Do you ever wonder about the magic and science behind the birthing process? Are you curious about the role of a midwife? Join us as we chat with Megan, a registered midwife with five years of experience, who chats all things midwifery, sharing insights from her journey and her passion for labour and birth. This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the world of midwifery or expecting a baby.
During this conversation Megan discusses:
• The importance of open-mindedness and flexibility.
• Practical advice on how to prepare for labour and delivery, emphasizing the importance of attending antenatal classes.
• The importance of communication, birthing preferences, and the role of partners in the birthing process.
• Two of her clients' stories - one involving a water birth and the other ending in a C-section, illustrating how a positive birth experience can be achieved regardless of the circumstance.
• How becoming a new parent can be overwhelming, and Megan emphasizes the importance of having a supportive network.
• Various resources available for new parents, from feeding support specialists to postnatal mental health services.
• The importance of seeking help when needed and embracing the beautiful journey of parenthood.
So tune in, let's demystify midwifery, birth, and early parenthood together.
Where you can find Megan:
www.pregnancytoparenthood.uk
Support services:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/about-maternal-mental-health-problems/
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/
https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/
https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/im-pregnant/mental-health-wellbeing/postnatal-depression-pnd
https://iconcope.org/
https://www.kentandmedwaylms.nhs.uk/after-birth/emotional-wellbeing-after-birth/post-natal-depression
https://www.kmpt.nhs.uk/our-services/thrive-psychological-support-for-birth-trauma-and-loss/
https://www.kmpt.nhs.uk/information-and-advice/perinatal-mental-health-community-service-pmhcs/
Do you ever wonder about the magic and science behind the birthing process? Are you curious about the role of a midwife? Join us as we chat with Megan, a registered midwife with five years of experience, who chats all things midwifery, sharing insights from her journey and her passion for labour and birth. This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the world of midwifery or expecting a baby.
During this conversation Megan discusses:
• The importance of open-mindedness and flexibility.
• Practical advice on how to prepare for labour and delivery, emphasizing the importance of attending antenatal classes.
• The importance of communication, birthing preferences, and the role of partners in the birthing process.
• Two of her clients' stories - one involving a water birth and the other ending in a C-section, illustrating how a positive birth experience can be achieved regardless of the circumstance.
• How becoming a new parent can be overwhelming, and Megan emphasizes the importance of having a supportive network.
• Various resources available for new parents, from feeding support specialists to postnatal mental health services.
• The importance of seeking help when needed and embracing the beautiful journey of parenthood.
So tune in, let's demystify midwifery, birth, and early parenthood together.
Where you can find Megan:
www.pregnancytoparenthood.uk
Support services:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/about-maternal-mental-health-problems/
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/
https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/
https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/im-pregnant/mental-health-wellbeing/postnatal-depression-pnd
https://iconcope.org/
https://www.kentandmedwaylms.nhs.uk/after-birth/emotional-wellbeing-after-birth/post-natal-depression
https://www.kmpt.nhs.uk/our-services/thrive-psychological-support-for-birth-trauma-and-loss/
https://www.kmpt.nhs.uk/information-and-advice/perinatal-mental-health-community-service-pmhcs/
Hello, hello and welcome to the UDU Hum podcast, a place to provide you with motivation, direction and for me to be your very own cheerleader If you are looking to move from where you are now to where you need to be. Keep listening, because I am going to share with you the tips and tricks that I have learned along the way from my 10 years experience in mental health. This podcast is sponsored by my god damn self, so if you are looking for home sense and affordable fragrances, look for Splendid Bliss on Facebook or Instagram. But for now let's begin. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of UDU Hum. I have a very special guest with me. I have the lovely Megan. From Pregnancy to Parenthood, which was formerly known as Bump Birth, and Beyond, megan is a registered midwife in Ken. She's got five years experience in all areas of maternity. She's a mum to nearly a two year old and teaches antenatal education in her free time.
Speaker 1:So the reason why I've got Megan on is because me and Andy went to her antenatal class, absolutely loved it. Still meet up with the mums now and I thought it'd be really interesting to hear from you, megan, because this is a whole different world coming into this space and there's so much you don't know and there's loads of things people talk about and you think what is this? And then you come on these classes and I'm like thinking about how terrified Andy was when he was on the classes and then where he got to at Labour Literally, megan, you would have been really, really proud of him. He stayed down the other end the whole time. I don't know why, but he did it. So we've got you on, megan.
Speaker 2:Welcome, you can say hello, hi hi, yeah, I'm Megan, as you said. Obviously, I live in Raynam. I live with my husband yeah, my almost two year old which is still so surreal and our dog, winnie. And, as you've said, I'm a registered midwife and have been for five years. I work in East Kent at the moment, but I'm relocating in a couple of weeks to midway, so I'm doing more like at home. And, yeah, I've got experience in all areas of maternity. So, community I was a community midwife. I've done antenatal labour and birth and I've been a postnatal midwife as well. And obviously, yeah, as you've said, I also do antenatal classes. So, yeah, busy, busy, busy.
Speaker 1:So I want to ask you is from all of them different elements of being a midwife? What's your favourite?
Speaker 2:My favourite is labour and birth. I think, oh, why's that? I don't know. I think it's just because you get that one to one aspect of it. I really like sort of getting to know the families, getting to know the couples, and obviously no labour or birth no two are the same, so they completely vary from person to person. So, yeah, it's just having that opportunity to really bond with the family, get to know them, build that trust in relationship and obviously be there for that moment where they welcome their baby into the world, which is obviously a special sort of memorable moment.
Speaker 1:And it's crazy to think about it because you have now become so important in that person's life the parents, the couple, the single person, whoever because they will never, ever forget you. Like you'll go on, you'll keep doing your thing and you'll be in lots of births and you might remember a few of them, but probably not everyone.
Speaker 2:But like you're so special in that person's journey, so that must be lovely, yeah yeah, it is nice, and you know you, yeah, I'm one that loves to chit chat as well, so I'll get on quite well with a lot of people. So it is nice to be that sort of person that, yeah, they do go on to remember, and hopefully for a good reason.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, not like oh, that mega. No, she was awful. So what have you become of me twice?
Speaker 2:Honestly, I'm not sure. So obviously I did school. I did college and I was still sort of at that. Oh God, I don't really know what I want to do with my life.
Speaker 2:But as part of my college course that I did, I had to do a placement in a nursery and in the nursery, that shadow community midwife that was based there. So I was seeing all their antenatal and postnatal women there, like you did yourself when you got your appointments, and they just got me thinking really like thinking a bit more into it. Like what do midwives do? What is the role of the midwife? Because it isn't just delivering babies, it's not just being in the hospital and doing that sort of thing. It obviously does really vary from sort of antenatal right through to postnatal.
Speaker 2:So I did a lot of research into it sort of thing. I thought, well, actually this is something I could really be interested in. And I did spend some time with that community midwife and actually decided but you know, this is for me, and it was only really when I started the degree and started the course and going out into the hospitals and doing our placements that I thought, yeah, this is my calling, this is what I need to do so here we are. So I've been qualified for sort of a registered midwife for five years. Obviously, the training is for three years, so really I've been doing it for about eight years, so it really does fly. But yeah, it's just all about I love caring for people, I love supporting people and I love, obviously, educating people. Hence the antenatal education.
Speaker 2:that I do, but it's nice to be doing all of that whilst being able to bring life into the world as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so lovely Because I was literally just about to ask you, you know, what do you like about it? And I think that there'll be so many people on this podcast the real listeners podcast right now that will think what a lovely thing to do, you know, bringing someone, you know someone's baby into the world. But then there'll be another lot of people that go. I couldn't think of anything worse. Yeah, I do have some people go how do you do that job?
Speaker 2:And sometimes I do ask myself the same question. You have days, harder days, and obviously, unfortunately, not all pregnancies do end the way that we want them, so it does have its moments as well, of course. But we can still do that caring and do that supporting and being there for families, sort of no matter what the outcome, and still be that special person that hopefully they remember going forward as well.
Speaker 1:What do you think somebody needs to be a midwife? What kind of characteristics do you think?
Speaker 2:I think you need to be quite sort of quite easy going. I think you need to be open to whatever really, because literally quite anything, quite you know you could get anything or anybody. That sort of comes through the door. Every pregnancy is different, every family are different, every birth is completely different, so you need to just sort of be really sort of relaxed, Obviously friendly, being able to have a good conversation, good communication and just yeah, just have the empathy.
Speaker 2:There is nice to be able to relate. I mean, obviously, my little ones too. I was the first sort of what five, six years of my training and being a midwife. I didn't have a child, so as much as I can still be the care and supportive midwife, in some cases it was hard to relate because I've never been a labour before, but I think now I've had my now two year old, I can also sort of relate. I can sort of say you know, I've been done it, you can do it, and I think that can make women feel a lot more sort of comfortable as well, knowing they've been there and you've got through it, and I think that, yeah, that definitely helps for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with you actually because I do think you know, if you're there for quite a long time and you're building that relationship with midwife, I do think a part of you, if you know the midwife hasn't had a child, you might be thinking, oh, like you know how are you going to help me through this?
Speaker 1:You know, because we do like to speak to people who've been for a journey, don't we? You know, we need to know that we're going to get through it and get to the other side. But I agree with what you're saying. It's about having empathy and you need to break down barriers quick, really, with people, don't you? Especially? You know anti-natal, post-natal, which, yeah, I think midwives do quite well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely. I know loads of midwives that have not had children and they are fantastic midwives. It's all about being an advocate for that as well and sort of getting to know them really quickly, knowing sort of what they do want, what they don't want, what their preferences are, so you can be their advocate and you can sort of support them and you know, if they know they really don't want an epidural, for example, then you know that you need to support them in other ways and, yeah, sort of put your hat, your sort of other option hat on and just try and get a love of sort of okay, what should we do instead then? So it's all about advocating and being that supportive person in the room.
Speaker 1:Really, I love that and that's what we, like me and Andy, really loved about your classes the fact that you know you didn't really come with any agenda, like you wasn't, you know, hyping on about breastfeeding or bottle, or you know you should do this or this is the labour you have. You was very much letting us explore all options and saying you know this is what will happen. But remember, like you can decide, you can choose what you have and you've got. It was about consent and options. I can't remember the acronym that we went through, but we will come into more about your classes. But it's true, isn't it?
Speaker 1:I think that a lot of us do forget sometimes that you know that is something that you know is painful. Let's be honest, it is. Some people say it's not painful, it's what's the other word they use. I hit my berth and I can't remember Surges. There is surges, but it does depend person to person, doesn't it really? But I love that your classes are very much like that, because you do worry. You're going to go in. Someone's going to say do this, do that, and then what if you don't have that labour already? You feel like you've failed before you've even met your baby. That's horrible.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, and. I think a lot of it is about. You know, in this sort of day and age midwives, we're there to sort of we want you to know all your choices, all your options, so that then you can make informed choices about the care you receive. So many women or families were coming into the hospitals, but more so around the COVID time, where there wasn't a lot of anti-natal education and they were clueless to be honest about pain relief options.
Speaker 2:They had no idea of the induction of labour process, for example. And then your sort of then question OK, is this care then ethical? Because you're not new to those, your options, you don't know your risk. So it's really all about informed decision making and that's what we're here to do as midwives is we want to give you all of your options and let you make the choices around your care, knowing the sort of weighing up the benefits and the risks and things like that.
Speaker 1:I think that's lovely, because I think that probably really helps with reducing trauma, because there are a lot of people that do have traumatic births and I think you know, speaking to a few people, they come away and they say I don't know what happened there, like I don't know why I had that and I don't know why it went down that way. No one explained it to me, no one told me it was all very rushed and I would have liked to have been heard a bit more. You know, you hear all these stories, don't you?
Speaker 1:So, you were very much about that, about being informed consent and asking questions and Andy was actually very good at doing that for me because I could barely talk by some stages. But you do need it, don't you? You do need to know that you're in control as well, when you feel like anything but in control.
Speaker 2:Definitely, definitely. And I think a lot of these families that do come away a little bit traumatised as such quite often, because they know that they didn't get the choices or weren't aware of their options and things and sort of just went along with it. And it's only afterwards that you sort of think, hang on, like was there other options? I'm not sure, or any thing. So you know we're there to just do the education, like I say make sure you know all of your options and choices, the benefits and the risks you know, and then you can make your choices based on all of that. And as professionals we sort of say well, we would advise this sort of decision, but you know, it's your choice and it's your choice, so it is all up to you, so I thought I'd add this one in.
Speaker 1:I don't know if anything is going to come to mind straight away, but is there something that's well known to midwives, that's not known to us, the members of the public, or to parents, to be putting you on the spot a little bit here, but is there anything you're very well aware of but we're not?
Speaker 2:I would say. I mean, I would say some families probably are aware of it, but I think something really important to know is that obviously, birth doesn't always go to plan. So we see lots of people coming in with sort of set birth plans, which are lovely and I'm not discouraging them, but it's just about being very open-minded, I think, and coming in with your birth preferences, but being open-minded to the fact that things can deter from that and things can change within a matter of seconds really, you know, and our babies very much dictate how our birth and life goes and things can change really quickly. So it's just all about really being open-minded and just yeah, just being wary of that, I guess, because we do see some people that aren't really aware that that can happen and then obviously extremely disheartened when things do change and the birth plan sort of then has to change in response. So it's just, yeah, about being really sort of open-minded about how your birth and labor is going to go and, as you know, throughout pregnancy.
Speaker 2:Even so, you know, you could begin being very low risk and things can pop up in your pregnancy, throw a little spanner in the works as such. So it's about being quite open-minded and being flexible. You know, for example, if you're low risk at the beginning and you're sort of cleared for a birth centre or low risk unit delivery, but then things change and they prefer you on the delivery suite, that's fine. As midwives we can facilitate what would feel fairly low risk birth. But on the labour ward, you know, we can make a lot of changes to your surroundings and your environment to make sort of it as comfortable as possible. So yeah, I think it's really important to be open-minded, but communicate with your midwife and tell us what you want, and we'll be able to do our best to facilitate it as much as possible.
Speaker 1:I love that and I think that's really important to highlight because I think, especially as a new parent, you are very anxious about any change in general, and I remember the pregnancy was the same. So at one stage it was that I was going to be at higher risk of getting proclampsia. So then I had to take aspirin every day. That wasn't a problem, that was absolutely fine. Baby didn't get it, I was fine. And then the next, as we were getting right to the very end, I developed strep inside of me. I was like how best to?
Speaker 2:explain it. Yeah, group B strep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, group of strep, but not I didn't have it, my vagina did, basically everyone. This is something I didn't know. So I didn't have it. My vagina fucking had it and they spent the. Even Anderson, poor fucking Anderson. So if Anderson was coming down, I can't my vagina I could basically give it to him by birthing him. So obviously that's very dangerous for new babies to have. So then that meant that I just had to have antibiotics straight away when labor started. So that meant he didn't get that. But all of these things you're like, fuck me, what is going to happen next? Like what does this even mean? But I remember getting the phone call that I've got strep and I just cried and I just felt like this is such a big deal and I felt so impacted by it.
Speaker 2:You know it does feel like that when you get a phone call, doesn't it? You know, if you've not really got, if they don't sort of discuss it as such, this is what you've got. I feel like that. But it shows, you know, okay, you need to have antibiotics, but it you still sort of had a little birth and everything, yeah. So yeah, just, there are just different elements that can pop up in your pregnancy that can sort of throw a little spanner in. But you know, I'd say, as my driver there, to sort of facilitate your, which is the best we can.
Speaker 1:So, and I think I think that's really helpful, because I think I like the way you said, like little spanners in the works, because I think what we do, we catastrophize and we think this is a huge deal, we think the worst case scenario because we're anxious. Yeah and we're out of control, but actually it's.
Speaker 1:It's okay, it's something we can work with and something I did, I did kind of know from being in this space, is that there's just so much you can do. You midwives are just so like. Andy was calling you baby doctors because you are, you're basically doctors, but for babies, like there's so much you can do and like it's so much knowledge. And even when I was in the hospital and there was other people and I thought, oh wow, like this seems to be a higher situation for them, it wasn't. It was very much like you know, just keep drinking, like we're modern to you, and I was like whoa, you know.
Speaker 2:You've got to remember. You know, as midwives, we do this every day.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You're with, although I'm saying sort of every birth, every person is completely different. Generally, all of these little little spanners as such are things that we do deal with sort of on a daily or weekly basis. So it's not uncommon and it's not very often that something comes through the door that we've never seen. So, and obviously we do work in that multi-disciplinary team with the doctors and with specialist midwives, you know like diabetic specialist midwives and things. So we all do have sort of their multi-disciplinary handovers or meetings so we can discuss your care and make sure that sort of yeah, your care is is specialised to you and person-centred and that your labour and birth can be as much as close to what you want as possible.
Speaker 1:I like that, so good to know. So, because we're talking about labour, what would be your top tips to get through labour? I know that's such a loaded question because every labour is different, but if there was some like top five things you would say to someone just before they're about to give birth, what would you say?
Speaker 2:I would say and I'm not just saying this because I teach education, but I think it's about being prepared and, like I've mentioned before, it's about knowing your options, knowing what's available to you. So attend undernatal classes if you can, whether they're NHS ones or privately sort of run, just because they cover all elements. You know they cover right from health, eating and drinking plenty right through to your postnatal period. So they cover sort of everything, cover labour and birth induction. I think it's really important to just be prepared as much as possible for everything that you know could happen really. So, in terms of what pain relief options would you like? What positions are good for labour? What snacks are ideal for labour? You know little things that you might not think about, because quite often we do see women come through that haven't even opened a book, haven't spoken to anybody, they've just rocked out and they're going to just wing it, and that is fine. But I do think in some cases it is good to know your options and choices, have a birth preference list and put it in the front of your notes so that when you arrive you or your partner can say to midwife right here and my birth preferences. This is the like this is kind of the birth I would like, whether that's a water birth, whether you want to be on all fours, you know, you know we want to know what you want. So, like I say, we can try and facilitate it. So definitely try and have a birth preference list.
Speaker 2:Consider hipney birthing. It's not for everybody but some people, you know, swear by it. We do see it in the hospital. So don't sort of feel like, oh, I'm not going to do that because they might laugh at me or they might not take me seriously. If you come in and say I am hipney birthing, then we will go along with that as well. So just, it's all about communicating really well with your midwife, letting us know what it is that you're doing, what you want, what you want us to say, what you don't want us to say. And I think as midwives we very quickly can gauge your room. You know, we know the kind of woman that wants to be spoken to, a lot reassured, a lot offered, pain, leave, or we know we quite quickly can gather whether you're a woman that just wants to sort of get on with it and you want us to just be present, but not present, if that makes sense, so we can very quickly gauge your room.
Speaker 1:So you're so interested in that? You said that because my midwife was like exactly who I needed her to be. I couldn't have had a better midwife. She was like so me. She was encouraging, she was motivating, she was saying to me go on, girl. And she was saying things like have you done this before? And like you know, when I was pushing and like if she was exactly the person that I needed and if I could have written a midwife, it would have been her sort of thing. So it's fascinating that you said that.
Speaker 2:Honestly, we just we can gauge your room and we just adjust our, our approach, I guess, depending on that person, because that midwife you had the next day we went into a room who I don't know didn't want all of that and that midwife would have sort of retracted and just been a lot more of a silent midwife, I guess and just sort of in there and let the woman do her thing.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, we can engage very quickly the kind of midwife you want us to be and adjust our approach so that again we can make your experience sort of as pleasant as and like you want it, the best we can.
Speaker 1:So how do we get through them? Contractions, then them lovely contractions.
Speaker 2:However you feel you need to. So whether that's around pain relief, hip and a bad thing, whether you want your affirmation sort of printed off stuck on the wall, you know however you feel you need to get through them. There's no right or wrong way and, like I say, some women may well be happy, sort of just laid on a bed breathing through them. Other women manage them more when they're marching up and down the room or in a berth impulse. So it really is dependent on how you want to or how almost comfortable, everybody deals completely differently. There's no right or wrong way.
Speaker 1:No, no, you're completely right. And I do think and I was actually talking to the mums of our class before I came on this, this episode with you, and I was asking them you know, what do you think we should talk about? And a lot of these questions I'm asking you and topics are from them, which is great, and they spoke a lot about how, the fact there's a little bit of competition between parents, you know, what kind of labor did you have, you know? Did you have parents? Did you know? You know, are you doing breast? Are you doing bottle? And actually, like we all decided, we all thought about it doesn't matter, like it really doesn't matter, like the baby still comes to you, the baby still comes into the world, the baby's still fed.
Speaker 1:But there does seem to be this huge pressure and I do think it's it's women putting it on women, because you don't hear men talk like that. Men aren't going. No, I want you to do breast. Or why are you doing bottle? Or you know you should go without any pain relief. It's not something they talk about. So this is a women issue and I don't know why we do it.
Speaker 2:No, I don't know, but I think it's. It's not just sort of labor and birth and being a parent that we do it. It just seems to be a woman thing, unfortunately.
Speaker 2:But as we covered in our way back in week one, not somehow, if you can remember, but we cover how important is to sort of almost train our brains on the run up to labor and birth to only be thinking positively. So when, when labor and birth is coming up and straight away, your friends or friends or friends or you know or whatnot, they want to tell you, oh, my friend's cousin had this happen, or my friend had this happen, and it all sticks in our brain, at the back of our brain. It will all come to the forefront when you start, when you arrive at the hospital, when your contractions start. Because really important on the run up to your labor and birth to shut all of them negative thoughts out and you need to just reach the brain to think positive and Google sort of positive birth stories and things like that, rather than EastEnders or one born every minute.
Speaker 2:It's not real life and dramatized for the telling. So it's really important to not compete against each other and actually support each other. You know I had a really good experience, or you know my midwife was really supportive or did this. You should try it, just really try and boost each other because it reality is, it is a journey and we all sort of back each other on that journey and bounce off each other rather than compete against each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I completely agree with you. I think there does seem to be this pressure with parents that doesn't leave. And mum girl wow, that's a serious thing, isn't it, mum girl? Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:I don't think it ever leaves.
Speaker 1:No, and someone told me that I was like oh no, because I was, you know, getting anxious about, if you know, making sure the mayonnaise was right mayonnaise I was eating and you know yeah, I think the next one I'll be more chilled, definitely, but you are.
Speaker 1:You are anxious and you know you are reading guidelines and I am sticking. I was sticking to them a bit and you know. But bearing on mind what we've just said about good birthing stories and things like that, is there any particular couple that are in your mind or a particular experience of birthing or a particular labour that you've always held on to, or you remember quite vivid labour because of a particular reason? Any good birth story?
Speaker 2:I've had lots and lots of positive, good birth experiences. The two that sort of come to mind are very similar in essence. So a lady, a lovely couple I looked after more recently, she come in very prepared, so very organized, very prepared. You could tell she'd sort of done her research. I don't think she's attended classes but she'd done a lot of research and spoken to a lot of friends that actually had positive. You know things to say rather than want to compete, but yeah, she knew her stuff, she knew what she wanted. She was very calm, very relaxed. Again, as we speak about in one of our course, as you remember probably, is how important oxytocin is on the run-up of birth and labour Obviously she.
Speaker 2:And how important being relaxed is because if you're an adult, your adrenaline will kick in and say that is what we don't want. We want your oxytocin. But your oxytocin won't flow if you're stressed and anxious. So what we need on that run-up is you to be nice and relaxed. So your oxytocin is fine.
Speaker 2:And you know, she arrived really relaxed. I think. She was doing her birth and she's done some hypnobirthing techniques. She was breathing, doing her breathing techniques, but she was very in her zone, she was very zoned in. So I turned to the partner her birth and partner for the communication aspect. But while she was very tuned in to her body and I didn't want to disrupt that a little bit, so it's really important, but partners know what they want as well. So, yeah, we communicated really well. I sort of zoned into, tuned into what she wanted and she went on to have a really nice water birth, which is actually it was all sort of very straightforward, very low risk and she afterwards sort of when she sort of come out of that sort of zone, she was so thrilled with herself and she was thanking me and I was saying, absolutely I can't take any credit because she did it all herself.
Speaker 1:You do come into a zone though, don't you? You do I wasn't even listening to, like Andy and Midwifes talking, I was just somewhere else. I was high as a kite at one point. I'm not going to lie. I feel like I was floating.
Speaker 2:There we go. See, that's a really good sort of experience. That had sort of been sort of low risk and straightforward. But again, more recently, I've had a couple who had they ended up having a C-section. But they had a beautiful labor, beautiful sort of. Yeah, she labored beautifully, she did everything she wanted, she was moving around which she wanted. She only had the pain relief that she wanted. Her labor was very much in her control and it was just unfortunately at the very end that her baby's positioning wasn't as optimal as her body would have liked. I guess that's why it resulted in C-section. So I just want to highlight here that it's not always the outcome you want. But you can still look back and say my experience was really pleasant and I actually did have everything that I wanted. I had my pain relief or I didn't have breathing techniques or I was nice and relaxed. All of that sort of thing can still happen. Even if it ends in a C-section, for example, you can still look back and think my experience was still a positive one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, I love that Definitely. And it's all about the baby's name, it's about getting that baby. I kept telling myself over and over again I'm going to meet my baby, I'm going to meet my baby. And when his head was out and they told me that, oh, my God, it's going to be minutes, like seconds now, and I was like, oh, the relief to be out of that sort of thing. So, yeah, I came out and I was like I'll do that all again. So it can't be that bad, can it? And I kept walking around the hospital, going I'd have a zoo now. Honestly, everyone must have been really annoyed with me. I think it was just adrenaline and like you're hyped up, and I think the oxytocin was flowing, yeah, and even sort of a C-section process.
Speaker 2:You know, even though they're classed as emergency C-sections because you're in labour, you can still have a really positive C-section. All of the staff all obviously work fantastically together. We can play playlists, we can play new things just to make it feel as sort of as relaxing as it can be. It is quite a daunting environment. Ultimately, as long as you're communicated with and facilitate, everything else you want, like delayed cord clamping and skin, skin things we can still do, even if things result in a C-section or an instrumental delivery.
Speaker 2:So yeah, it's all about rather than whether or not the baby was birthed from the vagina whether he had a C-section or had an experience that counts, so you can still have everything you want and a positive experience from having a C-section for sure, and I think that goes back to what you were saying about.
Speaker 1:You know one ball in every minute and you know soaps and things like that. And when you think of an emergency C-section, you know I can see it in my head. I can see someone on a bed, they're being run into theatre and obviously that does happen sometimes. But I think that's what you think about. You think it's very fast but you don't see that, like you know, like you said, like the music, you know I remember someone saying to me we had the radio on and we were singing to Westlife and you know it can actually be quite a nice experience. It doesn't have to be as daunting as, say, the media portrays it to be. So, thinking about you know the labour that's been gone. What would be your best advice for a new parent in general?
Speaker 2:I would say so for any parent who's sort of getting home with baby and things like that. So I would say it's an obvious one, but rest when you can, and it's about accepting the help. So I think, as we're very strong, we're independent, we want to do it all. It's our baby, you know, and that is that's normal. You know you've just birthed that baby. You don't want anybody else around, but it's really important that you do accept the help, whether it's from your partner, the midwife, you know any feeding specialists or family. You know. If you're having a day where you are exhausted, surround yourself with people that are supportive, even as simple, as they might not even have to help you with the baby. But if they can do the food shop for you, or if you deny, you know it's little things like that, especially when you're trying to establish the feeding, whether it's breast or bottle, you know you might not want to leave the house. So it's important about surrounding yourself with people that are wanting to help you do other things besides hold the baby.
Speaker 2:I love that you know they're your baby, you've birthed them. Yeah, you want them. Yeah, you should be doing the whole thing, and it's important for other people to do other things. You know the washing. If your friends offered to do the washing, fill your boots, do your washing I love it. So many of us don't. So many of us don't, and I remember being so stubborn when I had my little one. No, I can do it, all I can manage, but you do burn out. You will eventually get on top of you. So it's important about, yeah, accepting the help, taking it slow as well. So then, newborn early days they really don't last forever. So it's about embracing them for what they are and don't don't rush the process that. Don't sort of look ahead and think, oh, I can't wait until you know, just taking what's happening right now. You know the sleepless nights don't last forever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like that one, yeah.
Speaker 2:So every hurdle you know that you'll get over it should about being patient with yourself but enjoy it. You know, really enjoy being a new parent and in your sort of baby bubble I like to call it. That's sort of, because it's the same with sort of paternity leave, for example. Like our birth partners don't have endless time off, do they? The reality is they have to go back to work eventually. So it's about enjoying that time as sort of a baby bubble before they go back to work.
Speaker 2:Real life kicks in and it's back to sort of normal and you're trying to establish a new sort of day to day routine. So definitely enjoy it, embrace every single aspect and just take it. Take it every day as it comes. Make sure, if you need the support, that you ask for it. So, whether that be from your midwife, so obviously once you've had baby, once you get home, you'll have visits from your community midwife. You'll have their contact numbers. So if you're sat at home with questions that you're sort of really wanting to ask or you've got any concerns, you know generally the hospitals are 24 seven so you can give them a call or your community midwife, so obviously work all day so you can contact them and I know Medway also have feeding support specialists that give to community visits. There's a lot of support out there that can help you with just general sort of questions about being a new mom, things like that.
Speaker 1:And you're not alone, are you? I mean, you're not the first person to experience this or to feel lost, or to feel like you're not connecting with your baby, for instance, and you know, to not feel that you're doing enough or because you'll feel guilty or whatever's going on. And I think it's really reassuring to hear what you're saying about. You know, just take the help if it's being offered to you, whatever that looks like, but also ask for it if you need it.
Speaker 1:Because you know, me and Andrew used to say this thing very early on. We said don't be a hero. So the one thing with that is, you know, if one of us was more tired than another, you know one of us would say look, you know, I'll do the feed tonight, you just rest. And then one of us would try and be a hero back and I'm fine. So we just look at each other and go don't be a hero. And that was our way of going, like, look, just take time, I can see your wife and you need that right, you need that support. You know, I think it takes a village to raise a child.
Speaker 2:I really think it does 100% and yeah, it just just there's so much support out there and I just think it's important to surround yourself with them, with sort of supportive people, you know, and I think this is another good thing with pregnancy to parent and is obviously you have that support network. Generally, all of your due dates are sort of similar weeps apart, so it's really important, I think, to have support networks like this. I mean, some people are lucky enough to be pregnant at the same time as friends or family, so you're bringing up your little ones together, but not everyone is. So it's nice to have support networks like this, so you sort of go through the pregnancy phase together, have babies together, and then you enter that postnatal phase together and you can bounce off each other and it's just about oh, my baby did this, did your baby? Or, you know this, my little ones doing this now, and it's just about bouncing off of each other, bouncing tips, ideas.
Speaker 2:For example, I know you guys, just before I left your WhatsApp group, were talking about the jabs. Yeah, yeah, things like that as well, isn't it? You know, like the jabs, it's scary, it's daunting for a baby to go to a doctor's surgery for injunctions, and you know, it was nice to see you guys like, oh God, what tips. Yeah, so it's just it's really important to surround yourself with people that you can bounce off of and no one's. And it's just about, yeah, being supportive and sharing, sharing what you know.
Speaker 1:And I think it's like a chain reaction, like once someone says about how they've been feeling or how what's been going on, then a lot of people start to open up. So this morning we've been talking about feeding and you know not getting enough, getting too much, you know the weight. You know one of them when it got their baby weighed and was a little bit under and you know how that felt and a lot of us then resonated with that and said about our experiences. So it really does help to have that community. But this is a really good time actually to tell us all about pregnancy to parenthood. You've been giving us little snippets. Tell us everything, megan.
Speaker 2:So pregnancy to parenthood. It was known as Bump, Birth and Beyond. We've just recently rebranded and changed our name, so you may still. At the moment there's just a slight overlap of the two, so you may see both names still out there. We are going towards pregnancy to parenthood, so it's an antenatal course. It's five weeks totals of 10 hours and we cover everything. So the first week tends to be about preparing your body and mind for labour and birth. So it's all about oxytocin, how important it is to be relaxed, how important it is to be prepared. We talk about having, like writing, your birth preferences. Week two is about getting into labour. So we talk about natural ways to induce labour, so how important it is to get a baby in a really good position. Then we do cover all the options of induction of labour as well.
Speaker 1:So I really enjoyed this one for this bit.
Speaker 2:All the different options and it's just really nice then, because if you have to be induced, you then know what the options are and you've heard even just the lingo or the names of things. So when the doctor says, oh, we're going to do this, you can think, oh, ok, I know what that is. We cover pain relief options in week two as well. Then week three is all labour and birth, so it really is everything. So we touch on what we expect progress to look like throughout labour and we do talk on natural, normal labour. But then we also discuss forceps. We mentioned on two and we do mention C-section.
Speaker 2:So I think, from the feedback I get from the courses, a lot of people like this session because we don't like to keep it real Because, like I said, we really don't know how, where your labour or birth is going to go. So it may well be that it does a not-in-cease section. This session is quite interactive, like we do the demonstration of who's going to be in theatre with you. So I think that's quite a good eye-opener for you guys, isn't it To sort of see just how many bodies you can find in the theatre? So it's not overwhelming if you end up in there.
Speaker 1:And I guess if you did see all of them bodies, you'd immediately think that something's wrong and like you're like getting in a state or something bad is happening. You would, wouldn't you All of these people rushing in. But actually, when you physically do it, someone's lying on the floor and you know you get each of us to come up and you see how much we surround the bed. It does look very overwhelming, but now we know that we're prepared. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:It's just sort of that's normal, everyone's got a role to do and everyone's there for a reason. So I think, yeah, I get a lot of feedback of OK, that's really good to know and it's really good to see just how many bodies we surround In week three. We also cover sort of tearing and things like that as well, just so you can be mindful of that if that happens. We do touch briefly on complications at the end of the day, like postpartum hemorrhages, shoulder dystocia. We just brush over and it's more just so that you know the terminology. So if they're saying, oh you're, you're having a hemorrhage, you sort of think, ok, yeah, great. Or if they mention shoulder dystocia, you guys have a bit of knowledge behind that. We don't cover them in excessive amount because we don't want to sort of then put your mind, but it's more of a knowing the terminology and things if it's mentioned to you.
Speaker 2:Then we go on to week four, which is all that feeding. So we cover breastfeeding, bottle feeding, expressing, storing milk, sterilising, all of that sort of stuff. And then final week is all about caring for a newborn. So we cover sort of nappy changes. We get you actually on the dolls and the nappies, which is good fun, get you dressed with these and bath in the babies as well, and we just discuss kind of things. Newborn, so what type of rash is a normal and not normal? What to do about the cord? Because a lot of people are not sure what to do about the cord that's left on and some people weren't even aware that you have a cord left on.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I never knew that. I never knew that. I don't know what I expected, but I just thought they cut it right off. I didn't know it would be hanging.
Speaker 2:It's mostly the birth partners that are a bit like. What on earth do we? Do, we do a little bit on how to care for the cord, yeah.
Speaker 1:Very helpful.
Speaker 2:It's a five week very thorough course, but I keep it quite realistic. So it's run by registered midwives that actually were in the hospitals. So we've got sort of a front line sort of view on how things are and if things are changing. We can obviously incorporate small classes. It's obviously all evidence based.
Speaker 2:So everything we do is what happens in real life and, yeah, we were there, like I said right at the beginning, we're there to inform you, give you all the information you need to know, and then you can do with that whatever you need to do. So, whether that's pick bits that you find useful and incorporate into your preference list, and then you can go in and find the process of labour and birb, you've got more sort of manageable, really more relaxed, going in because you know what normal progress is, or you know what your options are with pain relief. In that moment, when someone's saying to you have you thought about your pain relief options, you're thinking God, what are my options? Yeah, yes, I know these are my options. I would like to avoid this, but I'm open minded to that, you know. So it's all just about taking, having all the information and then doing with it what you want to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's. One of my favourite things about pregnancy to parenthood is that we have a what? We set up a WhatsApp group on week one and I'm also in that group, so you'll have your registered course leader in the group. I share lots of videos and tips. You know, if I see anything new, anything evidence based or videos, demonstrations, anything like that, I put them in the group.
Speaker 2:But it's a really it's a safe space for you guys to ask us questions, ask each other questions, recommendations, so if you've attended sort of a really good yoga session, you can say, oh, I've just done this, you should do it, you know, and that group carries up. Well, it's there, then, for you guys to either stay in for as long as you want to or, if you need, if you want to leave. That is why you're not obliged to stay in there. We, as midwives, stay in there for up to six weeks, sort of after that last baby has been born. I tend to stay in a bit longer, but that's just because I enjoy watching all the baby pictures and watching you guys all meet up. But it's so lovely. What we do is, once the last baby's gone, we arrange a postnatal meetup.
Speaker 1:So we went to. Did we go to the pub? Where is it? Dobbies Garden Senate, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So we go to the pub, but sometimes it's we go, we go to the pub and just sit up there have a drink together. But yeah, we all we meet up and we we can all just we just all chat about experiences, how you're getting on, how you're finding things, and it's really nice to see everybody in that sort of that sort of parent sort of mode and that parent bubble and it's really really lovely.
Speaker 1:I would actually say sorry to cut you there, just from a, you know, a person going. That is what is so valuable, because you know for it, if I speak with my mates I don't know anybody from this area. We moved from Dartford, so to be able to connect to new parents has been a lifeline really, because we're all now meeting at least once a week. We meet without fail once a week, like, if it's not, how lovely is that? So a lot of us go to the baby sensory classes together. We now meet up and go for coffee.
Speaker 1:You know I've put a text in. I'm meeting some of the girls this Friday. Some of them are meeting on Saturday. So, like, how great is that that you've now got a space that you can feel connected and people understand what you're going through, because you're all going through similar milestones. And you know what I found. If, say, you know, one of the moms has gone through something three weeks in advance, I know, like what a time I've got got to go for it. I'm going to message her and go, how did you work that one out? How did you, you know, get through it, you know.
Speaker 2:So it's so helpful and we know that friends are so valuable, but ones that have babies and are going through any with you are on another level. You know, I was fortunate enough that my sister-in-law we had our babies at about 11 weeks apart, so slightly bigger, but yeah, everything I was going through with my little one. I'd message her oh, did you have this with your little help? Yeah, it's so valuable to and it's so nice to feel reassured that your baby isn't different. Your baby is exactly the same and everybody goes through the exact same things at different periods. So it's so nice to feel reassured because sometimes you may feel like, oh, my goodness, what is going on here? But then you say, oh, I had that a couple of weeks ago and you know, and you think, okay, okay, it's all right then.
Speaker 2:So it is so valuable to be surrounded with people that have either had children or are also, sort of, yeah, in the process of having them. But, yeah, that's something. That's why I hang around in the group just a bit longer, because I do like to see you guys meeting up and know that you've got each other as well, because it can be a daunting experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think I've even messaged you a few times, been like they're going to help me and literally just thinking I've got a midwife that I can message, has been really, really helpful. You know, I'm sure you wouldn't want to advocate that and say everyone message me, because then you'll be re-arranged, but you know, even just to direct me into the right area or right number or whatever I needed. It is so supportive. So where do people find you? If they want to access you, if they want to, you know, find out a bit more about what you do. How can they find you?
Speaker 2:We are on social media, so we're obviously pregnancy to parenthood now. So it's pregnancy to parenthood UK on Instagram and on Facebook, and then obviously you can Google search us as well. So just pregnancy. As I said, because we are rebranding, it might be that birth to beyond might sort of crop up instead of we are the same thing. Just keep an eye on the logo that I've got on the app.
Speaker 2:And it's the same company. We're just in the process of rebranding, but yeah, I mean I chose to do bomber from beyond, or pregnancy to parenthood out of sort of, as a result of COVID, really. So out, when we were, when we were seeing women and partners coming through the hospitals during the COVID period, when a lot of the anti-ethnic education was sort of suspended or it was on the face to face, we were seeing more and more families coming in with no idea, you know, families coming in for induction. We would go in and say, oh hi, you're here for a induction and they'd be like, are we okay, what is the like? And they would have no idea on the process. It's awful for them, you know, because they're not getting their choices.
Speaker 2:And the reality is, in the hospitals we are short staffed, we are busy, the hospitals are very busy and I would love to sit in your room and do a five week antenatal course in the space of an hour, but the reality is obviously so much to cover, as you know, we just don't have the time to do that in the hospitals.
Speaker 2:Hence why we do what I do. What I do, because it's, you know, anti-ethnic education is such a valuable aspect of pregnancy and, yeah, just like I say, seeing the couples coming in not knowing very much about what you're expecting at all, that's what sort of made me sort of branch out to have pregnancy and parenthood and think actually, I think I want to do this. This is a part of my job that I love and I'm unable to do it sort of in the hospitals, so that's why I do it separately. But it's nice seeing you guys leave the course and having learnt that sort of thing, and obviously afterwards, when I've met up with you guys and you're like, oh my God, I'm so glad you told us that I knew that. Good to be in the know.
Speaker 2:It's so reassuring to know that I've hopefully sort of made an impact on your experience. Just by when you will? Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much, and thank you so much for agreeing to come on today's podcast, and it is so refreshing to hear from midwife and to talk all things baby related and anti-natal, and I think that there are a lot of people out there that would be really self critical, quite hard of themselves, thinking that they need to know it all, and actually I would argue that a lot of us which is muddling through, you know, we're asking someone what you know, what happened when this happened to your baby and what do I do now, and we don't need to have it all together. It's just about, you know, taking one step forward, isn't it? And, like you said, you know reaching out for help or accepting help if you need it. So if there is anyone on listening right now and they are struggling with being a new parent, what would you say to them?
Speaker 2:I would say, depending on what sort of thing you're doing right now, you can see if you've still got a community midwife that visiting or in contact with you. I would say, have a chat with them. Health visitors are also really, really good. I mean, laurie, you might remember from when you met your health visitor, they do question your mental health. They do. They do, yeah, they discuss it with you and they make it feel incredibly normal, because it is incredibly normal to have days, especially in the early days, where you're thinking I'm not sure if I can do this. This is really and I'm really tired and it is completely normal.
Speaker 2:So definitely speak to sort of your you can do community midwife, sorry and your health visitor, if you've still got contact with them. Yeah, I also say that there are a lot of. There's a lot of advice and support out there online as well. So the Pandas Foundation is really good for discussing postnatal depression and changes in that postnatal period. You've got mind as well. Mind is really good. It talks about postnatal depression. Icon is one for support supporting new parents, the same as lullaby trust I share a lot of, yeah, really good stuff that you share on your Instagram about that.
Speaker 1:Loads of things that you share that I'll click on from lullaby trust really good stuff, yes it is, and I put the information in our goodie bags that I give out as well.
Speaker 2:So about safe sleeping and things like that, and Tommy's is really good as well. Yeah, I would say, make sure you like I say you use your friends, use your support network as well, because it is completely normal to have days like that, and your and your partner. So, yeah, don't be a, don't be embarrassed or afraid to talk about how you're feeling, because they may be feeling a similar way. It's quite daunting as well. So, use each other, bounce off each other and obviously, if you feel you are concerned about your mental health, then speak to your GP sort of sooner and see what sort of options are available in more of your local area.
Speaker 2:Love that sessions. One thing to add is the hospitals do tend to have a birth after thoughts. It's called service. So if you do experience any form of trauma or you feel a bit traumatised by your life experience, you know it might be that you did end up with a really sort of emergency, categorised C section perhaps, or it might just be that everything happened ever so quickly and you weren't able to be able to do that.
Speaker 2:So if you feel a bit and you feel quite traumatised, speak to your community drives or even the hospitals directly, because they do have sort of a program or a kind of counseling service that can go back through your notes and really sort of debrief you on your Wow, how good is that service wow and you know what I bet.
Speaker 1:A lot of people don't know about that.
Speaker 2:No, no and you know where. I currently work now. We get a lot of feedback from it so, yeah, it's just a good opportunity to just sit down with a midwife health professional, go through your notes and say this happens and then a lot of people sort of not leave, you know, leave having a better understanding about what then helps them, sort of emotion.
Speaker 1:A lot of the time, it just needs to be walked through it. So how do people access that then? Do they have to talk to the community midwife team to then?
Speaker 2:yeah, so where I currently work now, we do give out a leaflet in your discharge paperwork. I'm not sure about midway or other hospitals, but yeah, do speak to your community midwife. I'm sure all hospitals have a similar service as what we do, but yeah, it is something that we get really good feedback from. Just like I say, it gives everyone an opportunity just to talk about their experience and feel listened to and heard and debriefed really.
Speaker 1:Well, megan, you've been amazing. I know you would be I know you've been amazing, but you know what? You sold yourself short a little bit when it came to your classes. You know what. You didn't talk about Snacks. You didn't say that you provide the snacks, megan, and that could entice people.
Speaker 2:I conjured it with health a little bit, don't I, because I talk about how important it is to eat healthily. And I do provide pot drinks as well. That's very important. You get a goodie bag on week five as well.
Speaker 1:So you get knowledge, you get your belly full and you also get a goodie bag. What could be better? But thank you so much, megan. Thank you for coming on. What I will do everybody on the show notes. I'll add all of the services, megan, that you've mentioned, and any resources so people can look back on and again, you've been a great guest. Thank you for coming on. I appreciate you. You are very welcome. Bye, bye.