124. What's actually making you sick and eventually kills you.

What if you could live a more fulfilling life by embracing your true self, even at the risk of offending others? In our latest episode, we challenge societal expectations and explore the delicate balance between authenticity and social niceties. Through personal anecdotes, we examine the pitfalls of being overly polite and how it can lead to misunderstandings and disingenuous relationships. Toliy's blunt honesty contrasts with Kat's evolving attitude towards authenticity, offering a nuanced view on how to navigate social interactions without losing oneself.

We then tackle the ethical responsibility of speaking up in conversations where misinformation or harmful perspectives are being shared. Drawing parallels to the bystander effect, we emphasize the importance of assertiveness and challenging prevailing ideas for the greater good. Through intentional stances, we discuss how meaningful dialogue can be provoked, encouraging a deeper understanding and fostering a culture of truth and integrity. The conversation underscores the necessity of engaging in difficult conversations and standing firm in your beliefs.

Lastly, we embark on a profound journey toward understanding and enlightenment. We explore the concept of the soul's recollection and its intrinsic connection to truth and emotion. Personal experiences reveal how the relentless pursuit of knowledge and clarity can lead to a fulfilling life. We reflect on the significance of articulating one's truths and standing behind them, even when perceived as a 'bad guy.' Tune in as we unravel the importance of living close to the truth and how it aligns us with a purpose-driven existence, cultivating respect, loyalty, and deeper connections.

we on X

Transcript

Toliy: 0:00

On this week's episode. Doctors have lied to us this whole time. The process of you not being yourself is the number one killer for all people. Wow.

Eldar: 0:12

You see, we can still trust I don't know God, nature or the way things are that that which is inside of all of us carries truth or justice, whatever you want to call it, but it's in all of us. Everybody's saying the same shit. Bro, there you go my job, my car, my wife, my relationship, my friends, my family, yeah some bullshit.

Eldar: 0:30

Nobody's saying anything new, bro. No, it's all the same shit and it's all coming from the same source. Yep, ignorance, all right. This week's question is do we owe the people that we interact with right, our authentic selves at all times, or strive to present our authentic selves to the individuals that we hang out with, that we talk with, that we frequently hang out with? Do we, and should we, strive to always introduce or present our authentic selves? I think that a lot of people get into the rhythm or get into the habit of being so quote unquote again being a nice guy or presenting a very cordial self, right, when it comes to communications, and I think that that is a culprit of a lot of disingenuous relationships, right, I think that that can be the start of a lot of misunderstandings in communication, right, and really not getting anywhere in those conversations. So I think that the topic for today should be should we and how do we, you know, strive to always present our true selves and who we are? Right? And I think that, at least in this room, right?

Eldar: 1:56

I know Toli, for example, is very strongly opinionated about some of this stuff. Maybe he's not always right about things, but nonetheless he's very strong about some of the stuff. Maybe he's not always right about things, but nonetheless he's very strong about some of the topics that he carries right, that are very maybe judgmental, right Harsh, straight to the point, right. But a lot of times, when it falls on the new people or even the family right, it's taken as like oh shit, like he's a jerk or whatever, right, but the truth of the matter is he's coming across as truthful as possible, he's being himself, even though it hurts sometimes for some people, and I think that I mean that's just an example.

Eldar: 2:33

However, I also know totally who goes into new settings and completely puts that on the shelf. That personality, that authentic self, that true self that he is right, that personality, that authentic self, that true self that he is right. So the question is, should we always strive to bring out that authentic self in those types of conversations and do we actually owe the individual that we are speaking with or in engagement with right, this true self that is inside of us, or should we just go with the flow and just be cordial and not really dive deep on the inside so we don't offend anyone? You know, we just kind of prolong the surface level relationship. What do you guys think?

Toliy: 3:13

yeah, well, I mean I agree with you as far as like the new settings, but I definitely try to do that less now no, no, I know you are of course yeah, I generally don't think I do that. Now, what go into new settings? You just avoid new settings completely. Oh, you are, of course. Yeah, I generally don't think I do that. Now, what go into new settings?

Eldar: 3:27

No well, you just avoid new settings completely.

Toliy: 3:30

No, I just don't go into very many new settings in general. But I'm saying that I try to be as best I can like, not different, you know, or try to be.

Eldar: 3:43

What I was saying.

Toliy: 3:44

A pen was in the window, so looking at it was very funny yeah, just try it to be the same, even if it's, I guess, somewhat offensive.

Eldar: 3:55

But I guess we have your example more specifically is about people that, like, are not in our circle, that we see sometimes we don't like really have a close.

Toliy: 4:05

I think it's everyone, Mike.

Eldar: 4:06

I think it's everyone, it's our closest people Like us. Number one, right, I mean, I think we give ourselves our authentic selves more than anyone, I think. Our families, I think is a big one. You know what I mean. I try to do that with my mom, you know.

Eldar: 4:24

You know it's because I have a lot of interactions with her, you know what I mean, so like I don't shy away from being blunt, you know, and straightforward, and obviously a lot of the times I'm in a bad son camp in her mind, you know, yeah, um, when she doesn't see things clearly, you know, but I'm okay with that. You know what I mean and um, but I'm also guilty sometimes where I'm a little bit, uh, too cordial in the new settings myself, where a lot of times we have some of the friends that you know, mutual friends that we are like kind of biting our tongue because I don't know why. Actually, that's funny. I think that's because Kat has been like installing this for you a long time. She's like yo, elder, you got to behave, you got to behave, yeah.

Toliy: 5:00

So I'm not saying that's where it's from, but I think it's in those areas.

Eldar: 5:03

And some of the friend circles that she's been doing that she's turned it down a little bit and she's turning now and I'm like going to these little events or whatever barbecues or whatever and I'm expressing myself the way I want to and I see that she's no longer like hey, calm down. Well, I think, because she also now realized, introducing her true self. Yes, she's like okay then she's no longer.

Toliy: 5:24

She can't put you in this thing.

Eldar: 5:25

Yeah, she's not people pleasing anymore or trying to at least.

Eldar: 5:28

so, yes, so that definitely is helping me as well, yeah, but, like I said, I still have certain circles like me and you both have right where a lot of times, like I, would bite my tongue and I would not say certain offensive things even though I know like, hey, this probably would offend this person. We probably have some kind of rift because of this. But now I'm also trying to do my best to be able to open up that can of worms as well, because sooner or later I'm going to be internally not happy, right? So that's what I want to lead to. Like, hey, what actually happens when we're not true, authentic selves Even sometimes we may be wrong, right?

Eldar: 6:02

Number one I think that we hinder our own learning experience and then we also punk out and we don't actually extract the happiness that we can extract when we're our true selves. You know what I mean? I think that there's, and also the other person doesn't get your true self, so they don't actually benefit as well. So there's no authenticity. That's going back and forth at all in these types of relationships. So you're kind of prolonging the inevitable. Sooner or later, maybe the ignorant person will ham-hog the conversation, ham-hog the whole situation, and one or the other person will start feeling uncomfortable, like, hey, why am I hanging out with this person? They're saying this wild shit. I don't understand why they're saying this. I don't want to hear this. I disagree with this, right. But a lot of times you find yourself biting your tongue and not saying anything, but when you actually should have said something. Right.

Eldar: 6:51

So I think that's probably happening because we never had a conversation about it. Yeah, so we've never taken a stance on it.

Eldar: 7:04

So I think, that's why we're undecided. What was the right thing to do? You never maybe gave it the right attention to figure out what is the right thing to do, you know? No, but like I've already switched that on a long time ago for myself. But certain people still get some kind of a weird pass from me. You know what I mean. Like there is some kind of like that I go through or whatever. Certain people get this, certain people don't. You know what I mean. Obviously, I don't want that. I want consistency and character for myself as well, of course, despite the fact that you know some relationships will be severed and I'm okay with that. You know, like that's also my belief system. I'm okay with those relationships being severed. So then I should always keep consistency there. That's when I feel the best. Number one it's a selfish thing. You know what I mean, because I don't want to be somebody I'm not.

Toliy: 7:47

I'm going to have to piggyback off of what you're saying all there. I'm going to have to make a very controversial claim right now. It's going to upset a lot of people, which you like to do, I like to do yeah.

Eldar: 8:01

It's going to be very offensive, you even have to adjust your mic it's going to be very offensive.

Toliy: 8:06

This might be one of the all time worst, but it's like heat cutting the grease right it's like you have to cut the grease this is actually like you having a pan of grease and throwing it in people's eyes, oh wow fine do it.

Toliy: 8:22

Doctors have lied to us this whole time. The number one leading cause of death is not being yourself. Wow, really yes, because I think the process of you not being yourself is the number one killer for all people. It causes you tons of stress, it drains you, it makes you tired, it makes you upset, it makes you feel all kinds of feelings and emotions that you would not have felt if you were just being yourself Wow so you by not being yourself.

Toliy: 9:05

You kill yourself slowly and you reduce the amount of time that you'll live and however much time that you do have on this earth. It will not be very pleasant, because you never got to live out the life that you wanted to to begin with, I cannot disagree with that at all.

Eldar: 9:24

Wow, and you're saying that's probably the leading cause. I mean that that's the most stress inducing variable here, probably.

Toliy: 9:31

yeah, holy shit like if I told you okay.

Toliy: 9:36

I never thought about it that way, but now, the more I'm sitting with it, I think I'm going to come to that same conclusion yeah, like if you think about like a whole day and that whole day is like, if you think about like a whole day and, um, that whole day is like you doing things whatever let's say, hanging out with people lit, like living your life. Yeah, and you are not yourself that day, like you are not being yourself. Like what did you do that day?

Toliy: 10:01

yeah, bro you had to you have a calculated effort, yeah to pretend to be someone you're not, to watch what you say, to yeah, um, yeah, just overall. Again, like, like, live out a life that you're not, yeah, acting out, which is one a lot of work because it's not like a natural, and again, you're probably stressed out before, during and after.

Eldar: 10:27

Wow.

Toliy: 10:28

Which I cannot see that being good towards health.

Eldar: 10:32

No.

Toliy: 10:32

Long-term or short-term health. And if we think about a majority of people in most cases they are not themselves, they're afraid to say something. They have to act a particular way.

Eldar: 10:44

They have to put up a particular front.

Toliy: 10:46

Whatever it is that is hard work.

Eldar: 10:49

That is fucking hard work, bro. Listen, I knew how important this is. I didn't know how important it was to that level. What you're saying, yeah, you know what? Because, like I said, tomorrow we're going to a barbecue, right, and we're meeting new people, and I already have my mindset set, you know what I mean. Like I'm going to have fun. You know what I'm saying. Like I don't give a fuck, you know, and because of that, I'm going to enjoy myself and because of that, I'm going to laugh. I'm going to laugh, I'm going to smile more. I'm just going to just enjoy myself more, and obviously that is stress reducing, it's not stress inducing. You know what I'm saying?

Toliy: 11:30

Yeah, Now take the opposite scenario. You got the speech. You had to act a certain way. You were at this place for a prolonged period of time. Are you going to be cranky after you just spent five, six hours?

Eldar: 11:46

let's just say about not being yourself having to watch what you say, this and that the only thing I'm worried about is probably holding a fart or two. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, even that I'm going to We'll be outside.

Toliy: 11:56

We'll be outside playing times, right yeah, we can fart up a storm.

Eldar: 12:00

Because my shit's been bad.

Toliy: 12:01

Yo, it's been stinking pretty bad, yeah, because my shit's been bad yo, it's been stinking pretty bad. Yeah, like are you gonna have? Yeah good relationships with people. Like like forget during right, like if you're like whatever right, but like afterwards, like you're gonna be cranky, you're gonna be angry. Yeah, you're gonna be upset, you're gonna be feeling certain ways, yeah right. Yeah, like, how does that have a toll on on physical health? Like a hundred percent. No, you're a hundred percent right. You get the knots in your stomach, yeah, you start feeling certain.

Eldar: 12:25

you're nervous, you're a hundred percent right. You get the knots in your stomach.

Toliy: 12:26

Yeah, you start feeling certain, you're nervous, you're anticipating.

Eldar: 12:28

It's just an unpleasant feeling when you have to listen to a person who's rambling and you'd be trying to be nice by not saying anything, yeah, but internally it's like you're just fed up, yeah. Yeah, of course you know person that we're talking about many times has happened. Because, like, I can't relate to what you're saying, yeah, but also disagree with your like most of the shit that you are saying, with the stuff you're saying, but also the approach you're taking about blaming the outside world, yeah. Or thinking that the world's against you, or like thinking that like it's not in your control, yeah, all the shit you are learning and you are practicing, like the empowerment and stuff, just completely goes against that. Yeah, you know. So if you don't really speak your mind or actually go towards that right to challenge that individual, then you're hurting yourself as well, absolutely, and you're also not doing justice to that individual. So everybody loses and like totally say you just fucking become a ball of stress, yeah.

Eldar: 13:23

So I'd like to understand, uh, like the justice towards other person. I know it's not, but can we explain it like, uh, where is it the wrong? Well, yeah, I think that what happens is right. If the if you somehow are not yourself within a conversation, right, and you're allowing the other person to just kind of hammer the conversation, you witnessing the wrongdoing, like you said. Let's just assume that you're correct about your observation that the individual has the wrong worldview and you're not saying anything, you're doing injustice to that person. It becomes like a bystander effect, right, like hey, like nobody's gonna say anything and just kind of like whatever, just kind of is gonna happen, right, it's like you see, in a crime committed but you just standing silently, yeah, you, you think that like somebody else might call or somebody else might do something about it, right?

Eldar: 14:20

yeah but nobody ever does right it. Almost it falls on you to do something. That's the justice that I think that it's important to think about. So yeah, I guess if the person is committing that crime against himself, yeah, you should make him aware of it. But no see if the crime is being committed against themselves you're not obligated.

Eldar: 14:45

You're not obligated. You're not obligated, but as soon as that starts going towards you if the person's conversing with you and starts making claims and stuff like that that don't really apply you already have the pass to actually speak, to voice your opinion, and that's perfectly fine. But the thing is, a lot of times the consequences are what? Right, if there's so polar opposites views, right, there's going to be a clash. There's going to be a clash and I think the individual who has the truth should be okay with that clash, should be okay with ruffling some feathers and being the bad guy or being on the island, right, or being misunderstood and stuff like that. You know.

Toliy: 15:27

Yes, guy, or being on the island right, or being um misunderstood and stuff like that, you know, yes, yeah, I think in those kind of cases, like if you go into like a setting or like a new setting, or just like you know, any of those kinds of things I almost feel that, like early on, it's okay to be um very arrogant for a bit, because when you do that and it's so blatant, like that, I think that you get the attention of others and now those people want to fight back.

Eldar: 15:53

And now, because they want to fight back, you can have a conversation where, if, like you might be saying something, you're trying to lure them into a fight you could be saying something that makes sense.

Toliy: 16:03

But if you say it in a very cordial, nice way, I don't know if it's going to be heard like that or like understood like that, but if you start being like a little igg in the beginning, right.

Eldar: 16:13

Yeah.

Toliy: 16:13

Very arrogant about something. Yeah Right, like, like, no, we're talking about this is the absolute best, that's it. Yeah Right, you take a strong stance. It definitely is a bit arrogant, but it's like an intentional arrogance to get attention Because it's been proven, I think, in the world that very strong stances, in whatever direction good, bad, whatever they get people's attention. Right, people want to know, they want to know what different people say, right, all this stuff. So you're using that kind of tactic to get attention to then invite a conversation.

Eldar: 16:52

Yeah, that's your hook. Yeah, that's your hook. And then you'll hear that people pop out like oh, what the hell was that all about?

Eldar: 17:00

they start making faces, they start, you know, sighing, or they start huffing and puffing and and really want to challenge you know jump into the thing, yeah, yeah so, yeah, it is your duty if you know you ought to speak out, because you know at the end, like totally said, like hey, like it's, it's detrimental to your health and I agree with that do you think that your stance about this has changed over time?

Toliy: 17:28

No, I was always leaning towards this.

Eldar: 17:30

What do you mean? How did it change in the sense of what Go down? No, no, no, it's solidified more and more?

Toliy: 17:37

Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Did you feel that maybe like, because I think I remember us talking about similar things like this, that maybe like, because I I think I remember us talking about similar things like like this, uh, like I don't know, maybe let's let's say like five or six years ago, yeah, and I I think that your stance on this now is more solidified than like yeah before.

Eldar: 17:58

Yeah, probably yeah yeah, for sure, I mean. But also, I'm also empowered with a thing where it's like I'm not sure if anyone can take the conversation, if I'm having a one-on-one conversation or whatever in the group to a place where it's going to be productive, interesting, funny, better than myself. That's how I feel a lot of the times, right, and if that's the case, I'm not going to allow someone else to ham, hock me into a direction, or I shouldn't at least allow for this to take place, because I'm the one who's empowered. I'd like to go to a place, and I think that the place that I'm going to lead it to is going to be beneficial for all the people involved. Right, totally so.

Eldar: 18:41

It's not like I'm just shooting in the dark here, right, right, totally so. It's not like I'm just shooting in the dark here, right, and I think what we talked about before is interesting too is that every person my statement from before every person has an agenda to brainwash you or recruit you into their understanding Right, into their, into their worldview of things, because they think they know better, right, yeah, yeah, I think so. You know, I'm saying it harshly, right, brainwash, no, but I think it could be that, but also, a lot of times, sell you on it.

Eldar: 19:17

It could be that, like a lot of times, people just want to complain or vent too. So they might not be trying to sell you, they just want to let out all the frustrations. But nonetheless, even that is a sort of recruitment, it's a sort of a worldview that they try to. They want you to line up with their truth, correct, okay, so that's the recruitment. Well, not their truth with their opinion or whatever it is that they're going through.

Toliy: 19:38

What they believe in, their subjective truth. Yeah, their truth Not like the truth, not the truth.

Eldar: 19:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So because of that, right, I am very I mean, I think everybody should be very sensitive to this. You know what I mean, because as soon as you develop critical thinking and you've empowered yourself to have the ability to lead a conversation and go to a place where you want it to go, you should be wary about where somebody else can take it. Right? Why would you want to get ham-hogged by someone else's nonsense, right? And we have plenty of examples, like your uncle spewing ignorant shit, our friends spewing ignorant shit, and they want to lead the conversation, they want to be loud about it. Right, they want to show like they know something. You know what I mean. Like, oh, we should line up with them. Like what they're doing is that they're brainwashing us. Or, like I said, they want to apply their worldview, their understanding, upon others, that they're listening to them, and I don't think that's okay. You know what I mean. I don't think that's right, you know? So, obviously, if I have a worldview that I feel like is better or more attractive, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna push it and I should. You know what I'm saying because I, you know, let's see if your worldview is better, let's go. Let's go at it. Let the two worldviews uh clash and see where we come out.

Eldar: 21:00

So I think this is a very important topic, mike. Yeah, it is very important, but I think Tully solved it well. Tully made a crazy statement, I agree with it. I agree with it. This might be the lead cause of all the sicknesses and stuff like that, because if it's rooted in stress, we already know what stress does, right. Stress kills, obviously right. And a lot of times, why we experience stress in the first place is because there's some kind of cognitive dissonance. Well, we're going against ourselves, correct. A lot of times we're going.

Toliy: 21:37

This is one of the biggest ways we think one thing thing, but it's really not and we're going against the truth, right, or the reality, I mean, just like how things are. Try try to outline me a bad life. Or like a painful life where you are full-time, who you are I can't, I can't, you're right like if every day you are who you are are you then?

Eldar: 22:02

let me ask you a personal question then. Uh, are you then an avoidant of like social settings because of this, because you can't really be your true selves in those settings. Like, are you doubting yourself a lot of the times because you are avoiding of it?

Toliy: 22:20

No, no, no, Like I have no problem going for example. No, no, I'm not talking about tomorrow's I I I've no problem going for example, like no no, I'm not talking about tomorrow's example.

Eldar: 22:27

Yeah, I'm talking about a lot of the times, right? I just at least you versus Mike, who's much more of a social butterfly, right? If you were to compare, who says yes, more Mike, obviously says by far a lot more than you do. I'm wondering whether or not, internally, you have some kind of defense mechanism to protect yourself because of the fact that you yet to be able to express yourself truly who you are and to just enjoy that which is happening.

Toliy: 22:56

Maybe at times, yeah, maybe at times, yeah, okay, yeah, I think at times also doesn't like sound like like a very fun like scenario, like, even if I can, I guess at times like I didn't have desire well, I don't think you should have desire or any fun because you're not empowered to have that right. No, I'm saying that like, even even if I am right, like yeah, I guess um, at times it doesn't sound so fun versus like uh, but that's the thing, the fun.

Eldar: 23:32

Let's then talk about fun. Who's creating the fun? Then we sell ourselves short, telling ourselves that we can't have fun or we, this is not. This doesn't sound like it's a good idea, because we, we are going out of, uh, maybe a schema that we have created for ourselves. Like, I'm this type of person, I am this guy, I like the color blue, I don't like it when it rains, and that's it. You know what I mean. Like, if that doesn't work out, that means the weather is bad, that means I'm not coming outside, right. So you have that schema in your head. If things don't align, don't have a checkbox, we sell ourselves short, say that we're not going to have fun. But the truth of the matter is, if you are empowered, it doesn't matter what. It is right, you can always pivot. If this is bad, okay, how can we figure this out? And I think having that type of attitude is obviously nicer and better for you to then prevent stress, you know. So you can have fun at any kind of moment, right?

Toliy: 24:23

yeah, that it's also keeping keeping the open mind, or we talked about yeah, I'm, I'm maybe like for a long time agreed with like doing this, but maybe found found that at times difficult to implement. Like, uh, yeah, that exact type of world, yeah, where you do that because it's like a very like uh, it creates for a very particular type of environment. I guess you know, yeah, but because especially like the way that I guess we typically do that, because it's like a very like uh, it creates for a very particular type of environment.

Toliy: 24:45

I guess you know yeah, but because, especially like the way that I guess we typically do things and think about things yeah, versus like what you generally see out there, it's very like a conflicting uh, it is scenario.

Eldar: 25:00

It is very. It is but anytime, anytime that you guys give me a testimony of how you went into the world right and you implemented your true selves and you went to the challenging route, the trawling route right and have fun with the world and the people around them.

Eldar: 25:17

You guys always came back with sick stories, with good stuff yeah, you know what I mean all the time, you know. And because you actually implemented that which you believe in, that which is fun, you know, and therefore you had fun. So, yeah, this is a bigger than I thought, especially the way you put it totally yeah that if you don't practice your true self right at all times, you most likely are causing yourself more stress and taking away from your longevity, your life.

Toliy: 25:55

But is that?

Eldar: 25:55

because we haven't solidified or haven't taken a stance on who's going to be our true self. Well, yeah, I think that totally. Again, he sees the clash of the worlds very clearly. I do too, yeah, but I'm head on with it. I love it. I love it. You know what I mean. Like, my problem more so is maybe the memory, sometimes, like I forget. Maybe I'm on autopilot. Yeah, right, I don't have the fear, because as soon as I find it, like with a friend, I was like I'm done, I'm speaking out, I'm talking shit, that's it, I'm done. I just need to figure that out, see it for what it is and know my strategy. And I'm going behind. I'm standing behind my truth, but I'm excited, I become more excited. I want to hang out even more then more than you know and be around because now I'm having more fun.

Eldar: 26:44

Maybe the other person is not yet having fun, but sooner or later, if they adopt my world view, they will have fun. But if they don't, then I mean we're gonna clash and that's okay, because I think that's a battle for the world views. At the end of the day, who's gonna oppress who in those interactions? That's it. That's how I see it. Do you like totally? Do you like um?

Eldar: 27:13

Do you like because of that person I guess they're like with or with the ignorance they have in that specific, in a specific subject. Do you like rule them out, that that you can't kind of like um, have a conversation that you would like to engage in? Like um, that our friend, he's very ignorant when it comes to certain things, but he's also pretty intelligent when it comes to other things and I, I guess I'd like to hear his opinion sometimes. I mean, I'm speaking about it in general that he does know he's knowledgeable about and he can explain to me some things, or that he can be, we can have an interesting conversation, you know yeah, maybe I'm more in the line of like if you guys are down for this war, then I'm definitely down to participate, you know kind of thing.

Toliy: 28:00

But if that's not done, then yeah, for me it's just like a weird awkward Waste of time. Yeah, Because, I know that like, okay, we're kind of here, it's like almost like being like, it's like recreating a setting where you're a little kid and you're going to your parents friend's house, that you don't want to go to begin with because it's not fun there yeah, you know, and then you're just like fuck, we have to go to, like why are we here?

Toliy: 28:26

we have to. We have to go to like uncle jack's house. You know, like huh man, like yeah when are we leaving? Yeah, like when are we leaving?

Toliy: 28:33

you know, yeah, like I would, I would. I would say it's like a similar type of feeling to that, but, um, like, but maybe I've been like uh timid and like uh starting these kinds of things, but like I feel like whenever elder has asked me to like participate, when we're already in it, I mean I'm always oh, yeah, no, yeah, I mean, you know, we, we, like easily roll off of it.

Eldar: 28:55

Yeah, together, yeah last week.

Toliy: 28:57

To me it was a good example. You know, we easily roll off of it.

Eldar: 29:02

Yeah, yeah. Last week to me it was a good example. You know of that. Yeah, last podcast. You mean, yeah, last podcast. Yeah, yeah, so is this super important, or what Sounds like it's fucking crazy important?

Toliy: 29:16

When it comes to interactions with others, if you're going to have them, yeah, like, yeah, like, yeah, yeah, going forward. It's either you act this way or you don't have, or correct if you're not ready yet, right.

Eldar: 29:26

If you're scared or whatever, yeah, stay home, don't, right, avoid unnecessary pain for what you know what I mean?

Toliy: 29:35

obviously, yeah, if you don't know yet, but if you are and if you're trying to go out there, you gotta be your best self, right, your true self yeah, but see, I almost feel that like, like, it's like, um, if you're gonna go do it, it's impossible to like actively think about this kind of stuff and then and then not like act on it, because it's like the, the increase in pain becomes exponentially.

Eldar: 29:58

I agree, the seed is planted. You already know the truth, you're gonna yeah, yeah it's very hard, it's gonna be impossible to like not see it for what it is. Yeah, yeah, but me, you, mike, we don't really struggle with it like you always find a way to have a deeper conversation than what it is. You know what I mean. Very rarely do we find individuals that really take us over with their nonsense. Well this guy. He's strong with it.

Eldar: 30:22

He is yeah, he's very like, but he's also, but he's also weak, he's also weak, yeah, so yeah, but I think we for some reason gave him the pass. You yeah, you know, uh, but I think that's done, it's done.

Toliy: 30:39

Yeah, the gig's up, yeah, yeah, I think it's. It might be a scenario like if they're doing something for you, then it's difficult. It's more difficult to act in that kind of way.

Eldar: 30:53

No, you see, I see it the other way. Now. I almost feel like if they're doing something for you, it's even more important.

Toliy: 31:00

No, yeah, but I'm saying is that like I think that's why it's been that way for a long time? Yeah, but it's a wrong perception. Yeah, because I think it's like a maybe, like a small like indebted thing yeah like they've done favors for you. Therefore, you have to listen to them yeah therefore, you have to kind of be no, not even listen to them, be nicer. Well, that's what I'm saying. Listen to the nonsense.

Eldar: 31:19

If they're speaking nonsense, yeah, that shouldn't be the case. No, that shouldn't be the case.

Toliy: 31:26

Yeah, it's like, for example, Then you're almost being fake, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like maybe a more easier or like active scenario. It's like if your dad is going to your house and like he's helping you with things, yeah, and you're kind of like not being yourself because you're afraid to like offend them or something like that, or like do that, like you're more likely to, I think, act in a different way if he's doing things like for you, doing favors and stuff like that.

Toliy: 32:04

Yeah, but again, again, then that's a psychological fucking play, a manipulative play. That was not even that. I think it's a, it's a like if you do that for the long term, and that's what's happening, it's more of like a sellout play, yeah, like it's like you saying okay, like I'm gonna take their help, yeah, and I'm gonna take the bullshit right.

Toliy: 32:14

Yeah, when they're like again, when you evaluate it, like like you gotta make a decision as to what, what you wanna do. Do you wanna like act this kind of way and get this like it's like a. It becomes like a, like a dirty scenario, a chore almost yeah and like it becomes like a not feeling good scenario. I agree. Again, you're talking about stress.

Eldar: 32:37

Yeah, and internally you feel a certain type of way. Yeah.

Toliy: 32:40

Family is like a big one because you spend like a good amount of time with them, but they also kind of like they don't mess with a lot of the stuff that like we're doing.

Eldar: 32:51

Yeah.

Toliy: 32:52

Like in that kind of way, right, but they give so much opportunity. But yeah, they give so much opportunity. But yeah, they give so much opportunity because they, um, because like family's like more like uh, comfortable with one another, so I think they're more likely to like either like disrespect, or act ignorantly, like very openly.

Toliy: 33:08

Yeah, right, um. So I think that you have a lot of opportunity to like, um, see those things and then act on them. Yeah, yeah, um, and at the end of the day, like it's like on an opposite spectrum, but like, if you think about it, the most ignorant person is like probably the most authentic in that moment. Right, yeah, you're right. Right, like when he's talking about his stuff. Yeah, like he's kind of being himself and he's just pushing that on you. There you go.

Eldar: 33:41

They're ignorantly being themselves, so why?

Toliy: 33:42

not, you do the same.

Eldar: 33:44

Because the disparity is so big. Yeah.

Toliy: 33:48

I feel like it needs to be a switch of like. The definition of offensive needs to be redefined. For you, yeah, for you to act like this, because it's like, if you don't do that, that's like or like. I think it'll be hard to consistently do it Because, like, what is offensive? Yeah.

Eldar: 34:12

I also think a lot of times especially Elder, a lot of times use trolling you to, uh, to have fun with the people who are, yeah, acting this way. Yes, and that's one of the tactics or one of the tools that I use for sure, yeah, that you know, kind of try to bridge the gap between, like okay, I'm gonna have fun, but this is ignorant person and I'm gonna try to get there and try to pull on their strings, but I think so through the trolling, you can actually get to where you can have a deep conversation for sure, for sure, definitely.

Eldar: 34:44

It's one of those things where, like it's almost like my testing phase, like let's see where, where this guy's at, you know whoever I'm having conversations with, but ultimately, or whoever I'm having conversations with, but ultimately I want to have a real conversation Ultimately, where, if the individual is clearly suffering from something and I clearly see it for what it is and I'm able to give back to this person, I want them to perk up their ears and be like, okay, cool, I'm down to listen so that I can be my true self, bring out the best self of myself and be able to really pay attention to what they're saying and then give them good, proper, truthful feedback of whatever it is, or advice you know, otherwise it's uh, we're never getting anywhere.

Toliy: 35:32

Yeah, I, I always um, found it interesting that, like, like, for example, when, like, let's say, my mom or grandma makes something and they want feedback on something, yeah, right, I'm the most offensive and mean person when it comes to this, yeah, but they always want. They're always I'm the most important person to ask for this too. At the same time.

Eldar: 35:52

See, this is a perfect example, you know of where we where. This is a perfect example of where we're going. It's like an attraction.

Toliy: 35:58

Yes, you know, like they don't understand it.

Eldar: 36:00

Correct, but like they're attracted to my answer.

Toliy: 36:03

But they always want to go back. Yeah, they're attracted to my answer. Yes, because they esteem it. Yeah, they esteem it.

Eldar: 36:10

Inside of them, somewhere, it esteems it. And now let's ask the question what is that? What is doing the esteeming of that, what he's talking about? It's a very good example, and that's what I was going to go towards too. Like, look, you offend the person enough, but they keep coming back.

Toliy: 36:26

Yeah, like the last beat and like I'll have criticism about it. Yeah, Right, and my grandma always would say like why do you criticize everything?

Eldar: 36:36

Yeah, like, why do you criticize everything?

Toliy: 36:37

yeah, like, why do you? Why do you criticize it? Yeah, you know, because I'm like, well, I'm being asked, you know. Yeah, so I'm gonna tell you how it is. Yeah, or don't ask me. Yeah, or don't ask me. And I've said this many times, like, if you don't want to know, yeah, how I feel about it, don't ask me, please.

Eldar: 36:54

Because now I'm not playing this little game with you. Yeah, Like you know, just pat you on your head, even though you fucked up.

Toliy: 37:00

And then again, like when it's one person asked me, the other person tries to protect that person. If it does, if something is not good, by then saying no, it's not, it's still good, it's still good, it's still good you know, yeah, but I'm like no, you know, these are my feet, this is my feedback yeah, take it or leave it.

Toliy: 37:15

Yeah, and I get the most angry when it's someone that is that you, that makes something really good. Yeah, and then they decide to switch it up. Oh, yeah, and that's bad. Like that makes me the most furious. Yeah, like with the experimenting, or you know.

Eldar: 37:29

So answer the question what is that thing that keeps coming back for more, the thing that esteems the truth on the inside and wants you to be honest? It's the magnet of truth which is installed in everyone.

Toliy: 37:45

Yeah, and it's an irresistible force, whether you like it or not. You see this.

Eldar: 37:48

So we have see, we can still trust I don't know God, nature or the way things are that that which is inside of all of us carries truth or justice, whatever you want to call it, but it's an all of us yeah, things like that and like uh, maybe like love, right, those are probably the only two things I could think of that, um, that could make you feel good without you understanding them.

Toliy: 38:17

Wow.

Eldar: 38:20

Yeah, you can't find the right words.

Toliy: 38:21

right, you know, because, yeah, it's like a thing where it's like you don't need to necessarily understand it, but you're still attracted to it. Yeah, like it. It makes you feel good, but you can't explain it.

Eldar: 38:34

Why Like it's like a is it a recollection of the soul? I think it's the soul recollecting what it already knows.

Toliy: 38:45

Yeah, giving the opportunity for the soul to tap into that which is the truth within it. Yeah, like I almost viewed that like, if you want to talk about it from like a, like a biblical standpoint, like, for example, god. Yeah, like it may be the things that he gave people, that like I'm going to give you the ability to feel these things, even without you understanding them, and maybe give you the opportunity to try to find some something to be more calculated about it, or explain it yeah, it's a point of understanding it, yeah, explain it and then use it so you can fucking yeah because I feel like that that's a guaranteed like environment for like um, for like uh inquiry

Toliy: 39:20

right when you feel something yeah very strongly and you can't explain it, yeah, or understand it, yeah. Then I think that it's like a guaranteed form of inquiry.

Eldar: 39:33

That will happen.

Toliy: 39:33

Yeah, curiosity a form of inquiry that will happen afterwards. There you go, and it might not happen on the first time or the second time, but enough times it's like damn, this feels good. I don't understand how it's happening or why. Yeah, Like you have an irresistible urge to find out.

Eldar: 39:47

So you gravitate it more towards it?

Toliy: 39:49

Yeah, more and more and more towards so there you go, yeah, and and like I, I I felt at least like, for example, like, um, like, let's say like early on, maybe maybe when, like we started like hanging out more, you know, I don't know when I was like 15, 16, yeah, like I maybe like didn't understand what you were saying, yeah, right, but like, like the like the truth aspect felt probably good, but like there's no way I could explain it or understand it though at that age. Yeah, but like there was something that was like bringing me towards wanting to talk more.

Toliy: 40:24

Find, out more yeah, yeah, to keep coming back because maybe I had a good feeling, but it wasn't like a explainable one, right? It wasn't like, hey, mom, I'm gonna go, yeah, with elder because he speaks the truth. It wasn't like that. Maybe the feeling internally that was not able to be like Free pizza also helped, though, though it did yeah.

Eldar: 40:49

Just in case somebody wants an easier route To Valhalla Free pizza. If anybody gives you a free pizza. Just get in the van. Yeah, the roll van. Remember the roll van? Yeah, holy shit. Yeah, anybody's wondering. I used to run a youth group and totally was a volunteer in it. That's why you said I was hanging out with a 15-year-old. So don't get too excited, fucking freaks. Yeah yeah, no, you're right, you're right.

Toliy: 41:22

That's why I think that those who know and let's just say that we know right for the moment, we ought to fucking strive to be able to present this one, one thing I wanted to add is that, like so, there's that kind of like truth feeling, or love feeling, right where it's like you feel something but you don't understand it or you can't explain it. But I think that, like, the thing to strive for, like the ideal lives for all of us, is be able to like feel these things, understand these things and explain these things, like that connection of that that that's like, that's it like that, that's like that's it, that's like the final boss, you know, when you can not just feel it or like do that it's calculated and you can explain it, you can live it, you could like recreate it.

Toliy: 42:13

If you could do that consistently, you probably like you become like a form of like a god. That's probably like. If you could do that consistently, you probably become a form of a god, that's probably enlightening a living right, Because what else do you need or can you get? That would be better right. Yeah, I'm not sure what you can depict.

Eldar: 42:36

That would be more than that yeah you know, very interesting, definitely very interesting and super important if you want to live a good, happy life. You know what I mean. You should strive towards that. He said mhm, mhm, wow, okay. So you know what I mean. You should strive towards that. So, mm-hmm, wow, okay. So what do we say? Talk your shit. So do you find yourself biting your lips a lot, mike, in these types of conversations or holding your tongue?

Eldar: 43:14

In what kind of conversations, you know, when you come across strangers and new people and um, I don't know, I don't think um with with our friend for sure, yes, yeah, but in general when I meet new people, I don't. I mean, I want to first hear what they have to say. You know, yeah, for a little bit, yeah, you know, but and then you make your judgment call and hit them over the head with a hammer. I don't know about that, but yeah, I think definitely better in the more recent years, you know, with, like, making new friendships and being more quiet, versus, like now, speaking out more well. Yeah, well, your, your issue was a lot of the times, right was where people would do injustice to you because you were overly too friendly. Right where, in your case, you needed to dial that back a little bit so you can, you know, set respect lines and be respected, because a lot of times people cross that with you, because they take your kindness for weakness, which was rightfully so.

Toliy: 44:23

Yeah, it was a weakness, it was weakness.

Eldar: 44:25

Yeah so yeah, if you always are looking to apply the right application to the scenario that you're in communication, conversation, relationship, whatever it is you're always going to be golden if you strive towards that. But that's not an easy task. You have to see things for what they are. You have to know some shit.

Toliy: 44:51

You know what I?

Eldar: 44:52

mean have developed some confidence in that, to be yourself, to be your true self and to bring that out. Otherwise, like Toby said, yeah, you're going to be struggling. You're going to be feeling an immense amount of stress internally.

Toliy: 45:05

Yeah, like, what's what? What like how, how do things like a depression or stuff like that form? Yep, right, like depression, like you being yourself, like full time, like you being yourself like full time, like you can never have any kind of depression or anything like that? Yeah, it's the lack of that that creates it. Or like the feeling that like, yeah, like the saddest feeling is the internal belief that, like you cannot be yourself. Like, if you recognize that, like I don't know if you can create a more like sad moment, like moment than that, and like, yeah, that.

Toliy: 45:42

That that, to me, is how these like things like again, like depression form, for example. Right, are these like depressive states? Yeah, right, it's that kind of recognition or maybe that kind of fear, that like again, when people feel like you can't act this way because like people are going to judge me or like they're not going to accept me or they're going to make fun of me. Right, like what? What are those feelings? Those feelings like in actuality are like, hey, the people around me are going to treat me poorly because of who I am.

Toliy: 46:18

And they dictate, yeah, how you're going to be, by making you act a certain type of way yeah that to prevent all those things yeah, that kind of fear is a really, really shitty feeling, you know, and maybe we've all experienced it at different, yeah, points in our lives, right? So then, like, when you have that kind of fear and you can't break through, what do you do? You think about ways to like conform or act in particular ways, like now create like an act of like in like particular ways of who you aren't Right, yeah, so you don't get those kinds of things that like those kinds of bad feelings, yeah, that you're trying to avoid. Yeah, so now you have like a invested effort to act a particular way, just to like live in society.

Eldar: 47:08

So you've created almost an alternate reality and identity that you need to follow in order to keep your stress at bay, almost and just in order to stay alive, to stay to survive yeah, yeah, that's crazy. Well, I mean, yeah, if that's the root of all fucking stress and all the sicknesses and illness, especially mental ones, right, yeah, like you, you'll.

Toliy: 47:35

You can't ever point, point or show me a sad person. Who, who, who is who he is at all times. I'm not sure if that can exist.

Eldar: 47:45

Hmm, yeah, that's true.

Toliy: 47:50

Yeah, you know what I'm thinking about it now. I remember I always ask you questions like hey, like, for example, like, if there's a god right, did he intend for all these people to have all these suffering and all these different things? Impossible, bro, right? Impossible? Yeah, yeah, in the end, the answer is no, because if, if everybody just was who they are, there would be none of that. Yeah, so it was not intended. No, it was not intended. No, but because people choose to be who they're, not they, they, they by default feel these kinds of like, I guess, if you want to call them like evil or bad things, it's like it's the the proper trajectory.

Eldar: 48:31

Yeah, based on how they feel or act.

Toliy: 48:32

Yeah but also, if you didn't have this, if you didn't have this, if you didn't have this pain, for example, as like a teacher Guidance I'm not sure if you'd ever have a chance to find your way back. So maybe that was intended to give you an opportunity to find your way back.

Eldar: 48:49

Okay, well, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, you know, to give you the opportunity to be like yo. This hurts being like this or like this sucks.

Toliy: 49:00

Yeah, Right. And now, like maybe trying to make a choice or trying to figure out if you could put yourself in a position where you can examine things go to therapy examine things, think about them yeah go to therapy. Do something so that you can find the map of who you are and go find yourself. Yeah, and then be it. You know yeah.

Eldar: 49:26

Yeah, that's a good point. Shit, it's more important than we thought I knew it was important. I totally put a new, dark twist on it.

Toliy: 49:36

I told you it was going to be bad.

Eldar: 49:39

Yeah, yeah, holy shit. The biggest crimes, I guess, that we commit is against ourselves.

Toliy: 49:48

Yeah, and that's also why when, like, you start to know things or you start to like know some things, I guess, or maybe be aware of some things, like, the practice of these things becomes more and more painful because, like you're aware that you are choosing to participate in a non-authentic self, like life in particular, like like parts of your day, yeah, and doing that is like like if you're aware that this is what's happening, it becomes worse and worse okay, so so what do you suggest for these people that kind of maybe are scratching the surface and finding out that like look, I haven't been myself and now they're trying, or maybe they're more like reserved now because they're scared so they might not even like engage at all yeah, yeah, I guess maybe you could start to think about and say like hey, is this conformed version of you, right?

Toliy: 50:48

what do you mean by that? Like, like, like like you're conforming to, like a particular like thing, right, okay, so therefore, you're not being yourself, right? Yeah, is this form of like is? Is this form of you is is? Is it enough for you?

Eldar: 51:03

is it serving?

Toliy: 51:04

you, yeah, like, is it serving for you and is it enough for you? Where, like, um, if you look back at your life that you're proud of it. It's a?

Eldar: 51:14

good question right Right. Yeah.

Toliy: 51:16

If you are, then you know, continue doing it, but the only thing that you can be proud of is being who you are. That's it, yeah, Like you're guaranteed to not have any like regret or like, yeah, I mean, it's impossible, right. Like how can you regret?

Toliy: 51:35

Yeah, you can't, you can't you know impossible, right, like how can you regret? Yeah, you can't, you can't, you know, you know, and that's also why it's like you can like aimlessly try to figure out, like what your purpose is, or like why you're here, or like, what are you gonna do with your life? Yeah, and like nothing like puzzle wise will like fit, you know, like there's gonna always be again like oh, you gotta wake up for work, you know, or like you're always gonna be doing shit that you don't want to do and naturally like again, like we're talking about, like how was it intended?

Toliy: 52:09

god intended it to have resistance, for you to have resistance, for you to feel that, like yo, you hate this job because you're doing it for the money and it's not actually good. Yeah, for example. Yeah, you're right, right, you are intended to feel badly, so that you have an opportunity to evaluate things.

Eldar: 52:28

Yeah, thank God. Right, you know, yeah, yeah.

Toliy: 52:31

Yeah, if there was no like pain, or there was no that, I think it'd be very difficult for minds to even think.

Eldar: 52:39

But a lot of people go numb, right. They kind of get used to the pain and again they go numb, like you said, like your dad, right. They're kind of just like it is what it is. Yeah, so you're saying that it's impossible to have regret?

Toliy: 52:53

If you are who you are, yeah, I think it's impossible. But if you are who you are, yeah, I think that's impossible.

Eldar: 52:57

But if you're are who you are, but you're not living in accordance to truth later on when you, if you change that.

Toliy: 53:03

Well, no, no, no, I'm saying so like the like. You can't regret being who you are. You can only regret like being what you're not like, like almost.

Eldar: 53:15

No, I get that in the moment being what you're not like, like almost no I get that in the moment, right when you're living that life, you're staying true to yourself, even though if it's not the truth, it's your truth.

Toliy: 53:21

You definitely can't regret it no, I think that if you're not living in accordance to truth when you're looking back at it, if you actually understand truth, I like I don't think that you could be upset at that because, like, then you're being upset at ignorance and, and that wouldn't make sense, can you be upset at a dog who's untrained that he's peeing on the floor?

Eldar: 53:41

Well, when you're looking at it consciously, no.

Toliy: 53:45

Yeah, but that's the only time that you're upset about these kinds of things Is when you are looking at them consciously. The problem is that you don't look at yourself like an untrained dog that's peeing on the floor. No, definitely not. You know, you view yourself in a different lens, so you have different types of feelings.

Eldar: 54:11

What if you're just a product of the society and you're just a piece of shit?

Toliy: 54:21

Then you should be a piece of shit, then you shouldn't be that piece of shit. But are you saying that this is how you feel?

Eldar: 54:28

see, that's a good question, that's a good counter question because those are two different things.

Toliy: 54:32

Like you could view somebody like yo, this person's a product society, he's a piece of shit, right?

Eldar: 54:37

yeah, but what they actually feel is different. Yeah, yeah, but it's also again like yeah, because they might be right presenting themselves as a piece of shit outwardly right into the world, but at home they're fucking crying their eyes out and very lonely, for example, yeah, right, yeah, you're right, and environments are very, very tough. Yeah, those are big variables.

Toliy: 55:01

Those are very big variables because they're very influential. The power of influence is very strong on both sides Influence of good or bad.

Eldar: 55:14

Yeah, Peer pressure right.

Eldar: 55:18

Yeah yeah, it's like, how do you go about life, right? Like, if you're kind of lost, kind of don't know, right, how do you go to find the out? Like, who am I, you know? Like, oh, like, which part of me is actually like the closest to god? Like he're fucking riddled with identities that, like, probably are environmentally driven, like you said, right, oh, I like this color because of this, or I like to dress this way because of this. You know, like, if you identify yourself with all, like this hat, because this, fucking, this is my team, this is my sports team, you know what I mean? Like, what the fuck are you Like? You're just a product of a fucking of someone else's imagination. Like, this is not God, right, you know.

Eldar: 56:19

Your team loses, you fucking cry. Your team wins, you fucking cheer. You know what I'm saying? You almost become like a fucking puppet. Where do you fucking cheer? You know what I'm saying? You almost become like a fucking puppet. Where do you fucking start? When do you start peeling off the layers? Cecilia, wait a second, it's a good question. Where do you start? Yeah, like, where do you start to say, like, who are, who am I really like, really as a human right, not as a career person with a career on your back, your education, right, like who are you? But then what you're saying is that, at the core is we're all the same. Well, I think so. It's just some people tap into it and some people don't. Well, that's the thing.

Toliy: 57:03

Yeah.

Eldar: 57:03

But the thing is we introduce ourselves like oh hey, I'm Mike Yep, I like basketball yeah I like sports, I like this and that you don't say hey, mike, I am mike I believe in fucking this and that and justice and love and whatever. Yeah, and these are my reasons. You know, we don't introduce ourselves like that and we don't in our own minds, we don't present ourselves a lot of times like this who my identity is and this I want to present to the world.

Toliy: 57:30

Yeah, yeah, I think we, we like severely downplay who we are as individuals. Like or like and like in the way that we present ourselves. Oh, you like the yankees too. Me too, you know. Yeah, like, like, you're like. The way that people present themselves is their they're, they're like they're under the way that people present themselves is they're, they're like they're underselling themselves severely is that they're just like.

Toliy: 57:55

They're just identities of like little, fucking little cultures like that is fucking, it's not real yeah, but I feel yeah, but still it's like you only do what you understand and that's as far as it goes. I think yeah, but still it's like you only do what you understand. Listen, I'm not knocking them?

Eldar: 58:11

No, but I think any person that, even the one who identifies as any of those surface level things, they still have a soul and they can still have a conversation with you. If you find the right subject, they will still. Can you know? Yes, that's the thing like again, right, it's in that conversation is then is burdened upon you igniting it in them.

Eldar: 58:34

Yeah, so what you're saying is that you are then become god for the moment, right, yeah, in their existence, to bring out that which you also have. And and those two parts start talking. But what is like?

Toliy: 58:48

yeah, yeah, you know what it is. What I'm thinking of is what happens. Is that like, if you're talking about people who don't do this right? You're almost like taking a test with the answers.

Eldar: 59:05

Yeah.

Toliy: 59:06

You know what I'm saying?

Toliy: 59:07

It's like well, you know that the other person like you know the person you're like, like, like speaking to. We know ahead of time that, for example, they're not being themselves. Yeah Right, yes, like you have a lot more information about like okay, like you know they might not be honest, or like afraid to tell the truth, or stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, and I feel like, if you're going into it, knowing these things, um, you have the ability to spark these things out of them, because you know, deep inside, this is what they want, but they don't know how to do it. Yeah, they're hiding behind a mask, you know, but they just don't know how to do it.

Toliy: 59:46

Yeah, yeah, but you're like cheating, almost because you're aware of it. Yeah, you're aware. You see it for what it is. Yeah, and they're not.

Eldar: 59:55

But do you think that people do have these kind of conversations? Just maybe not often or not with everybody? You don't think they have these conversations at all. No, very, very rarely. Yeah, no, I think it's definitely very rarely, because we're all human, right, and we all suffer, we all complain, right, we all like the complaining is slaying the pauses. Like yo, I have a problem, I don't know what to do here. Yeah, and that's the call, that's the call To action. Yeah, right, yeah, or a cry out, but that's again. That's like saying, hey, I'm not competent here, all I can do is complain right now. Mm-hmm, maybe our job is to be like yo. Stop Like our job, because we understand that there's more To inquire.

Eldar: 1:00:39

To inquire yeah, but are you in a situation because you created this? You want to be in this? If you do, why? Like you know, whatever ignorance they're like breeding? Yeah, we have to challenge that, if we want to, of course. No, I think we have to. We have to. Yeah. Well, you like to say we don't have to do anything? That's why I had to change it to one. Yeah, but the reason why I'm saying now have to.

Toliy: 1:01:03

Yeah, it upgraded, maybe it's because of the fact that you want to because I want to yeah I don't want to get ham hocked yeah I agree.

Eldar: 1:01:10

So to me it's a have to. To you, I don't give a fuck, you don't have to do shit. You know what I'm saying. And vice versa, you should. Yeah, it's the same way. Yeah, but if I know this, fuck, I want to and I have to. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, because I want to. Yeah, it's not becoming a chore or a burden, no, no, it becomes a, a survival thing it becomes a survival thing.

Eldar: 1:01:32

I want to fucking enjoy life as much as I could, yeah, for a long period of time. That's it and that's how I'm gonna do it. Yeah, but yeah, definitely, it definitely helps, you know, taking the test with the answers, especially because the complaints everybody's saying the same shit, bro. There you go my job, my car, my wife, my relationship, my friends, my family.

Toliy: 1:01:55

Yeah, some bullshit.

Eldar: 1:01:55

Nobody's saying anything new, bro. No, it's all the same shit. No, and it's all in accordance with seeing things for what they are, what we can be, yeah, yeah. So I mean, guys, then what you're talking about here is that it's God's work. Well, yeah, all those words that I like to use a lot justice, virtue, honesty, all that stuff this is God. If you want to say who's God, you say God is these virtues, god is values, god is morals, ethics. This is God. It's the truest form and comparison expression of God God-like abilities, qualities, qualities Everything that God would, and our soul, if it aligns in accordance to those things, experiences the true nature of that well, yeah that's why it feels so good.

Eldar: 1:02:50

Why does it feel so good coming over here doing the conversations, doing what we do, extracting the truth about the world, about what's? Actually happening about ourselves why does it? Feel so good. Yeah, you know, because that's what we're meant to be to live like that, as close to God as possible, by living as close to the truth as possible. I guess that's why we have to fuck up the world. Yeah, even more, even more. Yeah, okay, any final thoughts? Like I installed it, I downloaded it.

Toliy: 1:03:29

Like now I'm gonna live it, you know totally, yeah, no, I kind of feel like that, that same way, like yeah, like, yeah, like I feel like like going back to when we were in the premise. I don't know if you, if I mean, I'm not sure if you remember, but we had many conversations that, like I always said, I feel like like going back to when we were in the premise office. I don't know if you, if I mean, I'm not sure if you remember, but we had many conversations that, like I always said, I felt like it was my duty to act this kind of way. Yeah, do you?

Eldar: 1:03:55

remember that or no? Yeah, I think I do.

Toliy: 1:03:56

yeah, yeah, but then I remember like suppressing parts of that you know yeah.

Eldar: 1:04:07

Because feeling that, like you know, yeah, like well, like people wouldn't like it, you know, sure, yeah, but sometimes maybe it was wrong. You know what I mean not always where you're right. You know what? I'm saying, oh okay, yeah, sure yeah if you're right, I think you should definitely give it. Yeah, if you're 100% right, absolutely.

Toliy: 1:04:18

But sometimes you misstep yeah, you know what I mean.

Eldar: 1:04:21

So, like you know, well, I mean, there's examples, obviously. But yeah, okay, mike. Final thoughts yeah, I mean I'm excited to put this into practice more you know yeah, like I've been doing it slowly, obviously you know, with people in my yeah, circle, circle.

Eldar: 1:04:43

My family, you know, and even you know, and the and the basketball court too. You know, I'm trying to, like you know, speaking of that, I remember your family. Like you said, the last time you had a conversation, a serious one, where you actually finally brought out that which you've been thinking and talking, about and cultivating this whole time.

Eldar: 1:04:58

You, finally, you came out of it. How'd you feel? Well, the same feeling I was trying to describe just a few minutes ago. Yeah, it's like, I don't know the word to use for it. Yeah, you know, you felt empowered.

Toliy: 1:05:08

Euphoria, euphoria, I guess that's what people say euphoric feeling.

Eldar: 1:05:11

Yeah, that's how I felt. Yeah, even though you might've been, in that moment, right Perceived as the bad guy. Yeah. But nonetheless they still want to be around you. Yeah Right, that's the phenomenon that Tully talked about.

Eldar: 1:05:27

In doses, of course, and now, without you know, fight, but at times, but they keep coming back, like Tully said. That's why I think your challenge, mike, at least here, is now bring this also as well and help us with our team you know what I'm saying To have that continuation of what we're talking about here, so then we don't have these stressful moments, absolutely.

Toliy: 1:05:51

Totally yeah. Yeah, I agree with that.

Eldar: 1:05:56

Yeah. So my final thoughts obviously you know the importance of this thing is crazy right To go out there and communicate properly and to try to bring out your best self and true self, even though sometimes if you're wrong about some stuff, but you bring it out and you confront yourself within those conversations and confront others in their conversations so you can get closer to unlocking, which I don't know.

Toliy: 1:06:22

I just remembered when that guy was the we, we were speaking yesterday with the window guy. Yeah, I came to give a quote and this guy was talking about like, oh, like, this door has like a locking mechanism, you know, so like people can't break in, and I was like, yeah, that'd be good because you never know, and that next thing, like you're sleeping, someone breaks in and next thing you know, they're giving you a massage. It's like this is kind of guys's like oh, oh, yeah, you know you may not want that. I was like, oh, you never know, maybe you would actually. Yeah. He's like, yeah, no, you wouldn't want that, you know, to happen. Example of, you know, me being myself, right and enjoying myself with someone who's probably you know taking these jobs very seriously or whatever you know and we're lighting up the mood a little bit- but,

Eldar: 1:07:06

yeah, I mean, yeah, this is very important. You know, if you come to a place where you've got a glimpse of what your true nature is, you ought to wear it proudly. You know, without any shame, and try to push that narrative as much as possible and oppress others. Fuck narrative as much as possible and oppress others. Fuck that, oppress them. And you know, like I said maybe earlier, brainwash them, challenge their fucking belief system so you don't get ham-hogged. And next thing, you know you're quiet listening to shit that you don't agree with, you don't understand and want to go against. You know you don't want to be in those situations. If you don't, if you know something, you have to speak out.

Toliy: 1:07:52

You know what's funny? I don't know if it's funny, but coincidental, right? If we think about all those biblical stories that we think about. What are they? What's the commonality amongst all of them?

Toliy: 1:08:10

they're they're like um yeah they're like, written in like, um not real stories but no, no, I'm talking about in the sense of like, for example, people like jesus or moses. Yeah, it's very magical described, sure, yeah, but what is the commonality between, let's say, the story of, for example, jesus and his experience and, for example, moses or those different people? It's isolation. What were they doing?

Eldar: 1:08:44

They're trying to give the word of God, which is what the truth. They're trying to give the word of God, which is what the truth they were carrying out the truth, yeah. That's what I'm telling you.

Toliy: 1:08:52

We do God's work and people and people like, when you think about those stories again, like they stood behind something right and they stood behind a particular truth, and then all those stories depict is that, like the, the masses, like irresistibly followed yeah, when you're gonna get this covered, what the fuck are you gonna do?

Eldar: 1:09:13

you're gonna have to come out of your hiding, bro.

Toliy: 1:09:14

I know let's get it over for you.

Eldar: 1:09:17

Let's go alright, guys, this is great, thank you, thank you.