Harnessing Resilience: A Conversation with Transformational Coach Mother Pearl

As we approach the complex tapestry of healing, Mother Pearl and I underscore the importance of embracing a holistic view of wellness. You'll discover how a multifaceted strategy—encompassing mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing—can amplify our capacity for empathy and love. In the realm of personal growth, we affirm that true progress is made when we recognize the interplay of all aspects of our being. By the end of our conversation, you'll be left contemplating the profound legacy of love and the undeniable impact it has when we prioritize a balanced, empathetic approach to our lives and relationships.

 As an Entrepreneur and Business Owner, Mother Pearl Justice is 'The Relationship Oracle'.  She offers Personal Growth Coaching for individuals, Relationship Coaching for Couples and Executive Coaching for Corporate Executive's. Mother Pearl is also a Visionary Artist, Motivational Storyteller and a Writer. She is a Spiritual Consultant & Medium and is Spiritually Ordained as a Minister. She is a professionally trained Energy & Healing Practitioner offering remote healing sessions for comforting help with grief, relaxation and stress relief, and mental & emotional assistance with managing the thoughts and feelings of self doubt, anxiety and fear that build up in the mind and body. Mother Pearl Justice has had a lifetime of studying human behavior, including her own. She is intuitively gifted, authentic, has a warmth about her that’s genuine, safe and trusting. Because she listens deeply to her clients, her clients often say that she is able to offer a deeper understanding into what they are going through which is incredibly insightful. This makes her an extraordinary Coach! She has 45 years experience of working with people to help them grow. From being a Banker, a professional Trainer for a California based Personal Growth & Professional Development seminar company and a Independent Contractor on a team of consultants who provided corporate trainings, she evolved and developed her own transformational Coaching Practice. Her expertise is in helping her clients find ways to **overcome adversity, **increase communication and respect, **learn to give & receive love, **dismantle the fear offailure, **heal from low self esteem and lack of self worth, **and expose the myths associated with imposter syndrome. She currently lives in Phoenix, Arizona. Find her on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/mother-pearl-justice-3134281ab

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey Fortifiers, thank you so much for listening to I Feel you, a Fortify Wellness production. We are into season five, where we sit down with trailblazing women in their industry to chat about overcoming adversity, moments of fortitude and, of course, anxiety. This information is not to be misconstrued as medical or psychological advice. Please contact your medical team if you have concerns pertaining to your overall well-being. I'm your host, bettina Mahoney, the founder and CEO of Fortify Wellness, and I am so honored to welcome onto our podcast today Mother Pearl, who is the relationship oracle. She offers personal growth coaching for individuals, relationship coaching for couples and executive coaching for corporate executives. She is a visionary artist, motivational storyteller and a writer. She is a professionally trained energy and healing practitioner, offering remote healing sessions for comforting health with grief, relaxation and stress relief, and mental and emotional assistance with managing the thoughts and feelings of self-doubt, anxiety and fear that build up in the mind and body.

Speaker 1: 1:18

Mother Pearl Justice has had a lifetime of studying human behavior, including her own. She's intuitively gifted, authentic and has a warmth about her that's genuine, safe and trusting. She has 45 years experience of working with people to help them grow from being a banker and a professional trainer for a California-based personal growth and professional development seminar company and an independent contractor. With a team of consultants who provided corporate trainings, she evolved and developed her own transformational coaching practice. Her expertise is in helping her clients find ways to overcome adversity, increase communication and respect, learn to give and receive love. Increase communication and respect. Learn to give and receive love. Dismantle the fear of failure, heal from low self-esteem and lack of self-worth, and expose the myths associated with imposter syndrome. I am so honored to welcome Mother Pearl. Hello, mother Pearl, thank you so much for coming on to the podcast today.

Speaker 2: 2:25

Thank you for having me, Bettina.

Speaker 1: 2:28

It's going to be so much fun. I'm sick and it's really hot where you are, so we're just going to keep saying the show must go on, you know. So you know, it's like five, six, seven, eight, let's go, you know thank you. But I'm really curious because of course you have like so many incredible titles. I'm curious when you take all of those titles away, who are you?

Speaker 2: 2:58

Oh, gosh, I am a fun kid, I I, what a fun kid. I I. What a question I. I'm just playful and happy and I, I here. Here's the, the scenario that crosses my mind. All I want to do is be on the playground playing with the other kids, you know, going on the Ferris wheel or the thing that spins in the park, playing in the clay, the dirt, laughing with other kids. When you remove all the title, I'm just friendly, you know, engaging. I love touching people's lives. I always have you know just simple, very simple person.

Speaker 1: 3:55

A very unique answer. We've been getting a lot like the word curious. I'm a very curious person, which is very interesting, yeah, but a lot of people that love to sort of like experience the world around them and ask a lot of important questions. But I really want to start off with your name, because I love your name. It's so unique, mother Pearl. I'd love for you to share the story of how that name came to be for you.

Speaker 2: 4:25

You know it's a pretty big story, but I'll try and make it shorter. I have always known that I was going to change my name. I can recall, through all of my teens and my early 20s and 30s, I was always looking in a book to find my name. And it wasn't that I was upset with my original name, with my family, it's that I just knew that I had another name and that I really wanted to name myself, had another name and that I really wanted to name myself.

Speaker 2: 5:04

So through all the years, I decided that what I wanted was a name that really reflected my heart, my energy, and that energy is, or that that that essence is mother of pearl, and I've been collecting mother of pearl jewelry and rings and everything that represents so much of how I see myself as multifaceted, multi-talented. So the more I thought about the pearl and Mother of Pearl, it got shortened to Mother Pearl and it just felt so right for me. So through my career, I actually used that name as my business name, the DBA and in 2019, I actually went and changed my name. I had an epiphany in 2002 where I was sitting on my couch meditating and suddenly my whole room lights up and I actually thought I was dead.

Speaker 2: 6:20

My body was glued to the couch that I was sitting in and I just saw all these light beams step in these. You know just family members. It was just the most incredible. I thought I had died and in chorus they all went Mother Pearl. And I'm like, oh my God, it was like an acknowledgement from heaven that I was duly named Mother Pearl. And then I added the justice, because my energy, what I've always wanted to do, is to help people and myself make a correction in how we see ourselves and how we think of ourselves, and that's actually my work. I work very diligently to assist people in correcting their perception about themselves and about the world. And so Mother Pearl, justice.

Speaker 1: 7:23

I love that story. It's interesting and it's really beautiful, so thank you for sharing that today.

Speaker 2: 7:29

You're welcome.

Speaker 1: 7:31

I think it's really interesting. I love having really like nitty gritty conversations about adversity. I had a university in my life that pivoted me into creating a platform to help people. I survived a rape and it changed my life in a lot of ways, and I think everyone has adversity. It's not always as severe or traumatic as a rape and I'm curious for you what adversity have you overcome in your life that sort of pivoted you into who you are today?

Speaker 2: 8:05

That's so that last part, where that pivoted me into who I am today, really helps me identify, because my whole life has been filled with adversity. There's just no way that you that well. I say this and not speaking for everyone, but being a black woman, being a woman creates adversary. Being a black woman creates adversary. Growing up where I grew up in South Central LA, I mean there's just it's just been a really hard life, but it definitely makes me who I am. But I had an experience of how can I describe this?

Speaker 2: 8:58

The first time that I found out that there was something wrong with the color of my skin is what kicked me into making a commitment and a vow that I was going to do something about the way people see black skin.

Speaker 2: 9:23

I never understood it until, of course, I got older and I studied and things of that nature. But I used to sit in my neighborhood on the front porch and look out at all the people going, you know, walking back and forth, doing their activities and stuff, and I've always concentrated on how people treat each other and it would actually hurt my heart to see people being cruel to each other, to see people treating animals cruelly. I found out that that's because I'm an empath. I feel other people's emotions and things. I feel other people's emotions and things, but I can distinctly remember saying out loud on that porch that day that when I grow up I'm going to do something about the way people treat each other. And so that is what you know. When I think about adversary, it always involves another person. It's always at the end of some activity where people are treating each other a particular way that makes my heart sad or really hurts me that they are doing that to each other. So I hope that made sense.

Speaker 1: 10:46

Yes, and how did that realization pivot you into this mindset of having empathy and wanting to bridge that gap for other people through the work that you do?

Speaker 2: 10:59

Um, I think that that is a natural occurrence. I came in this way and I really have looked at this before. I can watch myself. I can look at my pictures when I was a kid even. I have watched myself respond to people with my whole heart, with my whole essence, and I have always wanted people to know that they are, that I see them, that I feel them, that they're not alone in anything that they do, and that there's always a way out or a way through. And I've always it's my radar and through all of my life I mean from volunteering, being a Girl Scout, working with the Red Cross, I mean I had all these very unique experiences that I had that actually helped me define the fact that I'm like a natural coach or a natural consultant, kind of almost see myself as an adversary, not an adversary, excuse me, an ambassador for love or an ambassador for connection, an ambassador for how we treat each other, and that's pretty much been my work.

Speaker 1: 12:41

Interesting and did you always feel seen, even as a child, from the people around you and your?

Speaker 2: 12:46

family. No, I was the oldest of five. You know, when you got five kids back to back, number one, I was not seen and I'm sure that my parents would disagree with that. Right, but that's how I. No, it was really. It's like another way of saying I didn't get enough attention. But the truth about it is I was a strong kid, I didn't need a lot of attention and I'm sure that my parents appreciated that. I was thinking about this interview last night and I recall my father taught me how to box. He took me out into the backyard because we lived in a really rough neighborhood. He took me out into the backyard, put gloves on me because he was a fighter and showed me how to throw punches and protect myself. Because I was the oldest. I had younger brothers, but it was my job to take care of my brothers and sisters and make sure that everybody got home safely every day, and I took that job very seriously Extreme. So now I'm lost. Where are we going?

Speaker 1: 14:16

What was I saying About feeling seen as a child, and you had mentioned that. You know, know, you were the oldest of five and didn't feel that way yeah, I just know I didn't get enough attention.

Speaker 2: 14:24

I, I, that's, um, it's something. It what a, what a question, what an acknowledgement. Because I had such a big energy and I had so many questions and there were so many things that I didn't understand and really no one to really talk to about it, and I was very shy Because I didn't really fit in with the other kids. I was kind of an oddball. I felt like an oddball.

Speaker 2: 14:56

Me too, but I went to Catholic school and when I was in the sixth grade I was under I was I had one of the nuns. The principal of the school pay a lot of attention to me because she noticed a special quality about me. Not that I'm special, but she just noticed how detail-oriented I was and how curious I was about the church and lighting candles and the hymns that you sing and all that. Long story short. I decided I wanted to be a nun and I was.

Speaker 2: 15:48

I studied, I wrote to every convent in the United States and around the world. They wrote back, sent me all their material and I had made my decision which convent I was going to go into. And, of course, by the time I got to the ninth grade, my life had changed so much that becoming a nun was no longer an option, but at the core of it. I'll never forget that teacher. She's the one that really helped me see that this quality that I have about me has merit and that it really is a quality of my soul. She helped me with that greatly.

Speaker 1: 16:40

It's beautiful when we can feel seen for other people, and sometimes that's what we need, and I find it interesting the work that you do, helping other people feel seen. Yes, it's fascinating to me, and you were in the banking world, which is so different than what, and I'm curious what was that transition like? There must have been? Were you lacking in that, in something that you're like I need to make that transition into this type of work?

Speaker 2: 17:23

to this type of work. Yeah, banking was rough, because I started as a bank teller and actually moved up the ranks and ended up as a assistant vice president of operations and all I can really tell you is that, dealing with that corporate sector, I realized the person that I would have to become in order to even move up further up the ranks and I made a decision. I didn't want to do it. It would totally change, I would totally lose myself, because there were things going on behind closed doors that I absolutely didn't agree with.

Speaker 2: 18:03

And again, this radar that I have about how people treat each other and what they do to each other, that thing is, it's mighty, it is very strong. So I'm picking up every kind of nook and cranny and I'm like, no, just, we can't do this. So that's how I got attracted to the seminar business, because this was a group of people that it originally was a seminar company for people that worked in Hollywood, for people that worked in Hollywood. It was actually designed for people to get training in their presentation, and so at that time it was fun, but the underbelly of it was a group of people that had really decided that they were going to make a difference in the world that they were going to really employees. They're better in their companies at work, they're better at home, but that spillover effect would help change the world and that is what really pulled me in, because I already had that quality in my soul. So you know I didn't get that in banking.

Speaker 1: 19:43

I can imagine, I can imagine.

Speaker 2: 19:47

I tried because I was really good at customer service. I got a lot of acknowledgement for being customer service oriented my way. And again, it's natural because I really care about people. I see people, I want them to know that I see them, I listen intently, I want them to know that I hear them. So that's customer service. So you know, coming on through the ranks, but as far as making a difference, there was nothing in banking. There was no way to make a difference in banking, not that way.

Speaker 1: 20:22

So that's what propelled me forward yes, and I think you know, because I'm I'm preparing to do guest talks, and authentically coming as yourself can be very intimidating, can be very hard, yeah, and I've been forced to do a lot of healing work of myself in order to authentically say this is what I'm building and here's why I'm building it. I think that's pretty much come from a place of you know, I'm working on myself, I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I'm able to address things that are very hard and it can be very brave and also very emotional, can be very challenging, and what I've noticed across the board with you know high performing people, people that are executives, and you know name brands, household name brands.

Speaker 2: 21:14

they have certain qualities about them.

Speaker 1: 21:16

and I'm'm curious for you, you know, because I think if people hear about adversities they can go wow, if she can do it, I can do it too. But I'm curious for you and the clients that you work with with your coaching what are some like common traits that you notice about them as they, you know, experience adversity, overcome adversity that kind of make them into high performing people? Do you notice any like common denominators?

Speaker 2: 21:45

Yes, self-determination, self-determination, it's antinacity. It's actually the strongest people that I've worked with have severe issues with authority figures, because they are one, and so that quality of self-determination. What I'm really saying is no one can tell me that I can't do what I want to do, and that is prevalent. It's like I'm gonna do what I I want to do, I'm gonna go where I'm gonna. No one's going to tell me I can't do it. So help me be a better communicator, help me learn to get along with people, how to resolve conflict, so that I can keep moving, because I'm surely going to bump into people and, um, um, make them upset with my drive.

Speaker 1: 23:06

It's very interesting to me to kind of know where the drive comes from, and a lot of times it's like your inner child going. But I wasn't enough. Make me feel like I was enough. And that's kind of how I was in the very beginning, of like I have to prove I'm enough. Maybe if I create this thing, then I'll be good enough, and I think that's the case for a lot of people that are high performance very successful.

Speaker 1: 23:31

I need the next thing, the next thing it's like what? This just be enough, you know. And what's that? Equal balance.

Speaker 2: 23:39

Yep, it's like you know, it's chronic, the I'm not good enough and it it permeates everything. It's almost like a disease and I've watched that. I've had to heal that in myself. And let me tell you, when I say heal that in myself, I don't want to misrepresent the fact that it still goes on. It's just that I get to manage it better every single day. It's not being good enough. There's the good news about it, because it does propel you forward, but there's a really downside to it and it's like you never feel any satisfaction and you're constantly driving yourself until one day you just burn out. And so that has been some of my work also. I've been, I have burned out. I've been through that twice and it was. I can say that what spurred that on was that inner drive of not being good enough.

Speaker 2: 24:49

So we got to do better, got to keep going, got to do twice as much, got to keep up. And now I really know that there is no such thing as being better. I mean, there is, but what I'm speaking to is enough is enough. I am enough, I am there, I am the best that I can be being me, and I continue to grow. I continue to pull back the layers to see what else there is to me, because I am multifaceted, I'm multi-talented, I have my heart and my brain and my focus into a lot of different things, but it seems like always at the heart of it is my interaction with people.

Speaker 2: 25:49

I think that we are amazing. I am enamored with the human spirit. I just I am so in love with human beings. It is. I just think we're incredible. You've seen people and how they are with their pets and they just they're oh, their pets are everything. They're buddies, it's like they're companions and you look at them and you just marvel at how wonderful they're treating their pets and then they turn around and they're awful to human beings. Some people not everybody, please but I've always been so curious about that, because I'm so enamored with people.

Speaker 1: 26:41

That how I see people with their pets is how I am with human beings, I agree, and I feel like the healing journey. Everyone thinks it's a, it's like a destination, but I think it's a continuous journey and movement and you know, healing doesn't necessarily have like a date, a due date in which it's going to happen, and I and I very much am highly motivated by hitting certain milestones. That's my personality, um, but I also take time to go wow, I accomplished that. That's great, giving myself a lot of grace that I probably wouldn't before, because you can't really pour from an empty cup. You know, doesn't feel great, stress doesn't feel great, and I think there's a lot of power in listening to your body. Like that's something that I take yes.

Speaker 1: 27:32

I'm doing it. What is my body telling me? My body, I am sick, right now.

Speaker 1: 27:37

Body's telling me to calm down. You know, like you got to chill out a little bit, you got to. You know, go to bed early, you know. But I think that's why, for me, in creating a platform after surviving a trauma, it was really important to me that, like I created like a 360 approach, because I think for me, I love diving into multiple things and I and I learned that multiple mediums helped me on my healing journey. You and I have talked about before you're not a therapist, you're a coach. Sometimes you need both and sometimes you need to move your body and or go to the gym or walk around. You know, I think it's important for people to get that full approach because it can make people feel well-rounded and also hit certain parts of ourselves that are necessary in order to start the healing journey.

Speaker 2: 28:31

Yeah, yeah, I agree wholeheartedly. Journey yeah yeah, I agree wholeheartedly. I've watched, I've seen enough of people gravitating towards one modality you know for of healing, or one modality of life experience and and not having the benefit of the others. You know, an example is and I don't know if this is a good example, but I know some people that are great at meditation I mean phenomenal at meditation and they have phenomenal results.

Speaker 2: 29:13

And then I go to lunch with them or dinner with them and this is just an example on something I'm making up to explain this I go to lunch or dinner with them and their ability to communicate and connect sucks, and it that kind of keyed me into the fact that you know, yes, that meditation is just one aspect of it. You must come over and do your personal growth work. You know that all that they go hand in hand. So your your idea of a 360 approach. I completely agree with that, because we are multifaceted, because there are so many aspects of us and everything is connected, and so, if you have an opportunity to I didn't have that opportunity when I was your age, but now you're making this available and the fact that it is available to people is going to be a great benefit, because that is the truth, we are not just one thing. So it helps with the mental healing, the emotional healing, the physical healing and the spiritual healing. They're all connected.

Speaker 1: 30:33

Healing and the spiritual healing. They're all connected. I see so oftentimes we look at someone from just a mental perspective or a physical perspective and we are ignoring so much. People are so multifaceted and so doing a lot of this work has made me very much even more of an empath for people, because I know that people are healing and people are struggling at their core and sometimes it's projection, and so at the core we have to lead with love and empathy to help people on their own journeys towards something that's very?

Speaker 2: 31:08

Yes, it is.

Speaker 1: 31:10

As we close, I always close with like this question, because I'm very curious. Everyone gives me different answer and one word what do you want your legacy to be left behind as?

Speaker 2: 31:21

love.

Speaker 1: 31:23

I love that. Thank you so much for this conversation today. Thank you, it was Thank you. It was especially being sick no-transcript.