Do you ever find yourself juggling an endless list of tasks, wrestling with feelings of overwhelm, and wondering if you're the only one struggling to keep up? As a working mum who wears multiple hats, I am there too.
This episode covers:
Do you ever find yourself juggling an endless list of tasks, wrestling with feelings of overwhelm, and wondering if you're the only one struggling to keep up? As a working mum who wears multiple hats, I am there too.
This episode covers:
Hello, hello and welcome to the UDU Hum podcast, a place to provide you with motivation, direction and for me to be your very own cheerleader. If you are looking to move from where you are now to where you need to be. Keep listening, because I am going to share with you the tips and tricks that I have learned along the way from my 10 years experience in mental health. This podcast is sponsored by my god damn self, so if you are looking for home sense and affordable fragrances, look for Splendid Bliss on Facebook or Instagram. But for now, let's begin. Hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of UDU Hum. I hope you are well.
Speaker 1:This is the start of a brand new week, so whatever has happened last week, don't worry, because this is a brand new start. I apologise, I actually didn't release a podcast episode last week. I have definitely been dealing with trying to juggle and balance everything and what can I lie? It's been a little bit difficult. I am somebody that is working. As you know, I've nearly got a five month old he will be five months on the 12th of December and I have been looking after him, but then I've been working and, if I'm honest, when I finish work I want to get straight back with him. Then I have another business.
Speaker 1:There's a lot going on. Essentially there's a lot going on, and then we add Christmas into the mix and try and manage your social life and manage your household and managing yourself. There's a lot. I'm sure your listeners are thinking, cry me a river, laura, but actually there is so much all of the time, isn't it? Sometimes I just sit down and think I can't do another thing, and I think there will be a lot of you that listen to this right now that really agree with me. I don't know how we meant to do it. There's like life admin. There is so much admin, just genuinely in life, like setting up doctor's appointments or going to change something, or managing your insurance or changing energy providers or the mortgage has gone up. There is so much going on. There's no wonder that we all feel quite wiped and we all feel a sense of ugh. I just want to switch off. Hence why loads of us look really, really forward to holidays, don't we? So I hope this quality of sound is okay.
Speaker 1:I am actually sitting on the living room floor, andy and Anne sitting in bed, and I'm recording this on a Saturday evening. Woo live in the dream how my Saturday evenings have changed, but I wouldn't change it for the world. So they're already in bed, andy's having an early night as well, and, yeah, I thought you know what. This is the perfect time to get shit done, get things done. I've done the kitchen, I've hoovered, I've got stuff done in the house and now I'm ready to be with you all.
Speaker 1:And I thought, as I've been dealing with being a bit overwhelmed recently and I just find it hard to manage everything like, yes, there is enough time. I'm a great believer in that, but sometimes, you know, when Anderson's napping, I've got a choice, you know, do I want to work, do I want to tidy the house or do I just want to sit in front of the TV and zone out? And, if I'm honest, the third option is what I choose. Because when you are so on and you're stimulated constantly and I'm like a child at end today and I'm bloody like hi Anderson, how are you and you know doing all these different voices and you know God knows what? When he sleeps, I need to calm down, I need a sense of oh, I need to make myself a drink or lunch, and I think that's okay. I think it's okay to give yourself breaks. I think it's necessary actually to give ourselves breaks.
Speaker 1:You know, we kind of underestimate how impacted we are when we are overstimulated, and you might be overstimulated for a variety of reasons. It might not just be because of children. It might be just, you know, a really stressful life events right now, or a really heavy workload. You know you're managing multiple projects or there's a lot of life change recently. There's many reasons why we can be feeling this way and be feeling overwhelmed, and I thought it'd be good to talk about it, because you're really not alone. Like I've definitely been feeling that way. You know, I just feel like it's constant. There's always something to do, oh, and everything in the house just breaks at the same time, doesn't it? So our boiler broke, our dishwasher was already broken, we need a dryer there's so many different things and you're like, oh, my goodness, you know, give me a minute. Do you know what I mean? I need a minute to catch up, sort of thing. So I know I'm not the only one and I know a lot of people feel that they can't see spinning multiple plates and it can feel really hard to know how to stop the plates or know what one's to focus on and what to prioritize.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say that word, so I thought that we'd talk about that today, today, things I did today I took Anson to a baby sensory class, but it was a Christmas one. It was so cute. Honestly, these classes, right, make me so broody. Okay, you'd think going to classes with lots of different children would be. You'd be like ugh. You know you just had a five-mile volt, but no, I cannot wait to have more children. I'm so excited. I'm coming off topic, apologies.
Speaker 1:So how do we deal with overwhelm? And first, I think it's really important that we recognize that overwhelm is very different for different people. You know, what overwhelms me is going to look very differently to what overwhelms you. It really does depend on how much stress we can handle. You know our experiences, our life events contribute to that and how we manage stress, for instance. So you know, it might be that you've got two people you're thinking about right now that are going through similar situations, but yet they've got completely different experiences about that, and that's because we're all very, very different. So please take that into account.
Speaker 1:So if you're thinking that I shouldn't be feeling this way, you know this is silly, it's absolutely not. If it's important to you, it's relevant. You know, I say this all along. If it's hurting you, if it's upsetting you, then I want to hear about it. You know, I really want to hear about it. So I'd love to hear you know what is causing you overwhelm at the moment. You know, let me know. At you, do you hum podcast on Instagram or you can go on our Facebook community group. You know what is causing you overwhelm, you know. Is it Christmas coming up? Is it money? You know what is it. Sometimes it can be quite helpful even just to get it off your chest, but I'm going to share with you some ways that I think might help.
Speaker 1:So, in terms of being overwhelmed, as I've just mentioned, it could be finances, it could be family, it could be your weight, it could be your physical health, your mental health, friendships, conflicts, projects, work, having a baby, not having a baby, trying to have a baby there's lots of different things that cause a lot of exhaustion and overwhelm, essentially. So what is overwhelmed you know overwhelmed is that sense of I'm hitting the breaking point. I feel like things are getting too much. Feeling exhausted after the working day, feeling like your mind is racing, not knowing how to stop. You know, feeling like if someone gives me one more thing I'm going to explode. That is overwhelm. That's what I think is overwhelm anyway.
Speaker 1:So, essentially, how do we manage overwhelm? What do we do? Well, first things first, you need to recognize it. Like, how do you know when you're overwhelmed? You know what does it feel like. You know what happens in your body. You know what do you start telling yourself.
Speaker 1:You know, I notice when I'm overwhelmed I'm a lot. Well, I'm very irritable. You know I haven't got much tonderance. I'll notice like silly things will start annoying me, and you know things that would never bother me. I know it's like I want to eye roll or I'm short-tempered with people, or you know I feel like I want to jump the gun when I'm speaking. You know, and that's not me, you know. So that's a real indication that I'm overwhelmed and I'm not doing great.
Speaker 1:Okay, somebody else it might be not sleeping, for instance, or not eating properly, you know. So it's really important that you know what it is for you, because you really do need to recognize it so they know what to do with it. You know it's very hard to kind of move forward or to work on it, when you kind of bury your head in the sand and look we've all done it, but it doesn't help. It doesn't help a lot of the time. A lot of time these feeders come back to the surface anyway. So why not just deal with it head-on? Let's do that.
Speaker 1:So, first things first. Then, what are you feeling in your body? How do you know you're feeling overwhelmed. What's going on? You know straight away. Something might come to mind and it's obvious why you know. It's obvious why you'd be feeling this way. It's the case of accepting it. Okay, this is happening. You are feeling this way. Okay, you know, don't criticize yourself, don't say you're silly, don't say you shouldn't be feeling this. Accept it. This is how I'm feeling. This is a feeling. Okay. Remember, we can change our feelings. We can change how we feel about a situation. So this is your feeling. Okay, this is what's happening to you right now. We recognize in that and now we go straight into some techniques. Let's get this overwhelmed away from us. Let's kind of, you know, get ourselves on onto a better path.
Speaker 1:So it might be that you start to write down all of the things that are in your mind, maybe it's a to-do list. You know, getting it all out, talking to someone about you physically needs to get everything out, you know, so you can feel a bit lighter, a bit brighter. You know, sometimes Andy will say to me you know what's wrong. I can see you're feeling anxious and I'm like I don't know, like nothing. I was like no, I usually say nothing, nothing's wrong. He's like I know something's wrong, like what is it? Like let's just talk about it. And then I'm like this is wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong. And then like it'll just all come out, you know, and it might be really silly things, but a combination of all of them it adds up right, and it hurts and it's annoying. And and do you know what? I've got? Really good example of this? I saw a post on Facebook about this.
Speaker 1:A lady went to a therapist and she was saying she's very overwhelmed, she's very stressed, she just can't handle life. Okay. The therapist said to her okay, well, what's the main thing that's causing you a lot of stress right now? And she laughed and she said you don't want to know. The therapist said go on, you know, tell me, tell me what it is. The lady said this is stupid, like it's silly, like it's not even worth talking about. Then the therapist said tell me. You know we're all through everywhere. Please tell me. She said the dishwasher. I'm sick and tired of putting the dishes in the dishwasher. I don't want to wash them and then put them in the dishwasher. It's just causing me too much stress. You know what the therapist said run the dishwasher twice, okay?
Speaker 1:Why is it that we make certain rules about how we should live, how we should behave? If you're not feeling great, let's change it up. Things don't have to be perfect. I'll give you another example. So when, before Anderson was born, I actually YouTube'd how to perfectly fold baby clothes, right, so I've got, you know, like boxes of like baby clothes and vests and everything like that, and they were perfectly, you know, in there. They looked really Instagrammable. Not that, you know, I put on Instagram, but it looked great. Okay, as time's gone on, it doesn't stay like that, and that's okay. You know, we fold it, we put it in, but it isn't going to look as great as it did before because I haven't got time to focus on that, and that's okay. So, just like this lady.
Speaker 1:Then she then started doing things differently. She started running the dishwasher twice. She had a shower laying down. She did lots of things that you wouldn't typically do, but when you've got no energy you can't give it your all. She did eventually have showers started up, obviously, when she had a bit more energy, but she was just wiped. She was on.
Speaker 1:So what can you do for yourself? You know you might have to get things done, but it doesn't have to be perfect. You're cooking the dinner, you know. Can you just get a jar of sauce instead of doing it fresh? I mean, it's not going to kill anyone, is it? You know, sometimes it's about thinking about your energy and your energy goals and your energy losses, and if you're feeling really depleted right now, you know what can we do to make that a little bit easier? So have a think about that.
Speaker 1:There might be something you can do that, just, you know, really changes things. You know, is it that you can record yourself saying things to your partner to get things out of your mind and then you can listen to it later? Or is it that, I don't know, I'm trying to think costumes for Christmas, nativity? You know they've said you've got handmade makeup or whatever. I mean, come on like you can just go and get one bolt, like you know different things, like that, or you can do one that's not as perfect as you did last year, but the kids don't care, they're still excited, and you know. Then you have guilt and things like that, but at the end of the day the kids don't remember this stuff anyway.
Speaker 1:It's us that puts so much pressure on ourselves when it comes to stuff like this. So notice it, accept it, and then we're gonna try and work with it, you're gonna talk it out, you're gonna, you know, look at how you can kind of minimize that for you. I find it really helpful to do a grounding technique. Okay, grounding exercises. So essentially what they are is bringing you back into the here and now. So what that means is bringing you into a space of where you are right at this moment. So it's not thinking about the past, it's not thinking about the future, it's being right in the moment. Okay, also, side note, can tell I'm still a bit overwhelmed because we have this clock right. So the house is decorating now for Christmas. I found this clock in a charity shop. It's gorgeous. It's like a Christmas castle guarded by guard teddy bears. Okay, I don't know if I've solved that properly, but it looks lovely and the clock, the tick is so loud Something you don't know about me.
Speaker 1:I hate little sounds. I can't explain it like if someone's tapping a pen or the clock, or just little noises. If it's big noises I don't care, but it's little noises, it drives me insane. So that's something to learn about me. Anyway, I'm going to move on. I hope you don't hear it. To me it sounds very loud, but to you it obviously won't. So I can't remember what it was.
Speaker 1:Ground and exercise, so, essentially, bringing yourself into the hearing house. So it could be, you could do like the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I can't remember exactly. Actually, yes, I can. So what we mean by the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 is you're focusing on different elements of yourself. So it's activating your different senses, and what we want to do there is basically get you thinking like you're in the present. So essentially, what we're doing here is thinking about things. You see things, you hear all different things like that that can really kind of get you.
Speaker 1:This podcast is sponsored by Laura Burke Training and Consultancy. That's right, my mental health training company. So if your company needs mental health, I say, or workshops around mental health. I'm your girl. I am here to provide tools and techniques to staff to help them improve their mental health. So if you'd like to find out more, go to wwwlaura-burkecouk. Thank you. You can get you away from the stress you're feeling and into a place of feeling maybe safe, secure, relaxed.
Speaker 1:So what we mean by the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 is essentially activating different senses. So you do 5. So 5, you look around the room and find 5 things you can see. You then go to 4, 4 things you can feel around you, then you go to 3. You pay attention to 3 things that you can hear. Then you go to 2. You'd be aware of 2 things you can smell, and then 1 is one thing you can taste. So it might be the coffee you just had, a chewing gum, etc. That works an absolute treat. So I'd really really recommend for you to try it. Give it a go. Let me know if it worked for you, because a lot of the time we don't do these things, but these are things that can make such a difference and people would argue well, how is me doing this going to make a difference? But it really, really does. So it's important for us to focus on this and regain our sense of control and give us that kind of achievement that we're looking for. So that's what we can do when we're feeling overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:The next one is breathing exercises. Please don't underestimate the power of breathing. It can be really really helpful to get yourself into a space where you're focusing on your breathing Really bloody helpful, because you're releasing your body's stress. You're also calming your body down. You're giving your body a sense of ah, essentially Really really helpful.
Speaker 1:The third one prioritise what's really important here, because what I find is when we're stressed, everything becomes a priority, and that's actually not true. Even something as simple as I don't know, you need to get rubbish bags Even that becomes actually. That probably is a bit of a priority, because you need them. Okay, what's another example? You need to buy another casserole dish, but you're not making casserole for a while. That's not a priority right now, but because of how you're feeling, everything feels huge. So it's important to regain control and prioritise what is important and what's not A traffic light system, what's red, what has to be done urgently, what's orange that is urgent and not that's urgent, and what's green, where we can do this in our own time. Sometimes it can be really helpful to prioritise and move away from everything has to be done. Now I'm going to start panic, I need to get this done, to come into a place where it's like okay, right, I'm going to work on this, I'm in control and I'm not going to feel as overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:Last but not least, be kind to yourself. I shared at the beginning of this podcast there's so much that we've got going on and there's so much change. That happens always. It's understandable that you're feeling this way, but what you don't want to do is stay feeling this way. So be kind to yourself, do something nice to yourself, recognise how hectic you are and how much you're juggling, and please don't underestimate yourself. If you're feeling a certain way, it means something. You're feeling this way because there's been too much going on and it's your body telling you I need a break, I need you to look after me, I need you to love me, I need you to do something that relaxes me. So think what that is for you Because, honestly, if you start implementing that, that can make a major difference. Well, that's all from me, everyone. Thank you for listening and I will see you all next week. Goodbye.