The Balance + Bliss Podcast

Episode 149: Embracing C.U.N.T.Y Energy with Naomi Mendes-Pouget

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What if I told you that taking that leap of faith and prioritizing yourself could be the first step to a life-transforming journey?  You KNOW it is!! As Naomi and I share our experiences and talk about our first impressions of each other, we dive into how making ourselves a priority has absolutely revolutionized our lives. Oh, and you can learn how to be super C.U.N.T.Y too!

Listen in as we candidly discuss the ups and downs of investing in yourself, reassuring you that creating the life you desire is worth every hurdle you may face. Tune in, it's time to take the reins of your life and step into your power.

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Speaker 1:

This show is brought to you by Female Alliance Media by.

Speaker 2:

Women for Women. Welcome to the Balance and Bliss Podcast. I'm your host, Andrea Mondu, a three-time published author, speaker and a lifestyle transformation coach who believes everyone should be given the gift of knowing how to live their lives, feeling healthy and empowered. Things like moving your body regularly and feeling it well, taking care of your mind, setting boundaries, practicing self and body, acceptance, personal growth, manifestation and everything in between. Wellness is not linear and it's not just one thing. It expands into so many areas and on this show we're going to talk about just that. We're all striving to live a little more healthy and a little more well, but what does that even mean? My goal is to help you see that you can move from the mundane to the magic when it comes to living aligned and fulfilled, and by tuning in each week you can be assured you'll leave with nuggets of wisdom that you can implement into your day to day, like right now, to help you maximize your health, wellness and your life. Now let's dive in.

Speaker 1:

Hey there, I'm Mary Angelica and host of Honestly Becoming your new favorite five minute podcast for driven entrepreneurs. Be ready for mic drops and breakthroughs that will help you embody your most authentic, successful and honest self. I know you're busy, which is why I get right to the point. I condense years of coaching, courses and certifications and give you the golden nuggets five minutes at a time. Get ready to become the best version of yourself.

Speaker 2:

That is just like yeah, it's, it's a fucking beautiful thing, and I mean not that I even have to justify this. I, I love my children, but I also love myself and I want this time for myself and I've put in the work to have this time for myself, so it's due. Yes, yes.

Speaker 3:

There is nothing more grateful than a parent and like and just the the, the way that we took it for granted before children. It's like you just get this whole new appreciation of personal space, personal time, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Like I was talking to a friend of mine who, uh, she had a baby four or five months ago and she was saying to me yesterday she's like so dad stayed at home with the baby and I went and did groceries.

Speaker 2:

And it was great and, like you, know the time, like the time to herself, to like wander around the aisles really slowly, like it really does remind you to look at like the simplities of life and like really lean in, lean into those moments. So, anyway, we're just going to jump in. I just hit record because that's just. I knew that we would have like juicy shit to say right off the bat.

Speaker 2:

And so I just hit record so that we could uh, we could get started. But hey, everybody, you just eavesdropped on a conversation that Naomi and I were having. But thanks for tuning in for another week to join us. Um, if you saw my stories a couple of weeks ago, I like hinted at this episode coming out. I knew that it was going to be gold, because so Naomi and I met, and I'll let you introduce yourself in a second. But Naomi and I met, um on the trip that I won to LA, um to go to this three day conference, life changing experience, and we told I feel like we definitely hit it off.

Speaker 2:

Um, I mean, obviously we've. We've stayed pretty closely connected since then. But, um, I just I, you know, I was thinking this morning about like the first time that I met you on that trip and I still remember the glasses with like the colorful, like glasses string. I loved those so much and your kick ass hair and I was just like this human is so like vibrant, and so like owning the space that they are in and yeah, it was just it was really cool.

Speaker 2:

And then hanging out by the pool after and yeah, like you basically were, just we were attached uh our little group from then until the end of the of the trip Um and then we got tattoos together.

Speaker 3:

Oh my gosh Okay.

Speaker 1:

Let's not forget that part.

Speaker 2:

Let's not forget that. So I am like, uh, I you know this, but I am, I'm telling everybody who's listening I am, uh, I like to get tattoos to like commemorate things, really, really big experiences, Um, and I have never gotten a tattoo.

Speaker 3:

I know, I know, I know.

Speaker 2:

The crazy part about it. Like anyway, it's just so crazy. So you know I had planned on getting one. I, you know, I'd said to Mary, angelica and Rochelle I'm like, listen, when we're there, like the last day I'm going to go get a tattoo. And they're like, yeah, we'll, we'll come with you, you and I meet the day of the tattoo plans. We went to Santa Monica pier and then you said you would like also come to the tattoo shop and then you were like, oh, maybe I'll get one too. Fun story, funny, fun fact. I actually like, when we, when you said you were doing that, I was like, oh, she like probably like me, just likes to get tattoos for like fun things. It was your first one, it was your first one and you just were like, yeah, I'll come in and like get, maybe look at getting inked with you. And it was just really cool to be a part of that experience with you.

Speaker 3:

I'll take my ink virginity, no problem. Oh my God.

Speaker 2:

Oh, is it like how's it looking Amazing.

Speaker 3:

I look at it all the time and it just I got an airplane. For whoever doesn't doesn't know I've got an airplane. Again, it was kind of in relation to the trip. It's just that reminder that sometimes we have to get on the plane, buy the ticket to the thing, even if we don't have everything figured out, even if we don't know every single last detail or every single outcome that we're gonna get from the thing. If we just feel it in our soul or in our heart that like I need to be there, I want to be there, just fucking do it, get the ticket, get on the plane and magic will unfold.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was such a magical like experience to have together and it was so fitting, because you're like looking, you're like, what am I gonna get? What am I gonna get? And I was getting my sparkle tattoo and then you were just like, oh my gosh, this is what. And I was like, oh my gosh, that's so good. Anyway, why don't you introduce yourself, like give us the the pitch of like I mean, there's so many things we do all the time, but who are you?

Speaker 3:

Who are you and why are you on my podcast? I am Naomi, pronouns she and they. I am CEO, founder and head coach at newly founded Kante Coaching Limitaba, because I registered it here in Portugal, where I'm now living with my family, whom I love very much. I have an almost four year old and a loving partner and I. Moving here has been one of the best things I've ever done. Embarking on the entrepreneur journey has been one of the best things I've ever done, all of which come with their own unique challenges and whirlwinds, but so so incredibly worth it. And then the amazing people I've met along the way, like yourself, andrea, and so many others, just fuels me, and I created this Kante movement, this Kante acronym A, to reclaim that word right, because it's a, it's a, it's a vulgar word. Yeah, it's historically a very vulgar word.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I mean like okay, yes, but also I'm learning that historically, historically, it wasn't In a lot of cultures, it actually and this is no surprise, right, Because like the patriarchy and what supremacy just fucks everything up, it wasn't always a vulgar word.

Speaker 3:

It became one, it became a weapon, so it's time to reclaim that. But also I wanted to dive deeper into into it, like what are the characteristics of a you know woman that is being called a Kante? What is this energy? What is it? Because I know there's something really powerful there, something powerful enough to make a swear word out of it, to like to use it right.

Speaker 2:

To have somebody to like, label, people that like oh you, you deserve this term. Well, why? And why is it a bad thing?

Speaker 3:

Yes, and then I dug deeper and I realized that most of the time, women who are labeled as Kants are actually just like standing in their power and holding strong boundaries and like just in their power. It's like a positive thing, it's a good thing, but people have put something this term on them to like take them out of that or disempower them or something. And so I went on to kind of deconstruct that a little bit further and investigate that further and I created this, the acronym for Kante, which really is like a guiding star for me and how I want to live my life, like in that power, in the, in my truth, and how I want others to live in their truth and their power as well.

Speaker 2:

I think that this is like one of the things that I love about you. I have really been realizing that I have like small talk conversations with people, right, you see people that like you haven't seen in a long time. You're like, hey, how's it going? Like what you've been up to, how's your, how's your thing, how have things been? Oh, I've been busy, oh cool.

Speaker 2:

Like I have those conversations and they almost make me feel a little bit awkward because I love the deep shit, like I love having real raw, like powerful conversations about life, about society, about the stories that we've been told.

Speaker 2:

And I think that, like I'm realizing, not everybody is really comfortable with having those types of conversations because, going back to the stories, we've been conditioned for so long that it's like, when you have those conversations, those people are like the feather rufflers, those people are like the ones that you have to watch out for because they're not falling into line. And so, going back to what I was saying, like I I really appreciated that about you, like right from the get, go like first day, like just, and I think that it was also like that atmosphere was created in that space so it really facilitated and gave like comfortability of having those conversations, but some people can lean into that and some people can't and, like as a group, I think we like leaned all the way in and, of course, as like a podcast host, I love having the really great conversation, so I'm like.

Speaker 2:

You know, we're sitting around, all of us are eating burgers. That night, though, I didn't think you had burger.

Speaker 3:

You didn't have a burger, right, you did not have a burger. I, in my true Portuguese nature, had fish.

Speaker 2:

But like it was, like we're you know I'm talking about like you need to come, need to. I would love for you to come and and have some of these conversations with other people who are listening, because that's how, like these movements, that's how these like changes start to happen, is like people giving information or dropping nuggets of like hey, this is how things have been for a really long time. Does it have to continue to be that way or can we? Can we start to do things a little bit differently? How did you even like start on this movement that you're creating? Like, what made you decide like this is the work that I'm doing?

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's such a great question and I actually wonder that myself sometimes. Like how did I just one day think of think to dig deeper into this word cunt and deeper into this, create this acronym like who does that on a rainy afternoon? Like?

Speaker 1:

just.

Speaker 3:

I don't know me. Apparently I think it's been inspired by the incredible people. Just to come back to that, like the incredible people I've been around and women that are like, reclaiming their power, putting themselves in positions of power, growing businesses, growing families, not taking any shit exactly what you're talking about. Like the people who want more and who are open and like and deciding to have more in their lives and not take the shit that they've just been handed and given right. So maybe it started with that. Maybe it started with starting to surround myself with the right people, the right energy, which was cunt energy.

Speaker 3:

I just didn't know it at the time and I didn't know that that's what I was doing in my own life. I have been like I didn't have a really a word for it, you know, but I've been on this journey of like. So the I'll say the acronym for people just to clarify this as we go forward through the podcast and through my story. So c is for courageous, u is for unapologetic, n is for notable, t is for transcendent and y is for you authentically. So who are you authentically? So I realized that I've actually been on this journey more so like since I became a parent and that's why, for a while, I was focusing on working with parents, because I really wanted to help parents tap into this energy for themselves. I've since pivoted to expand that and work with entrepreneurs, content creators, artists, parents anyone who wants like to tap into this energy in their life and like let go of some serious barriers and like some serious shit. So I think that's where it started, honestly.

Speaker 2:

Well and I think that this is a pretty common thread for people who have children and become parents is it's like you're almost forced to reevaluate everything that you have learned and everything about like the society that you're living in and all of these things about, like the stories that you I mean I know this is really true for me and again in the work that I do around like breaking down that diet, culture and like all the body shit that we've been handed.

Speaker 2:

I watched your reel the other day, by the way, about like we actually learned to hate our bodies before we learned to love our bodies, which I was like fuck, like it's true, it's so true. And so it's just like I think when you become a parent, you're like, okay, how did I grow up, what did I think and feel and understand about the world, and what do I want my child to think and feel and understand about the world? And then that dictates one how you show up as a parent then, but also how you live your life.

Speaker 2:

And thank you for breaking down the acronym also, because people are like cuntie, what but, when you break it down that way, it really makes a lot of sense, because in order to cut through that shit, you have to show up in those sorts of ways. So if somebody is listening, oh sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 3:

No, I was just gonna say like I love that courage is the first letter and the first word and I think, like I'm just so glad that that's what unfolded, naturally, because I think courage underlines everything else. Like to be all of those other things in a world that wasn't set up for us takes a lot of courage and it's really powerful. And, like you're saying, in the parenthood journey, yeah, it does take a lot of courage to do that inner work, that inner thought that you just described, and then to actually live it and to lead by example. That was one of the biggest things, and I don't know if you relate to this, but I have a daughter, you have two daughters, right until they tell us otherwise, right, and so there's so much that we know that society is going to try and do to them that we have this choice about what are we going to do for them.

Speaker 1:

What are?

Speaker 3:

we going to show them, not just what are we going to tell them. What are we going to show them by our own actions. And that really, really pushed me forward on this journey.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I mean.

Speaker 2:

the reality is too is that we are simply, unfortunately, one influence in the world that they are going to grow up in, so we can try our best and say all the things and do all the things and be all the things, and there will still be a lot of that stuff that exists on the outside and I think that this is also something that's even applicable to working with clients and anybody who's trying to create a change Like we can facilitate the creation of the change, but there's a lot on the exterior that's not going to change just because we are, and so how can we show up in that world then?

Speaker 2:

And it's almost like, how can we put the blinders on or be like OK, I was talking yesterday about protecting your energy, and how can we protect our own energy in knowing that all of this stuff is happening and it may happen to us in these conversations may happen, or these comments may be made, or these situations may unfold that we're a part of. But what we have control over is how we show up in those situations and then how we allow that situation to affect us, how far it can penetrate us, like in our soul. Or are we just like boop, like you know, I'm rubber and you're glue right. Whatever you say to me bounces off of me and sticks on to you, like that? That really is like. There's a lot of truth in that statement, actually.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think that has been such an interesting thing to explore and figure out for myself, because I am someone who has always seen myself as very empathetic and also sensitive, so I always have felt things on a very deep level. So this has been very pertinent oh my gosh for me, and I think again I'm going to bring it back to the people that we surround ourselves with Like not only do they help galvanize us so that in those moments where we're faced with something difficult, we feel like maybe we're not alone, we can kind of feel them in the background. I don't know if you've ever had that experience, but it just helps to not feel so alone when you know you have really strong, supportive individuals that have your back.

Speaker 3:

And then you know, I also have a handful of role models in my head when I'm going through things that I can kind of ask what would they do in this situation? So that's another incredible tool. And then you can always go back to the squad after the fact and help, and they can help you not let it sink so deep as well, and they can really help reflect what they really truly see of you and what you know about yourself and not let outside bullshit penetrate.

Speaker 2:

I feel like this conversation is so like divinely aligned, because so I'm working on my second solo book right now and I was just doing some writing recently and I was literally just writing about a time in my life where I had to show up in like a certain way and I felt really uncomfortable.

Speaker 2:

Ok, so I had to do like networking with like random people and that has not always been a skill of mine where it's like, oh, I feel really nervous, like I was saying we small talk conversations, and so in those moments I was fortunate enough to have some really good friends, one in particular that I would show up in those situations and go, ok, what would so and so do in this room?

Speaker 2:

And what that did was that gave me the courage to show up in a way that I wanted to show up but that I didn't quite feel that I could yet. Because I think this is the trap that a lot of people fall into is it's like you see people showing up or doing the thing or living their lives in a way, and you're like, oh, that looks awesome, but like I can't do that, like that's not something that I could do, and it's like we live our lives as like the present people that we are, and we don't allow ourselves to be the future selves that we want to be. But that's what you have to do, right? It's like you have to. It's almost like you're you're acting as that until you're becoming that Right.

Speaker 3:

You're, you're pre connecting to it. You're, you're trying to foster a connection with like that, that higher, true yourself, that country, self Right. And here's the beautiful thing is that when we can do that we can, we have the, the the possibility to become that role model, that person for someone else, when we live in our truth, so that it's like it has this ripple effect.

Speaker 3:

It has this really powerful ripple effect where, when we're showing up in our truth, we have the power to, to, to inspire others and to help them tap into something that they really need.

Speaker 2:

OK, so then can you like walk us through I don't know, maybe if we want to pick like a situation I mean, this is probably an exercise you might do with clients, whether there's like a situation, somebody's in a situation or somebody's living a current way right now, but they would like to show up more country in their lives or in that situation. How does somebody like start to do that if they're at ground zero?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, the way that I, it's a process, right, and that's going to be the unsexy answer, because I know that someone's like give me a journal prompt so that I can be my country as self today. It is a process and we're we're always being told like, life is about the process, right, the journey is the, the, the thing that we need to, to honor, and so this is a very much a an example of that, because it's little, teeny, tiny shifts that happen that when you look back, it's like whoa, I'm, I am, I'm way more my true self than I was, you know, four months ago, a year ago, etc. But the way that I, the process that I take folks on, is, I start with acknowledging because we can't, we can't fuck with things that we don't know about. Ok, we need to know what we're carrying before we can, like let go of it, right and and just put it aside. So that's the first thing.

Speaker 3:

The second thing is activation like figuring out who your people are, activating that squad, right. Figuring out what is pleasurable for you activating that. Figuring out what clothing makes you, like feel more powerful in yourself activating that, right. So that moment we do a lot of work about how to step into that a little bit more. But you can't do that before you've acknowledged what's going on in the background. And then the last piece is accountability, because, being your country itself, it takes constant I don't know if effort is the right word, but, just like care, just takes constant care to nourish ourselves, to choose what's right for us, because if we're growing, then we're always gonna need to tap into courage, right? There's always gonna be a situation that needs our courage. There's always gonna be a situation that's gonna demand for us to not to be unapologetic, to do something notable, right? So the accountability stage is like how can we make sure that you're on a growth path if that's what you wanna do? Right, and the people that I work with, they want to be on a growth path right.

Speaker 3:

It's something that a lot of us really find a lot of pleasure and joy in. So I'd say that's the short answer, if you will.

Speaker 2:

I love that it.

Speaker 2:

You're very right when you say that the biggest piece and maybe like the most well, I wouldn't say it's the most challenging, but one of the vital pieces is simply just that acknowledgement, because if you do and that's really hard to look at yourself and be like what isn't working, what isn't serving me well, and again we've been conditioned to like just kind of go through the motions and not challenge the status quo and this is like this is how we are, this is how things are, and not really like.

Speaker 2:

Also, the other thing that's coming into my mind right now is it's also been like perceived as like vain. If we're gonna spend this much time on ourselves, this much time on doing the work for me and investing in me and that is also a really, really big barrier for people to get past is I couldn't. I can't spend X amount of dollars to spend six months focusing on just myself. I have all these other things that I need to be doing and like we don't prioritize ourselves enough. So it feels like very foolish for people and it's hard for people to get over.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and that's by design too right, like there's always. I find that there's always something more beneath the surface to dig into. There. It is by design that we've been taught that it's vain and that it's selfish, and there's so many words for it because it keeps us from our truth. Like and that has been used as a tool and like. Another thing, too, is just our collective exhaustion with everything going on in the world. Sometimes we know that there are things we can change, we know that there are things holding us back, and sometimes we just don't feel empowered to like, decide to do that work. It's a lot, it is work.

Speaker 3:

It is like it's some effort to like, dig into these things and to dig into your truth and to let it out. And it's not all rainbows and sunshine. It can be scary, it can be, it can cost money. There's so many different things right, so many barriers, like you said.

Speaker 2:

But listen, we are, you are, if you are listening to this, you are 150,000 million trillion worth investing in, and you know everybody deserves to live the life that they want. And the truth is, is that you have to create that for yourself, right, you have to create that for yourself and it's a process. You know, I think about myself going into the fall. Like I have been spending years, years, creating the life that I'm going to have come September. Well, that I have right now, really, and you know it hasn't come without its challenges.

Speaker 2:

I was reflecting on this while I was away on vacation. Like I have been told no so many times in conversations that I've had, in potential opportunities, in potential clients, in like so many different spaces. You know I've been told no a lot and yet I have still continued to persevere because I have this end goal and like it takes a fucking lot out of you to continuously show up for yourself and to pick yourself back up off the ground, but I can tell you that it is so worth it when you get closer and closer and finally land in the place of like, oh, this is what I've been working on and for since 2018. It's fucking 2023 now.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

This is what I have been working on since 2018. Five years, five years later, I have arrived and you know it's maybe not even the full like, but you know it's. You get there and you have these milestones and that's why you know the accountability is so important too, because it's like you have to hold yourself accountable, which is a really big component of it, but also you can create spaces and connections and relationships with people that will also hold you accountable and when they know, like, they will hold your dream for you, Like you are very much a dream holder.

Speaker 2:

Or you're constantly checking in like hey, how are you doing, are you? This is where you wanna be? Like you ask those really like deep questions and almost like not challenging in a bad way, but like okay, but is that the way that it has to be? Or like this is what you want? So what can you do to like get yourself there? Those people are so powerful I'm thinking about when we were out for ramen and you're like asking about, you know, like household duties and yeah, all those, you know, all those expectations.

Speaker 2:

Like all right bitches how are we gonna get empowered and get our? Work out there and like get cared for, yeah, but I just love it because it really does make such a difference for people, and we haven't even touched on this yet, but you are going to be in book three, which is so book three of body bliss, obviously for everybody listening. How are you feeling about that?

Speaker 3:

Okay, I'm going to answer that, but first can we all just appreciate, take a minute to appreciate the biggest permission slip you just gave so many people.

Speaker 3:

Like I just need to say that, that everything you just shared about it was so honest about yes, it's challenging, but it's so incredibly worth it. I think so many people who are listening felt some relief or something unlocked within them that said I can do this, it's going to be worth it. Even if it's hard, I can do it. I have some tools. She's saying get the squad. She's doing like I think that was so incredibly beautiful. So before we move on, I just need to say that.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for saying that. You know I'm so I I'm so bad at like just glazing over the things that I say and just being like, oh yeah, like I hear what other people say and I'm like, oh, that was so good. But I don't often think that the stuff that I say is good. So thank you for doing that Again, Naomi.

Speaker 3:

Ladies and gentlemen, Well, I mean, I think you're just fostering such a beautiful conversation of beautiful space here on your podcast, so it needs to be said. Um, yeah, book three, oh, my God, I I'm so excited this is something that is such a big part of me is going to be sharing this story about my body hair journey more, and I've already started doing that. Um, that's one of the things that I literally decided when I gave birth to my daughter. I was like that, like I was talking about earlier. It's like, oh crap, like I need to actually live and act in accordance with my beliefs and I want her to feel free to be herself and not have to change her body. Um, and, like I heard, I learned that the hard way.

Speaker 3:

It's been a journey, but I can't wait to talk about that in the book because I don't see, like any people who present as feminine, like I am I'm genderqueer, but I'm a genderqueer woman. I present in the world more on like the feminine side of things, right, kind of not not not so much, but like more so in that area, and I never see anyone that looks like me, that has and embraces their body hair. It's like my whole life. That's like 30, almost 30 years. I just don't see it. So I think that means that there's still so much work to do, so much conversation to be had about our bodies and what we're allowed to do with them right and we should be allowed to do, without getting side eyes and and comments and criticisms and questions and then like weird people that are on the internet who have those fetishes.

Speaker 3:

Like it's just so great. It's crazy out here, it's crazy.

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah, I'm, I'm super, I'm like already thinking as you're talking. I'm like I can't wait to read, to read the chapter. It's going to be so great. Listen, if you have just eaten up every single word that Naomi has spoken today, tell everybody where they can find you and follow along on all your staff.

Speaker 3:

I had this urge to go. Nom nom nom. Yes, you can find me on Instagram at Naomi underscore authentically. I'm also in the process of creating my country coaching website, so that's country coachingcom. Again, it's in the works and I would love to connect with you, even just to hear your takeaways from the podcast, your the things that you just loved hearing, the things that maybe struck chord or just made you think. I would love if you connected with me and just shared that. That would be so fabulous I loved. I would love to know who is listening to this amazing podcast.

Speaker 2:

That is one thing about. Like podcasting is like we have these incredible conversations and then we put them out and like you never you really like, unless somebody messages you and says, hey, I took this away from it. Like you never really know the impact that the conversations are having. So, yeah, share with us all of your takeaways. Thank you for being just such an incredible light in the world and also like a great human in my life. I'm just like so grateful. I can't wait for you to be here in September so that we can see each other and, yeah, everybody, go, go and follow along. And thank you for joining me this week. I just adore you.

Speaker 3:

Thank you so much, andrea. The feeling is so mutual, and I'm so grateful for you too. This has been such a good year, I know it has been All right.

Speaker 2:

Everybody will catch you next week, take care. Thanks so much for being here. I hope you're leaving with a full heart, some inspiration, or you're feeling the kick in the butt you felt like you needed. If you really enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend or let me know Rates, reviews, subscribing and sharing are all great ways to support the show, and if you want to stay in touch, follow me over on Instagram at thebalancebless. Thanks for listening today and stay well.

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