Dennis Rox
Empowering Choices in Love and Life with Conscious Self-Reflection
Have a question? Ask us and we will discuss it during the next episode.
When the laughter from my dog Penny's antics subsided, I realized the profound love and dedication she mirrored are the very essence of what makes relationships thrive. This week's heartfelt journey into love and relationships reveals that a successful partnership is less about finding the perfect person and more about nurturing a deep connection through self-awareness and mutual growth. With personal tales and vibrant dialogue, we dissect the layers of companionship, from the complexities of compatibility to the importance of embracing imperfections.
Surrounded by the wisdom of our insightful guests, we peel back the curtain on the attributes that construct the foundation of lasting relationships. We look at how persistence, character, and a clear trajectory for the future can transform the bonds we share with both our human and canine companions. Each anecdote shared becomes a stepping stone towards understanding the intricate dance of give and take in love, illustrating the transformative power of entering relationships with the intent to contribute and grow together.
As the episode wraps, we cast a light on the intersection of human interactions and self-understanding, musing on the paradoxical nature of emotions that both connect and challenge us. Whether contemplating the potential of an 'emotional chip' to manage our attachments or embracing the power of choice in our happiness, we leave no stone unturned. Join us as we navigate the complexities of identity, authenticity, and the role of self-awareness in empowering the choices that define our lives and relationships.
we on X
Have a question? Ask us and we will discuss it during the next episode.
When the laughter from my dog Penny's antics subsided, I realized the profound love and dedication she mirrored are the very essence of what makes relationships thrive. This week's heartfelt journey into love and relationships reveals that a successful partnership is less about finding the perfect person and more about nurturing a deep connection through self-awareness and mutual growth. With personal tales and vibrant dialogue, we dissect the layers of companionship, from the complexities of compatibility to the importance of embracing imperfections.
Surrounded by the wisdom of our insightful guests, we peel back the curtain on the attributes that construct the foundation of lasting relationships. We look at how persistence, character, and a clear trajectory for the future can transform the bonds we share with both our human and canine companions. Each anecdote shared becomes a stepping stone towards understanding the intricate dance of give and take in love, illustrating the transformative power of entering relationships with the intent to contribute and grow together.
As the episode wraps, we cast a light on the intersection of human interactions and self-understanding, musing on the paradoxical nature of emotions that both connect and challenge us. Whether contemplating the potential of an 'emotional chip' to manage our attachments or embracing the power of choice in our happiness, we leave no stone unturned. Join us as we navigate the complexities of identity, authenticity, and the role of self-awareness in empowering the choices that define our lives and relationships.
we on X
On this week's episode, when I have something to give versus I'm going to get into a relationship because I want something.
Ivanna:Because I need to take. I consider attitude as a form of energy, so what does that mean? It's like it cannot be created nor destroyed, so then it's continuous Excuse me Wait, can I be Bring out?
Katherine:the crystals.
Mike:Oh shit.
Eldar:All right, guys. Well, today's one of our favorite topics probably that surrounds around love, right, but more so on the intricate details about being in a relationship and what are some of the requirements for people to be in a relationship, but with the kicker of for long term, meaning for life, right, marriage which is not obviously ending with divorce, right, but more so a prolonged, hopefully till death, do us part kind of thing. You know what are some of those requirements, and then we would like to tie in. How does awareness of yourself, of reality of the world, play a factor in this as well? Right, mike, did I do this right? Yeah, yeah, alright. So start us off, mike. Why do you think this is so important? To know what's rubbing you the wrong way, what's eating Gilbert's grapes, you know?
Mike:You know that movie still right.
Phillip:When Eldar says any popular American phrase, it sounds, so un-American it sounds so much fun. He says. It's like somebody just came off the boat and just learned what America is.
Eldar:And then you just start saying all the popular phrases about what America is.
Ivanna:Listen if.
Phillip:Joe was here he'd appreciate this.
Eldar:He's been listening to this for a while.
Phillip:It's perfect yeah it's fine, do you know? I'm talking about Gilbert's Grapes. Listen, do you?
Eldar:know Gilbert's Grapes. I heard about Gilbert's Grapes.
Katherine:But it's not the way he said. It Never like that right.
Eldar:This is the original movie about like autism and like you know him what's eating Gilbert's grape?
Phillip:Yeah, is it?
Eldar:One. Yeah, no, no, s Fine.
Toliy:I believe it. Wait, gilbert had one grape. Yeah, I think it's his name.
Phillip:Gilbert Grape, I think is his name. If there were underlying conditions, maybe he had grapes. There was multiple conditions, yeah, but I think it's his name.
Eldar:Gilbert Grape yeah, but we make it. What's Eating, gilbert's Grapes? You?
Phillip:know what I mean. That's the Russian version.
Katherine:That's the Russian version. That's the elders cut.
Eldar:Yeah. So, mike, what's eating at you? What sparked you to talk about again going back to relationships and love and stuff like that, which I always like? Obviously, this is one of my favorite rough.
Mike:What sparked it? I mean something that I've been thinking about for a while. Yeah, you know, something that I wanted to be part of my life. So, um, I took some time off from that. Okay, you know, past couple years, yeah, I was busy, I mean, I didn't. I don't think I took off from time from it, but I guess, from uh looking for love or, you know, trying to get into a relationship, but more like self love. Yeah, I focused on that, okay, and I, you know, and I think, naturally, you know, as you work on yourself and you want to share love yourself and you treat yourself right, you also want to share that with somebody else. So that that's just what I've been thinking about recently.
Eldar:Okay, you know, and I'd like to, you know, I'd like to give it another crack, but I don't want to land uh face down in the mud again, you know I mean, you pose a very important question here because, uh, in the statement you're trying to get into a relationship again, but now it sounds like you want to get into the final relationship, yeah, and that's like maybe it can be scary, intimidating it can be. Uh, so many things could be beautiful, obviously right, but ultimately that's like maybe can be scary, intimidating they can be. Uh, so many things could be beautiful, obviously right, but ultimately that's what you're asking, like, hey, how do I do this? But do it right, right, and obviously doing something right. If you're doing it right, you probably want this right to extend for a long period of time, right, yeah, um, and obviously we can relate on so many different things that we do in life that we're trying to do it right so it can last, just past past, just maybe the honeymoon stage, right, because obviously a lot of people get into relationships, right, and Philip can talk about this a lot Right, get into relationships where I'm going to tie this in.
Eldar:Get into relationships where you know it's mostly about looks physical, like the first initial honeymoon stage, where everything's so beautiful, everything's so great, we're relating on music and movies and all this other stuff, right, and then, after everything's said and done, you realize they're like, oh, I actually don't fuck with this person anymore, or I don't really fuck with them the way I thought I did, because you see the intricate details behind what this person's really about. So, yeah, how do you do that? What are some important things to consider? What attitude should you bring in in order to really make this a sustainable thing? You know what? I'm going to have to bring an example of Penny, our dog, right as you can see what's happening right now. Baby, if you pay close attention, look what she's doing right now All right, her arms over Archie's head.
Eldar:This is a very beautiful. Take a picture of it if you can, ivana. I got it, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to bring one example of. Maybe, mike, this will help when it comes to coming into a relationship with this particular quality that Penny has, right.
Ivanna:Suffocating.
Eldar:Yes, it's something along those lines, right, it's number one persistence and number two. I think going's something along those lines. Right, it's number one persistence and number two, I think, going after what you actually want, right, Persistence. You see Penny's persistence. She don't care, right, she's getting hers. Yeah, she's getting hers. And I think that a while ago, mike, when we used to watch Indian Bollywood movies, right, I admire those men that were going for these women, right, they remind me of noah from the notebook, right, and noah from the notebook was a persistent fucker. He didn't take no for an answer. You know what I mean? He was going to get his, and at any cost, right? Uh, and indian bali movies display this of indian men really chasing their women and really want this. Penny display display this is this is crazy that I'm talking about this example. And look what she fucking did, toli, you have to get up and see it from my angle, bro. It's probably the best ever. It's very good.
Katherine:The fact that he hasn't got up, because he just typically just grunts and leaves.
Eldar:Come on, you understand there's a lot of cute things that's happened before, like we should put his head on top of him, but this she's partially in half of my shoe, and then you understand this. Mike, this is a perfect example of like what I'm trying to say.
Katherine:No, that's the surprising part. An example of penny.
Eldar:Penny is that Indian Bollywood man. Mm-hmm, she came into our lives just to like she was crazy.
Phillip:But the important thing to note also is that penny knows exactly what she wants and she presents who she is at all times.
Phillip:This is what we're, so this is where I'm getting to so, for, uh, the human translation to me is like if you do know who you are and then you are leading with the conversation of um, you know, uh, deeper things about, like, who you are, the characteristics of what that person are, versus the ones where it's like how do you look, what type of movie you like, what's your favorite color? All the bullshit stuff.
Ivanna:Yeah, she's not leading with that. She's saying, hey, this is what I am.
Phillip:Here's my heart, this is what I like, this is what I want, and she's literally getting him to do everything that he, that she, wants. That's right.
Eldar:All the wins every time. I agree, I agree, and I think that's a a great display of persistence, right? I think that we need in relationships sometimes, especially if we have a good agenda. I think that penny's agenda is to love, to be loved and be cute and all this other stuff, and I think she's winning. She won everybody over. I think you know what I mean, and she continues to win over some people, especially me. When she first came in, I was like I don't like this dog, this dog. You know, those were my actual feelings, you know. But as I started to observe her, and I started giving her a chance.
Eldar:It was pretty obvious. Yeah, she grew on me like crazy and I love her as much as I love Archie, if not more, sometimes. You know what I mean, because there's so many more funny moments with her. Now Do I get points for loving her the most from the beginning or no, because you are ignorantly loving her? Oh yeah, we can talk about that later. Let me say this.
Toliy:Philip's going home. Yes, what is happening?
Eldar:So, yes, what I'm saying is that that persistence and strong character I think is necessary. It's one of those things that I think you should bring into a relationship where, if you actually know that your intentions are good and you know what you want because then you almost overpower the individual with that uh, maybe that dream, right, babe? Uh, maybe you felt that same way about me, because I also came in very strong and I said, babe, this is what it's gonna be, this is what I'm about, and you have no choice in the matter.
Katherine:Yeah, it was like that. It was he. You were like a strong driving force and for me, someone who was very walled up and very closed off and not trusting, I think it's the only way that it would have worked out, Cause if you were, A simp Like Andrew. Tate, who is that?
Katherine:The king simp no but if you would have came through with like a different, you know, if you were just more chill, more laid back, it just wouldn't have worked you know, and I feel like you really pushed and guided and you allowed me to like, feel like safe and that I can trust, like I just felt that I could trust you. So if had it been any other way, we wouldn't be here.
Eldar:Okay.
Katherine:I don't think so.
Eldar:All right, that's one. Yeah, that's one big one. Persistence, you know, and believing in yourself, right, and kind of overpowering the other individual. Especially if you are on one end, where I was confident and I believed the dream and she was not, she's like I'm scared, I don't know what relationships are. This is scary, you know what I mean, like doubtful and stuff like that. So one person you know, almost like convinced them right, sells them on their dream. You have to be a salesman, almost right. No, no.
Katherine:But you, you know, you, you can't like confidence. Yeah, like confidence.
Eldar:Yeah.
Katherine:You're very confident.
Eldar:Yeah.
Katherine:You were very confident back then.
Eldar:Yeah.
Katherine:Um, I think that's a huge, that's a huge driving factor because you, you, you know who you are.
Eldar:No, I'm saying you see the watch I'm wearing I started it with your.
Katherine:you're a very confident person, but even back then, you, you, you were still very confident, and it's important because you know exactly where you stand you know, what you want, you know. Like you know exactly how, like how, to navigate the situation. You know.
Phillip:I saw a button down shirt with a. It was like a John. Travolta type situation with like a suit that you had on the picture that you showed me with Kat.
Katherine:Yeah, that's a while ago, 10 years ago. The way that he was dressing was like a oh, he's had a wedding, do I have a? He might have been. Yes, yeah, it's a wedding.
Phillip:Like the way that he dressed in. That was like that's type of confidence.
Eldar:You have to keep yeah, you have to keep him in line. You know that's the type of shit. You carry a briefcase around. You can be like a hitman on the side. That was Sherry's wedding.
Phillip:That was very like Italian. Listen for the record she probably dressed me that day and she continues to dress me.
Eldar:Oh yeah, so she knows what's in.
Phillip:She knew what was in back then. That's a good picture.
Eldar:Yeah, so that's one. Hopefully that helps, Toli. You have anything? What should you carry or bring into a relationship?
Toliy:Especially if you want one to be long-lasting and long-term. Yeah, I mean, I think that you Not that you need to be like a like a complete product or like a complete person, but I think there's like a lot of different things that you like, like a lot of different bases that you need to to cover um before you get into one.
Eldar:that'll be a successful okay, you know, give me, give me one big one. Well like I.
Toliy:I don't view this like a thing as as as like uh, this is what you need to do, like before, like well, there has to be an attribute.
Toliy:I'm looking for an attribute yeah, well, well, I mean I think it's all of the attributes that make up a good person. Right, like you have to be okay, um, respectful. Right like you have to be considerate, you have to be compassionate. I mean you have to know what you're doing, you need to have a sense of direction, you have to be like firm. Where you need to be firm, but also like open-minded, you need to have probably a very good attitude.
Toliy:I think that those are all the things, and when I see you as a person, I don't think that, okay, you're good at having a relationship. I think that you're good at being a particular type of person which I think so happens to also carry all the things necessary to be in a relationship. So I don't think it's like anything like that.
Eldar:So you got to be almost all around.
Ivanna:You have to be, it's a lot of factors, a lot of moving parts. How about?
Toliy:this the thing is that if you have a hole, then I think it'll be exposed probably. There's a lot of moving parts. How about this? If the thing is that, like, if you have a hole right, then I think it'll be like exposed probably.
Eldar:Yeah.
Toliy:Right, and I think eventually it'll just weigh everything else down that you might be good at.
Eldar:So that's a very good point, mike, that's a very good point, and I think, and I think that I think this speaks to the fact that one person at least has to have these attributes and be almost the leader in them. Otherwise, like you said, if there is a hole, something's going to get exploited and sooner or later, something's going to crumble.
Toliy:Yeah.
Eldar:Wow.
Toliy:Yeah, I think it's very hard and there is, I mean, the odds are probably against, like you know, pretty much almost everybody.
Toliy:I think it's very hard to put yourself in a position where you could have a successful one. So, oh, one big thing I think is also like attachment, right, like I think you're notoriously good at not having attachments, which I think is like when you're talking about a relationship. I think most people would use the word like attachments. Right, they have an attachment to something right when you're kind of, you know, you're willing to put everything in the line at any moment, like if, if necessary, and I think doing that allows you to have like a level headedness to to be more consistent, you know.
Eldar:One tested. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Ivanna:So I see what you guys are saying and I understand where everyone is coming from, but what I'm hearing often is what can I do for the other person? Who can I be for the other person? But I'm not hearing enough of what can I be or who can I be as an individual in order to be the best person I can possibly be.
Toliy:Who's saying to be for the other? Like everything I was just listening was what you need to be. I'm saying for yourself, for yourself.
Ivanna:For yourself, not for the other person, absolutely not. So not being attached and not having all those specific qualities you need to be compassionate.
Toliy:You need to be considerate, you need to be respectful if you want to get into a good relationship.
Ivanna:Right, so you need to have a great sense of understanding of who you are. Right so self-awareness and being ultimately the person that you want to be with.
Eldar:That word self-awareness, ivana correct.
Ivanna:I think oftentimes we say, or hey, I want to be this person for this person, but we don't ask ourselves what do I need as an individual in order to be okay?
Toliy:Yeah, I don't think that you can ever be successful in a relationship if there's something that you're doing for somebody else and not for yourself, right, I think by you filling your own cup and you doing what you need to do for yourself, you're going to be able to radiate those attributes just naturally to others, right? So if you're respectful for yourself and you value that, you're probably going to be very respectful, for example, to others, or if you're considerate towards your own feelings.
Toliy:You're probably going to be very considerate towards others' feelings, just naturally, if you're very developed in that field.
Ivanna:Right. And how do you continue to do that long-term without losing sight of yourself? So being able to say no to your significant other when you absolutely can't like understanding that you have to get to that yoga class or the spin class in order to fill your own cup instead of being at home with your partner for dinner, because that's what they specifically like. So being able to say no as well, to be able to say okay, this is what I need to do in order to be happy.
Eldar:Respect themselves.
Toliy:Right yeah, respect yourself. I feel like the way that Ivana is talking right now and looks at the same time. I feel like when I go to like a doctor's office and someone's like, please take a seat over there. Yeah, at the same time, I feel like when I go to a doctor's office and someone's like please take a seat over there and they hand me over a clipboard.
Ivanna:Sit down and shut up.
Toliy:It's like 15 pages in it. They start asking me crazy life-threatening questions like hey, have you had a headache in the last?
Katherine:48 hours have any of these symptoms occurred, because you're intimidating Whatever you just I want half of it.
Ivanna:We're just getting started. Yeah, I want half. Yes.
Katherine:Because it's only getting ready.
Eldar:Well, yeah, I think that. Yeah, no, ivana, I think, yeah, we're definitely talking about more. So what you're bringing into the relationship? Because we can't speak for the other person that's going to be in our lives. Let's just say Mike is looking for a relationship. We can't speak for who that's going to be our lives. Let's just say Mike is looking for a relationship. We can't speak for who that's going to be. You know what I mean, which qualities we want them to have. That's their conversation. Because it's almost like if we call ourselves the people who are thinking and thinkers or philosophers or psychologists or whatever, the burden's on us, the burden of proof is on us. All the truth is on us.
Katherine:Before we move from what she said, I wanted to tie in. You know, obviously everybody's really aware but, like my situation, where I felt like I was not well and I was lacking just a few years ago, before I started therapy, and not being well as an individual affected me and my relationship, you know. So, when you start focusing on yourself and loving yourself and and you know, just trying to be on yourself and loving yourself and you know, just trying to be better for yourself, it's going to be better for the relationship, for the marriage, you know. So. You know I went through that like I guess, like I feel like I have a personal, you know, almost experience with that, and that's that's definitely good.
Eldar:However, um, at least one person has to still be on point in order for that to transpire. Without that, I'm not sure if you can go through the same experience that you went through and come out from the right end.
Katherine:No, it's true, because I had a lot of guidance and support. Correct, correct. I think that's where love comes in, right?
Eldar:I think that's where acceptance comes in, and I think we talked about this a lot because you know it's nice to maybe think about yeah, we're going to meet this right person that's going to check all our boxes, right. But the truth of the matter is that doesn't work and it doesn't happen. And, at the end of the day, I think part of being in a loving relationship or truly loving someone, is to be able to accept probably the worst things about them, right? Not saying that you have to accept them and eat them and eat shit all the time. What I'm saying is that accept them to a point where you have enough patience and understanding and compassion to withstand the storm that's coming your way, and that's the thing. That's what you're appreciating me.
Eldar:Yes, absolutely 100 you know what I'm saying, mike.
Mike:We talked about this well, we talked about this, yeah, yeah, I think, and that's probably one of those important things to understand about relationships, and I guess the severity of what you're committing to, yeah, I guess not severity, not in a bad way, but like so you don't take it light a lot of people take a huge responsibility, yeah if you commit to this person that you're going to see this thing through, yeah, for for your life.
Mike:Yeah, you, you. Most people don't understand the magnitude of it. Now I'm only understanding it because I've started applying it to myself. What it looks like an examined life and now try to do it right by myself. It's hard as fuck. It's hard as fuck. Now imagine another person, let alone a stranger, that you start developing feelings for and caring for.
Eldar:You wish the best for them, but you know that it's not just the way you see it Well, imagine if everyone in the world changed their perspective of relationships and started looking at it as them. I'm only going to get into a relationship when I have something to give, versus I'm going to get into a relationship because I want something.
Katherine:Because I need to take.
Eldar:You understand that changes the whole dynamic. Yeah, yeah, because then you're like okay cool, what you understand that changes the whole dynamic. Yeah, yeah, right, because then you're like okay cool, what do I actually have to give? What are some qualities, what are some attributes that you have that are tangible, right, and it's like kindness, compassion, acceptance and all this other stuff that I can actually go in there, you know, and give out Versus. I want this, I want her to have this, I want her to have that.
Katherine:I was so young when I met you that if I had to sit there and calculate, do I have this? I don't know if I would have felt like I had what it takes to be in a relationship like this.
Eldar:Well, that's why I think that one side at least has to have a very sober mindset and understand what actually is going to take. You just got lucky.
Katherine:I found you A diamond in the rough, so what's actually is going to take you just got lucky.
Phillip:I found you, hee hee, a diamond in the rough. So, ella, you described it and it was like in detail, and you were talking about a night when you met Kat. Yeah, when you were talking about like the actual love and it was like you described, like the intensity and you remember, like the responsibility coming as a result of it, like in those moments when you said it was very intense, you described it.
Eldar:The one intense moment that I really had is when we were laying down on the couch together.
Phillip:Yeah, you described this.
Eldar:This is probably day two or day three maybe, or whatever and we're just laying there, we're not talking much. We're not saying much it's because we're really enamored by each other. We're looking at each other in our eyes, or whatever. We, we're really enamored by each other. We're looking at each other in our eyes, or whatever. We're just staring at one another. I was like holy shit, this is happening. And then it came to me. It hit me so much. I felt almost her heartbeat, I felt my heartbeat. It was synchronizing and I was like yo, this is for real.
Phillip:And I shit, my pants.
Katherine:You were saying, in that moment you realized that the love.
Phillip:In that moment there was a responsibility attached to moving forward, because it was more than the relationship. It was love.
Eldar:It was love. It was a human being, it was me, it was her. This is for real. You know what I'm saying? It was for real, do?
Ivanna:you think a relationship is something that someone looks for or something that finds them?
Eldar:I mean, a lot of people look for it. Is it actually a relationship? I don't know, I don't know. The questions aren't hard. I don't know if you can like look for like a like.
Toliy:I feel like a relationship is formed right, you can look for maybe like a person, but like a person is just like a person. There's like a person is just like like a person. There's nothing like special or like anything like to to it. But I think a relationship can be formed with like a person.
Phillip:But but I think, uh, then there's. Then to me, there's the desire to have a relationship. So I think we're talking about cup being empty or cup being full. If I think it's a good indicator, if somebody does not have the desire to be in the relationship, their cup is probably pretty low, right? Would you say that?
Phillip:somebody with a full cup would not, uh, wouldn't they net? Now I'm not even talking about, uh, an intimate relationship with, like you know, being, you know, a boyfriend, girlfriend or husband, wife. I'm just talking about being around people and wanting to be around somebody to share themselves. I think a relationship I look at is like there's friendship, there's family, there's being with a partner. So I think to me, if you don't want to be like that, if you're somebody who wants to stay home, who does not want to interact with people on a day to day basis, I think that that person would probably not want, I guess.
Phillip:If you don't want to share, I guess, with somebody else, I would say that's a good indicator of your cup being low and you don't have the desire Like. For me, my example would be I was working from home and I was like oh, you know what I actually really like this, and I was like I like working from home, now I would say working with people I realized that I was in like a shell and the things that I would say maybe I didn't like about myself I wasn't working on and it was normal that I actually thought in that moment I did like to be at home because my cup was very, very low and I didn't want to put myself out there. I didn't want to be judged, I didn't want to be kind of ridiculed, I didn't want to, I guess, work on those things. So I think it's easier sometimes to be on your own, not want to be in a relationship.
Eldar:Yeah, but being under the wrong impression kind of exempts you from that. You know what I mean. Like because you were under the wrong impression, therefore, you were under assumption that you did not want to be in a relationship. The truth of the matter is you're thinking, being right now and you understanding that, like, look, I'm a human being, love, and anytime you want to buzz, you want to be around people. Yeah, that's just a natural flow of things and stuff like that you want to share, you want to relate, you want to enjoy, you know, and all those things are very social, like socially, um, social dynamic. It's a social dynamic that you need and you crave. You know what I mean. So those individuals who actually think that they don't need a relationship, or they don't want a relationship but they're not ready, it's just they're under the wrong impression for the moment.
Phillip:Okay. So at the end of the day, everybody wants a relationship. I think so.
Katherine:Yeah.
Eldar:Anybody? I think, yeah, I think so. Because If not, then you would be on the island, never shared anything, never did anything, never showed anyone anything right Like completely to yourself, and I don't know if I know many people that do this. So yeah, I guess when you're talking, even, even like einstein, who was completely buried in his work, right, for example, he, uh, he shared his work with the people yeah.
Phillip:So I would guess yeah, when you're talking about a relationship, then when you're talking about a true relationship where there is love, I think, um, if, if you grew up and you had different type of friendships and family and relationships that weren't true and they might have been surface level, they might have been, I guess, coming from different places that would, I guess, fall into the category of being under the wrong impression again. So if you did want a true relationship and it was coming from a place of examining truth, growing, respecting each other and having love as the foundation, then you're saying everybody would undoubtedly want this because we're all connected by this thing.
Eldar:Yeah, I think something innately in us is already pre-installed for us to go towards this and crave this.
Phillip:That was the thing we were talking about last podcast. I think it was that love that's bringing you back together, because we're all connected by this thing, correct?
Eldar:Yeah, yeah, okay. I think something about just like relating and being on the same page brings some kind of sort of comfort.
Phillip:Yeah, you know what I'm saying. That's why, when you do get comfort from those other things, I would get comfort from thinking that if I did have a similarity to somebody where we did like similar things, like music movies, there was a comfort in that For the moment and I did like it and I allowed that thing to put me in relationships. And then I got to the point where you were a cheap date.
Eldar:Yeah, it was very cheap, bro, you. All you needed to say is like you, like blue, me too, we're meant to be together, right? And then what would happen is the all you needed to relate is color, yeah, but the conclusions that you would draw?
Phillip:you would start to say that there was something about the person that was off or something about the relationship where it's.
Ivanna:You actually built it on the wrong foundation so it actually makes a lot of sense why it didn't work out, because you started with the surface level stuff and you didn't work on actually what mattered.
Katherine:Okay, so there you go, we're going back, for example, your values.
Eldar:This is why we go back to Mike's question. Original question. What are the things attributes, things like that that we're talking about? That's going to make these things last a long time hopefully forever, right, so till death, do us part well, we're doing it right now.
Phillip:We're asking questions to empower ourselves, right? That's what?
Eldar:yeah, we're trying to find out what are those things actually? Because mike is on this journey and wants love and wants to uh, you know fall in love and be loved. He wants to make sure that he's prepared enough to be able to sustain that for a long term.
Ivanna:So it comes down to fundamental values and what each individual would like to see in that other person.
Eldar:See, I'm not sure if it's what's for individual. I think it's more what's universal. Okay, because individually you like vanilla and I like chocolate, and this is not objective truth about how the universe works. What me and you both share is that when I let go of this, what happens?
Ivanna:It's going to fall.
Eldar:I agree with you. Look at this. You see this. This is a universal truth that me and you both understand, agree and share. What are those things in the relationship that we can also identify and then live by?
Ivanna:Okay, so, mike, what are some things that you fundamentally value?
Eldar:Objectively.
Mike:Well, going back to what Tully was saying, I think it's the stuff that you apply towards yourself. If you want to live like a virtuous life, you want to be a good person, a respectful, honest, kind, right, a lot more, just right. There's a lot more different words we can use to describe that kind of person. If you apply that towards yourself, you obviously want to apply that towards another person as well.
Ivanna:So do you have your top three.
Eldar:Top three To have in the other person or to have for yourself. For myself.
Ivanna:For myself?
Mike:No, I think it's. I mean, there's no top three. I think they're all connected. All the virtues are connected. Patience and honesty, they're connected. You know, I think all of them are just as equally as important.
Eldar:So then, how do you tune in to all of them at the same time, or at least one, so then you can be tuned in to others.
Mike:Well, to me, the thing that I was saying is about the awareness, awareness. Here we go. Awareness, focus, you know, like something that I realized, I guess. Hey, something that I guess I realized you know, is that obviously, the importance of loving yourself, self-love, but also realizing that there is no destination here. You know this, living an examine life is just a journey, you know, and when you realize that you, you need, you must I guess you were inherently, inherently you automatically probably start applying those virtues towards yourself as you journey. Life does that make sense.
Eldar:Uh, you would have to expand more on that and give us a kind of a better picture or examples like every single day.
Mike:It's moment to moment right and depending on their capacity to focus and to be aware. Yeah, is how good you can be towards yourself, okay. So if, if you choose to be, you know, unaware or ignorant that day, in that specific moment, that's on you. Okay. But if you have a focus and a desire to constantly live a better life, a happier life, I believe it's through that process of examining what you're doing and why you're doing it. Why yeah, why why?
Ivanna:do you believe this?
Mike:Yeah, because of what I went through and what I've experienced and what I've experienced, and what have you experienced?
Eldar:and what have you?
Mike:well, the life that I lived before, where I was very unhappy, always stressed out, yeah, right, always blaming others, like all the bad things that I used to do, yeah, and then, when I slowed down a little bit, yeah, and I was able to observe, you know, life okay and myself in it, okay, I realized that I'm imperfect and I have things to work on and probably forever we'll have things to work on. So that shows to me that I have to keep working at this. I want to keep working at this, obviously.
Eldar:But why? Why? So that I can live a good life. How is that tied to a good life? How does working on this continues to give you a good life? How did you conclude this? How did I conclude it? To a good life? How does what working on this continues to give you a good life? How do you? How'd you conclude this? How did I conclude it?
Mike:um, I guess experiencing in the moment doing the right thing right okay, and having good reasons to do it okay and then doing it, led me to being happy. But happiness not in just a sense of like oh, I'm very happy, yeah, more so like a virtuous happy, like I am happy that I did the right thing. I act in accordance with the truth, okay, you know, like I didn't disrespect myself, okay.
Eldar:You know. So you almost empowered yourself by seeing your belief system play out in real world Like what you believed in. You played it out, you acted it out Right, in accordance to the truth or whatever awareness that you were, and you saw the results. And the results made you feel good.
Mike:Yeah, absolutely, and that you call awareness. Awareness is probably a tool that I use. Awareness of this, awareness of this led me to this understanding and this belief. Okay, this is very interesting, yeah.
Ivanna:Life learning.
Mike:I understood that if I live the way that I, you know, esteem to live, that the universe in a way opens up to me and everything goes the way I want it to. And the times I don't that I'm dishonest with myself or I lie to myself or I cheat myself, that doesn't happen, I'm not happy, things don't go my way and this allows you to then take accountability for yourself and only yourself, and no longer can you point the finger at the external world.
Mike:Well, that's an obvious. But I'm not perfect, Of course you're not perfect. And I try to obviously apply that.
Eldar:Okay. So self-awareness carried through your everyday reality, if practiced, you then realize that, like it's either on you or you get exactly what you want out of life. So that's the superpower that's the answer right here.
Mike:The awareness is in a sense of yeah, for sure, it's a huge superpower.
Eldar:Okay.
Mike:Because with the awareness, it carries a lot of other stuff.
Eldar:Give us an example, then, of this awareness. Give us an example of when you practice like a real life example.
Mike:A real life example. I can give you an example where it didn't work out.
Eldar:Okay, sure sure, we can start on those, you know.
Mike:Like I come into a situation and I engage in a conversation with Toli right, where I'm not aware of what's happening yeah, right. And on top of not being aware, I'm definitely not focused because I'm doing something else. Okay, right, yeah. So I'm not aware, I'm not focused. I get into an engagement where, you know, things don't go my way. I ended up feeling like an idiot.
Eldar:Okay, you know, because, rightfully so you were an idiot, rightfully so, because I was behaving like an idiot. Yeah, okay.
Mike:And an idiot is going to blame. Oh, like, totally, he's a dickhead, he's an asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's what he did. Okay, but then, when the time had, you know, I had time to sit down and and then be mad that everybody's in sneakers. Right, it's you. You're the person who didn't come prepared with the right tools in order to do what you're about to do. If you got too excited, that's your fault. If you weren't prepared, your fault. You're not focused, your fault. And I think that's super important to always know that everything that happens in your life, it's your fault. But that's the negative side of it. But if you understand, everything that happens in your life, it's also your own control. Wow, you're also empowered. That's that's crazy.
Eldar:That's a superpower. It's a superpower.
Mike:Yeah, that means you're the creator of your own reality, 100%, if you're aware enough, humble enough and all those things.
Eldar:Enough, yeah, to see actually what the situation is, you have the ability to get exactly what you want every single time out of the situation, because you're completely in control of it.
Mike:Yeah, you're able to play, be a fortune teller, be like yo. How I feel right now? Yeah, am I going to be stupid? Okay, go ahead, go do it. You're going to have a stupid outcome? Yeah, but if you say, okay, I'm about to engage in this, in this, how do I feel? Am I ready? Am I focused? Am I aware, or am I tired and getting up sleep, I'm exhausted, I'm already stressed out, blah, blah, blah. All bunch of different things that are already taken away from how I feel in the moment. Yeah, you know, then I'm not gonna go and I already won there. Like that's the way I look at it. Yeah, knowing yourself, knowing your strengths and your capabilities, and that every single moment allows you to create create and control your reality.
Eldar:Yeah, how does everybody feel about this? This is pretty serious stuff.
Phillip:For the record, Mike was not pursuing it totally as a love interest, correct?
Eldar:No, he wasn't, he was a friend. And Phillip, yes, phillip.
Katherine:I was kind of confused. I was kind of expecting like a love.
Phillip:It didn't work out.
Mike:And I then I hear totally, and I'm like, oh, wait, like oh no but like how sexy is he and like how much they love each other and I'm like I don't know. Yeah, no, I mean my first relationship and this is not.
Eldar:We're not talking about law of attraction either here.
Phillip:If that's the book you're reading yeah, I'm like, my mind is like whoa, where's like what's going on?
Mike:yeah, all right that was the most recent example, but obviously a lot of times, you know, I mean, this is a very like general thing, but in my first relationship, uh, I always blame the other person yeah for doing wrong by you yeah, but not realizing I'm doing wrong by myself. Yeah, and that person's just acting and like yo, I'm like yo come over here and you know shit on me. Yeah, not physically, but mentally.
Eldar:You know, yeah yo, with physically shitting on you be less painful than emotionally. I would prefer that you take this right.
Phillip:I'm not even asking for the direction of this conversation to go this way, but as I'm sitting back, I'm learning that the less that I'm doing the more I'm actually getting what I want.
Eldar:If you were to describe an ear orgasm, this is what you're having now.
Phillip:Right now, where I'm at, the possibilities are endless yeah, the eargasm is very, very sounds good.
Eldar:Hashtag eargasm, son.
Mike:I love it all right, mike, keep giving it to him. Yeah, so I'm saying I was a lot long time. I was upset, angry with that person.
Phillip:Nobody, nobody's ever said a lot long time ever. Yeah.
Katherine:You understand? That's not even a real saying yeah.
Mike:I'm doing the Charles Ramsey thing, yeah.
Ivanna:Dave.
Katherine:Ramsey actually what was?
Ivanna:it Dave Ramsey. Oh fine, no, that's a different guy. Yeah, that's a different guy.
Mike:We only know Charles Ramsey we met ignorant.
Eldar:Yeah, uh-huh, I love it.
Mike:So for a long time I blamed that other person, yeah, for the way that my relationship or I'm not sure what it was, but it played out. You know, instead of taking responsibility, that, yeah, if I show the person like yo, I could treat myself like a piece of shit. That means you could treat yourself like a piece of shit. I mean, it means you could treat me like a piece of shit. Yeah, that's the energy that was given out. Yeah, and I never took responsibility for it.
Eldar:Well, listen, you're talking about all the good stuff, all the secrets in the world, as they say, self-empowerment and being able to control your reality and being almost for the lack of a better word to be God In your own life, in your own world. So, if you're able to understand this, embody this and and live this out, you really have nothing to lose. Right and like you really are, just like fucking enlightened in those moments.
Mike:Yeah, yeah, it is like a sense of being able to tap into that highest, I guess, yeah, capacity we have as humans, yeah, which I think is to live a virtuous life, live in accordance with the truth. Yeah, you know, that's where that separates, like I don't know how to explain it, but that is separates outside of us in a way like the human. We're human, obviously, but that supersedes us where it's like greater than you know and we can just like, in a way, tap into it. I guess, if you want to call it that, I'm having a hard time.
Eldar:No, I get it. I get it. Does anybody have any problems with this argument?
Mike:I mean cuz does, yeah, cuz.
Ivanna:You in agreeance with this. In hindsight, you're grateful for the moments that someone has pooped on you.
Mike:Yes, for sure. That's exactly why I didn't want to say yeah out loud, yeah no, you learned from those mistakes 100% it totally doesn't have a problem with this.
Phillip:I'd be shocked.
Katherine:I mean Mike it's a great thing. I mean, life has lessons, you know ideally, you would learn from them.
Phillip:There's something wrong in this.
Toliy:You don't have a flaw in this or not, what I can't hear, Sorry and what Like.
Eldar:Exactly yeah you have a problem. He's saying that you have a problem with this Somewhere. You have some kind of a problem with this. With what, mike?
Phillip:is saying Everything he said. You agree 100%.
Eldar:You agree with this. You call sign this, or what?
Toliy:I'd love it if you said yes, yeah, I mean, I don't remember anything that was said, that was.
Eldar:That was incorrect. Yeah, yes, you see. So what? The whole panel doesn't have a problem with this. Let me try to find a problem, okay.
Toliy:But, but, but. But like what? What do we try to find a problem in? Like the?
Eldar:In awareness and that the fact that awareness actually equals to a godly-like feature in humans.
Toliy:Well, well, I mean I don't know if it's just awareness.
Eldar:I think you have to have like a guided Well, yeah, let's just say that awareness of the situation, but also you have yes, you have the ability to also then navigate which way you want to go left or right, kind of thing, Sure.
Toliy:Yeah, I think awareness is like a baseline for giving you like a chance, correct?
Eldar:Do you want to go left or you want to go right, giving you like a chance, correct right. Do you want to?
Toliy:go left or you want to go right. Yeah, yeah, you have a choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that, like, if you can have um a good amount of awareness, you have a chance choice yeah, well, no, no, I'm saying like a chance as in, like like you have a chance to figure shit out, or choice, well, yeah, then, eventually, like within the awareness you then make have a choice in the matter.
Eldar:You're empowered enough to know you have a choice yes oh, no, wait a second. No, no, no. You know what? I take that back. You don't have a choice in the matter. After you have awareness of what's right and wrong, you don't have a choice in the matter, okay yeah, I was.
Toliy:I was more trying to say from. Is that like, oh, where awareness is like the baseline that you need to have a chance of being successful but then to actually be successful?
Eldar:Yeah, as a different animal.
Toliy:Yeah, as a different animal.
Eldar:And that's where I was probably going to take that, Mike. It's not enough to be aware.
Katherine:Awareness is a great one. That's a great tool.
Mike:I think you have to be. Awareness is like being open to know that you might be wrong.
Katherine:Okay, right yeah, okay, and I think before.
Mike:That's super important, right before you can develop, I guess, other things, but I'm not sure if that's like the you know, first thing, first principles. That's like the baseline. Yeah, before you can make any change or improve your quality of life, you have to become aware, you have to develop this awareness thing so, and then you can build upon it, you can get the knowledge to do the right thing or to learn to make the right choices well, let's strip it back.
Eldar:What are you trying to be aware of in the first place? Are you trying to be aware of? Of of pain? Your pain, no, is, is the number one thing that you need to be aware of. No, so what is it that you're trying to be?
Mike:aware of um, probably the way I thought to think about it.
Toliy:You know, um is being aware of don't say ignorance, because that's pain no, no of how life works, yeah, but I do think that it does start with pain. That's what I'm thinking, yeah, because, yeah, I think a lot of people in general, like in a a lot of different situations in their life, they will experience like either like very high or like mild levels of pain.
Eldar:And it's on automatic pilot. They don't even know that it is.
Toliy:It hurts but not sure, like where or why it's coming from, or if it's normal or not. A lot of people normalize their pain A hundred percent.
Eldar:I try to raise awareness to Catherine about certain things, about cleaning the house or making, making food for us and stuff like that. She's like, no, that's how it's supposed to be. I'm like, no, that's actually causing you pain and until I raise enough awareness of this pain to her, she's not really buying it. She just keeps she's on autopilot, keeps doing what she thinks is correct, like you just said, without really understanding what I'm trying to say.
Toliy:Yeah, I'm trying to make her aware of her own pain yeah, like I think maybe a lot of the examples that she had maybe on like what she was doing or what she thinks that she should do, is what she has normalized. It's like this is normal, normal should normalize even though I don't feel like doing, doing it, yeah, because, but, but, but it's also like why is my back so tense? Yeah, but it's also hard. I'm like I know why I don't believe you.
Katherine:Why can't I sleep yeah?
Toliy:Yeah, but it's also hard, I think, because a lot of the people that you interact with or like a lot of things that you see, they normalize these more like disciplinary, oriented, like tasks. Yeah Right, so not doing those things is like it's a baffling frowned upon in like a society.
Eldar:Here's a. Here's a little example that we had Uh, ivana, would you, would you, uh, would you take this offer If you came to? Uh, if you came to work one day and your boss set you down and said Yvonne, I'm going to give you a raise, okay, and you go say that you have a bad attitude, okay, just generally speaking. Okay, ivana has a bad attitude.
Mike:It doesn't matter that it's actually accurate, but yes, we're not going to say this now.
Eldar:This is a make-believe example. So the boss sits you down and the boss sits you down and says, ivana, I'm going to give you a raise, I'm going to give you extra $2,000 a month. Hopefully that's enough. And you're going to see it for what? And she's going to say to not have a bad attitude, do you take it, would I take a raise of $2,000 a month?
Ivanna:Yeah for not having a bad attitude at work. I would say so Really. I would say so Absolutely. He's encouraging me to be a better person.
Toliy:What do you think About like would she take it or not?
Eldar:I think she would take it.
Toliy:I don't know if she'd be able to actually comply. She's not compliant.
Eldar:We would have to identify what a bad attitude is. She's probably going to be like no that's not a bad attitude, I'm doing right by you.
Katherine:What is a bad attitude is she's probably gonna be like no, that's not a bad attitude. I'm, you know, I'm doing right by you, you know, yeah, what am I doing wrong?
Eldar:exactly, yes, yes and how it's affecting this is an example of one of those things we're totally talking about.
Toliy:It's just like by the way, guys, this is a real example yeah, that we're entertaining right now look at the look on very real, wow.
Katherine:Person needs to make more money. You know what?
Eldar:I'm saying and Very real, wow, very real A person needs to make more money. You know what I'm saying and I'm willing to give a raise for removing the bad attitude.
Katherine:So yeah, Is that possible though?
Eldar:That's a good question, right.
Phillip:Depends where the motivation is True or lie.
Eldar:Yeah, you see Ivana will take it. Yeah, but the thing is it's easy for her to answer because it's hypothetical.
Katherine:It's hypothetical.
Toliy:It would be a good test to show that I don't think money can just erase or change who you are and how you go about things. It could maybe make you to start to think, but that's just like then money is buying you to potentially start to think and then start a journey from there.
Katherine:I do think, though, that this hypothetical possible person that you guys may be I think this person is exposed or runs on chronic stress, doesn't know another way like this is their normal yeah you know. So, going down this right of potentially offering them this money, you would really have to like I mean, you would have to like break down this person's like world and like, like, literally teach them like to eat to step, step to literally learn life.
Eldar:We learn everything.
Katherine:Because this is the only.
Phillip:Well, if money is a magnifier, right, yeah, if we are throwing money at this, I would argue that the attitude would get worse in a short period of time. And then I think, ultimately, if the goal is to get a better attitude, I think we would get her to that point of maybe awareness, where then we can open up a conversation to actually have the real thing.
Phillip:So I think, the money would be like a short term situation where, like, she thinks, like okay, all of a sudden, I'm going to shut this off, it's really not shutting off, we realize it's actually going to get exponentially worse.
Eldar:When she thinks it's going to get shut off because money like I agree, money can't shut this thing off no it's going to have to be we're talking about the cliche saying that they say you money can't buy happiness guys yeah, like.
Phillip:These are characteristics that you built over time with, like your habits, like who you are, like this is what's made up of you. So, to me, throwing money at it's going to make that more exposed. It's going to make it expedited, more pronounced. It's going to make it more pronounced. It's going to expedite that level of when we're having the conversation now and you ask us, hey, do you think they're actually listening? And we're saying, no, right now they're not. You throw money at it and maybe in a couple of months it gets you to the point where you can have the conversation and then they may be open to actually change.
Phillip:But I would say you throw money at it for the next three or six months. It's going to get worse.
Toliy:Now let me ask you this how about the reverse way? Let's say you make let's just say it's $10,000 a month Would you pay $2,000 a month to get a good attitude If you know that you have a bad one?
Phillip:No, that person would not yeah.
Katherine:If the good attitude pays the bills.
Eldar:No, probably not. It doesn't work either way. What would the?
Toliy:advantage be for that person. Well, they have a bad attitude and they're buying a good attitude.
Ivanna:Yeah. So how about, instead of saying, hey, I can offer you $2,000 in exchange for this? Instead of it being a transaction, why not instead say okay, I'm going to take these $2,000 and invest in a leadership course?
Eldar:Any chance you can relax this right here.
Ivanna:Oh, you're so annoying Self-awareness courses that are not just going to benefit one person, but it's going to benefit the whole team.
Eldar:Yeah, in the best case scenario.
Ivanna:Is that going to be a better solution? Long-term? Probably probably long-term.
Eldar:Yeah, probably the best case scenario. Is that going to be a better solution long term? Probably long term, yeah, probably.
Ivanna:Yeah, obviously, I don't know. I consider attitude as a form of energy. What?
Eldar:does that mean?
Ivanna:It's like it cannot be created nor destroyed, so then it's continuous.
Katherine:Excuse me.
Toliy:Wait, cannot be create.
Katherine:Bring out the crystals oh shit, are you trying?
Mike:are you trying whoa?
Toliy:are you trying to say something right now?
Eldar:I'm about to phone yeah, I'm about to phone James in. He's gonna counter this fucking argument you know what I mean?
Toliy:only James can talk. Yeah, I feel like you're trying to say something without saying something.
Phillip:We have to summon all the Avengers. We have to bring in Tommy.
Mike:We have to bring in James. Everybody's back, everybody's back.
Phillip:Everybody's back. I think the Avengers. They have those stones where there's all five and once you activate all five, all five of them will come back and then we can start to have the energy spiritual.
Toliy:Tommy and James just break through through these walls right here. If they break through this right now, if Tommy just broke through.
Phillip:right now I'm here, Phillip, and there's like a magical flamingo and Dennis is on the third one.
Katherine:What about Nate? I actually thought about Nate.
Phillip:Fine, fine, he's four and Oleg's number five. This Oleg the small one.
Ivanna:Alright, can I get a comfortable chair please?
Eldar:You said you wanted to sit on the floor. We can make arrangements.
Mike:Cuz I thought you liked to suffer. She was yeah.
Toliy:I would like to know about this attitude. Can I be what?
Ivanna:yeah, it's created nor destroyed what does that mean? It means it's a flow of energy, so it's how you carry yourself and how you carry that and how it affects other people. So, yeah, you could potentially get rid of it right. But you just said it can't be created. Yeah, you could potentially get rid of it right.
Mike:But you just said it can't be created or destroyed. How can you get?
Ivanna:rid of it. Hypothetically, right, like in quotation marks, you can like get rid of it.
Phillip:Wait, but why is attitude strictly energy? You think they're just the same thing?
Ivanna:No, because I think that someone's attitude can directly affect someone else. So that attitude, as we're calling it, right.
Eldar:That affects someone else. It could, but it necessarily doesn't, though.
Ivanna:It's not always the case, no.
Eldar:So what does that mean? You're not saying anything, don't you?
Phillip:think we have to then open up personality and ego and a whole bunch of other things we're just saying energy is attitude.
Eldar:Yeah, but it's irrelevant. Then yeah, like what is it?
Phillip:Yeah, but it's irrelevant. Then, yeah, like what is it? Yeah, it has to be a conversation, it has to be more.
Eldar:Help us here, Ivana. We don't speak in that language. Yeah, we have to learn more.
Ivanna:What I'm saying is that it can affect a person. Someone's attitude can affect a person, whether you realize it or not, so it's the energy that's carried from person to person in form of an attitude that can affect the individual.
Eldar:Sure, but so what?
Katherine:Okay, I can understand that Like for example someone's very anxious. Right Anxiety is like contagious. You feel that and it kind of infects you almost.
Eldar:Sure? But so what? But what does that say? What does that tell us? What's the conclusion here?
Katherine:Are you saying that that's not changeable, that that a person can't change that attitude. Is that what you're saying?
Ivanna:No, absolutely I can say that someone can change. But it's not Okay. By offering someone $2,000 doesn't mean it's going to completely go away just by offering them an incentive.
Eldar:No, we definitely don't think that. Yeah, no, we're definitely in agreeance with that. We definitely don't think that this is going away, okay. That's why we were pretty surprised that you said yeah, I'll take it.
Katherine:But I think it's a hypothetical. You dangled two Gs in front of.
Phillip:But you said it can't be created or destroyed, though, so we're still on that, okay, yeah.
Ivanna:Right. So meaning get down to the fundamental problems, to the core issues, whether it's a leadership course, whether it's a type of class that's being offered versus a $2,000 for one person being offered versus a $2,000 for one person, you're being a little bit elusive here.
Toliy:Yeah, I'm also down to say that. Ivana explained it very well. We all got it. When Mike comes back without us actually getting it, we'll just act out like we got it. I'm completely fine with that.
Phillip:Only if she agrees to it. Yeah, if you agree to it, I'm okay with that. I see Mike's reaction, if you want to skip the explanation and be like yeah, yeah, yeah you're right about that, yeah yeah, yeah, Like that.
Katherine:basically you cool with that.
Eldar:I'm cool with that. You're bad. Yo, you're bad, Ivana. Why'd you fall? For that trap.
Ivanna:He thinks I'm falling for it.
Eldar:Yo, you're bad, bro. Fine, we'll do it. We'll do it.
Phillip:She flared her foot posies and you called it out yeah, yeah, yeah, she needs to relax, she's in.
Eldar:Jersey. Now she's not in Atlanta, you know.
Toliy:Ivana, one time in YDP, when Elder was running the youth partnership program, there was a kid in there who wanted to play video games. Right, and I think he was in there who wanted to play video games Badly. He was playing during it and then there was like six or seven of us and Eldar farted why do you say it like that? He farted very loudly.
Katherine:Farting is bad.
Toliy:He farted and it was loud and it was pretty obvious it was him. But then he stopped the kid, I think, from playing video games farted and it was loud and it was pretty obvious it was him. But then he stopped the kid, I think, from playing video games and he said that he'll let him continue if he just says that he farted, like if he just takes blame for the fart. He was being manipulative yeah yeah, and then the kid was like no, he's like no, what do you mean?
Eldar:I didn't fart.
Toliy:I didn't fart. And then then elder was like I know that you didn't fart, just say that you farted and you can continue playing video games. He's like but I didn't fart, like I, I didn't fart. And I was like I know that, trust, trust me. Just say that you farted and then he goes yeah, guys, I farted and I was like all right, you can keep playing video games.
Katherine:Does that make you happy? Does it make?
Toliy:you happy he's buzzing. Look at that smile. Was that manipulative? No, I'm saying it was a funny story. I will say this though.
Phillip:I don't think I've heard Eldar fart. There's definitely some serious situations. I don't hear Eldar fart that much.
Katherine:She's pretty polite, thank you. Thank you, philip.
Toliy:You are pretty bad listen guys absolutely not.
Phillip:I don't hear much farting from Eldar. What do you mean? I do not hear much burping and farting from Eldar not burping, but farting.
Katherine:For sure, you're not a burper. You're absolutely not a burper, you hear?
Phillip:Eldar fart during the work day. Yeah.
Toliy:I'm next to him and I don't hear that. Come up to him to ask him a question and out of nowhere it just smells bad.
Katherine:Yes, Like you're one on one with somebody and it just smells bad, like there's only two of us here.
Toliy:There's two of us there. There's no chance it could be anyone else if I didn't do it.
Phillip:But then Eldar has definitely watched YouTube tutorials on like how to like slowly let it creep out without no sound.
Toliy:Yeah, I would say that Eldar is much better at that than I am.
Phillip:Okay, yeah, you're like a fucking trumpet.
Mike:Yeah, eldar has 15 years experience in a relationship.
Eldar:Yes, yes, this is true too.
Katherine:He does not live by those rules. Guys, I got a fucking marching band. That's another quality. Oh, I know. Yeah, I got a marching band.
Eldar:You have to know how to silently fart in a relationship so. Eldar's.
Katherine:I have a really sharp nose, if I can smell it not if you have two dogs you're not sure.
Toliy:You're really not sure. The good thing is sometimes they fart pretty bad so that's a good thing.
Katherine:No, but the thing is like. In order to disprove that, I will go and sniff their butts that's excellent.
Phillip:It lingers there it was Archie.
Toliy:He's not feeling so good, wait, you actually go to like if they're right next to meers. Oh, it was Archie. He's not feeling. So good, wait, you actually go to like If they're right next to me. I'm like Because it wasn't me.
Ivanna:It was. Archie and I just I don't trust him, so I'm like it wasn't Archie. She doesn't trust you either.
Eldar:That's fine On the farts, I'll take it. Guys, are we disproving mike's thing about awareness being the be all for?
Phillip:a healthy, long lasting love and relationships. Wait, did you say it is the be all or it's the start?
Eldar:because I thought he was saying it was the start. Oh sure, it's the start, but it's also the be all.
Phillip:I think, yeah uh well, no, it can't be, because we were saying that it like, if you're starting with awareness, it's going to give you the ability to then make a decision, and then my understanding would be then you are open to the truth.
Eldar:And from that point that's kind of where it starts. Respect, being respectful, honesty, patience all those things that are virtuous carry within themselves a level of awareness in the beginning, before you can actually act upon them.
Phillip:So that's the baseline, but we're saying it's the end all, and then I don't think that that's the right way to say it.
Eldar:Fine, it's a crazy requirement, and then I don't think that that's the right way to say it.
Mike:Fine, fine, I don't think it's a crazy requirement. I think it's a yeah Requirement.
Phillip:It's a baseline, it's a prerequisite, it's a prerequisite to get in to then, if your goal is to ultimately find love and to be exposed to the truth. If you do not have the awareness, it's like trying to get to level of 100 without going to level 1. Like level 1 is the awareness.
Eldar:How about this question? How about this question now? If you're on the journey of awareness, right, discovering truth and following a virtuous life, yeah, do you have a choice in the matter to be in love or not?
Phillip:Do you have a choice? To be in love?
Mike:Oh, that's the other thing that I was thinking about.
Eldar:Oh my God, of course you fucking were Okay so Of course you fucking were.
Phillip:I think I think.
Eldar:Did you understand my question, Philip? Yeah, I did. Tell me so I can understand it through your ears.
Phillip:So do you when you have awareness. Do you have a choice in the matter? To be in love?
Eldar:Yes, Right Meaning like like if you've developed awareness about life yourself and stuff like that right and you living in accordance to truth and virtuous life, is it inevitable for you to fall in love? I got an answer for you, sir.
Phillip:Oh, please, thank you so I, when I hope you get this one right so when I hear, when I hear, love, what I'm, what I'm hearing, uh-huh, now I'm I'm going to take a mic example where maybe more of his focus and more of a desire is on a person in a relationship. Okay, for me, maybe it be to discover uh love for maybe, um, activities or career or things that I can bring it to, whatever it may be. So you're asking me uh like love? Like once you have awareness, do you have a choice in the matter? I would say absolutely not.
Phillip:You do not, because once you are exposed to it, then it just becomes about. If you are becoming aligned with the truth, you're honest with yourself, you're starting to align yourself with what you like, who you like, who you are. I think you're going to start to um, uh, mend relationships or build relationships that are true, start to build and discover activities that are true and fun and bring you joy, and from that I think you're going to be exposed to love, whether you like it or not. Mike, you hear this.
Toliy:Yeah, I agree. Yeah, that's definitely more of my philosophy. I would say more Did Tully just agree with me. She did agree with you.
Phillip:To me personally, I would say more is that like?
Toliy:like I feel like did Tully just agree with me? She did agree with you. Yeah, to me personally, yo yo.
Phillip:Friday, special to me personally go get it. Is this how it happens? Never, it's a difficult concept to like.
Toliy:I feel like you're the most arrogant person he's ever met to justify, like the desire, for example, to like be in a relationship or to like fall in love, like that. To me, I mean, it's definitely something that like at one point I would say like wanted and stuff like that. But I feel like if you're not that person, then to me it's hard to like to like trace the roots behind of like where that's coming from and have it make sense to me. But then, yeah, I more agree with that. It's a byproduct of, it's an event, that's a byproduct of what you've done and who you are.
Eldar:Because if you desire it. Okay, keep going. You're going to steal the words out of my mouth right now, If you desire it.
Toliy:where is that coming from you?
Eldar:negate the fact of the work. If you desire it, then it's almost. More selfish, I would say it negates it yeah, versus promotes it.
Toliy:Yeah, like I don't believe that you could like want love or like want to be in like a loving relationship, because like love, or like want to be in like a loving relationship, because like I can't trace as to like where that would come from. Where it makes sense, oh, what was?
Phillip:the question that totally asked Kat. It was like two or three podcasts ago and Kat was saying that she wanted something and totally was saying that, based off of what she was saying she wanted, it was like a premature want. And then we were asking like okay, what do you actually want? And then it was totally different from what she actually wanted because what she was saying, like she wasn't ready for at that point and she needed other things to kind of get to that point.
Phillip:I forgot exactly what it was, but this example brought this in.
Eldar:This is the same explanation that he's talking about. What he this example this is the same explanation that he's talking about. What he's talking about is the same explanation. I'll talk to you about having a child. You know what I mean when you are not like you're wanted right, but your focus is on something that's supposed to, like I told you, come naturally if you do the right thing, which is again doing the right thing for yourself and by yourself.
Toliy:This is what he's talking about like I feel like, if I bring myself into it, I have a huge issue and a huge problem with anxiety. So, if I know this, and I know that this is a big point in my life, how could I desire a relationship? At the same time? I don't know how you can want that from a place of you wanting to like um, like, uh, share something, or coming from like an actual, more like selfless or good place if, like, you know that, like, you have this big issue, right. But I feel like, for example, like, if you work on all those different like that Mike was talking about, and you work on yourself, that happens as a byproduct of who you actually are, and that's also why I don't think that you look for a relationship. You can maybe look for a person, right, but you're more like the like, like like I guess, and like um but the ego wants what it wants totally the ego wants, what?
Phillip:well, yeah, so if you were to, analyze that, don't you think then do you want a sentence or do you want love? Don't you think then you have to factor in societal norms, right? What you think that you should have at that point, family pressures, right? Okay?
Eldar:certain ages to be.
Phillip:You think that you should have, at that point, family pressures, right, okay, certain ages to be certain things that, like you have maybe the expectation from when you were little, factoring in the video that we all watch, like childhood trauma, like all that kind of factoring all those things. And then, um, what you uh are talking about now, which is the example of if you are working on yourself and you are working towards uh, being, it's going to happen as a byproduct. Byproduct of it. How much patience does that person actually have?
Toliy:yeah, yeah, like, how, like that to me, comes down to patience, like I, I, I view in the sense of like, okay, like if, if, if I think of myself, like right, like who, who am I? Like, uh, how, how? How do I act towards? Like my friends? How do I act towards? Like my family? How do I act towards my family? How do I act in just all different types of life scenarios? And if those things generally don't all align together in a harmonious way with the truth, then I have my answer. As to any of these things, same thing. If you're in a relationship and you want a child, for example. Things right, same. Same thing. Like if you're in a relationship and you want, like a child, for, for example, it's the same thing, though they're they're two, but now you have two individuals, right, and if you guys are not aligning, for example, with all of those things, yeah, then like that's probably not going to happen or not going to happen in like the way that you want it, or it won't happen, or how is it?
Eldar:but then it'll be. How is it gonna land on the child?
Toliy:yeah, people want to be harmonious people want something first and to figure it out after right, like they want to have, like having a child is very easy, getting into relationship is very easy, but maintaining it, or, if it's a child, like raising it properly or paying the right attention right, like, like, if you tell me, for example, like you have both parents who work full-time plus commute and stuff like that, like they probably should not have have a child, like what, what time do you like? Who's gonna? Who's gonna do what here? What are you guys saying here? Right, like, if you don't have like the right help, or like support, or like the right time, even, maybe you have the right abilities, right, but you don't have the time, well then, like, well then, what are we saying right here? Um, so, so I feel like for it to be properly done and to not raise someone that like is going to um just like live a life of suffering, or just like um maybe not not be like a good person, or just right, right, like um.
Eldar:It has to be a very right scenario, and I feel like the vast majority of scenarios, though, are probably not not right but yeah, but you, almost you, given people like, for example, the ordinary people and uh, unbelievable fucking feat to fucking to accomplish here, it sounds like perfectionism, bro.
Phillip:No, no but help people out here, starting with the awareness that's the baseline bro, this sounds a lot of work.
Eldar:Awareness is a big is a big one. Yeah, I mean everything that you guys just said. It's a lot of work for, for the ordinary people that just want to live a good life you know, can I say something?
Katherine:like I agree with like these virtues and these things on working on yourself, yeah, so that you have something to give and you're not just taking, right. So I agree on that sense. And then I hear totally on his issue with anxiety and how he suffers from it, right. But then I'm also hearing like, almost like you don't believe that you're worthy of of being in this type of relationship until you. I guess like, let's say, manage the anxiety. But like what if? What if that doesn't bridge? Like what if? Totally struggles with anxiety for the next 30 years, then what Like does that?
Toliy:mean that you're not worried, like you know, like, how do you feel about that? I should not be in a relationship. I should not be in a relationship, I should definitely not be having a kid, and I need to be alright with that right, because it's like, if you're chasing, for example, like well, no, I'm sorry, I'm going to cut you off.
Eldar:Yeah, no, no, I think that he should not have the relationship that we're talking about. Mike with a long lasting relationship, he can get into a relationship. How long will it last? Is the question right? A lot you can get into a relationship. How long will it last? Is the question right? A lot of people get into relationships. A lot of people get into many multiple relationships in their lifetimes, right, and they keep going on and on and on and on.
Katherine:I've been dealing with anxiety for most of my life.
Eldar:Yeah.
Phillip:But he talked about the stable.
Eldar:No, no, no. At least one individual right, and the burden of proof is on us here, Right. So at least one individual has to have this shit together for this to work.
Katherine:Okay, somebody has to lead, but it's possible he can find someone that can be very supportive and guide him through that Again.
Eldar:it's very hard to kind of pray for that. You think there's an.
Phillip:Eldarina out there for an employee. Y'all done.
Toliy:I wanted to take a piss now I think I gotta take a shit, yeah.
Toliy:Yeah, I feel like, if you want, like, any of these scenarios we're talking about, I feel like are like on the level of like, if you want to say, like, greatness, right. And if, like, if you're chasing that, you have to, I think, think like, uh, live up to it. Um, if not, then that, then, like what's gonna play out is not like, I guess, like what you're working towards or like what you want, right, and, like I said, having a kid is extremely easy. And we're not talking about like, how do we, how do we have one right, because I feel like it's probably not um, like like the hardest thing to do, right?
Katherine:Or getting into a relationship For some, yes, yeah, I'm talking about in the sense you can just make it happen.
Toliy:Yeah, I'm talking about in the sense of if you want to have a kid, that's usually not the biggest hurdle for people. They're very People will first have kids and then figure out those other things. Same thing with relationship.
Toliy:They feel like, oh, if I find the right person, then I'll change right or like I'll do, like like getting into one is again also like an easy thing, you can yeah, anyone can get into a relationship Anyone, right but not, not, not, not anybody can like have the right one or have one that like you're uh proud of, right, and I think that, like, um, that's what we're talking about and, yeah, on, on that level, I think the odds are heavily stacked, stacked against everybody. Um, unless you're, unless, unless you're a product of those two people that did believe in these things and that did invest in those things and had that kid from those things right, and that kid grew up in that kind of environment, then the odds are not stacked in that person. The odds are heavily favoring that person. Wow, so, if you, if you become a kid, um from from two people, for example, that believe in those things and then like work towards those things and are like are, are uh chasing them, then you'll, you're going to be like a Supreme being.
Eldar:You know the same where we're going after, or no?
Toliy:And you think that's gonna take just a regular, you know you're trying to make the fifth element here regular shmegular stuff, babe, we in for the long.
Eldar:If it's not Jesus, it ain't nobody you know what I'm saying.
Katherine:I have to become an element so I can create an element.
Toliy:You know yeah, like this would be, like the most supreme being of Are you ready. Are you ready?
Eldar:for these people to finally get the Messiah they've been waiting for.
Toliy:Yeah, like think about it.
Eldar:Philip needs to get touched by the. You know by the light.
Phillip:I'm in a dark place, yeah.
Toliy:Yeah, I feel like we're all coming from like a place where we're like we're operating, coming from a place where we're operating from a deficit right Figure it out and change ourselves 100% Imagine somebody born into this shit.
Eldar:Baby, imagine the people that are born into this shit. We're confused about this shit.
Katherine:We're trying to work from backwards to like untangle untangle the mess that, like we've created, untangle our generational trauma figure shit out to figure out how to live like a good life.
Toliy:Yeah, right, but someone who's born right away into these things and raised with virtuous um like uh lifestyles, yeah lif, lifestyles and lessons and concepts. What the hell? Who are they going to be? That's what I'm saying.
Eldar:This is not going to be a LeBron James who's just throwing a fucking ball into a net. You know what?
Toliy:I mean.
Eldar:And calling them great. What the fuck? You know what I'm?
Katherine:saying Dan Millman.
Eldar:It's time to put the world back in its place. Hee, hee.
Katherine:Hee, hee.
Eldar:Guys. Mike, did you get enough? You had a problem before we started this. I did yeah.
Mike:Really yeah, okay, yeah.
Eldar:Well, listen, you had a lot of questions about what to bring into a relationship and what is it really to be ready, and I think that totally, and people here took a really pretty good crack at it, and this is a big one. It's to almost to recognize that you're incompetent, right, and the importance of it is not to want it's, the importance is to be.
Mike:Okay, so you know what I'm saying Without being cliche, but so then, what are you?
Eldar:guys saying I'm not there yet. We're not saying that you have to make that evaluation.
Mike:Well, if you guys are saying this is something that I want, then I'm not ready.
Eldar:No, If that's something that you want, that desire supersedes your growth or your current things that you're working on, then yes, but if it's not, obviously it's you to judge ultimately, right, what is it that you're working on? What is it that? It's almost like being in a relationship or going into one and falling in love becomes a byproduct of your work, like it's inevitable for you, and you will not have a choice in the matter, but to fall in love. Because, why? Because you've embodied yourself in such a way, right, that everything you touch, everything you touch, turns to gold. And then, when people come across you, you doesn't matter who, it is right doesn't matter how broken they are it's gonna be, you're gonna be Penny, and it's gonna be Archie, and, uh, you're gonna be, uh, you have no choice in the matter.
Phillip:So so to me, if one thing, to me it would be anything. The way that you know uh, I hear people talking about want. It's like, okay, I want money. Right, you want, you want something that's outside of yourself. If you want love and you don't not, you don't have love in yourself and you're building it to me. It's in the same conversation as money. It's this outside thing that you want. You're not ready to have it yet.
Phillip:And it's creating this, um guess, idea of this thing that you need, okay, or if you think that, you want. And it's causing you to make all these decisions and be this type of person. So I hear money and it's like I think, if you say love, I think there's a different, maybe idea or energy attached to it. Whatever you want to call it, okay, energy.
Eldar:Thank you for throwing her a bone. Yeah, whatever you want to call it.
Toliy:Okay, energy Thank you for throwing her a bone. Yeah, but also I don't think anyone who wants, who says they want money, actually want money. No, no, but that's where my example is going.
Phillip:I agree with you when you do say you want money, you do say you want love. I think what you really do want is you want to be empowered and you want to be able to make your own decisions.
Phillip:And you want to be coming from that place where your cup is full Of total awareness Total awareness. I understand what the I went through the awareness phase. Now I'm exposed to the truth and now you're at that point, which you guys were referring to. I can make the decision. Do I want to go left? Do I want to go right? Do I want to be in a relationship? Do Do I want to maybe make my own business? Do I want to pursue something that I love and an endeavor that I love, whatever it may be? My cup is full. I can do it. I went through the awareness phase. I'm exposed to the truth.
Phillip:If I'm starting before awareness and I'm saying which I think most people do, and they're saying I want money, why? Okay, I want this lifestyle, why? It's like because you're coming from a place of weakness and you think that you need this thing to be important and to have other people look at you a certain way, I think with love. It's like I feel like I should have this thing because of my parents, because of society, because of biological clocks and babies, and like all this stuff. And then you're like wait, what? Where am I at as a person? Am I actually evaluating myself truthfully. Yeah, who I am, irregardless of age? Yeah, okay, parents, friendships, wherever I am, gender, anything yeah, okay, this is who I am. This is what I've done up to this point in life.
Phillip:And, um, like, where am I? And honestly assessing that, getting to that point? We're talking about awareness. I think truth is like far down the line after awareness, because you're basically asking people and saying, or you're basically opening yourself up to saying, hey, guys, like this is who I actually am. I'm open to being like judged and ridiculed and basically maybe being poked fun at to get to the point of being aware. So then I can be exposed to the truth. So then I can be exposed to the truth. How many people are?
Phillip:open to that level to get to that point of humility to then get to the point to be able to be aware and then be exposed to the truth. How many people started what Tully's talking about? It's like I'm going to get the family, the relationship and I'm going to try to be rich, and then I'll figure it out. It's like wait and then I'll be happy after that. It's like how much trouble you're going to have to go through.
Eldar:Here's my question here right and I think this is an important one, Tell me if I'm right or not Then, based on what you're saying, exposing yourself to be able to be humbled, in order to be completely exposed to humility or receive humility in its truest form, it is a requirement to bounce it off of humans, other humans, in such a way where it is undeniable, because each human within themselves carries that thing that we talked about, which is gravitational force, almost, of love and truth, or God.
Phillip:Okay.
Katherine:Baby, you have to phrase it a little bit like it's not easy to digest. Totally I know what you're saying but totally knows how to do the same stuff that you do. Can you explain?
Phillip:it in this? Are you excluding, like? Where my mind goes, it's like there's nature and there's animals and there's other things. So you're saying, strictly on a human basis yeah, you need to be exposed to humans in order to get to this place of awareness.
Eldar:Yes, I would humility received from other people to humble you. Yeah, so, and the way you do that is because, like they actually are, we all have the truth in us. We all are godly creatures. Okay, yeah, so we can give you the key to that if we also tap in into that for the moment.
Phillip:Right. So here's devil's advocate, right. The devil advocate on the other side is going to say like hey, listen.
Eldar:Because that's what you're asking for. Yeah.
Phillip:I get it, okay. So I'm thinking of, like the guy, okay, okay, maybe me, maybe not, yeah, yeah. So let's say a guy who was working from home at the time, a couple of years ago, whatever, yeah, I don't know that guy. Okay, let's say he's walking around and he's looking at birds and he's looking at trees, right, and he's like, yo, you know what, like I'm not around, like I feel like I'm really plugged into nature, I'm like a spiritual, I'm a spiritual guy, right, like, yeah, I'm plugged in. So there's the animals, there's the nature, there's things that, uh, don't interact back with you, don't give you feedback, okay, so I think that's that to me is like, uh, it's easier to be in touch with those things because there's nothing really coming back at you. So, to answer your question, I think, wow, yo, yo, I just realized that.
Eldar:You did. Yeah, okay, all right, ivana, pay attention. You have to help us with this. Okay, cool Wow okay.
Toliy:It sounds like the development, for example, of all bad things, let's just say like all these types of different mental conditions, like anxiety, like low self-esteem, anger, depression. All of these things can only occur with the exposure to being exposed to others, Only to be exposed to others. So these things can only occur to an individual that has exposure to humans Interactions. Yes, with humans, okay, which means that the cure to all of these things also comes from the interaction with humans.
Phillip:No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wouldn't you say? It's the. The depression is coming from a separation from.
Eldar:No, no no, no, no, no. I think he's right. I think, ultimately, because we're social creatures, our misconceptions and understanding of reality comes from interactions no, no, can you be?
Toliy:can you be self-conscious? Yeah, if you've never spoken to another human, impossible how do you get to depression, though, with being?
Phillip:don't you have to then separate and then be on your own?
Toliy:no, depression is a result with exposure to other humans, anger is created. Exposure to other humans. If I just took you and I never exposed you to humans, you cannot have. With exposure to other humans, anger is created, exposure to other humans. If I just took you and I never exposed you to humans, you cannot have any of these things.
Phillip:Okay. So that's where it starts, that's the seed of it. Okay, so then you take depression, you have it, you interact with somebody, you go off on your own. You don't think it gets exponentially worse.
Eldar:No, the reason why you go off in the first place is just the result of what actually happened.
Phillip:So everything is coming from the actual result of human interaction. You're going off on your own to say like, hey, this happened as a result of me interacting with the human incorrectly, incorrectly, incorrectly agreed.
Eldar:Yes, agree on that. That's why he's saying what he's saying that you gotta come back.
Phillip:So it's all coming back and it's all starting and ending with the human. Yes, you go off on your it's as a result of what happened with the human.
Toliy:It occurred to me when you said that like the what you were saying before about the humility with human interactions, the lack of humility in all of these things also come from human interactions.
Eldar:To me it's like the infection is with humans. It's making wrong things right. It's making right by those wrong things.
Toliy:Yeah, but it sounds to me that the source of the infection is the same place of the source of the cure. Yeah, they're interchangeable. Yeah, because your interaction with others can get you the humility, for example or the knowledge and understanding that you need, for example, if you're already, for example, sick, to help kind of cure yourself. But the sickness can also only be developed with that kind of exposure. Because you wouldn't be able to do that if you were just in nature, for example, impossible, correct, yeah, okay, so it starts with people ends with people able to do that if you were just in, like in the forest, for example impossible.
Toliy:Yeah correct, yeah, okay so yeah, starts with people, ends with people yeah, like if I threw an island and you were self-conscious about your body. Yeah, and you were just naked. There's nobody there. No, nobody. Could you ever be like? Oh my god, the first thing I do is I get some clothes.
Eldar:I don't want to see anybody, like you know I want you to see me yeah, without my show.
Phillip:Oh, my god's getting big because I'm eating bananas yeah, yeah, I'm going to like uh, tom hanks, I cast away, then like the volleyball, the volleyball starts to come into the picture and then like yeah like you start to get self-conscious, around the volleyball and you're like, oh wilson, I don't want you to see me like this oh my god, yeah, wilson the volleyball yeah yeah, yeah, do you have an attitude by yourself do I have an attitude by myself?
Phillip:yeah, it's impossible. Can you have an attitude with yourself? Impossible. I think that's very difficult to be Because there'd have to be me outwardly putting that thing into something. It would have to be the ball or the person or something I personify. If I personified the ball, I guess I in a sense give attitude to the ball. Yeah, but I don't think I'd be able to have it with myself I had.
Eldar:I had this interaction. I was gardening the other day yesterday and I stepped in shit and, and penny, shit, you know what I mean and I was like fuck, you know what I mean? Like damn it, because I'm in the middle of doing stuff, yeah, and then I like fuck, I gotta clean my fucking shit, you know. And then I cleaned it. Two minutes later I go into my shed. I accidentally something fell off the shelf that I was picking up something and it hit my fertilizer fish fertilizer, you know and it broke the bottle. The bottle exploded, fell on the floor and everything went out everywhere.
Eldar:I then I smell like shit again. You know what I mean. Like now it's on my feet, it's on my jeans, on my pants, my sneakers, and I'm like what the fuck? And then Penny comes over and she wants to lick the stuff because she likes the stuff, you know. Then I'm letting my anger out on her. You know what I mean. Now the attitude is coming out because I have a being, because it's silly to be angry at yourself in the moment, like, ah, fuck, it's almost stupid to express yourself in such a way by yourself, but when you have a being, now I'm upset with her. I'm like get out of here. You caused this.
Phillip:Okay, wait, wait, wait. But is there a world where there is somebody who is maybe deranged, but can you? Actually be mad at yourself, impossible.
Eldar:After a while. If you put me on an island, if I keep stepping on shit, I will not have the same attitude because nobody's really looking. That's impossible. So even if you start, yeah, no because it goes away.
Toliy:Attitudes or the word anger or frustration or any of these things are all wrong impressions of the current impression that you're having. That's right, and the only way for you to have that kind of impression or be wrong is the interaction with another being.
Eldar:So to go back, you'd have to personify a palm tree or a volleyball, and you'd have to give them that type of passion, otherwise you're delusional. I love that movie.
Phillip:I love it. He went away and then when he came back she was with somebody else and that scene in the rain. When he went back to her. Did you guys see this or not?
Eldar:I don't remember. But he said I don't give a fuck anymore. Right, which one?
Phillip:was it Okay. So, castaway, what happened was he went to this island. He was married to this woman. They were in love. He was like a FedEx manager or whatever Went to this island for X amount of years. He actually got back by the. He went back to go see her at the house. They were just talking, interacting. She was kind of catching him up on what happened.
Phillip:The Tennessee Titans, the football team, changed and this is what's happening. Here's my guy and this is the house. So then he was about to leave, then it was raining and then he came back in. He's like I never forgot. She's like I always thought you were there. I never gave up on you. They still love each other. Gave up on you and like you know they still love each other. Like but that scene of like she never like thought that he was gone and like he always had a picture like of her and like that was what like drove him to get off the island. Like it was a crazy love story. So like when they came back, like they never got to connect again and love and then he had to go off and veer off and like find love in a different, a different way does she allow him to to uh?
Phillip:no schmadoogs.
Eldar:No schmadoogans, no schmadoogs.
Phillip:Should he allow him to sugar bang, bang, bang, bang. I think they kissed in the rain. She went back and she honored her relationship and it was like that. Like that's why I respect.
Eldar:Noah a little bit better from the notebook. He's got the draws.
Phillip:That's a great love story. You got the drills. Yeah, this is different because, well, in the sense, like well, she went off in that, in that love story where she went with the guy that she thought that her parents would want yeah, it was the, the successful, rich guy which aligned with her family and she realized that, like, this guy didn't challenge me and didn't have actually what I wanted, yeah, it was what my parents wanted and if you knew from the beginning what she liked was, noah was asking like, what do you want? Free?
Phillip:Freedom yeah, she's like I'm doing piano lessons, I'm doing art classes. No, no, what do you want Exactly? And she's like I don't actually know because I never thought about it. That's right so then, when she went to go with the guy who was successful, it's like, yeah, just go do whatever you want. She's like I don't know really what I want. He kept challenging her on this and she liked this because he was actually into her and interacted with her as a person.
Eldar:You know what? The most profound thing that he fucking did which I think that he's this guy's genius actually is the fact that he connected Alzheimer's to the fucking story. You know that she has Alzheimer's right. She doesn't remember, so he has to read the story every single time to make her remember a very specific moment.
Toliy:No, yeah, this is later on in her life, yeah, but also her being with that rich guy at the very end.
Phillip:Well, but she does not marry him until afterwards?
Toliy:Well, no, she left him because she went to college and her parents were lying right.
Eldar:To her. They didn't get the notes. No, they hid them. They hid all the messages he wrote to her for a whole year, wrote to her for a whole year.
Katherine:So she went off to college, she met the guy.
Phillip:And then what happened was Well, no.
Toliy:She went off to college, she met the guy, and then what happened was well no, she no no, she went, she went off to college and then she became a nurse afterwards, sure, and that guy was in the military right and he was badly hurt and she was taking care of him. So this was like all after like a college, but he was writing to her every day during it, yeah, but, but her parents hid that.
Phillip:But the way that she discovered it was that he built a house, the one that she was always talking about.
Phillip:She was talking about a house that was on the river with, like this, and it was actually on the paper, and then she was getting fitted for her wedding dress. She had the paper, like this, and she was with everybody her family and everybody and she fainted. And she was with everybody her family and everybody and she fainted, yeah, and she was like, holy shit, he built the house for me that I was talking about, yeah, and then she went to go interact with him and then they started to like rekindle the flame.
Toliy:Yeah, Only at the end. Her mom gave her the whole stack of envelopes that he was.
Phillip:That was afterwards, when she confronted her mom afterwards when she confronted her mom.
Eldar:Wow, it sounds like you guys both are fans of this movie. Oh, I love this movie.
Katherine:I have watched this movie a hundred times.
Eldar:I watched this movie at least, probably 30 or 40 times. But the profound thing is that he connected Alzheimer's to it.
Phillip:Afterwards. The way that she's telling the story is that he had to get her to remember through drinking wine, playing certain music, having her in front of the piano, and then reading this book of her life.
Toliy:Yeah, but she didn't know that it was her life. And I think his point was to like he was reading who she was and what she liked, and eventually she connected that like yeah, this is me.
Phillip:And there was moments for like maybe three or four minutes at a time. No, but do you see the significance of this, or?
Eldar:no, this is Mike. Recollection of the fucking soul, bro. This is a perfect example of that in real life.
Phillip:So people are trying to do this now, before they even get the relationship.
Eldar:Is that what you're saying? This is what I'm saying.
Toliy:Yeah, because the doctor was saying the whole this. He was saying, no, it's not because she remembers, she remembered yeah.
Phillip:Think about how many people start off like that, not remembering where they're going in their teens to their 20s, and they already forgot how to love.
Eldar:Do you realize that you're very dumb in society, or no?
Katherine:I need more to drink.
Eldar:Do you realize that In society? Yeah, like out there in the world, like you're very dumb, define that, but you're very smart here. So like, do you see what's happening?
Phillip:or no, so like in the world, so like. Are you like subjecting me to like being on the phone or something?
Eldar:Everywhere, just like everywhere, the way you carry yourself. Is not this Really on the phone or something? Everywhere, just like everywhere?
Phillip:The way you carry yourself. Is not this Really? Yeah, that's wild, yeah, I guess like. I guess, like where I feel confident is like if I, if I do want something, like when I do want it, like if I do approach a girl, or I do like, like something that I like, or I'm going out and I'm having fun, don't feel that way.
Phillip:But yeah, when it does get pointed out, if, like this is just how I present myself in kind of everyday life, yeah, yeah, that's like um, yeah, it's kind of like a all right wake up call, like, okay, I don't see myself as this, but I don't uh, take your guys um, I guess opinion as well, just trying to like.
Eldar:You told me this, like you said like hey, like when I'm funny, I don't know that I'm funny. I don't like when you guys give me praise, I don't know that I'm actually doing something right?
Phillip:yeah, like, this is what I'm talking about yeah, my cell phone, my self-awareness on, like, I guess, the characteristics of the things that I do think about myself, and like the like, the positive, I have the same thing for him yeah, katherine told me the other day too.
Eldar:she says, yeah, this guy knows it all, can break it all down, but when it comes to his anxiety, he's entertaining ghosts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's at home and he's visioning things. He has a mushroom experience.
Phillip:When you showed me we were at his house.
Katherine:Oh, you mean shrooms yeah.
Eldar:He's imagining things.
Phillip:He was on the grill and we were in his window all looking at him on the grill and Eldar pointed it out. It looks like he was summoning a deadly spirit. He was just sitting on the barbecue and it was closed and Eldar was like yo, just look at him right now.
Toliy:Because you guys didn't know what I was doing. I was looking at the temperature. I was waiting for the temperature to go up. How about you?
Eldar:using that finger to close that fucking thing.
Phillip:How about that Explain?
Katherine:that fucking thing. Explain that fucking thing.
Phillip:Explain that Kat turned to me and then she's just like yo, what did he do?
Toliy:I did it with something else I recreated it on something else.
Phillip:He closed the cheese fucking thing so it was one of those bags where, like I don't know if you guys remember, like those, it was like the container with the crackers, with the whiz cheese and it had the little red stick. It was one of those little plastic containers and it had the plastic strip on the top.
Phillip:All you had to do was just fold it over and Tully was just kind of looking around and just looking at everybody kind of interacting and the plastic was folded over and then he just came over and he could have done anything he could have been like hey, tommy can you clean the dishes, elder? Can you get the fries going like all? The big things that would have actually got us to eat quicker and have a more enjoyable experience. He just came over and he just took that plastic and he just flipped it Do?
Eldar:you remember this or no? Do you remember? Yeah, you see that he does not remember.
Toliy:He's not supposed to remember this thing. Wait, this is when we were doing the burgers, yeah.
Phillip:And the burgers and the hot dogs, and Elder pointed out to me and I thought it was so funny. Pointed it out to me and I thought it was so funny. She does not see this stuff.
Katherine:We actually thought it was very funny, we pointed it out to you and then Cap brought it up again and it was so funny.
Phillip:but so much stuff was going on it was kind of like a busy lunch.
Eldar:but now, thinking back, you gotta understand that anytime when it's busy like that, you have to watch him. He goes somewhere else. It's busy, but he is somewhere else. It's a very interesting phenomenon.
Phillip:Now that I'm aware of that, which is the baseline of getting to the point of truth.
Eldar:Well, that's what I'm saying. I'm explaining to you that, again, you have that ability to right when you put on your thinking cap. If you listen to this back, you probably should when you're sober. You know what I'm saying To see that you have the ability to put it in a very good perspective and a lot of people, I think, can make sense of what you're saying. Okay, but in reality, in real life, a lot of times it's like you're nowhere to be found. Same thing for him, right. Okay, you can put it all really well right here, but as soon as we come out of this, like Dennis used to say, fill a bubble. Yeah, it's like what's happening.
Phillip:So I know, yeah, I know where that comes from. So that to me is the confidence but there's a disconnect. Yeah, there's a disconnect between what are you doing. Are you guys acting right now? No, I think there's. Are you being your true selves?
Mike:no, who's who?
Phillip:I can say, at least for me, and I think Tully has this also, I think Tully has this also. I think, talking and like having, like the intellectual, there's an intellectual portion of what we're talking about and there's an action portion of it. I think to marry the intellectual and the action is there has to be a recognition and a true belief, and I think when they both, when they both coordinate, then I think you can take the action.
Eldar:Okay, totally Well, you have to weigh in on this. He said there's a clear disconnect, why we agree there's a disconnect, correct? We just spoke about this the other day. He's like yo, Eldar, I get it. Why the fuck am I doing this? I don't understand what the fuck.
Toliy:Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think there definitely is some type of disconnect on certain things.
Eldar:I actually think that somehow we've created Mike, help me here a safe space. We talked about this before, and this safe space somehow calls very specific individuals, and those specific individuals do a really good job of what they do, which is being their true selves as human beings and what we're trying to be. You know what I mean. But as soon as you turn us off, they become somebody else. Not all of them, not always, but there's struggle.
Katherine:So okay.
Phillip:Attaching to that point, I'm able to have fun.
Eldar:now, and as soon as we shut this off, I'm going to continue having the same fun.
Phillip:I got it.
Eldar:When he goes to his parents' house, I'll have the same fun I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.
Phillip:Okay, so you are not influenced by outside things and I don't think that you allow other people's opinions to affect you as much. I think, when you're talking about anxiety, depression or like lack of confidence, why do I have a?
Eldar:perception of you guys. Yeah, there's no chance that outside things can influence you right now. Okay, why do I have this perception? Why do I see like you guys as your top selves? I'm telling you when I say that this panel is the best panel I've ever seen. I've seen a lot of shit on the internet, bro. Okay, nobody talks to us, bro.
Phillip:Okay, so Nobody, I don't think you're not seeing that right now.
Eldar:Why do I have that?
Phillip:Okay, I'm answering the question what I'm saying is that when there are outside people involved, okay, there's other people, it's just the outside world. Okay, yeah, mostly judgmental, kind of quick to judge, kind of a everyday people that we don't have a relationship with, sure, I think you're going to be more prone to be closed off.
Phillip:Okay, you're saying safe space. If you're somebody who is prone to anxiety or depression or like lack of confidence, or like they maybe don't know themselves that well, if they're with people that they don't know and they don't feel like they can share, that's an easy example of somebody who would climb up in a shell and not show you their true self. Yeah, if you are in an environment that you create right. Yeah, you're the CEO of the company, so you create an environment that's very important where people are honest, where people come in they can be themselves, it's free, there's truth to be, you know, exposed and like we want to live in an environment where there's love and like we have fun and you enjoy yourself.
Eldar:How You're creating this environment, okay so then you're putting it on me, you're saying that I'm the one who's creating this and I'm the one who's influencing you to be your best selves.
Phillip:Yeah, because, okay, if it's on us to do this, okay, and you're saying, hey, philip, I'm seeing this now, but why is there a disconnect? Because we do have to go home, we do have to live our lives. If you want me to sleep on the end of your bed and be like, hey, I'm going to pop up, and then I wake up and I'm in your house, I'm having breakfast with you and maybe I don't leave your side, okay, that's one thing, but at the end of the day, everybody has to have their own life and everybody has their separate lives.
Eldar:They go separate lives, they go home, they do their own thing. Okay, they do weird barbecue things, I do weird bath things. And then you're saying that I'm fucking shit up and I I want you guys to fuck shit up too, because, well, what you're?
Phillip:bringing here is not what you're bringing in. Those phone calls, okay, okay, okay, but crazy disparity. Okay, then there's also the other end of it. If you did not bring, there has to be that sign of awareness that we talked about, right, yeah, so we are now being exposed to that awareness that we wouldn't have been before. There was zero, okay.
Phillip:So, now I don't think you can say like, hey, just because I'm exposing to this level of awareness now it's bad because you're not seeing it in this other world. If we're looking at it and we're saying, okay, there's patience, it's going to be a years and years and years of prose for, just like you know, hours and weeks and maybe months. I think it's like you're creating an environment where we're actually able to tap into this.
Katherine:So I don't see it as a negative thing. I think that's part of it.
Phillip:It's an introduction to what we're talking about and I think for us, to the expectation for us to take this and bring it to our home life. It's a lot. You're aware of this. Oh, like, like, when I'm here, I feel really good and I feel very open.
Phillip:Yeah for me in order for me to create this, I have to find a class or something like that that, like, would replicate my level. You're asking me why I like the classes that I like. Yeah, it's because there's a level of freeness and openness where I can be myself. Yeah, I can be myself here. So I'm trying to find places where, on my own time, I can also be free and open where. I can then take this and bring it there.
Eldar:If.
Phillip:I go back into my regular routine and my regular everyday life with the people that I created relationships with based off of the person that I was. I think it's very, very difficult to carry the person. I am at this job, in this place, with these people, with other people Wow, Does that make sense or no? It does make sense.
Eldar:That changes everything Okay.
Toliy:Yeah, I feel like with a lot of outside relationships, there's probably a lot of unaddressed traumas. There's probably a lot of uh like on unaddressed traumas, that maybe you're um potentially thinking that like will get addressed. Yeah, but there's probably a higher chance that?
Eldar:yeah, there's more attachment, there's more attachment, I get it.
Toliy:Yeah, there's probably a higher chance that you can get like develop yourself, to lose attachment than to actually address those traumas, and I feel like you probably just keep creating the environment until we're able to create it on our own.
Eldar:Yeah, extend it, Extend it yeah.
Mike:To me. I think the way I look at it is this form.
Eldar:Let's just say, if you guys are in this form right now, this is the true form. I do not see. No, it's not the true form it's the best form.
Mike:That's what I'm saying. But the thing is, the best form is not always the true form, but this is the true.
Eldar:How is this not the true form?
Mike:what's true?
Eldar:and what's best.
Phillip:I don't think so. I think this is the truest form, and it is all about getting to this place to do it everywhere.
Mike:This is the truest form outside of us, but with us, our human element, our human attachments and all our other things. This is just a moment in time of our best form, but it's not a true form, because when we leave here, we don't act like this.
Eldar:You would time of our best form, but it's not our true form, because when we leave here, you would have to define true. Then what do you mean by true?
Phillip:I think I agree with Eldar where this is, that so some people aren't even exposed to this, and the whole thing we're talking about was there is a level of awareness that you have to have before you get exposed to the truth. If you don't experience this, I don't think you can just dismiss it and say it's not the truth or it's not the best, no, the thing is, it doesn't matter what you do in Philosophy Club.
Mike:If you go out in the world and you violate everything you spoke about here, it's worthless yeah. I agree with that. That's why it's not your true form because that's not who you actually are.
Eldar:Yeah, he's right about that, it's your best form, because you're here. For the moment amongst fucking saints.
Mike:But when you go out in the world and you're not, if you're a piece of shit, then you're a piece of shit.
Phillip:But what's the difference between true and best?
Eldar:Well, that's what I'm saying. You would have to define the definitions.
Mike:The ultimate goal is to be your true and your best self. That's the ultimate, but For prolonged periods of time.
Eldar:That's what we talked about.
Mike:The goal is you have to understand that you're the one who's creating it and you have to know what you're doing, and I think that's the problem. I think that happens because what you're describing is that the person subconsciously, consciously, arrogantly not arrogantly has not picked the side of who they want to be and how they want to live their life, and therefore they go out there and they're like oh yeah, hi, today I'm going to be this guy, and then I come back here and I'm hi, I'm this guy, and that's that's exactly what's happening, because the person is too arrogant, thinking they can be two people at once and I live this.
Mike:I'm saying it from my own experience. Yeah, I try to be an honest businessman and I try to convince myself of being an honest, good businessman and I will go and tell myself lies and then I would go do fucked up shit but always tell myself saying like oh no, no, no, I'm doing right, justifying it, no one knowing this wrong, same thing there, and I think when we go out there and we don't have a consistency in character, that's exactly what's happening.
Toliy:Yeah, see, I view it as like when I observe the situation is that, like in this setting at least, you have many examples, right what? You have many examples, I have many examples. None of which we're going to share. No, I'm just speaking generally, generally. Yes, thank you. In this type of I feel like environment. Phil just went through like a whole train worth of things. Yeah, like that was like a drive-by, like a pillow club.
Ivanna:Yeah, like he just got, like shot.
Toliy:Shot him.
Phillip:Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like what happened here, guys who did this? I was ready to have the drink and then I had it in my right hand and then I was like, okay, it's going here.
Eldar:And then here, let me put it in my left hand, and I didn't have the sip. Here's where we're going to engage Ivana.
Mike:Okay, oh shit, why the best, your true hashtag selves. I know where you're going with this Hashtag self.
Eldar:We're talking about being your true self, your best self, or whatever that is. The truth of the matter is we're drinking, and we're drinking a very specific scotch.
Eldar:I told you you're going to like this and Philip actually really, really, really loves this one and for some reason, every time he fucking drinks this yo, he has something good to say. It's a truth. So what I'm gonna say is here Ivana needs to go after this episode, reach out to this fucking whiskey company, tell them this. Listen, this is gonna be a very cheap endorsement it's $10,000 a month. We're gonna endorse what the fuck we're drinking. Yeah, because obviously we're drinking. To endorse what the fuck we're drinking, because obviously we're drinking some good fucking stuff.
Phillip:Do I have to create an OnlyFans and get naked, or no?
Mike:If you really want to, we can.
Toliy:That's the fun. If Ivana cannot secure the deal, then I can.
Eldar:We'll go that route, but I think Ivana actually is very good at what she does, so at least she can make a little pitch.
Phillip:I'll offer my body as a philanthropic hell Every episode.
Eldar:We do this every week.
Phillip:We get a lot of exposure.
Katherine:We don't take days off.
Eldar:Every week we do this shit. We shit pretty consistent. Every time Philip drinks this shit, he has something good to say. I'm talking like I'm not sure what I'm going to attribute to it, how good I am at this or how good this whiskey is.
Phillip:I think it's a combination of both. But also, if I'm going to do the OnlyFans, I want it to be where it's like a Burt Reynolds Playgirl calendar pose, where each month is strategically done and artistically done.
Eldar:We could get Tommy involved.
Toliy:You have to recreate it you have to recreate the jail scene from Tursky and the Hutch with the dragons. With the dragons.
Mike:I thought you were going to say money talks.
Eldar:What is this?
Mike:thing that's a dragon right there, alright, so listen, you don't have a job to do.
Eldar:We'll start with something small, you know 10 Gs is fucking Sure.
Phillip:That's no fucking money for us.
Eldar:You know what I'm saying? It's light work, no, but I'm not going to expose myself unless it's tastefully done?
Toliy:I don't know. Yeah, you're not really sure.
Eldar:You weren't really agreeing with Philip. Okay, but you were saying that.
Phillip:you know, is it me, is it the alcohol? Yeah, I think it's everything. So, okay, we're assessing me personally right, yeah sure. So I'm in an environment now where I do feel good I'm coming in here. Okay, you guys have me sit down today and look at TikTok and present it me. Sit down today and look at TikTok and present it, okay, for an hour. Okay, we're teaching a human being at a 38 year old human being.
Eldar:Hey, like wait what he just came in and his job was to just look at TikTok and then present what he learned. My job was to look at TikTok for two hours, sit in that seat and present it, Okay.
Phillip:This is my job today, so I understand my job. I understand where my mind's at today. So I understand my job. I understand where my mind's at and I understand like there's like different techniques as to where you're coming from. I think some of it is fun and like it's silly and you can laugh at it, but like I do think you guys are coming from a good place and you're analyzing me based off of what I give you and I think the more that I give you, the more that you can give me back. So I think in these scenarios where we're talking about philosophy, we're just sitting down, we're drinking and we're being free Okay, that is an element, but on a day-to-day basis, I come inside. I think you're also seeing a different element of me. Maybe there's some things that Come inside.
Eldar:no ditty Excuse me.
Phillip:Oh shit, I apologize. Yeah, so, going to the office, going to my computer, okay, like all that stuff. Okay, so you're seeing me on the phone, you're seeing me answering emails and like, okay, he's doing certain things a certain way and we have to maybe ask him, like, why he's doing things a certain way. We're asking, like, do you like this? Are you listening? Are you trying to educate? Are you just trying to sell? Like we're like re, I guessvigorating the idea of like is sales something that I do? Like? Do you know who you are? Like what's going on?
Eldar:So to me it's like a rattling your cage in an office setting in a place that I feel very, very comfortable.
Phillip:So to me, I think it's very hard at this stage for me personally to answer the question of is it alcohol, is it philosophy? I think there's a number at this stage for me personally to answer the question of is it alcohol, is it philosophy? I think there's a number of different places of where I'm at, where it's by myself, coming to the office, sitting down doing philosophy.
Eldar:Do you realize that all the sales calls that you have to take is on Friday night? I don't know when you were already drunk.
Phillip:I'll take them right now. You see this.
Eldar:Yeah, you understand this. No, I don't.
Mike:That's when he grows like a pair of bohonis. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Eldar:You said bohonis, what I'm listening to is crazy bro. You know, what I mean.
Phillip:Bohonis, john relax. Yeah, john relax, I got to yeah.
Mike:This is when you can?
Eldar:I'm drinking a whiskey. I'm a total nut.
Mike:Think about.
Phillip:OnlyFans. That's it.
Mike:Yeah, I guess you gotta come in on Mondays and just have a drink in the morning. Every day, five days a week, just have a drink first thing in the morning.
Phillip:I think one thing that did open me up was having the caffeine in the afternoon also, if I did start to have alcohol in the morning, I think then there would have to be here.
Toliy:So we hired Tommy full time to make espresso martinis. Yeah, okay.
Phillip:Then we have to go the other route, where I think then it would become. It has to be a YouTube channel, a TikTok channel. We have to start to monetize it, because I think then there would be, you know, more lack of clothes.
Eldar:Yeah very sexual type of behaviors. I can see the cousins seeing the dollar signs right here. Yeah, she's like yo how much you can make from this shit.
Phillip:Yeah, because if I'm starting to drink at 10 am. There's going to be a lack of clothes. There's going to be like an afternoon happy hour situation. And then, like you know, like what happens next after that, Am I able to get sales by 2 pm, so then I can go out and then be you know free, totally free.
Katherine:Yeah, a hooligan.
Phillip:Yeah, tonight I'm going to be a hooligan Mike going back to you, man.
Eldar:So relationships Should you be in one. Why should you be in one?
Mike:Well, the good news is that I'm confused than I was before. Wow.
Eldar:And that's a good indicator that you've learned nothing, that I've learned that I need to keep learning. Okay, good, this is great Okay wait.
Phillip:Wouldn't that be. If he's saying he's coming from a place of confusion, a place of want, and now he's confused, I think that's a telltale sign that that want of what he was talking about was not coming from a place of truth.
Mike:Maybe, no I don't know that's not a good indicator.
Eldar:It's a good sign that he wants to learn more. That's awesome.
Phillip:Sure, sure, but then it's a lot easier to say that coming from that place of want. It's easier to then tone that down a lot.
Eldar:Yeah, I agree.
Phillip:No or no If he truly believes this yeah.
Mike:For me, the want was definitely much stronger long, like you know, years ago. Oh, okay, very much. Yeah, you calmed down. Now I'm much more calm. Yeah, it's not like that crazy desperate want, but it's more like I want it, you're staying in your own lane.
Mike:You're enjoying your own lane. I am Working on myself, improving my own quality of life, getting better at everything that I'm doing, building better relationships, having better outcomes of different scenarios. I'm definitely enjoying that, yeah. So I think the next step is I guess I want to become capable of having that kind of relationship in my life.
Eldar:Yeah, in your life, like I, guess it's that.
Mike:The way I think about it is like, if you sit in like that funny example of like, the guy's like drowning and he's like yo, god, send me fucking help, you know he's asking God for help. Yeah, and the life raft, he's like, sends the ship. He's like I don't know God's going to save me. Yeah, like I'm at the, the place, like for me, it's like I want to learn how to actually understand, like you know, to understand more of like what I need to learn, you know, and it's also part of it is probably like the not knowing how to act, the freezing up thing that I have, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know, I don't know if it's like, um, I don't know if it's that or it's the other thing where it's like the fear. Yeah, it's driving me, yeah, it's understand that more.
Eldar:I mean, that's what we're talking about. I think we're talking about the carryover of of if we discovered something good here, right, the philosophy and your true self to be able to carry that over into the real life.
Phillip:But but with my, with Mike's example. I've seen it here, but I've also been out with him. I don't see what he talks about on the freeze element.
Eldar:It's inside of him.
Phillip:I don't see it though.
Mike:He's good at covering it. He likes hide and seek. No, I'm not covering it.
Phillip:I've seen this.
Eldar:I've pushed him in the pool. He's like yo, that girl is good. I'm like yo go say hi. He's like yo, you know what I mean. I'm like bro, you're not marrying her, bro, but he's like yo, I feel like I'm about to marry her. You know what I mean? Like that's, that's what goes in his mind, he can't even say compliment without freaking out.
Phillip:You know what I mean so you're saying that, like if I'm at a place and I'm out with him and I initiate the conversation, his level of comfort is different.
Eldar:But if I said to him hey, mike, you initiate the conversation you'll start smelling all that. That is different, yeah, ah, yeah, that that's the thing, and I don't.
Mike:The thing is, I don't understand why that is. You know why that I haven't seen that though.
Phillip:Well, yeah, yeah because I was talking to that one girl right and he was like texting with me that's because he wasn't involved. Then he saw me in my like, in my element, just kind of like talking. He was talking and I'm like okay, so I initiated it, or he has nothing to do with it. So the difference is him being initiated and me just kind of sitting back not having any involvement and then you're saying he's going to poop in his pants, poop in his pants.
Eldar:Yeah, yo final thoughts on this shit. Go Mike.
Mike:I got a lot to learn.
Eldar:I got a lot to learn what are your final thoughts on this man being trying to.
Phillip:So once you're exposed to this level of awareness, I'm not even thinking about going home and trying to take this and be that thing. I'm not even thinking about going home and trying to take this and be that thing.
Ivanna:I'm not even thinking about that Until you just said it.
Phillip:I haven't even thought about it. So, now that I am thinking about it, I am a person when I'm at home. I'm a person in philosophy. I'm a person when I'm at my desk. I'm a person when I'm with my family.
Mike:I'm a person when I'm with my friends.
Phillip:I'm a person when I'm at my desk. I'm a person when I'm with my family. I'm a person when I'm with my friends. I'm a person when I'm in a class. Do you realize why you're?
Eldar:attracted to acting or no? I'm sorry. What'd you say, toli?
Phillip:God damn it. Do you understand how many people I am? I think they call it.
Katherine:Multiple personality.
Eldar:Multiple personality.
Phillip:And now you're learning how to act, but I understand. So what I'm saying is that we're talking about being open, to being a level of aware.
Eldar:I'll pay $10,000 if you get a job as a salesperson. I love it. Sorry, not sorry, but yeah, to take all those worlds I love it.
Phillip:Sorry, not, sorry, no, I like it. Go ahead, yeah, but yeah, to take all those worlds or to take this best or truest version and put it into all those. It definitely is the start, because if I didn't have this or you're not exposed to people around you that are going to point these things out or give you the opportunity to at least learn, what they are, then you're just going to keep going about your life having these false, phony relationships.
Phillip:How many people are in corporate jobs and they're like I have a corporate voice and I talk a certain way. You know they talk a certain way and they talk a certain voice.
Mike:She has it right. I felt like she was doing the whole podcast.
Eldar:Oh yes, she was putting us under the gun.
Katherine:She had a pen and paper.
Toliy:I've never seen anything like it. She had that voice though.
Phillip:But you say this about me when.
Toliy:I'm on the phone.
Phillip:You're saying, philip, when you're on the phone you're a different person. So to me, the way that I look at now myself through the lens of your guys' feedback is that I go on the phone and I become somebody different.
Phillip:So, then it's like wait if I do start to gain curiosity, right, because I think even before awareness you have to start to get curious, right? Tully's asked me and he's saying like okay, if you do want to learn, like are you curious or you just want to fuck around? Like I had a look at TikToks today, like obviously there's a level of disconnect my level of like? Do I want to learn or? Am I curious and it's like wait maybe I'm at the fucking bottom of the barrel, yeah.
Eldar:You got to hang out with.
Phillip:Arshin Pan I'm scraping it with the paws, yeah.
Toliy:Yeah, I understand that that guy I spoke with yesterday. He told me to call him in three months and like he's just bullshit, he's completely unprepared. I suggested to him how about I reach out to you in January? And he's like, oh, january's good. I'm like, alright, well, let's go. Happy New Year.
Katherine:Yeah, Happy New Year. And I look and I'm like wait.
Toliy:I'm like wait, fuck, it's April, april 2nd. It was April 2nd.
Phillip:I've never heard anybody in my whole life. I heard people say Happy New Year late and then I heard like, like Larry David, be like okay there's only like two or three months where like, from January to like you have maybe February, maybe March, but it's pushing it and never heard anybody in April, be like, listen, I totally did it.
Eldar:Happy, happy, beloved happy pre, happy pre new year for 2025 happy new year for the 2024, and then happy pre.
Phillip:I never heard anybody talk like this, but the way that he says it though.
Eldar:He's having too much fun on the phone.
Phillip:So, there's, yeah, there's like a level of fun that he's having, where, like, I'm taking it so seriously, yeah, and where my level of attachment is, is that like I'm putting these people? In such a position of like oh, my God like you, my God you're so ahead of me it's like wait, it's because I'm coming from a place of trying to sell and I want something from you.
Phillip:If I get curious, I want to educate you and I start to actually learn what we do. Now I learned. Okay, I did a project. You're a complete idiot. I'm a complete idiot. Yeah, exactly, I'm trying to get something without actually knowing what it is, and I actually have to educate you. So how can I educate you if I don't know exactly what the process is and what this is all about?
Eldar:Have you been trying to stuff a watermelon down a water hose?
Phillip:Oh yeah, and I like watermelon.
Eldar:You're good at this kind of stuff, aren't you?
Phillip:I mean, politically speaking, I could do it. You had a really hard life, haven't you? Oh, I mean, how much time do we have?
Eldar:Yeah, all right good, it's good that you kept a sense of humor.
Phillip:Yeah, I mean, if you don't like when I do meet somebody, like if they do have a sense of humor, like sense of humor to me is like the opening gate Before we talk about curiosity, before you talk about awareness, like if you don't have a sense of humor, Like if you don't have a sense of humor, I think it's over for you For me girl, guy, professional, non-professional if you don't have a sense of humor, it's very, very hard to connect and then from that point I think then you can open up and start to understand somebody, but being serious all the time.
Phillip:So I think it's going to be hard to carry the personality that you see now, to go home and upkeep that thing with people that I don't know and a person that I'm just learning to unlock. I think, those expectations are really really high.
Eldar:So if they have a personality disorder thing, like you know, they have their split personalities, then they have bipolar or whatever. Sure, Do you have like a triple or quadruple polar If you were to like uh, I think, built in multiple personality would be that?
Phillip:Yeah, I don't think there's like be that. I don't think it's one or two that's multiple because you have to look at what is motivating you or what's driving you in those conversations and if it is how I am perceived by the other person you are going to try to be, a chameleon and mold yourself to each and every conversation.
Eldar:How many?
Phillip:different personalities, and how many different people are you around?
Eldar:You're a slave, moment to moment, to each conversation.
Phillip:Exactly so your parents, your friends, your workplaces intimate relationships random places, this, that, the other. Can you have fun with it? Probably not. I don't know.
Eldar:Bebe your final thoughts on what we posed in the beginning. Final thoughts.
Katherine:Philip wants to create an OnlyFans.
Eldar:Yeah it's very clear he's been living a quadruple life on.
Phillip:Instagram, they call it OF, though you can't say OnlyFans, because if you write OnlyFans on it, you get banned oh my god wow you have to say OF Interesting that you know that I heard.
Katherine:Interesting that you know it. Okay To summarize we went over some values. I don't know what to say, that's okay, yeah, yeah, because of sleeping, yeah.
Eldar:Oh, good morning, oh hey.
Ivanna:Hey, I'm still here. I would say that you shouldn't have to wait for adversity to learn self-awareness to be something that is done constantly, on a day-to-day.
Mike:Wow, I wish I could say that was profound. Thank you, thank you.
Eldar:Thank you.
Toliy:I don't have any final thoughts on this, but I do have a request for a new topic.
Eldar:All right, Mike. Please remember this for next week.
Toliy:I would like to talk about attachments.
Eldar:Attachments.
Toliy:All right.
Ivanna:I thought we did that. Do you often forget your attachments on emails?
Eldar:On emails? He definitely does.
Toliy:Yeah, if those were the only problems I had with attachments, then I would take it. Yeah, if those were the only problems. I had with attachments, then I would take it. Yeah, but I don't actually have that, because when you actually say that the word like attached in the email, it says like hey, you did an attach.
Phillip:Oh yeah, it does. It actually lets you know.
Toliy:Yeah, it lets you know before you send it.
Phillip:If we were able to have, like the Apple Vision Pro, like at all time we had like that chip inside and it let us know like, hey, you actually forgot your attachment or you're actually having an attachment to this moment right now. You want to let go of it? Yeah, and we can just press OK. Do you think that that can?
Mike:be a possibility.
Eldar:I think you can do it if you really want to, as long as you tell me that. I guarantee you, eldar, that by clicking OK, I will get the same human experience and benefits from making that choice. Yeah, human experience and benefits from making that choice.
Toliy:It sounds like it prevents human experience as a result of it.
Phillip:You have to be that person and you have to interact with everybody.
Eldar:I'm not sure if I'll be okay with getting the Matrix download of learning karate without learning karate. You know what I'm saying.
Toliy:It's like a removal of free will.
Eldar:Yes, is it interesting or no?
Phillip:saying like it's like a removal of free will. Yes, then you're a robot. Is it interesting or no?
Eldar:no, it's dangerous, it's dangerous, god damn it it's very scary just when.
Phillip:I thought I was going to say something cool. It's like no, no.
Toliy:I didn't think you thought it through no no, no listen.
Eldar:Philip, and I'm going to finish with these final thoughts about this. What you're talking about, and I think that what you ultimately want is you want control of desired outcomes.
Phillip:But isn't that?
Eldar:empowerment. No, that starts with awareness. I'm going to go back to that First. If you have the ability to be aware of your situation, of the world around you, then comes in, like Toli said a choice, or would you call that? No, you said choice. No, I said choice. You said he said something else, but it's a choice. You realize that. Look, I'm in pain. I have a choice now. I can go left or I can go right. Sure, you might not have all the knowledge. Oh, chance now.
Toliy:I can go left or I can go right. Sure.
Eldar:You might not have all the knowledge. Oh, chance, chance, yeah, you have a chance to make it better. Sure, you know what I mean and I think that's a very important empowering trait that we have the ability to tap into. As soon as we develop this awareness, I think we have the ability to liberate ourselves and really experience true happiness. You know what I mean and really understand what does it mean to be truly human and empowered in such a way where it's like the outcomes are actually within reach, versus just some dream state that we're like oh, I really want to be this one day or that one day.
Eldar:I think it's as soon as you develop awareness of yourself, of the pains that you have, you make a choice. You have a choice in the matter of to choose and hopefully, you surround yourself around truth and knowledge and everything else so you can make the better choice. So then, when you do act in the real world like you want to, right outside of this philosophy bubble, you actually get the outcomes that you want and deserve, based on the truth and knowledge that you've learned. Like totally on that phone call when he's fucking toying with the client by telling him happy new year on April.
Phillip:Yeah, so when I see that, what I see is the way that Tully describes the work to me. He enjoys the work a lot, so I think.
Eldar:He's trying to master his family dynamic now because he has problems with his family and anxiety. It's the same shit he learned how to. He used to have anxiety for work. Yeah, we broke that, we achieved that. Now he's trying to break that for his family and so forth and so forth and so forth. So ultimately, he needs to take over the world, his world. Yeah, yeah, so he can. Like mike said, with awareness, you can have always predicted outcomes that come your way, that are chosen by you, and that is a fucking godly experience.
Toliy:so, yeah, I would say that I I at one point probably had four to five times the level of anxiety I have now for for needing to like speak or say something.
Phillip:Yeah, you see. So you would say that it's easily predictable, based off of my behavior, how you think my outcomes would be from your perspective.
Eldar:Well, yeah, for me, yeah, it's easy for me to see, based on what I'm seeing, I'm observing and stuff like that. But it's also based on what you believe and how you act. Like, how you think Right now you're here. That's why I told you I called you stupid there, I called you very smart and like, wow, I'm surprised by what you're able to speak here and talk about and how you express yourself. Like, to me, that's like fascinating. The funny part is, you don't see that and that's crazy, which to me, it's crazy, crazy, but it's like, if I really think about it, it's not. It's supposed to be crazy, but it's not crazy at all. Uh, you are a sinner and you have to keep suffering from that which you so.
Phillip:So I was told by people that, um, that I that I grew up with, whether I dated them or was friends, that they didn't want to give me compliments because they thought that it would get to my head and they thought that it would add to my ego. Yeah, so people that I was around, I'm very rarely, if ever, used to people giving me genuine compliments.
Eldar:Well, I'm giving you a compliment right now but I'm also shooting you down on the other side too.
Phillip:I get it, but when you give me compliments, I'm not used to getting a compliment.
Eldar:Yeah, but I'm genuine and I see what I see. Yeah, it yeah, but I'm genuine and I see what.
Phillip:I see, yeah, and I feel what I feel. I wholeheartedly believe this. Yeah, I'm not saying that you don't, but I'm just saying, coming from that place, I think it. That's why I was asking you is it easy for you to see the disconnect between me being here and me talking here?
Eldar:and then, like what you think the outcome is going to be it's a crazy disconnect.
Phillip:It's a crazy disconnect, see, like for me, unless you bring it up to me or you're saying hey, philip, I see you acting a certain way here. I see you acting a certain way here. This is the disconnect. If you don't point that out to me, it's very, very hard for me to see that.
Toliy:That's why I mean it supports what you were saying before. We were talking about the infection has gotten through the interaction with humans, but then, like the liberation and like the cure is also, I think through there as well because he's saying that he would never see or understand any of this.
Phillip:A squirrel is never going to talk to me like this and I like squirrels. I have a squirrel outside that's my friend. He eats from my bird feeder. Yeah, and I interact with him almost on a daily basis. We don't maybe make eye contact, but he appreciates me, I appreciate him, that's it. But we don't influence and affect each other.
Eldar:On a deeper level. Yeah, Does that make sense or no? Yeah, it does. It does All right, guys. Well, again, thank you so much for this fucking great episode. Ivana, thank you for being a guest on it.
Ivanna:Of course. Thank you for having me.
Eldar:Come again, Yep. Good job guys. Thanks for watching.