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The Rhythm of Vered Moshkovski: Balancing Law, Motherhood and Music Amidst Conflict

• Di Katz Shachar, MPH • Season 1 • Episode 36

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Join us for an enlightening conversation with the multi-talented Vered Moshkovski, who is not only a captivating singer-songwriter but also a lawyer, a professor, a mother, and a resilient soul battling with a genetic condition affecting her vision.  Vered's story is an inspiring tale of navigating through personal and collective conflicts while working to keep the rhythm of her artistic heartbeat alive. Her narrative is a testament to the resilience of women in trying times – a story accentuated by her experiences of living and creating in Israel, in the midst of its conflict with Hamas.

We explore the delicate balance Vered maintains between her obligations and the artistic passion that is a vital part of her being. We take a look at how the backdrop of war has influenced her music and professional life, and how her art can become a solace; an escape - not just for her, but potentially for others. Our discussion extends to the impact of personal trauma on art, as Vered recounts her journey with a rare retina disease, revealing how it shaped her perspective. 

Through the course of our heartfelt dialogue, we steer into the uncertainty that mothers, like Vered and myself, grapple with in today's world, and the constant quest for truth amidst a deluge of conflicting information. We dive into the intricacies of the creative dilemma that Vered faces, and the challenge of choosing which song to nurture while bearing the weight of current world events. Join us to discover Vered’s inspiring journey and to be reminded of the profound connection between artists and their creations.

https://open.spotify.com/artist/1y4pvRI2e21HSphgEmwMPj
https://linktr.ee/vered.moshkovski

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Music by AVANT-BEATS
Photo by Boris Kuznetz

Di:

Welcome Bodyholic with with D. This is part 3 of a very special series called Creative Echoes Women Navigating Conflict Through Artistic Expression. We dive into the profound experiences of female artists in Israel amidst the ongoing conflict with Hamas. While I often discuss stress and trauma from a scientific perspective, the essence of the series lies in the genuine voices of those living through these challenging times. In a world where life in Israel and the experience of Jews globally has become exceptionally challenging, I truly believe in the power of real, authentic narratives. Amidst the cacophony of male voices during wartime, let's turn our attention to the voices of female artists, recognizing the cathartic and illuminating potential their stories hold.

Di:

Today's guest is Vered Moshkovsky. She is a multi-talented individual who defies limitations. The conversation you are about to hear is so honest and so real. I got a little bit welled up a couple of times in the middle. Vered wears different hats, as she is a truly gifted singer-songwriter. I actually have linked a few of her works to the episode notes. She is a dedicated mother of two and a highly skilled social lawyer. Take a moment, soak it in. I know I needed a moment as well. And additionally, she navigates life with a genetic condition that affects her vision, despite the challenges and really having her hands full. Vered exudes resilience and determination, and she continues to pursue her passions, helping and inspiring others along the way. So sit back and I'm sure you'll enjoy.

Di:

Vered Moschkovsky, thank you so much for joining me today.

Vered:

I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for saying my name correctly. It's not always happening.

Di:

It's a pleasure. I'm just going to say something real quick, but then I want you to introduce yourself in your vocabulary and how you would like to introduce yourself. But I just want to say to everybody first of all first of all, just Google Vered Moschkovsky and listen to her music, because it is so good. You'll sit down, you'll listen and then you'll just start floating. So that's first of all. But I also want you to give a little bit of an introduction about yourself and kind of what led you to this point, briefly. And then I have questions that I want to really ask you specifically about this period of time in our lives that we are going through globally.

Vered:

Sure, I would love that. So I am a musician. I write my music lyrics, the music I sing. I also play keyboards and piano. Mostly. I'm also an attorney, I'm a professor in law, I'm a director of a legal clinic. If you would like, I can explain a little bit later, because it's also very relatively speaking to our time, what I'm doing there. And I'm also a mom for two kids, two girls, very young ones, and I can talk about each one of the things like lots.

Di:

So how old are the two girls?

Vered:

Yeah, two girls and a dog, but how old are they? Oh yeah, I was. I didn't hear you for one moment. I'm sorry. No, that's okay. Daria is three years old and Talma is one year old.

Di:

Oh, really small, with a small age difference, wow Okay, so yeah.

Vered:

Daria was one year and ten months when Talma was born. Are you? Yeah, okay.

Di:

So you're a busy person.

Vered:

Very, very busy Actually.

Di:

yeah, very busy person, wow, okay, so I'm even more grateful right now. Thank you so much. You do have a very interesting kind of puzzle that you live, because between being an artist and an educator, and a lawyer and a mom, there's a lot going on, and now we found ourselves in this situation, in this war situation where we both are. We're in Israel, where Hamas attacks brutally Israel on October 7th, and I'm very interested in how your creative journey intersects with the situation we're in now. But also you can feel free to talk about any of the points in your life, because I think that for you it all you know you're one person who deals with everything, so you probably being a lawyer kind of has an impact on your motherhood, has an impact on the music and it all kinds of kind of boils into this one pot. So I would be so interested in finding out that moment where everything intersects.

Vered:

Yeah, okay. So first I will say that I think I'm a person who has like a lot of conflicts before this attack as well, but mostly I manage my conflicts, you know, I mean I feel like I'm an artist, but I feel like I'm also I'm not sure if the right terminology is a social attorney. In Hebrew you would say that someone is a social attorney, so it describe the work, which is not a private sector, it's not a public sector, is the third sector. So I feel in a not war life that I'm actually all of the things I'm doing and that it makes sense, because I love to perform on stage or in court, I love to do good for people with my music or with my work. You know what I mean. So I feel that when you look on like typos and strict perceptions, you would say, oh, how can a person can be like an artist and a lawyer and how can she be like? But actually, if you think of it like like for two seconds.

Vered:

It all makes sense Totally. But since the war I actually feel much more conflict with everything. So I'm start and like trying to think where should I start. So I will just start and I feel like my thoughts are. So.

Vered:

I was waiting for October 8, like hell, like I was waiting so much for the second, which is a Jewish holiday that ends on October 7 this year. I was so waiting for it to be done because on October 8, my girls were supposed to start for real their day cares and I was supposed to start a routine in which I have like partially much more freedom with my schedule, with being a lawyer and an artist as I work. I work strictly, not with a full time job, so I will have time for my art, but every time I need to choose like, for example, the girls are off and it's August and there are like things that are not in my control, like sick days and stuff so the art is always, since I'm a mom for a few years now, is going to sigh, which is a very hard thing to admit, but this is the truth, because it's not like like a paycheck salary, it's not people that depend on me, it's like to be very, which is which is me all the time. No, I can write music in any hour. I can play the piano, like, theoretically speaking, it's my problem, it's my gift, it's my everything.

Vered:

But so I was so waiting. I had like a sheet with least and stuff I'm trying to do with the new routine after the holidays. So for me it really stopped all of my plans in a sense that I went down like Maslow pyramid and it was just thankful I'm alive, which is an awful thing to say that this is really how it feels to be here. You know, like thank God I was in that Saturday in Tel Aviv and not one hour away the south. So it really stopped everything at the beginning.

Di:

Yeah, yeah. So it stopped everything in the beginning. You where, I don't remember, we 51, 52 days into the war, something like that, I think.

Vered:

Yeah, something like this is unbelievable. You know, this is really unbelievable.

Di:

Right and I'm curious, like, how did it evolve until this point? Because I, for two weeks, Personally, I was also full time mommy and also feeling like I I'm. I woke up today, Okay, Okay and like and then the next day I woke up, right.

Di:

So I really, I really that really resonates with me. And then and then, now that we're looking back and we're still in the midst of it, but now that we're looking back, how has being in the war situation in, in motherhood, in in your artistic self, in your lawyer self, how has it evolved?

Vered:

So I think it's interesting because in some ways you're saying it's 50 days now right. So it feels like so, like not in a war time, 50 days can be not a lot, but I feel I don't know if you feel the same, but I feel it's like feel like an eternity. You know this war. It's similar that when you have in a baby, so one day of a baby feels like a week for you. So this war had so many stages for me as an artist and as a lawyer and as a mom.

Vered:

On the artistic level. At the beginning I had a lot of thoughts and I didn't perform to people who left their home to injured people that, like there are a lot of populations in Israel, like right now, that is in a very, very bad situation and music, you know, can be fun, can be something to escape to. I'm sorry and I thought about it One moment. I'm sorry.

Di:

I'm also going to say that it wasn't necessary. They leave their homes more, like they were either evacuated or their. Yes, thank you.

Vered:

Thank you. Yes, they didn't have a home Right. Their families were open from them they were part of the families were murdered with. Like, the people that I'm talking about are people that weren't lucky enough to be at their home and healthy. And one of the first things I thought, as a lot of other musicians, is should I go and just, you know, go and sink and to make them happy because it's something that I can do? And I thought that actually I felt that it won't be important enough, which was an interesting thought. I mean, I felt that it's more important for me and it would be more useful to the world if I'll be home with my girls and be a lawyer. I felt that a lot of musicians can go and sing, but not all of the people that can be with my girls can give them the feeling or the illusion that they are safe, that they can be happy. And also, my lawyer is regarding people with disabilities, that related to security forces.

Vered:

Wow, Sorry, I feel like I need more water. I have no idea. Take your time. What's going on? Maybe it's all the war talk makes my just kidding.

Di:

No, I actually the second. The seasons change with me. I have coughing attacks.

Vered:

LRGs and stuff yeah. Yeah, yeah, yes, take your time. This morning I woke up amazing, so I don't know why. I mean, I felt very healthy, but now I feel like oh, my son, this is okay, take your time. I have all the other tricks, the tricks before performance being without voice, and then to go on stage to sing like you're one half percent healthy, and then you go down the stage and you're, I can breathe.

Di:

Yeah, yeah, adrenaline is good.

Vered:

Yeah, adrenaline does work.

Vered:

I love it. Yes, so in Israel we have a specific law for veterans and police officers and fire workers and whatever that got injured or mentally, or free the clay while their service. So this is a special specialty that, in my opinion, is very important, also when you don't have a war. As you can imagine, after the war has started and we had so much injured soldiers and police officers and fire workers and everything. So it got much more urgent to help this population. And, as I said, I'm doing a clinical work, which means that I'm working in a college. I don't get paid for my clients. This is a like. For them it's a pro bono work I'm not doing. It's pro bono and in a sense, that I'm a lecturer in the college and I get paid from the academy, but for these people it's not like the need to come and pay me as valid, you know. So I felt very obligated to do as much as I can Like in a regular time I would say, oh no, I can't take this client and I would find someone that will help them and I would say, oh, you can't, I'm sorry, etc. But in after this crisis, I felt like I need to say yes to everything and I need to find a way to give service, you know, to a broader. People like to make like sheets, rights that you can get injured and know what you can get like and do like funcals to parents that were. So I felt that I need to be a mom and a lawyer and it's not something I'm regular feel, you know. I feel mostly that I need to protect my time and my piano and my performances and stuff, but I felt that I need to be a lawyer and it made me feel a huge conflict. Like I told my husband, I feel like I'm not a musician anymore. I'm passing, like all my plans and, on the other hand, I was like who cares from music? Who cares about Vered? I just need to help and say thank you, I have a knowledge that can help people and that's it. And, as I'm describing to you my thoughts, I feeling very OCD, which I of course, have, but I'm saying that I really felt like everything you know, like I need to be thankful for being able to help. I need to be thankful that it's clear to me that this is a helpful thing to do, but on the other way, on the other hand, I felt like what about music? So I was very like this in my heart and my stomach, but bottom line, that's what I did.

Vered:

I was like I'm still maybe two or three weeks ago when a friend of mine she's a clinician as well and she has a son in Gaza and she asked me if I wrote already a song about the war, if like arrived to my writing. And I told her I even didn't try to write a song for like a month and she wrote to me you have to Like, you have to sit down and let yourself be an artist, because you are all day with the work like the war work. You know, that's all I'm doing and I'm not in the sense that it's a hard thing to process, even for me. So she wrote me such a great WhatsApp text like she wrote very freely about how she feels about me need to write and like after five minutes it was the first song they're right.

Di:

Really it was very.

Vered:

Yes, yes.

Di:

And then I got back for the piano, which was very meaningful.

Vered:

And since then I feel like I'm going back, you know, to the music, like I feel like I want to record it, maybe, and I want to keep the song and maybe to think about the other plans I had before October 7. And after a few minutes of thinking of it, I'm like but who will come to this performance in January? Should you cancel it? But it's very confusing. It's very confusing because art is so basic, but also it's not you have a performance set for January.

Vered:

Yeah, which I'm not sure. I mean all the other things I had in November. Of course that canceled in a second because who cares? People are getting murder and we have rockets. But for January it was like maybe things will be OK.

Di:

I the reason I'm doing this podcast, this series, because this podcast is a well-being, very, very science-based. Sometimes we get into the very nitty-gritty of certain studies that just came out and it can go from anything from mindfulness and FMRI studies to female weightlifting and that sort of thing and that's what I specialize in.

Vered:

Yeah, I did research on you as well and it was pretty amazing. I didn't catch up with everything yet, but it was great, thank you.

Di:

But what I'm saying is I have been doing the regular content that I'm interested in, normally very, very little, and what I realized was again, it's very interesting like three weeks into the war, I was leaning for my well-being, for my mental health, on you people when I say you people, I mean artists, and so I think your friend was onto something that was very important, not only for yourself, like I think it's fantastic and wonderful and cathartic and important that you're writing for yourself, but as someone who's not an artist, I like today and yesterday when I was really listening to your stuff, that was amazing for me and I'm in this and I'm dealing with anxiety and I'm going to give up.

Vered:

It's exactly what you wrote to me. It's amazing you're saying it. It's really feeling like it's exactly what you said. It's exactly the she wrote to me after she's finished listening to music. To me, it's unbelievable that you're saying it. Yeah, like it's not only for us.

Di:

We need to. Yeah, right, and so, and the only people I wanted to interview on my podcast, all of a sudden, were the people who I felt are really important to our well-being and when I say our well-being, I mean just the person walking down the street. And so, all of a sudden, I was only interested in female Israeli artists, and that's it Incredible. Yeah, it is very incredible and you know, as you're speaking, I'm also thinking about how much work you have waiting for you In your lawyer career and your teaching career, and it's probably just the tip of the iceberg right now, and what's coming is going to be you have your work cut out for you, but really, it's, it's true.

Vered:

But also I feel what you're saying needs to be my mantra, in a way that I can always help another soldier, you know, and it was true before the war, and I think I should remember it now more than ever. You know what I mean Like I can always say, ok, I will help this guy as well, I will have this girl as well. But I need to tell myself what you told me, that keeping my art is also being helpful, even though I don't feel it in the same way. I don't feel like the help I just gave, or the Like it's not only narcissists to do music, it also makes sense.

Di:

That's what I need to remember.

Di:

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.

Vered:

Oh gosh, I'm going to this word is awful.

Di:

It is awful, and I'm actually. I wanted to ask you something more personal, if that's OK, and you can totally feel free to deviate away OK, but there's. You also have dealt with all kinds of things in your life and things that other people haven't dealt with, so I'm very interested in how the personal trauma or personal struggles that you've dealt with, how has that impacted your creative process and do you feel like you're conveying emotions through your music? Tell me a little bit about your personal life and your music, because I think that when I'm looking forward into the future, what has happened in October 7th and what we're going through now is going to end up also being a part of the tapestry of your creativity.

Vered:

Yes, well, you have very good questions. I would definitely take you with me to court. So I guess you're referring to my eye condition.

Di:

I am. I'm specifically referring to that, but you can answer it anyway. Yeah, sure.

Vered:

No, I'm very open with it and I feel that it's like a big shlikhut how you say, shlikhut Calling. Yeah, I think like it's a very. It's like it's a calling for me to be a lawyer for people with disabilities. I feel like it's a calling to talk about it. So I'm totally fine with that, even though it's not easy always. So I have a retina disease that has been diagnosed when I was 22 years old. I'm 35 in two weeks.

Vered:

This is maybe the first time in my life I don't have like a birthday wishes and I can't tell you about my plans, cause we are in a such a traumatic and bad situation in Israel, but I'm a very birthday girl, so so it's been long. I'm, I think, 13 years now that I am legally blind and I'm doing like with my hands. So it's it's the definition by law, cause I really don't live my life as a legally blind person, even though this is the definition I can be with. So I have like I'm not sure how, what's the right terminology. It's like it is a situation in which the light photo receptors and in the retina, like, are dying slowly. So the focus that need to be so you can write notes, to read notes or read text or recognize people is getting worse.

Vered:

So I'm very lucky not to have the kind of a disease that you are getting blind from. I just don't see so well. I mean I don't see very well and it's a big thing, but it's not being blind, which is a big comfort for a person. That that is diagnosed at the beginning. I mean it's a bad diagnosis, but you get to a certain point that you'll say, oh my God, please, let's. I hope to it. You know it's only that and you're not losing my site.

Di:

So I can interrupt you for one second, if I'm not mistaken, and I could be wrong, but I think it's macular degeneration, if I'm not mistaken.

Vered:

So it's like a cousin of this disease, because you just said you're losing your site. Okay, my disease, which it has another name, it's called start guard which is it's very, very rare, but the good thing is that you're not losing your side, you just lose your focus, the ability for the details. So it's an easier condition, but it's it's. I can't strive and my computer is like with huge magnification and my iPhone is like with huge fonts and I can't read notes. So, for your question, it was like a huge trauma for me. It was the biggest trauma in my life, for sure, more than October 7, more than.

Vered:

I mean in my you know, like Michael Cossum, your personal experience, absolutely yes. For me it was like the end of being. I don't want to say perfect, but I will say perfect. My dad says I'm not important enough to be modest and I love the sentence because I'm not that modest and it was like a really unbelievable thing. I had a trouble reading notes with my students. I was a piano teacher at this age. I went to music school and then to law school and my job was to teach piano and to teach like any music school and I thought, like I'm not a good pianist enough for my students, like they got better than me.

Vered:

So I stopped teach them and I had so many other things that happened after I understood that my site has begun, the disease has started to work, but no one think he has this kind of problem till a doctor say you know what I mean. You don't wake up in the morning and say, oh, I can't read this menu because I'm legally blind. Right, a normal person don't think. And you were 22, you're supposed to be young and beautiful. So I had a. I had a very hard time with that and I quit music 100%. I don't think I ever said it like I'm saying it right now.

Vered:

I couldn't stand to try and read notes because I understood I want to be able to do it. I will have an headache and I and I totally did law school. I just said music is not for me, it's no money, it's too hard with the eyes. I will just be a lawyer, which is pretty funny if I think about it right now, because being a lawyer is also. You need your eyes right, like you need to to to read materials. You need to see, the like I need my eyes with with being an attorney as well. The first thing I said I said is like I can't stand piano. I can stand and, and. Till today the notes stuff and the reading music is very hard for me mentally. I'm lucky that my music is not like classical music, you know. It's more like indie and like pop and jazz and and.

Di:

I don't need the notes.

Vered:

I just read like it so and when I do need notes. So it all always a struggle, but I'm dealing with it.

Di:

So there are points where you do need notes.

Vered:

Yeah, and I have like, for example, a gig in which I sing, not my music, you know like one of the performances that got canceled for me was like tribute for your own talent, which is a Israeli famous author, and me and I needed to play and sing some of the songs and it's like not something you just do. You need like the sheets because you have another people in the band and so you need like an iPad or notes or something. So for regular people it's like you know, it's like not a big deal, like you just put your notes and that's for me and it like to do a magnifier and to do like adaptations so I can see it, but also that the people in the audience can see me so I won't look weird. So, yeah, my disability is for sure, I think with my art and actually one song that you might heard that I wrote really on my disease. It calls the fee in English it's cards, I guess. Yeah.

Vered:

And it's a song that is talking about the fact that, like you get your cards, you know in life and the way you play with them, with them Like it's your, it's your job, like it's your desk, it's like it's not a destiny, like it's your job to decide what will you do with the cards you get. So yeah, I don't think I ever thought about it so clearly, but it's for sure, reflecting my arts and arts.

Di:

Yeah, and I'm, I'm, as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking like it's going to be so interesting to like circle back with you in a few months and like and see where the political, the national, the global situation that we're in, where it ends up taking you.

Vered:

And I think it's going to be as well when you like.

Di:

Yeah, yeah.

Vered:

Yeah, also, and I also think that my I'm sorry I stopped you from asking something.

Di:

No, no, no no, no, no.

Vered:

I'm saying that I also think that my disability is affecting my war perception, because at the beginning of the war, when everyone was afraid, the terrorists are walking through the streets. So for me I don't have the confidence that I would see them Like. For me, the war um awakened a lot of things that are asleep. That I'm, I say, I'm stressed, I'm sorry for not having the word.

Di:

No kind of I'm thinking.

Vered:

You know what I mean like you repress ecology. Yes, thank you. Yeah, in general, like in the regular times, I know I want to see everything like you, but you know like we don't think about it. I did a lot of therapy for that 10 years ago. But with this war it felt like everything is going back and being much more bigger drama. Like I'm going down with my girl for like um very close park to my house but I don't feel confident enough to see danger.

Di:

Wow.

Vered:

So I feel. So I feel that, like every disability, it has effects on routine and, of course, with the war, like if my husband would need to go for service military, they didn't call him in Israel. Like we have. Sometimes, when you are not a soldier, they can call you in a war, as they did with thousands of people in Israel. So they didn't call to my husband. But I have a lot of. I had a lot of thoughts about what will I do if he'll go and I felt so like dependent.

Vered:

you know, in a, in a in a regular time, I wouldn't tell you I need him. I would tell you, right, I want to be, you know, but yeah so, yeah, because what you're describing is extreme vulnerability.

Di:

I, I I'm thinking of myself where I'm very lucky that I'm not going to be a soldier, I'm very lucky that I have sharp senses and I it's interesting, like I'm I the first days I didn't even walk out of where we live, not like not even a few steps, just because I wanted to make sure that my kid is safe, everybody sit in, and I just can't. I don't have eyes in the back of my head and I just, you know, with the fact that I have my sharp senses, I didn't feel like it was enough that I don't have eyes everywhere, you know. So I can only imagine what you felt and you know, double and triple and quadruple checking to see that I locked the door and, and I mean I wouldn't really like I pushed stuff against the door, it really mess with our heads. So I can, I it really messed with our heads.

Di:

Yes, Right, Right, no, but you know, like like Sorry go ahead.

Vered:

No, I totally agree. I think that the war, in a lot of ways, just like increase the regular issues. You know, like I, always have these problems and difficulties because when you have some disabilities it affect your life. But in a war, when everything is so fragile and so scary and terror, hamas, there is like killing our people just because they're Jewish. It's like them, them demonized, like an increase the the difficulties we have always.

Di:

So absolutely, absolutely, and I'm also. I'm also curious. I don't want to take up too much more of your time, but I'm also curious about how I'm really enjoying talking to you so like. Oh no, we totally have to get a coffee like regardless, but yes, I was planning to text you after.

Vered:

Can I, can I be your friend, please? Thank you for talking to me.

Di:

Oh my god, that's hilarious Same. It's like, yeah, we're going to get a coffee, but within the podcast I was. I was considering how, like I'm very affected by the world right now and I'm, and like my feelings are hurt by the world and I'm starting to get over it. I'm kind of like starting to like, okay, I now know the truth. Clearly, anti semitism is rampant and clearly it takes on different forms and I was wondering if it reshaped your perspective. At least for me, it like I got smacked in the face. I was like, wow, I did not realize this existed still, and maybe it sounds so naive, but I was wondering if it reshaped your perspective and and like how you see this as, or if you do see this as a collective trauma.

Vered:

This is an excellent question, I would say. My daughter would say to you and she's three years old Mommy, wait, I need to think. But the truth is that I feel that my answer is really related to to me being a mom, because I was not very occupied with the world or with news or with history Till now. I mean, I was very like I live my life. I try to do my best with all of my choices, with helping at the street, with being music, you know, like with everything. But I was not like being, oh, I have to live in Israel because I'm Jewish and my my grandmother was at the Holocaust and like I was like you can live in Israel, can live in New York.

Vered:

By the way, I lived in New York and it was amazing, I loved it. A few years ago, my husband went to school there because I told him he needs to do it because I want to live in New York. So I really felt like each one of us can do whatever works for him and it's fine. But I think this work gave me like an observation that there is a big mix for me and I and I hope I'm not the only one between like what's the real truth. You know, I feel the media is got crazy. I don't know who to believe. I really don't know, and I don't know if I should feel safe in Tel Aviv more than New York City, or, and I have no like my friends in Thai think they, you know, like are more safe than anywhere in the world. But in Thai you have like a lot of groups that are like like I'm saying that I feel very confused regarding what's the truth.

Vered:

I really don't know. I'm sure that there is antisem and 70 in a level that I've never know like it's unbelievable, and that my mission is to find a place that makes sense for my girls to grow up and be safe and that will have a future, but I don't feel I have an answer. I don't know if it's true to be in Israel or not. Yeah, it's very sad what I'm saying but that's what I feel.

Di:

No, it's, it's. It's very sad and it's very. I relate to it very much. I think a lot of women our age also, who are mothers, are at this point in time. You know, this is the end of November 2023. We go to sleep and we wake up with a question mark and a lot of things are just unclear.

Vered:

A lot of things and I don't think and I don't think someone has a real answer and I think this is the main struggle mentally. I think a lot of times in life we have traumas, we have like, like intersections, intersection, you need to choose and like dilemmas and there is something that is like really stronger than the other side. You know, like someone knows the truth. You need to find the professional, you need to find the best yoga teacher, you need to find the best like, but I don't think anyone has the truth right now Is this I, you, just you just reminded me of this one post I saw on a Facebook group.

Di:

You may have also seen the post where someone was looking for her friend, was looking for help for her friend.

Di:

Her friend was a therapist and she has just been in the hospital and offering her professional services to people who have been attacked. On October 7th and at this point you know we're almost two months into this she is now dealing with PTSD. She wasn't in the attacks but she's she, I mean, full on PTSD and she's dealing with not sleeping at night, terrible anxiety, afraid to leave her house. And this is actually from stories that she has been helping people overcome and things that, yeah, from secondary trauma, yeah, and what it's very what you're describing is is like even even our therapists, even our doctors, the people we turn to, I mean we are, we are all with this incredible just what is going to happen. We're in like this abyss of the unknown. And yes, and it's, and it's like if I was, if I was to sit down and write some music right now, then I would end it with like, with you know, the note before the end, so that like instead of the C note, or and, and, then and like.

Vered:

Yeah, I think this is the reason I didn't get back to the studio yet, even though I'm talking to my producer for a week now, because I can't understand. I didn't decide, I didn't succeed to choose. Should I do a war song, the new one I told you about, or should I do the song I wanted to do in September, like in which door, like, should I choose both?

Di:

Can you do both? I can do both.

Vered:

But what first Interesting?

Di:

I would do. You know what I would, I would like, if I was wise. I would say to you the answer is within you. But because I totally, I totally have something to say, I love it. Please, please do I want to say to you do the war song first, so that you you can end with the comfort of what you're working on in a peaceful time. You know it's like, it's like just leaving the restaurant after dessert rather than the, but that that's my feeling. Like I don't want, I like this metaphor.

Vered:

I like it I will think about it after a little. I like it, I can relate to that I can relate to that. I can't wait to see what you do.

Di:

I really want to dessert now. Go for it. Go for it. I think it's definitely time for some chocolate. I really, I really look forward to hearing what you do next and following you and seeing what's next for you, and thank you so much for having me.

Vered:

It was really an amazing honest, inspiring conversation with you. Thank you.

Di:

Likewise. Thank you so much. I'm really doing what you're doing and and also the the art needs you. You need the art, we need you. So now go back to the piano and being very, because that's so important.