Lifting the Lid - A Funeral Podcast

38. Why Does A Funeral Director Wear Uniform?

G Seller Funeral Directors Season 1 Episode 38

In today's episode we meet with Simon Oakes, of Lyn Oakes, to discuss all things Funeral Director uniform and the reasons behind why we wear them. We explore the significance of uniforms within the funeral profession and delve into the specific details on a Funeral Director's uniform, and all the different ways these can be changed for various reasons. 

If you have any questions, here’s how to get in touch:
Instagram – @liftingthelidfuneralpodcast
Email – Liftingthelid@gseller.co.uk
Website – www.gseller.co.uk/podcast
Watch the episode on YouTube: Lifting The Lid - YouTube

Hi, I'm Andy Eeley, Senior Funeral Director for G. Seller Independent Funeral Directors, and we've been serving bereaved families since 1910. I'm sure you're all well aware there's lots of different myths, taboos, and misconceptions around what happens behind the scenes within the funeral profession. So we decided to put together this series of podcasts to answer those questions and hopefully dispel those myths. So please do like, share, and subscribe, and send those questions. Send them to liftingthelid@gseller. co. uk, and we will do our absolute best to answer them for you. It genuinely is our family caring for your family. Welcome to the latest episode of Lifting the Lid. If you're listening to this on Spotify or Apple, I highly recommend you flick across to our website or YouTube because we have something slightly different... we have a set, we have props. Today, I'm joined with Simon Oakes of Lyn Oakes, and we're talking about funeral uniform. Simon, welcome. Yeah. Hi, Andy. How are you? Yeah, good. Nice to meet you. And you. Thank you for coming. Or see you again, shall I say? Yeah. So, Simon, just a bit of background about yourself. Talk to me about Lyn Oakes, your role within Lyn Oakes. What is Lyn Oakes? Yeah, Lyn Oakes is a business we've been going for 40-odd years now, which my father started. My father started then with Taylor's. We do a lot of work in the hotel sector, which is a great actually great crossover for great ideas for the funeral business. But because we were originally Taylors, started in 1876. Wow, okay. We had strong connections with funeral trade, both my grandfather owned a funeral business, my ex-wife owned a funeral business, my son's a funeral director, and we actually owned a funeral directors at at one point as well. So we've had a long, strong connection with all of our very traditional tailoring products. And we've just been going for so long. We've got very, very old patterns. The item behind you is a double-breasted frock coat, and the rear of it, if you'd like to switch it round. I'll have a go. Yeah.. It's a riding style with a very, very long vent, which people used to put on horses. So if you turn it back again. And it's double-breasted frock coat. So that's a Victorian style coat, which was really the forerunner of when people started doing funerals, and it first became a commercial business in the 19th century. So that sort of started it all off. And we still do those today, actually. And I love doing those. I have to say they're my favourite. To me, they're a proper funeral director's coat. Absolutely. As worn by G. Seller Co. Yes, it is. Absolutely. You know we're a single-breasted version, but certainly Joseph's father, David, and his father before him, who my father was friendly with and knew and did work for, wore that coat, which as I said, it's a Victorian style frock coat. That's what it's known as. Fantastic with a double-breasted lapel, set in facings, and I love them. I still think they look great. You see a guy well dressed in those, they look absolutely amazing. You can wear them as well with a wing collar if you wish, but just in a good traditional with a collar and tie, it looks as good as anything, especially with the G. Seller colours. Oh, yeah. That's absolutely amazing. well, we'll come on to that. Absolutely. Perfect. You touched there on Victorian. I mean, there must be a historical development. Any foundations? Where does this come from? Why do we wear the uniform that we wear? Well, obviously, black is synonymous with death and mourning, I think more than death. And just that little bit of hint of burgundy, which you wear, is a nice corporate twist. But it came around, really, as I say, when it first became commercial in the Victorian times. And then obviously, there was a thrust through the Edwardion era with top hats like you wear and things like Petersham Trails off the back. And some people still wear that. I was down in Bridport and Dorset yesterday in Yovale in Somerset. And they were there, the guys, where they still wear the Victorian trails off the back of their hat. So there are still very much vestiges of the Victorian era about the funeral trade. There have been numerous attempts to try and modernize it, but I think it almost goes hand in hand with a coffin shape, which is a Victorian design and so on and so forth. So there's still a very much of Victorian tradition about the funeral industry, generally. Spot on. We've got all the old patterns that go back, donkey's years, to make those garments, and not many people do. So we're very, very much specialists in funeral tradition. From Lyn Oakes perspective. So the significance of wearing a uniform within the funeral setting, where does that come from? I think just with the commercialization of the business, really. But just trying to... People try to portray their own image like you have as a company. Joseph's developed from just the very traditional, which was a black jacket or mourning coat, as Sellers used to wear. They still do wear it. You still wear a mourning coat now, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, for the guys and the girls as well. Then it developed on from that mourning dress. The whole industry is based around that, really. That's really interesting. We keep touching on our uniform, the G. Seller uniform. How much input would a funeral director have into, say, the design, the look and feel of their uniform? Well, every firm is different, and every firm wants to make itself different and have its own image. Some people have gone really over the top and gone to green and blue and things like that. But you don't need to do that. I think black is very uncontroversial in the sense that it's very traditional and synonymous with mourning. So we still do mostly black, quite a bit of grey, but mostly a little bit of blue, a little bit of green, as I say, where people have a bit of variation. And Joseph's design, really, the G. Seller design has been burgundy, which has always been traditional with the business. Absolutely. And burgundy works very well with black, so it's a good mix. It adds a bit of colour, but nothing too over the top, just a bit of sedate, a bit of respect, and it just keeps that respect at the forefront of the business. So I think it's really important. The amount of uniform that we actually have, and there is a little showreel of me changing incredibly quickly into all the different elements and different uniforms that I have for the different roles that I perform. We've got some samples of those here. So just talking about making it personal, making it bespoke, I'm going to point out, I'm actually going to come and grab... This one. So this is the Seller's check. So this design is specifically woven for us, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely. We weave this fabric If you can see on the camera there, there's a burgundy cross-check in that. That's a very, very traditional fabric known as a Prince of Wales check because it was worn by the Prince of Wales in the 19th century. And And he was a very dapper dresser. And even the King now, who was obviously previously until very recently the Prince of Wales, he wore that Prince of Wales check a lot. You see him in a summer setting. He often wears his grey. You just look at it and then you can see the hidden square in it. It's a Prince of Wales check. And Joseph was very keen to develop the uniform that David had introduced, and he wanted to bring a traditional style. And it's nice because it's a real traditional twist of keeping that, but instead of blue, having the burgundy Seller's corporate colour in there, which is really good. And we love doing that. And I think from speaking to your staff and Joseph and the family, they're very happy to have that and we're very pleased with it, I think. So we've got lots of swatches here as well, different styles, pinstripes, different patterns. I think in there somewhere, there's this more traditional. Yeah, that was a traditional stripe, which is still very widely worn. And we actually do that now with Burgundy as well. Oh, really? In it, actually. Yeah, but yours is different. That's unique to G. Seller Co, and no one else is going to have that. Because we've said that to Joseph that we wouldn't sell that to anybody else. There we go. It makes you totally unique. Totally unique. The different samples of uniform that we've got there, we've broken it down into different types. There's for cremated remains, an overcoat. There's call out attire, so a traditional mourning suit. Then we've got the ceremonial, so the funeral bearers that we have on a service, they wear a different uniform to the person conducting the funeral. But it all looks the same. It all works together. The burgundy velvet just adds a little bit of touch as it keeps keeping the burgundy theme that goes through with your tie, with your handkerchief, with the square. Yeah, this is the office attire that I have here. In society, the expectation around funeral directors wearing a uniform, what are your thoughts? Is there a high expectation? It's just professionalism, isn't it? As I said, we do blue, we do green, we do other bits and pieces, grey, quite a bit. But as long as you have a corporate look that ties in your corporate colour and represents what you do, which is nice to keep the black because the black, as I say, just keeps that element of morning in. And also as well, as people are dressing down in society a bit more, I think just that colour in the tie on the day , mark of respect to the deceased, to the family is a good thing. And it just keeps it sombre. You don't want too sombre, but it just keeps it respectful. Do you think this will evolve? What does the future look like? Do you think it'll change? Well, look, people have tried to change it, going to lighter greys to blue, I suppose, to a certain extent. But... You can change it, but how far is respectful? If you stop to grey, grey is a colour of somberness, of respect. Same with black. It's just there and then. I personally still think that you should keep that level. It distinguishes you from the mourners. Okay, mourners these days, they'll come in T-shirts, they'll come in... Most of them still wear a black T-shirt, football shirts, all sorts of stuff, pinks and greys and greens and whatever. But I I still think myself that that bit of respect on the day, just for the ceremonial purposes, you can be as dressed down as you wish on a day-to-day basis. Some firms I go to now wear polo shirts, others wear opera neck shirts, collar. The girls, obviously, it's more difficult to have neck attire, but you've got to keep a semblance of respectability, I think, about it, because the funeral is a respectful thing. You respect someone, even if you're celebrating mum or celebrating dad or your uncle or whatever. It should still be that element of respect there. Absolutely. From a practical element, I quite often get family members say to me, aren't you hot? Because obviously there's a lot of layers there. From your perspective, the design of these uniforms, is that a factor that's taken into the equation? Well, you can go lightweight to keep the heat down. So you've got options? Okay. Yeah. I think now when people certainly in the collection of the deceased or removal aspect, they tend not to wear jackets and trousers and things as much. But I still think people wear polo shirts and things like that. If you see someone in a pair of cargo pants removing your dad, it just becomes an element of your disposal, then, doesn't it? There's no respect there. It is nice when people turn up and they're nicely dressed to collect your mum in a very respectful attire while your father - you know I've recently lost my mother, and the funeral a director turned up in, in proper attire, collar and tie. Absolutely. Just looked after that person properly, show the respect to the deceased, to the family, to the person. And I still think that's a really important element. I think just to go all dressed down, all the rest of them is actually, is that what you really want? Respecting actually says to me that G. Seller Co is a decent, respectful company when they turn up and they're wearing proper attire. Absolutely. So I can assure you we've got our attire, proper mourning wear. It's about the respectful piece. Absolutely. Treat everyone as though they should be treated. Absolutely. Quite right. Respect is the word.

Keyword:

respect. We'd like to just pause and take a moment to mention our partner for this podcast, Obitus. Obitus take a customer-first approach and are dedicated to giving families more ways to say goodbye. By working closely with venues and funeral directors like myself across the UK, Obitus ensures that the funeral service is personalised and reflects the life lived, from high-quality music and on-screen tributes to seamless streaming and keepsakes to cherish forever. Obitus adds a personal touch, giving families the freedom to honour their loved ones in their own unique way. You can find out more at www. obitus. com/ltl. So is there anything else you want to show us here? So we got the top hat, we've got gloves, we've got all sorts of different elements of the uniform. You've got a bit of an interesting element with it. Obviously, people tend to wear, have either canes or gloves because it gives you something to do if you're paging, gives you something to do with your hand. Absolutely agree. A critical point. Obviously, they're going to be worn when it's a bit of a filthy day, which hopefully no one has for for the beloved's funeral. And then with the top hat, we added a burgundy band and a burgundy bow just to tie in the corporate colours, make you just a little bit different. And the top hat, again, that's very much a Victorian thing, but it also gives the funeral director something, a form of focus. You can hold it, you can wear it, you can... Obviously, for the girls, for the lady FDs, that you've got two or three in the business, haven't you? So they can wear their hat at the same time and still show that respect of a woman with a hat in Church, which is very nice to see. They obviously don't take theirs off where you would take yours off. Gentlemen would, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. We don't actually wear them as such, but what you're saying about, I used to use a cane I use it as a bit of a comfort blanket, really. It puts me into the mindset that I'm looking after a family, I'm conducting. So I think it's a really important piece. Well, and also as well, of course, it says to the person around, if you're wearing... Who's the funeral director? It's the guy over there with the top hat. With the top hat. Yeah, absolutely. And particularly with the girls because it's more difficult with the girls, actually, because when they're wearing their uniforms, girls wear a lot more black in day to day society. As a fashion item, they often wear - girls often wear black. So making that lady FD different for the mourner is often different. The top hat often does that. So people can look to the lady, Oh, she's the lady in the top hat. Yeah, that's the person. Absolutely. Leading proceedings, basically. Yeah, absolutely. Brilliant. Back to the table. So we got lots of swatches, lots of bits. The manufacturing process. What is the manufacturing process? Is it an off-the-shelf item? Is it completely bespoke? Who makes them? Well, certainly for yourself, it's bespoke. Absolutely. Everything's made for G Seller Co. And we make it all in the UK, English fabrics as much as we possibly can, a little bit in Portugal, but mostly in Europe, mostly in Britain, should I say. All British fabrics. British fabrics are the best. Still. The Italian fabrics are nice and fine, great for lightweight, but we're not like that. Just look at the shocking weather we've had recently. You need something that's going to look - if you're on a service and you're in a service for two or three hours, which can easily happen at times, and from start to finish, you need to be looking good when you're getting out of the vehicles or showing people around the cemetery or doing whatever you're doing as much as you do. So weight is important. The crisp resist ability is important. So the manufacturing starts, really, when Joseph would say to me, Simon, let's do something a bit different, like your Prince of Wales check trousers in particular. So then we have the design stage. We have the pattern cutting stage. Is that those there? These are patterns here. I bought some patterns to cut, actually. Those are size 46 waist for a big boy like me. Okay, a bit too big for me. Yeah, absolutely. And we cut the trouser to a trouser pattern believe it or not. Okay. And there's two halves of that, as you can imagine, and then a centre part. Okay. If you took this one, thank you. And then manufacture, we've got 28 members of staff currently. It changes a little bit depending on the season. Yeah. And we can fully make, and we do fully make, the items from start to finish. I can do that myself, but I've done it for years and the hands are getting a bit of.... a bit of arthritis in there these days. We make them all fully bespoke for yourself. So you have everything made to your design, your specification. And we do that right the way through the process. Team fully trained to do this? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. A lot of experience, no doubt. Yeah, absolutely. We've got three other guys on the road. We have an agent in Ireland. So we go all over the British Isles in Scandinavia, Australia as well, North America, the Caribbean. So we go all over the place, but we don't often fly to the Caribbean, which is a bit of a... Yeah, a bit of a shame. Yeah, Barbados. Sadly, we send them over there. But, yeah, no, everything's made, and the British make, really important. Because we still got the best tailors, we still know what we're doing. It's not lightweight. As I said to you earlier on, that's really, really important element. And then all of the overcoating fabrics are made to withstand our weather. Because it's very unusual, actually, our business, or the funeral business, in what you do in the sense that unlike most people, most people who are working wear corporate wear, work wear, when they're doing a job, maybe digging a hole or working a camera or something, and they want to look - They have an image. Or in a hotel. But you're actually wearing a suit to work in, which is very, very unusual. Not many people actually work in their suit these days. I wear a suit to try and look pretty. Do my best. It doesn't always work. I'm not commenting. No comment. But most people, like yourself, you're actually physically working in it. When you're doing it, you're lifting, you're shouldering, you're bearing, you're doing all certain elements, you're looking after people, you're actually working in your suit. Most people don't work in a suit. You might look pretty in it, go on the front desk of a hotel or a porter in a hotel, something like that. But you're actually physically working in it. That's quite unusual. So you have to keep that in mind. So our patterns that you use are cut to allow that, to give you a- Give me the freedom. Absolutely. To give you the... So when you're shouldering, you're actually moving into an unusual position. So our allowances on our shoulders, on our jackets, are more than you would normally have. It's properly considered for-Absolutely. They're properly considered for the funeral business and things like, which is where we're unique and we understand the patterns. When you've got people with their overcoats, particularly, an overcoat is going to go over the top because it's got to keep you wet. It's got to keep you dry. It's got to keep you warm at a critical point in a service. When you're going out to do a burial, you need to be kept dry and in a decent shape. So all those things are- and it has the element of you're actually working it. You're lifting, you're shouldering, you're bearing, you're moving. So all that has to be taken into consideration when we're doing it. So you're not just looking pretty. So you're not- you don't want anything too tight and too skinny. You need to be able to work in what you're doing. So our patterns allow for that. Brilliant. Simon, thank you. I have to admit, with all these swatches that you bought, I didn't realise there were so many options. So that's-Thousands of options, really. That's just a little variation of the Prince of Wales. There's two different ones alone there, which you have in your trousers. It's totally and utterly different. The whole trade is from start to finish. It is a process, and it can take some time. Simon, thank you. Okay. Thank you for your time. Thank you for the journey. Nice to meet you. Yes, thank you as well. I hope you enjoyed that with all the props. Please do like, share, subscribe. If you've got any questions, send them to liftingthelid@gseller. co. uk, and we'll see you next time.

People on this episode