Respecting yourself a little more!

Sometimes we do things to gain respect and admiration from others but we end up disrespecting ourselves and our own needs in the process.  In this week's episode, we dive into the art of honoring your emotions, speaking your truth, and avoiding overextension for the sake of others. Discover how each step toward self-respect not only elevates your own life but also sets a powerful example for how others should treat and respect you. 

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Transcript

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We will feel like we now have to go and get respect from other people or gain that acknowledgement from other people because we're not giving it to ourselves. And so I think. My wish for all of you in this new urine coming up is that we all respect ourselves a little bit more every day. For years, I struggled with toxic relationships and understanding my own emotions. I found myself repeating the same cycles with different people and living in victimhood. I am Maria, your host, and I specialize in self mastery coaching. I've spent the last few years working with various therapists in order to heal my own traumas and help others. This podcast is your dedicated resource for gaining emotional intelligence, nurturing self awareness, and cultivating healthy relationships. If you're prepared to master your emotions, improve your relationships, and create captivating self confidence, Then this podcast is for you. Thank you for listening and welcome to this week's episode. Hey guys, and Merry Christmas. If you're listening to this episode. It did come out on Christmas day. It's Monday, the 25th. And just want to wish you guys all America Christmas. If you're listening to this after the fact. So wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy new year. I'm so excited to be sitting here and talking about this because this is a topic that's been heavy on my mind. Um, after I heard a mentor of mine. Masterclass. And it's about respecting yourself above all else. And how we don't do that very often. Sometimes we forget that the most important person to respect and to acknowledge in our lives is ourselves. And so I want to dissect and get into how you might not be respecting yourself, how I haven't respected myself in the past. And this is not only a romantic relationships, but also friendships. At your job with your colleagues, with your friends, with whoever is in your life. And. Even the fact that we sometimes do things that is disrespectful to ourselves is crazy because we normally wouldn't disrespect somebody on purpose. And if we do, we would feel bad, but a lot of the times we disrespect ourselves and we don't even realize it until it's too late or we don't even acknowledge it or apologize to ourselves. And so let's get into, I mean, that's the day after Christmas or whatever, you're listening to this or on Christmas day. And I'm sure that during the holidays, because most of us do this, we do things that we feel like we have to do. We feel like we need to be nice. We need to buy, we need to overgive we need to overextend. We need to do we need to do we need to overdue. And so when we're in that energy, that alone, it's not respecting ourselves. If we truly don't want to do something and we do it because we feel like we're obligated to, or we feel like we need to do it because the other person wants us to, we're not respecting our own needs our own. Boundaries our own. Energy and. Energy, something that we really should put really high on our priority list. And we should respect the most because energy is not infinite. We only have a limited amount of energy in a day. And I've talked about it on here before, or maybe it was on an Instagram live. It was probably on an Instagram life, but we only have enough energy to last us to a certain amount of a day that's why we have to rest. That's why we have to sleep. And so when we leak our energy to so many places, too many people, so many people, and we're not respecting what is true to us, what is truly aligned to us. We will feel drained. We will feel exhausted. We will feel like we now have to go and get respect from other people or gain that acknowledgement from other people because we're not giving it to ourselves. And so I think. My wish for all of you in this new urine coming up is that we all respect ourselves a little bit more every day. And that's just one example because the seasons are here. Another example is we don't respect our bodies. A lot of the times with the food we put in it or what we eat or what we consume. I mean, how many times have you drank a little too much? And you're like, oh my gosh, I feel like crap. I'm never doing that again. And then eventually you just do it again, but we're not respecting our bodies to that sense of we're over-drinking or we're overeating, or we're doing we're putting poison or anything. That's not good in our bodies. We're not respecting our bodies. So one vessel that we have to carry us in this lifetime. There's not, we can't just like exchange this one. It was one body and get a new one in our lifetime. We should be respecting and honoring ourselves now in, in this body, in this lifetime. And also in the spirituality world or in religion, sometimes we don't respect. A higher power. God, we don't respect. What. We all were meant here to do. We will play small. We won't respect our dreams, our wishes, our ambition. We don't respect the things that we admire. The most, that things are really bring us joy and happiness and. In life, we don't respect those things. And so I want you to really ponder and think of like, what areas are you not respecting yourself? Are you not working out? Are you not drinking enough water? Are you not moving your body enough? Maybe it's not working out. Maybe it's just walking, doing yoga, sitting in silence, meditating. Clearing your mind. Respecting our emotions and mind is just as important as well. And let's dive into that. We all know if you follow me on here. You've listened to any of my podcasts. Emotions are my passion because they can either consume us, drain us, take us down a rabbit hole. Or if we are able to actually feel our emotions, be aware of them, they can really empower us. But do we respect our emotions? I'm going to pause here for a second. So you can be honest with yourself. I would say a lot of us don't respect our emotions because it's uncomfortable. The moment we feel. On emotion, we feel so uncomfortable. And so we numb them. We avoid them. We distract ourselves. With Instagram, with TV, with polling, with sex, with people, with things to do with alcohol, we numb ourselves. We do whatever we can to not feel or respect or emotion. And emotions are like the most beautiful thing that we get to experience as humans. Because emotions. I think emotions can be like a little heavy sometimes. And we're like, oh, that's crazy. Like, what is an emotion? Emotion is something we feel we cannot control what we feel. We can not control any part of our emotions, but we can control how we react and respond to them. And so the only reason that emotions are so beautiful is because we get to experience the most beautiful things in life. Like love happiness, joy, really great emotions. But if we don't respect the emotions that are considered less a negative or lower vibrational emotions like sadness. Depression. Feeling anxious. Uh, feeling angry or whatever, if we don't actually sit with those emotions long enough to understand them, be aware with them, let them process through our body. They will. Cost so much havoc in our lives. So much trauma and so much more issue, so much more pain. Your relationship with will just be crappy. Your relationship with yourself would be even worse. And so. Are you respecting your emotions and I'll, I'll let this emotion talk just guidance right into romantic relationships and friendships. When we don't honor ourselves and respect ourselves enough, we will never get it from friendships. Or a romantic relationship and that's just the truth and it's, it's not the prettiest thing. But I always just want to sit here and be really raw and honest and open with you guys because I've seen it time and time again with anyone that I've talked to, anyone that I've dealt with and my own life experiences that any time. I wanted respect and murmuration and all these things from somebody else. And I was not giving it to myself. I never received it from somebody else because you first have to give it to yourself. You can't expect your partner or your friends or anyone to respect you. If you don't respect yourself. And how do you respect yourself? You honor your feelings, you honor your emotions. You honor the things that you want to talk about. You honor the things that are heavy in your mind. You honor all these emotions and things that you're feeling because you recognize that you're human. And you don't react to them and you don't impose your emotions onto other people, but instead of you're giving yourself a safe space to feel them and you allow, and you respect yourself enough to just sit there and sit in that. And then you can communicate that with other people. And we do this a lot in relationships and romantic relationships, because it is that gap between feeling that emotion. And actually being aware enough to understand what it means. And then reacting to your partner that causes the most tension in relationships because I can feel, and I'll give myself as an example. Like I. Do you guys know way too much of my life, but I love it because I don't, I truly don't believe I went through everything I've been through so that I can't talk to you guys about this and help you through it. So let's say I feel an emotion, right? I feel insecurity or doubt or fear. And I'm not able to in a very respectful way, say this to my partner and let him into my feelings and let him into my world. And instead I hold it in or I numb it, or I distract where I avoid those feelings because. That's just uncomfortable. That's just not hot. That's just sounds sexy. It's not hard to be like, Hey honey, I want to be vulnerable and just let you into my mind. And I'm feeling X, Y, and Z. And like, those are not the fun conversations. They're not the sexy conversations, but they are the conversations that have to be had. And I am now in a place in my life where I respect myself enough because. I truly, when I go into and I tell my boyfriend, not only do I know he's going to hold a safe space for me, but I also know that no matter what his reaction is, I'm still holding fine. I respect myself to know that. I am not expecting anything from him. I just need to respect myself enough to voice this, but it's in that feeling, that emotion, and then in how I interact and communicate this with him. That shows him respect, but my self-respect even more. And so sometimes it's our partners that do things that we don't enjoy or that we don't like. And we don't respect ourselves enough to say something we don't respect ourselves enough to say something. And so we hold it in. And then we blow up or then we act in certain ways because of that. And then, so we start maybe even slowly disrespecting the person or the relationship because they made us feel a certain way. We never said anything. And so you were in this like disrespect loop, but really the person that you're hurting the most in this is yourself. And so I, I urge you to respect yourself enough to speak up for yourself when you need to, to, to respect yourself enough, to leave a relationship that does not serve you, that does not validate your feelings that does not make you feel emotionally safe. I urge you to respect yourself enough to take care of your potty, to say no to the things that don't feel good to. Really tune in with yourself and ask yourself things. And I'll give you a little tangible here on what to do. And this is something that I am not a hundred percent good at, but this is something I started implementing a few months ago. And I want to just continue getting better at it. But it was asking myself, well, how am I feeling right now before I go do anything that either relates with other people or that's going to put me in a different like mental state. So let's say, for example, I know I'm going to have a drink or two, or I want a glass of wine. I asked myself, what is my emotional state right now? And if it's anything other than, well, I feel like good. And I just want to have a glass of wine because I want to experience the wine. I want to taste it. I desire the glass of wine if it's anything but that if it's. Well, I'm stressed out. I'm anxious. I just want to feel nothing. I want to forget. I want to just disconnect. I want to know myself or I'm feeling angry and I just want to drink, so I don't feel, or I just want to distract myself if it's any of those things. I don't drink. I don't go there. I don't, I decide not to. And like I said, I'm getting better at this. It doesn't always happen because I'm only human and I get triggered and I get things and. I do sometimes just not respect myself enough to give myself that space and really acknowledged my feelings. ANd saving a relationship with a friendship before you go and talk in a reactive way to somebody or you speak to them about something you're feeling, ask yourself what is my emotional state. And if it isn't. I am grounded. I am feeling whole, I feel good. Even the movie with. You're not a hundred percent good, but you're not any reactive high intensity emotional state. Then have that talk because you respect yourself enough to actually check in with yourself. And now you're going to respect the other person because you were able to give yourself that check-in because if you are in those heightened emotional states, we have so many blind spots, emotions create blind spots for us. And so we're not able to really respect ourselves if we can't see these blind spots and we, can't definitely not respect other people if we can't see these blind spots. So when we're emotionally heightened, that is not the time to make any rash decisions. Do you have any deep talks to make any big life changes to drink alcohol, to numb yourself with weed or whatever it is he want to do? Because what happens then is that you're going to feel ashamed later. You're going to feel guilt. You're going to feel resentment. You're going to feel heavier emotions later on. And because you did not respect yourself. It all comes back to respect. And so I hope that when you're listening to those, I hope during Christmas time, you guys all had a peaceful Christmas, even though I know it's hard with family, but ask yourself, how can I start respecting myself a little more today? How can I start respecting. My life, my emotions, my family, my friends, my relationship. A little more and make this a goal of yours in 2024. I think that that's what it all comes down to is just your self respect. And I'll leave it at that. I wanted to make a short and sweet it's the holidays. I know a lot of people don't have 20, 30, 40 minutes to listen to a podcast and I'm actually really digging these like smaller episodes because. I'm really getting down to the deep, meaty, like juiciness. And next week's episode is about. Five things that I believe we all should do in order to really become aligned with ourselves and give ourselves those quantum leaps for 2024. And this list is like magical. It's what I implemented all year this year. And I had the most amazing year of my life. I traveled so much. I realigned with myself. I found my purpose. I started my podcast. I got into an amazing relationship. I have healed parts of myself. I broke some patterns and old habits I connected with other women that was a big goal of mine is to connect with other women because I had this This wound about my feminine relationship with other women. And I've created this magical year for myself and I can not wait for next year and I can not wait to share that episode with you guys. So you guys can get some. Little nuggets from what I've done this year that have really shifted and changed my life so much. So. I will leave it at that. I hope you guys have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year. I'll talk to you guys next week.