Love series Part 4: Feeling truly worthy of the love you desire!

Hi guys!  In this week's podcast episode, we're diving into the first installment of a four-part series exploring love-related topics for the month of February. As we embrace the spirit of love, let's embark on a journey of depth and vulnerability to manifest the love we crave. Throughout these four episodes, I'll guide you through gaining clarity, fostering self-awareness, and addressing essential aspects like healing from past relationship wounds, articulating your desires, and understanding triggers and needs, all leading to a profound sense of worthiness for the love you genuinely seek.

Week four is all about feeling truly worthy of the love you've always desired. Being able to open your heart space to hold the amount of love you've always wanted. Releasing negative self-beliefs that were created from your past so you can be in your full receiving energy!


Tune in and join me on this transformative exploration of love and self-discovery!


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EmpowerHer- 90 min coaching session for single ladies:

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RelationshipReset- 90-minute coaching sessions for women in relationships or married. 

My intensive coaching session is tailored to help you reignite that spark and intimacy. I will help you shed the burden of mothering and resentment so you can reclaim your feminine energy. As women, we are the emotional gatekeepers in relationships and when we are whole and grounded in self-love and validation we can create magic in our relationship. 

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ReclaimYou- 90-minute coaching session for women going through breakup or divorce. 

I will help you let go of the weight of resentment, anger, shame and guilt that comes from h

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Transcript

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We start building. Subconsciously concrete evidence that we're not worthy of love. If we never felt that connection with our parents growing up, then we get into romantic relationships and those people that we're with, aren't able to love us properly. Then we start thinking, well, I must be me. I must just be unlovable. For years, I struggled with toxic relationships and understanding my own emotions. I found myself repeating the same cycles with different people and living in victimhood. I am Maria your host, and I specialize in self-mastering coaching. I've spent the last few years working with various therapists in order to heal my own traumas and help others. This podcast is your dedicated resource for gaining emotional intelligence, nurturing self-awareness, and cultivating healthy relationships. If you're prepared to master your emotions, improve your relationships, and create captivating self-confidence. Then this podcast is for you. Thank you for listening and welcome to this week's episode. Hey guys, welcome to part four of the love series. I feel like I need like a. Really like dark voice, like smokey, like sunshine. Late night radio voice for the series, but I don't have that. So you guys get irregular. I'm actually probably losing my voice at this point, because I've been talking all day. I recorded. All these four parts in one day, because if I'm in the zone. If I'm in the energetic field, in the creative space and my zone of genius, I just stay there and I, I love the F out of it when I'm in there, instead of putting things off, I don't procrastinate and. The reverse is true. If I don't feel like it, I don't force it because I know that that's not the energy I want to put out there. So if you're listening to this at this point, I've been talking for probably like two plus hours because I also went live this morning and it was like a 40 minute video. So. Thank you for sticking with me and listening to part four. I really truly believe that I left the best for last. Because. This is probably the number one. Thing that on a deeper level, most women struggle with. And that is feeling worthy of the love that we actually desire. We go through so much pain, so much trauma, so much heartbreak. Like I said in the first part of the serious that we also start creating self-beliefs. And so. I want to talk about self-beliefs here a little bit before I help you release the. The feelings of unworthiness. Let's talk about what created that unworthiness to begin with. When we don't get loved properly by our parents, or we don't get the emotional support we need. And then we. Undoubtedly fall into relationships that just reflect the same lack of love that we got. We start building. Subconsciously concrete evidence that we're not worthy of love. If we never felt that connection with our parents growing up, then we get into romantic relationships and those people that we're with, aren't able to love us properly. Then we start thinking, well, I must be me. I must just be unlovable. There's no part of me. Like no one loves me, especially if you grew up with trauma or parents that were emotionally or physically or verbally abusive. You start to think. No one really truly is capable of loving me. And so we create the self-belief. And this doubt around. Am I even worthy of love. Will I ever actually feel that love? And so in part one, we went through releasing the past and that is a huge way to release that. Self-belief because. No one's ability to love you or not love you means you're worthy or not worthy. You were born. Lovable and worthy of all of the love. And just because your parents didn't have the emotional capacity or awareness to give you that love. And then you just subconsciously found partners that have reiterated the same feeling doesn't mean that you're not worthy of love. It just means that maybe you were just so in your subconscious and acting and repeating the same patterns that you didn't recognize that you're able to give yourself that love that you truly desire yourself first. And so interrupting that self belief in me. Like, no, that's not, that's not true. I choose to not believe that I'm not worthy of love and then start giving it to yourself in all the ways that you've always desired someone to give it to you. I still romanticize my life. Even if I'm in a relationship now I love to journal and write letters to myself. I wrote myself future letters like. I'm the person I want to be in a year and five years. I say how proud I am of myself. I talked to my inner child and I tell her I'm proud of her. I tell her she's safe. I give myself everything that I needed as a child now, as an adult. Learning to repair it yourself will help you with this self worthiness. Because unfortunately, just like I talked about closure and I think part. Three now. I'm getting them all confused now, but I did talk about closure and closure is just an illusion. Closure just means that you want to still feel what you didn't feel in that relationship. You want that person to validate you and to tell you. That you were wonderful and that you're lovable and they were amazing. And so with our parents, we want that as well. We want our parents to feel proud of us. So tell us that we're doing an amazing job to tell us that. You know, there were so great and all of these things, but most of our parents just like our Xs will never have that. Self-awareness. To realize that within themselves and let alone give that to you. So it's your it's up to you to give it to yourself. And so find all the ways. And this is an exercise I love to do with my clients is how do you desire to be loved? How, like write it down. I want to feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I want to be gifted gifts. I want to be taken. To Paris, whatever. I don't know, like whatever I want to, you know, for my man to rub my feet every night, whatever it is that you truly desire. I want you to make a list. And I want you to write them down. And whether you've gotten it in the past from a past relationship or you haven't. I want you to start giving these things to yourself. And I know you're probably like, well, it's not the same. It's not like another person and I'm not cuddle. I can't really cuddle myself. No, but you can give yourself hugs. I can't even tell you the amount of times in the last. A year and a half that I've given myself hugs. Because I've really enjoyed my solitude and sometimes I just need a hug and I'm like, let me just, I criss cross my arms around me and I'm like, Oh, I feel so safe. Like I love myself, like how amazing is it that I can truly say that for once in my life that I truly love myself. And so whatever it is that you desire, if you desire. Somebody to send you flowers, go buy yourself flowers. This one was a big one for me. I don't know why there was always like this. Feeling of like, I wanted somebody to bring me flowers. And, you know, like not every guy that I was with was so good about this. Some were some weren't. And I remember going to the grocery store after my last breakup. When I moved here to Orlando by myself and. I was like, Hey, go to the grocery store. I remember being like, oh, I hate girl going to the grocery store. I'm like, no, how do I romanticize my life? I was like, you know what? Let me buy myself flowers. So now every time I go to the grocery store. I buy myself flowers. And when I'm with my boyfriend, he buys me flowers, but. It's just an added bonus because I don't need him to buy me flowers. I buy myself flowers because I want to in that makes me happy. And so when my boyfriend does it, I can appreciate it to a whole other level. Now. It's crazy when we start giving ourselves. Well, we've always desired first. We're not in need or lack anymore. And so we're able to be in our feminine, receiving energy so much more. I can truly be like, wow, how beautiful I even smell the flowers. Like I don't even know who I am. Sometimes old Maria in her, like full on masculine, super hyper independent. I probably wasn't even appreciative when I got flowers. That's probably why most of the men in my life stopped giving. Worse because I didn't even take a moment to appreciate the fact that somebody went to the store. Thought of me saw some beautiful flowers and said, let me take it back to my beautiful girlfriend or wife or whatever I was at the time. And let me take, let me give this to her. I was probably like, oh, thanks. Now I see them and I'm like, oh my gosh. Like it's like the most. Like I smell them. I take a picture of them. Like I really sit in the moment. Because I can appreciate them just as much as I appreciate it. When I go to the store and I buy myself flowers, I smell them. I look at them. I think they're beautiful. I envision them in my vase. And I start really feeling worthy of it because of it. So when we're able to give it to ourselves, we feel worthy when somebody gives it to us. And you may be listening to this and thinking, well, I don't have enough time to give to myself and I have kids or I'm always over-giving, I'm the one that's always doing. And whatever stories you've made up in your head, they, you don't have the time for you. You do have the time, you have time to show up for yourself. You have time to have a little nighttime routine or a morning routine. Or 10 minutes to yourself or to buy yourself something sweet or to give yourself something. There's been a lot of times where in the past. And also I'll tell you another one. And jewelry for whatever reason I've always wanted. Whoever I was with to buy me jewelry. And it's because I didn't feel worthy of buying myself jewelry. There was two, and I'll tell you how all this ties up to our past every single time. If you sit with something long enough, I promise you, it is tied up to some trauma that you had in the past. Big trauma, little trauma, some trauma. I remember when I was younger. This is the story is going to make sense of feeling worthy about things. So out when I was younger, my stepdad. And my mom were together and my stepdad worked really hard, but he didn't have a lot of money. And I remember for my birthday, he bought me a bracelet. It was a tennis bracelet, beautiful tennis bracelet. It was over a thousand dollars. And at that time it was a lot of money. It's still a lot of money now, but at that time it was even more of a big deal, especially because he didn't make a lot of money and I took it to school and I lost it. And I was in high school. Like I wasn't a little kid. I was like in high school and I lost it. I can run. I'm assuming during PE or something. I don't know. I never saw the bracelet again. And I remember feeling so guilty. I already felt like I wasn't worthy when I got it. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is such a nice bracelet. Like I remember not feeling like excited, like, oh yeah, I deserve this. It's amazing. Look at me. I'm so. I remember feeling like, oh my gosh, this is so pretty. I don't really like, deserve this, you know, like, oh, okay. I guess I'll put it on. And then I lost it and I was devastated. My sublet didn't make me feel bad about it. My mom sure did. And I felt just bad about it, period, and even worse. And so that started a whole self-belief that I'm not worthy of jewelry because I can't trust myself with jewelry because I don't deserve it because I'll lose it. And so growing up, I remember when my ex-husband gave me a huge rock. I didn't feel worthy of it. I remember being so scared. I was terrified. He proposed in Santa Reni. And I was terrified the whole trip because it didn't have insurance that I was going to lose it, that I was going to snag it on something that the rock was going to fall off. Like. I was terrified. Terrified. And so I've always wanted men to buy me jewelry, but even when I got like a really pretty ring, I didn't feel worthy of it. I was like, I'm not worthy of it. I can't, I don't feel safe. I'm going to fuck it up. I don't feel good about it. And so I've bought myself. Little bits and pieces of jewelry stuff and bought myself something nice. And that's something I want to work towards. I just, I've been traveling more and spending my money and other things that I value at the moment, but that is something on my forefront that I want to buy myself a nice piece of jewelry, whether it's earrings or a bracelet or something, because I truly feel worthy of it. And that way, when. My man gets me a piece of jewelry. I can appreciate it even more. We create self-beliefs around things that have heard us causes trauma, and it's up to us to release that shame, release that guilt. And detached from the self believes that we're because of those things have happened to us that we're not worthy of something that we're not worthy of. The love that we desire and to be treated a certain way and to be doted on and all of these things that we want as women. And I'm going to add on another piece of this before I let this go. I wanted to make this one short and sweet because it is the last one. And it's the most important, but it's also. It's that simple, like all you have to do. Is start giving to yourself all the love that you desire. And interrupting that self-belief when it comes up. And then this other, part's going to make a lot of sense. It's also not only releasing the shame and the guilt. But loving all parts of you. Because at the time when you did the things that you did, you took the behavior or you. We're a doormat or you engaged in behavior. You're not proud of, or you let people walk all over you or you over agave or you weren't true to yourself, or you didn't respect yourself at the time you thought you were doing the right thing. It felt right at the time. Just like the things you're doing right now feel right to you right now. And the things you do in the future will feel right to you then. And you'll look back. And you can either look back at this version right now and say, wow. I love that part of me because it taught me this. Or you can look back and feel shame and guilt that you allowed things to happen. And when we're able to truly love every single era, every single part of us, every. Iteration of us. We start feeling love and compassion for us, which will inevitably. Allow us to feel worthy of more love and more compassion. So that we can be receptive and open because if we don't. The future version of us is already hating this version that is here right now. The person you aren't right now. And right now you're perfect and beautiful and great and amazing all the way is just the way you are without changing or evolving or growing. And so you have to be able to start loving every single part of you, even the parts of your shamed of even the parts you feel guilty of. And the good feelings of loving yourself through it all. It's only going to compound even more, better. Good feelings. So I love you all. Thank you so much for listening to these four episodes. This is a month of love. And like I said before, I love love, and I'm a super in love. So why not make this. Love serious, especially being a relationship coach. I figured what better time than the month of love. And again, I have my 90 minute intensive coaching programs that I have launched recently, and I have some for my single ladies, for my ladies and relationships and for my ladies going through heartbreak. Or divorce. So I'm linking it all on the bottom. And for my podcast listeners, I'm giving you guys a special discount. And I usually like to talk to you guys to make sure that it's a good fit. I don't think these 90 minute intensives are for everyone. I created this so that I could help more people in different ways, but this is for the girl that's like ready to just step it up. Like she has worked on herself. She has some self-awareness, but she's still feeling stuck in some way. She has some negative, self-beliefs some worthiness. She wants to work through some healing. Parts of her some blind spots and I'm here in those 90 minutes. To dig deep with you and get all the good stuff out so that you can start creating and upleveling to the. life that you truly desire. And thank you so much for listening and being here. And I cannot wait to talk to you guys next week.