outside opinion, but.

Mike [00:02:26]:
Happiness for their own happiness.

Eldar [00:02:28]:
But also would probably this part. This type of individual probably rely also on relationship in order to stay kind of flow. Yes.

Phillip [00:02:34]:
And anything outside of themselves, nothing to do with their own growth, their own mindset.

Eldar [00:02:38]:
That's right. Yeah, that's right. So if you have that quality. Right. We're kind of disqualifying you for falling in love right away. Yeah. You probably can get into a relationship, obviously, but most likely you're not going to be able to sustain it for a long period of time and it's probably going to crumble because at the end of the day you're a vampire to put it in like, you know.

Phillip [00:02:57]:
Your consumer and then you're just sucking on other people.

Eldar [00:02:59]:
Correct. And in your relationship you probably will be the same. Right. Because you don't have the ability pretty much to be self sustainable and to be able to draw some kind of good energy, some kind of happiness for yourself. All right. So you're most likely going to become a five stage clinger. That's going to be, you know, just, you know. Well, yeah.

Mike [00:03:18]:
People pleaser is a person who probably doesn't think about saying what the right, you know, doing the right thing by themselves. They just want to like, you know, fit in, I guess, and say whatever to please people, to make people happy, to not like, you know, attract attention, not to stand out, but to ultimately.

Eldar [00:03:37]:
Get what they want. Right. They say the things that they do and they say that. They say the things that they say and do is because they ultimately want to control the situation, get the outcome for themselves.

Mike [00:03:48]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:03:49]:
Right.

Mike [00:03:49]:
So a little bit of a control freak.

Eldar [00:03:51]:
Oh, yeah.

Mike [00:03:52]:
Or maybe a lot of it.

Eldar [00:03:53]:
A lot of it. I think a person who's into people pleasing for sure they're a control freak.

Mike [00:03:58]:
They don't, they really occupy with what.

Eldar [00:04:00]:
People think about them.

Phillip [00:04:01]:
So I think the scariest thing with that is I definitely had that and definitely a lot worse when I was younger. And I think being a people pleaser is scary when you have so many different people, whether it's professional or personal, and each individual interaction becomes a whole new personality that you have to take on. And then once you go to another person, you become a whole different person. Because when you people please, I'm coming to you and I'm trying to impress you and just get a reaction out of you. I'm not even saying what I really believe because I don't even know who I am. So I'm just being all these different things and I think there's different diagnosis and I think multiple personality disorder is one of them. But I think at a very big scale, there's movies on it. I think one of them, the guy who had multiple personalities, was a scary take on it.

Phillip [00:04:47]:
But I look at that, and I think I even read a book on something similar, and some of the thoughts resonated with me, and I was like, wow. Like, that type of mental illness and that road that you could go down, just imagine about just your individual family. Brothers, sisters, cousins. Then, like, people that you meet throughout the years, friends or maybe strangers, work. People. Think about how many different people and how thin you stretch yourself and how big of a rabbit hole you can go down. If you're truly a people pleaser.

Eldar [00:05:15]:
Phil, as you're speaking.

Phillip [00:05:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:05:17]:
I'm going to give you a throwback from three years ago. You gonna. Hopefully, you remember this one.

Phillip [00:05:23]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:05:24]:
Based on what you just said, especially when you said, I used to do this.

Phillip [00:05:27]:
Oh, yeah, I definitely did.

Eldar [00:05:28]:
I'm gonna say, that explains everything.

Phillip [00:05:30]:
Yeah. Okay.

Eldar [00:05:33]:
This is your quote. You guys remember? That's his quote. Remember? Like we said, something goes, oh, that explains everything. You know?

Phillip [00:05:39]:
Oh, that was mine.

Eldar [00:05:40]:
That was your quote?

Phillip [00:05:41]:
That explains everything that I don't remember.

Eldar [00:05:44]:
You don't remember this?

Phillip [00:05:44]:
No.

Eldar [00:05:45]:
That's three years ago.

Phillip [00:05:46]:
I don't remember that specific quote.

Eldar [00:05:47]:
No. Wait. Oh, that changes everything that I remember.

Mike [00:05:51]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:05:52]:
No, but I don't think that was from Philip.

Eldar [00:05:53]:
It wasn't for Philip.

Phillip [00:05:55]:
That changes everything I remember. I don't know if I know Philip.

Eldar [00:06:00]:
He said yet. He said, like, we give him some piece of information, he's like, oh, well, that changes everything.

Phillip [00:06:04]:
You know, saying that. No, yeah.

Eldar [00:06:07]:
You see yourself saying that.

Phillip [00:06:08]:
I can see myself saying that, yeah. But, yeah, it's.

Eldar [00:06:10]:
Good point. I didn't know why. That's very interesting that you say that. They're like, hey, if you're a people pleaser, you have to pretty much adjust to every individual's personality almost.

Phillip [00:06:18]:
It's scary because it's wild. The psychological component of that is it's not even like you're smart enough for that. I don't think many people are even built to have the capacity to do that. You're supposed to be who you are in your own skin. So the penalty of not being yourself and not being genuine is having to do all this stuff and to be all these different types of people, and you never get to experience who you are. These people go home, and they don't even know what they're doing. And these people are easily influenced by these people who are showing them, you know, fast food showing them drugs and showing them all this other stuff, and they're like, oh, gimme, gimme, gimme. And they don't know how to think for themselves.

Eldar [00:06:56]:
That's right.

Phillip [00:06:56]:
Most people are like this.

Eldar [00:06:58]:
Yeah. So you would agree with our prerequisite that before you get into a relationship, right. If you're a people pleaser out there, right. There's no way that this is probably gonna work out 100%.

Phillip [00:07:09]:
No chance. And being in relationships while having that type of mindset, I ran into all those problems.

Mike [00:07:15]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:07:15]:
Okay. So would you say that if you were people pleaser, you should not be allowed to date?

Phillip [00:07:20]:
It should be illegal.

Eldar [00:07:22]:
I like it, I like it, I love it. Yeah. It should be illegal for you. If you're a people person, a pleaser, you should not be dating, and your.

Phillip [00:07:30]:
Friend should hold you accountable. Like, you get a card and all your friends have to agree. Signals the majority vote, and they say, here's your card. You're out of the people pleasing stage. Stage. Now you're on the next stage.

Eldar [00:07:41]:
Good.

Mike [00:07:42]:
What if all your friends and people pleasers and they all say, yeah, you do it great.

Eldar [00:07:46]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:07:47]:
They just want to please you, then you're done.

Eldar [00:07:49]:
Then you're goner. Then you're goner.

Phillip [00:07:51]:
Then it's over.

Eldar [00:07:52]:
Yeah. So this is a big one, right? Because at the end of the day, if you can be yourself, like you said, right. And you can present your. Your authentic self, even if it's a rat, you know what I mean? You're being yourself, at least. You know what I mean? And you don't have to juggle a thousand personalities like you said, right, in order to get what you want. All right? Then you're already on a good path to knowing yourself of who you are and what you stand behind, all right? You have to stand on your own feet and be okay with it. And I think that's what you need to be able to bring into the relationship 100%. Yeah.

Eldar [00:08:25]:
Next.

Mike [00:08:27]:
Next. Like yourself.

Eldar [00:08:31]:
Yeah, correct.

Mike [00:08:32]:
Charge.

Eldar [00:08:33]:
Charge your battery.

Mike [00:08:36]:
Charge your battery.

Eldar [00:08:37]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:08:39]:
Show to steer the ship. How to steer the ship.

Eldar [00:08:41]:
Yeah, that's next. That's next. Okay. Yeah. So, like yourself, right? So when. When you're not a people pleaser anymore, you hope to be obviously not a grumpy old man, right. Where you're not happy, right. If you want to be in a relationship, right.

Eldar [00:08:56]:
There has to be a component of wanting to like what you actually have to offer about yourself, about your personality, about your quirks, your sense of humor, your personality, right. Why is that? Because obviously, you're trying to attract that the other half. Right. Someone was also going to be fucking with that kind of energy. Right. If you never want to be or, listen, we don't. We don't have to even go through here. If you never want to be with anybody.

Eldar [00:09:21]:
Right. If you want to be single for us every life, you don't have to work on that. But if you do, we're talking about things that you know will benefit you and your relationship. I think this is one of those other big ones that you have to be able to like yourself. Right. That energy that you carry has to be good energy. Oh, yeah, right. That's.

Eldar [00:09:40]:
That's a big one.

Mike [00:09:41]:
Because the other person will probably gravitate towards such a. It's such a, like a uncommon thing.

Eldar [00:09:47]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:09:47]:
You know?

Eldar [00:09:48]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:09:49]:
Especially if you combine the first part, which, you know, you standing on your own kind of ground, you like what you. What you got and you fucking reference what the hell is written there.

Eldar [00:09:59]:
Sorry, bro. You also bad markers, bro.

Mike [00:10:02]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess when you have things that you have things that are actually solid.

Eldar [00:10:09]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:10:09]:
That you like about yourself, you have a good thing to stand on. That's. Then it's like, in a way, I would say it radiates that your energy, because you just. Yeah, you're kind of always in a good mood.

Eldar [00:10:18]:
Correct, correct.

Phillip [00:10:19]:
So I think a lot of it comes from where. Where you're getting it from. So when it's coming from, like, within, we're talking about, like, news media outlets and where people get their information. A lot of people get their confidence from other people giving them information. Maybe misinformation, whether it's about preventative botox, about, like, shoes and this, about buy this. Yeah, anything, whatever it is. So I think for liking yourself, I think it's gonna be determined from where it's coming from. Is it coming from you exercising, you.

Mike [00:10:50]:
Eating well, trying to go in there with a scalpel right now.

Phillip [00:10:53]:
Yeah. Like, you interacting with certain people. So, like, when I hear, like. Like yourself, I'm just hearing, like, where are you getting your, like, basically sense of self and your foundation and, like, how far outside of it of yourself is? Is it. Or is it coming from, like, within? Like, are you doing it on a day to day basis?

Mike [00:11:10]:
I think that's, like, that's good. I think that's more toward the last.

Eldar [00:11:15]:
No, no, I think. I think what he's saying is very important.

Phillip [00:11:18]:
Like, where. Where you like yourself from.

Eldar [00:11:21]:
Yeah, we need to expand that, right?

Mike [00:11:22]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:11:23]:
And I think the liking yourself, obviously, if you're liking yourself, like he said, like, because I have big boobs or whatever. Whatever fucking superficial stuff, right? I'm not talking about big muscles, big boobs, big ass, and all this other stuff, right. Because those are all natural things that you can be born with. Obviously, you can change those things again, but you probably a people pleaser if you are changing them in the first place, right? Um, I would say truth.

Phillip [00:11:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:11:49]:
Right. Genuine, genuine stuff that's actually, um, you, you can stand behind, like, values. Good values, good morals, right? You know, other good relationships that you have in your life that you can really stand on. Right? What does your life have to show?

Mike [00:12:03]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:12:04]:
Right. At the end of the day, like you said, a lot of the times when you people go date and stuff like that, right, they put their best foot forward, but you don't know how they're talking to their moms, their dads, their siblings and stuff like that. So you really don't know who you're getting in that moment. So. Yeah. Part of I think liking yourself is embedded in actual truths, like your relationships, you know, that can show that you know something. Yeah.

Phillip [00:12:28]:
It's real.

Eldar [00:12:28]:
Are you happy?

Phillip [00:12:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:12:30]:
Right. And not just happy when, you know.

Mike [00:12:33]:
Got a new person.

Eldar [00:12:34]:
You got a new person, your social media flaunting.

Mike [00:12:36]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:12:36]:
Right.

Phillip [00:12:37]:
And I think that kind of, like, when I see those people, I think of like, an arrogance where they say that they like themselves and it's not true. That's like, it's a false sense of liking, and they're liking the things, the things about themselves that whether they can buy, it's fleeting. It's like, it can be there, it cannot be there. Money can buy it. It's a resource. We're talking about the value driven things that are inside. So when I'm saying where you're getting it from, I'm saying, are you controlling it on a day to day basis? Is it coming from inside of you and emanating out? Is it radiating where other people feel it? And is it coming from you?

Eldar [00:13:11]:
How about this measure? How about this measure? If the thing that you are flaunting is limited, yes. You're probably on the wrong side of things. If it's unlimited. The things that he's talking about.

Mike [00:13:24]:
Right.

Eldar [00:13:25]:
The value systems. Right. That's unlimited.

Phillip [00:13:28]:
Right.

Eldar [00:13:28]:
If you stand behind those, that's unlimited.

Phillip [00:13:30]:
That's exactly what I'm saying.

Eldar [00:13:31]:
Right. So that could be your measure of, like, what, what kind of things do you actually have to stand on?

Phillip [00:13:37]:
Yeah, it's a great way to measure it. Yeah, I agree. Your spirit things that are inside of you.

Eldar [00:13:42]:
Correct that, correct. Yeah. Where you. Where you getting that energy from? Correct. If it's a place where it's forever, I mean, those things are forever. I think eternal truth is eternal. Right?

Mike [00:13:52]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:13:53]:
It doesn't have a limit. I think we can definitely get into that, but, yeah. And the big thing you mentioned also, like, how you resonating that whole thing, how are you illuminating yourself with it constantly. Right. Because ultimately that's what you're going to need in order to attract someone. Right. I guess you can ask yourself in a relationship sphere, how viral are you to use that term? Or how infectious is your energy in order to. For somebody else to buy in into that which you're doing? And that's where it comes back to, I think the personal happiness, like, is your personal happiness there.

Eldar [00:14:32]:
Is it true? Right. And how infectious is it really? Right.

Mike [00:14:41]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:14:42]:
And I think the last one. Well, no, yeah, no, but it's the same stuff. We just have to expand on it.

Mike [00:14:47]:
Right.

Eldar [00:14:48]:
But the last one is important one. What does it say there?

Mike [00:14:50]:
How to steer.

Eldar [00:14:51]:
Okay. How to steer. Right. Okay. You have that. Yeah. What's your plan? Right. And how.

Eldar [00:14:57]:
How can you actually then. Right. Not only be independent, be happy with it, but also steer somebody towards that, because ultimately I think that, you know, call it brainwash or call it influence. You have to influence somebody right. Onto your mission, because that's your mission. Right. Those first two things that you did is your mission. Right.

Eldar [00:15:19]:
To take care of yourself, be good on your own. Right. To know who you are, stand behind it, then like yourself, be confident in that which you are genuinely. Right. You can unpack that whether or not you're not, if you're standing behind some whatever. And number three, can you actually put somebody else on it? Are you a good enough salesman? Can you go viral with it personally is what I'm saying. Not socially, obviously, but can you go viral enough for the other individual to be able, like, holy shit, this guy actually knows something. This guy actually has something.

Mike [00:15:59]:
Yeah. Yeah. Those are. Those are good points. We talked on those last time.

Eldar [00:16:07]:
We didn't expect on the last one. And how to actually become viral for yourself. Right. So viral that. That energy infects the other individual. Like I said, I use the term magnets.

Mike [00:16:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:16:18]:
It magnetized the other individual. Like, yo, he has something. She has something. Right.

Mike [00:16:22]:
Yeah, that.

Eldar [00:16:23]:
I want that.

Mike [00:16:24]:
Well, I think we kind of talked about this. Unless we touched it, we didn't go too much into it, but it's. I think it comes back to self love, and I think if we really dive into what that means. Okay, if you have that, I think that will, like. That's like, guaranteed, like, radiation of that, what you're talking about, you know, because what that word is love and the word self, those are very powerful words, you know?

Eldar [00:16:50]:
Okay.

Mike [00:16:51]:
If you. If we. You know, if we're gonna have a common understanding of what they are.

Eldar [00:16:57]:
So you have to tell me a little more how you see the selflove thing that you're talking about that the other person will see and they gonna like, oh, shit, I want that, too.

Mike [00:17:03]:
Yeah. I think that it's probably very rare, you know, like, to have self love and fully have it. You know? I think it's very rare because it's. It's a really complicated thing, the way I'm understanding it to myself.

Eldar [00:17:16]:
Okay, so are you understanding it?

Mike [00:17:19]:
The way I understand it is just very much rooted in all the things we're talking with. Things you mentioned about virtues, morals, ethics. Right. And kind of that being the base of your life. Right. So a lot of times we concentrate on, like, hey, where do I want to work? What do I want to eat? Where do I want to work out? I don't know. Like, a bunch of things that I want. I don't want to see them meaningless.

Mike [00:17:41]:
But there's. I think there's things like a base, a foundation that is more meaningful, that needs to be developed so then you can answer the questions that are a little bit less complicated. Right. And then you could build a life on that. And I think the self love is building a foundation of a good life.

Eldar [00:17:57]:
Give me examples.

Mike [00:17:59]:
Do. Having relationship. Parents. Having relationship with yourself. Right. Being honest to yourself, being kind, compassionate to yourself.

Eldar [00:18:05]:
Right. Give me examples of being compassionate to yourself.

Mike [00:18:10]:
Well, when you feel tired, don't force yourself to go to the gym. And don't beat yourself up about going to the gym. If you made a commitment in your head, you know.

Eldar [00:18:18]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:18:19]:
About it, you know, affirmations.

Eldar [00:18:22]:
Definitely a big one.

Phillip [00:18:23]:
Just, like, talking nice, like, good self talk. Like something like that.

Eldar [00:18:27]:
Okay, Neil.

Mike [00:18:29]:
Yeah. All right. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's. That's one of the things. Being honest.

Eldar [00:18:37]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:18:38]:
Believing in these things.

Eldar [00:18:39]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:18:40]:
That make up all the virtues, all the.

Eldar [00:18:42]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:18:43]:
Ethics, morals.

Eldar [00:18:44]:
Right, yeah.

Mike [00:18:45]:
Living. Living in accordance with that.

Eldar [00:18:47]:
Yeah. See, I think. I think it's probably you. You said that it's a little bit more complicated, maybe, but I think that it's simpler than we think. Right. And I think it lies in. In the fact that in the first step where knowing yourself, being yourself. Right.

Eldar [00:19:08]:
And not being a people pleaser. Now, if you say to me, Eldar, I value honesty, right? I'm like, okay, cool. You value honesty. I think the self love comes in when you practice it.

Mike [00:19:19]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:19:20]:
Okay. So if we go into a situation, and you told me prior to the situation, you're like, hey, I value honesty. Right. And then something comes up, right? I don't know, a girl comes up or whatever, and, you know, she asks you for something, and then you being dishonest.

Mike [00:19:33]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:19:34]:
For some whatever reason. Right? Yeah. You're not being honest. Right. With yourself. So I think it's. It's one of those things where it's like, as long as you bridge that which you believe with external. Your external self or who you put out into the world, I think that is the self love.

Mike [00:19:52]:
Well, I think that is the same thing I'm saying is the base, the foundation of. That's, like, kind of guiding your life.

Eldar [00:19:58]:
Okay.

Mike [00:19:59]:
You know?

Eldar [00:19:59]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:19:59]:
I think we're talking about the same thing. We're just saying it differently.

Eldar [00:20:02]:
Okay. Yeah. I just. I just don't think that it's as complicated as maybe I heard it from you.

Mike [00:20:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:20:06]:
I think it's a lot more simpler. Right. I think it's like I said, if you voice something, you say, hey, I believe in this. You have to actually be behind it. Like, the actions behind your beliefs have to match. And when they do match, you are one whole person. There's no hiding. There's no multiple personalities.

Eldar [00:20:28]:
There's no people pleasing. There's no nothing. Yeah, there's that. What you get based on who you are internally, what you thinking. So there's no there. I don't think there's affirmations even are needed here.

Mike [00:20:37]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:20:38]:
You understand? You don't have to keep reminding yourself.

Mike [00:20:40]:
I don't want to, like, upset Phil. It's only a second podcast.

Eldar [00:20:42]:
Okay, cool. Yeah, we'll take it easy on him. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I'll be honest. That routine that you're doing in the morning in front of the mirror, the 25 minutes routine with 18,000.

Phillip [00:20:51]:
I remember Mike said after, he's like, where my mind honestly goes is like doing something like a bath, going for a walk, eating healthy food, exercise, not.

Eldar [00:20:59]:
Just talking to yourself and telling yourself that you're a good person.

Phillip [00:21:01]:
No, those other things, to me are how I would say I would love myself or at least showing myself.

Eldar [00:21:08]:
Cool. Yeah. For me, I just think that the bridge between having congruent thoughts, thinking and talking to congruent having the right actions behind. Yeah.

Phillip [00:21:18]:
There's no separation.

Eldar [00:21:19]:
Well, that's what I'm saying, that a lot of times.

Mike [00:21:21]:
What if the thoughts are flawed? They're like not rooted.

Eldar [00:21:24]:
Well, there you go. I think that's when you still didn't. Didn't finish the first. The first step.

Phillip [00:21:29]:
Yeah. That's the disconnect though. That's probably why it's more difficult.

Eldar [00:21:31]:
Correct, correct. If you have the disconnect on the first step, right. Where you really don't know yourself and you're not bridging those two gaps, you have an internal conflict. And internal conflict will always lead you to on a deficit which when you go into real situations, you will not be able to beat yourself because there's no self to be. You understand? Who are you being? One guy said, I'm honest. The other guy is doing this on a shit. How you know what I'm saying?

Mike [00:21:56]:
I see what you're saying, but then number one is a really big one.

Eldar [00:21:59]:
Oh, it's you. I think all of them are very big.

Mike [00:22:01]:
They're all very big. But the number one is like the.

Eldar [00:22:04]:
It's a serious base, 100%, you know, 100%.

Mike [00:22:07]:
And it's also a lot of it is very tricky. You maybe think you're doing something good for yourself.

Eldar [00:22:12]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:22:13]:
But you haven't understood it completely.

Eldar [00:22:15]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:22:15]:
You might be under impression that you're not a people pleaser, you know?

Eldar [00:22:18]:
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what are we trying to debunk here? We're trying to debunk the fact that falling in love is actually easy here. But first, the fall in love part has like 90% of it has to be falling in love with yourself. Yeah, but in order to fall in love with yourself, you have to actually like yourself. And do you? Yeah, is the question.

Mike [00:22:34]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:22:34]:
Do you, how do you.

Mike [00:22:36]:
What's the criteria to say that you like yourself? Because you have nice clothes, you have a nice body.

Eldar [00:22:40]:
No, it's a feeling, but you could.

Mike [00:22:42]:
People say that I like myself, I look good physically, right?

Eldar [00:22:45]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:22:45]:
I have nice things, I have a nice car.

Phillip [00:22:47]:
Those are those fleeting things that we said. Don't agree with the base. Those are things that don't.

Eldar [00:22:51]:
But.

Phillip [00:22:51]:
Yeah, exactly. So of those are the things that.

Mike [00:22:53]:
A lot of people, they get, you know, like our mind is also can be deceiving where people think, yeah, I got my shit figured out. I'm happy with my life. Right.

Eldar [00:23:02]:
Well, we're not talking about those people that are not trying to examine it, because we're here in the room trying to examine it. Let's not use those examples. Let's use our examples at least.

Mike [00:23:09]:
Okay?

Phillip [00:23:10]:
Yeah. I think those are the people that we're saying are coming off maybe more arrogant, saying they like themselves, but they don't. And all the things that we said are those fleeting things. Whether they have a car, they think they have a good. They have a good job. They think they have a good relationship, and everything's very, very superficial. Most of those people don't actually like themselves. So I think those type of people can have a really tough time thinking.

Phillip [00:23:32]:
Thinking to themselves, all right, do I really like myself? They might think that they do, but they really don't. Maybe they don't have a good group of friends telling them, hey, listen, you actually don't like yourself. They don't even know where to look.

Eldar [00:23:44]:
They're very, very lost.

Phillip [00:23:45]:
Most of those people are very, very lost. They don't have a good sense of. Sense of self. And it's probably going to be very, very difficult. So where you're saying it's difficult, Eldar saying it's easy because he's coming from a different place of understanding himself, loving himself, and then, you know, being able to connect with another person that sees his light, he sees theirs, and it's. It's more about being congruent and then just staying in that. That world. Right.

Eldar [00:24:12]:
That's right. That's right. I think that what you're saying. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. Yeah. And that, I think, just comes with paying attention to yourself. Like you said in the thing where you said, hey, I want to go to. You told yourself in the morning that you want to go to the gym, but you didn't expect that elder was gonna ask you to carry 20 boxes today up and down the stairs.

Mike [00:24:32]:
That's right.

Eldar [00:24:32]:
Right. You want to do legs today in the morning. You set that out.

Mike [00:24:35]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:24:36]:
Right. So now your mind is like, hey, like, what's up now? We gonna gym or not?

Mike [00:24:40]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:24:40]:
Right.

Eldar [00:24:40]:
And you're like, oh, man, I really wanted to go to gym today. You're still talking to yourself on morning, in the morning, right? Not considering the variable that I asked you to do legs already. You already did legs. So being good to yourself is actually paying attention to yourself and saying, you know what? I actually did something already, you know, and I'm okay today. I'm not gonna do legs if I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go do arms. Right, right. Or pivot at all. Pivot completely and say, you know what? I'm just gonna go do a spot session.

Eldar [00:25:05]:
Right. So I think paying attention to yourself is that component that's gonna be able to give you that. The bridge between what you're saying, what you're thinking, and then what you actually do. So if you went. If you went and did you did your legs for the second time, you an idiot, right.

Mike [00:25:23]:
You know I did.

Eldar [00:25:24]:
No, I'm. Yeah, no, for sure. But I'm saying, like, that's the thing that we're talking about, right. Because what you're doing now, you're pushing yourself, right. Because you're not liking a small part about yourself, and that part is commitment in the morning and not doing it at night.

Mike [00:25:40]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:25:41]:
You know what I mean? But it's because you weren't smart enough to consider that. Look, I actually was doing legs just now with Eldar by lifting all these boxes. Yeah. Right. So I think that's. That's a very big key here.

Mike [00:25:54]:
That.

Eldar [00:25:54]:
If you can solve it, if people can actually bridge that gap, I think they'll start paying attention to themselves a lot more. Understand where's the pain, where it's coming from, and then slowly change the trajectory of how. How they perceive pain, and they actually become more sensitive afterwards.

Mike [00:26:09]:
So.

Eldar [00:26:09]:
To it.

Mike [00:26:10]:
So do you think it's like to say it in the same thing but in different words? Is it slowing down enough to become more aware again?

Eldar [00:26:18]:
You know, the buzz words of slowing down and shit?

Mike [00:26:20]:
Yeah. You don't fuck with those?

Eldar [00:26:22]:
No, I do fuck with them. You know what I mean? That's. That's the, like, layman terms are just saying, yes, slow down tomorrow, but nobody's gonna want to know.

Mike [00:26:28]:
What does that mean?

Eldar [00:26:29]:
What does that mean? Slow down? Like, what does that mean?

Phillip [00:26:31]:
Well, we're talking about. We were talking about different definitions of slowing down, too. Like, mine might be, like, literally laying down, doing nothing and meditating, and his might be actually walking and thinking and being in motion. So, like, when you're saying, like, slow slowing down, like, it's different to different people. Like, when I see you, like, I think that you'd probably be somebody who would be walking, who would be going and, like, maybe getting the motor running and doing that. And that could be actually relaxing for you.

Eldar [00:26:55]:
Socializing about a specific topic can be that slowing down.

Mike [00:26:58]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:26:59]:
You know what I'm saying? And what are you slowing down? And usually you need. What you need to slow down is actually the. Your mind. Yeah, yeah, your mind. That's actually constantly running and trying to tell you, like, you got to do this, you got to do that, you got to do. And all the things that don't fall into what? Self love. You know what I'm saying?

Mike [00:27:16]:
I understand. Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:27:18]:
I'm trying to, like, that's how I see it. Like, if you can bridge the gap between your thoughts, what you actually believe, especially. Right. And then your actions, you will quickly find out that you start liking yourself a lot more and you start having self respect. Right. So when external factors and variables that are gonna come in the girls, right, and they're going to try to violate those belief systems, you will quickly know how to handle yourself. It'll come naturally to you, and you'll be extremely sensitive to know that this doesn't feel right. This doesn't feel right.

Eldar [00:27:50]:
And then you can engage in your number three, probably. Right, the three. The number three where you have characteristics about yourself or who you are. That's why you're going to be able to very easily talk about them, right. And be able to dispute the nonsense that does being, you know, kind of forced down your throat by somebody else who doesn't know you, who doesn't know self love.

Phillip [00:28:13]:
And I think of you, if you're somebody who struggles with having a moral compass, I think, well, no, but I.

Eldar [00:28:21]:
Think, look at me. See what I got me?

Phillip [00:28:23]:
Yeah. I think if you don't have a moral compass, if you're somebody who's even semi realistic with yourself at some level, you can say, okay, let me look at the results of what I'm getting back. Meaning for every interaction that I have, say it's a relationship. Like, where am I ending up and what mistakes do I have? So, like, what results am I getting? So if I'm in a right or wrong situation, meaning, like Mike saying, maybe like some of your thoughts, like, which ones do you trust? Which ones do you not? Some people who struggle with that type of thing and, like, have a moral dilemma of, is this right? Is this wrong? At the end of the day, okay, I went out with this girl. I dated her or had this relationship, or I had this outcome at work. Where do I usually end up? Usually you end up in the same spot. Just maybe it looks a little different, but at the end of the day, you usually, either by yourself, usually end up in a situation where you're unhappy, you don't like who you are, and, like, it's just really a feeling of unhappiness. So that's how I usually kind of measured it when I couldn't really figure that out.

Phillip [00:29:19]:
And I still do that sometimes. But I think if you're more of an analytical or logical person versus emotional or morally sound person, I think you can look at the results versus just relying on having problems. Moral compass.

Eldar [00:29:31]:
Yeah, for sure. And ultimately, you want to get to a point where your results are the actual things that you want. Right?

Phillip [00:29:36]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:29:36]:
Because you have control over it more.

Phillip [00:29:37]:
But that's being in line with yourself and having numbers one and two taken care of.

Eldar [00:29:41]:
Correct? Correct. So you don't have to pick up the pieces at the back end and be upset with yourself, because ultimately it's not what you want to be. You want to always kind of be in line with yourself and know, like, okay, cool. If this didn't work out, I didn't go far enough to be, you know, lay in bed with her naked. You know what I'm saying? We have a story about. It's a reference. We have a story when Mike climbed into a girl's girl's bed completely naked, and he was used.

Mike [00:30:06]:
It happened twice. Two different girls.

Eldar [00:30:11]:
But she wanted to drink tea and watch a movie, and Mike had other agendas.

Phillip [00:30:15]:
That sounds excellent.

Eldar [00:30:17]:
That sounds excellent.

Phillip [00:30:19]:
What movie was it?

Mike [00:30:20]:
Kind of.

Phillip [00:30:20]:
What movie was it?

Eldar [00:30:23]:
This was six months ago, and it wasn't a movie.

Phillip [00:30:27]:
Definitely not.

Eldar [00:30:29]:
Yeah. So, yeah, 90% of the work is here right now.

Mike [00:30:34]:
Absolutely.

Eldar [00:30:35]:
By yourself. Yeah. Right. I think that other part is challenging part. But if you get the first two right. Right. You're standing on some firm ground.

Mike [00:30:49]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:30:49]:
You won't be moved as easily.

Mike [00:30:51]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:30:51]:
You know, because the challenges will come. Right. Number three is. Is the important one, because when you finally unite.

Mike [00:31:01]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:31:01]:
You presented yourself, you liked yourself. While you presented yourself, you bounced yourself off the other person. The other person is lit up. They're like, holy shit, who the fuck I meet? And, I mean, I really like this. I want to continue seeing him. I want to continue hearing what he's got to say because you know your shit.

Mike [00:31:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:31:18]:
You know yourself.

Phillip [00:31:19]:
So I got a question. So, like, somebody who's in that. In that. That state. Right. Do you think about, um, like, consistency? Like, is that something. I know that's obviously important, but, like, on a day to day basis. Well, like, when you're in that state and you're, like, emanating that kind of light and you're attracting that person.

Phillip [00:31:34]:
Right. This consistency almost kind of, like, go back to that, like, discipline example where, like, if you have to think about doing it on a day to day basis, like, you kind of force yourself, that round.

Eldar [00:31:44]:
You're coming here to the office. The last two weeks, have you been forcing yourself? No.

Phillip [00:31:47]:
No, I haven't.

Eldar [00:31:48]:
Naturally.

Phillip [00:31:48]:
That's why I'm asking. It's very, very natural.

Eldar [00:31:50]:
Why?

Phillip [00:31:50]:
So I'm saying if I'm thinking about consistency, it's probably forced.

Eldar [00:31:53]:
That's right.

Phillip [00:31:54]:
And it's probably something that it's out. Not an enjoyable experience for me. Right?

Eldar [00:31:59]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:31:59]:
Is that what we're saying?

Eldar [00:32:00]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:32:00]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:32:01]:
Why is that? Why wouldn't it be? Because you can't be yourself. Yes. You come here for the last two weeks, you enjoyed yourself very much. Why? You being a total nutrition, you being accepted. You're being understood. Right. And you like what you're getting back and forth very much. That type of experience.

Eldar [00:32:18]:
That type of experience supposed to be the same way and it's supposed to be effortless. If it's. If it requires, again, discipline or that consistency that you're talking about, you're wrong.

Phillip [00:32:29]:
All the past foundations that I had in place that were deemed successful, like.

Eldar [00:32:33]:
Successful, unquote, all that stuff that fucking whoever, fucking Kevin Samuels, all fucking knuckleheads told you to do with all time, they didn't understand anything.

Phillip [00:32:43]:
Tony Robbins.

Eldar [00:32:44]:
Yeah, Tony Robbins. And all those persistence, consistency. You know what I mean now? Yeah.

Phillip [00:32:50]:
When you debunked discipline, for me, it was. It was just simply something along the lines of, if you're forcing yourself to do it like that, that's it. Like you're forcing yourself to do it. It's supposed to be enjoyable. Like, that's why you're doing. You need the discipline is because you don't like it. And most people are doing this. And that made sense to me.

Phillip [00:33:11]:
Yeah. So that's why I asked that example, because that's where my head went, was once you debunked kind of discipline and how I looked at it, it makes a lot of sense. And I went back to, like, somebody who that I respect. That's like, you know, a celebrity and a business person. An artist to me, would be like a Tom Ford.

Eldar [00:33:27]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:33:28]:
And when I looked at him, I told you the example of what I liked from him is that as wealthy as he is and all the stuff that he accomplished, he always talks about having to love what you do at the base of what it is.

Eldar [00:33:38]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:33:38]:
Where he went to be an architect, went to design school, realized that he was building all these demos and all these homes, but he really liked to, like, play with the people and like, dress them up like the little people that were like, part of the home says, am I at the wrong place? And then he deviated, went to a different place with designing, and he decided, okay, now. Now I love what I do, and now my whole life is built around this. So all the hours that he's putting in is as a result of loving what he does. His goals are in discipline and routine. It's all based off of I love beauty, I love dressing people, I love helping people. So that makes sense to me. But I guess deep down, I always just had routine and discipline and consistency as those things that if you don't consider yourself a talented person, which I don't consider myself, I always consider myself a hard worker and somebody who can, like, outwork somebody else. So consistency, routine, and discipline were almost like my talent, essentially.

Phillip [00:34:36]:
And I knew that, okay, if it's something I can control, if I can wake up earlier, if I can do a little more work, if I can be a little more consistent, then I can be better from a competitive standpoint and outwork somebody else. That was kind of my mindset.

Eldar [00:34:51]:
Yeah, but. Because you almost minimize to the things that you assume that you can control. Right. And you said this is my strong suit.

Phillip [00:34:58]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:34:58]:
Right. But I would challenge you is to say, actually, you haven't discovered who Philip really is, who he really is at a core, and what he has to provide. Right. And when you do, you realize that you're not just Philip who's a grinder. Right. You're actually a person who, for example, at least, right. If you surveyed everybody here, you brought joy into our lives by being yourself.

Mike [00:35:23]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:35:24]:
Right. That's my testimony.

Mike [00:35:26]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:35:26]:
Right. Yeah. I don't know about you, I think.

Mike [00:35:29]:
But what you're saying.

Eldar [00:35:30]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:35:31]:
I think anybody's ordinary everybody, because they have potential to love.

Eldar [00:35:34]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:35:35]:
And not in just a romantic way, but in. In a way, if you have the capacity, which you have the capacity for love, you have magic. You're not just a regular guy. You're not correct. What you saying is not a work.

Eldar [00:35:46]:
It's all bullshit.

Mike [00:35:47]:
And that we just haven't found love in that specific area. You may have found it in somewhere else, but once you tap into love, which is what sounds like your friend Tom. Did he. That's why people want his shit, because it's such a rare thing to find something that's created out of love, whether it's an art, whether it's clothing, whether it's a building, whether it's food.

Phillip [00:36:08]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:36:08]:
It does. Shit is fucking fire.

Eldar [00:36:10]:
And why do you think you gravitating towards it, his.

Phillip [00:36:12]:
His mind and his love towards whatever.

Mike [00:36:15]:
Because you are magnetically drawn towards love, which is something that everybody needs, everybody craves. And because he is able to show his love to the world, you are able to tap into it.

Phillip [00:36:25]:
So he expressed it in a physical form, which is resonating with me and, like, hitting me at a emotional level.

Eldar [00:36:31]:
Correct.

Mike [00:36:31]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:36:31]:
Correct.

Mike [00:36:32]:
You have the same capacity.

Eldar [00:36:33]:
You have the same capacity. Like I said, you coming in here, enjoying yourself, bringing the type of energy it is felt by everyone here. Like I said, you know what I mean? So this is just you being naturally yourself, you know what I'm saying? And it's just you never tapped into it maybe long enough in order to be able to say, like, you're actually. I'm onto something here. Like, I can be myself, I can enjoy myself and do the things that I like and like, I'm being. People are receptive to it, be open to it, and I feel good about it. Think about that.

Phillip [00:37:01]:
So I think the example that we.

Eldar [00:37:02]:
That's the talent.

Phillip [00:37:03]:
So, you know, I definitely hear that. And, I mean, it makes me feel really good to hear that. And then also, I think it goes back to the example that when I'm, like, out somewhere and I'm talking to a stranger, I said that I'm more bottled up because when I am myself and I do, when I do act like that and I'm just being, you know, totally myself, I usually don't get a positive response. So I'm more hesitant to be myself while you're here.

Eldar [00:37:28]:
You know, we're gonna find out why not?

Phillip [00:37:31]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:37:32]:
Right, because you show up.

Phillip [00:37:33]:
Yes, I do.

Eldar [00:37:34]:
But why? Right, because, you know what?

Phillip [00:37:36]:
If for whatever reason, because I'm allowing another person to influence correct me and make me feel bad for being myself.

Eldar [00:37:43]:
That'S why you want to be a singer, not a dancer, because you don't know how to dance when nobody's looking. Right.

Phillip [00:37:49]:
I buy that.

Eldar [00:37:50]:
Yeah. So, yeah, no, it's interesting. For sure.

Phillip [00:37:52]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:37:53]:
Right? And at the end of the day, again, right, like, if you can't be yourself out there in the world, right. It's going to be hard for you to go back to attracting that person, right. Because I think that's what love is. Right. For the other person to actually recognize you for you, see you for you and you being unapologetic about it is that gravitational force, you know what I'm saying? Where. And if you're conscious about it, what you actually doing, you know exactly what's happening. You know, what? I mean, you were able to, number three, steer the ship whichever way you want it. Right.

Eldar [00:38:26]:
And that, under the other individual will follow. So there's no longer this thing where you. You prefer the women to be stronger, for example. Right. It's. It's impossible for the other person to be stronger than you in the areas that you're the strongest.

Phillip [00:38:39]:
Right.

Eldar [00:38:40]:
It's impossible. Right. Somebody has to then follow the truth, you know, hopefully, based on what we're doing here.

Mike [00:38:47]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:38:48]:
You know, we embody this truth of this understanding in those individuals that are here listening or whatever, you know? So you guys would be the leaders, not somebody else telling you what to do. Like I said, unless you want to leave it to chance. Like, hey, I'm not gonna do any self worth, and I'm gonna come across somebody who's really, really good at this. Hang on to them.

Mike [00:39:04]:
What you're saying reminds me, like, a very cliche statement, and I had a problem with some before.

Eldar [00:39:08]:
Okay.

Mike [00:39:08]:
Recently, the statement of, like, yeah. Falling in love.

Eldar [00:39:11]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:39:11]:
Like, it's not a falling.

Eldar [00:39:13]:
No, bro.

Mike [00:39:13]:
And the misconception is that is a falling thing.

Eldar [00:39:16]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:39:16]:
Actually, this is what we're trying to do is actually make it a calculated thing. Somebody may fall in love with you.

Eldar [00:39:22]:
Correct.

Mike [00:39:22]:
Because they're not doing the calculations, what we're trying to understand. Yeah, but it's. A lot of people have the misconception that love is like a falling thing where it's really not.

Eldar [00:39:31]:
I always said it's. You have to live up to it. Because I think that if love is the greatest good or the greatest truth or God in this life, and when we feel it and in the presence of it and we enjoy it, it feels so good, we have to be worthy of it. If we're not worthy of it, if we don't have the qualities to be worthy of it, you're not gonna get it. You're gonna get fleeting moments of people tricking you into, you know, being like a charlatan, you know, like, just tricking you and showing you magic tricks once in a while, you know, offering you, you know, gifts or, you know, like, sacrifices and shit. You know, that's what it is.

Mike [00:40:11]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:40:11]:
You know, but you're never gonna get the actual presence of love to stick with you for a long period of time where you actually bask in it. You actually live in it. Right?

Mike [00:40:20]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:40:22]:
Yeah. You know, so. So, yeah, so I do think it's a calculated move, and I think it's. It is unlockable. You know what I mean by embodying and understanding certain truths about how this shit works and about yourself, ultimately, and then becoming irresistible, you know, for someone else, you know? And then when they get it, you can then spread it. You can explain them. This is what I'm doing. This is what's actually happening.

Eldar [00:40:49]:
You know what I mean? This is not just by mere chance. You know what I mean?

Mike [00:40:53]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:40:53]:
That this is happening. This is. The conversation has to be as confident as anything, you know? Like, you know, you're very confident in certain topics, right? You know, those certain things. Conversation about love and relationships supposed to be the same way. If you're looking for it, and if you're working on yourself and you know this, it has to be very confident.

Mike [00:41:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:41:13]:
You know what I mean? From those individuals. Because you know your shit, you like your shit, and nobody can tell you shit, you know what I mean? Because, you know, your lane, you like it, and that person comes in, they can't tell you otherwise, so, you know, you should. And those that try to. You either weed them out, right? You know, you just weed them out. And those who get it, like I said, katherine understood, in my experience. I was like, yo, she understands me.

Mike [00:41:38]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:41:39]:
You know, she understands the way I speak my language, and that's what she's drawn to me. I was like, she gets it. The other girls that I tried with didn't work out.

Mike [00:41:45]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:41:45]:
You know, and I was called, you know, a bully or a bad guy or whatever, you know, but rightfully so, you know, didn't work out.

Mike [00:41:54]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:41:54]:
They weren't ready, and they just, you know, fell on deaf ears. But Katherine understood, and she accepted me for who I was, you know? And she's like, yo, I'm riding with this corona terrorist. Huh?

Anatoliy [00:42:05]:
A cologne. Terrorist.

Eldar [00:42:08]:
A cologne. Cologne. You can't say that on air, bro, without explaining it. We're gonna cancel us. His TikTok dreams are not gonna come true, bro. You know? Damn it. Yeah.

Phillip [00:42:19]:
There goes our brand deals.

Eldar [00:42:21]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:42:22]:
I just feel like that, like, everything that's being said, it sounds like a lot of it, is, like, a simplification of things rather than, like, we're trying to. Yeah, because I. Yeah, I just feel like the. Like, the misguided direction is to, like, I don't know, kind of, like, to, like, do more, acquire more.

Eldar [00:42:43]:
Like, right now, you. That's what you hear from us.

Anatoliy [00:42:46]:
No, no, no. I'm saying that, like, this is what people are on.

Eldar [00:42:49]:
Like. Oh, people on the dino.

Anatoliy [00:42:50]:
Yeah. Like. Like the. Like what they're trying. Like, they're they're there. Like, I think in general, everybody has a natural inclination to be happy. However, it always seems like a faraway pursuit because. Because it seems like.

Anatoliy [00:43:11]:
Not that it seems that people think that it's a faraway pursuit.

Eldar [00:43:16]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:43:16]:
So, because it's a faraway pursuit, it's okay to be confused about what actually makes you happy in the present moment.

Eldar [00:43:22]:
It's okay to be confused about what makes you. Wow.

Anatoliy [00:43:25]:
Because it's a far away thing anyway.

Eldar [00:43:27]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:43:27]:
So you're right. You're all right with the confusion of it.

Eldar [00:43:29]:
You never know what the fuck you're doing. No, you never know. Like, you can't connect the dots of, like, what makes you happy, what doesn't.

Anatoliy [00:43:35]:
Make you happy, and you feel that, like, again, you don't really need to figure that out because that's something, like, long down the line. Right. And then, like, a lot of, like, the dangers of these kinds of thoughts is that you, like, like, the word like, truth. And, like, what you mistaken for truth are very, I think, like, like, closely tied in people's, like, lives. And, like, like, like, what they would consider a truth may not actually be a truth, but they live as if it is a truth.

Eldar [00:44:09]:
Correct. Well, that's why we touched on it a little bit, because Philip said, hey, it can't be materialistic stuff. It has to be internal belief systems like self respect, others. Right. Honesty, we're talking about very basic. Well, they're not.

Anatoliy [00:44:23]:
Yeah, that. That's what I'm saying. In the more purses than you in. In the simplicity, but the confusion into, like, what you're supposed to do. Like, again, like, I think anyone listening, anyone that's, like, in general doing this stuff, this was not like, it just like a, like, to me, the what, like, one of the most interesting parts about this is that, like, if you're. Whether you're listening to this or experiencing this or, like, talking about this, it seems like for probably, like, you know, 99.909.9, you know, everything, right. It's infinity people. Right? Like, they're going to be going from one direction, and they're going, like.

Anatoliy [00:45:07]:
And then they're gonna have to steer away into a different direction, like, completely right with this. Because, like, a lot of people, like, who, like, live like this, they don't. They don't, like, like, are birthing a lot of kids that right away get born into this way of life. Right.

Eldar [00:45:27]:
Okay, so the directions a little bit.

Anatoliy [00:45:31]:
Yeah, I'm saying that, like, once you realize these kinds of things or, like, start thinking about these kind of things. You're making a U turn.

Eldar [00:45:38]:
Okay.

Anatoliy [00:45:39]:
In life. And that, to me, is one of the most fascinating things about it, because once you. Once you go in the process of starting to make the turn, like, you kind of subscribe to, like, in, like, a battle that will continue until, like.

Eldar [00:45:56]:
So it solved.

Anatoliy [00:45:57]:
Yeah, until it's solved.

Eldar [00:45:58]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:45:58]:
Right.

Eldar [00:45:58]:
Discovery of yourself and.

Anatoliy [00:46:00]:
Yeah, yeah, right. And just like, the fascination that that process is going to be taken by an individual.

Eldar [00:46:08]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:46:09]:
That was going a different direction completely for a long, long period of time.

Eldar [00:46:15]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:46:16]:
And not kind of like, you were not, like, born into it.

Eldar [00:46:18]:
Right. Like, yeah. You know, it's gotta start changing somewhere. Right?

Mike [00:46:21]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:46:21]:
You didn't have, like, two philosopher, for example, like, parents.

Eldar [00:46:25]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:46:25]:
That, like, birthed you and they're like. Like, from. From the very beginning, like, kind of. Yeah. Insult the stuff. So, like, like, to me, it's like, crazy. What kind of person is that gonna be? It was like, right from the beginning. Yeah, this kind of just like, like six truth seeker.

Eldar [00:46:43]:
Yeah, right.

Anatoliy [00:46:44]:
Like, this might be like, probably like Mister J. What?

Eldar [00:46:47]:
Mister J. Mister J. Yeah. Jesus.

Anatoliy [00:46:50]:
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, right. So, yeah, that. That part. The whole process to me is fascinating. And just, like, again, like, life shows you, like, you. You said, like, the. The having. Like, only I think the simplest things have the unlimited.

Anatoliy [00:47:08]:
Or, like, what are deemed the most simplest things have this unlimited energy. It's not the complicated, like, details or the.

Eldar [00:47:17]:
No.

Anatoliy [00:47:18]:
Things like that, but again, when a lot of people are going for that and, like, part of, like, people feel part of being alive is to be in, like, you have to have a hand in this. People and people pleasing. Like, you need society to accept you. Not like. Yeah, yeah, not, not, not like that. So it's like, yeah, like, look, this is. People have a hard time with the. With, I think just a simplicity element of it, the accepting of that, because that's a different direction completely, I think is like, like, that.

Eldar [00:47:56]:
That.

Anatoliy [00:47:56]:
That's also why I think to do everything you. You're saying, like, there needs to be a, like, a complete, like, demolishing and, like, maybe reconstruction or whatever of, like, the e good, because I agree and.

Eldar [00:48:09]:
Totally don't, you know, like, don't. Don't think that, like, I'm not thinking about the fact that this is not for everybody. Like, this is definitely not for everybody.

Anatoliy [00:48:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:48:18]:
The people that are in the stages of their lives that are not ready for something like this. We're specifically having this podcast for individual who's maybe right dabbling in dating, wanting to date, wanting to find somebody. Also saying words like love, I want to fall in love. You know what I mean? I want to find love. I want love to find me. And all this other stuff, I think this particular podcast, I think is directed towards those individuals.

Anatoliy [00:48:42]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:48:43]:
Right. So, yeah, based on what you're saying, yeah, there's an array amount of people that, you know, through their life, discovering philosophy, making u turns and having to go on this crazy ass journey. Yeah. This is not for them.

Anatoliy [00:48:55]:
Yeah. But see, even, for example, even. Even if you want to fall in love, right, and you stumble upon something.

Eldar [00:49:01]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:49:02]:
Like this, I think that your definitions can, like, like you might find out, right. That like, yeah, what you wanted is not actually like what these things even are to begin with.

Eldar [00:49:13]:
Absolutely. Yeah. Well, I think, yeah, ultimately, if you, if you comment in saying that this, this term of like, I want to fall in love, right. At least here we're gonna say, what do you actually mean by that?

Anatoliy [00:49:23]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:49:24]:
Right. Yes. They're thinking like, I want to fall in love with somebody else. I'm like, oh, you actually need to fall in love with yourself.

Anatoliy [00:49:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:49:30]:
For you. Right.

Anatoliy [00:49:32]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:49:32]:
If that's the kind of the process. Right. And then finding somebody who can love you and accept you and stuff like that and put yourself out there is the process of then living up to love and keeping it for long periods of time.

Anatoliy [00:49:43]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:49:45]:
So, yeah, no, this is definitely not for everyone. And then if somebody does step into it, they definitely, I mean, you know, we don't have people here coming into this. Right? Like, hey, I'm in love, I'm in love, everybody's in love and happy and stuff. You know what I mean? We clearly have people who want to fall in love, want to find happiness, but that's going to take a lot of self work, a lot of looking within. I mean, Mike is our subject, you know what I mean? You know, who actually, you know, open this can of worms and constantly wants to push us towards, hey, how do we do this? You know, how do I do it? You know what I mean? What's the remedy? Which, what are the steps to follow? So I think, is this helping money?

Mike [00:50:21]:
Yeah, it is, it is. Yeah. It helps me think more about like, you know, I mean, I talk to you all the time about things that are happening in my life.

Eldar [00:50:28]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:50:29]:
That I'm trying to understand.

Eldar [00:50:30]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:50:31]:
Places where I don't love myself. Places where I do love myself.

Eldar [00:50:34]:
Right.

Mike [00:50:34]:
I'm sharing those things with you constantly.

Eldar [00:50:36]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:50:36]:
So it's helping me to understand things that I need to work on so I don't fall into those categories where I. I might be a people pleaser or I might not be loving myself.

Eldar [00:50:44]:
Or might not be bottling up anger.

Mike [00:50:46]:
Bottling up anger.

Eldar [00:50:47]:
You know what I mean? A lot of times you have frustration moments that you talk about because of the fact that you don't speak out for yourself, you don't defend yourself. You know what I mean? So you allow other people to kind of dictate the outcome. Right. That you're not really happy with because it does not align with what, your principles again. Right. If you honest and the person's being dishonest, but you're not saying anything makes you feel a certain type of way. If you come out of it like a loser, that's not you being liking yourself. You need to come out, out of that type of engagement, strong on top and leading with the truth that you're talking about, especially if you stand behind the truth.

Mike [00:51:20]:
But it's a lot of many, many years of bad habits.

Eldar [00:51:23]:
Correct.

Mike [00:51:23]:
That are automatic.

Eldar [00:51:24]:
Correct.

Mike [00:51:25]:
And recognizing them and then slowly trying to combat them.

Eldar [00:51:28]:
Well, I think that the whole process of waking up is to waking up to understanding that you are in pain, listening to that. Right. And finally becoming sensitive enough to say, you know what? Yeah, I'm in pain here. I'm in pain there. This what hurts? This what hurts? This one hurts. This one hurts.

Mike [00:51:42]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:51:42]:
In order to then finally slow down, calm that pain down, and then harvest energy from truth.

Mike [00:51:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:51:48]:
Like principles, beliefs and stuff like that. That's gonna fill you up. And then you could carry that proudly. Right. And illuminate into the world.

Mike [00:51:57]:
Yeah. You know, that's the goal.

Eldar [00:51:59]:
Yeah. No, it's great. That's why I'm so excited for your journey, you know what I mean? To see where you land. Because, I mean, I believe probably everybody's purpose in life is part of my understanding of it. It's fallen off to find, you know. All right. But we're on the same page. Yeah, yeah.

Mike [00:52:13]:
I think everything that we have, everything that we talk about, actually, the whole concept of the podcast is we are trying to tap into love. Whichever topic we talk about.

Eldar [00:52:21]:
Yes.

Mike [00:52:22]:
It's, no matter what, it's under that umbrella, you cannot talk about anything.

Eldar [00:52:25]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:52:26]:
It's virtuous, positive, good. Without saying, well, this is also part of love.

Eldar [00:52:31]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:52:31]:
This under that umbrella.

Eldar [00:52:32]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mike [00:52:33]:
So I think that's the goal. I think it's spread the love not just romantically, but also to each other, to ourselves. And I think that's very important.

Eldar [00:52:40]:
That's right.

Phillip [00:52:41]:
I think to go back to Toli's point and to, you know, use Mike as the example is, is a lot of people might, might not be open to it, and it might be foreign to them. But Mike's a perfect example of somebody who is open to it. So at the end, so at the end of the day, like, Mike is the perfect example of if you are open to it and maybe you are going through some things, but you're open to learning these steps, and you're saying, okay, I'm going to check my ego at the door, and I really, really want this, and what are you willing to give in order to get it? And most people probably aren't, but those people that are, and Mike's the example. Us. Me, myself, too. So I'm definitely open. And sitting here and saying, yes, I have x, y, and z, but I want to get to this. So how do I do it? And here are the actual steps.

Eldar [00:53:29]:
Yeah. 100%.

Phillip [00:53:30]:
You got to be open to it.

Eldar [00:53:31]:
100%. And, you guys, don't underestimate the fact that you're open to it is what brings out us to deliver or find out the actual answers to it in the first place.

Phillip [00:53:40]:
Right.

Eldar [00:53:40]:
Because those people, like, if Tony brought all those people that he just mentioned into this room, we would not be having this conversation at all. Right? We'd be having a conversation, completely different conversation here. Not even about the steps, probably, you know, having conversation about, like, the basics of, like, hey, like, you have a mind and you can think, you know? Like.

Phillip [00:53:58]:
Right.

Eldar [00:53:59]:
Like, you know, there's ways to reason, like, you know what I mean? Like, it's gonna be a completely different, different thing. But because Mike and you are open to it, we're able to come down to, like, really nitpick each. Every single piece. Yeah. Specifically terror to you. Right. As to where we can tune you up and stuff in order to get you there. Yeah.

Eldar [00:54:20]:
You saying it's helpful, so that's great.

Mike [00:54:21]:
Oh, yeah. I feel it.

Eldar [00:54:22]:
That's great.

Mike [00:54:23]:
I think I have to ask myself where, you know, the things I'm engaging in. Am I extracting that? What I'd like to.

Eldar [00:54:29]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:54:30]:
Am I treasures.

Eldar [00:54:30]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:54:31]:
The love that I should want to receive from my parents.

Eldar [00:54:33]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:54:34]:
And lately, I can say, yes. You know, I'm extracting a lot more. They extracting it from me, too.

Eldar [00:54:38]:
Yeah. Which is great. Feels great.

Mike [00:54:40]:
You know. Um, so, I mean, that's, like, one huge one, but, yeah, essentially, the question I have to ask myself, am I engaging in whatever it is and I'm loving myself in it.

Eldar [00:54:51]:
Yeah. And, you know, are you violating yourself?

Mike [00:54:54]:
Or am I violating.

Eldar [00:54:55]:
Are you people pleasing? Are you doing stuff in order to please somebody else and not yourself and going against your actual core values.

Mike [00:55:01]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:55:01]:
Right. Had the same example where he gets into dating sometimes and he allows, I guess, to stretch the band of, like, what he can tolerate, you know, toleration ban, you know, up until she crosses that line, he's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What are we doing here? You know? And then he starts barking.

Phillip [00:55:17]:
Yeah, I think it's tough. So I found that, I guess, leading with something like morals and saying, like, yes. Like, I. You know, I want to see how you basically treat your parents, how you interact with your friends. Like, you know, if you're kind. I think, you know, asking somebody straight up, like, those type of questions, I'm.

Eldar [00:55:39]:
Not sure if you want to fall in love or if you know yourself. You even ask people those questions in the first place, though.

Phillip [00:55:45]:
Right. You're just being yourself.

Eldar [00:55:46]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:55:47]:
And just allowing you to be yourself. And it's observing.

Eldar [00:55:49]:
Is that what's going to happen, I think, is it's not how they're going to treat. Yeah, treat the parents.

Phillip [00:55:54]:
Fuck that.

Eldar [00:55:55]:
You have to be open enough to see how they would treat you and know those situations.

Phillip [00:56:00]:
Right.

Eldar [00:56:01]:
You know what I'm saying? And then whether or not then you can have corrective behavior if you're strong enough to be able to help them in those relationships as well. Cause you're not gonna find a perfect person.

Phillip [00:56:10]:
So let's say the example, right? Like, so if you're not asking them straight up questions about morals and values, and you're basically observing. So if you're talking to somebody and you're talking about, say something kind of, like, trivial or just kind of like, surface, like, oh, tv or what do you watch on Netflix? Blah, blah, blah. So engaging in those type of conversations.

Eldar [00:56:30]:
Yeah, I would ask, why are you engaging those types of conversations in the first place?

Phillip [00:56:33]:
So what are examples, then, of, if I'm just observing, of just. If I ask her a question about a Netflix show, I can see how she talks back to me and how she responds of, is she kind? Is she being condescending?

Eldar [00:56:49]:
Do you constantly find yourself shooting out tests for them to kind of.

Phillip [00:56:53]:
No, no, what I'm saying is I like to just have conversation. Right. So what I'm. What we were saying is that I don't lead with the thing that I find very, very strong in my belief system, which is the moral. So I'm asking, what is a way to lead with it without being trivial and ask surface level questions like, what's your favorite tv show?

Eldar [00:57:11]:
That's what I was gonna say. That it just doesn't sound like the things that you value you can incorporate into being yourself. And then them come out naturally in.

Phillip [00:57:20]:
Conversation without, like, just kind of walking around. If I'm just out to dinner, like.

Mike [00:57:27]:
We do on the Saturday, walking. Talk about topics with the girl.

Phillip [00:57:30]:
Right. Okay.

Mike [00:57:30]:
So say, I mean, you could. Yeah, she might understand. Like, yo, this guy's. So say me and my do a little bit smoother, probably.

Phillip [00:57:37]:
So say me and Mike are walking on a Saturday. It's just like, kind of loosey goosey. We're just walking. We know each other. Like, you can just throw out anything, just like we're talking right now.

Eldar [00:57:45]:
Yeah, like disgusting stuff.

Phillip [00:57:46]:
Yeah, maybe, maybe.

Eldar [00:57:49]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:57:49]:
But let's say you just meet somebody. I'm sitting down a restaurant. Somebody comes down, she sits next to me, and we're talking. Talking, right?

Eldar [00:57:54]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:57:56]:
I like in those situations, like, how do you lead with something strong, like morals and kindness and how she's gonna treat you without asking directly and being a total nut?

Eldar [00:58:09]:
No, you need to be the total nut that you are. Ah, okay. Which is about the continuation of what you just said to me. I picture you and Mike in a bubble that you've created together. You walked into this bar together in this bubble. That person, that person that comes in, into the sits next to you should not burst that bubble. That bubble needs to be extended onto that person and incorporated into that conversation and into that dynamic.

Phillip [00:58:35]:
So it's not really where you're gonna.

Eldar [00:58:37]:
Feel genuinely your true self, be able to be yourself and as open as possible, and if you are, you will be able to see everything, whether that person will fuck with you, understand you have. Have the humor level. All that stuff will come naturally to you.

Phillip [00:58:51]:
Okay, so the way that I understand that is the conversations and the words are kind of secondary, and it's really the energy of what I'm giving off and, like, who I am. Is that more in line?

Eldar [00:59:02]:
Yes, but, like, I don't want to. Just, like, I don't want to say.

Phillip [00:59:04]:
It'S just energy, but that's how I understand it.

Anatoliy [00:59:06]:
No, I mean, I understand what I think he's trying to ask is, like, what does he actually say to these girls? Like, in general, what should he be talking about or saying without asking directly? Like, hey, are you a good person?

Eldar [00:59:23]:
Yeah. No, I get it. I get it. Definitely. Do you have compassion? All the dates or whatever that he went on, met the girls, all the interviews that he conducted. You know what I mean? That's what it is. It's interviews, right? Yeah. We're completely not him, right?

Anatoliy [00:59:37]:
No, but he's asking, like, what does he actually say?

Eldar [00:59:39]:
I'm explaining to you, I'm explaining to you that if you're in that dynamic, you don't actually say, you interact.

Anatoliy [00:59:46]:
Okay?

Eldar [00:59:46]:
You interact. You continue that conversation that you were having with Mike, for example, about certain stuff. If you're curious about something, right?

Phillip [00:59:53]:
And you don't stop because she don't stop.

Mike [00:59:56]:
You just drag her into it.

Eldar [00:59:57]:
You drag her into it.

Mike [00:59:58]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:59:59]:
You say, like, you know, if you guys talking about, you guys talking about these concepts, right, concept. Have to be extended. So, like, if you're stumped about something like this number three thing, right? Like, oh, shit. Like, how do I, how do I steer? How do I be strong and steer the direction in relationship? Hey, what do you think? Right?

Mike [01:00:14]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:00:15]:
And then she's gonna say, what? And you're like, listen, me and Mike, we're over here. We're trying to figure out how to fall in love, stay in love and steer the right direction. Like, this is the part that we don't understand. What do you think about that? Like, can you give me the insight? That's like a genuine, like, I wanna know, tell me or teach me. Let's see what you got. This person either, like, entertain your shit, think that you're creep or completely turn around, whatever. You keep it moving, right. But if they do, you have a conversation.

Eldar [01:00:42]:
And when through that conversation, you will naturally flow into all those questions and answers naturally and organically.

Phillip [01:00:50]:
So the foundation is being yourself and being strong enough to just overwhelm.

Eldar [01:00:55]:
Yes, overwhelm with your energy. Any fucking nonsense and fears or doubts or insecurities that you have when you meet somebody new.

Phillip [01:01:03]:
Like a fear of rejection of me and my having that conversation. It's like, oh, wait, now there's another person here. Let's stop this conversation. We'll pick it up later.

Eldar [01:01:10]:
Yeah. Because you did not buy in a number two.

Phillip [01:01:12]:
I didn't buy in a number two.

Eldar [01:01:13]:
Yeah. It sounds like you yourself don't believe in yourself.

Phillip [01:01:15]:
Right?

Eldar [01:01:16]:
And because you don't believe in yourself, you have a stop or a block that you have to restart the conversation for new people.

Phillip [01:01:22]:
For new people.

Eldar [01:01:22]:
Yeah. You have to go brush your teeth, make sure your hair is right, make sure everything's correct. You know what I mean? That you don't have no stains on your shorts without actually understanding that what you're carrying, that energy, let's call it. Right, right. It's actually your resume.

Phillip [01:01:35]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:01:36]:
And everybody can read it. Everybody. We all human being. We have the ability to read it, but you have to present it.

Anatoliy [01:01:42]:
Yeah, that's funny. Like, the way that you talk about it, like, it's. It's literally, like, just, like, really good sales like that.

Eldar [01:01:50]:
Well, yeah, yeah, but you're selling yourself.

Anatoliy [01:01:53]:
Yes, yes. But I also know that ideology of you. Yeah. And, like, I know different times, both ends of the spectrum of, like, of, like, for example, if we want to bring up, like, sales as an example of, like, being asked questions, not knowing what to say. Again, being, like, a people pleaser. Oh, like, that guy's a vp over there, right? Like, yeah, but he works for a big company.

Eldar [01:02:17]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:02:17]:
Like, all kinds of things. And then being on the. On a different, like, side of the spectrum when it comes to, like. Like, knowing every question answering. And, like, I think the biggest.

Eldar [01:02:31]:
To.

Anatoliy [01:02:32]:
Me, as I'm thinking about it, the biggest difference in both kinds of people is that to the person who's. Who's confident and that, like, is self developed in that way, there's no such thing as, like, rejection and, like.

Eldar [01:02:53]:
Like, he's good on it. Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:02:55]:
That person cannot get, like, it's impossible for that person. Yes.

Eldar [01:03:00]:
Well, not.

Anatoliy [01:03:00]:
Yeah, well, I think it's like, you're being away.

Mike [01:03:03]:
You're being a bully. And you're not gonna let this Google guy bully you. You're not gonna let this girl bully you. You're gonna bully her.

Eldar [01:03:09]:
Correct.

Mike [01:03:09]:
And if she likes it or not.

Eldar [01:03:10]:
She'S gonna get no choice.

Mike [01:03:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:03:13]:
See it.

Phillip [01:03:14]:
So this is where nice guy ang broke is tricky. This is where it gets tricky. So now, when you're somebody who values, like, kindness and being nice, and maybe you try to avoid confrontation. So I found myself in situation. I found myself in situations where almost now, looking at it, you're kind of pushing yourself to the side, and you're opening up a new conversation. So you're not trying to, like, ruffle any feathers. Right. You're trying to.

Phillip [01:03:41]:
So it goes back to the people pleaser thing where you want to. The consequence of. Of not being yourself and pushing that conversation, that real conversation, to the side.

Eldar [01:03:50]:
Real.

Phillip [01:03:50]:
It's not quote, it's real. You're basically putting yourself in a position where you're not going to get what you want.

Eldar [01:03:57]:
Correct.

Phillip [01:03:58]:
And she's going to walk or he's going to walk all over you because you're not saying what you really want to say because you're afraid of whatever their reaction is going to be with is people pleaser.

Mike [01:04:10]:
And that's the punishment for you not being true to yourself.

Eldar [01:04:13]:
Yes, that's what happened. You earlier said that the people who are people pleasing should be, it should be illegal for them to date, right?

Mike [01:04:20]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:04:20]:
Let alone talk to other people.

Phillip [01:04:21]:
And this is a primetime example.

Eldar [01:04:23]:
Yeah. Correct. You know what I'm saying? So until you get to the point where you know your shit through and through, like he said, sales know that every answer, they're like, any answer that they can throw a question they can throw at you, you have the answer to. Until you know your shit, right. You like your shit actually like what you're talking about. You know how to do it properly, right. Nobody can tell you shit at the end of it, right? Like, that's it. That's the three remedies, right? If they can't tell you shit, then, like, you standing on your shit, you good.

Anatoliy [01:04:54]:
Is it possible for that, for, like, those three things of what you said, like, what is the difference between, let's say, people who have that? Like, is there, is there such thing as having that as a permanent state or is it a matter of some sort of upkeep versus, for example, people who have that in like, a fleeing state?

Eldar [01:05:14]:
So good question. The question is that you say it again. Yeah, the question is, look, we can go in, into that state or what he's talking, what I'm talking about. Right. Knowing yourself in certain areas especially. Right?

Mike [01:05:26]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:05:27]:
Like, really like it. You know what I mean?

Anatoliy [01:05:28]:
And like, because I'm bringing that up because obviously, like, in, when it comes to, like, a relationship or stuff like that, like, obviously I think it's very important to pretty much always have that. But I'll bring it up in, like, a personal example where that I know that I've been in modes where, like, I almost question myself, like, can I do this or can I do something or, like, do it? Like, yeah. Just completely questioning things. Right. Being that person. And then I also know that there's times where it's just like, in a complete flow state where it's just like, there's the most self belief and the most, like, uh, like the, like, like, it's not a flame. Like, it's, it's just like a permanent state. And there, there's no one that could touch me right now in that way.

Anatoliy [01:06:16]:
And then also, the opposite can also happen. To me.

Eldar [01:06:19]:
To me as well. I mean, do you ask yourself, like, uh, do you, like, pay attention to yourself of how, when and why you come out?

Anatoliy [01:06:28]:
No.

Eldar [01:06:29]:
So you don't know. So you don't really care. To me, this is very important. No, to me, it's like, yeah, it's like if somebody can sway me off of this, I'd be very pissed. Yeah, I have, like, you know, what.

Anatoliy [01:06:44]:
What happened to me, at least at some, like, in, in certain times, is that, like, I don't even realize that I'm out of this?

Eldar [01:06:49]:
Well, yeah, because yours is not like, it's not solidified enough for you. Even. You don't even believe it enough. You want to, like, hey, like, somehow hold it.

Anatoliy [01:06:59]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:06:59]:
And then use it for long periods of time. You know what I mean? If you're not paying really attention, then. And what do you actually have?

Anatoliy [01:07:05]:
Yeah, no, no, that's how I'm asking.

Eldar [01:07:08]:
Like, you, like, you, let's walk over the draw, you know, for you, like, it's every time, it's like you don't know what you're gonna get, ya know?

Mike [01:07:14]:
That's why you have to pick up every stone to see where the things.

Eldar [01:07:17]:
Yeah. Like, there's plenty of people. Totally. I think when they go on dates, they take a shower, they put, put on, you know, nice perfume alone, nice shoes, nice everything. Yeah. They're buzzing.

Anatoliy [01:07:28]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:07:29]:
They're gonna get what they want in that moment. You know why? Because they're confident.

Anatoliy [01:07:33]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:07:34]:
You know, they muster up the energy. They had a good week. They got paid. Whoa. You know what I mean? They had a shot.

Mike [01:07:40]:
Liquid courage.

Eldar [01:07:41]:
You know what I'm saying? Liquid courage. They're good. They're buzzing. Yeah. Is that really who they are?

Anatoliy [01:07:48]:
No.

Eldar [01:07:48]:
People muster up that kind of energy for, you know, you know, all sustain it.

Mike [01:07:53]:
You have.

Eldar [01:07:53]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:07:54]:
Has to be your life.

Eldar [01:07:55]:
Correct. I mean, if you, if you want to, if you don't. Have you talked about those people again? Right. You talk about those people that up and down, up and down and stuff like that. But I think in here, we're trying to crack it so it's a consistent state. Right. So we're not just hiding out and now, you know, apartments, you know what I mean? And trying to control every single thing to make sure that our, our mental doesn't go.

Mike [01:08:15]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:08:15]:
Every time we meet a new person or somebody's challenges us.

Anatoliy [01:08:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:08:18]:
To know what we're talking about.

Mike [01:08:20]:
Oh, yeah. I think it's part of knowing yourself, knowing the areas.

Eldar [01:08:22]:
Yeah. And I think that a confrontation, Phil?

Phillip [01:08:25]:
I don't know.

Eldar [01:08:26]:
Fortunately, unfortunately, is inevitable. You know what I mean? And I think that you just haven't found the beauty in it or the energy that you can harvest from confrontations. You know what I'm saying?

Phillip [01:08:39]:
Yeah, I think getting more, I guess.

Eldar [01:08:42]:
How did you. Oh, sorry. Sorry to cut you off. Just example came to my mind. Right. You had a confrontation with your uncle.

Phillip [01:08:49]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:08:49]:
You grew your balls.

Phillip [01:08:50]:
So I was, yeah, I was gonna bring that up. So, so I would say getting more comfortable with the confrontation part of it. But it's as it's, it's directly tied to sticking up for yourself. So, so when it, when it's tied to sticking up for yourself versus like just trying to like maybe get somebody to like, like you, like, it's different. Like, at least for me, it was, it was very, very important to like stand on my own 2ft and say like, I believe in this and I'm saying this because it's tied to like, who I am and how I think that I should be treated.

Eldar [01:09:25]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:09:25]:
And to me that goes into other things like kindness and how people treat you. So if you're not getting treated correctly, that's to me, a reason to be confrontational.

Eldar [01:09:36]:
And it warrants it. Yeah. And I think that you are underestimating that within, like you're talking about a bigger thing. Sure.

Phillip [01:09:42]:
Right.

Eldar [01:09:42]:
But you underestimate that within a conversation, a single conversation you have with a person, how much disrespect actually happens. Oh, yes. Right. It's because you haven't paid attention, actually paid attention to what's actually going on. If you really pay attention or what's actually going on, you quickly realize that the people are running amok. Right. Amok. And they're oppressing you within the conversation.

Phillip [01:10:03]:
Oh, yeah.

Eldar [01:10:04]:
And they usually are not conscious at all of what they're doing. They're just doing it out of selfish needs. Autopilot. Yeah. Right.

Phillip [01:10:13]:
And I came and I, what I, and to that point, what I learned afterwards is to come from a place of empathy and realize that that person is not conscious. So when they are talking to me, they're coming from a place of not wanting to basically let you go in a sense. And they're trying to control through manipulation because they don't know how to love. So when you, again, you don't know how to love yourself. In a business, people do this in family, you know, friendships and relationships, people do this where they, they don't want you to leave, they don't want you to reject them. So they try to keep you around through some type of manipulation. And what happens is they just treat you like shit. And if you allow it, and you don't know who yourself, who you are.

Phillip [01:10:55]:
So when I'm young and I'm, you know, impressionable, and I. I like certain.

Eldar [01:10:58]:
Things about, you know what I mean?

Phillip [01:11:00]:
Yeah. So you're like, okay, I like x, y and z about this person. So in a sense you're saying. Saying, maybe subconsciously I'm going to have an even exchange, at least at the time. That's what I thought was if I get that from that person, I'm going to allow them to treat me like shit and manipulate me.

Eldar [01:11:17]:
You sold your booty hole for very cheap.

Phillip [01:11:19]:
Exactly. So I allowed myself to go through that. So I think that's a really big part for people to understand, too, is that you have to understand that if you're just going to point and blame the other person, it's going to happen again with another person. Once you basically take the responsibility and say that I'm 50% of this equation where I allowed this to happen. Maybe I didn't know what was happening, but I basically. My wiring who I am, my life experience has led me to the point where I allowed somebody to treat me like that. I didn't know who I was. Maybe I was taken advantage of, but it did happen, and I have to take responsibility or it's just going to happen with the next relationship, the next person I work with.

Phillip [01:11:59]:
And once I confronted that, realized that that never happened again. And my conclusion was, I'm gonna love that person from afar. There's no hate, there's no, like, vindictive nature. There's nothing.

Eldar [01:12:10]:
I get to return your AR 15 and you get your money back.

Phillip [01:12:14]:
There you go.

Eldar [01:12:16]:
Everybody wins.

Phillip [01:12:20]:
It's a win win.

Eldar [01:12:21]:
Yeah, like, you know, save money, you know, empower yourself.

Anatoliy [01:12:24]:
Except for the story that sold you the.

Eldar [01:12:28]:
But, yeah, no, but yeah, 100%. I agree with you, but, yeah, except that fit that 50 50 talking about I'm trying to get with love thing. I think that, you know, to empower yourself to like 90. Right. To get you to the next level, that you have control a lot more than you think.

Phillip [01:12:41]:
No, what I'm saying 50 50 of the outcome is a hundred percent. But yes, I agree. There's. There's two. A hundred percent. Yeah, outcome. So if you want to look at it like that, yes, I was 100% responsible for my actions. They're 100% responsible for theirs.

Phillip [01:12:57]:
But I was looking at it of the situations, 100%. You're both bringing 50.

Eldar [01:13:02]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:13:02]:
So that. That equals the hundred. That's how I was looking at the.

Eldar [01:13:05]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I agree with you. I agree with everything that you said. Yeah, 100%. How do we get there?

Mike [01:13:10]:
How do you get there?

Eldar [01:13:11]:
How do we get there?

Phillip [01:13:13]:
Tom Ford fragrance.

Mike [01:13:15]:
Pay attention to the pain.

Eldar [01:13:18]:
Yeah. Where is the pain coming from?

Mike [01:13:20]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:13:20]:
Right. What. What is making you angry?

Mike [01:13:23]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:13:24]:
Like, you know, frustrated and angry. Same shit. Right. That same thing. What is making you do that?

Mike [01:13:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:13:30]:
Right. And then you have to evaluate that. Right. You probably pointing the finger at the external world.

Mike [01:13:35]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:13:36]:
Right. But actually, you need to be pointing at yourself. Always just find out that you actually don't know how to deal with the world properly.

Mike [01:13:41]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:13:42]:
You don't know how to properly react. So where is that coming from? You know what I mean?

Mike [01:13:49]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:13:50]:
And when you do learn, finally, then you have more desired outcomes.

Mike [01:13:54]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:13:54]:
And then you oppress the world. You choose what to engage, you know, hopefully, you oppress the world with truth. Right. With love.

Mike [01:14:01]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:14:02]:
Right. And. Yeah, sure. I mean, the empathy is a good one, but ultimately, at the end of the day, think that sitting back and not actually, you know, talking back, arguing and stuff like that, you don't get to develop a certain level of character, I think.

Phillip [01:14:20]:
Oh, no, no.

Eldar [01:14:20]:
You can. Through confronting.

Anatoliy [01:14:25]:
Is very important.

Phillip [01:14:26]:
No, but this is after the fact that. What I'm saying is that once you do confront that person, you basically say what you need to say and nothing else needs to be said. Where you stood your ground, there's, you know, there's no more relationship there. I think instead of holding a grudge or, like, saying, I hate that person, to carry that type of energy, what I'm saying is that if you can come from that place of empathy, truly look at that person and you realize all the things that you thought that you really wanted in that person were all the things in yourself that you really didn't like. And you realize that you feel bad for that person because you realize that, wow, they don't like themselves either. I think coming from that place of empathy, you're opening up your heart and saying, I really feel bad. I can't do anything about it for you because you have to discover it in yourself. I'm on my journey.

Phillip [01:15:12]:
Thank you for. If you can truly say thank you for getting me to this point. Without you, I might not have got there, even though it was negative. That's a really, really beautiful place for me to come.

Eldar [01:15:23]:
Truly moving on and forgiving forgiveness.

Phillip [01:15:25]:
That forgiveness, to me, like, when I thought about it like that, I said to myself, oh, I hate, I hate, I hate. And even after I did the confrontation, I said, oh, my God, I really do hate him. And we got to see each other, and there was a conversation, and I realized, like, I still do love him. And I realized that there is love there, but I can love somebody from afar, because sometimes the relationship is not meant to grow together. Sometimes you can grow separate. Maybe you come back, maybe you don't. But I learned that that time together that we spent was valuable. And even though maybe he treated me the way that he did, nobody, I don't think, truly wants to hurt another person.

Phillip [01:16:06]:
So I think when you're so, so disconnected from yourself, it's a sickness. It's a mental, mental sickness.

Eldar [01:16:12]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:16:13]:
To me, coming from that place of empathy and realizing that, yeah, it is a sad thing, and. And a lot of people run on that autopilot, and they're just going after those things, going after all these things, trying to protect your family, trying to protect your business, taking care of yourself, and you're like, like, who? Like, look, who am I? Like, do I even, like, know who I am? Like, what? Like, what do I like about myself? These people are not even asking these questions at all their whole life. And so I'm like, damn. Like, I have the ability to think about myself, who I am. And now I'm so grateful for all the good stuff that I have, and I'm even grateful for the bad stuff because it got me here. And now I just move on. And now I want to attract people who are like minded to myself, because now I want to grow with this foundation. I don't want people to motivate me by pain anymore.

Phillip [01:17:00]:
I want more of the love element.

Eldar [01:17:01]:
Yeah. So the tricky part about this, right, you see how you say, hey, I want this, and I don't want this.

Phillip [01:17:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:17:09]:
If I give you a fast track of it, I think that you. You will be able to. If you continue to journey on self work and all this other stuff, something tells me that you're gonna be attracting a lot more nuttier people into your life because you will have the abilities to be able to help those individuals.

Phillip [01:17:28]:
Yeah, I could. I can see that.

Eldar [01:17:29]:
Rather than, like, you know, just. Okay, I'm just gonna get everybody who's respectful.

Mike [01:17:33]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:17:34]:
I don't think that's how I think it's.

Mike [01:17:36]:
It's with your uncle situation.

Eldar [01:17:37]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:17:38]:
The goal is maybe not to ban him.

Eldar [01:17:40]:
Correct.

Mike [01:17:40]:
But know the areas like, yo, with money, I don't fuck with it, but with sports, you know, that's my man.

Eldar [01:17:45]:
That's right.

Mike [01:17:45]:
Right. But, and that's because you, no matter who you're gonna face, whether it's your boyfriend, girlfriend, there's gonna be areas that you can't fuck with them because they have problems there.

Phillip [01:17:54]:
But that's why what I'm saying is loving somebody from afar versus dismissing them. You're not saying, I hate that person, and I'm cutting them off completely. The things that you do love about them say, if it's. To me, it was, I love his heart and his energy. Right? Like, he was like, somebody's a charismatic. Like, I gravitate towards that person, somebody who has talent, somebody who can, like, walk into a room and, like, people are just, like, looking. Like, I'm like, oh, wow. Like, this is, like, this is cool.

Phillip [01:18:23]:
I still love that about that person. I still love that about people in general. I'm very drawn to people who can grab the attention of a room. But then it's also, like, where is it coming from? What type of person now, it's a different type of analysis. And now I'm looking at it from my own lens of somebody who now can say, I do like myself. I do feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin versus having to try to get that from somebody else, maybe a celebrity. Maybe somebody else is saying, oh, I feel this in myself, but I'm not being that. I'm not being that example.

Phillip [01:18:57]:
So me confronting that and sticking up for myself, I realized, yes, but I agree, Mike. I'm not dismissing it. There may be parts of that where I like it, but there's no part of the relationship where I want to grow in that area. It's almost like, to me, like reopening a conversation with somebody that you used to date and trying to date them again, I think once you did it, and then you see that person, like, what the problem is, it's over.

Eldar [01:19:23]:
I see how, like, if you came across those types of people, you shutting. Shutting down or shutting off a part of you can be not necessarily an attractive thing if you wanted to attract somebody. Right, right. Because ultimately, that's like a. Almost like an area of incompetence.

Mike [01:19:40]:
Yeah. What you're saying to me, at least, what it. What I heard, is that you're not empowered enough to actually be able to deal with that, because what you're actually saying is that what the problem is, not that he's like, that is the problem is you your reactions to it, deal with it or accept it. You know, you cannot fuck with him at all because you can't fuck with this part of him. But that is the same as reverse. You can't accept yourself because you can't fuck with parts of yourself. But the goal here, I think, is to know your strengths, know your weaknesses, and engage in things that you like and you don't and avoid these don't like.

Eldar [01:20:18]:
Ultimately, what it is, is, I think, be able to lap. He has to be able to learn how to lap his uncle.

Mike [01:20:23]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:20:24]:
You know what I mean? He has to know what's the scope of service and be able to just run circles around him.

Mike [01:20:28]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:20:29]:
You understand that's where the empowerment comes in, I think. Not the avoidance. A lot of people would play this thing like, hey, negative people, we gotta avoid them. You know, we gotta stay away from them. No, knowing how to deal with those types of individuals is the true empowerment. And knowing yourself as to like, okay, cool, I know this is bad. I know this is good. I know how to play with both sandboxes.

Mike [01:20:47]:
You can still be friends with him, but when he starts wanting to take you into that specific area, you already switch mindsets. You're like, yo, this is only troll mode. We're not taking none of this seriously. That's a great tool that I learned from Eldar is so when you're facing a thing that's not, maybe not pleasant or adversity, you put humor in it, because most of the time, those people, they're just acting. And if you just make a joke out of it, they're gonna give up.

Eldar [01:21:14]:
Fast and long enough. Long enough. You making enough jokes, you snap them out of it and they're like, wait a sec. They get stumped and they don't know what to do and what to say. It's the funniest shit.

Phillip [01:21:25]:
But why? Like, if I already confronted them and I'm already comfortable, and after I talk to them again and I understand where the relationship is, like, why would I even need to be around them?

Eldar [01:21:38]:
To me, the world, I'm not saying around them. I'm saying that your uncle. Uncle is not one person who has this personality type out there in the world.

Phillip [01:21:45]:
But this is what I learned, though. Once you confront that and you tell yourself or you tell them what you're willing to accept and what you're not willing to accept, what I learned is that those type of people were coming into my life, whether it was relationships with a form of a woman or other members of a family. Or a friend. And people were treating me that way. Once I stuck up for myself, that level of behavior is not into my life anymore because I don't allow it. So that part's done. Now. If that person came up to me, now I have the confidence to handle it.

Phillip [01:22:16]:
But what I'm saying is, once you say, I'm done with that type of behavior and I'm not allowing it, my thing was, I don't want it to come in my life anymore. And now it has nothing. And now I'm opening myself up to people that I want to be around. So what I'm saying is loving from afar is just when I'm closing the chapter, instead of having vengeance or instead of having to come at that person or when I see them, I hate them. I don't. I can come from a place of love, but I'm just choosing not to spend my time with people that basically have that type of mindset or give off that type of energy. Like, if you're a more toxic minded person or you're not an open minded person and you're not showing growth, why would I want to be around you if you're not my son? My job's not to take care of you. I look at it, I need to take care of me.

Phillip [01:23:03]:
I took care of myself. And in that situation, I think I handled as best as I possibly could. And if I saw him now, it's fine. It's not like I'm running around or I avoid it, but to me I have choices and my choice is to love from afar. So I think it's the best of both where it's not avoidance. And if that part comes in, I'm. I can confront it now because I have the confidence to do it.

Eldar [01:23:26]:
Fine. Does that make sense? It does make sense. A hundred percent.

Phillip [01:23:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:23:29]:
And I just think that the world is so vast and the personalities are so close to. A lot of people have a lot of same personality, same traits and stuff like that.

Phillip [01:23:38]:
Oh, yeah, no, I agree.

Eldar [01:23:39]:
I just think that because maybe you hypersensitive to that kind of, you know, dynamic or whatever, and you've said to yourself very strongly that, like, that this is it, this no means no kind of thing. I think that you will have a lot of remnants of PTSD that you're going to see in a lot of different people with that type of energy or that type of dynamic.

Phillip [01:23:58]:
Oh, no, see, I see the opposite, though, because when I was allowing it in, I was seeing more of it. Now that I put my foot down and I said no, like I do not accept like this type of like behavior. And it's more of yes, allowing somebody to just kind of like lead the conversation and I'm just kind of like loosey goosey, like okay, haha, fun, whatever. And now it's more of no, like, I'm not allowing you to be like this in my presence. I don't, I don't want it, I don't like it. And it doesn't have to be like mean or like mean spirited or like, you know, an ego thing. It's just really like, nah, like sorry. Like I'm not, that's like not my thing.

Eldar [01:24:38]:
It works for you.

Phillip [01:24:39]:
To me, it works for me where I don't see a recurring pattern of it, where before I saw more. So again, like, yeah, maybe, maybe it can come up, but I think the avoidance part comes with not confronting it and allowing it to linger. I feel like I address the situation and everything to me that's happened as a result of it from maybe two years ago. I'm at the place now where I feel really good and I don't see any of those type of people in my life.

Eldar [01:25:10]:
Or even better.

Phillip [01:25:11]:
Yeah. So I mean, that's my personal example.

Eldar [01:25:13]:
Yeah, well, it's hard. I would, I would say that you would have to reproduce that example. And was the last time you reproduced that type of a level of intimacy with somebody?

Phillip [01:25:24]:
Well, it's different. I mean, for, with a girl in a relationship anymore.

Mike [01:25:28]:
Um, you've been, you've been locked up abroad for three years.

Eldar [01:25:31]:
How long have you been sitting on, on Santa's lap?

Phillip [01:25:34]:
Yeah, so, so, I mean, working a remote, being home and not, not being around people like, like that to have, like you have.

Eldar [01:25:44]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:25:44]:
So working with people.

Eldar [01:25:45]:
Right.

Phillip [01:25:46]:
And then like you're, you know, talking to my friends and interacting with my friends like, yeah, yeah, that, that's definitely different. So like that level of like a family member that you love or an intimate relationship, something like that. No. So I haven't tested that out in that capacity. No, I have not. So I don't have an example of a present day.

Eldar [01:26:04]:
That's what, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. It's like how long will you be able to keep the world at bay is what I'm saying. And how long do you, the thing is, the reason why I'm challenging is because if you want this journey, right, if you want to fall in love, if you, I think that you will have to see and confront and be able to be good. With all the faces of the challenge, like, they're gonna be. And okay. Through your uncle thing.

Mike [01:26:29]:
So you're saying, like, nothing in comparison to what you're gonna face.

Eldar [01:26:33]:
Yes.

Mike [01:26:33]:
Adversity wise, in a relationship. So you say you want so many levels. Like, yeah, Yonko is gonna be like, peanuts.

Eldar [01:26:41]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:26:41]:
So you're saying navigating it, like, and just being really comfortable with it, but looking at it in more of an intimate setting, like, putting it into practice where I'm gonna see it again in a relationship. Like, is it gonna have to be another problem, or is it gonna have to be, like, this whole big thing? Or can I be just more comfortable with it? Like, is that what you're saying?

Eldar [01:27:00]:
I mean, like, yeah, number one, comfortable with. Yes. But next level is where it can't touch you at all, but you can be in the presence of it, and you can actually enjoy yourself. I'm not sure if you're really enjoying yourself when you are going like this.

Phillip [01:27:12]:
Like. Like, not, like, not letting affect it.

Eldar [01:27:14]:
Yeah. You have a block. You've created a block. It's been working for you. But the block is. I'm not sure if it's a pleasant experience unless you tell me it is. Then I'll take your word for it.

Phillip [01:27:25]:
Well, I'm. Again, I'm going back to, like, if I don't have the exact answer here, I'm going to the results, and I've liked all the results that I've got so far.

Eldar [01:27:34]:
But you don't have any results. Like, you don't.

Phillip [01:27:36]:
No. Of where I'm at now. Like, what I was doing with working, like, who I've become as, like, a person and, like, my. My journey of, like, how I've been with, like, exercise and routine, like, how I, like, transform my body in my mind, who I am, where I am now. Yeah, exactly.

Anatoliy [01:27:51]:
I'm having a hard time following the conversation. Like, in, like, the. Like, I feel like, to have this conversation properly, like, we have to be specific.

Eldar [01:27:59]:
Right?

Anatoliy [01:28:00]:
Like, in, like.

Eldar [01:28:02]:
This is as specific as it gets.

Phillip [01:28:05]:
It's a personal example, so.

Anatoliy [01:28:06]:
I know, but I'm saying, like, knowing what the actual example is.

Eldar [01:28:09]:
No, no, I don't have to know.

Phillip [01:28:12]:
So I think what we're talking about. Yeah, so I think what we're talking about is, like, the. The example would be putting it into use now. So what we're saying is, if we're having a confrontation, you're putting your foot down. And then what eldar is saying, to my understanding, is that. Have you done this in an intimate setting with another person where maybe that type of emotion has come up and have I dealt with it again or am I going to be like, all right, I'm going to love that person from afar, too, and never be open again and never be vulnerable again? So to that point, I would say, yes, that's a good challenge. I haven't done it yet, but I've been working more on myself and I haven't been to that point where I'm ready to date. And I don't think that I've finished all those things yet.

Phillip [01:29:00]:
I think the things that we're talking about in that list, I've, I've hit certain parts where I feel a lot better from where I was, but I wouldn't put myself as a candidate of I'm ready to go date and I'm ready to put myself out there.

Anatoliy [01:29:10]:
So are you challenging whether, like, um, like the situation, how it unfolded with his uncle, whether that, like, if he applied that same, like you, you first asked if he has done that to somebody else, like, since, right? And, yeah, the answer was a no.

Eldar [01:29:30]:
Right.

Anatoliy [01:29:30]:
Because he didn't write no. Right. And then is your challenge, like, will you be able to or no, my child?

Eldar [01:29:37]:
My challenge is that. My challenge is ultimately, is that I'm not sure if he dealt. I'm not sure if the conclusion that he made out of it is actually going to be one that's going to be serving him in his life.

Anatoliy [01:29:48]:
Okay.

Phillip [01:29:49]:
He's saying, if I gonna be happy, which is loving somebody from afar, or am I gonna have to maybe love some bad parts of some people in order to, like, maybe?

Eldar [01:30:00]:
No. No. I'm not, I'm not preaching here to love any bad parts of any person. I think that you should challenge any parts of any person challenge you should disagree with and you should fight back, you know what I'm saying? And you hopefully try to rehab that person, including yourself, too, if you have some kind of bad parts about yourself.

Phillip [01:30:15]:
Right? So that part definitely happens. So. But what we're talking about is it hasn't been applied to an intimate relationship since then.

Eldar [01:30:22]:
What I'm saying is that ultimately, because of the way he developed this specific dynamic with him afterwards with this uncle or now that he has this block or this wall that he learned how to do, I'm not sure how, like, effective this wall is number one. Right. Or how serving it's going to be for him when it comes to more relationships. You know what I'm saying? I think that he could be, he's gonna close a lot of doors for himself. Right? Because of this technique.

Anatoliy [01:30:49]:
Oh, okay. No, I think he's.

Eldar [01:30:53]:
I think he closed off a part of his heart, you know what I mean? To get close to somebody on that level and to see really dark areas, because the dark areas will be there, you know what I'm saying? And his uncle is gonna show up in many different ways.

Anatoliy [01:31:06]:
Do you think the fact of, like, not opening up to begin with from the. From the start ties closely with this.

Eldar [01:31:13]:
Opening up where, like.

Anatoliy [01:31:15]:
Like, not. Not being himself.

Eldar [01:31:17]:
100%. Right? Yeah, 100%. That's what this is.

Anatoliy [01:31:21]:
What to not end up in that kind of.

Eldar [01:31:23]:
I think that he's not allowing the world to come in. He has a lot of check marks that the world has to meet in order for him to open up and be happy and jolly. Otherwise. Otherwise the gig is up. I'm challenging him to say, hey, put that down. Know how to run circles around these people, know how to troll these people, know how to challenge these people and kick them in the ass if you have to. You know what I mean? But still be yourself.

Phillip [01:31:44]:
So it's to be strong. It's to be strong enough where I don't. I don't have to just be around people who are fully accepted me. I can be myself around anybody no matter what. So my thing right now is my perfect example, which we talked about already, is when I'm out with strangers who I know are maybe not going to accept me, I go into a shell, and I just don't allow myself to do that protection. So that example, is that so? So, yes. So I feel comfortable around you guys, and I'm allowed to show, like, who I am because I feel really comfortable with you guys. So we're talking about finding your inner strength and courage to be yourself at all times so you don't have to go into those shelves when you're at home by yourself, because when you're witnessing.

Eldar [01:32:23]:
That goal of what you want to.

Phillip [01:32:24]:
Do, because that's the goal, you want to be who you are all. At all times.

Eldar [01:32:27]:
I'm asking you. Right?

Phillip [01:32:28]:
Unapologetically.

Eldar [01:32:29]:
Yes or no?

Phillip [01:32:29]:
Yes, definitely, yeah, 100%.

Eldar [01:32:31]:
There you go.

Phillip [01:32:32]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:32:32]:
I think if you unlock that key, I think that you're gonna be on to something.

Phillip [01:32:36]:
I think we're on to something here.

Eldar [01:32:37]:
We did it.

Phillip [01:32:37]:
That was good.

Eldar [01:32:39]:
You know what I mean?

Mike [01:32:41]:
So that means on Saturdays, we can't be doing the same shit.

Eldar [01:32:46]:
Oh, here we go.

Mike [01:32:47]:
Hiding in the shadows like that.

Eldar [01:32:49]:
Oh, yeah. You guys going to the fireplace and you guys sit down like this and talk like this.

Mike [01:32:52]:
He's saying that he's hiding in the shadows.

Phillip [01:32:54]:
I thought, well, what I know. What I'm saying is that, like, I'm realistic with myself in terms of this checklist, right? I know that I'm not ready to date yet. At least I don't think so. So all the things that I do for me are still bettering myself. I still like to exercise, opposed to sit down on Fridays, like Saturdays. Like, I like to wake up, go exercise, do my thing. I don't consider that hiding. I just consider myself, like, in motion doing something that I do enjoy genuinely.

Eldar [01:33:19]:
And trading off for a small little headache or migraine at night. It's not a bad trade off.

Mike [01:33:24]:
No, it's not bad.

Phillip [01:33:25]:
And I'm gonna get goggles to fully black it out.

Anatoliy [01:33:28]:
We're trying to ruin night. Mike's trying to ruin Saturdays. Damn, Phil.

Mike [01:33:33]:
Yeah, sorry, bro.

Eldar [01:33:34]:
What do you sign up for?

Mike [01:33:35]:
Right.

Anatoliy [01:33:37]:
I'll meet you at eight. Fell for the ferry.

Phillip [01:33:41]:
Mike's not coming, so I'm going solo.

Mike [01:33:45]:
I'm gonna be the last one hiding.

Eldar [01:33:48]:
I see.

Phillip [01:33:49]:
I don't. I don't see it as hiding, though. So, like, when we go to, like, Ludlow or, like, walking around or we're going to a certain place, to me, like, not interacting with somebody else.

Mike [01:33:58]:
Not social acceptable.

Eldar [01:33:59]:
Right.

Mike [01:33:59]:
So, like, talk about the kind of things that we talk about here in the outside.

Phillip [01:34:02]:
Hmm. I wouldn't say no, I would say.

Anatoliy [01:34:08]:
That you lucky elders in the bathroom right now.

Mike [01:34:10]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:34:10]:
No, I wouldn't say.

Eldar [01:34:11]:
I'll give it.

Anatoliy [01:34:12]:
If you give me $10, I won't repeat what you just said.

Phillip [01:34:15]:
No, I wouldn't say that was lucky.

Anatoliy [01:34:17]:
You're the bathroom other right now.

Mike [01:34:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:34:19]:
Lucky stuff, right?

Anatoliy [01:34:20]:
Lucky.

Phillip [01:34:22]:
See, like, I would think we're hiding if we get him. Yeah, I would like we're hiding if we didn't do anything.

Anatoliy [01:34:27]:
Is it okay to talk about what we're talking about here? Like, out on those Saturday places? And he said, mmm, I don't know.

Eldar [01:34:33]:
Of course.

Mike [01:34:34]:
Yeah. Me and. Me and soup. This guy. Soup. I don't know if you met him, but he went to Houston, like, three weeks ago, and we're sitting having a conversation. Yeah. And we wrote this girl in that's working there.

Eldar [01:34:46]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:34:47]:
And, you know, because we're chatting and she's good looking girl. Like, you told me to try it.

Eldar [01:34:52]:
Yes.

Mike [01:34:52]:
I'm like, I dragged her in.

Eldar [01:34:54]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:34:54]:
Within five minutes, I knew her whole life story. She's a conspiracy theorist. And that's it.

Eldar [01:35:00]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:35:01]:
Just paying attention to what's actually happening. Yeah, but her question.

Eldar [01:35:04]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:35:05]:
She did not have an answer. She was not interested. And when we did ask her another question, she started going off on a tangent about, like, conspiracy theory. The food is rigged, this and that. She hates her job, but it's good money. All the stuff. Everything I needed to find out about that person, I knew. So.

Phillip [01:35:20]:
So for me and you, like, when we do Saturday, right? Me and you were having these type of conversations. I don't find myself at any point where they were sitting down at a place or we're out, or I'm limiting myself or, like, trying to do something else. What I'm saying is that when I'm at these places, I'm not trying to go and pursue anybody else because, like, that's not my mo. My whole thing is, like, I want to keep walking. I want to do my steps. I want to get my exercise, get my heart rate up, have a conversation with the blind. But I just don't. I'm not, like, thinking about, like, oh, if somebody sits next to me, I'm not.

Phillip [01:35:51]:
I'm not stopping the conversation, but I'm not going and looking for it.

Eldar [01:35:55]:
So to me, but if you look.

Mike [01:35:56]:
Over at a girl while we're having a conversation and you'll tell me she's cute or, you know, to yourself to be cute, you already stopped the conversation.

Phillip [01:36:03]:
Oh, yeah. It's just my best. Is my mind looking at somebody and saying, oh, yes, they're attractive. But I'm not. I'm. To me, I'm not changing the conversation for for that. I'm just making.

Eldar [01:36:13]:
Would it be nice if an attractive person joined the conversation and sound.

Phillip [01:36:17]:
But I'm not. I'm not saying I'm like, that can't happen. What I'm saying is that, yeah, sure.

Eldar [01:36:23]:
But would you not prefer that night?

Phillip [01:36:25]:
It's nice if she's cool.

Eldar [01:36:27]:
Yeah, yeah, cool.

Phillip [01:36:27]:
Yes. If she's cool, great. But to me, I like Mike's company. Right? If I didn't like Mike's company, I would be like, all right. I'd rather just do the walks by myself.

Mike [01:36:35]:
You're trying to be a selfish prick, yo, you understand we talk about gold here, and you want to deny people gold, Phil. Yeah, that's not. No good, Phil.

Phillip [01:36:45]:
So if I just find somebody physically attractive and I just make a comment, to me, it doesn't mean, like, I want to have a conversation with that person. I'm just making, like, an observation for you. I enjoy having conversations with you and spend time with you. So I'm like, okay, I want to do that with you. I'm not looking to do that with a complete stranger, but I realized that not being open to that from this conversation and others, it's not good.

Mike [01:37:10]:
So that can be the world. All the good stuff that can be the test moving forward is, like a violation.

Phillip [01:37:16]:
Yeah, I get it, but I don't think that I'm totally avoiding it.

Mike [01:37:20]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:37:20]:
I think the test would be okay. If that situation does come up and you see me. Yeah. Call me out on it, but I haven't seen myself do that yet because I'm just not interacting with other people like that. I more keep to myself.

Eldar [01:37:32]:
Yeah. Yeah, no, for sure.

Phillip [01:37:33]:
And that's. That's just how I've been kind of going about things.

Eldar [01:37:36]:
Yeah. And it's been serving you.

Phillip [01:37:38]:
Yes.

Mike [01:37:39]:
You don't want to throw on another variable.

Eldar [01:37:40]:
Up until this point.

Phillip [01:37:41]:
Yeah, yeah. Up until this point, it's definitely been, yeah.

Anatoliy [01:37:44]:
I feel like with this world interaction, you have a lot of anxiety, like, on. On this thing. Right. And because of that, you want to.

Eldar [01:37:51]:
Kind of, like, can you relate a little bit?

Anatoliy [01:37:52]:
Yeah, I can.

Mike [01:37:53]:
You want to keep it?

Phillip [01:37:54]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:37:56]:
Yeah. You want to keep things.

Eldar [01:37:58]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:37:59]:
You want to keep things on the wrap.

Phillip [01:38:01]:
There's an element of control.

Eldar [01:38:02]:
You like a circle of trust. No.

Phillip [01:38:04]:
Oh, yes, definitely.

Mike [01:38:05]:
Yeah. Wow.

Phillip [01:38:11]:
I feel comfortable in this because you're.

Anatoliy [01:38:13]:
Like, in that machine, like, in the arcade where you shoot the ball and the ball always rolls. It's already on the hill. You getting it back?

Eldar [01:38:20]:
My shit always works, right? Yeah, 100%, he said, oh, yeah.

Phillip [01:38:25]:
But, no, if we're talking, we're referring to this group, right. We're saying this circle. Right? Like, I can be myself.

Eldar [01:38:31]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:38:31]:
I can just say whatever if I'm out. Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm not just like, oh, all right. Like, let me just say whatever. I'm weird, but I can talk to.

Anatoliy [01:38:41]:
Mike, but I'm out.

Eldar [01:38:42]:
I just can't get weird.

Anatoliy [01:38:43]:
You?

Phillip [01:38:44]:
Yeah, like, if you're just talking to a complete stranger, like, I don't usually.

Eldar [01:38:48]:
Out on you, dude, maybe. So your talents. You are talented guy.

Phillip [01:38:53]:
Would you so.

Eldar [01:38:53]:
Never thought that you had talents. But I think that the world can enjoy Philip for we enjoy Phil.

Anatoliy [01:39:00]:
Yeah, but see, I think Philip has criteria, so who should enjoy him?

Eldar [01:39:03]:
Oh, now we go. Now we go into that. Okay. You're saying why he's on a revenge tour. Yeah, revenge tour. He's trying to protect the world.

Mike [01:39:14]:
He's trying to retake the ring.

Eldar [01:39:16]:
Why?

Phillip [01:39:16]:
Because of you.

Eldar [01:39:17]:
The smiggle from.

Anatoliy [01:39:19]:
Wait, wait.

Phillip [01:39:20]:
Because I'm protecting myself. Is that the revenge is basically saying.

Eldar [01:39:24]:
I'm not totally saying this, but I'm asking.

Mike [01:39:26]:
Overly protective. It's one thing to protect by. Totally might be saying that you're trying to.

Eldar [01:39:31]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:39:31]:
Be a total control freak.

Phillip [01:39:33]:
But what I'm asking is, is that. So you're saying the revenge tour would be basically holding out on my light to give to other people because they don't hit those checkboxes. Is that what we're saying?

Eldar [01:39:44]:
Totally in.

Anatoliy [01:39:46]:
Yeah, partially.

Eldar [01:39:46]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:39:47]:
Okay.

Mike [01:39:47]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:39:47]:
Okay. Yeah, I see that. But I get Philip.

Eldar [01:39:50]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:39:50]:
Like, you want to bring in quite, like, from everything I hear, you want to bring in, like, your standards. Yeah. Qualified individuals.

Phillip [01:39:59]:
Yeah, yeah.

Mike [01:40:02]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:40:03]:
If you're working at a bar and you're just there to look good and serve drinks, like, you don't deserve any kind of philosophy talk.

Phillip [01:40:09]:
No, I mean that. I wouldn't say that. What I would say, but you know what I'm saying. That's. I mean, that's an extreme example. That's, like, me, like, judge. Like, what their job is partially true.

Anatoliy [01:40:19]:
But it's partially true.

Phillip [01:40:20]:
No, not really partially true.

Eldar [01:40:23]:
Listen, you try to throw them under the bus, bro.

Phillip [01:40:25]:
That's like. That's like a judge thing. I don't look at myself like that. I look at myself as they can.

Anatoliy [01:40:30]:
Be actually talk about good.

Phillip [01:40:31]:
But I'm looking at myself as somebody who's protecting myself from somebody protecting his thing.

Eldar [01:40:37]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:40:37]:
And doing everything exactly. A certain way to. To not throw something off because he thinks. He thinks he has something good going.

Eldar [01:40:43]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:40:44]:
And he's worried that anything, like, anything that's small.

Eldar [01:40:47]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:40:47]:
It's a meteor, bro.

Eldar [01:40:48]:
It's a meteor. Fucking meteor.

Phillip [01:40:51]:
Yeah. I like the trajectory that I'm on.

Eldar [01:40:55]:
You say he's the bubble boy from that movie.

Mike [01:40:57]:
I'm just talking shit.

Anatoliy [01:40:58]:
Have I relinquished the title?

Mike [01:40:59]:
You might have. Reluctant title.

Eldar [01:41:01]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:41:01]:
Yeah. So I can definitely handle like this right now. So. No, no, we're talking about me being out. Right. So if I'm out and that if we're saying that I'm controlling the situation by not letting certain people in, I feel good by now. I have one other person. Right.

Phillip [01:41:19]:
Walking with me. Say if we all go, then we have a group of people that are going that I feel comfortable with. So I'm somebody that if I'm in a group setting, it's easier for me to be myself with people that I'm comfortable being myself around. If I'm just somebody who doesn't want to open up to strangers, it's not easy for me to just go out and do that like that. So I think being with people who I trust going out and then doing that slowly but shortly, then maybe I can get the confidence to do it, maybe on my own. So I look at it as, like, baby steps. So it's not like I'm fully closed off. I'm going from being fully closed off, working by myself at home to now coming to an office, being with people, talking, like.

Phillip [01:41:57]:
Like, openly about this on a podcast. To me, there's, like. There's levels of it, and to me, jump into it. It's, like, very extreme. And that's what I used to do, do the extreme things, and then you do it for a little bit, and then you stop. I did it with diet. I did it with work. You do it with relationships.

Phillip [01:42:13]:
To me, all the stuff I've been doing is building the foundation of stuff that's now working. Now the diet's sticking because it's bigger than just, like, how you look. It's how you feel and energy. Now with work, it's more holistic. There's talking, there's walking, there's work, there's relationships. Everything, to me, is now part of a whole circle. So now I'm realizing what's the why, and now that is driving me. So, yes, I understand what you guys are saying, or maybe I am closing myself off to certain people, but I am aware of that now, and I realize that.

Phillip [01:42:46]:
So now when I am talking, it's like, okay, maybe. Maybe I can go talk to somebody, and, for instance, we go to that bakery.

Eldar [01:42:54]:
Phil, if you didn't tell me this, this is what's actually going on out there.

Phillip [01:42:57]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:42:57]:
I actually thought that you were actually, like, social butterfly out there.

Phillip [01:43:01]:
No, no, it's opposite.

Eldar [01:43:02]:
You understand?

Phillip [01:43:03]:
Very much opposite.

Eldar [01:43:04]:
You understand my perception of you.

Phillip [01:43:05]:
Yeah, because when I'm around you, this.

Eldar [01:43:07]:
Is what I'm saying.

Phillip [01:43:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:43:09]:
And that's what I. Why I'm projecting that into the world, thinking that Philip is a social butterfly and does these types of things, because Philip enjoys and likes to do these types of things, so why wouldn't he be?

Phillip [01:43:20]:
I do. I do. So that's the thing, you know, people that I do it around.

Eldar [01:43:23]:
You're limiting yourself.

Phillip [01:43:24]:
Yes, I agree. So. So the people that I do do it around, I do have relationships with, and I feel comfortable with. But you're talking about getting to the point of doing it. All the time. I want to do that.

Eldar [01:43:36]:
Listen, this is what I'm saying, but.

Phillip [01:43:37]:
I'm not there yet.

Eldar [01:43:37]:
At the end of the day, right. If you want to fall in love, going back to falling in love.

Phillip [01:43:40]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:43:41]:
Who is that person that we're going to fall in love with? Stranger.

Phillip [01:43:45]:
Yeah. I get it. That's why I know that I'm not qualified to do it yet. I'm not giving myself the dating pass yet. You realize.

Eldar [01:43:51]:
No, no, no. And now that you said we have to be able to give you the daily pass, you can't go anywhere.

Phillip [01:43:55]:
Oh, yeah.

Eldar [01:43:56]:
I'm not. No charge against.

Phillip [01:43:57]:
I'm not giving myself good. Definitely not.

Eldar [01:43:59]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:44:00]:
And you guys definitely are not giving me the pass.

Eldar [01:44:01]:
Yeah. No, no, you're not ready. That's 100% for sure. But, yeah, I think that's. It's one of those is that criteria again, where being able to be good all around. Right. We found you just, you know, being honest. You found an area where you might not necessarily like yourself in, and one day you would like to bridge the gap between the whole world and be yourself everywhere that you can be.

Eldar [01:44:22]:
Right.

Phillip [01:44:22]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:44:22]:
Without having to be always, you know, scared.

Phillip [01:44:25]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:44:25]:
You know, be like a little mouse. But when you do, I think that you'll be pleasantly surprised. How nice it feels. Cool. You know, but for now, Mike. You gotta play hide and seek with Mike.

Phillip [01:44:38]:
Yeah, I'm fine with that.

Mike [01:44:39]:
Yeah, we can't do that. You don't want to invite me anymore?

Eldar [01:44:44]:
Wow. Mike's a bull, man.

Phillip [01:44:46]:
He said he's not coming tomorrow. I'm going by myself.

Eldar [01:44:48]:
Pretty fucked up.

Phillip [01:44:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:44:49]:
How it feels being by itself, you know? But damn, y'all. Yeah.

Phillip [01:44:52]:
Back to solo walking. I'm gonna get free coffee tomorrow, though. Happy about that.

Eldar [01:44:58]:
Mike, come on. Go for the free coffee at least.

Mike [01:45:01]:
No, I can't. I have to stay home.

Phillip [01:45:03]:
Yeah, no, I definitely hear you guys.

Eldar [01:45:06]:
Okay. No, cool, cool. No, I think it's important. Yeah. Again, I think that's number three. Number three is actually to be able to then steer the ship. And this, the ship that you're steering is an external ship.

Mike [01:45:20]:
It's actually an external one.

Eldar [01:45:22]:
Yeah, it's an external one. If you said, you know what? I'm just gonna be like Philip kind of closed off in my house and have a relationship with myself.

Mike [01:45:27]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:45:27]:
You don't gotta do that.

Mike [01:45:28]:
No.

Eldar [01:45:29]:
Because you just playing mind games with yourself. But if you want to be with somebody else who's a stranger potentially. Right. With a set of beliefs, set of values, understandings, quirks, problems, issues, you name it. A whole buffet of things. Right?

Mike [01:45:42]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:45:42]:
At the end of the day, I think that you got to be a wholesome person to be able to steer the external ship as well.

Mike [01:45:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:45:48]:
As the internal one that you're gonna get bombarded. Right. Internal reaction is one thing, but being able to influence the other individual with the way you are.

Mike [01:45:57]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:45:57]:
Is extremely important.

Mike [01:45:59]:
Well, yeah. Yeah. Because the first two, they give you a foundation of.

Eldar [01:46:03]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:46:04]:
The direction you want to steer your own ship.

Eldar [01:46:06]:
Correct.

Mike [01:46:06]:
And then you like, okay, jump aboard.

Eldar [01:46:08]:
Correct.

Mike [01:46:09]:
I'm gonna take you for a journey.

Eldar [01:46:10]:
Yes. And the reason why I think that, uh, the external ship is super necessary, at least for me. You agree? You're gonna agree with me because, number one, you're a parrot. Number two, you. Number two, you understand me? Is the fact that it's fucking, it's cooler and it's, you have more fun. You have more fun with the external, with more people, the more the fucking Marriott. You know what I'm saying? Like, you just, there's so much to fucking enjoy. It's unbelievable.

Eldar [01:46:39]:
There's so many people, so many personalities, so many fucking funny things to come across. You know what I mean? Even just a basketball, right. Team. Everybody we put on the fucking team, you see how nut of a character they all are. Because we go straight to the point, pointing those things out and enjoying them for who they are, and they're like, what the fuck is going on? You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what I think. That's my argument. I think it's the world. Yeah.

Eldar [01:47:04]:
That's number one. But, like, and what I'm saying is that the external world is a fascinating thing. So just to deprive yourself of it has to be a cat lady.

Mike [01:47:14]:
Yeah. A bag lady.

Eldar [01:47:15]:
And I don't want to be a cat lady.

Mike [01:47:16]:
I do like cats, though, which is.

Eldar [01:47:18]:
Wonder why.

Mike [01:47:19]:
That's. Yeah, that's scary.

Phillip [01:47:22]:
I like panthers and jaguars, too. I got, like, all. I don't like.

Eldar [01:47:25]:
All right, let's just try to be a little bit more cooler than the cat lady, but sure.

Phillip [01:47:29]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:47:30]:
Exotic pet handler.

Eldar [01:47:31]:
Yeah. Oh, exotic pet handler. Yeah. Philip.

Phillip [01:47:36]:
Oh, you know, now I get it. No, I see that because you're right. So your perception of me is correct, but the reason that I am not doing it is protecting myself. But I am limiting myself to experiencing this consistently.

Eldar [01:47:53]:
Yes, because you can extend this past us. And I mean, I wish that for you, obviously, because, and it comes down to me. Yeah.

Phillip [01:48:01]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:48:01]:
It's your choice.

Phillip [01:48:01]:
It's my.

Eldar [01:48:02]:
I don't give a fuck what you do at the end of the day, but. You know what I'm saying?

Mike [01:48:04]:
But. But, yeah, I agree. Yeah, you're doing. But I think inherently, we all crave it. Yeah.

Eldar [01:48:12]:
Yes. No, no. You're gonna go back to love.

Mike [01:48:16]:
Oh, yeah.

Eldar [01:48:17]:
Self love doesn't end there. And then it becomes a romantic love.

Mike [01:48:21]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:48:21]:
And that is the fucking. The shit, the gold, the connection. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Me and Kathryn, we make love till this day, 15 years later, we cannot believe what we're doing. Like, holy shit. Like, we cannot believe that we connect this way. It's unbelievable to us. 15 years later, she's like, you're not tired of this body? You crazy? I go crazy every time we enter together.

Eldar [01:48:43]:
Like, it's ridiculous. Why is. Because we are truly vulnerable and we ourselves in the act and together throughout the day. You know what I'm saying? We know each other, so when we unite, it's fucking fireworks. You know what I mean? And I think that's what everybody's looking for.

Phillip [01:48:59]:
Definitely.

Eldar [01:49:00]:
A real connection, real love, real fucking, you know, thing. Something genuine. Yeah. No. External. External world is fascinating, and it's there for you to enjoy, and it's. It's there.

Anatoliy [01:49:11]:
Now, do you think that, like, um.

Mike [01:49:15]:
The.

Eldar [01:49:15]:
The.

Anatoliy [01:49:16]:
This. Like, I was, like, in general, like, I mean, I'll say most. Most people have the issue of being. Of, like, being afraid almost. Right.

Mike [01:49:25]:
Right.

Eldar [01:49:25]:
To be themselves. Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:49:27]:
Or have certain conditions.

Eldar [01:49:28]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:49:29]:
And stuff like that.

Eldar [01:49:30]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:49:30]:
Do you think that's a product of everybody at some point, being hurt with something?

Eldar [01:49:35]:
Yeah, probably. But, like, it's. It's like. Yeah. The whole attempt here is to believe in your own magic. Like, I want.

Mike [01:49:41]:
It's okay.

Eldar [01:49:42]:
You're human. Equals to. You are magic, like, crazy. To be human, to experience this life, that's fucking magical. That's like a crazy experience. Like, you're fascinating. Everybody is, like, fascinating. You know what I mean? But because of the fact that everybody's tuned in into this whole fucking, like, sheep mentality and brain got brainwashed, maybe through pain, into believing some nonsense.

Eldar [01:50:04]:
Yeah. People that are walking around nowadays are just. They look like gremlins, bro. And I'm talking about the people that are altering their fucking physical appearances and shit. You know what I mean?

Phillip [01:50:15]:
Like, for acceptance under the knife.

Eldar [01:50:17]:
Just for acceptance.

Phillip [01:50:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:50:19]:
Just to be able to, like, let the society tell them that they're okay to be in society alive. Like, what? That's ridiculous.

Phillip [01:50:27]:
So that's, like, the ultimate form of people policing. But again, if I analyze the situation going back to like, why I'm hiding, it's ultimately right if I'm, if I'm not being accepted right for who I am and my personality, it would be almost normal in my situation to do something extreme like go get plastic surgery if you're a girl, or go do something to say, oh, maybe somebody was rejecting me for this, and if I have this, then I'm not. When maybe that's a mental health condition. Right, exactly. And they might not even be rejecting you for that reason.

Eldar [01:50:59]:
Absolutely not.

Phillip [01:51:00]:
You're just not strong enough to say like, oh, yeah, you're rejecting me and that's fine.

Eldar [01:51:04]:
Yourself of that reason.

Phillip [01:51:05]:
Exactly.

Eldar [01:51:06]:
Nobody ever even said to you like, oh, you know, your feet are too big or something, you know what I mean? Or your head is too small.

Phillip [01:51:11]:
So. Right. So you guys are pointing that out to me and, and it's allowing me to think about it. And I think we talked about this example a couple of times. It's, sometimes you need to have an outside perspective of somebody saying it to you in a certain way for it to resonate, for it to click, because you can be spending a lot of time on your own, reflecting philosophy, all that stuff on your own.

Eldar [01:51:30]:
Who am I?

Phillip [01:51:31]:
Do those and whatever it may be, books, audio books, walks, meditation, whatever.

Eldar [01:51:36]:
All you need is a little bit of elderism.

Phillip [01:51:37]:
And sometimes you just need another opinion. Yeah, an elderism or other person podcast, whatever it may be for our listeners. And yeah, so to me, I need an outside opinion sometimes that's not my own.

Eldar [01:51:49]:
But there has to be a component of open mindedness. You're sitting here being vulnerable enough to be able to open up and talk about your experiences and for us to dig a little bit deeper and you're inviting that into your life.

Phillip [01:52:01]:
Oh, yeah, I welcome that.

Eldar [01:52:02]:
Yeah. So you thrive on that. That is why it's happening the way it is.

Phillip [01:52:07]:
It makes sense to me because I don't do these conversations because I can challenge myself enough, maybe physically or with certain type of things. When it comes intellectually, I have the way that I perceive information. It goes in my brain. I'm not challenging the way that I'm perceiving certain things. It's almost weird to do that. It's kind of nuts. So when somebody else does it, then it makes me think. That type of mindset doesn't happen to me.

Phillip [01:52:36]:
Like I'm not absorbing information, reading something, seeing something online and being like, oh, why am I thinking like that? Like I'm just like, oh, okay, this.

Mike [01:52:44]:
Is what it is.

Phillip [01:52:45]:
I'm filtering it the way that my brain is wired to think.

Eldar [01:52:48]:
That's right.

Anatoliy [01:52:49]:
Yeah. I feel like open mindedness. And it's not like, I don't think that. It's just like, okay, I'm open minded. Right. Because you'll get challenges and you'll get to a point where you'll be like, where you might actually be like, no, I'm actually close mindedness. Fuck, no.

Mike [01:53:03]:
No.

Phillip [01:53:03]:
You're checking the ego. I think that's the big one.

Eldar [01:53:05]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:53:05]:
So I think that, like, open mindedness and continuous open mindedness.

Eldar [01:53:10]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:53:10]:
Is indication that you actually want to find out.

Phillip [01:53:12]:
But you can be open minded and just liberal.

Anatoliy [01:53:14]:
You can be open minded for only so long.

Eldar [01:53:16]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:53:17]:
Then you get to the point where.

Eldar [01:53:18]:
It hurts too much, where you're like, nope, that's it.

Phillip [01:53:20]:
But that's what I'm saying. You can be open minded anymore. You can be open minded and say, oh, that's an idea. But I think being open minded and accepting it, I think, for me, turning off the ego, I think it becomes a pride thing. I think. I think it becomes like a. The pride thing is they're gonna say.

Eldar [01:53:38]:
We paid you, bro.

Phillip [01:53:40]:
The pride. The pride thing is definitely a big one because I. I can definitely say to myself, I think we all definitely have gone through points where you're arrogant or you think you. You think you're a certain way, you think you're better than everybody else, blah, blah. You realize, okay, we're all connected. We're all in the same field. Everybody goes through pain, blah, blah, blah. But when it comes to these type of situations where you actually do want to learn, and growth becomes the thing that you're going after, learning and becoming better so you can contribute and be like, somebody who can add value.

Phillip [01:54:09]:
And it's not just about what I can get, what I can get. And most people who are in that insecure state of getting the botox, getting the boob job or whatever it may be, or doing a look thing, they're trying to get something from somebody else that has nothing to do with their inside. So to me, it all comes back to that. We're talking about self love. And when it's genuine, you are open minded to somebody being critical because it's ultimately helping you grow. It's free advice. That's how I look at it. It's like a free therapy, but it should be.

Eldar [01:54:41]:
Cost a lot.

Phillip [01:54:42]:
It should cost a lot.

Anatoliy [01:54:43]:
Yeah. I just remembered that was Philip's signature line.

Phillip [01:54:48]:
What's that to me?

Eldar [01:54:50]:
What do you say to me? What?

Anatoliy [01:54:52]:
Like, like those two words I remember him repeating over and over again and, like, a million different conversations. Like, that's his line.

Phillip [01:54:59]:
Oh, to me.

Anatoliy [01:54:59]:
To me.

Phillip [01:55:00]:
Oh, meaning, like, conversation always says me.

Anatoliy [01:55:02]:
Well, to me. Like, that's his line.

Eldar [01:55:06]:
Ah, I just remembered it. Yeah. Okay. To me, listen, that's good that you got there. I think there's a reason, I think that's one of the reasons why you're here and you're able to have this open conversation the way you do because of the fact that mindset, there's no other way around it.

Phillip [01:55:21]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [01:55:22]:
You know, which is, which is, which is hard to come by.

Phillip [01:55:25]:
Yeah. Being. Definitely being open to it. But I think we're all on the same page where we all are open to grow. And I think these type of conversations are maybe difficult at some points because there is that initial kind of, like, there's that kind of resistance, and you're like, maybe trying to defend yourself in a sense, and that is the ego. Right. So then when you can recognize that, then that, I think that's what Toli's talking about, you can accept to a certain point, then you say, oh, no, no, no, it's enough. But once you reach that threshold and you're like, all right, like, everybody's saying this, like, let me just sit back for a second, and, like, like, let go of the attachment.

Phillip [01:56:01]:
And then you're like, okay, here's the answer. It happened with discipline. It was very, very quick for me in that one.

Eldar [01:56:06]:
I was very surprised.

Phillip [01:56:06]:
Philip, for discipline, you're doing something that you don't like. If you're doing something that you like, you don't need discipline. Holy shit. I totally get it. Next topic.

Eldar [01:56:16]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:56:16]:
So sometimes it's little, with certain things like this, maybe it takes a little more. But yes, I understand that your perception of me, that definitely struck a chord, because, I mean, it struck a chord.

Eldar [01:56:26]:
In me that, like, you out there putting up a front. Yeah, you're fronting.

Phillip [01:56:31]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:56:32]:
And you have your, you'll have your.

Phillip [01:56:33]:
Reasons to protect myself.

Eldar [01:56:34]:
Correct.

Phillip [01:56:34]:
But that's only the reason.

Eldar [01:56:35]:
Those reasons. Yes, yes, I get it. I get it. But like I said, I think that you're limited, ultimately limiting yourself. But you have your reasons, obviously, which are based out of fear and all this other stuff.

Phillip [01:56:44]:
And I agree with you. I am limiting myself. So it's like I'm to make myself happy and to go back to self love, which is a topic we're talking about if I want to love myself. An example.

Eldar [01:56:54]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:56:54]:
Taking a bath, going for a walk, blah, blah. But connecting with people would probably be at the top of my list. Socialize.

Eldar [01:57:00]:
Yeah. You're not doing it. You came here and you started doing it.

Phillip [01:57:04]:
I literally took a job that allowed me to be home and not interact with people. And then I start to say to myself, I'm not interacting with people. Like, I chose that. Right. So I put myself in this position, and it goes back to the results. Like, I'm separating myself from certain people or people in general. Now, the pandemic, you can have all the excuses, and it's like, I want to talk to people, but I want to do it on my own terms. So then I'm limiting all those interactions.

Phillip [01:57:29]:
So the way that we're talking about it now is getting strong enough and having enough courage and strength to go out there, accept rejection, and if it comes, okay, great. Move on to the next one. But I'm still myself. I'm not going into a shell every time somebody makes me feel uncomfortable. That's the goal. Am I there yet? No. Am I open to it or what the hell?

Eldar [01:57:48]:
We're not gonna do it over one night. Yeah, you do the next level. Beast. Yeah, beast mode. But yes, only Mike can handle shit like that, you know, like, all right, we got this done. I'm going out there. I'm trying it, you know?

Phillip [01:57:57]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:57:58]:
You know, but, yeah, I hear you guys. And doesn't mean he's gonna crack it, but he'll definitely fall and break his nose a couple of times. But he's gonna do it. He's gonna try it.

Phillip [01:58:06]:
He's a tough nut.

Eldar [01:58:07]:
He head first, you know, and which is also like, you know, you could admire somebody like that, too, for the courage. Hunter, you know what I'm saying?

Phillip [01:58:16]:
Definitely.

Eldar [01:58:16]:
That's why there's a lot to learn. You know, I always tell with Mike and tolly, you know, totally has too much cautiousness, which Mike needs a little bit of it. And Mike has a lot of being bold and just, like, diving in and totally needs a little bit of that push. So I think, like, you know, people can compliment one another with those things for sure, so.

Phillip [01:58:36]:
Yeah. And I think you guys being challenging, but also being honest and coming from a good place again, some people can do it.

Eldar [01:58:43]:
How do you know we're coming from a good place? You just have this feeling.

Anatoliy [01:58:46]:
I was gonna make a joke before, but it might be messed up.

Eldar [01:58:50]:
It'll be messed up around there what? It might be messed up on there.

Anatoliy [01:58:53]:
Make a joke, but it might be evil.

Phillip [01:58:56]:
I mean, you can let me have it if you want, but I would say. I would judge it from. Yeah, there is a feeling, but also there is a result. Right?

Eldar [01:59:06]:
So there's no result. Yeah. I mean, to you, maybe it is that you. You kind of, like, maybe awaken to it, but the result will have to be in particular actions for you to actually open up and become a new person who actually fully enjoys himself. Right. That's gonna be the ultimate result.

Phillip [01:59:20]:
So I'm looking at, like, a small win in a span of, like, two weeks, right? Like.

Eldar [01:59:24]:
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Phillip [01:59:24]:
I'm looking at small wins just like, right now from, like, where I was two weeks ago and just like, where I was interacting, where, like, my social interaction level was with, like, people on a day to day basis to where it is now. Like, I feel like myself again.

Eldar [01:59:36]:
Oh, you know?

Phillip [01:59:37]:
You know what I'm saying? So that's my. That's my measure. So, like, my small measure is that, like, yes, on a bigger scale.

Eldar [01:59:45]:
And see, like, I'm not in your head to even, like, see that so that you sharing it. It's. I mean, it's music to my ears.

Phillip [01:59:51]:
Oh, yeah. Like that. So that.

Anatoliy [01:59:52]:
That's definitely, like a cartoon of, like, Philip walking around with, like, tom for bows and just spraying. Everybody gotta spray for you.

Eldar [01:59:58]:
Spray for, you know, just like he's prancing around and just spraying things in the air, making everybody feel good.

Anatoliy [02:00:04]:
Yeah, you smell good. And you smell good.

Eldar [02:00:07]:
There goes your TikTok, bro.

Phillip [02:00:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:00:10]:
Wake up in the morning, at three in the morning at his building and just stay. Open the door and spray everybody.

Phillip [02:00:17]:
Yeah. But, yeah. Me at my happiness. I do like interacting with people and I don't want to be in a show. Yes. Connecting with people is great. Do I like to avoid the shitty parts of it? But I hear what you guys are saying. It's.

Phillip [02:00:31]:
There might be something there where just because I created these rules for myself, that's working, it might be temporary. I definitely.

Eldar [02:00:37]:
I definitely hear that it might work for you if you want to be the cat lady with a lot of cats and no relationship. I guess if you want to be like you said, hey, I would like to fall in love one day and experience that. I think it's inevitable for you to see, to open that chest and actually, you know.

Phillip [02:00:50]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:00:51]:
What's a perfume sprayer? The perfume sprayer? Yeah. You have to open it up.

Mike [02:00:54]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:00:55]:
So, got a flash.

Phillip [02:00:56]:
The world.

Eldar [02:00:57]:
Yeah. No, for sure. For sure.

Phillip [02:00:59]:
I get that.

Eldar [02:01:00]:
Good.

Mike [02:01:00]:
I'm glad.

Eldar [02:01:01]:
I'm glad that you, you know, you already shared, already seeing benefits. That's great.

Phillip [02:01:04]:
Mm hmm.

Eldar [02:01:04]:
You know, you've been open about it. That's pretty fucked up, to be honest. I mean, this testimonials much.

Mike [02:01:09]:
It's very bad for whoever's editing this audio. Fun.

Anatoliy [02:01:12]:
The issue is that, like, there's no camera and they can't see, like, the money that you're slipping.

Eldar [02:01:18]:
Oh. So to make him say the things that you.

Phillip [02:01:20]:
Mike did give me an apple watch day. So that's. I mean, like.

Eldar [02:01:23]:
Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, so I could, this could actually have some mud flaps for you.

Mike [02:01:30]:
For your car, too.

Phillip [02:01:31]:
This could be a paid advertisement by Tesla and Apple.

Eldar [02:01:37]:
Yeah, this is true. Yeah, man. So I think. I think we did really good on this.

Phillip [02:01:47]:
I like that it's a calculated approach to something that people look at, like this, like, outside thing or like nobody understand. I like putting it into a one, two, three, calculated, logical.

Eldar [02:01:59]:
Within those one, two, three, there's a hundred probably.

Phillip [02:02:01]:
Oh, yeah.

Eldar [02:02:02]:
Branches. But. But for the sake of kind of give people direction as to, like, hey, look, if you really not comfortable in your own skin, that's a sign. Stay away from relationships. You should be criminal.

Phillip [02:02:13]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:02:14]:
You know?

Phillip [02:02:14]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:02:15]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:02:15]:
But that's a nice realization to have because you can say to yourself, just because I'm not ready, I can be working towards that hundred percent. So it's a nice place to be where you don't have to. It's not like, it's not extreme.

Eldar [02:02:26]:
It's not.

Phillip [02:02:27]:
I'm sitting on the sideline.

Eldar [02:02:28]:
I think what you're accomplishing from being able to say that in the first place to yourself is humbling yourself.

Phillip [02:02:33]:
Yes.

Eldar [02:02:33]:
Because a lot of people like, I'm ready. I'm ready. You know? What do you mean? Like, I deserve love, right? I deserve love. No, you fucking don't. You know what I mean? You don't deserve shit. You know what I mean? Because you a piece of shit inside. You know what I mean? But like, this experience, to be able to say, hey, I understand my flaws because of some, at least this. If I agree with this, if I'm a people, please, I'm not gonna have a good relationship.

Eldar [02:02:51]:
If you say that to yourself, that's humbling, that's lowering your ego and your pride, understanding where you stand. And now, you know, direction, you know where to go and what to work on and. And that's great if you want to just ask Eldar. Oh, elders just sign up for elders.

Mike [02:03:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:03:07]:
Yeah. So, good. Good. Anything else?

Mike [02:03:12]:
No.

Eldar [02:03:14]:
I think next time, we can talk about the actual. The actual meat and potatoes behind that, which we have to, you know, I think, on an individual basis, being able to present your dream, your desire, your picture of that good life to the other individual is super important as well. Right. During the interaction. Enough during the interaction.

Mike [02:03:38]:
Again, what is your dream?

Eldar [02:03:39]:
What is your goal? Like, you know what I mean? Like, being able to say, like, yo, I want, you know, like, I'm passionate about cats. I want to be able to have an extra room, to be able to have Jaguar or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, that's extremely important because that's. That that paints the picture of who you really are and who you really want to be. So if a person really hears it and wants to fuck with that kind of ideology and wants to. To be that, then, you know, like, holy shit. Like, you know, I was myself. I was out there.

Eldar [02:04:03]:
They understood me, and they want to journey with me, you know what I mean about them, and hopefully they can tell you their stuff, and you're like, yeah, sure, you know, and now that's when the sparks fly, I think, you know, when you actually can. Can express that. So I think next thing we could talk about, next time we could talk about is how to actually come up with this type of dream or.

Phillip [02:04:22]:
So you're basically your vision and conveying that, you know, to another person in conversation and not being afraid of what's coming back 100%. Yeah.

Eldar [02:04:31]:
Especially because life has problems. Right. How is your dream. How is your vision gonna try to solve or avoid. Prevent those types of problems? Right. So I like it. You know, I think that's. I think that's big, you know, like, again, you know, you have to be able to like your stuff, and, you know, if you like your stuff, you definitely have some kind of vision on how you want to live and continue to live.

Eldar [02:04:55]:
So now expressing that vision, that understanding. Right. So somebody who can get you and understand your journey. Journey with you, you know. Yeah, it's super important. Yeah.

Anatoliy [02:05:04]:
I feel like, also, a lot of these, like, steps and things, like. Like, metaphorically, they're like a. Like a Rubik's cube. Like, you know, if you get one side wrong, the other one's all, like, correct.

Eldar [02:05:17]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [02:05:17]:
Like, it's still wrong.

Eldar [02:05:18]:
It's still wrong.

Anatoliy [02:05:19]:
Like, the lineup of everything, like, together.

Eldar [02:05:22]:
You don't have to say, it's not that complicated, bro. You should try and discourage people from even starting because Rubik's cubes hard.

Anatoliy [02:05:29]:
Trust me, I don't have to discourage them from starting. They already discourage themselves.

Eldar [02:05:32]:
They already discourage themselves. Yeah. No, for sure. I agree. I agree. It could be like that because, you know. Yeah. If you misstep somewhere or you hit somewhere where you actually get really, really angry, you know.

Anatoliy [02:05:43]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:05:43]:
And you. You introduce yourself to somebody and then that comes out. Oh, that can ruin your relationship.

Anatoliy [02:05:49]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:05:50]:
Because you've never uncovered that or you never, you know, fixed it.

Anatoliy [02:05:54]:
Yeah. The aligning of those.

Eldar [02:05:56]:
All those things. Yeah. The stars have to kind of align for you on a personal level, for sure.

Anatoliy [02:06:01]:
Does arch look like a sewing right now? Like from.

Mike [02:06:05]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:06:06]:
Right.

Eldar [02:06:07]:
Phillips. What's your verdict? Aren't you gonna be a human next life?

Phillip [02:06:10]:
Oh, yeah, 100%.

Eldar [02:06:11]:
Right.

Phillip [02:06:11]:
The eyes you see.

Eldar [02:06:12]:
Right.

Phillip [02:06:13]:
I always thought that he didn't look up. And now that you pointed it out, now I'm more aware of it because I couldn't see because of the visor haircut. But he's very, very observant.

Eldar [02:06:21]:
When we give him a haircut, like, complete haircut, you're gonna be like, holy shit, aren't you?

Phillip [02:06:25]:
You cut the top we caught.

Eldar [02:06:26]:
Yeah. Sometimes we call, like, this top over here and, like, his eyes are, like, piercing.

Phillip [02:06:30]:
I noticed how he looks at you, like, when he. When he looked up and now I noticed that he is always looking. I just can't see it.

Eldar [02:06:36]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [02:06:36]:
My whole family always said that, like, yo, his eyes are very human.

Phillip [02:06:41]:
Yeah, very, very human.

Eldar [02:06:42]:
Right, Archie? Yeah. His previous life is like, all right, cool, I'm gonna be a servant. You know what I mean? I'm a calm down a little bit, you know, the next one, you think he'll find this fuck shit up? He finds us every time.

Phillip [02:06:54]:
No question.

Eldar [02:06:55]:
No question about it. Yeah. So, any final thoughts, Mike? This was dedicated almost to you and. Whoa. And it was. It came because of you, you know, you constantly. This is a sick. I love talking about it, obviously, you know, we have a live, live guinea pig.

Mike [02:07:13]:
Yes. Or, you know, I'm glad that I'm the guinea pig.

Eldar [02:07:16]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:07:17]:
A lot of help.

Eldar [02:07:18]:
Yeah. For sure.

Mike [02:07:18]:
I definitely will say that. Yeah. It's something that I wanted for a long time, something that I. Yeah. You know, I was, I guess, I don't know. Yeah. Had some experience with it a long time ago, and I always wanted. Been wanting to get back to that, you know, and have it consistently.

Mike [02:07:31]:
And have it consistently, but I was never able to. But now I think I'm actually trying to. Yeah. Give it a good crack.

Eldar [02:07:37]:
Good crack. Yeah. No, for sure.

Mike [02:07:39]:
So, I mean, this is exciting. For sure. And I can't even imagine, you know?

Eldar [02:07:44]:
Yeah, man, me, too.

Mike [02:07:45]:
What's the company?

Eldar [02:07:46]:
Me, too. I can't. I can't wait.

Mike [02:07:47]:
So.

Eldar [02:07:48]:
I can't wait. It's gonna be sick.

Mike [02:07:50]:
For sure.

Eldar [02:07:51]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:07:52]:
So you coming tomorrow or.

Eldar [02:07:53]:
No, no. I have to love myself with this strange fellow.

Mike [02:07:58]:
I have to love myself by relaxing.

Phillip [02:08:00]:
With this new, profound love for yourself. Are you waking up tomorrow morning and coming on the ferry?

Eldar [02:08:06]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:08:07]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:08:07]:
Philip, what's your final thoughts?

Phillip [02:08:10]:
I definitely learned a lot about. I learned a lot your perception of me and how you think that. How I am when I'm out and just kind of reiterating that I know that I'm not there, but exactly why. And then opening up my mind to, I guess. I guess putting myself out there more instead of being so checklist and calculated.

Eldar [02:08:39]:
Yeah, let's. Yeah, let's try to keep your head outside of the philosophy bubble.

Phillip [02:08:43]:
Yes.

Mike [02:08:46]:
Because. Yeah, I'm aware of the thing that's happening.

Eldar [02:08:49]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:08:49]:
I also have a little bit of issue with it.

Eldar [02:08:51]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:08:52]:
So now I'm gonna have fun with it because I'm gonna be one hand bullying Phil.

Eldar [02:08:55]:
Yes.

Mike [02:08:55]:
But also bullying the person.

Eldar [02:08:56]:
Yes, that's right. So it's gonna be exciting. Listen, on that walk, I can't wait to go on.

Mike [02:09:02]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:09:03]:
So maybe not tomorrow because we're busy.

Mike [02:09:05]:
Yes.

Eldar [02:09:05]:
But one day I'm definitely joining. For sure, because I'm excited. That's cool. Now we're on the mission. Yeah, yeah, no, this was great. Thank you, Mike. Thank you, everybody. Totally.

Anatoliy [02:09:16]:
Yeah, no, I mean, I think we covered a lot of things. I mean, I'm not sure what.

Phillip [02:09:21]:
What.

Anatoliy [02:09:21]:
What exactly to add, but, yeah, I like the whole, like, simplification those things.

Eldar [02:09:27]:
Right. And.

Anatoliy [02:09:29]:
And I think the, like, it's all opposites. Like the prop. Like, I mean, like, the, like, the more is the simplification.

Eldar [02:09:38]:
And I think, like, yeah, that's what.

Mike [02:09:41]:
People need, a practical application of these things. Not like, you know.

Eldar [02:09:45]:
No, for sure. Yeah, no theory. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mike [02:09:49]:
You know, make it so that everybody can not have to read a fucking thousand page book to understand what the.

Eldar [02:09:54]:
Fuck we're talking about.

Mike [02:09:55]:
Trying to deliver in a simple form.

Eldar [02:09:58]:
Definitely. All right, cool. Thank you, guys.

Mike [02:10:00]:
Thank you.

Eldar [02:10:01]:
Great, man.