Ep. 87 Cheryl Sutherland

On this episode, I am joined by Cheryl Sutherland. Cheryl is a Mindfulness Speaker and Founder of PleaseNotes, a for-purpose company of affirmation-filled products that inspire women to step into their power by building confidence, clarity, and creativity.

Cheryl has been able to work with different companies to spread the message of mindset growth and human potential. Some include Wonder Women Tech, WeWork, Quicken Loans, Freshbooks, CPA Canada, the Durham District School Board, and more.

As a women's empowerment expert, author, and entrepreneur, Cheryl Sutherland and PleaseNotes have been featured in InStyle, Huffington Post, Forbes, Fast Company, American Express OPEN Forum, Thrive Global, Brit + CO, Travel Noire, Good Morning LA, BlogTO and on podcasts such as The Creative Empire, I Love Success, No Philter with Phil Pallen, and more.

Cheryl has generously given us a coupon code to use:
https://pleasenotes.com/discount/FilledUp

PleaseNotes - Affirmation-Filled Goods - Best Guided Journals 2023
Cheryl S. | Affirmation Goods (@pleasenotesgoods) • Instagram photos and videos
Cheryl Sutherland
PleaseNotes Goods (PleaseNotesGoods) | Official Pinterest account

Ashley (@filledupcup_) • Instagram photos and videos
Filled Up Cup - Unconventional Self Care for Modern Women

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the Filled Up Cup podcast. We are a different kind of self-care resource. One that has nothing to do with bubble baths and face masks, and everything to do with rediscovering yourself. We bring you real reviews, honest experiences, and unfiltered opinions that will make you laugh, cry, and most importantly, leave you with a filled up cup.

Ashley: 0:32

I am very excited. I have Cheryl Sutherland joining me today. Cheryl is a mindfulness speaker, women's empowerment expert, author and founder of PleaseNotes, which is a for-purpose company of affirmation-filled products. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Cheryl: 0:49

Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for having me.

Ashley: 0:52

If somebody hasn't heard of PleaseNotes, can you explain what they are?

Cheryl: 0:57

Yeah, so essentially the whole purpose of PleaseNotes is to help you become your favorite version of you, and everybody's got a different idea of what that is, and so. I like to Turn towards that versus like the successful version of you or the powerful version of you. Because honestly, being able to fall in love with yourself and really enjoy who you are as a person makes such a big difference. I think in the day-to-Day and personal satisfaction how we support people in doing that is we've got amazing workshops. We've got courses and then we've also got our affirmation filled goods that everything kind of works together to create this delicious ecosystem to remind you that you could be, do or have the things that you want. So, within the product line, we've got things like our affirmation cards. We've got our sticky notes, we've got our planners that help you manifest success in different ways. Guided journals, all these little bits that help you not only stay focused on where you're going, but then opens you up to the possibility of having a life that you really deserve.

Ashley: 1:57

I love that and I love that it ties in with courses because it's like sometimes we can. Have the product and not know where to start or not know how to use it successfully. And I know for me, I love the idea of sticky notes so that you're visually seeing something every morning that's super accessible. You don't have to remember necessarily to like pull it out. It can just be there waiting for you, like in the bathroom, for example, when you get up in the morning or when you're, wherever you do your makeup or whatever that looks like for you. But I love, love the idea of sticky notes.

Cheryl: 2:26

Yay,

Ashley: 2:30

what made you drawn to this company? Like what's the origin story of how you decided to launch?

Cheryl: 2:36

Great question. So I had at that time been involved with personal growth for years. So much so I fell in love with it. But I'd been really engrossed in it, so much so that I decided to move to a different country and moved to America to work for a business coaching firm. And the person that runs that business coaching firm or ran it. Was involved in the same personal growth community. She was very high up and I really loved the opportunity to work for a company that actually employed these like. Conversations and these thoughts in the day to day. Right.'cause it's just like, who could I be? Or like, what could I create if I was like, again, like working for somebody that was actively doing this work. It turns out that she wasn't. And so I ended up working for a couple different companies when I was down there. But during that whole process, I had kind of fallen away from my practice of personal growth. Even just like the journaling or I. You know, going to these courses and workshops or just even having those conversations with myself and like learning how to trust my gut. Instead, I put a lot of the onus outside of myself anyway. With the last job that I had down there, I quit and I was like, you know what, my self-esteem is not where it needs to be. My confidence is not where it used to be. So how did this even happen? And I realized like I needed a way to surround myself with affirmation so I could always remember who I really was, where I was really going, the journey that I was on. And so I thought, the first thing I was like, well, I wonder what would be a good way to do that? It really came down to sticky notes. And then, so that's why the company is called Please Notes. And the first item were these amazing sticky notes that actually had a different affirmation on every single page. And then from there I quickly realized that, hey, I did not move to California to sell, sticky notes. And so I'm like, what could work with the sticky notes? And then I created my first journal and the journal blew up way. More than I thought it would be in comparison to the sticky notes. And ever since then, I've just been adding on more bits and bobs to support people in creating this amazing life and really doing that introspective work. But making it easy, making it fun, making it accessible, but then also making it effective as well.

Ashley: 4:53

I love that. And I love that you were brave enough to say, Hey, I'm in this country. I have this opportunity. I'm try something new where I. think It's so fantastic that. You can be like, I'm gonna go on this adventure. I'm going to put myself in a new place. I'm gonna try new things. I'm gonna step outside of my comfort zone and sort of see what happens. And I think what you had touched on is something that. More of us also have to do is that self-reflection. If something feels out of alignment, the more aware you are of your body and how you feel about things and learning to trust yourself, it's like you can say, no, this isn't what I need. How do I pivot to something else? Which I think is such a great reminder for so many people.

Cheryl: 5:34

I agree. It's so funny'cause if we think about it like thousands of years ago, you know, when we were growing up, we didn't think like, oh well, like what do I want to be? We kind of just kind of gravitated the things that we felt were good. Like, oh, I wanna be a baker, like this makes sense. Or let me be a blacksmith. Like, yeah, blacksmith. Like we weren't. So caught up in like all of these existential crises where it was like, oh, well if I'm not a blacksmith like my dad, then he's gonna hate me, or whatever, right? What is it that I want for me versus looking externally for all of these people that tell me who I am and who I'm supposed to be, or like how I'm supposed to run through life. It's very interesting. So just being able to come back and be like, okay, well, listen to your own intuition. What do I want? Where do I wanna go? Just practicing more of that is something that we haven't had the opportunity to do very much of.

Ashley: 6:25

And especially we have so much more choice. Or it seems like mm-hmm. There's an overwhelming of a I could do this, I could do that. And I do like the fact that we're not locked into things. Like if you choose to be a blacksmith and you decide 10 years into it, maybe I wanna be a doctor, or I wanna be a baker, or wanna do whatever. We do have more choice to say it's okay to try something new. And I think that our idea of what successful is, or what success should look like, I think is changing too. As somebody who was born in the eighties, raised in the nineties, we were basically told to finish high school. You go to college, you get married, you have two kids, and a dog and a picket fence, and then that's it. Where now success doesn't have to look like the same thing for every single person.

Cheryl: 7:10

I agree. And it's funny because part of my quote-unquote origin story is like, I had gotten all of those things well except for the marriage'cause, but like I had a solid boyfriend. I went to school, I had my adult job, I had a mortgage, and I was like, oh. I. This is what they told me, like, this is not true. And then that's when I first got into personal growth because I was like, there has to be something more. But then in choosing to be brave enough to explore a lot of those things really opened up so many different opportunities. Now, of course, I also wanna acknowledge that I'm very privileged. I am very privileged to be able to, you know, afford to be able to go to college by myself or, you know, be able to purchase a home at such a young age. Again, like those are great things that have been afforded to me. And especially for us millennials. Like now you're at the point where you're like, oh, well, like let me, let me buy a house. Haha, no bitch. Like you thought or oh, like let me settle down and have some kids. Well, those kids are more expensive than the plants I have, so I don't really know if that's something I really, I dunno. Let's think about that. Right? So there's just so many different things and the way that our parents definition of success and what our definition of success is are two different things. And also what level of attainability success is for us now is it has to be completely different just because society shift so much.

Ashley: 8:42

Yeah. We, like you had said, we aren't in the same place like our. Say annual revenue compared to what our parents or grandparents' annual revenue is like, it just doesn't go that far. And it always makes me laugh when people are like, just stop drinking coffee at a local coffee shop. It's like, I'm not gonna be able to buy a house with what I would be able to buy coffee for and things like that. I know even so my daughter's gonna be 17 this year. Mm-Hmm. And even with talking about their generation, we always kind of give Gen Z this label, like, oh, they don't wanna work, they don't wanna do anything. It's like, no. Well, they just value their human connections. They value like friends and family and having that downtime and not working nine to five for somebody else in this like thankless job a lot of the times for, you know, the inability to still be able to afford groceries or buy a house or pay off college loans, or all of those other things. So it's just, it really is changing that mind shift of, I feel successful if I'm not stressed about everything at the end of the night if I can feel like satisfied with what I'm doing versus having, you know, a nice car, a nice house, or all of these things that easily could be lost or taken away or you can't afford or things like that.

Cheryl: 9:51

Yeah, I agree. And if it's funny because I think we're like caught in this lovely, in-betwixt because like we've seen our parents get the cars, get the houses, get like the 401k work somewhere until they were like. Pensioned out and see how miserable they are, right? So it's like, they're telling me that this is it, but what I'm seeing from them is that they hate their lives and they're like, can't wait to retire and go on vacation. So why would I do that to myself? And then also just the fabric of that promise of, oh yeah, if you work for us for a really long time, if you work hard, you're gonna get a pension. We're gonna take care of you. Now they don't, no, none of these companies out here. Really care about us. And the more that we understand that, like literally we're human capital, like we're just a product to be used and abused or taken advantage of or whichever, then that's where Gen Z is coming in. They're seeing like, no honey, like you're working too hard, you're putting too much effort and too much care into the work that you're doing for this company. To just be like, okay, yeah, thanks for being here. Here's the severance package. If you could even get that and like be gone. Right? So it's a lot.

Ashley: 10:57

It definitely is, and I know even when we're talking about changing your mindset or changing your life or creating the opportunities for yourself, I do wanna stress that, again, change is hard, that it isn't as easy as potentially, like we're making it seem that it is really getting over that mindset of like, it might be difficult or it could be hard, or I could lose different connections in my life with the growth that I'm going in a different direction. That it isn't just Change your life and everything will be fine. Like there is definitely levels to that end. It's hard when you are, seeking different growth.

Cheryl: 11:32

I agree. And I think even with that, it's not only that analogy of letting go of something to make room for something else, but then also understanding like what you think you want and then that there's something that's so much better that could come to you as well. Like, life is risky. And then, you know, going out there and choosing to do something different or leave a relationship or leave a job or like cut off a parent. I don't wanna belittle any of those decisions moving to another country. For me, I was just like, this just makes sense. But for a lot of people they're like, I could never do that. And again, I respect that, but I think. A lot of it really comes down to like our own personal responsibility and what do we want. So there's this Harvard study that says that by the age of 18, about 95% of our thoughts about ourselves, others in the world have been hardwired into us. Now, I don't know about you, but. The people that I was around in that age period, like yes, a lot of the things that they learned to help them survive were implanted in me or you know, like impressed. And then I was able to carry that. And of course I'm alive now because of a lot of those things that I learned. But I also have the responsibility to be like, is this something that I still want? Is. Feeling consistently, like, I'm not enough. Is that something that's still working for me? Yes, it kept me safe because I didn't, you know, ask for too much or I didn't push the envelope too much. But is this something that I want? And I think by being brave enough to even explore. A lot of those thought processes and kind of pick them apart and understand yourself more is where it really starts. And I don't wanna measure my growth or my change versus anybody else's. I think it really comes down to the willingness and the bravery to just have that internal conversation, like choose to look within and just kind of have those little conversations. Those little micro changes do in fact lead to those macro wins,

Ashley: 13:27

which is so. Mind-boggling to think of your eighteen-year-old version of yourself and like your frontal cortex isn't even formed and I was still probably worried about like the size of my thighs and like my boyfriend not calling me back. I wasn't really thinking about how am I going to be a grown-up that it is just weird that we hold on to stuff so much at that point. And it's like you said, if you don't check in and you don't say. Is that who I wanna be? Is that still something I believe? Am I holding onto things that essentially are getting in my own way? That it is just kind of mind boggling how many people potentially don't have those conversations with themselves? Mm-Hmm. To try to move themselves forward. I agree. Do you think for somebody who is starting to get into the, I wanna change, I want to, better myself. Is there a certain workshop of yours that you would recommend as more of like an intro one?

Cheryl: 14:20

Yeah, I think that initially I would always recommend pairing these two together, or if you're able to come live would be great. But the journal, your way to Clarity and then clarity Journals. And the reason that I like those two is it really helps you figure out the whole process of journaling, but then also asking yourself those questions. Like what is actually important to me? What am I curious about? Like, when I was a child, what did I wanna do? What kind of impact do I wanna make on the world? Who is important to me and why? Or why is certain things important to me? Just being able to start with those simple conversations and also lead into who do I wanna be is also very big because it could be that the person you are today is not. The person that you want to be. But unless you get clear on who is that person, what are the attributes of that person? Like how do they walk through the world? What do they do? Who do they talk to? How do they affect change? Unless you get clear on that, then it's really hard for you to say like, okay, I wanna change, but what is my first step? So leaning into journal, your way to Clarity, and again the Clarity Journal always the best way to start.

Ashley: 15:30

It is really simple'cause I think sometimes checking in with yourself can be complicated. It's like, I dunno how to ask myself those questions, or I feel for like such a long time we were basically sold not to trust our intuition and to, you know, seek that outside validation. So it can be hard to ask yourself those questions and then feel confident in the answers that you're giving yourself and giving yourself permission to prioritize yourself.

Cheryl: 15:56

I agree. One of the things that I always like to point out is when you're listening to that voice that's pushing you forward, or helping you expand versus pulling you backwards, they have two very distinct feelings and voices. The one that is actually your true voice, is one that's like very gentle, very warm, very expansive. It feels like flow. It feels like joy. It feels like excitement. The other voice that can feel colder. It feels restrictive, it feels harsh, like, oh, there's no way you could do that. Like you're gonna look dumb, like, et cetera, et cetera. That is not your voice. That is your brain trying to keep you safe. And thank you so much for making sure that I haven't, you know, played with tigers, but at some point you in being able to understand and recognize that voice, like you're able to let a lot of those things go, but then you're able to recognize, when that voice is talking, say like, oh, wait a second. Where is this coming from? Let me just work through this again and then so you can tune into more of your intuition when you're hearing or when you know like that this is the next step you should go to. Being able to actually practice working with and growing your, intuition is one of the most valuable assets I think that anybody can have in their life.

Ashley: 17:08

Yeah, I definitely agree with that. Are your workshops in person or online or both?

Cheryl: 17:14

Actually both. So I have been playing with doing some more in-person ones and they've been actually like super fun. And if you are not in my local area or if you're overseas or whatever, then of course I like to offer the on-demand options that you can check out on my website as well.

Ashley: 17:33

You're in Ontario currently, right?

Cheryl: 17:36

I am. I'm actually in Toronto.

Ashley: 17:39

When did you decide to go from, so you went from Calgary to L.A, and then why did you decide Toronto instead of going back to Alberta?

Cheryl: 17:49

If you don't mind me asking this. No, this is the funnest story because when I tell people I accidentally moved to Toronto, they're like, wait a second. How do you accidentally move anywhere? Well, I mean, long story short is when I was in California, and I totally manifested this, but I had been really pushing hard for this business to be in a specific spot because I wanted to get a visa so I could stay in la. So much so that I had just burnt myself out. I was emceeing in an event at the Long Beach Convention Center and actually was approached by someone that said you should apply for this role that we have it was like a big SaaS company, and if I was to say the name, everybody knows the name. And I was like, okay, cool. Whatever. Yeah. Awesome. So I ended up going through four rounds of interviews, got flown up for the last one. And then when I went to fly back to America, they're like, no, it looked like you overstayed your visa. You're not allowed to come to the country for at least six months. Don't try to drive down through the border like we've already flagged you and etc. It was like, okay. And then I was at the airport because now I have this flight credit because I didn't go back to California. I called my roommate and I'm like, don't come to the airport. Like, I won't be there. I'm just trying to figure out my life right now. And I was like, okay, well I've got a couple options. I could fly to Vancouver. I've never been to Vancouver. That could be something I try out, I could fly back home to Calgary. But that kind of just felt like the worst possible decision I could make. And I was like, or I could try Toronto. I mean, I'm already here. And yeah, that's how I ended up moving here and then, you know, did a lot of couch hopping for a bit, ended up meeting some people that are like, oh, you can do some remote work for me. And then I was like, I guess I, I live here now so that.

Ashley: 19:39

I kind love that though, because although it's disappointing to not be able to be like in the warm weather and like back to Canadian winters, but it's kind of like that kismet thing of like, I didn't know where I wanted to go. I didn't know like what my next chapter was. And then so the universe is like, this is where you should be.

Cheryl: 19:55

Yeah. Like even for a while I was thinking like, okay, what if I moved back to Canada? Like where would I go? I wouldn't go back to Calgary, and I'm just tired of pushing so much and then. The interesting thing, I was like, wow. So I ended up moving back to Canada'cause I was concerned about the finances of it all as well. I'm like, oh, I, that was taken care of. I got blown up for free. Like, look at that. But I'm not gonna lie and say it wasn't traumatic, it was terribly traumatic. But at the same time, it was also a very clear, reaffirmation that everything is always working out for me. I'm always taken care of. And sometimes when I tell that story to people, they're like, I don't even know how you did it. Like I would've broken down and started crying and all these different things. I was like, well, I mean like what was I gonna do? Like it was, I was here, do something else. But again, like all the people, places, and things fall into place for me all the time for me to be able to not only be successful, but for me to like really grow and expand and do a bunch of really cool stuff with really cool people,

Ashley: 20:55

which is so awesome. I guess it's also a good reminder that like S Toronto didn't work out. I think that sometimes we forget like. If I make a choice, I'm locked into that choice. It's like you could have gone home or you could have waited six months and gone back to la. Like there's so much, it's not easy choices. And like we talked about, like there's privilege and it's hard, but again, there's always another option. So I love the fact that your mindfulness practice has sort of given you that that confidence and that clarity of everything will work out. When did you start leaning into having those practices and leaning into that personal development?

Cheryl: 21:37

So I first started getting into personal growth. Kind of like how I said, like I had everything really lined up in my life. Like was working my big girl job at one of the top four banks in Canada was making a good amount of money. I. A boyfriend at the time who was like, I know I was like, is a decent boyfriend. I had a really nice car that was paid off. I had my apartment that the mortgage was like mortgaging. Like all the things reach that point of like, I have all the things, but why am I not happy? I always like to say God does a really good job of like doing what she needs to do, when she needs to do it. And then a lot of those things really fell away. And so it got me to the point where I was like, okay. I had been, pulled into people kept suggesting this whole thing around like, Hey, Cheryl, like you should check out this personal growth course. I was like, I have too much on my plate, I can't do that. And then like just the most random people, it's like, why is this I stuff always coming up, like, where are these people coming from? Like, is there a conference? And then eventually when everything did fell apart. So that relationship ended up being abusive and then I had to end up calling the police and getting that wrapped up. My best friend at the time decided to abandon me. And then on top of that, the job that I was at, like no matter how much I did, it doesn't matter if I was the top seller in the district or actually in the side of Canada, I was not getting the awards that I should have gotten. And I was like, you know what? What else? So when somebody was like, Hey. Do you wanna check out this course? I was like, yes. I mean, my life can't get any worse. Like it's only up from here.. And then that's when I started getting into it and I was like, wow, this is a way that I've been speaking to myself. Like, wow, this is a way that I've been running my life and operating things like, and then just in that three-day course, I was like, if I could feel so much difference in three days, like imagine if I did their seven-day course, or an eleven-day course, or you know, all these different things. So I felt like. Whether I wanted it or not, this is what my next version of my life looked like. This is what the next calling is. And it was easy because it just felt like everything made sense. It made sense for me to move to California. It made sense for me to start this company. It just felt like this is the next natural thing. And so oftentimes I feel like we do not listen to. This just makes sense. This is natural. This is the flow. We're like, oh, no, no, no, no. I gotta stick to this plan. This is what I decided before. No, like this is where we're going. And when we don't listen to that or when we don't do as good of a job of moving with that flow, that's when there's like that course correction. That's when there's that something falls apart or something big, like we'll move things over. So you're back on that path where you're supposed to really be again.

Ashley: 24:22

I feel like if it was easy to get on the path that we were supposed to be on, I feel like we would all be on it. So it, it's shitty that it has to be, abusive boyfriends or falling out with family or whatever that looks like for the, for the individual. It really is a blessing in disguise in some situations that kind of go, Mm-Hmm. Okay, let's get outta here and let's. Go there. And I feel like sometimes it takes really shitty things for us to appreciate the good because it's like if if it was good all the time, then we wouldn't notice it in a sense.

Cheryl: 24:57

I agree. But I also think if I had just listened to myself in the first place, it would've just happened with a lot less. That's true. Like volatility is the best way I could say it. Oftentimes, like let's say for example, if I'll get a job and I'm like, I only want this to be temporary, just to help me out here, to help out a friend or whatever. Then if I start getting too comfortable and I'm like, yeah, no, like maybe I should just like keep doing that because something always happens and it's just like, oh, you thought no Cheryl. I don't wanna say like daughters, anybody else, or some higher thing is like redirecting me. It's just like, no, Cheryl, like, you know in your soul that this is where you're supposed to go and therefore my own soul is saying like, girl, no, this is where we're going. So like, you better get along. Making things a little bit easier, but also like super difficult at.

Ashley: 25:45

I think it's like when we tunnel vision things or if we hold on too tight, then it's like we have to question why are we holding on to something so tight? Because if it is the right decision or if we are at peace with ourselves, it shouldn't feel like a battle. I agree. Now one really cool thing that you are working towards next is a subscription service. Can you tell us about your subscription services?

Cheryl: 26:11

For sure. So the subscription service, it's called Affirmations and Abundance. And again, leading into how do I make this habit easy? How do I make it fun? Of course I do have my workshops. I do have the journals with the prompts, but eventually at one point or another you're going to use up all those prompts and be like, okay, well now. Where do I go? Or like, maybe you might feel like, oh, I'm not in alignment with it. Or maybe you wanna play with like a different modality or a different medium that that comes through. And then that's where affirmations and abundance is another thing to support the people that I get to play with. So with this specific subscription. You actually get every single month, you get a set of journaling prompts, and then you also get a guided affirmation track from me that's centered around the theme for that month. So let's say, for example, if the month is, I let my success be easy, or it could even be a release, any value and struggle. So then we get to go into, okay, what is my relationship with struggle? Why do I value things that I have to push more for? Where else has this been showing up in my life or where was this behavior first modeled? Is this something that I wanna keep moving forward with? And if not, like, what do I want? Again, I think always we have the answers within ourselves. It's just we don't know the questions ourselves and. You decide six months from now, I really wanna go back to that other meditation that we did, or I really wanna go back and revisit those journaling prompts'cause something has come up in my life that I feel like I wanna solve through this. You have the ability to do that.

Ashley: 27:51

I love that. Back to that, all of that is available.'cause again, like you had touched on, sometimes you're not ready for it in the moment. Sometimes you need to go back and, accept it for when you are. What I love about the mindfulness practice is it gets down to the root cause. I feel like we want everything now, and we're so used to that sort of instant gratification that it's like to find the root cause for things. It's not always that easy. So it's like having that slow pace of checking in every month and having that conversation with yourself can be so beneficial.

Cheryl: 28:25

Yeah, consistency is really key. And again, you're taking a look at. All the different areas of your life, like whether it is you do these specific exercises and you're really focused this month on your romantic relationships next month. It could be that you're focused on your relationship with yourself, or it could be your relationship with money and how you deal with money, how you deal with wealth, how you deal with asking for what you want, or even creating and setting boundaries. There's just so many different ways that you could play with these things, and of course, they're applicable to all these different areas of your life as well.

Ashley: 28:57

I know another thing that I saw that's upcoming probably closer towards the end of the year is really products that are geared towards younger women or teenagers. I know as somebody, again, my daughter's gonna be 17 this year. It's so important to help them have these conversations with themselves earlier and earlier so that they can figure out. I think with less of a struggle or just to get into that practice. Can you tell me a little bit about the journals and products that are coming?

Cheryl: 29:27

Yeah, so I think, and again, very much in alignment with what you said, but I think that we have just such a great opportunity for people to start practicing, and I'm gonna focus on younger girls only because I, myself have been a girl that's been in this position where I'm always looking. Outside of myself or externally for not only validation, but like what do I need to do with my life? I have no idea. What do you think I should do? What do you feel like is the best move for me? And then kind of like. Okay, well I guess this feels like the right thing. Let me try this out. Right? How do we turn it so I know for myself what I want? How do I turn it so that my voice is actually louder than everybody's voices around me? Then I feel like, again, the younger and the earlier that we are able to play with that and start that and like really turning that on the inside. Then the easier it's gonna be for these children that grow into women to not only, again, ask for what they want, set boundaries, but then have more satisfying lives, start businesses that they really wanna start, create the wealth that they really wanna create. Create the impact that not only we need, but like that we desire here in our lives. Women just tend to have a different focus when it comes to creating businesses. Not all of them are about scaling. A lot of it is about social justice. A lot of it is about supporting the people around us. A lot of it is just I wanna do something that I'm in love with and pay people a very fair wage in order to do that, and that has to have more weight moving forward. Versus how do we exploit people, places, and things to get more money for our bottom line to get more money for our stockholders because. Actually degrading a lot of things that we're going through. But I say all that to say that even looking at affirmation cards, looking at journals, just doing more of that introspective work is gonna be one of the biggest things I feel like that's gonna lead us forward. What would happen if you, as a young woman, decided and able to even hear your own voice. Make your own decisions when it comes to your body, when it comes to your career when it comes to, just even with some of the relationships that we have that you know, are proven to be toxic, that, take us a long time to get outta what if we were able to move forward from that space of confidence, of clarity, of knowingness earlier in our lives.

Ashley: 31:45

Especially as a mom, I want that so much for this generation because I think what's like, we see that there's so much pressure on them to have all the answers and to have it all figured out, and it can be really scary and it can be so intimidating. So having those conversations to give them the tools that it doesn't have to be this all or nothing launch into the universe. And we do need people to have those human connections more like humanity is not. Going in a great direction currently, and it's like we care more about a Super Bowl than a genocide happening. We do need everybody but women to feel comfortable enough in their own skin to say, Hey, this is not what we want. We're stronger together. Like what are we going to do to make this positive impact? And to really bring us back to the fact that, we should care about our neighbors. We should care about each other as a human race. We should care less about, who followed me on TikTok or how many likes did I get today? And all of those external things that I think. Society tells us to care so much about

Cheryl: 32:53

Yeah, I agree. And I mean, that's the thing is like, there's always gonna be something new. When I was a kid. We had things like my space, we were into the Facebook when it first came out, all of those different bits. That was a whole new world that my parents had no way of protecting me from or coaching me through. Right? And so as this new generation gets on social media and new social media platforms are gonna continue to pop up. And it might even be that it's not even social media, it's something extra new that comes up. But it's not about dealing with the actual. Product or the platform, it's about how do you feel good in any situation, in any of these spaces that you're playing with. And then I also wanna move forward with saying and having these conversations of having women in power when it comes to politics and government. Because we know if we had women that were in government, and especially I'm gonna note on the us and I wanna say. We had more women in politics that weren't playing. This masculine game of winner takes all. Where we would be able to say, I'm doing this for the people. Like realistically, there wouldn't be a lot of the things happening that are happening, like the fact that Americans and I love you guys, but the fact that you have to shop around to see where's the cheapest place for me to have my child like that is scary in, that's insane to me. The fact that you could be bankrupt for having cancer, but then your insurance doesn't cover you for certain things. That is insane to me, and it really speaks to the fact of, again, like we were talking about that whole job situation where you're not really, where you're an asset, where you're like a natural resource. It's the same way a lot of these governments are treating their people as a natural resource to be extracted from versus people or, Need to be taken care of or like real people that need to be taken care of and deserve to be taken care of because that's government for. So again, leaning. How do I make sure a lot of the policies that are in place, not only with healthcare, but then with like work with like student loans, all these sort of predatory things that are out there. Even with the way some of the banking systems are running, how do we make sure that we're taking care of our people? Some of the things that I've even noticed is in as late as 2018, the Philippines made sure that everybody has higher education. How do we not have that in North America? Yeah. Finland. Yeah, exactly. Finland have, has eradicated homelessness. How do we not have that here in North America? It just doesn't make

Ashley: 35:26

sense. We're doing the opposite of what we really need to do, and it is really annoying because we can fight for all these things. And it does feel like the government isn't listening. So it's like you do have to find your community to say I'm not gonna stand by this. What can we do to make it better? It does enact change when we're able to do things like that, but not to pick on Americans by any means, but it's like. When your health insurance is tied to that job that maybe you don't wanna keep anymore, and you have to decide, you know, if I'm diabetic, can I leave this job or am I gonna die because I'm not gonna be able to afford my medicine? Or being able to afford to have a kid, but then have the highest maternal death rate, but then also not have other options. And in some ways maybe the internet, because we have all of this information and it feels like all of these issues are coming right at us, that it also can feel overwhelming and helpless. Whereas if, you know, you break it down to a checking in with yourself and what can I do and what do I want and how can I bring peace and joy? Then it makes it less overwhelming.

Cheryl: 36:32

There's been many, a wise person that has dropped really great gems, but one of my favorite quotes is actually from Thomas Wilhite, and he says that world peace starts with one mind at a time. So if I'm seeking world peace within, then the actions that I put into the world will have that ripple effect. And I feel like that is really true. Today, I don't have the ability to stop a genocide or I don't have the ability to stop some of the boards out there, or some of the way that people that are around me have been mistreated. I don't have the ability to give Flint clean water or to give reparations to our First Nation people. I don't have that ability, however. By me taking personal responsibility for who I am and what I do and what I put into the world, that is not only gonna be able to change what I get to create, but then also makes a very large impact for the people around me, for the people that get to see me as an example. But then also just those, again, little micro changes, like those little drops that create those ripple effects and sooner or later, like it all comes in together. But I think that's also something that we have to be mindful of is choosing not to fall into, feeling not enough it doesn't matter what I do, nothing's gonna change. It's just doing those little things. Doing what you can and being kind with yourself allows other people to be kind to themselves and still commit to certain things. Right? Like little things like voting, right? Little things like. Choosing to put your phone on do not Disturb at certain times. Little things like having difficult conversations with parents or siblings when they come across as racist or homophobic. These are the changes that people will get to see and that will impact people that I can do this is within my scope of work. And as long as we're willing to have those conversations, as long as we're able to. Stand up for one another and then press change. When we have the ability and the opportunity to, then the wheel will turn and things will come to fruition the way that we need it to.

Ashley: 38:36

Yeah, I absolutely agree with that. It's like paying it forward in kindness. Taking it back to sort of your day-to-Day life, can you tell us sort of what your self-care practice looks like or some of the things that you like to implement to help yourself find that peace?

Cheryl: 38:53

It's funny, I do a great job of practicing what I preach, and then I don't, so again, being kind to myself. But one thing that I do do is also start every day with meditation. I think whether you do choose to do silent meditation, guided meditation, chanting, whatever, that really sets you up for success. And then just reorienting yourself to not get so caught up in some of the micro things and look at things from a macro lens, which alleviates a lot of stress and anxiety. One of the things I also like to do is work in some sort of physical workout or exercise in the day. Even if it's something like, I'm not even gonna lie. The majority of the times that I work out, it's me. On the treadmill at my apartment playing Pokemon, go like, I really don't care. Okay. I don't need to be pushing myself in the fitness area, but I'm like, as long as I do it and it's done, look at God. Right? And for some people that might look like going for a run. For some people that might look like lifting weights or boxing or Zumba, like just doing that really helps ground you to your physical. And then again. Lets you get a lot of that energy out that's like been stored inside of you, especially if you're working from home or you have a desk job as well. And I think most importantly is to listen to your body. Like I've been going very hard for the last couple of weeks, and so when the opportunity for me to sleep in comes in and I'm just like, okay, I should go to the gym or go for a walk or do something outside, I'm like. But what feels like it's gonna be the most restorative thing for me and for me right now, it's for me to lay in my bed and go on Reddit and go to sleep and wake up again, and then maybe order pizza and then go back to sleep, like rest. Is what is the word? I feel like

Ashley: 40:41

it's almost like underutilized. Like we don't prioritize it enough. I think when we think about self-care.

Cheryl: 40:47

It's true, but I think rest is productive and I feel like we don't quantify rest as productive when we really should because it is the underlying factor in all of your success. And so sometimes I'm like, oh, I should be doing something or I should be pushing or da dah, dah. It's like, no, Cheryl, this is what you need to do. So being able to like listen to oneself is actually the biggest thing too, like listening to your gut and. Respecting your likes and your dislikes, your feeling to do something or not to do something, or respecting, acknowledging, and then moving forward with your day with that too,

Ashley: 41:25

which is such an important reminder. Thank you so much for having this conversation with me today. Of course. Can you let everybody know if they're looking for you online where they can find you?

Cheryl: 41:38

Yeah, you can find me all over the internet on. The non-dark part of the internet. For the website, it's www.pleasenotes.com, so please as in please and thank you notes as in notes of Love.com. You can find me on the Instagrammys on Please Notes Goods. And then also that's the same tagline for TikTok, which I haven't really done a lot of Tiki talks, so like you can witness. Me learning how to use a TikTok first hand, if you choose to connect with me there. If you're disappointed, that's a you thing. We're working on it. But yeah, so those are the three main places that you can play with me. Oh, and on LinkedIn as well too. Just underneath Cheryl, K, Sutherland. It's very easy to find.

Ashley: 42:23

Awesome. Thank you so much.

Cheryl: 42:26

Thank you.

42:29

Thank you so much for joining us today for this episode of The Filled Up Cup podcast. Don't forget to hit subscribe and leave a review. If you like what you hear. You can also connect with us at filledupcup.com. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.