VERSUS with Malachi, John, and Drew
It's a game show? A 40-part miniseries of off-the-cuff comedy hosted by Game Master Drew and featuring contestants John Moreno and Malachi Nimmons. / Follow Malachi on Instagram: @malachinimmonsjr / Follow Drew on Twitter: @l200ster / Follow John home from work. / For all things VERSUS follow @VersusPodNYC on Twitter. / Show art by Instagram's @kelanmesoftly.
Episodes
40 episodes
Episode 40: PO Box 5392
The sun is hot, the speed of light is a fixed constant, and VERSUS is funny. There are certain things in this universe that are immutable laws, which cannot be broken. If you're not a fan of this concept, hey, don't get mad at us, pal! Take it ...
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Season 1
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Episode 40
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22:30
Episode 39: Mount Do-not-go
Sailing through the ether like some ether on a rag to your nose—it's another episode of VERSUS and it's here to knock you unconscious! Taste sounds. See smells. Go ahead, feel a color or two. The contents of this here rag don't judge you or fol...
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Season 1
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Episode 39
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19:56
Episode 38: That Whole Thing Holding Up All That Sh*t
Switch that signal and gently caress that third rail, because VERSUS is back on the tracks and chugging into Grand Central Stupid. We can carry as many passengers as you can throw at us AND we've got a bar car. Every car is a bar car. There are...
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Season 1
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Episode 38
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22:40
Episode 37: The Liver Is Gum-Sweet
Well gaba my entire gool because here comes another episode of VERSUS crashing through the gates of the estate and charging for the guest house. It's running. It's jumping. It's dodging security. It's making a damn fool of itself if you ask me,...
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Season 1
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Episode 37
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22:27
Episode 36: A Virgit Galactan Spaceflight
Due to recent allegations against the podcast, we find it necessary to take a moment here and use this space to make it clear that the podcast VERSUS and everyone associated therewith DO NOT CONDONE arson of any kind. Even though burning stuff ...
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Season 1
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Episode 36
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20:32
Episode 35: The History of Colonialism and Things Like That
Hot diggity dog it's another scorcher of an episode of VERSUS coming down the meat pipe to satisfy your most carnivorous of fantasies—comedically speaking that is!For this week's overprocessed junk chunks in a bun: the fellas confront a...
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Season 1
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Episode 35
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27:34
Episode 34: Mount Kirilenko
"Hands up! Put your hands on the wall! Spread your legs! You got any VERSUS on you?! Huh?! Do ya scumbag? You look like the kinda trash that'd be filthy with VERSUS. Yeeeeeeah you're grinning from ear to ear and I can practically smell it on yo...
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Season 1
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Episode 34
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27:44
Episode 33: Shleet Is Not a Word
Did you know that nearly 40,000 Americans died in car crashes in 2020 alone? That's nuts. If you're texting and driving then cut that sh*t out. If you're reading this while you're driving then we're personally upset with you. Please be good out...
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Season 1
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Episode 33
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19:53
Episode 32: The Elephant in the Room (feat. Rory Scholl)
Whoever said three is company and four is a crowd must have been a friendless jerk, because the VERSUS gang has yet again been graced by a fourth angelic presence and it wasn't crowded at all! We were quite comfortable!This week, the fe...
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Season 1
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Episode 32
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41:00
Episode 31: Pancakes
ADVENTURE! ROMANCE! POISONOUS PLANTS AND ANIMALS!The world is full of exciting stuff, and you better believe VERSUS counts itself among the ranks of excitingest. Most exciting. Phenomenal. Faaaaaaaaantastic!On this week's jolt o...
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Season 1
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Episode 31
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32:30
Episode 30: A Simple, Noninvasive Three-Week Brain Procedure
Once again, the gang from VERSUS rises like the morning sun to cast light upon the dark, cold corners of the planet Earth—bringing warmth, contentment, and the very definition of beauty to the masses simply because they can. How do they achieve...
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Season 1
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Episode 30
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22:48
Episode 29: I Was Happy in the Dark
Listen y'all: It's late, I've gotta go to bed, and I'm just plain out of juice. Can we pretend like I wrote something funny for the descriptive copy this week? Can we just envision a world in which I didn't entirely phone it in, and sat down to...
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Season 1
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Episode 29
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27:43
Episode 28: Diva Spheres
Awwwww lordy, it's happened again! Like snow tumbling down a mountain, VERSUS is picking up steam, gaining traction, and growing to a size so massive that it will easily destroy the small village at the end of its path. Nobody is safe, because ...
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Season 1
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Episode 28
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25:37
Episode 27: You Know, Like From Astrology
After a big old four-week stretch of the gams, the VERSUS gang is back from summer hiatus to bring you more unscripted comedy that the FDA has proudly labeled the first non-food/non-drug item deemed unfit for human consumption!This week...
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Season 1
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Episode 27
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31:00
Episode 26: The CEO of Santa Claus Dot Com
You put the lime in the coconut? The whole thing? The ENTIRE lime? IN the coconut? I'm just not following man. Look, this all sounds incredibly groovy and I'm with you one-hundred percent, I just need to understand...IN the coconut?Spea...
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Season 1
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Episode 26
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21:46
Episode 25: The Seventy-Sixth-Rated Art Teacher
This week, we're gonna try something new. We're pivoting to salads. Starting off with a trio of classic Caesar, a nice watermelon/mint/feta salad for the summer, and one with like roasted squash and arugula or whatever, probably like some pepit...
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Season 1
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Episode 25
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23:47
Episode 24: It Starts with Salt and It Ends with Salt
Hilarious episode description TK
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Season 1
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Episode 24
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23:28
Episode 23: And I'm Your Wife (feat. Eric Schmidt)
As the boys from VERSUS ramp up for an epic summer vacation, their whole world falls apart when the local skating rink suffers a devastating rat infestation. The bills are piling up and the skating rink is on the brink...of bankruptcy! Will our...
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Season 1
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Episode 23
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29:06
Episode 22: Double Didn't
It's the year 2022. A human being sits hunched over a mechanical computer keyboard, feverishly typing. He's trying to keep his right knee extended. He asked too much of it when he rode his bike from Manhattan to Queens to record his podcast las...
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Season 1
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Episode 22
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21:11
Episode 21: Tik Tik Tik Tik Tik Tik Tik Tik Tik Tok
Heaven is a house on a lake on a warm day where your only care in the world is looking after the ones you love. Unfortunately, in the real world, lakefront property is extremely expensive and our loved ones all left us because we kept putting "...
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Season 1
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Episode 21
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15:33
Episode 20: Blood. Lots of Blood, Guys. (feat. Skulk, the Hulking)
You ever wait until the very last second to edit your podcast? Are you ever uploading files and feverishly writing descriptive copy mere hours before a new episode of your podcast is due to release? No? Is this not relatable? My bad!Thi...
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Season 1
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Episode 20
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25:52
Episode 19: Blowcaíne
Everybody knows the well-known phrase "VERSUS is like a box of chocolates—you never know what you're gonna get." The first time we heard this was, of course, in the movie Forrest Gump, which begs the question: how did a nearly 30-year-...
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Season 1
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Episode 19
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12:35
Episode 18: The Stupendous Flagrante Tittlesberg
Shocking! Horrifying! Out-of-this-world! Adjectives!These are all words that have been used to describe VERSUS. Also "kinda gross sometimes" and "couldn't you guys just swear a little less?" Which...are fair. Fair criticisms.On ...
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Season 1
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Episode 18
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15:50
Episode 17: What's Up Everybody?!
Mares eat oats, and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy too—wouldn't you? Well, you definitely shouldn't, because that'd almost certainly poison you! What would you do without us? You'd get poisoned! We've got all the answ...
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Season 1
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Episode 17
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22:44
Episode 16: The Lost Episodes
A shaft of light breaks through the ceiling and cuts the darkness below. A sturdy cord unravels through the hole and slaps against the floor of the chamber. A handsome archeologist repels down the rope; dust kicks up from the ground as his boot...
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Season 1
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Episode 16
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27:54