Embracing Emotional Rest

Embark on a transformative journey with me, Sally Burlington, as we uncover the unsung hero in our quest for well-being: rest. This episode of the Create Harmony podcast, inspired by Dr. Sondra Dalton Smith's illuminating work, promises to deepen your understanding of emotional rest and its crucial role in balancing our lives. Prepare to  discover the power of setting boundaries to honor our need for tranquillity. Through the words of Kate Bowler, Donna Ashworth, and Stephen Charleston, we offer a serene moment for reflection, inviting you to embrace a life marked by peace and internal fulfillment.

Join me next time for another peaceful conversation, as we continue to seek balance and joy on the path to rested living.

To learn more, go to mycreateharmony.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Welcome back to the Create Harmony podcast. This is a place where we refresh your life, we raise your well-being and refocus you on peace and joy, and the way we do that is by making small changes each day to move us closer to those things, and we strive to incorporate gratitude into everything we do. So I am Sally Burlington, I'm your host, and this is episode 64. So over the last few weeks, we've been having a discussion about how to be effective at rest, and this is one of those things that we all want. Everybody wants rest in their lives, and we believe that we need to make it a priority. However, we talked a few weeks ago about how productivity is sometimes the superhero of every story. We have lots and lots of tools and resources to know how to be more productive. We've got the productivity journal and the app and the list making and the calendar all those things that come together to help us know how to get stuff done, but often we leave rest out of the equation altogether. It's like an elusive character in our story that we find hard to move near. We don't feel comfortable talking about the ways that we rest as much as we feel comfortable talking about the ways that we are productive. So for review that we've already covered this in some of our earlier discussions about rest there are seven different types of rest, and those were developed by Dr Sondra Dalton Smith. She's the person who divides these categories and helped us understand them more clearly, helped us separate rest out into different parts. So those different types are physical, mental, emotional, social, creative, sensory and spiritual. So as we continue this discussion, we're attempting to crack the code of rest and figure out how to move away from burnout so that we can find lives filled with joy and contentment, and rest is part of that process. So it is our hope that considering these types of rest will help us know where we're not resting or how we're not resting and how to change that.

Speaker 1: 2:25

Now you may find that you're doing really well on some of these types. You may already have some of these things down. You might be great at emotional resting, really good with your boundaries, or you may be wonderful at social rest or physical rest. If that's the case, just take a moment and celebrate yourself for getting something right. But on the opposite end, you may also find that you there's more than one of these categories that you need in your life right now. The reason that you keep feeling very, very exhausted and burnt out is because you've rested in one way but not some of the other ways. You have multiple categories that need more attention. Maybe you're approaching rest like this You're filling up the tank with a quarter of a tank full and then you're trying to. Instead of having a whole full tank, you've only got a quarter of a tank of gas and you keep having to come back again feeling exhausted. So you may find several of these definitions, think, yes, I need more of that in my schedule, and realizing what you need is a great first step in getting it.

Speaker 1: 3:30

So last week we covered mental rest and this week we're going to address emotional rest. So the definition of emotional rest is stepping away from people pleasing and carrying and catering to the emotional needs of those around us. So emotional rest really is most effective. The only way to really get emotional rest is to learn to set clear and strong boundaries. We set those boundaries and get emotional rest by stepping away from our caretaking roles. That doesn't mean we can't be caretakers. It just means that sometimes we have to step out of those roles and give ourselves a moment to breathe. This means that we have to spend some time considering what our own wants and needs are and finding ways to meet them. So let me repeat that To rest emotionally, you will need to spend time considering what your individual wants and your individual needs are and find ways to meet them.

Speaker 1: 4:33

Also, in each of our conversations about rest, we are sharing what I've called some rest reflections to inspire you along the road, and perhaps you can meet one of your needs right here. As we transition into our rest reflections, I invite you to let these readings and reflections give you space to process your life. Let my voice be a source of peace in your day. So today we have four rest reflections. They are from Kate Bowler in her book the Lives we Actually have. From Donna Ashworth in her book Wild Hope. From Stephen Charleston in his book Spirit Wheel. And from Morgan Harper Nichols in her book You're Only Just Beginning.

Speaker 1: 5:23

So our first reflection today is from Kate Bowler, and she's the host of a popular podcast Everything Happens. She's written several best-selling books, and the one we're going to look at today, the reflection we're going to look at today, is called For when you Feel Stretched Too Thin, and it Goes Like this I am stretched so thin that every task looms large. At first I thought I was still falling, but no, I've hit bottom. I have no more to give yet so much more to do. My resolve has dwindled and my hope is chased away with every anxious thought. Will this ever let up? Will I ever get a break? Will there ever be enough?

Speaker 1: 6:09

Oh God, show me again how this works, how you bring dry bones to life. God, have mercy, christ. Have mercy, spirit. Have mercy. Blessed are we, the weary and weak and sore, with only the nearest umber left burning, but who still whisper with all the voice we can muster. Breathe on me, oh God. Breathe life into my tired body, my heavy limbs, bring light to the dark corners of my mind, bring comfort into my sad heart and kindle my awareness of who I was made to be and of what is mine to do. Blessed are we who turn our gaze to seek the one whose eyes meet ours, the one who knows us, the one whose nail-pierced hands formed ours Like newborns, whose bleary sight focuses to find adoring eyes beaming down, delighting and filling, bearing and multiplying. Blessed are we who discover we are loved and held in arms that are strong enough to hold that which we cannot Now.

Speaker 1: 7:30

Our next reflection is from Donna Ashworth in her book Wild Hope. This book is filled with the most beautiful poems, and the one we will hear today is called Don't Sleep With Worry. And it goes like this Do not sleep with worry, worry is no good in bed. He will interrupt your slumber, spinning dramas like a web. He will plant seeds in your garden. They will strangle all you've grown, pulling roots up from your flower heads to make room there for his own. He will make your precious memories and paint them murky gray. He will meet your inner child and send her cowering on her way. Do not let him in your bed, love. Crack the window, shoe him out. Throw his friends out there to join him. Fear, perfection and self-doubt. Now quickly close the window. Come back and snuggle down and check that only good thoughts are allowed to stick around. Let hope and joy come by. They are soothing, wise and true. Add acceptance to the mix. Then let peace wash over you. Do not sleep with worry. Worry is no good in bed. You have stress enough in life to let that monster in your head.

Speaker 1: 8:57

Now we will turn to hear from Stephen Charleston. Let me tell you a little bit about Stephen first, he is a member of the Choctaw Nation and served as an Episcopal Bishop in Alaska. He's written over a dozen books, but this one, the one we're going to use, is called Spirit Wheel and it's filled with lovely poetry. So our rest reflection from Spirit Wheel is called Start Feeling, and it goes like this Stop thinking, start feeling. If you are wrestling with a problem and it is winning, if you are weighing the evidence until you have broken the scale, if you have analyzed the analysis you just analyzed, then this playful word may be of use Stop thinking, start feeling. There is a lovely presence that wants to help If you will trust the intuition given to you as a child. Feel the nearness of God, feel God's strength surrounding you, feel God's healing power. Touch you Feel so you may think more clearly. And finally, we'll close with this offering from Morgan Harper Nichols. Morgan is an artist and a poet who is also learning how to process autism in her life, and she has written several books.

Speaker 1: 10:25

The one we're using is you Are Only Just Beginning, and it goes like this you might not know how to feel about the thorns that have grown on the stems of your story. You might not know how to speak firmly about the boundaries you have learned to set. But you are learning. It does not make you weak to set limits in your life. In fact, it makes you wise. That concludes our rest reflections for today and our conversation about emotional rest. So hopefully sharing all of these wisdom readings will help you just contemplate rest in your day and find ways, new ways to access it, to recognize where you need to add things and where you need to subtract. We have more wisdom from some different writers next week as we take a look at another form of rest. So hopefully you'll come back then and contemplate with rest with us further and also hope you'll come back next week to learn more tools about how to make rest possible in your life. Until next time, peace.