Journey Over Destination: Why the Process Matters

What if I told you that there’s no such thing as failure, only perception? 

A beautiful journey is one full of twists and turns, and ups and downs. And in all the challenges and changes, it gets really easy to lose your motivation and develop a skewed, pessimistic perspective. But the truth is that looking at the glass as half empty doesn’t change what’s in the glass, it only changes your attitude and motivation towards your situation. So today I want to get you to a place where you maybe adjust your perspective, reset your motivation, and develop some resilience. 

I hope you enjoy this episode, as it’s the last one of the year! I hope you can change your own perception of your journey to understand that it is beautiful, and you are going somewhere amazing and meaningful. 

Quotes

"When I really sit down and think about what I’ve achieved that year, I think 'Wow, life is really full. Life is amazing.'" - Matthea Rentea MD

“I find everybody's so eager to make New Year's goals, which is good, but can we take a second to look back at this year and what big things happened?” - Matthea Rentea MD 

“There is no such thing as failure. Failure is relative. Failure is defined by you. And if you continue to get out there and try to figure it out, you're not failing.” - Matthea Rentea MD

“Whatever you’re going through and however hard it is, let it be just right however it’s happening. No one said that this road is going to be either easy or hard.” - Matthea Rentea MD

“I need those days that are too busy for me so I can see what I truly need and want long-term.” - Matthea Rentea MD

“If you're in the comfort zone, you can actually still achieve big things.” - Matthea Rentea MD

“I don't think that you need to have it all figured out at once.” - Matthea Rentea MD

“The person that is ultimately going to have the biggest success is flexible and they will adapt and they will learn.” - Matthea Rentea MD

Audio Stamps

01:10 - We learn about a family tradition of Dr. Rentea’s that allows her time for reflection and appreciation, which she recommends

02:50 - Dr. Rentea shares her biggest advice on persistence, even when motivation is running low

04:24 - Dr. Rentea helps us to reframe perceived success and failure, and gain perspective on our journeys

06:14 - We learn that perfection isn’t possible, but adaptation to different situations is what we need to keep going

09:02 - Dr. Rentea shares some of her personal journey building Rentea Metabolic Clinic

All of the information on this podcast is for general informational purposes only. Please talk to your physician and medical team about what is right for you. No medical advice is being on this podcast.

If you live in Indiana or Illinois and want to work with doctor Matthea Rentea, you can find out more on www.RenteaClinic.com

Transcript

0:29

Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. If you can believe it, this episode is airing the last week of the year. I cannot even believe how fast time flies. I just had a patient say to me the other day, and as you get older, it's going to go even faster. And I said, I believe you. So hopefully if you're listening to this the week that it's airing, you are having a great last week of the year. Maybe you're reflecting on this past year. Maybe you're thinking about next year. I want to go over today how to just not give up. What are some things that we could think about to just keep going no matter how hard the struggle, no matter how many things we're figuring out, no matter how defeated we feel, just some things to think about. But one thing that I want to, to, to go over first is something that I just want to share a little tradition that we did in my family growing up and I wonder if this is something that might really help you as well. So at the end of every year, we sit together and we Look at what we achieved that year. So we look at what are all the things that happened and it can be anything that relates to you, your family, maybe different business things that happened. So just anything. And what's always shocking to me is that if I sit there and don't really think about the whole year, I think, oh yeah, okay, a few things happened. And then when I really sit down and think about it, I start to think, Oh, I founded a clinic, and I did these different programs, and we moved, and my son went through these different things, and, you know, my husband, different things, and I start to think about it, and I think, Wow, life is full. Life is amazing. There's a lot happening, right? And I think kind of day to day, we're bogged down in our stress or different things that are happening. But one thing I want to encourage you, especially if you're someone that it's kind of hard to harvest the wins. It's kind of hard to see the things that are going right. Maybe you're in a season of life where you're struggling with a little bit of depression or some anxiety. I wonder if this last week of the year you might just sit down and look back at this past year. I find everybody's so eager to make those New Year's goals, which is fine, but can we take a second to look back at this year and what big things happened? What things did you go through? What did you accomplish? Just kind of take a look month to month and think about What happened? It's quite a powerful exercise to do that. So let's talk a little bit about never giving up. And I put this at the end of the year because I think sometimes, you know, if you had an amazing year where all the things happened that were great, amazing, quite often this ends up being a time of year when patients tell me a lot of things that they're struggling with, whether it be the holidays, family relationships, maybe they didn't lose as much weight as they wanted. You know, there's sometimes a time of contemplation and Number one, I want to throw out there that there is no such thing as failure. Failure is relative. Failure is defined by you. And if you continue to get out there and to try to figure it out, and you keep showing up at the table, you're not failing. So I would invite you to redefine what you keep considering failure. A lot of the time I see with patients that They're setting these unrealistic expectations and so what I call it is they're doing the math. So they sit down They're like, okay, it's June and I want to get on a medication and then that means by the end of the year I will have lost this much and this will happen and that will happen and What's interesting is even if they lose the weight then something else is the problem, right? Maybe then there's loose skin or there's other things that okay now that takes over and so they can't ever Really harvest the win of look at this weight that I've lost look at all these things that I'm doing differently I'm now eating all this protein and fiber and I'm moving and there's all these amazing things that they're doing But they're focused on something else and they still feel like a failure So I open you up to just look at Can I stop defining everything as a failure and really start to pick out the wins and what's happening and really look at how far? I've really come with everything. Okay thing number two that I want to throw out there is that It, no one said that this is, that this road is going to be either easy or hard. And so if you find yourself thinking this is too easy, like it should be harder, like I should have to struggle to get these results, it should, no one said that. No one said it couldn't be really easy. Also if you're on a hard road, no one said that it wouldn't be a little bit of work. So wherever you're, whatever you're going through, can it be? Just right how it's happening. I heard a great thing the other day. I'm part of a group coaching program right now. And she said, you know, right now exactly what you need. And I just, ah, that really hit me when she said it because I was sitting there thinking to myself. I a million percent know what I need. It was interesting. It was at the end of a period, sometimes I really make too many visits and I do too many things. And I know exactly how I would need to structure things just to feel a little bit better sometimes on those days. And just hearing that from her, I could think, yeah, I know exactly what I need. And actually nothing had gone wrong. I sometimes need these days to be too busy for me to see what I really truly need and want long term. It's like, I need. Those days to kind of break me to see what it is I actually want majority of the time and so nothing had gone wrong I know exactly what I need and it's not a problem that some days are hard because it really makes me Learn how I can make it easier. So no matter what flavor you're in, can that be okay? Can you learn from it? Do you want to stay on that road? Do you want to swap the easy road for the hard road? Or do you actually have you been on the easy road and you want to increase the intensity a little bit? You want to bring up some more growth opportunities for yourself. You want it to be a little bit harder. That is fine. You can step into that challenge zone. But you don't have to if you're in the comfort zone, you can actually still achieve big things. And this kind of brings me to point number three. I don't think that you need to have it all figured out at once. And this again, it's this fallacy. Everyone thinks, okay, I'm going to join this program, I'm going to do this thing and everything's going to be figured out right at once. And food's going to be in line and my thoughts are going to be in line and I'm going to love what I'm achieving. And there's just magical Disney. Like birds that are like swimming over me, it's not going to happen, right? So can we keep discovering what it is that you will need and what it will take? Can that be part of it? Can you really marry this journey of these are the things that I need to do to keep going? A lot of what's going to be required here is I don't need to have it all figured out. That's a thought that really works for me by the way. But along this line of I don't need to have it all figured out. Can I be more adaptable and flexible? And so part of this is that as humans we're really fixed in it's got to look this way, I've got to act this way, I've got to be this way, and that's what's going to be needed to achieve this goal. And then there's always something that pops up. And so the person that is ultimately going to have the biggest success, they will be flexible and they will adapt and they will learn. This is not comfortable for us as humans. We want things to be very formulaic. We can expect them. We know what's coming. We love that certainty. But you need flexibility and adaptability. to be able to really make it in a lot of these scenarios. So this goes down all the big things, for example, relationships, if we're struggling with relationships, the flexibility of, okay, what's their side? What's my side? I, you know, do I, do I want to be right or do I want to be in relationship with that person, right? Kind of figuring out what those middle grounds are, flexibility of if I'm going to an event, how can I realize it's okay if they don't have all the perfect food that I thought would be there, maybe I think they're not the best options, but I will make. The best choice at this moment, really being flexible and being open to it and taking a pause to figure out what those things are for you. So I just want to kind of wrap up here again, we're going to keep this a short and sweet episode. Part of not giving up is realizing that there is no such thing as failure. There is no time wasted. I don't care how long it takes you to get to your goal. You might have for five years been trying different things and now you finally found something that works. Guess what? You had to do all those things to find the last one that worked. Number two, it doesn't matter if the road is easy or hard or whatever it looks like. Maybe that's how it's meant to be at that moment. And can I work with that? Number three, can I be a little bit more adaptable? Can I flex a little bit more in the scenarios? Can I see what's required of me? I don't need to have it all figured out at once. I thought it was going to be a straight line from point A to point B. But I know that that's never the case, right? Have you ever looked at something big that you achieved and thought, Oh my gosh, that's how it happened. I want to, I want to give you an example with me building my clinic. That's been shocking. So in my mind, I think when I first started my clinic, I thought all my referrals were going to come from other physicians. So I thought that the clinics where I had worked with everyone and all those things, I thought that is where all my patients are going to come from. And that is some of the referrals that I get. And definitely there are physicians that send to me and things like that. However, More than that, though, are people that have found me on their own and they like the way in which I talk about things and they like the approach that I take. So they have sought me out. They have found the podcast or TikTok or other podcasts that I've been on. You know, not just my own, but other ones when I go on there. And they find me and they say, I like that approach. So I would have never predicted. The way in which I would have built my clinic and so if I had gone into it saying I'm only going to talk to other doctors for them to send me, I would have sat there and not grown as quickly or not been able to help as many people as I've helped this past year, but because I was open to you. Well, like the, you know, the main thought honestly that crossed my mind is I love podcasts. I love listening to podcasts. And so that is how I found the first person that I worked with in this sort of, weight loss help area. It was, years ago, you know, I've talked about this. I listened to her podcast and I said, I love her approach and that is how I found her and worked with her. And I thought, you know what? I would really love to. be that voice for others, even if they don't work with me, that they could hear some good information. And so think about if I had just stuck with the initial, well, I think it's going to come from other doctors referring to me, I might never have done any of this other stuff. And so I was willing to look at multiple different ways to make this happen. Same thing with your health. You often think that. Prior to people coming to work with me, they think the answer is reduce the calories down and exercise a bunch. And then I end up talking to them and I figure out that they're actually going through some really real life things. Maybe they're going through a divorce. Maybe their work is really stressful or they're encountering lots of new challenges or stresses through the roof. And so they're sitting here a tunnel vision on that. And guess what? Things aren't moving. And suddenly we say, alright, let's figure out how to bring more joy into your life. Let's figure out this. Let's figure out that. Let's work on your sleep. We start to work on all these different things and suddenly things are buzzing along. It had nothing to do with the calorie number at some point or the workouts that they were doing. They literally needed their stress to go down for their body to continue to release and to continue to go. So I want you to think about never giving up means I'm gonna pick new angles. I'm not ever gonna view anything as a failure again. Maybe this was necessary for me to get to the next stage. I'm not gonna be so married to the result. I'm gonna be married to the journey. Maybe a little twisting and turning is the best way that it happens. And I know I'm going way off base here, but you guys ever watch a romance? We don't like the story where it's super obvious. We like The meet cute. Oh my gosh, that was a random moment that they met. Oh my gosh, and then they go on this date and that thing happens and it's a little roundabout and we love it. We're into it. We're immersed, right? We attach to it. Let's attach a little bit more to the journey of what's happening here and not just the end result. The end result is fun for about two seconds. The rest of the time though, it's about have you liked what you're doing? Do you like what you're doing? Do you want to keep going? Do you actually get some joy out of what we're doing? Are we asking the right questions? All right, this episode went a little bit left field, but I'm going to bring it back to I want you to think about what it would take in your life for you to not ever give up on yourself. It might be about a health journey. A lot of us here were talking about managing our weight or managing blood sugar, things like that. Or could it even be in another area? Maybe you're building a business. Maybe you're learning how to communicate with your child better. Maybe you're working on a relationship. There's many different things that it could be. But what would it take for you to not ever give up on that and not view failure coming from it, be okay with whatever the road looks like, and not have to have figured all of it out to keep going and really enjoy the process. All right, I'm going to leave you there. I hope you all have a great rest of the year. And you'll catch me in the new year with a great episode, of course, talking a little bit about setting some goals and kind of thinking about the energy that you want to bring into the new year. I'm actually not a fan of setting, I'm going to give you a little preview of what's coming up. I'm actually not a big fan of setting these big New Year's goals. Like we know from research, no one sticks to that. But what people do stick with is if it is something that is identity based, meaning I want to be someone that's more calm, compassionate, that's caring. If there are things that you want to do that gets to the core identity of who you are, you're more likely to stick with those things. So I want to walk you through a process and we'll go through that next week. And it'll be right at the beginning of the year when it comes out. So it's perfect. And I want you to think about into the new year, what type of energy do I want to bring in? Not necessarily the end result, that end weight, things like that. But who do I want to become in the new year? Who do I want to, what do I want to have shine brighter? We're going to talk about some of that. All right. Hope you have a great rest of the year and I will talk to you first thing in the new year.