Redefining Success and Increasing Visibility: A Holistic Approach with Coach Steph Wharton

Ever found yourself in the relentless pursuit of success, only to realize it's not all it's cracked up to be? Our guest today, Steph Wharton, a leadership and visibility coach, knows that story all too well. Steph shares her compelling journey from burnout to balance, including her family's immigration from Argentina to Canada, and the lessons she's gleaned along the way. Her perspective challenges the conventional wisdom of success, urging us to reclaim our lives rather than striving ceaselessly up the success ladder.

But, it’s not just about redefining success, it's also about visibility. Steph shares the principles of her signature visibility framework, demonstrating how leveraging visibility opportunities can yield a greater return on investment. She sheds light on how positive visibility outcomes aren't tied to constant social media promotion, and how collaborations and speaking engagements can build relationships, clients, and a sense of belonging. Think of this as your guide to maximizing visibility without getting lost in the digital noise.

Lastly, we tackle a topic that’s often tiptoed around - money. Taking a deep dive into diversifying goals beyond wealth accumulation, we explore how to manage money for the experiences we truly desire. Steph shares her experiences and insights on erasing the stigma around savings and the fear of failure if financial freedom isn't achieved. As we wrap, we discuss Steph's upcoming mastermind launch and the importance of balancing success with truly enjoying life. So join us in this enriching conversation on leadership, visibility, and a more sustainable approach to success.

About the Guest:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/stephwharton_/
Whole Damn Vibe Mastermind + Retreat: https://stephwharton.com/mastermind

Steph is a Latina Leadership + Visibility Coach, who thrives on breaking the rules and prioritizing the “whole damn vibe” life and business. She specializes in helping underrepresented folks build confidence and make their impact wildly visible without being constantly glued to their phones.

When Steph isn't busy coaching clients, you can find her with a big glass of red wine, watching Spanish shows on Netflix, and dancing bachata. Let’s be honest, she's day-dreaming of one day living in a Spanish villa with her wifey!

Transcript

Violeta: 0:01

Hola, welcome to the Money Chisme Podcast. I am your host, Violeta, a first generation Mexican immigrant. I am a real estate investor and business owner. But let me tell you, just like other first gens, I was not taught much about personal finance, and I mean, needless to say, I was bien perdida. I was so lost and I struggled a lot in my personal finance journey, and that's why I created the Money Chisme Podcast where each week, I bring you the chisme on how to manage and grow your money and other money talks to help you to kick ass with your finances. All right, so let's get into this week's Money Chisme.

Violeta: 0:50

Hola, and welcome to another episode of the Money Chisme Podcast. And today I am joined by Steph Wharton, a leadership and visibility coach, and she is here today to kind of talk about balancing that big drive for success while like trying to balance that with. You know, is this the lifestyle that you actually want? And so it's something that you know we need to start asking ourselves, and I know a lot of us are kind of like, especially like me. We're going into that mindset as well, so I'm glad to have this conversation. So, Hola, Steph, thank you so much for joining me today. And you know, before we get into the conversation, you know, introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about you and you know what you do.

Steph: 1:40

Sounds good and first of all, Muchísima gracias for hosting me on your podcast. This is like super exciting.

Steph: 1:46

And I really think this is going to be an amazing conversation, like we're clearly very aligned with a lot of our stories and just like our mindset going forward. Like you said, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Steph. I was born and raised in Argentina, live in Canada now for like 20 years and basically I started my entrepreneurship journey around 2017-2018. And through that I've done so many pivots, like from like brand design to coaching for designers, to visibility coaching, and now I found, I think, what I like to call my like true, I don't know if it's final, but let's just for now say my true final niche, which is leadership and visibility coaching. And really for me, it's just it really stemmed from my passion to be able to help people just build confidence in who they are, their own leadership, their brand essence, also that they can amplify your own, your own impact.

Steph: 2:40

It's all about being able to like, make a difference and do things that you're just really deeply passionate about, and I think that visibility is just a beautiful way to be able to do that, because the way that I run visibility is very sustainable. It's all about collaboration, speaking engagements and just having a lot of fun while you serve a bigger audience in a bigger community. So that's essentially what I do, what I love, and, because of the sustainability part, it just allows me to pull back a little bit from the hustle from the business and just have a little bit more fun with my life instead. So, like, prioritize, making memories, spending more times with my wife having a baby. I'm currently pregnant and I feel like that would be really freaking hard if I was just like hustling all the time for, like, trying to make more money and trying to hit the next milestone. It's a little bit not quite the vibe that I'm going for.

Violeta: 3:31

Yeah Well, first of all, congratulations on the little one and but yeah, I agree, like that is kind of like my mindset that I'm switching to, because I was like in that drive, like constantly, like you know, trying to succeed and trying to like kind of like prove yourself as well. I think you know, in the Latinx community we I mean, we get that pushed onto us from the beginning anyways to like, you know, you got to work hard and get, you know, a good job and success, success, you know, success. And then you know a little bit of like you know some of us, like you know, want to prove ourselves as well and I know I fell in that trap. And then it's like you start doing all these things like going to school and trying to, you know, drive for that career, get that promotion and all that stuff. And like I think you know, I started hitting some type of kind of you know, revelation, I guess you know, around maybe a few years ago, where I was like you know, like is this really what I want to do? You know, like I don't know if I want to do that. And then I fell onto kind of doing the blog and then the podcast and all that stuff.

Violeta: 4:44

And now, you know, trying to grow this business. And so now I think I'm at that pivot point as well where I'm like I'm ready to just like start taking charge of my own, my own life, basically, especially, you know, like being military, um, that control is gone a lot of times. So this, like I get told to do whatever, and you know I was climbing that ladder. And now I'm like you know what, you know I want to reclaim my life, I want to do what I want, and so, um, you know, planning to do that in the next year or so, Um, and pivot from that, so, um, curious to see what your journey was like. You know how, how did you go through that Like, did you go through like that, uh, that high drive and like what made you like realize, you know, like I want to just, you know, do my own thing, to control of my own life.

Steph: 5:42

Simply like the very, very, very short answer is burnout, 100%, getting really burnt out, working really long hours, taking more on that I ever thought I could. That's kind of what triggered everything. Um, but for a little bit more context, I really resonate and relate with what you were sharing, because having the whole life for me to immigrate from Argentina to Canada, like I saw my parents work so frickin hard to rebuild their careers, to rebuild their retirement fund, to do all these things that they could provide for us like a better lifestyle, a better life for themselves as well. Um, they're hoping to retire right, like they're still working on that plan and that, obviously, whether it's a family upbringing, culture, just society in general, that drills into you. What you were talking about about going to school, getting the career, getting the like white picket fence, like all the things that you're going to check off the list it really like hammered in this feeling where, like I got to be the good girl, I got to like behave, I got to play by the rules, do all the right things, and in theory, there's a certain beauty to that. It's like, okay, let's work hard, let's strive, all that stuff. But it really led me to that instance, where you just kind of look around and you're like, uh, this is not the life for me, like I've been working so hard to prove myself but it's like what for? Because this isn't my version of success, this isn't what's making me happy.

Steph: 7:10

And when I reached burnout and corporate, I was in insurance for about seven years it's six and a half, just under seven and I was doing the job of like two different people Uh, somebody was on matlion at the time, so I took on a couple of their accounts, slash their role, and I was getting so burnt out, experiencing panic attacks like depression, anxiety, all the things. It was kind of like triggering a lot of things that were probably already within me. I just had an experience until then and that I was like I'm done and I started exploring courses and entrepreneurship. I went full time in my business, but I started mirroring what I was so used to, which is the working hard, the nine to five mentality, the let's hustle, let's do more, more, more, more, more in order to be successful and make a name for ourselves, and all that kind of stuff. Right, and again I found myself not only just working nine to five, but working like eight, almost 12 hour days sometimes, and I was like no, no, no, no no.

Steph: 8:05

How am I in the same space again where I'm just burnt out and I'm not really finding joy or like a break from the day to day. Even if I love my business, it's still work right, like it was still. It's not why I'm here, like I feel like we all have two missions or like two purposes in life. And one is very impact based, like what do we want to do with our business, or with charity, work or whatever that might be, but how do we want to make an impact in the world? Right? And then the other one is well, what do I want for myself?

Steph: 8:38

And I was never fulfilling that one, so that for me was kind of like that wake up moment where I was just I want to step back, I want less calls on my calendar, I want more white space to just do whatever I want, even if that just means taking a two hour nap, which super came in handy when I got pregnant because my first like trimester I was just so beat, so exhausted and taking two hour naps was mandatory. So to be able to scale back from working eight, 10, 12 hours to working one hour a day throughout my first trimester was life changing and I'm like I need to bring more of this. So that was kind of like my journey into having this kind of like shift in priorities slash desires, slash what I want my business and my life to look like.

Violeta: 9:26

Yeah, yeah, I think that's what I'm going through right now is like I want more control, but I also, you know, I'm doing this business but, like you know, I am in that point where I'm trying to set it up so I can do that stuff, cause I same thing, I want to be able to be outside in the backyard with my chickens and, like you know, with my step son and a little one or whatever you know, just like have the ability to, you know, like be, like you know I like today or next week or tomorrow, I just want to go and like relax or whatever, or do a family day or whatever it may be.

Violeta: 10:06

So that's the goal that I'm hoping to set up with, you know, the money, cheese, my podcast and the business and stuff like that. So I'm hoping to create all these systems and stuff so I am able to do that. And so I'm wondering, like, so, from there, you know, what steps did you start to take to, like you know, be able to switch that from like working those eight to 12 hours and burning yourself out, cause I'm starting to get there because, like, trying to do this with the nine of five, like it's tough, like I go to work and like, come home, take a little break, and then all my free time is, you know, spent on trying to do this stuff. And so, like I want to, but I'm taking the time right now that I can, so that way I could take some steps To when I do finally quit that, you know, get out the military. This is it, but I still have that flexibility. So what, like what were your first initial steps?

Steph: 11:08

I want to say just like quickly before the fact that I think it's so beautiful that you have that, the duality between the military and the business.

Steph: 11:18

Like I know, I've worked with a lot of clients who went for full time in their business and then felt so much pressure to make more money and to hit all these sexy milestones that you see everybody talk about on Instagram, and we ended up talking a lot about the shame that they had where it's like, well, I don't want to go back to nine to five, and it's like, well, what if just having whether it's a nine to five, a part time job, some sort of like volunteer paid hybrid, whatever what if that releases a lot of the pressure that you now have and then you're able to grow this amazing, like sustainable business that you want, without the pressure where it's like I need to pay the bills? So I just wanted to say, like, of course, like for a lot of us, that going full time in our business and whatnot, and like scaling it and amplifying in whatever ways, is super sexy but, also.

Steph: 12:06

It's just, it's kind of beautiful to be able to just like appreciate the little things, whether you love it or hate it, whether it supports you or not. It's just like it's an opportunity in a way, which I think is really freaking awesome. But, to answer your question, one of the things, to be honest, for me, it's kind of my title gives it away, but it was visibility for me. I didn't know it at the time, but when I was designing in my business as like a brand strategist, slash brand designer, I realized that a lot of the times when it came to the ease in my business and how clients came to me versus me trying so hard to show up and take up space and sell and promote a lot of it had to do with speaking engagements. So it was either I did like speaking at an in person conference, I did some podcast interviews, I did some other like cool, like collabs and like partnerships with some friends and some other people in the online space, and I started to realize that it wasn't just for me fun to like collaborate with people, but it was actually giving me a platform that wasn't just social media, right, so a lot of it had a longer shelf life. Or it was more impactful because you got to hang out with people. I supposed to just people consuming your content and it getting lost in the noise, so I didn't realize it at the time, but when I started to pay attention I was like, yeah, excuse me, I think there's like something here. So I started to like reverse engineer. I'm like, okay, where did this come from? Where did that come from? How did that happen, essentially?

Steph: 13:41

And I ended up basically like generating what I call my signature visibility framework, which is all about like stepping into your confidence and thought leadership and using visibility, collaboration, speaking engagements in order to amplify that. So it's just really about owning your voice, taking up more space and being like bam, like doing it in front of like hundreds, thousands, like millions of people and through that you create, you get to create a lot of impact. So you get to basically just like share your story, share your unique like frameworks or concepts, whatever that might be. And it actually a lot of the times I know a lot of people are scared to take up space and to like start flexing that kind of like thought leadership muscle and like really just speak out of their own like brain, thoughts and ideas.

Steph: 14:28

But the more you do that, you start to almost get like this, like resonating from people where they're just starting to reach out and whether they invest in you or not, irrelevant but people that finally feel like hurt and seen where they're, just like I finally get it, or that finally just lands in the way that I needed to hear in order to take action, to feel like I belong to whatever and that is so freaking beautiful. So that can lead to new friendships, it can lead to clients, it can lead to collaboration opportunities and it's just so freaking powerful and because it doesn't rely on you showing up every single day on social media, it's more like, hey, let's do an invisibility event here or let's do a speaking engagement there. It's sustainable because you get to show up and the ROI gets to be so much greater. It continues to bring in opportunity, sales, whatever, what I like to call like out of the blue, which is really freaking cool.

Violeta: 15:25

Basically, that's what I am kind of like, you know, going through and understanding, now that I'm seeing that, that, like, that's why you know, like, a lot of people collaborate all the time and you see them pushing it, like collaborating, collaborating because that is, you know, yeah, that's very impactful to you know, drive not only sales, but like that network. And you know, even if, like, they could be like, hey, you know, I know somebody that could help you. I know you know a visibility, a leadership and visibility coach and you have that network in itself and you know, in the background you have this system creating, you know, some leads and people that could work with you. So once you started doing that, like, how, like, how did it start working out for you?

Steph: 16:10

Honestly, yeah, like it's going really well. It's one of the main ways that I market, slash, show up for my business. It's like you said, you get to just have fun. You get to experience referrals. Like one of the first ones that I did was me doing a guest training inside of somebody's free community. So now I usually charge for like guest trainings or guest coaching. But at the time I was like, let me do a bunch of free ones, Like who cares? It's just the exposure, the experience I get to get more comfortable speaking in front of people.

Steph: 16:41

And the person I collaborated was my now like business bestie. We live in the same city, we hang out all the time. The fact that we developed that friendship was like one of the biggest, like coolest things ever. And then she ended up referring a client to me. A couple years later she ended up hiring me. Like then we worked on her confidence, her leadership was showing up. She ended up hitting like her first like multiple five figure months and then her first six figure a year in business. And like now she's working with somebody else and like it's just it's cool to be able to see how we all get to either be friends or collaborate or refer or hire each other in like, basically just like leverage our network and we're all like uplifting each other in different creative ways, Like I've had through some of the visibility events, where I will hire them and then they'll hire me.

Steph: 17:31

And it's just, it's cool to be able to see that because there's no hierarchy. It's not. Hey, I'm making I don't know multiple five figures a year. You're making multiple six figures a year. So we can't like, we're just not on the same level.

Violeta: 17:45

It's like no.

Steph: 17:46

I pitched myself once to somebody who's like a multiple seven figure earner and I was like, hey, I would love to be on your podcast. And with that pitch, she like sent me a voice note back and she was like, oh, I love like the way that you reached out. And now we talk all the time like we're not business besties, but it's just like. It's just so freaking cool how that can happen. So it's just the potential is really cool. So I've been absolutely loving it.

Steph: 18:11

My clients have been loving it, like whether it's people that want to legitimately like be a speaker professionally and like speak on stages, or whether it's people that just want more creative ways to get seen. It could be like a lot of the partnerships that we create. One of my clients ended up hosting like a visibility event. It was a bit more like a collaborative directory kind of thing and then they ended up making a bunch of sales through that and it was just organic. They weren't pitching themselves like that could have been so much more like intentional, strategic, but it was just them having fun amplifying other people's platform, voices, mission, whatever and then making money off of it.

Steph: 18:50

So it's cool how it doesn't always require you to be on a stage or like show your face or speak or whatever. It's more about how can I get creative with how I'm partnering up with people in order to share my message on a larger scale. So, yeah, I've been loving it. I definitely recommend it. Like the fact that you're like, oh, I want to do more of this. I'm like, yes, get it. Like, go do it, You're gonna love it.

Violeta: 19:15

Yeah, definitely I'm excited, I'm getting out of my comfort zone and stuff like that. And you know, and like I said earlier, it's a little bit more difficult and this weekend I was able to go to a retreat and that was awesome Because I started seeing that impact of like networking and stuff like that. So that was fun, Head of Blast, and you don't have to work like the eight 12 hours and but you're still making. You know, you're still making money. You're still like providing for yourself and have more free time now.

Steph: 19:46

That's the biggest thing is having more free time. I will be completely transparent, though Like I don't want to be one of those people are like, oh yeah, I've got all the freedom in the world and I work one hour a day. Like, yeah, I did that for either five or six months this year, but now, as I'm prepping for mat leave, I've Actually, for the last month, give or take that one has been a month so far. So for this month and the next two months, I'm gonna be working a lot. I'm planning on working like eight hour days, like putting in a lot of intentional work and planning for visibility, for my upcoming Lunches, like all that stuff, because I'm going on mat leave, so I want to be taking three months off after the baby comes, and the way that I do that is One just by making that decision and setting very strong boundaries and setting up my contracts and all that kind of stuff that way.

Steph: 20:34

But through visibility, I'm planning like a launch for my mastermind and retreat. I'm planning I have like a challenge that I'm gonna make passive, so I'm gonna drive traffic to that. I'm going on a visibility tour myself. So like whether that means booking speaking engagements, I'm hoping to do one in person soon, locally. So I'm basically mapping everything out so that I can take the free time, and the reason I'm sharing this is because I think it's important for people to understand that if Freedom having that flexibility that hold them by lifestyle is a goal, you also get to have both. You get to have the intentional hustle, if you will, when you're planning to go on vacation, to take a month off or to go on mat leave or to do whatever it is that you want to do.

Steph: 21:19

If you work, you want to launch yourself right. So you get to leverage visibility, take the time off, intentional hustle, have all the free time in the world to take naps and go to the beach and salsa dance and whatever. So, yes, the duality exists. I don't want to be one of those persons that just like Preaches one thing and then behind the scene is doing another, because, no, I do both and I'm perfectly happy doing both.

Steph: 21:43

But To circle back to your question, you're asking basically, like, how things have shifted and how things look now that things are more sustainable visibility. Okay, so, basically, one of the things that I'm like really freaking proud of, and I think it's honestly something that I love to tap into as my measurement of success, because, no matter how much revenue Visibility has brought into my business, no matter how much Success my clients experience and all that I feel like, if I measure my own success through like, oh, I made six figures, or, oh, I hit multiple, so or whatever, mm-hmm, it continues to perpetuate that chase that we have to get more and earn more and whatever. So what.

Steph: 22:27

I've been tapping into is For the first six months of this year I started to prioritize making new memories, so I was like, let me try and do like one a week, just one a week. We either go on an adventure, go on a date, take a nap, just whatever is just strictly for me to make me happier and feel like I'm actively Living my life, versus just work, work, work, work, work.

Steph: 22:52

Mm-hmm and I ended up making which totally friggin like shook me. Ended up making 83 new memories, slash adventures, slash dates. In six months that wasn't one.

Violeta: 23:04

A week that was like an entire year's worth.

Steph: 23:06

I was like how did this happen? And it was like the randomest like stuff, like some of it was free, some of it was paid. Like I've been salsa and bachata dancing a lot, I even started teaching some mini lessons.

Steph: 23:19

Like during the summer I went to like a bingo night, went out for drinks, tried like cross-country skiing for the first time, like just such a wide, random array of like little adventures and memories that now I have I get to keep. And especially as I'm like gearing up to like start a family, I'm like I know that's gonna be pressure-filled, I know I'm gonna be like sleep deprived. The baby's gonna be crying 24, seven. Like my life's gonna look very different.

Steph: 23:49

So I took this as like a challenge to be like how can I prioritize me? How can I have fun? How can I create intentional time with my wife so that we can have this for ourselves while it's still just a tool, us plus our cats, and then just, yeah, make our life a whole damn vibe. So that's kind of the impact that it's had. It's just going from working ridiculous hours, burning out, always chasing the money, to now having a happy life and being like I get to have the business and the happy life and I don't think I could really want anything else. Like I have big goals, like sure, like big audacious, like holy frickin, like I can't believe I'm gonna go after that goals.

Steph: 24:30

Yeah, but at the same time, it's just part of the journey, like it's just, it's that will come. Like, whether it's now, next year, in five years. I'm sure we all strive for more, but as my life is right now, I'm like no, I love it. Like this is what I want, this is what I've been working so hard for.

Violeta: 24:48

Yeah, yeah, that's, that is true. Because, like I was going Like I can relate to that because, like I am kind of like now, especially after like the retreat and stuff, was like you know what, like I think I really did fall into that hole of like the hustle. You know, it's like it was my nine to five and then as soon as I got home, I got a freaking you know start doing stuff on here, especially like when I was launching this course that I have like man, yeah, you're right, like it it's work. I was like, oh my god, I was like it's. So I was, I was, it was like a lot of hours I was working and and my whole focus was on that for About like the month and a half, I think. And um, and then I kind of like now I'm just realizing which, but the effort's good, because now that's going to be passive. So, like I put a lot of work on of it on the front side and then, you know, now it's just kind of like maintenance a little bit here and there, but it's going to be a passive thing to like drive, uh, you know like, you know like income and stuff and um, but I had like the realization, yeah about, yeah, about last week, when I was over there and I was like you know what, I'm going to take more time to also, like how you were saying, make more memories.

Violeta: 26:05

And it's funny because, yeah, I call my husband, was like you know what, like, uh, I think I've been too like hyper fixated, and him too, cause he's trying to do a um, like a woodshop. I don't even like 3d printing and all that stuff. He does that on the side, like he sells on Etsy. So we both were getting into that. And then, like on the weekends we did a little bit of family time, um, but I'm like all right.

Violeta: 26:29

Well, now we have my stepson here, he's going to school, he decided to do the school year here, so now it's like all right, we got to like prioritize making memories, spending time with each other. And you know, like I do wonder, like once I do quit my nine to five job, like I don't want to fall in that trap again, like you were saying that, that the people that like quit and then it's their full time thing, and then they feel that pressure, like oh, I got to make money, I got to make money and everything like that and or like I got to make more money, make more money. So, like, what are your thoughts on that? Like, uh, or I guess, like tips or advice that you would give someone like, especially like me. Like, once I get get out, like to not fall in that trap again.

Steph: 27:11

Yeah, that's actually really a question. I feel like there's so many tangents or like angles that I could take it in.

Steph: 27:17

Uh the first one that comes to mind is a lot of the reasons why we fall into that trap Like so naturally is because that's the goal. The goal is typically replace my nine to five income, so naturally we put a lot of pressure on the money Makes sense. So, instead of that is, how else can you diversify your goals in order to have something else to celebrate, to, um, basically define success for you so that you know you've made it and you don't have to put in that extra hour because it's like no, no, no, I'm successful already. Like we got this and like that really allows you to rest, to like, step back a little bit and through that, not only do you have more energy, but you also start to build a lot more confidence because you already truly believe that you're successful as you are right now.

Steph: 28:04

So, that's, I think, like one of the key things I would say is just define what success looks like for you and build goals around that that don't necessarily have anything to do with money you can still have goals around money absolutely fricking loosely but put a lot more weight on what actually makes you happy so that, yeah, you can like tangibly see that you are already there and you're continuing to build on that. Because when it comes to like the hustle mentality is okay, I need more money, right, so we need to make more sales, earn more every single month, every single year. But something that I found has worked really well for me the past 10 or 11 months is I've been focusing a lot more on the money that I get to hold, so managing more those goals, setting up different savings accounts for whether it was for IUI to have a baby we created one for that created one to buy a home officially bought a home and moved in last month. A separate fund for, like, fun and vacation. So diversifying the goals like that.

Steph: 29:07

It didn't really become about how much money do I get to make every month, but how much money do I get to sprinkle into all these different accounts, even if it's like a tax account which like not that much fun, but like hey, we got to do it, like let's save for taxes, and I found that that was really freaking empowering, because the more I started to celebrate how these accounts were like growing in different ways, the more they kept growing and all of a sudden I'd have like, like for IUI, for example, it was like north of like five figure investment and I was like you feel that like your cash flows, like a wreck when that comes out.

Steph: 29:49

But I remember when he came out last year it came out from a savings account. So it's just like, oh, I'm like, look at that, like we didn't even feel that, like we saw them and they go out, but you wouldn't feel it as much. And then the same thing happened with a home. The same thing happened with like furnishing our home. We like we bought like the dining set, we bought like a couch and outdoor party of furniture the one I'm seeing on right now and those were all things that I thought we would have to wait to furnish our home because I'm like buying the house in itself it's so expensive here in Canada. I know it's very expensive in the States as well, depending on what city, like what area you live in. So it was like we're barely going to be able to buy the house, like pay the down payment, let alone furnish it.

Steph: 30:31

But as we looked month to month at the different bills like multiple five figures going out, it was all like we were like I don't know we were like I don't know we it was all going out again from savings.

Steph: 30:41

So then the next month we're like we can buy the couch, we can buy the dining set. So, like, obviously we're still holding back, like, as you can see behind me, like our walls are so bare, there's so many things that we would still love to do, like I love your setup behind you, it looks so beautiful. So there's things obviously on the wish list, on the to do list, and we're going to continue saving for those things down the line. It might take a couple months, might take a couple years, who cares? But I think just switching that mindset where it's like I don't need to make millions, I just need to, or I choose to manage my money better, I choose to keep and hold my money so that I can spend it on the things that I want to, whether it's material things, experiences, vacations, whatever that like, whatever your priority is. I think that also helps you feel really abundant because you don't just make money like you keep money.

Violeta: 31:33

Yeah, that's so true. That's one of the things that I aim to teach is that it's not going to matter you can make like millions, but if you like mismanage that, like you might as well be making like 50,000 a year or something you know like, because it's not going to matter if you don't know how to manage your money and how to keep your money and stuff like that. And so that's definitely, you know, like one of the things that I learned, definitely a few years ago and I'm very like passionate about that because, like, you can do a lot, like you know, by just you know allocating and, and, matter of fact, the episode that came out, you know, you know before this one I was talking about how you know I'm going to start teaching my steps on that and you know, and we've teaching him, like all right, you know you, you have account here and you have an account there, like once for savings, we have one for travel only and then one for emergencies and stuff like that Similar where I was doing IVF, and now it turned into like surrogacy, like that's the same thing. It's like over six figure investment. You know, on that, you know, for just the chance and like, but luckily and you know well, I guess not luckily, but I planned it to where you know, I came out of other other savings accounts and you know I came out of an equity from some of the investments that I made include this house and stuff like that. So so that allowed me to fulfill other dreams, just because you know proper planning.

Violeta: 33:05

And so, yeah, I agree 100% that you know keeping more of your money. Knowing how to manage it sets you up no matter, and you don't even have to make that much money, like you said. You know I see people like some of my friends that you know are they make decent money or whatever, but you know, obviously they're not like you know high earners or whatever, but they're out there in the other, in other countries, and join and or whatever, and it's all because they, you know, manage their money, they have an account for that and and plus, they know how to do points and all that stuff. So you know that's another thing you know how to get those like little loopholes and those perks to what are like your future goals that you have of for your business and basically your life, like your plan, especially now that you're going to have, like your family.

Steph: 33:56

I know it's so weird. So I've been like daydreaming, like journaling, meditating, whatever, like all the things. Just naturally not on purpose, it's just something that comes up on like what I want my big, like vision or my next big goal to be. Some of the things that have been coming up, and I definitely think I need to be open-minded as to like how things might shift with a family, but I have like a couple like business and like life goals that I'm starting to get really excited about. So, like one of the things is I want to be able to like support more people in amplifying their own impact, becoming more visible. So I'm going to go ahead and like relaunch my mastermind with a retreat. It's going to be it's my first time hosting a retreat.

Steph: 34:35

It's going to be so freaking, terrifying, exciting, all the things. And just hearing you talk about the retreat that you just got back from and like seeing the footage, I was just like that looks like so much fun, like I need to freaking go ahead and do this. So that's one of like my big, big goals. I'm hoping to have like a ton, ton of fun, just like launching it, not put pressure on it, and just like go all freaking in this fall. So I'm going to go ahead and do that. That's probably like my biggest like business thing, and then for life, interestingly enough, I'm even more terrified about the life goal. So I love the idea. I love travel. I used to travel twice a year when I was in corporate. Then we went full time in the business. The quarantine like a pandemic hit and all that stuff. So we stopped traveling and I missed that. I missed that a lot. So I think one of the things I would love is I came up with this idea.

Steph: 35:30

In Canada is very it's a very common term. I don't know if it's very common in the States you can let me know but it's called like when you're like a snowbird. So basically you retire and every winter you go to Florida or you go to wherever, somewhere warm, right, so I want to do that, but like now. So I would love every winter to pick somewhere. So maybe the first winter I feel like we would probably start in either Spain or Italy, because my wife's Italian, so I either get to speak Spanish every day, which would be such a freaking vibe, or I get to try and get away with Spanish and maybe learn a little bit of Italian. I don't know. But basically pick a different country or the same country every year and just disappear for one month to three months. I think that'd be the coolest thing ever, but I don't know. It just sounds so like new and different and terrifying.

Steph: 36:21

So I got to like myself up and see if I can make it happen and I think we're going through that season anyways.

Violeta: 36:28

I feel like the, the, the generations now are having that shift anyways on, like you know what, like it is not worth it to work like all our lives and for what? Like you don't even get like much retirement towards the end, and I know the whole retirement thing.

Steph: 36:45

I always had like such like a chip on my shoulder around that I was like, oh, like I would like flinch or whatever you never, know what retirement is going to have. Like, are you going to be able to retire, are you going to have the funds, are you going to make it like not to be too dark, but like you never know. So it's just like why wait forever for the potential hypothetical possibility to finally have fun and do the things?

Steph: 37:07

that you want, but in terms of like, like a last bit of advice or something, I would say one like don't shame yourself, because there is something to be said to put in a lot of work at the beginning like.

Steph: 37:20

I get it. You don't have to hustle like. You can still do it in a manageable way. But sometimes our desire drives it and we genuinely want to work a lot right, and that doesn't mean you're failing. It's what makes it really hard to then dial it back and achieve the kind of freedom and flexibility that you want to is the shame that we add on to it. It's the oh, I don't have freedom, oh I'm doing things wrong, oh I have the wrong strategies or whatever, and you keep piling on in that narrative. It's not constructive and it just leads you to try and do more, try different things, try even harder, and then you end up hustling even more and going farther and farther away from the freedom that you wanted in the first place. So I would say cut the shame. It's okay. If you're hustling, totally cool. We all have different seasons. Whether because you're just starting out or because you have a big sexy goal that you want to achieve, totally fine. Do what you need to do in that time.

Steph: 38:20

And then the second thing is start small, making it a mandatory thing that I have to do it every week. Let me just try, like it has to be, like one a week if I have time or if I want to. It doesn't have to be super set in stone and just release thing a little bit of like the boundaries and the expectations that I had set around it, so do whatever looks small for you. That could mean taking a lunch break. If you don't right now, it could mean only taking some evenings off, taking weekends off, taking a day off, and you keep like graduating from that and going bigger and bolder with whatever you want your freedom, your flexibility to look like.

Steph: 38:57

And I feel like that makes it so much more manageable because it's not a oh, I did it or I failed, it's I get to do it in the most imperfect way and I'm succeeding because I'm doing it imperfectly. So there's no way to mess this up. And the next thing you know, you end up doing more and more and more and all of a sudden, yes, you're going wine tasting, you're going to the beach every week, you're taking the naps, you're doing whatever, traveling all across Europe without even checking your phone. And that all took building up, it took the momentum of releasing the pressure and just going. I'll just do it in little ways. So, yeah, no shame and baby steps.

Violeta: 39:36

About your like mastermind that's coming up. I don't know if you're launching that yet, but, like, if they do want to work with you, like, how can they reach you?

Steph: 39:45

Definitely. I'm actually planning on launching that September slash October of 2023. So it's coming up within the next month or so. So anybody who's like resonating with the chest that we've been having today, who really wants to step up, like their leadership, their visibility, do more speaking, amplify your impact. Basically, what I love to say is the whole mastermind is all about prioritizing sustainability so you can create more reach revenue and rest while embracing the whole damn five, five sell from day one. Definitely invite you to apply. You can reach out on Instagram. I'm stuff fortune underscore and yeah, we're going to be launching that for 2024. The retreat is going to be here in wine country, so I mean I'm thinking of incorporating like either salsa or bachata dancing. We're going to have wine tastings. Like masterminding is going to be like I'm getting really frigging exciting because I love. I love where I live. I thought I would want to live in like Spain for the longest time, which would still be really cool, but I feel like I found my own little oasis in Canada.

Steph: 40:41

So, having a retreat here would just be such a frigging vibe. So, yeah, I definitely invite anybody who just wants to have like a no pressure chat conversation, find out more details, reach out. I don't bite. And I also have the visibility tour challenge for somebody who just wants that baby step. It's just all about booking speaking engagements. It's really tangible small video by sized challenge. But, yeah, just reach out. Let's be friends, let's collaborate and that's it. Thank you so much for having me.

Violeta: 41:07

Awesome, thank you. I will definitely make sure to put that all in the show description and you know again. Once again, thank you for coming on the show and having this much needed conversation of like balancing, you know, success and actually living life and enjoying life. But other than that, that's it for this episode and I will see everyone in the next one. Bye, ciao. Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and share so others may find this podcast. If you'd like to be a guest on the show, you can email me at infomoneychismecom and don't forget to follow me on all my social medias that are listed below. Hasta la próxima, bye.