Feeling overwhelmed by Christmas stress? Imagine a festive season where you're able to balance your emotions, manage your finances, and celebrate in a way that perfectly suits your needs. I'm your host, Laura Burke, inviting you to a heart-to-heart discussion on how to navigate the often stressful holiday season. Together, we'll tackle issues like dealing with recent bereavement, isolation, and financial pressures. We'll also unearth practical strategies to set expectations and manage financial burden. Remember, scaling back, asking for help, and placing people over material things is not only okay—it's commendable.
This episode is sponsored by Laura Burke Training and Consultancy Ltd
To connect: Email: youdoyouhunpodcast@gmail.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/youdoyouhunpodcast Facebook: Search 'You Do You Hun community'
As always THANK YOU for listening to the pod, if you have a minute to rate/review/share I would really appreciate it!
Feeling overwhelmed by Christmas stress? Imagine a festive season where you're able to balance your emotions, manage your finances, and celebrate in a way that perfectly suits your needs. I'm your host, Laura Burke, inviting you to a heart-to-heart discussion on how to navigate the often stressful holiday season. Together, we'll tackle issues like dealing with recent bereavement, isolation, and financial pressures. We'll also unearth practical strategies to set expectations and manage financial burden. Remember, scaling back, asking for help, and placing people over material things is not only okay—it's commendable.
This episode is sponsored by Laura Burke Training and Consultancy Ltd
To connect: Email: youdoyouhunpodcast@gmail.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/youdoyouhunpodcast Facebook: Search 'You Do You Hun community'
As always THANK YOU for listening to the pod, if you have a minute to rate/review/share I would really appreciate it!
Speaker 1:
Hello, hello, and welcome to the UDU Hum podcast, a place to provide you with motivation, direction and for me to be your very own cheerleader If you are looking to move from where you are now to where you need to be. Keep listening, because I am going to share with you the tips and tricks that I have learned along the way from my 10 years experience in mental health. This podcast is sponsored by my god damn self, so if you are looking for home sense and affordable fragrances, look for Splendid Bliss on Facebook or Instagram. But for now, let's begin. Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of UDU Hum brought to you by me, laura Burke. How are you all?
Speaker 1:
I feel like I have spent a lifetime since I have done a podcast. Not going to lie, it has been overwhelming. Doing it all. It is so hard managing everything. I am not going to say Anderson Targ he is definitely not. He is my god damn priority. But having a baby that is 5 months old and having a business and having another business, having a podcast, trying to have a social life, trying to clean the house like it, is a lot. So I am sorry for the lateness of this one.
Speaker 1:
I do apologise, but this one is really, really important, actually, because I know that there is a lot of people out there right now and you might be one of them listening to this who don't actually like Christmas for a variety of reasons. You don't like Christmas because you have recently experienced a bereavement, or perhaps you are feeling quite isolated right now, or perhaps there is something that happened in your past and that is why you don't like Christmas, or perhaps you don't like the pressure, you don't like the money aspect of it. There are many reasons why Christmas can feel quite daunting and actually doesn't feel as exciting and as glamorous and as upbeat as everyone makes it out to be, because for some, it is just a really hard holiday. It is a really hard time in people's lives and we need to be understanding of that. Someone has lost someone recently, for instance. Understandably, they are not going to be heavily excited about Christmas. They are not going to be jumping from joy around it because they have lost someone, and if this is you listening to this, I am so sorry that you have been through that and I am so sorry that this has been impacting you.
Speaker 1:
I think it is really important that, if you are feeling this way do reach out, do talk to people around you. Do let people know where you are at and how you are feeling, because what I know is that none of us are mind readers. We don't know how people are feeling all the time unless we tell them, unless we ask the question and we get to know what is going on for someone. So, if you are feeling in a certain way, reach out to your family. Let them know you need them. Talk to your friends. It is not until you have that really heartfelt conversation you recognise wow, a lot of people are feeling it and it feels tough and if you are one of them people, it is okay. It doesn't make you bad, it doesn't mean you are a grinch, it just means that things are tough right now and that is okay.
Speaker 1:
So, firstly, my advice for this is to seek support and do look at your supportive network and perhaps you don't have people you can speak to. There are many charities. There are friend and services, there are helplines, there are people you can call. There are people you can call if you feel isolated right now. But what I wanted to do today I know that there's going to be a lot of pressure for people around. Money situations, well-being, speaking to family members that you don't want to speak to, or you've got a host of people that you don't actually enjoy. Spending a lot of time with. That all feels so tough, so I wanted to break it down and think about what we could do if individuals are struggling with different things.
Speaker 1:
So, firstly, I think that a lot of people find it very pressurizing at Christmas due to their financial pressure. You know, the cost of living crisis makes it even harder, and how people cope with Christmas is dependent on their circumstances, right? So perhaps you are struggling with your finances right now. Firstly, I think it's really important to set your expectations, because I think a lot of people Christmas are like I need this, I need to go to Mark's Suspenses, I need to buy that, I need to buy this.
Speaker 1:
But what you need to remember is Christmas is about people. Christmas is about who you're spending time with. It's not about, you know, the most lavish gifts and everyone wearing matching Christmas pajamas. And you know, don't forget, this is a holiday. That's just a marketing campaign for lots and lots of people and lots of sellers, so we need to be mindful of that. We don't have to get matching pyjamas. We don't have to do the elf on the shelf if we don't want to. You know, I know that's hard when you've got children, but if we can't keep up with all of these things, it's okay.
Speaker 1:
Set your expectations. What do you want to achieve? You know it's the case of okay, I want to get these presents. How can I do that? You know, do you need to access financial support? Could you make lists? Have a budget? Could you be open with others and say look, you know, unfortunately I can't afford that. This is my budget. Or, you know, it might look a little bit differently this year. Or, you know, I have to scale it back in terms of food. Would anybody be able to contribute if it was the case of your hosting? And you know what People get it? Everything's gone up, literally everything. You know asking you to fund you know a dinner for everyone and things like that is a lot right.
Speaker 1:
So reach out and tell people, don't be afraid to do it. We're all in the same boat. They're really lucky that they come into you and get in. You know a Christmas dinner from you. It could even be that you go and vintage. You know the app, or it could be. You look on eBay for gifts, or it could even be charity shops and things like that. You know there are some great finds in charity shops.
Speaker 1:
You know, and it's really, really important that you try to avoid comparisons when it comes to Christmas because, like I said to you, you see the families and then match a pajama. She see this, she see that, and I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but if you can't afford it, you know you're feeling the pressure. Don't do it. You know, many of us had Christmas years and we didn't have matching pajamas and guess what? We're absolutely fine, we had a good time. We remember our presents. You know what we remember? We remember our parents sitting with us playing, or we remember the effort or we remember the excitement of waiting for Santa. You know all of these things, okay.
Speaker 1:
So be really kind to yourself and recognize that you can only do what you can do. Okay, and that's that. So the way to look after you during this stressful time. Be gentle and patient with yourself. You know. Look after you. Give yourself what you need as well. Remind yourself this won't last forever. You know. If you're finding Christmas really difficult, it won't last forever. Christmas is going to come to an end quite quickly. To be honest, it does, you know. It comes and goes in a flash.
Speaker 1:
Set boundaries, and this is really important. Perhaps family are taking over, perhaps they're asking you to do this, perhaps they're telling you to do that and you're feeling incredibly overwhelmed. Take note of how you're feeling and set boundaries. Learn to say no. You know I'm not able to do that. I would. That is something we may be able to look at in the future, but not this year. I am making the Christmas dinner and this is what I'm doing. You know, if you would like to host dinner next year, you can do what you'd like to do. Set boundaries, okay. This is the way to keep yourself in line with you.
Speaker 1:
As soon as you go against that, you then start to feel frustrated, agitated, impacted. So let yourself feel your own goddamn feelings. If you're finding Christmas hard, feel it, it's okay. Have a cry, have a meltdown. Do what you got to do, it's okay. I'm giving you that permission, almost Okay.
Speaker 1:
But do take time out, do take time away, you know. Do recognize that you can't all do it on your own. You do need to pull, you do need to get people involved. Christmas can be quite a you know a difficult time, a stressful time, a busy time. So do ask for help, you know. Do say you need this done. You know, do set chores for different people in your household, you know.
Speaker 1:
Do say if you need it and look, save it for something like Christmas wrapping, for instance. I like Christmas wrapping when I fancy it, when I'm relaxed. When I'm not relaxed, it's the worst thing ever and I just literally want to throw it all out the window. So you might have someone in your household, like I said, my mum, my mum loves wrapping, so she's a perfect person saying mum, would you like wrapping my presents? I won't do this, but I have done in the past. I'm not going to lie and she's loved it. She loves it. She puts the tunes on, she sits there, does it. She loves it. So if someone loves it, that's your Christmas gift to them. It won't be a wrap present and that's your gift.
Speaker 1:
Let yourself have the things you need. If you need a break, if you need quiet time, allow yourself to have that. It's okay. It's okay to have that for you. But it may be.
Speaker 1:
Actually the way that you can support yourself this Christmas is to plan ahead. You know if you're not going to feel good or you know that you're going to struggle with coping, what can you do? Do you think you'd need a walk in the morning by yourself? You know if, say, your routine is important to you when it comes to Christmas. Maybe you have a itinerary or step by step, or perhaps you are really struggling with your mental health right now and you're worried about having things like panic attack flashbacks. Maybe you make a know what can help in that moment. So there's always things we can do. There's always a stage of us looking ahead. There's a list of services you can always call 116123 for in the UK Samaritans. If you're not in the UK, please find a helpline for you. You know it doesn't mean you can't cope. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Just make sure you want to chat, you want to get things off your chest. It's important to have them services near you, okay and available to you. So have them numbers ready or on your phone.
Speaker 1:
And I think managing relationships is a big part of looking after yourself this Christmas. You know, if you find other people's questions difficult, maybe think of some answers in advance. You might be things like for a woman oh, when are you having a baby? Then you know, and they don't know, you're actually trying for a baby. You know that might be really difficult. It might be.
Speaker 1:
You need to think about how to end difficult conversations. Maybe you're around family members and things have been quite tense and it's the case of saying how do I walk away from this situation? Or does someone come and grab me when it's a bit much? What do we do? You might suggest an activity or an easy way to move on If you want to help end an unwanted conversation. You know it could be you take a phone call, you go and play a game or you go for a walk. You say, oh, I need to check on the dinner, whatever it might be. You might let people know your plans in advance, okay. So it might even be that when you're talking to people, it's like this is our, this is what we're doing this Christmas, this is the amount we're all spending. If we're doing Secret Santa, this is helpful.
Speaker 1:
And it might actually be that you don't want to see people this Christmas. That's okay, it could be. You try and think of ways to keep a distance while you're there, or you might not even be there at all because you want to spend it by yourself. But just think why that is, you know, and what you're going to do for you. And, last but not least, how do we talk to other people about this? Let people know you're struggling, it's okay, you're human, you know you could join an online community, you know.
Speaker 1:
I think side to side by side is a one. You could tell people what they can do to help you. More importantly, you don't have to justify yourself to others. If you're feeling it, you don't have to explain how you're feeling. You're just saying, look, this is how I am, this is what I can and can't do, that's okay. That's the way you're establishing and setting boundaries for you. So I was just wanting to do this short podcast to let you know you are okay, your feelings are valid, you are allowed to feel how you feel and you can make your Christmas how you want to make your Christmas.
Speaker 1:
Don't forget, if I ask kids what they got for last Christmas, they can't tell me, but I bet they can tell me the games they played with you and the fun that you had with them and how you know if they got a bike or something and you ran around being silly with them. That's the stuff people remember. They don't remember prizes, they don't remember presents. They remember time. So never, ever forget. Time is everything. Presence will come and go. Thank you very much for listening to me, and I'll speak to you next week when we're nearly at Christmas. This podcast is sponsored by Laura Burke training, the consultancy, that's right, my mental health training company. So if your company needs mental health, or saved or workshops around mental health, I'm your girl. I am here to provide tools and techniques to staff to help them improve their mental health. So if you'd like to find out more, go to wwwlauraberkcouk. Thank you.