Emotional Mastery in Love: Insights from My Journey with TJ and Embracing Women as Emotional Leaders

Welcome back to another episode of "You First: A journey to self" I’m thrilled to be here with you once again, especially as we dive into today’s topic on emotional mastery in relationships. I have a special guest with me—my fiancé, TJ. We’re going to explore the crucial role of emotions in relationships, how they can make or break them, and share some personal insights from our journey together.

Key Topics:

1. The Power of Emotions in Relationships:
   • Why emotions are fundamental to the health and success of relationships.
   • How emotions can significantly impact our interactions and overall relationship dynamics.
2. Our Personal Experience:
   • The importance of emotional awareness and communication in our relationship.
   • How being intentional about understanding and discussing emotions has strengthened our bond.
3. The Role of Women as Emotional Leaders:
   • Exploring the concept of women as emotional leaders in relationships.
   • The impact of emotional intelligence and self-awareness on relationship stability and growth.
4. Handling Emotions and Reactions:
   • The shift from emotional reactivity to emotional understanding and self-management.
   • Practical strategies for processing emotions and communicating them effectively without placing undue pressure on your partner.
5. Building a Supportive Relationship:
   • How to support each other through emotional ups and downs.
   • The importance of creating a safe space for open and honest communication.
6. Avoiding Toxic Dynamics:
   • Recognizing and addressing patterns of emotional manipulation or reactivity.
   • Moving from unhealthy relationships to healthier, more balanced connections.
7. Developing Emotional Awareness:
   • Techniques for self-reflection and understanding one’s emotions.
   • How self-awareness contributes to a more fulfilling and less volatile relationship dynamic.
8. The Journey of Self-Discovery:
   • The continuous process of self-discovery and emotional growth.
   • How personal development and emotional maturity enhance relationship quality.

Takeaways:

• Emotional Awareness: Understanding and managing your emotions is key to maintaining a healthy relationship.
• Communication: Open and honest dialogue about feelings fosters trust and connection.
• Self-Responsibility: Owning your emotions and working through them without expecting your partner to “fix” them.
• Support and Safety: Creating a safe

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Transcript

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Wow in my world because wow. I can build something with you. You're you're coming to the table and you're like, Hey, I don't, I know I'm, I'm seeking to be the best version of myself. If anything, it makes anyone that is even close to that. Like a guy like me wanting to also be the best version of myself Welcome to You First, a Journey to Self podcast, where we empower women to rediscover their true, authentic selves and regain personal power. If you are ready for a major shift, you've come to the right place. I am your host, Maria Fuentes, an expert in women's emotional mastery and self discovery. With a degree in psychology and nearly two decades of experience, I am passionate about addressing the challenges women face most. Self love, healthy relationships, and emotional awareness. I've had the privilege of coaching so many incredible women and witnessing their transformation through the methods we'll discuss on this podcast. This show is your weekly space to shift your perspective, find inspiration within and heal in ways that feel true to you. I'm so grateful you're here. Let's dive into this week's episode. Welcome to this week's episode. I'm so excited to be speaking on here again. I think that should be the second or third episode after my relaunch. And I had. I've just been so happy. Just rerecording again, having this time to be able to talk to you. And today I have my fiance here. Hey honey. Yes. Hello? Hello. All right. We're going to talk about some important things, which is emotions. I mean, in a relationship, emotions are so important, right? Yes they are. And it's how. They can really be part, a big part. And they can make or break or any relationship. So I'm excited to dive into that or having a little bit of wine it's Saturday. Yes. I had to bring you guys into our world, into our atmosphere and hopefully through our experiences there, what we've learned sometimes the hard way. And what we are refining within our relationship. Hopefully you guys can get some good. Juice out of this, I can get some good insight. I mean, we all want to be in a healthy relationship. And what does that look like? Right. I think we have a lot of talks about it, and we certainly been very intentional about it in our relationship, which has been a beautiful thing, I think, um, to not just leave it to chance that. Both of us know what's going on, but we've been able to communicate that. I don't know that that's the norm, but damn it, it sure. Makes for more success. Oh, it makes us feel safe to write because we both have a vision. Yeah, at least I feel safer knowing this is where we're going. And even though it might not be as smooth or as clear or as perfect, sometimes it's still where we're going. So we're like going to a mission together. We're going to. An end goal. What does a happy, healthy relationship for the rest of our lives? So. Yes. Yes. And ladies, I want to talk to you specifically because as women and I've talked to TJ about this, we've had multiple conversations about this. I truly believe we are. The emotional leaders and their relationship. We are the gatekeepers. Like we lead by emotions because we're driven by emotions. We feel so many emotions. We're all everything's interconnected for us. Everything's. So intense for us sometimes we're for men. It's not like that. You guys are very. One track minded with whatever. Whatever you're doing. We are made differently. That is correct. And it's a beautiful thing and we shouldn't want to be like each other. But I think that's where we get lost. Sometimes as women, we want to, like, we want you to fix our emotions, help us through our emotions when we don't even give ourselves a chance or the opportunity I know in the past I've worked in this way. I've operated in the sense. Where I had no idea where emotions would come up from, I would judge them out, shame myself for feeling them over. Numb them. I would with alcohol, I would just not talk about them. And then I would explode later and it would be like the most minuscule thing. Like some socks on the floor. Yeah, just doing my last drop. Now with you, you. And I hope to never do this. So that's the goal. And, but before that, like I had to really like, get to know myself, right. I didn't get to understand my emotions, have that awareness process them and remove that shame, that guilt and understand that all emotions are valid and they're beautiful and they're here to teach us, but we are ladies. We are responsible for our emotions, not our guy. Mm, you can help me through them. Like once I'm, once I understand them, I can come to you and you've done such a beautiful job on it. Always helping me. And we telling you, Hey, this is what I'm feeling. I'm not even sure. Sometimes like now that we live together now, I can't even like filter myself out. Like I used to, when we were doing. Now it's like, sometimes you say you catch me real time trying to process these effing emotions. And I'm like, I don't, I don't even know. I have no idea what I'm feeling. I'm just off. And I say, what's going on over there. I can tell something's up. And I love that. You're so intuitive. But you also you're like, okay. Like, I think. It frees you and correct me if I'm wrong. I think it frees you to know that I can. I'm aware enough to know something's going on, even if I'm not sure what it is. Right. But I'm not like putting it on you. Yeah, I'm not forced. I'm not having to walk on eggshells thinking that you're doing something wrong or yeah. And we're both confused. Well, I think, um, and we talked about this a little, just like, alright, what do we want to talk about? And what, what would be helpful? You know, And, um, When we talked, I mean, I I've been in relationships that were, more reactive, like you say. And it's very difficult, at least from a man's point of view to have his woman. You know, the person he's in a relationship with, Him come home and not really know the person he's coming home to like, like to the extent that emotionally, it, it takes so much of his energy just to not be, you know, to be unsure of the state of affairs of his partner when he comes home at the end of the day, or what's going, you know, what's going on. And then. To have a situation where it might be, my, is it okay, it's my job to help figure what's going on. And all of a sudden, like, you don't know if you're up or down. I mean there's so much, I think, lost beautiful energy in life. That is spent on these things. And then there's a lot of things in life that do this to us. If you will. But I mean, As for the sky. That's a very difficult, I think, place because I'm not, like you said, we're not, we're made certain ways where each of us have these great talents that God has given us in there. There, there are things that we do. You know, our job is to either make them more successful or try to dial them in or make them better, you know, and figure out ourselves in the process and in, and then in relationship to two people become this great, successful, beautiful thing together. Yeah. How do we do that? Right. Man, you know, I love that I've caught you at a place in your journey where you have found awareness of the. emotional, knowledge of being able to be aware of your emotions, of being in control of your emotions and just knowing where they're coming, you know, and for me, This totally been a ballpark changer in our relationship, because all of a sudden I'm dealing with, you know, someone who is willing to look in the mirror and say, Hey, I've got these things going on. I'm aware of them. And I also know that that's stuff happening in me. It's not your job to fix them, but you're my partner. So can, can I tell you what's going on and we can talk about it. And all of a sudden that's a different thing. Then I think what most of us guys do with. When a woman hasn't gotten to that point is it becomes very difficult to connect. Because instead we're just simply reacting and trying to calm. A volatile situation, you know, and we're not sure what's going, we don't know what's going on. We're just here. Like, we just want a good relationship. I don't know what this is, you know? And I was laughing because I, as I work with clients and I hear their relationship problems and I try to work through most of that, I, I, I try to remind them like you men in relationships, like once you have a woman and you're happy. You guys think everything is. Great 99% of the time. And so we, we bring up some shit. You guys in your world. Everything's fine. And your world, everything's fine. Because again, things aren't interconnected with you and, and what I'm hearing from you. And thank you for articulating that because it is. It is nice to hear the other side of it, where it feels so uncertain and unstable for you guys. Coming home to that coming or not knowing, or we say the wrong thing, like, oh shit. Yeah, thanks. My hit the fan out, you know, like what did I say wrong? Or. And feeling responsible. Yeah. And that's not a good feeling. Yeah for anyone. And I mean, I think a good comparison is a lot of people we've been in toxic relationships or relationships where we feel like we have to walk on actuals and that doesn't feel good. So ladies, if you're listening to this, try to relate to that, like when you're around a person or maybe it's not even a man it's maybe your mother or your, somebody in your life that makes you feel like, oh my gosh, if I say something wrong or. Something happens. I'm going to feel like I'm being attacked or I'm not doing the right thing. That is what we do when we are emotionally explosive and we call it the things and we get the opposite because all we want at that point, like, and I'm just sharing you, like I'm giving you behind the scenes of us is the times that I've been explosive like that in past relationships. And I've. Pushed my emotions onto them. All I wanted was connection. Yeah. Sure. I remember telling an ex partner being like, just hugging me. And he's like, fuck, I'm not. No, you're screaming at me, but just. I didn't understand why you wouldn't just do what I, you know, we want the connection and looking back now. I feel sorry for an old version of myself that wanted that connection. But I felt so out of control and overwhelmed with her emotions. Sure. And it's why I love the work that I do with women, because we are so powerful and as, as much. Uh, reaction as we can give and as explicit as we can be. And, you know, we can really make you guys fear. Then we're good. We can also use that power for good and create that relationship we want. And that dynamic that we want and the love that we want and the connection that we want. So think about that ladies. Like if we can use. Because we know, we know we can be manipulative. We talked about this women. We can manipulate anyone. Because we're good with words. We understand how people work. We know how to tug on the emotional, like heart. If we can do all these things, if we can use our powers for evil, we can use it for really good. And we can use it for even better to create that life that we truly want. But we have to break up with the idea that somebody else is going to come save us and help us process our emotions. Our emotions are ours. Well, and that's a game changer. Like, I mean, I can speak to that. And hopefully this helps someone out there just hearing from a guy, but I mean, like you changed. Like for me. I can instead my power instead of going to managing what chaos is happening. In my world. I'm actually able to look forward to the success of my world. And that world is our world together. So instead of you know, that energy going to just managing a day to just survive. Yeah, we're able to look to success for future. We're able to build our relationship. I mean, you know, I trust you implicitly because you come to the table commanding. Who you are. We're seeking. Together, you know, and I, and on my side, I'm seeking to command what I have to, and it doesn't mean like we're robots. We're able to come to the table with, with all the realities of your world and emotionally your world and myself the same in terms of what I deal with, but we're able to share with each other as. There's two adults really want the scent, you know, the same out of life and being authentic because we trust each other. And we built this trust that says, you know, I'm in charge of what's happening. Me personally. I'm in charge of my emotions too, even as a guy you command that role. So amazingly that it helps me to command it in myself better too. I love that. Yeah. And realize that that was something you were, you thought to and you felt as well. That's that's good. Yeah. Because we're the emotional leaders, right? And what I mean by that is not like we tell men how to feel and what to do. I don't mean lead men like that. When we lead ourselves, like TJ just said, and I command my own life. He just feels like, well, this is okay. I need this. And she's leading herself. I'm going to lead myself to, and I'm going to follow her lead, right? Where we follow your lead and everything else, you guys create the vision. You create the process, you work towards a solution towards things, and we follow the leads and everything else. Right. Because you guys are doers. You're workers. You're you have a vision. Um, where the emotional leaders that's like, I truly believe that's one of our big roles in a relationship. And then women, if they have kids, I think that's, that's what your kids are watching too. And what they're feeling, you know, I think a lot of women. They explode on kids and they're like, I'm so sick of it, but this is what you're teaching your kids to. And I'm not going to go deep into that. I'm not a mother, but yeah. They're watching how you're processing emotions. Yeah. You're working through emotions and. I think that's really important. How do you even start that process? As you said that, and you're like, we're not robots. I'm sure a lot of people who are listening are like, okay, well, how did you go from being explosive and crazy to sure. Being there now. And I'll give you the short version, because I'm sure I'll go into details with this. And other episodes, but for me, it's really an analysis and it, and it is almost like. I. Let me start off with saying this. I stopped. Looking or feeling my emotions. Like there were against me. And now I see it from a bird's eye view. So when I feel stressed, when I feel anxious, when I feel angry, I look at it from a bird's eye view. And then I'm like, well, what is she actually, what is she actually feeling? Right. So I go through analysis and analysis and I'm like, okay, did I sleep? I start off with like basic things. Maybe like literally like checking whether your body. My around my periods that I sleep and my hangry. Where am I physically first? Where am I mentally? I have a lot of shit going on. Do I have a lot of things what's causing my mental stress right now? Yeah. And then am I holding onto something? So. So I randomly feel angry about something. It didn't just come from that one incident. Right. There's something else that comes through. So I go through a little analysis. I'm like, beep beep. Okay. So if I can't find it, if it's like, okay, well I did sleep good, all these other things that doesn't make sense. And it's something deeper than I really take a moment and journal, sit with myself and analyze it. Doesn't always come to me. It doesn't come to me sometimes for days. And that's where I feel like you've caught me lately in this life transition sometimes because we live together now and I am a very emotional person and sometimes I just need a minute to just process. Yeah. And you've caught me in the sense of not knowing where I'm at with it. And it was really uncomfortable for me at the beginning because when we were apart, we were doing long distance. It was easier to just tell y'all. Today, this is what happened and I felt like this would look. Um, move past the now, or maybe I'm still in this feeling and I just don't know what it is and it's not like I'm always happy. I want to make that clear, like teacher doesn't come home and I'm like, oh, Hey. Like, here's your food. Here's a beer. Everything's perfect. Like that is not what happens in our household. I mean, I do greet him with beer when he has like a long day. Well, no, I'm human. We're both human and we both have stuff. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So wherever I'm at, I made sure he had feel it. I mean, he feels at the moment he walks in, so I try to make sure he knows. Hey, I'm just really stressed. Like work has been crazy today or. I'm really sad. Like I would just woke up sad or I had a weird those one day. I remember I had like a really intense dream with people from my past and I just woke up in such a funk. Yeah. I remember. And I told him, I was like, I just woke up and I was in a funk and I was even hesitant to tell him that it was about an X, because I felt like, oh, why am I even streaming about this? I was mad at myself for even dreaming about it. And he was like, okay, how can I support you? You know, I gave you that, no control over that. Right. You. Like again, I think you speak to emotions all the time. There is a, there's a lot of things that we don't have control over, but we have a choice in how we react to. Right, right, right. And it's really just having that self-awareness and how beautiful to give yourself that self awareness. I'd rather know myself deeply, and I know it can be scary because you're like, well, I don't even know what's in there. You know, I think for a lot of women, it's scary to understand ourselves deeply, but once we do, there's nothing that shakes us. Yeah. There isn't, there's not much like things could happen, but it's not going to like break me down completely, you know, it's just, okay. It just happened. How can I move through this? How can I processes? How can I work through it? Yeah. And I love that you've given me that space and that support, and I feel, I feel not judged by you. I think a lot of women, we feel maybe like, if I tell him what's going on, they're going to judge us. Right. You've always given me the space to feel safe and unjudged. Well, I think, and we talked about this, single life versus relationship life. You know, I mean, there's a lot of us out there who have, who spent some time in the single world. Um, some of those spent some time in the relationship where all that, as you look at both, I mean, There's times when, when you're looking for someone. What does it look like to find the right match? You know, the kind of person that would support you? I mean. That I can speak for the guys out there. The guys out there who are looking for a woman who has emotional, knowledge and awareness. those are the women that. R for a guy that wants to do something with his world, who is serious about building. Something that has future to it. There's a lot of guys. That would be riffraff guys, just like the girls who want to be emotional. Emotionally. reactive though, those two seem to go together, you know, and I think we've all been maybe. You know, I can speak from, I've been in relationships like that. There was so reactive manipulative, you know, you're, you're at the point where everyone's just kind of reacting to something else and it's not healthy, but for some reason you're staying in it and you're doing it. And it's not, you're not heading anywhere because you can't head anywhere. You've you stifled growth everywhere, you know? By how you're reacting to life. Now, the people who are, you know, to, to do a game-changer situation and go go the opposite, it takes some effort. But then at that point, like if you're having problems, dating or finding someone, like, I think I got sh you know, as I got serious with my own life, And decided what is the life I want? And what is the life I don't want. Maybe sometimes it's the question? What is it like you don't want that defines the life you do want, and then you start to decide, there are certain things I just don't want as part of my life. And if I see any inkling of that coming up, then I'm turning the other way. And then you start to really define your life and success and success in dreams and passion in the life you want to have is really right around the corner, because you're starting to make decisions that are headed you in a direction. One of the life that you want to live. Right. So, So, you know, when it comes to us, I mean, you being able to show up that way. Is is a total. Wow in my world because wow. I can build something with you. You're you're coming to the table and you're like, Hey, I don't, I know I'm, I'm seeking to be the best version of myself. If anything, it makes anyone that is even close to that. Like a guy like me wanting to also be the best version of myself and be like, well, I want to, yeah, that's the kind of life I want to. Right. It's it's mutual, right? Like. It feeds just like you were saying that enter the negative energies when you're in those toxic relationships, feed off each other and it's like this. Ball. It just keeps accumulating and it could be explosive. The St the opposite is true too. Like the, the goodness. Right. But you have to be intentional and every day is a choice. It's not like, oh, today I feel like doing it tomorrow. I don't feel like doing it that had consistency. Doesn't work. It doesn't work in relationships. It doesn't work in your life. It doesn't work in anything. It's a choice. And it doesn't mean that it's pretty all the time and it doesn't mean that it has to be perfect. Never never, never has to be perfect. Right? Like, and I think that's beautiful too. It's knowing to unperfect people coming together with a vision of what they want in their life. I think you made a good point. Like you have to go for somebody. That's going to give you the life you want. Not in the monetary sense or the physical stuff, or any of that ladies it's for us being emotional creatures, we need a man that can be appreciative of the emotional stability and the awareness and the growth and all of that. But we have to give that to ourselves first. In order to be a reflection of it, right. You have to be a merit, like anything. Outside of you is not going to come to you unless you can be a reflection of it. Right. It's like we're drying something on your face, looking in the mirror and be like, why is that drawing my face? I don't want it there. And trying to erase it on a mirror. Yeah, it's on you, right? Everything's a reflection. Yeah. So if you don't like parts of you, if you're not happy with parts of you, but you're looking and searching. I think we do that a lot. We search for it on other people, but we don't have it. Yeah. No cause we're like looking for it, right. And we don't, if we don't know ourselves, sometimes we'll go the opposite. And I know we both talked about we're both introverted and we're both like more calm. But we both have dated people on the opposite side where they weren't like that. And I think for me, it was a lot of, I was still finding myself, looking for who I was. So you date and you do things because they're like, oh, well that's fun. I've never been that fun. I mean, I realize that fun. It's not fun. But it wasn't really fun. So it's having that awareness it's and it's a process and having patience with yourself and then knowing like when things aren't working out when to pull the plug sometimes, so toxic relationships just need. Yeah, the plug needs to be pulled. Yeah, well, it's a lesson that. And we all, gosh, I mean, life is full of lessons, you know, and. They're all good lessons, unless we don't learn them and we have to learn them again. And most lessons come to us twice. You know, if we don't learn them the first time. So. Um, uh, man, our, our lives are, are, are greatest. Um, You know, Uh, teaching, you know, that we can go through and man, we are, we are the controllers of. Where we going? Would we come? You. You know, and to be able to do that. And just, just to think that you have the opportunity yet at beautiful things. But you have to be aware of choices. Along the way. And who you become, and man, what. What a great thing to look at. You know, who, who we can be and look in the mirror and say, who am I. And where do I want to be? You know, who do I want to be in that? Yeah. And then what do I want to be in this relationship? And how do I want to come? Like communicate. How do I want to converse? You know, there's been times. I mean, we haven't, we don't fight. Like, I wouldn't say we fight, we don't fight ugly. There's been times we've miscommunicated said something and the other one that I'm like, and I. It's been a very important thing for both of us say I statements, like I feel this, I feel that do we do that? Perfectly every single time. No. Because we're human, but again, the intention is there. So when we say, well, I didn't. Why did you say that? Or I'm not, I'm just using random examples now. Then we, we realize, and we're like, wait a minute. I wish I would've done like better. Can I. Can I try that again? Or I'm sorry. I said that that way. So the intention is there, right? So I want you guys to, and. Are you latest to understand that. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just the intention has to be there. But you have to be with somebody that's matching that attention. These are real with somebody that's constantly triggering you and there'll be a whole other episode. It's constantly bringing out the worst in you and you go into, okay. Well, I want to be a healthier partner. You, but you just, can't where you are, your soil. Isn't healthy. The person you're with isn't healthy. Yeah. And so that it's going to be harder. You know, both people have to be on the same page. Not pot. It may, may not be possible. Right. I mean there's. Yeah. There's not a lot of hope there. It needs to be an intention for both of us. Well, the Bible talks a lot about, you know, having so like the soil, you have your, either soil that grows. Great crops or your soil? That's that's that's a dry and desert. You know, and that, how do you know what you're trying to grow is something great. You have to pay attention to the soil. You're trying to grow it up. And how cool as a, as a metaphor or a parable to think about, you know, who you build a relationship with being the same thing. You got a pot, it's a relationship pot where you put you, you. You put two people in it, you know, and you want to grow some, you know, if you're going to get weeds out on one side and then you're trying to grow this beautiful tree out of the other. How are you going to, it's not possible, you know? Right. So being, being aware and growing together and making decisions on how we show up and in a relationship, I mean, you have beautifully set up the emotional awareness side of our relationship and I. Had I can't help myself, but to apply to and be part of it and to honor it and to be, you know, to show up. Even more so in all the ways I can at as your partner, because you have already shown up that way yourself and make me cook. I well, it's real though, but that's, that's what re that's the real life hit in the road. You know, that's the stuff that really makes a difference in you doing that changes. Tha. The trajectory of our whole relationship. And that's the importance that I think I know that you're trying to communicate. In what you're doing here, your passion project of this is to be able to show women that they can change the whole trajectory of what their dreams are, their passions, their, you know, if a relationship is what your passion is. That you can show up and be the guy, you know, the guide to how emotionally aware you are with your partner by, by showing them this. Yeah. How amazing. That was beautiful. You're making me cry as he's talking, I'm like tearing up because. I don't realize that you notice all this and that, you know, we talk about a lot of it, but I don't think I see your side of it. And I love that we're doing this episode because I can see how it's impacted you. And then. Again, ladies in return. What we get is that connection that love that attention. The way that TJ leads me in life, like. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally, and all the ways like everything we want from a man. He gives to me because I'm able to do this as well. So it's, it's literally one hand feeds the other, whatever that saying is, you know, I'm not good at saying, oh, But it all goes hand in hand. And we can cultivate that within ourselves and then every, or our whole world starts reflecting the same things in every area of life. And I think relationships are really important for women. Not that it's not important for men, but it's, we need that connection as women. And so relations, whether you're an entrepreneur, your businesses first, you have kids, whatever. We all want a healthy, good relationship with a partner. I think we all strive for that. Um, and so we. Give that to yourself. I would say always give that to yourself first. Give yourself the gift of emotional awareness of understanding yourself without judgment without guilt. And I'll get into that in other episodes. I promise. And then when you give that to your partner like today, you said, I mean, Everything you just said and how you can see how that helps you show up in the relationship and how it helps us grow together. Yeah, that's a beautiful thing. Yeah. And it helps you lead us. And all these other areas, right? It's such an important role and I'm surprised it's not out there more today. Yeah, to be honest in awareness. And, you know, as an encouragement to anyone listening. I mean, when, when it comes to like, you're not, I have heard it said like with kids, you're not given a teenager as a kid, You're given a baby, you start small. You've worked into grow. So you learn how to do that and you learn how to do to, you know, learn how to do five. You learn how to do eight. You know, in businesses, you learn how to take care of one customer. Before you have a hundred customers, you learn how to take care of a hundred customers before you have a thousand. All these things, the process alive God gives us. There's a momentum steps. You know, you take one step first and that's what is beautiful about what you're doing because you help with the first step. Help people like start to become aware of this. And how about, do you want something different than what you're dealing with you know, you first step that you can take, you don't have to worry about this step, this 10 down the line don't get so discouraged, know that there's a first step that had you in that direction of changing where these health things go. I love that perspective. Thank you for giving that because it's true. We, I think relationships, none of us have a book on any of it. Like you said, raising kids, starting a business. Sure. There's podcasts. There's mentors. Sure I can guide you and help you, but it all starts somewhere. And we all want to be because of social media. I feel like social media has put all this pressure on everyone that everyone thinks they have to be an entrepreneur. I'm a fitness model and super healthy in their relationships and be in a loving relationship and travel the world. Do you, first of all, do you even want those things? Or are they just shining objects? And then the things that you do want focus on those and then start like, stop it, stop comparing yourself and start small and start with step one. So, yeah. Yeah, that was perfect. Any. We'll end it with that. And thank you so much for coming on. And talking about emotions with me, and I appreciate you so much, and I love you so, so much. My fiance. Now, this is the first time you're out here as my fiance. Who would have thought I'd be talking about emotions. What a guy. The things I make them do. I pay him? I would have to give him another glass of wine. Payment is good. It's good. Now it's an honor and I'm, excited. To think that other people would experience. The reality of, what we know so far, and to have that hope and drive, you know, to create something, I mean, Yeah, there are women out there who are going to command amazing relationships. Just by doing some of the things you're talking about and that that's a beautiful thing to be aware of. Yes. And I'm here for all you ladies. They want help on this. I have my podcast and I, of course I have other ways to work with me. Everything's in the, in the show notes, but I appreciate you all for tuning in. And again, thank you, honey. And we'll be back soon. As we come to the close of this episode, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude and admiration for you. Taking the time to show up for yourself is an act of self love. And if this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might benefit. And also, if you love this episode, please rate and review us. When you do, screenshot your review and email it to us for a special gift. Our Rediscover Yourself Worksheet. This worksheet includes exercises to help you uncover your authentic self, and assess the areas of your life that are misaligned with the true you. Email it to info at maria fuentes dot net. Also stay connected with us on social media for updates and more inspiration. You can find all this information in the show notes. Again, thank you for being here and I cannot wait to continue this journey together.