Calling all women who've felt the weight of unspoken words straining their relationships! In this emotionally charged episode, we dive into the transformative impact of voicing your emotions in relationships.
Silence can be a relentless adversary, suffocating the very essence of connection. Join me as we unravel the profound truth that withholding your emotions can wound relationships deeply. We explore the complexities of staying quiet, the knots it ties in your heart, and the toll it takes on the love you hold dear.
It's time to shatter the barriers of silence and let your truth set your relationships free.
The program is HERE! The- Be Your Own Muse Program is here to help you become your own source of inspiration. If you are feeling lost, uninspired, overwhelmed with information and constantly searching for things that make you feel good then this course is for you! Through this program, I guide participants on a profound exploration of self- discovery, helping them remove limiting beliefs, rewire negative patterns, and magnetize their dreams into reality.
What’s included:
5 video Modules
BONUS EFT (emotional freedom technique)
Worksheets to fill out and journal with
Lifetime access to evolving course
Are you ready to become your own source of
If you enjoyed this episode Hit the subscribe button for updates, and if you love this podcast, please leave a review. Your feedback helps other women like you discover and benefit from it.
Unlock your true potential with our FREE Rediscover Worksheet tool! This simple tool will guide your self-discovery journey, helping you uncover your authentic self and regain personal power. Download now and start your transformation today!- https://mailchi.mp/mariafuentes/rediscover-yourself-the-muse
For personalized 1:1 coaching, visit Maria’s website at mariafuentes.net or email her at info@mariafuentes.net for guidance.- https://mariafuentes.net/
Calling all women who've felt the weight of unspoken words straining their relationships! In this emotionally charged episode, we dive into the transformative impact of voicing your emotions in relationships.
Silence can be a relentless adversary, suffocating the very essence of connection. Join me as we unravel the profound truth that withholding your emotions can wound relationships deeply. We explore the complexities of staying quiet, the knots it ties in your heart, and the toll it takes on the love you hold dear.
It's time to shatter the barriers of silence and let your truth set your relationships free.
The program is HERE! The- Be Your Own Muse Program is here to help you become your own source of inspiration. If you are feeling lost, uninspired, overwhelmed with information and constantly searching for things that make you feel good then this course is for you! Through this program, I guide participants on a profound exploration of self- discovery, helping them remove limiting beliefs, rewire negative patterns, and magnetize their dreams into reality.
What’s included:
5 video Modules
BONUS EFT (emotional freedom technique)
Worksheets to fill out and journal with
Lifetime access to evolving course
Are you ready to become your own source of
If you enjoyed this episode Hit the subscribe button for updates, and if you love this podcast, please leave a review. Your feedback helps other women like you discover and benefit from it.
Unlock your true potential with our FREE Rediscover Worksheet tool! This simple tool will guide your self-discovery journey, helping you uncover your authentic self and regain personal power. Download now and start your transformation today!- https://mailchi.mp/mariafuentes/rediscover-yourself-the-muse
For personalized 1:1 coaching, visit Maria’s website at mariafuentes.net or email her at info@mariafuentes.net for guidance.- https://mariafuentes.net/
We can try from a place of, I need you to validate me and I need you to listen to me. And this needs to be the most important thing in your life. Or from a place of power where you're grounded in your self-worth and yourself validated, Hey guys, welcome to this week's episode. I am excited to be sitting here and talking about this because it's something that's been really weighing heavy in my own life and realizing these patterns that I've had in the past and that I see other people having, and it really truly hurts relationships. And I cannot wait to get into it, but first, how are we? So close to Christmas, by the time you guys are listening to this, I think will be like a week away from Christmas. And I can not believe that we're already at the end of this year. And. Next year's already here. I'll be doing some traveling. If you don't know, I have a long distance relationship with TJ and I go back and forth and he comes here on the weekends. Every so often, and it's beautiful, but it's also hectic because I feel like I'm here and I'm there and I'm not really grounded sometimes or like stapled and just one place. It's like. It's a whole thing for me now, but I've, I'm learning to balance and find my own stability in it. And it's funny because. This isn't about the topic, but it kind of does relate because when you, we asked for more. More will come. And I envisioned, oh my gosh, are you kidding me? I envisioned manifested. That only. That I manifest TJ years ago, but I manifest this life of like travel and adventure and excitement and years ago as well. And when you ask for something, you just never know what it's going to come in and might all come at once. And you will have some emotions to process because of that. And you will have to figure out what works for you and what doesn't work for you when those moments are happening and speaking your truth and telling people around you, how you're feeling and being open and being vulnerable. And so as we get into this week's episode, I am naming it. This is the one thing that's hurting your relationships because I've realized. Especially as women that we don't really know how to hold our power. We either know how to stay quiet because we don't want to offend somebody. We are scared of how they're going to react. We are fearful that if we're vulnerable and open, that we're going to be shunned or criticized or not acknowledged or not loved properly. And so we play small and we stay small and we don't speak our truth. Until. We decided to explode until we've had enough until we're angry until we're pissed off until somebody crossed a boundary that we'd never really even told them that was there. And until there's some big explosion of some sort. And the last couple of years, I've read, really honing in and working with relationship therapist. And in my past relationship is really finding that middle ground and speaking your truth. So the one thing that's hurting your relationship is that you're not speaking your truth. You're not speaking or emotions. You're not being open and you're not being vulnerable. And you might be listening to this and being like, well, I've tried. I'm going to challenge you here a bit on this episode, because. We can try from a place of, I need you to validate me and I need you to listen to me. And this needs to be the most important thing in your life. Or from a place of power where you're grounded in your self-worth and yourself validated, and you just need someone to. Speak, and you just want to be heard in a vulnerable way. You just want somebody to be receptive and open. And so the reason this hurts relationships is because we can't have expectations to be treated a certain way for that person to act a certain way for things to be a certain way, unless we. Talk about it unless we're open and we're vulnerable. And the reason I met, I mentioned my long distance relationship with TJ is because. If. If there's anything that's been really. Challenging me in my own self recently has been to be open and vulnerable this month. For whatever reason, my period, my cycle has been. A whirlwind of emotions and. I'm pretty good at acknowledging my emotions and voicing them. Like I'm getting better at it every single day and letting TJ know like, Hey, this is my emotional state today. Like when things aren't. Like they normally are for me. So I can voice that just fine. For the most part. But just as recently, I had to let him know that I felt extra needy, but I felt extra needy like two, three days ago and I kind of voiced it. I kind of like swept it under the rug. And before I even come to him with anything, I really sit with it first. And in the past, I sat with it for too long. And like I said, I just never even said anything or I held it in until it became resentment. And so I'm finding this balance of when it is. The right time to say something because when you're in an emotional state, You don't want to say something right away because you have to process and analyze the emotion. And so I've sat with it. And then I had, I came to this crossroads, where I was like, well, after practice, what I preach, he's opened this beautiful doors for me, where he's like, please let me know when you're feeling needy. When you need more from me. Let me know, because I want to give that to you. I want to be that space for you. He's a voice as many times. So he's not only opened the door. I know this, I teach this. This is. What I should be good at. But I'm telling you the story mostly. So you know that when it's us, when it's our own lives, it's so much harder because emotions creates, they create blind spots for us. So. I came to this crossroads and I was like, okay, well I feel extra needy. And that day, I think that morning he was probably just busy or something. I don't know. I just didn't feel. This like connection to him. And I sat with it and I asked myself, what are my emotions true? Is he being short, dismissive, not wanting to connect with me? No, that's not. What's happening. He's being how he is every morning. He's very consistent. And for somebody like me, I need consistency. So I analyzed his behavior versus my emotion. And I was like, well, There's nothing he's doing, that's different. So where's this emotion coming from and how can I give what I need to myself first? And I've realized in that, that if I can fill out my own cup. So if I'm feeling, let's say extra needy, I that means I need extra love. I need extra attention. So how can I give myself extra love and extra attention at that moment? I was like, well, I'm working out. Let me go for a walk. Let me not jump into work or doing something that I feel like I have to do. Let me just give my gift to myself first. And so I did that and right away, I started getting more clarity because I'm moving my body. I'm not letting that emotion, just sit there. I'm looking for answers. I'm not. Reacting to the emotion. I'm not doing staying. I'm not. You know, Withdrawing love from him because I felt like there's a misconnection now. So I'm going to be dismissive for short so that I can get that attention. You know, we go. Around and crazy like circles to get the love and validation we need. Instead of just being clear and so. I decided I was like, well, I'm going to just tell him. After I give, so I give to myself and then I was like, well, I'm just going to just let him know. I'm feeling extra needy and I don't know why, and just let him know where I'm at and there's nothing that he's done that could be better or that I need him to do in specific, but I'm just feeling needy. And so I did that. I sent him a text message and I knew he was working and stuff, and I threw my phone on the bed. And I throw my phone on the bed because I was like, I had threw it out there with no expectation. I know him, I know his heart. So I knew that there were, that was safe and it was going to be fine, but I had no expectations for him to give me or do anything. For any reason, because I don't even know what I need. So there was no expectation. And I just threw my phone and I laughed when I got, I walked to the bathroom and I started like plucking my eyebrows to get like my mind off things. And I realized that I did this. When I first got on Instagram years ago and started speaking on stories, the first video ever recorded, I threw my phone on the couch and I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't even want to look at it. And that's what it is. I, I, there was a moment in that crossroads for me was this is fear. This is an opportunity of growth. This is an opportunity for you to do things differently for you to be open for you, to be vulnerable for you to practice what you preach for you to. Be so connected to your man on deeper level that you're allowing him to feel your heart. And I realized in the bathroom. As I'm plucking my eyebrows that. I'm glad that I went over that bridge that I walked over that bridge and that I didn't let fear stop me because there was some fear in the back of my mind, my subconscious, just like your subconscious works. All the same fear was, well he's, he's not going to care. He's probably busy. He's probably gonna roll his eyes and be like, oh my God, she's an idiot. Again. Of course it's probably her period, all the things that I've heard, not only from past partners, but also myself believes in the past, my, my negative, my limiting self beliefs of. I'm not worthy of sharing my emotions. I'm not worthy of being heard. I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy. And so. I really want you to analyze this. Isn't a romantic relationship, right? But I want you to really analyze where in other relationships are you not speaking your truth? Are you not asking for what you need? Are you not voicing your feelings and your emotions? In a place of groundedness. This could have gone another way. And I'll tell you how it's got in past relationships. I don't say anything. I hold it in. Two three days from now he does something because he's busy and it's short and now I blow up and I'm like, well, you just don't care. Like. You don't even care to be around me or I, you know, then a month from now I tell him, you know what? You don't even care. You don't even take me out to dinner anymore. You don't even care about me. Like. You don't find me attractive. Like now I've created this whole story. Where it didn't have to be created where that story could have ended. Didn't even have to start. It could have just been. I'm feeling this emotion. What does it mean is a true. How can I ground myself? How can I give to myself first? And then how can I bring that up to my partner? My friend, my mom, my sister, whoever from a place of groundedness and stability versus reactivity explosion. I needing, needing to be validated, needing to be loved because I can give that to myself. And because I need that from somebody there's way different energy behind. I, this is how I feel. I'm being open and vulnerable. I'm not sure what it really means. I just wanted to share this with you versus. I need you to listen to me. And I cannot believe that you don't care about me. And I cannot believe that you didn't call me when you said you were going to call me and I'm so pissed off now, and or I'm going to withdraw affection and attention from you so that you know what it feels, and then you'll be chasing me. And then you're going to give me the attention that I want. We don't have to go to those extremes to get that connection and that vulnerability. But it is going to require for you. To sit with that uncomfortable emotion and to not feel less than because you feel that because I did find myself judging myself, I've judged myself in the past for feeling intense emotions or for feeling sad or for feeling needy or for feeling whatever it is that I was feeling. You can judge the emotions, the emotion searches they're, they're there to help us learn. And the more we fight them, the more we're going to sucker. And it's like, it's a big wave of emotions or waves. There's ups, there's downs. There's come waves. There's very violent waves. There's huge waves. But the more we fight and swim against them, the more we're going to feel suffocated and like we're drowning in them. And so when we grasp gasp for air and it's in that anxious, I just need, I need, I need, I need, I need, I need that other, person's going to feel it. And not only energetically, but emotionally. And so I urged you to really sit with your emotion, ask yourself what it means at first, ask yourself if it's true, because like I said, we will create stories and we'll make up things. Ask yourself. If it's true, if you want to go even deeper, ask yourself, where is this coming from? Because most of our. Self beliefs come from the past. It comes from a way that we were treated in the past by our caregivers, by our partners, by our sisters, by our brothers. Whoever it is. And so we will relate that in the closest relationship to us, and that is in a romantic relationship and we will continue on these patterns in these behaviors that don't serve us and don't ever really create connection. And I'll take it even a step further. Another thing that could be hurting your relationship a lot. So not, not making more than one thing, hurting your relationship, but it's also not realizing where you left up or where you could have done better. Or we could have said things nicer without the other person. Needing to tell you that I recently had my niece and I got into this debate about ADHD and we just went back and forth and she thinks she has ADHD. And I'm like, no, you don't. I've seen you apply yourself. You don't, you don't have that. And. It was a little intense and I can feel the energy in the conversation, not being what I want, every interaction I have to be. And that is an open space, a loving space, a caring space. I want whoever leaves. Any interaction with me to feel heard, understood, loved, and cared for. And I'm only human. So not, I'm not going to be able to do that every single time, but I can recognize, wait a minute. I didn't show up like my best self here. I was a little reactive. I was a little emotional, like I said, my period this month has really just smacked me in the face. With my emotions. So I was on my period and talking about some topic I'm debating. And so I realized the next day I was like, Hey, by the way, I'm sorry that I came off so aggressive with my speaking about the ADHD. I want you to be your healthiest. I believe in you. I think you can do anything. And especially after living with you for a few months, so. If you believe you have that, I want you to go get checked out. I want to be supportive in whatever journey you're going through. And she's like, oh, that's okay. Like, thank you, you know, but. If we don't. If we don't have enough self-awareness and if we are not able to. Understand how we want to show up. What energy we want to give off what energy we want to receive. We are all reflections of each other and mirrors of each other. Why do you think that there's times in your life where you feel drawn to some people and there's times in your life where you feel like you don't want to be around certain people and that's because energetically, you're not a match energetically. At whatever time. You're not going to vibe. You're not reflecting anything or married or anything away from each other. So there's times that you're just not going to talk. You're not going to want to be around people. And so we hurt relationships. Well, we don't speak our actual truth. And it does take a lot of awareness and it does take a lot of emotional regulation and acknowledging And processing before you can speak to somebody about it before you bring it up to somebody. But it's it's and it's let me add more to this. It's never going to be pretty. It's going to be ugly. There's been times that my boyfriend and I have had conversations where we don't know where it's going to go, but we know we want to love and respect each other throughout the whole thing. So there's moments of silence. There's moments of that. That makes sense that I just go around in circles. I'm not sure that I'm like communicating clearly. I just, and we've trying to figure it out together, but there's calm. There's peace. There's love. There's respect. And it doesn't have to look pretty. It just has to be the energy you want to be. And you set the tone. I'm going to keep saying this for the rest of my life, because it dawned on me the other day and I made it. So it made so much sense in my mind, and we are emotional gatekeepers as women. We set the tone for the emotional aspect of the relationship for the emotional tone of the relationship men lead provide do all these other things, but we create emotional safety, but we have to create that within ourselves first. And so I'll leave it at that because I can honestly talk about this subject and this topic forever, but I wanted to keep this short because. I want you to come back to this. When I make a short episode, I'm usually in that energy and that feeling, that emotion, and when I make it short is because I'm very concise on what it is and I want you to hear, and I know that whatever's going to come through me, God, put these words through me so that you guys can listen to it. And it's short and sweet. So you can come back to it. Because I. Reading or. Hearing my YouTube videos from five years ago. Concepts are easy to understand, but it's not until you apply them and you practice them. They that you are able to fully embody them. So listen to this. Whenever you're feeling stuck, listened to this, whenever you're feeling off, listen to this, when you're feeling like, well, I feel this emotion and I want to say something, but I don't know how to say it, and I'm not sure. I listened to this. The reason I make this, the reason I created a podcast is because I want to help. So many of you in this is my one way to do this. Where I can speak to you and God can speak through me for you. And if you love this episode, please share it, send it to other people. It helps me be able to contact and connect with more people like you and more people that need to hear this message. And I appreciate you guys so much. And. I will leave some links in the description. So you guys can connect with me on a deeper level, if you would like to. And if you feel called to after this podcast, And I love you all and happy holidays. I cannot wait to talk to you guys soon. Bye.
