Womenhood: The Duality of Being Strong, Soft and Feminine.

In a world that often places women in narrowly defined boxes, the journey of embracing womanhood becomes a delicate balance of strength, softness, and embracing one's feminine essence. Join us on this empowering podcast as we dive into the multifaceted nature of being a woman. From societal expectations to personal experiences, we explore the complexities that women face in reconciling their innate strength with the desire to express vulnerability and softness. 

Work with me: 
 
1:1 coaching options available through my DMs- Connect with me on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/_maria.fuentes_/ or you can email me- 
info@mariafuentes.net

Powerful 90-Minute Intensive Coaching Programs Available Now! 

EmpowerHer- 90 min coaching session for single ladies:

Designed for single women seeking profound love and genuine ADORATION! We'll navigate through past barriers together, reshaping your perspective and empowering you to embrace the love you deserve. You will leave this coaching call with more self-awareness, clarity, knowledge and empowerment to step into the dating scene and attract the man you desire.

https://mariafuentes.net/p/empowerher-a-90-minute-intensive-coaching-session-for-single-women

RelationshipReset- 90-minute coaching sessions for women in relationships or married. 

My intensive coaching session is tailored to help you reignite that spark and intimacy. I will help you shed the burden of mothering and resentment so you can reclaim your feminine energy. As women, we are the emotional gatekeepers in relationships and when we are whole and grounded in self-love and validation we can create magic in our relationship. 

https://mariafuentes.net/p/relationship-reset-a-90-minute-intensive-coaching-session-for-women-in-relationships

ReclaimYou- 90-minute coaching session for women going through breakup or divorce. 

I will help you let go of the weight of resentment, anger, shame and guilt that comes from heartbreak. This will allow space for healing and a renewed sense of self.

Together we will rebuild your self-esteem by embracing self-compassion and self-awareness. We will co-create a new empowered

If you enjoyed this episode Hit the subscribe button for updates, and if you love this podcast, please leave a review. Your feedback helps other women like you discover and benefit from it.

Unlock your true potential with our FREE Rediscover Worksheet tool! This simple tool will guide your self-discovery journey, helping you uncover your authentic self and regain personal power. Download now and start your transformation today!- https://mailchi.mp/mariafuentes/rediscover-yourself-the-muse

Need extra support from Maria? Join MUSE Energy, her exclusive women 's-only channel on Instagram, for more insights and inspiration! - https://www.instagram.com/direct/inbox/?thread_key=8628881520460159

For personalized 1:1 coaching, visit Maria’s website at mariafuentes.net or email her at info@mariafuentes.net for guidance.- https://mariafuentes.net/

Follow Maria on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/_maria.fuentes_/

Transcript

0:00

It all starts with our own relationship or self relationship. We have to take care of ourselves. And give and nurture ourselves. We're givers. And we love to do it for everyone else. And we overextend and we over-give, and then we're exhausted. For years, I struggled with toxic relationships and understanding my own emotions. I found myself repeating the same cycles with different people and living in victimhood. I am Maria, your host, and I specialize in self mastery coaching. I've spent the last few years working with various therapists in order to heal my own traumas and help others. This podcast is your dedicated resource for gaining emotional intelligence, nurturing self awareness, and cultivating healthy relationships. If you're prepared to master your emotions, improve your relationships, and create captivating self confidence. Then this podcast is for you. Thank you for listening and welcome to this week's episode. Hey guys, welcome to this week's episode. I am so thankful to be sitting here and speaking with you all. You have no idea how much I love showing up on social media for you guys showing up for my clients, showing up on this podcast. It really brings so much. Fulfillment to my soul and so much love and so much passion and so much. Gratitude and. I'm actually getting surgery tomorrow. It's elective. It's my boobs. I'm just getting my boobs right now. And I'm probably, won't talk about it on social media, but I figured. I tell you guys so much, so why not tell you? And I'm very nervous about it. And I was like, okay, what can I do? Because you know me, I'm all about shifting energies and we get to choose. We get to choose what our day looks like and what we put energy towards. So instead of worrying and just sitting here, stressing myself out about surgery tomorrow. I was like, let me record Monday's episode. Instead of another episode I had ready for you guys so that I can just chit chat and. This topic came so effortlessly as I was on my Walker earlier, because I was like, this is what it needs to be about and needs to be about womanhood and how we're able to be strong, but also soft and feminine. And this is something I've struggled with. Of course, like everything else I talk about on here, I've struggled with so much, and it's honestly something I'm continuously defining for myself. And I want to take you on that journey with me and also. Let you know what that looks like in a relationship, because in a relationship you want to be strong. You want to hold your boundaries. You want to make sure that you're upholding and putting yourself on a pedestal, but you also want to be soft and feminine in your relationship because there's duality in a relationship. There needs to be duality for there to be attraction and chemistry. And also when we are able to really dive into our femininity, when we're in a partnership with somebody. Magical things start to happen. You feel more fulfilled, you feel more receiving, you feel more giving, you feel more nurtured, you feel more loved. You feel all these amazing things. But society and growing up and the way that we've been taught and kind of told we need to be, is a lot of the opposite and it is. W it keeps us in our masculine energy, especially with the work we do and just this entrepreneurial ship, you know, hustle, mentality, and all these things that people push out there of what we should be doing as women. And how we should have it all in how we. Should, make a lot of money, but also be a mom, but also be a great wife, but also be a great friend and all these things and all these different hats we want to wear. And sometimes we stay stuck in this masculine energy because we're trying to wear all these hats that truly, probably doesn't even feel aligned with us. And so let's start there. What do you want to be strong at? This is one of the questions that came to mind as I was on my walk. What makes you feel strong and why do you want to be strong at something for me? I want to be emotionally strong and mentally strong. And that's where I'm at in life now. But before I wanted to be strong in my finances, I wanted to make a lot of money so that I can retire my ex-husband. I was very unaligned energy because it felt really stressful to me. It didn't feel good. And so now what I find powerful and what I know I want to be strong at are things that are aligned with me. My emotions. I've always been a very emotionally driven person. And so mastering my emotions and being super aware of them and acknowledging them, giving them the space that they deserve. That's me being strong. And now I know that that's me being strong. And the money and the business and everything else that I do are just extras and parts of me. I want to have mental resilience. I want things to happen and not take me down a spiral like it used to. I want to be able to hold space for other people and to help them and navigate them and being a coach. I have to have really great mental resilience because I get thrown a lot of different things at different angles, from different people, different energies. And so that's what I want to be strong at. So ask yourself, what do you want to be strong at? Because if it's not aligned with who you are, To your core, it would always keep you in your, like in a toxic masculine feeling. Let's say that you, your whole life like me wanted to just make a lot of money because there's maybe uncertainty with money growing up. And you've been in this like masculine energy if like I have to make money. And until I make a certain amount of money. I am not fulfilled. I am not going to be successful. But to your core, there's nothing that's really aligned to that. And when you peel back the layers, it's really just fear-driven. And so you're going to be in a constant fight with your feminine energy and your masculine energy. You're going to be fighting with the two and you're your main energy, which is your feminine energy. If you're a woman and you're listening to this arming energy is feminine. We could have a lot of masculine energy or a very little masculine energy, but our leading energy is feminine because we're women. And so if we're constantly in an energy that doesn't align with us, or we're staying there longer than we need to be and not just using it for what it is, It can be really draining and. I'll give you some examples of that as well. It's it's not only in work and finances. When you're working, you're doing things you're in your masculine energy in that sense. But if you're a mother and you're listening to this, if you are mothering your children, if you're constantly don't do this, don't do that. Why are you doing this? And reprimanding more than just loving and nurturing. You're in a mothering energy and mothering energy is not feminine. It's actually a masculine energy. And sometimes we mother, our partners. Let's be real ladies, if you're listening to this, I'm sure at some point you've listened to your partner and you're like, whoa, that sounds so stupid. Why are you doing that? Why are you doing this? No, this is better. This sounds like a better idea. Are you dumb? Like. What are you thinking? Even if you I'm saying in all those words in some way, shape or form, I'm sure you've mothered your partner. And mothering energy is masculine. And again, it's not our leading energy. It's not what feels good to us. And so then what happens in a relationship is that. If you're with a truly masculine man. And you stay stuck in your masculine. That's two masculine energies fighting. And having confrontations and not working properly together because a very masculine. Man's not going to be attracted to a woman that's in her masculine and a lot. And vice versa. And so really get specific to where do you want to be strong? Where, and when, I mean, strong is like, what. What do you value? What is it you want to be strong at? Is it, do you want to be a great mother? Like you want that to be your biggest strength in life? Like I want to be the best mother ever. You probably have to be more in your feminine energy to be the best mother ever, because that's what kids need is that love that nurturance. That that feeling right? If, if their dad's not in the picture, maybe you do step into more of a masculine world because of that. But being more in your feminist, what's going to make you the best mother that you can for them. And what they're going to remember the most, because you're going to be able to love them from an energy that's aligned to you. Or let's say that you want to be the best at your career of choice, whatever that is. Ask yourself why you want to be the best at that. Is it because you want to help people? Is it because you love what you do. You're passionate about what you do, like find the underlying reason of where you want to be strong and find a deeper purpose. That is not masculine energy driven and masculine energy driven purposes is a lot of productivity and money and finances. That's where most men find their fulfillment in life. But as women, most of the time that doesn't feel aligned to us. And so finding what's aligned to you doesn't mean that you can't have the other, if you're listening to this and you're like, well, Maria, you know, I want to be a great mother, but I also want to make some money. I am with you. And I think we can do it all, but we have to define what that looks like for us and why we're doing the things that we do, because for me, Stepping more into my feminine has helped me with some more doing the providing for myself. The finances it's actually helped open that up more because in the past I didn't have, like I said, a real reason. Uh, lined core valley too while I was chasing money and why I was chasing my career. And so it always felt really like push and pull a misaligned. And I kept hitting a lot of. Stagnant energy and it just didn't feel good. And now that I've been more free flowy in my energy and I'll go into what that looks like here in a second. It's allowed for everything else to be more expansive and more open. Feminine energy is flowy free flowy. We're not controlling things. We're not trying to manipulate things. And so once you start getting defined, there's almost like a pressure that gets taken off your shoulders, like, okay. Well, I don't really want that. That's actually not aligned. I actually want this. And maybe there's a way that I can make money while I'm being a great mother while I'm being a great spouse while I'm wearing whatever hat you want to wear and whatever you want to be strong at. But being really clear about that first is what that allows that free flowing energy to come into your life. And for me, it's been a lot of. Tuning in more to my body. And my emotions and being vulnerable and being open and being uncomfortable with that because I used to believe, especially coming from. Hispanic Latin background that in order to be strong, you shouldn't cry. You should probably be explosive with your emotions instead of just being vulnerable and really telling somebody how you feel. Instead, I would just be reactive and explosive with my emotions because that's what I was taught. Was normal. But that's not what felt aligned. Like there was not one time that I screamed at any ex partner. Or, you know, took too much from a friend and then burst it out with. I can be your friend anymore because you're taking too much from me that I felt connected to those people afterwards. You know, it pushes anyone away. No one wants to be in a relationship with somebody. They can't control their emotions or even understand them. And instead are reactive to things. And so I started just really being uncomfortable and allowing those emotions to just be there and not judging them. Another thing we do when we're in our masculine energy too much is that we judge the emotional parts of ourselves, the feminine side of ourselves, because we're like, well, logically. This doesn't make sense. Why are we feeling this? And so we either push it aside. We numb it, or we judge the crap out of it. And if you judge the crap out of your emotions, that's going to keep you in your masculinity. It's not going to allow for that openness. And one of the reasons I actually want to talk about this because I, I struggled with it and I've S I've seen a lot of my girlfriends struggle with it. And a lot of my clients struggle with this because. Of who I am. I've always attracted really strong women and independent women. And when you're strong and independent, we create these masks and these walls and these barriers that doesn't allow her free, feminine energy to flow. And so these are the things I teach my clients. These are the things I work with my clients on and whatever capacity they're in, whether they're in a relationship or they're not especially understanding their emotions, that's where your true power and your gateway to your femininity is, is, or coming back to yourself and also moving your body, right. There's ways to express yourself with your body. You can dance, you can move, it's a silly, as it sounds like moving your body. It shifts the energy within you. And. That helps you tap into your feminine energy, even more. And it opens up your sexuality and your sensuality, which doesn't hurt the relationship you're in either, right? Because the opposite is that there is no sensuality and sexuality because you're in your masculine, you're doing your mother and your partner, your mother, and your kids, your mother and everyone. And at the end of the day, you're exhausted. The last thing you want to do is have sex with your partner because you're in that masculine energy. So when we allow ourselves to feel and receive. And this is another one because we're a lot of women are independent. Or receiving things was kind of looked down upon. Maybe you never really received a lot growing up. When a man tries to give to you how you receive that. We'll also allow him to want to give more to you or not give more to you because if you're unable to really receive that from a place of, wow, that's amazing. Like that feels so good. Thank you. That man will. Understand and learn that you don't want to be given things to that doesn't feel good to you. So. It's the things we want the most that unless we're able to transition into those energies. We will repel and we will push away. And so in relationships, somewhat the Celeste, just get into that part. Since I'd love to jump the gun sometimes. In relationships, some of the ways you can be soft is also some of the ways that your software with yourself, understanding your emotions and being vulnerable. And you could do that in a relationship by first, giving yourself space to understand your emotions when you feel something. I want you to understand that when you feel any emotion, whether it's heavy or not of your spouse, your partner. You know, frustrated, you upset you, whatever it is. They're not responsible for your emotions and if they triggered you, there's something underlying that actually triggered you. So understanding that reason is going to take a little while it's not going to happen when you're feeling emotional. So giving yourself that space. And a relationship that's going to set the tone and it's going to show your partner how emotionally mature you are. And that you're in your feminine energy, because if you're able to give yourself the gift of pausing. And understanding your emotions before you like splurt out and. Scream at him, yell at him. Say something you might regret later. Things are shifting. Men's are feeling like, okay, this. I'm safe. This is a soft energy that she's bringing into this relationship. But in order to give that to somebody in a relationship, we first have to give that to yourself and everyone wants to jump the gun out. Clients are like, well, how do I do this in my relationship? I'm like, well, are you doing this for yourself? And most of the time they're like, well, no. And I'm like, well, you have to do it for yourself first. Right? It all starts with our own relationship or self relationship. We have to take care of ourselves. And give and nurture ourselves. We're givers. And we love to do it for everyone else. And we overextend and we over-give, and then we're exhausted. And then we have nothing left for us. And we think that that's being strong. We think that over-giving and overdoing and being there for everyone else's what's. Really strong about us, but it's actually one of our weaknesses as women. Because then we have nothing left for ourselves. We've pushed away any feminine energy that is free flowy, and we are not allowed to be soft anymore because we don't have anything left in us where we're doing things out of emptiness. And in relationships being vulnerable and be able to speak before you hit those walls before you over-give, before you. You've gone too far and you're exhausted and you're drained. Is being vulnerable. And when you use I-statements and we say to your partner, Hey, I feel really overwhelmed right now. It would really help me if you did X, Y, and Z versus doing everything yourself, and then getting super frustrated because they didn't do it right. Or they didn't do what you asked three days ago or anything like that. And this is something that I'm conscious about it. Like you have to think about it because if it's not something that was mirrored to you or something that is natural to you, if you're not in your feminine energy most of the day, either. So let's say that you're in a job that requires for you to be in your masculine a lot. That's what you're going to translate into the relationship. And TJ and I don't live together right now. And I know that's something I'm going to have to purposely be like, okay, taking off the one hat and putting on the other. I work a lot and I'm in my masculine energy a lot. I deal with a lot of business owners. Ideal in my day job, I deal with a lot of business owners. And I'm very logical. So I use a lot of my masculine energy. And it's amazing because it helps me work my other, my other energy and the other side of my brain. And then with my clients, I have to be soft. Feminine. And loving and nurturing and it balances the two out, but because I'm exerting so much energy, I know that when I live with TJ, At the end of my day, I have to be like, okay, I'm a woman and he's my man. And we are in this together, and I can explain to him and be vulnerable, how, where I'm at at the end of the day, or I feel exhausted or I feel good, or, Hey, can I, can you help me with this? Or, Hey, I got, I got tonight. I could feel good about this. I will cook dinner tonight without feeling resentful for doing it later. I get to choose how I set that tone and. It also comes down to respecting the person that you're with and understanding. That if you allow a man to show up for you that he will, but you have to allow that and you have to be softer with how you receive and softer with how you explain the things that you need to them. So that they can show up for you. Men are a lot like children. And TJ, if you're listening to this, I'm sorry, but it's true. And I'm kidding. He. We've had these conversations and he understands, and he agrees with me in a lot of this is that. If you tell a man that he's doing poorly, or he's not doing well enough, he's just going to stop doing so. Just like when you tell a kid, no stop, you're doing this wrong, you're doing that wrong. They shut off, they shut down, they shut off. And so if you do that enough times in a relationship, your man will shut down and will shut off. And again, it's not coming from an energy of, let me, let me act a certain way so that I can get the most masculine amazing man. No, it's the energy of, I love myself. I'm giving my giving to myself. I'm nurturing myself. I'm not over-giving, I'm allowing myself to be soft. I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable and I know where I want to be strong. And I know what strength means to me. And I'm not going to choose one or the other. I get to be all of them, but I first have to give it to myself. And in that energy, in that feminine energy, And in your masculine energy, because you're going to be playing with the duality of both every single day in different, in different percentages. Sometimes you'll be more masculine. Sometimes you'll be more feminine. But in that energy is where you set the tone for how your partner treats you and what you expect for them. It's not let me do this so that they can act a certain way. No, it's let me give to myself, let me set the tone. Let me set the standard limits, set the boundaries. Because how you treat yourself as how they will treat you too. So I'll end the episode with this really define what being strong means to you and in what areas you want to be strong. And what having it all means to you. This is something I had to define a couple of years ago, because again, I want it to be good at everything, and I wanted to be great at everything. And I had my hands in all these different pockets, which in retrospect to help me get to where I'm at, but it also left me really drained because I wasn't really clear on what I wanted and what having it all meant to me. And now I do. I know what having it all means to me now. And now I set the foundation and the groundwork with myself first. And this is what I work with. All my clients you set the standard with yourself first. You're the foundation. Everything else is a beautiful bonus. And it's built on top of that foundation. So ask yourself, what does it mean to have at all? What does it mean to have it all for you? And start with that. And then start acting in accordance to that. If being strong and having it all means that you want to start a company and be a millionaire, or it means that you want to be the best mother and wife. Or you want to be both, what is it going to require? So there's always this push and pull is dynamic. There's loving dance in feminine and masculine energy that if you'll start learning to master and you work with a coach, they will help you master as well. This is something I teach my clients is. Where, where does it feel good to be in your masculine? Where does it not feel? Good to be in your masculine? Where do you really thrive in your feminine energy? And where do you feel like you're faking it? Because a lot of the times, like if I said earlier, Hey, Dancing really helps. And some of you might've rolled your eyes and thought, no, that's crazy. I don't want to dance like that. Doesn't feel good to me. So understanding what feels aligned to you in those energies to. I learning that beautiful dance. So I hope you guys enjoyed this episode and I will talk to you guys next week. Bye.