How I used Real Estate Investing for Infertility

How did I use real estate investing to help build a family? This week I share how I leveraged my real estate investments to fund my surrogacy journey. Surrogacy is taboo and it is an expensive process. However, with the equity of my home and the cashflow from rental properties, I was able to afford to fulfill my goal of having a family. 

It's been a quiet period on my usual platforms, and I'm finally ready to share the intimate details of why. Plus, I'm eager to share insights about my upcoming free webinar on real estate investing, demonstrating my relentless pursuit of growth and learning in this ever-evolving industry. 

Chapters

• 0:01 Surrogacy Journey and Real Estate Investing
• 10:32 Surrogacy Costs and Financial Planning

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hola, hola, welcome to another episode of the Manichisme podcast. And you know I'm dropping an extra episode this week because, you know, to make up for missing last week. Um, I totally didn't get a chance to record something and so I missed last week. And you know, I'm just going to give like a life update and kind of tell you and talk about, you know, what's been going on with money, cheeseman and me in the background and you know, if you're in my email subscribe list, you'll kind of already know what the big news was, and you know I just want to talk about it, give an extra episode to make up for it. So this past month and a half, I think, I've kind of been pulling back from social media, for, yeah, from like Instagram, and I haven't really been doing TikTok, which kind of sucks because I love doing TikToks, and I've been able to kind of like sneak some podcast episodes here and there. I missed last week, but it's just been, you know, kind of a struggle because my daughter was born three weeks ago and I've just been, you know, surviving in just survival mode. You know she's a newborn and I'm a new you know new mom. Uh, I do have a stepson who's like 14, but he was like six years old when he came into my life, so that was pretty easy.

Speaker 1: 1:35

And, uh, newborn stage, oh my God, has been such a struggle with, you know, being sleep deprived and trying to get stuff done. And you know, even though it's, you know, me and my husband we are both have like 12 weeks off and you know it's still a struggle because trying to balance getting stuff done for the house because again, um, if you didn't know, um, I plan on selling this house. So we're like painting, trying to update it and do little things here and there to, you know, just get it ready to put on the market. And that's been a huge struggle with a newborn. And so, yeah, I've just been pulling back and doing things.

Speaker 1: 2:22

Here and there I may pop in social media or on threads or and I do try to keep up with the podcast, but last week, oh my god, was a struggle. She like I couldn't, I don't know. I think just the sleep deprivation hit me and I just kind of like, not necessarily shut down, but I just like, did I like I'm just gonna relax? I just like did I'm like I'm just going to relax, I'm not going to worry about anything. And so I didn't get um to record a podcast last week and um, so I'm deciding to drop an extra one this week just to keep everyone up to date and, uh, just talk about um, the the journey to bring my daughter here, because it's kind of a unique story.

Speaker 1: 3:10

So, again, for those that subscribe to like my monthly newsletter, they got you know the heads up of you know announcing that my daughter was born and I did give like a sneak peek on stories on IG, I think like two weeks ago or something like that, but I didn't really say what it was, you know, and so maybe some people were wondering like what, who's this baby and stuff. But, um, one of the things was that, yeah, I didn't like say that I was pregnant or anything like that, and that's because, um, I had my daughter through surrogacy and I want to talk about it, one to kind of like spread awareness, because not a lot of people know, you know, infertility struggles, you know it's not really talked about, but on top of that, like, going the surrogate route is pretty kind of taboo and you know, I was able to afford that because of my real estate investing um, that I've been doing through these years and, um, the that's one of the reasons that I've had to pull back with, you know, my plans of buying more duplexes this the last year actually, and I'm hoping I could get back on track for this year Um, but I want to talk about it. So I had known that I would have to do IVF since I was like 20 years, 23 years old, and so I had already, uh, had that mentality that if I ever wanted to have kids, then I would have to do the IVF route. But then, you know, when my husband and I got together and then we were going to go that route, that in itself was expensive, and even though the military made it more affordable, it still was a bunch of money. I think I did two cycles and ended up being like almost $30,000. Um, but I was able to do that because, you know, I had saved up money and, um, uh, I had the cash flow and stuff to help me out, and so, um, we did that, but unfortunately, you know, it came out that I couldn't carry, and so, um, our option was to go the surrogate route and with uh, gestational surrogacy it, you know, for those that don't know, it is, you know, me and my husband's, you know embryo. We created it, it's our, uh, biologically ours, and just, we just pay somebody to, you know, carry her to term and then we um end up, she gives birth and then she comes home with us. So, um, she was born on the 21st of March.

Speaker 1: 6:02

Again, for those that have subscribed to my monthly newsletter, you know I announced this and I talked about a little bit about, um, how I brought my daughter into this world was through surrogacy. So I um hired a surrogate to carry my daughter and, um, it's a very unique journey. It was, um, um a stressful journey. It was a long journey and a very expensive journey and, um, I want to talk about it one because I did have, like, you know, some people reach out and, uh, didn't realize that this was a thing and you know, um, I just want to bring awareness to it a little bit, because it's a very taboo way to, you know, have a child.

Speaker 1: 6:50

And, on top of that, I would not have been able to afford to do this without real estate investing and you know I talk about it all the time to invest in real estate and stuff and all the benefits real estate and stuff and all the benefits, um, but, uh, these are some of the things that you can start to be able to afford to uh help you accomplish, um, your goals and dreams. Uh, I know like a few, I think like a month ago or a few months ago actually, cause I bought it last year. I talked about, you know how real estate investing helped me, you know, be able to buy land and I'm going to use that to be able to build my you know uh, final home where I'm going to live forever and retire and, just, you know, live there. And you know I'm able to do all these things through real estate investing. And this is just another thing that I was able to accomplish with it.

Speaker 1: 7:53

And you know, surrogacy is very expensive. I'm going to tell you, you know, off the bat, because I like numbers and I don't like to, you know, hide stuff I want to be transparent about, you know, um, hide stuff I want to be transparent about, uh, you know, expenses and stuff like that, and so, uh, I haven't like sat down to like calculate everything, but, um, just the surrogacy itself is close to $150,000. Um, because there's a lot of expenses that come with it, and then, on top of that I had expenses for IVF for myself, which was another like $25,000. And so it's been a very expensive journey. But again, I was able to do this with real estate investing.

Speaker 1: 8:48

But before I get into that that, I want to talk a little bit of you know what surrogacy is in the way that I used it, because, again, it's very taboo and I was fortunate that you know my family, my, my parents, my sister, and then on my husband's sides, they were all very supportive. It was like no issues, um, because I know some people that have to go this route, like sometimes they have um families that are not as supportive and, um, I think I ran maybe into maybe one or two people um that were kind of like um not necessarily support, that they were unsupportive, it was just they were kind of like um it's a unique way that they uh thought that, like how can the surrogate give up, uh, their child, but with gestational um surrogacy, their child, but with gestational um surrogacy it's not her child, the, the baby? You know, my daughter is biologically mine and my husband's like we did two rounds of IVF. Uh, again, I think that ended up being like 20, 25 K I, I again I haven't sat down to do the full numbers one because I'm like doing it's, like I'm being a little bit avoidant, a little bit because I don't want to be like, oh my God, I spent this much. But I do remember it's close to like 25K for both rounds to create the embryos.

Speaker 1: 10:32

To create the embryos and then um the surrogate herself. Her comp was seventy thousand dollars because she is a. This was her third and final one, so she had already done two surrogacies before and so I'm paying for, like, the experience. She's proven that she's able to carry Um and uh. Just, you know, um, I went with a more experienced surrogate because I I just didn't want to um, wait and take the chance with a new uh surrogate, like a first time surrogate. Um, I'm willing, I'm, I'm with the mindset that I'm okay paying extra for experience and um, less hassle and um. To me that was worth it.

Speaker 1: 11:14

My surrogate was awesome, pretty easy uh journey, like I didn't have no issues Um the um when she was born, it was, it was awesome, it was a, it was a great journey, and so, um, her comp was $70,000. And then you have a package that goes along because the compensation is $70,000, but then they have, like this package of you know, you provide money for her medications and for maternity clothes, and then, uh, on top of that, if, for some reason, she's put on bedrest and and you have to make up her wages. And so I had to be prepared to cover all of that and um, again, I was able to do this because I was able to leverage number one, my house. So, um, this house that I'm in, which is one of the reasons on top of um, you know, just wanting to just not have the hassle of worrying about upkeeping, the maintenance of this house, and um being able to, because this house is taking a lot, a huge chunk of my uh, it's increasing my debt to income ratio. So if I want to build my house in um, in Texas, I have to get, you know, another loan, and this is going to hinder how much I can, you know, uh get to be able to buy the house that I want to buy, to build. And so I rather just give up this house, go rent for the rest of the year that I'm here, for the year and a half or in some change, I think, um that I'm still left here in California, uh and be able to get a loan to build the house, and so those are two of the reasons.

Speaker 1: 13:07

But also, I took a second mortgage uh on this uh house for um, uh, the equity that I have, and so I took out a hundred thousand dollars um on this house. And you know, um I knew I wasn't going to keep this house, which is why I made that decision to go ahead and pull that money up front and be able to use that money to help me accomplish this goal. But now it's time to just let this house go. So that way, I'm just evened out. I even out. I cancel all the debt of the house and the second loan that's on it. Cancel all the debt of the house and the second loan that's on it. And so that was one way that I was able to be able to afford um uh with the IVF cycles. I paid that about a year ago because of the cashflow and things that were coming up. I was able to um acquire that those funds with the cashflow from my rental properties and um that's why you know I am so passionate with uh real estate investing, especially rental properties. Um, flipping could have probably brought up the funds, but it's just uh, less of a hassle for me. I'm not there yet for flipping a house to raise those funds, but, um, through the cash flow I was able to be able to uh acquire the funds for things that would come up.

Speaker 1: 14:39

Because, you know, like she didn't get pregnant the first time, so then that was an extra cost, because each time that she goes to um get embryo implanted, that's a cost. And then other things. Like she had to go to the emergency room twice because we had like two scares which ended up just being nothing you know. But again, I didn't care. I was told her, like, if you are worried about anything, like your health also matters to me, like money is. Like, don't be worried that you don't want to um go to the emergency room because you don't want to uh have me spend extra money. Like I rather uh know that you're okay and then that the baby is okay, so, um, so that was two extra costs, cause she did two ER trips and then just other random stuff that came up that I didn't plan for. That Um, it went if and when I do decide to do another journey now I know to prepare for those costs and so, um, yeah, that's what I was able to do with this and how I was able to pay my surrogate journey, and so, yeah, I just wanted to come on here and kind of share that with y'all and wasn't trying to make this a long update.

Speaker 1: 16:00

But on top of that, I'm just kind of like doing a pullback month. I'm doing things in the background. I plan to do a webinar, uh. So, uh, if you're interested in that, it's going to be free, of course. Uh, I think I'm gonna do it around May time. But, um, if you are interested in that, go ahead and sign up for the, my email list, so that way you can, um, I'm gonna let my emailers subscribers sign up first, and um, and then I'll, I'll launch the, the webinar. But, um, make sure you sign up so that way you can be notified when that, uh, the sign up is open. And then, um, eventually, I have some other things that I have planned that I'm working on.

Speaker 1: 16:43

So, even though I'm not like in the forefront on Instagram and TikTok and all that stuff, there's a lot of stuff that I'm doing right now that I am just trying to survive. I'm reading a lot, I'm learning more about real estate investing. I'm really getting into the numbers aspect. I'm very analytical and so I got some books. If you're interested on what books? I'm very analytical and so, uh, I got some books. If you're interested on what books I'm reading on real estate investing, let me know I'll. I'll, uh, I'll tell you which ones I'm I'm reading at the moment, but two of them are very like, go into very depth of calculating, not just like the basics of like what I talk about. This one goes more into the long term of calculating things. So, um, that's what I've been doing with my time. Just, you know, building my knowledge.

Speaker 1: 17:36

Uh, I always an advocate for, you know, continuing your education, whether it's, you know, it doesn't have to be college, but reading and listening to podcasts, youtube have to be college, but reading and listening to podcasts, youtube, anything that you know expands your, your knowledge and build skills. Um, that's what I've been doing with my time. I have two books downstairs and with lots of notes that I'm going to use to. You know, um, help teach others. Um, although, you know, probably not to that level, cause it can get it really gets into the weeds, uh, but, yeah, other than that, that's pretty much it. Let you know, probably not to that level, because it can get it really gets into the weeds. But yeah, other than that, that's pretty much it. Let me know Again, reach out if you know this journey was something that you were curious about or maybe you're dealing with something similar.

Speaker 1: 18:20

I know I already have someone reach out to me that might be having to go through something similar, so I'm open about it. Just hit me up on email or DM me. But other than that, I will see y'all in the next episode. Bye, thank you so much for listening. Don't forget to like and share this episode so others can also find this podcast. Don't forget to follow me on all my social medias listed in the show notes below, where you can also find resources to help you in your financial journey. If you're interested in becoming a guest on the podcast, you can find that information in the show notes. Other than that, thank you so much for your support and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.