Let That Shift Go
How Incompetent am I?
When Lena and I caught ourselves drifting away in conversation, we knew it was more than just a lapse in attention—it was a sign we needed to explore the deeper aspects of conscious awareness. Our latest heart-to-heart on the podcast peels back the layers of presence and engagement in relationships, scrutinizing the signals we unconsciously emit, and how they can make or break the connections we hold dear. We don't just chat; we embark on a deep dive into Peter Crone's Four Stages of Evolving and reflect on the life-changing magic of asking ourselves the tough questions.
Ever wondered about the patterns that trip you up without you even noticing? That's the quagmire of unconscious incompetence we unravel, sharing our own tales of awakening to the habits that were silently navigating our lives. We converse about the power of vulnerability and the necessity of embracing our flaws to step into the light of conscious incompetence, where growth sprouts from the seeds of self-recognition and humility. Lena's insights, paired with our personal stories, aim to guide you through the fog of denial and into the clarity that comes with acknowledging our challenges.
We wrap things up on a note of emotional liberation, taking cues from Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements" and highlighting the art of not taking things personally. Our discussion is a mosaic of accountability, healing through Ho'oponopono, and the cultivation of an 'unfuckwithable' spirit in the face of life's curveballs. By the time you reach the end of our conversation, armed with the mantra "When you know better, you do better," we hope you'll feel equipped to tackle your own journey of personal evolution with renewed vigor and an open heart.
When Lena and I caught ourselves drifting away in conversation, we knew it was more than just a lapse in attention—it was a sign we needed to explore the deeper aspects of conscious awareness. Our latest heart-to-heart on the podcast peels back the layers of presence and engagement in relationships, scrutinizing the signals we unconsciously emit, and how they can make or break the connections we hold dear. We don't just chat; we embark on a deep dive into Peter Crone's Four Stages of Evolving and reflect on the life-changing magic of asking ourselves the tough questions.
Ever wondered about the patterns that trip you up without you even noticing? That's the quagmire of unconscious incompetence we unravel, sharing our own tales of awakening to the habits that were silently navigating our lives. We converse about the power of vulnerability and the necessity of embracing our flaws to step into the light of conscious incompetence, where growth sprouts from the seeds of self-recognition and humility. Lena's insights, paired with our personal stories, aim to guide you through the fog of denial and into the clarity that comes with acknowledging our challenges.
We wrap things up on a note of emotional liberation, taking cues from Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements" and highlighting the art of not taking things personally. Our discussion is a mosaic of accountability, healing through Ho'oponopono, and the cultivation of an 'unfuckwithable' spirit in the face of life's curveballs. By the time you reach the end of our conversation, armed with the mantra "When you know better, you do better," we hope you'll feel equipped to tackle your own journey of personal evolution with renewed vigor and an open heart.
Hello and welcome to the Let that Shift Go podcast. I'm Noel.
Speaker 2:And I'm Lena.
Speaker 1:And this is where we talk about the good, the bad and all the shifting between we just talk mad shift, let's get into it and on this week's episode. How incompetent am I?
Speaker 2:The question we should ask ourselves in all areas of our life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, but first let's get into these skin deep cards. I'll go first, all right, and I'll ask you a question. See if we can get a little vulnerable Fun. My question is how do you know when I'm truly present with you?
Speaker 2:You know, there's a there's a lot of ways, and I think one of the things is like we've become very in tune with each other.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you, I can literally feel it and sometimes I can't explain it, but I can feel it and I can feel, almost like I can feel, the lack of even if you're talking or if you're doing something. I can tell when you're not completely there and when you are. I think that part of it is in your body language and how you're engaging, how clear your eyes are and how you're making eye contact with me. You know that I can feel like when you're, part of your mind is somewhere else, thinking about something else or trying to protect something.
Speaker 1:But how do you know on the phone? Because you do that with me on the phone sometimes.
Speaker 2:I can hear it in your voice. There's a pause. There's also a lift in your voice and the tone that I can hear when you're there, when you're not thinking about something else.
Speaker 1:You know I had a question because this brings up something for me. I wonder. It seems like more recently, more people are able to tell where I'm at, and I don't know if it's because I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve or if I'm just more open with how I'm feeling. But even today I was in my supply house picking up supplies and the guys were like, hmm, one of those days. And I was like, oh shoot, how did they know?
Speaker 1:Like I felt like I checked myself before I did myself check if I walked in that door and I was like you know, took a breath and I went in and they were like, hmm, can I help you? And I was like, yeah, and they're like, oh, one of those days looks like it was a rough day for you. And I was like, really, you could tell. So when you say that this question kind of ties in, I just wonder how somebody who doesn't even I mean, I guess they know me because they see me on a weekly basis but Well, a lot of times you'll just be able to tell when you're with someone consistently, when something's changed or shifted.
Speaker 2:If you're paying attention, if you're just kind of like unconsciously going about, you know the interaction, then you may not notice it because you're probably just so focused on what you feel that you're not noticing the other person. But I think that I don't know for me with you, I know like the certain, it's like a frequency, you know it's, I know like where you're operating and then I can tell when something's different and then that's when I'll go what's going on Because something's different. But if I have to break it down, it's probably in the tone, tone of your voice and how you're staying with me in the conversation. You're staying with me with eye contact and you know all of that. So I don't know. I don't think it's that hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just wonder how people do it, because I think with my friend Abigail, we used to do like when she was going through treatments. I had this thing where do I call her? Pretty often, and then I would just jokingly like it sounds like your battery is around 70%, and she'd be like yeah, it is, you know. Or I'd be like, oh, you sound about 90 today, and she's like I am, and it was just. I really it was just the voice, because I talked to her so often so I just wondered if it was kind of the same thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's because you know we're, we're together often enough and I we talk often enough that I can tell when there's something different. I don't always know what it is, sometimes I do, but yeah, yeah, I can tell.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so what's your question?
Speaker 2:My question is what do I do that makes you feel I understand you?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's pretty similar, I guess. I mean, you just listen really well. Obviously, I don't know there's something that you do. It just feels like you're present with me, You're very present with me and you're listening, and you just have such great advice and get me to ask questions of myself. So that was the one that was interesting. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know the asking questions is just so you come to your own answers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everything I need was in within me, so you just need to. You're trying to cultivate the observer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and me telling you what I think about what your experience is is really kind of can be invalidating.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's more important that you realize whatever it is that you're going through and then maybe I can learn something about that. But sometimes I think I already know, but I don't. I want to ask the question to open it up, you know? Yeah, yeah, that's fun.
Speaker 1:All right, so let's get into this topic.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's what. I love, I love it yeah.
Speaker 1:How incompetent am I? And this was brought about by the Four Stages of Evolving by Peter Crone. Yeah. And so how did this? This is a book that you read and brought to our attention, and what do you think about like, how does this Four Stages kind of affect you?
Speaker 2:Well, actually I watched something with him. He's somebody I do follow, Peter Crone. Oh yeah, the Mind Architect yeah. I met him at Fit for Service at one of the talks and he's fascinating.
Speaker 2:He just has a way of really kind of deconstructing whatever's going on with someone really quickly and it's just really an architecture of the mind, right. And so in one of the things he posted recently he was talking about the Four Stages of Evolution, the consciousness, and I'm like okay. So I listened to it and I was like this is on point and it literally, you know you can trace back your own healing journey Like anybody who's on the healing path is there's probably you're probably in one of these Four Stages. And even when I'm working one on one of the clients, I was like, yeah, that's exactly what we do, is we go from one you know stage and evolve it to the next one and then to the next one and the next one, and it's all just kind of building your level of awareness which is something we talk about all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So for me it was one of those ooh ah, ah, yes. Yeah, this is important, yeah, and this is. I thought it was an important topic to bring to the attention of our listeners because it has to do with shifts you know, moving through our big shifts and there are Four Stages, so the first one is unconsciously incompetent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I read, when I was reading through these, I was like, wow, just like you said, I was pinpointing, like it was almost like I was going back. I was like I was going back in a Facebook timeline and like this time you were here and I was, you know, flipping through pictures in my head. I'm like oh gosh, I totally remember this, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think of it like if I have a picture in my mind, it's a. Most of us we're just kind of bumping into everything in life. We're constantly moving into reaction, we're constantly trying to like self-soothe with something outside of ourselves whether it's, you know, binging on Netflix or having a bottle of wine. It's like, oh my gosh, I don't even know what's wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The other thing is something's wrong. I don't know what it is, I just go off and I have no idea how to make it better, so I'm just going to continue to bump into everything you know. Destroy my relationships. I hate my job, whatever Self-sabotage yeah. Self-sabotage so, and I think it's where the majority of us live. Yeah, I mean, if you look around, this is.
Speaker 1:I was there for a long time, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's it really. The description is like this lack of awareness of your own limitations and your own shortcomings. Right so you're unaware of what you don't even understand. You don't know what you don't know. You don't know what you don't understand.
Speaker 1:Very limited self-awareness. Yes.
Speaker 2:Very limited and that can lead to a sense of, like this, complacency or just ignorance you know, but we don't think of it as ignorance while we're there. No, you don't think of it as ignorance until you move into the next stage, and then you're like, wow, I was ignorant of my own behavior. I had no humility on how I was affecting others. And one of the examples is like somebody who believes they're a great communicator right, but they consistently interrupt everybody.
Speaker 1:That's me, without realizing it, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like I was in the middle of a story and then you just popped right in like well, I'm a great communicator. Look at me communicating. It's like that's not actually. It's like you have a lack of of your own understanding of your ineffective communication.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I always felt like I was pretty articulate and I can speak my mind and stuff, but that truly doesn't mean you're a good communicator. I really learned, you know, when I was reading this I was like, yeah, I thought I was so smart and I can talk and get across my points, and over over explain is really what it was, and that's because of my own ego and my own incompetency.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you're like why doesn't anybody like want to talk to me, or why do people leave the comment, like you just been? You're like I don't know Right. So that's this unconscious incompetence, and there's also this resistance to feedback or criticism.
Speaker 1:How? So what do you mean?
Speaker 2:like if I were to say you know why do you keep in from interrupting me? You're like what do you mean? I'm just trying to get my point across. It's like okay, you don't. There's not even a willingness to be like is there something wrong? Mm-hmm, you know is isn't me, so that's part of that.
Speaker 1:That's lacking the intentional listening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's just one way that we walk around in Unconscious but why do people do that?
Speaker 1:I mean I, I feel they don't know well, I feel. I feel like for me in those cases I was trying to over explain and get my point across and be heard. Okay, I wanted to be heard.
Speaker 2:Let's say it's not just in conversation, let's say it's in anything. Mm-hmm okay you're just.
Speaker 2:You just don't know that there's a reason why you're doing it. How in your life do you have you felt unheard and unseen? Yeah, okay, so it doesn't. It's not just in communication. It could be in anything Could be. Why do I keep choosing this type of partner, mm-hmm? Why do I choose someone that will push me away? Hmm, well, because you know, maybe when I was younger, this is how I felt, like this was a normal pattern of a relationship. So, there's.
Speaker 2:There's this comfort in the discomfort, and we are just trying to be right about things that we don't even know we're trying to be right about.
Speaker 1:That's where the that's the bumping into stuff bumping into stuff.
Speaker 2:I don't, yeah, like you're literally like I don't know why I keep doing this and we fall into attachment style traps.
Speaker 2:Yes because we're chasing you all and all that, but until we become aware a little bit more of like whoa, this isn't working for me, and why you kind of just, you kind of just stay in that unconscious Incompetence and you just look for ways to self-sude that are probably not beneficial to you, you know, or you keep ending up in the same situations. So this is a part where you're like a really good thing would be to start noticing the patterns. What are the patterns that keep happening? What are the stories I keep telling myself?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm and how does that look in my? How does that, you know, kind of translate into my daily life, whether it's in your conversations, whether it's in your relationships, your reactivity, all of that? So that unconscious and competence is, you don't even know what you don't know, yeah, okay. So what I love is okay. That's usually okay. What does that end up? Death, diagnosis, divorce. Mm-hmm right and then we wake up, hopefully, hopefully, one of the three D's yeah hit. Those are the catalysts for change.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm and so that would move you, hopefully, in closer into the next stage, which is Consciously incompetent right doesn't sound very different.
Speaker 1:I mean, all the words are very similar. Yeah. Consciously incompetent. So what is what is consciously incompetent? What stage is that?
Speaker 2:so this is the realization of your own limitation, your own lack of skills, maybe mm-hmm, and it's where the person becomes aware of what they don't know or they don't understand.
Speaker 1:I feel like that point is. I and for me specifically, I reached that in therapy when we started I don't know for lack of a better word than to diagnose some of the issues that I had explosive tendencies, yeah, personalities and stuff like that, and I was like what does that mean? Yeah and I started to really look at what that meant. Yeah, I was like mmm, yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:That's what's good about it, and even the way you're describing that is that it did. It led to a sense of humility, probably, and a desire to learn and improve. So this is where you're consciously incompetent, meaning you realize there's something that can be improved, right like you realize that there's our, there are patterns and that patterns even exist. Yeah so you realize maybe something about codependence.
Speaker 2:Yeah you realize something about how you're soothing in a way that's really not benefiting you and what it's costing you. You realize, like, like you said, there are like people give diagnosis for these things. Yeah or things that are happening, so hopefully that leads to this willingness to be able to learn something about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah right.
Speaker 2:So you're aware that there are some things that you need to look at and but you don't know what to do about it yet, like you're actually at a point where, yeah, I get that there's something that I need to change. I'm not sure how to do that yet, but so in this stage, hopefully it's led you to this humility and this wanting this opening, to want to learn more about what are some of the tools that you can use right to get out of this.
Speaker 1:I feel like I was stuck in that stage for a long time because I, just as you were talking, I was thinking that you know, at therapy I was diagnosed or I had something to point at.
Speaker 1:It was like when you have a name for something, at least now you have something to look towards and work on but, you know, 10 years before that, I was going to Alenon meetings and I felt like that was kind of the stage where I was. I knew something was wrong and I was trying to find something, but I was still stuck in victimhood. I think I was still like it's everybody else, it's everybody else, and I was figuring things out, but never with really the focus that I needed to change.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So even like I remember when you told me about going to an Alenon meeting and you're like I'm not, I'm not gonna talk. I mean. I'll go with you right your friend and then, while you're sitting there, you're like, oh, perhaps there's something. That's the shift.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was something.
Speaker 2:That's, the shift from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence. I know there's something I have a name for it and this is going to lead me to some questions that I can find some tools to be able to work through it or to do it better, to do it in a way that's going to actually benefit me, benefit my relationships, all of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah and so, but it took to make me to actual shift. It was actually the diagnosis, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, being able to see the thing. Yeah, because when you don't know, you don't even know what you don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, when I say victimhood because it was, I think during that time I was really internally I wasn't voicing it outwardly all the things that were happening and had happened to me and feeling really like, oh, a lot of shame, and really just living in that victim. Yeah. So I think that just hearing you talk was like oh man, why did I stay so long in that consciously incompetent Well, until there's a reason for you to have to change. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:That's what it is. We don't become complacent or we don't. It's like the frog in the water that's boiling. You're like I don't even know that it's boiling until it gets so hot. So that's where up. Perhaps. Maybe I should start asking some questions Now that I have a name for something. Then that gives you kind of like a signpost to start looking.
Speaker 2:So it's not a bad place to be, it's a better place to be is consciously incompetent, because until you learn some tools or some ways or some information that can help you move from that, that's where you're at. But I don't think people I think people stay less in unconscious incompetence than unconscious incompetence. I think they don't hang out as long in consciously incompetent because there's a willingness, hopefully, and a humility, yeah, and then from there you can move into consciously competent. So I like this phase. I think that when I work with people one-on-one, I love moving them into this consciously competent place. Usually, like when I'm seeing people, it's usually when they've become consciously incompetent, right, because they ain't even seeking any, they're not looking for breathwork.
Speaker 1:They're not looking for. Oh they're unconsciously incompetent. Yeah.
Speaker 2:They don't even know that that's a thing that they would want to do, so usually people are seeking help during their consciously incompetent phase.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So the fun part is moving people from consciously incompetent to consciously competent. Okay, and so in this stage, this is where you've developed some skills or knowledge through conscious effort.
Speaker 1:Yeah, got some modalities that you're using tools.
Speaker 2:Conscious effort and practice and getting tasks that you can use effectively and you can use regularly. So this is where it does require some concentration. It requires effort. So how that translates if you're in that stage is like you've learned for example, you've learned breathwork. You're like, okay, I know that when I get triggered or when I'm upset or I can feel that I'm dysregulated, that I have some ways to bring myself back into a regulated state, right, whether that's through breath whether that's through meditation, whether that's I need to go out and just be in nature.
Speaker 2:I need to get into nature, I need to disconnect from all of this noise. Whether it's things like that or just some tools like we've talked about in the past, like the RAIN method, it's recognizing, allowing, inquiring and nurturing. It's like all of these little things are tools. Okay, Right, so once you have some things in your tool belt, then you can start to pull them out.
Speaker 1:Right as things happen.
Speaker 2:As things happen. Now that you're consciously aware that there are things that are going to happen, once they do, you're like which tool do I reach for this?
Speaker 2:You know, you wouldn't bring, you wouldn't like go try to fix your car with, you know, a butter knife, yeah, so you're like, okay, I feel triggered. This is what's happening. I know that I can use this method to kind of work through that. Once you start doing it, you build this confidence because you realize like, yeah, that works. Whether it's the emotional freedom technique, tapping, there's just a number of ways that you can kind of hack your nervous system in order to bring yourself into a regulated state. And all of this, really a lot of it just leads to becoming becoming like, adept at being able to re-regulate yourself. Yeah, you know. So using these tools. That's that conscious competence. All right, I know something's up. I know that I've been repeating this pattern. How do I break it? How do I repattern it? So you start to do that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:On a more regular basis, which is really beautiful, and a lot of times people do kind of go back and forth, right, yeah, they oscillate back and forth? Yeah, you oscillate, and pretty soon you oscillate less into conscious incompetence and conscious competence. So you will still spend time in the incompetent phase, because you'll find yourself ah dang it, I did it again. I reacted that way again, I interrupted again. You know, whatever it is, but this time you can self-correct.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, pretty quickly I notice when I do it now.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, before you didn't notice it, you just do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, either that or somebody would tell me. Yeah. But now, as I'm having a conversation, sometimes I'll say something preemptively without letting it just flow. Yeah, and I thought why did I do that? Yeah. Because I needed to let it flow. But I'm able to, you know, correct that within myself and just notice that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but yeah, in this stage it's like it takes thought and it takes effort, you know, and you falter and you pick yourself back, you forgive yourself and you're like, yeah, I can do it better.
Speaker 1:And I will.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, and it's normal to just kind of oscillate back and forth, you know, and the more you spend time in the conscious competent state, and that part of your evolution it's building new habits, it's forming new patterns. Yeah, you know, and my favorite stage which I don't think, I think that I spend some time there is the unconscious competence, which sounds kind of silly you know, unconscious competence. But that phase is where you it becomes more natural.
Speaker 1:It's like your subconscious brain, your monkey brain, automatically does the things that are healthy.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm interpreting. Yeah, like, is that what it means?
Speaker 2:It's become. It's become like the tools and the knowledge of being become deeply ingrained.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like if you're on a football field and you're practicing this certain route. If you're a wide receiver and you just keep doing it, it just becomes second nature. You turn around the balls there, kind of thing. It's yeah you, you just do things, yeah, Without even trying.
Speaker 2:Well, think about when you started to learn how to drive Mm-hmm Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a skill.
Speaker 2:It's a skill and so at first you're like, oh, I gotta check this, I gotta check that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What is that person gonna do? Are they gonna, are they gonna stop at the red light, or do I have to, and pretty soon? You know, and you're thinking about every step. Mm-hmm. Right, even in nursing. I think about when I became a nurse. Yeah. And the first part of giving medications.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I was like nobody talk to me. Okay, Don't speak to me when I'm pulling up medications.
Speaker 1:You gotta be hyper focused.
Speaker 2:I have to be hyper focused. I need to like look at the vial, I need to tap it. I need to like pull up this and I need to, and I had to think about every single step that I was doing because it's a new skill. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Right, whatever it was that I was learning, and then, pretty soon you know, I won. I still didn't want people talk to me if I'm pulling at meds, but that's actually a skill too, mm-hmm. But I didn't have to overthink it and my nervous system was regulated in doing it.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:It became natural.
Speaker 1:Why don't we think of these natural things? You know, like this competency, as an exercise? Like you said, doing the medication pull, that was a process you had to practice, but I don't naturally think that I need to practice consciousness, consciousness, you know, I mean now I do yeah. But previously it wasn't like something like oh, this has got to be something, that's got to be repetitive, like I read somewhere like 54 times is how many times you need to do something in a row in order to create a routine type of thing.
Speaker 2:Like to build muscle memory.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to build that memory where it becomes like part of your routine and gets ingrained in you and starts to you have to do it for 54 days. Yeah, I was like mm. Dang, that's a long time, you know, to develop that competency in that. Yeah, for it to become consciously competent.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So you think about like 54 days is nothing in the span of your life of creating, you know, better relationships, you know, or a regulated nervous system or any of those things I mean. Now I know when, with people like I, almost get excited when there is something that triggers them because it's like, ooh, you get another opportunity to practice this skill in real time. Like you know, thanksgiving you probably get there 54 opportunities to practice becoming the observer, you know, or just checking how your breath is regulated. Are you breathing through you know, like all these little things. But it becomes like a skill that you want to practice, you know, but when you're in the phase of conscious, unconscious incompetence, you're not even thinking about it anymore. It becomes effortless.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's and that's the beauty, is like one of the things that we're, you know, probably really trying to do is take things less personally. Right. Yeah, We've talked about before in what was it?
Speaker 4:Don Miguel Ruiz's book the fifth agreement, the agreement. Four agreements and one is nothing is personal.
Speaker 2:And until you learn that or hear that, everything is personal.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know the guy who cut you off as personal. The Starbucks person who didn't take your order right is personal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you always tell me every what other people do tells you nothing about you. Yeah, it tells you only about them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but that's, that is actually a learned skill to recognize, right, because usually we're making it about us. You know, when somebody's doing something or somebody behaves a certain way, the first thing we think is what did I do wrong?
Speaker 2:Victim victim yeah, what's wrong with me. And you know, part of that consciousness evolution is realizing like it's not about you and so if it's not, then it could be something else. What is it? Instead of saying like well, they didn't like me, they didn't, they didn't even respond to me. Instead, you, you know, unconsciously, you may be like, I hope they're okay, I wonder what's going on with them. You know, that's where you're sort of moving into compassion, less victimhood, kind of just letting life flow. You're not constantly trying to direct it and control it, so that unconscious, unconscious competence is like for me. That's where I strive to be, you know, and that is that unfuck with a bowl. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Part of your development is unfuck with a bowl Like. Whatever happens, I can move with it the mastery of consciousness. Mastery. Yeah, I mean there's levels of mastery of consciousness.
Speaker 4:I have nothing to do with the shape of your body.
Speaker 2:You know like this part of like just becoming a conscious and aware in your everyday life is a skill that is that will serve you forever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know Well, I find myself, you know, quicker and quicker. I am able to apologize or correct myself or see when I do something, it doesn't have to be pointed out to me as often as it used to Like oh. Somebody would say something like, oh, you did this. I was like, oh, shoot, I didn't realize. Yeah. Now I'm so conscious about what I'm saying and being that really is being present, I think. Yeah. It's just being mindful about what we're doing, what we're saying and how we affect other people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's from ignorance to mastery you know, and it's okay to fall back a few levels sometimes, you know, but it's Well shit's going to happen. It is. That's a guarantee.
Speaker 1:Yeah, obviously unconsciously competent. Is you know a destination? Yeah, I mean a direction. I should say A direction and not a destination, a direction. We talked. Well, like what Bruce Lee used to say, perfection is not a destination, it's a direction. So I'm kind of thinking of it like that, because it seems like we oscillate between the two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, sometimes I mean, I hope to get to a point where I can, you know, stay unconsciously competent and I don't know that I've been there. I don't feel like I myself personally have lived there for any sustainable amount of time to say that I've been there, but I do find myself getting closer and closer because there's some things that happen. I'm like, oh, I did that without even thinking this time. So I think, those little small goals for myself, I'm starting to notice and write down and be like, hmm, little goals, little goals.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not all happening at once.
Speaker 2:Yeah, If you're just in a state of awareness and openness and willingness to learn openness and willingness to forgive yourself and forgive people around you and you start to notice where other people are at too, you know and you can have compassion for them, because you once were there also.
Speaker 1:Well, I follow somebody on Instagram is Mike Fields and he says accountability, then compassion, and I was like, hmm, I mean it was speaking to me in a sense that I really have to take accountability for what my position is in this conflict or whatever else is going on before I can apply compassion fully. That makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think I don't know when you said that it makes me think also about compassion for yourself. Yes, yeah, you know, o'opono, o'opono, yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1:It's good, I love you. I'm sorry, please forgive me and thank you. Yeah. All of those like I say to myself as a part of my daily prayer, every day yeah, that's how you can move through the stages. Yeah, I mean, that's four stages right there, I love you. I'm sorry, Please forgive me and thank you. Those are four stages I live by.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, definitely. No I think, I think when I heard this, I loved that it gave a very defined structure to what it looks like to move through these different you know vibrations, you know that of these, I don't know. It's just not wanting to spend time in the lower density. You know, the heaviness and the pain is like you got to wake up, though.
Speaker 2:You got to be like how am I responsible? What is it that I don't know? And then moving into okay, I don't know. Now what do I do? Yeah, oh, here's what I do, and this is how I do it, and pretty soon it's like I just do it without effort.
Speaker 1:When you know, better you do better.
Speaker 2:When you know better, you do better. That's exactly, yeah, that's that could sum up. The entire podcast is when you know better, you do better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, and you know, what I love to leave people with are like references or things that, if it's something that interests you and you want to learn more about, it and probably where these concepts really kind of originated. There are some books that I've loved over the years. They are all books that really had helped me on my journey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too, I mean, I read them in your libraries, oh big time.
Speaker 2:I mean, I remember reading these and it was like oh what. And this is when I didn't know what I didn't know you know, one of them is the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
Speaker 1:That's a great book.
Speaker 2:It's a very powerful book. It's one that you can read over and over, probably the first time you read it. If you're new to this journey, you'll be like what.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I read it when I was unconsciously unconsciously incompetent, yeah, and I went right over my head. I've read it again since and it means something totally different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like reading a whole new book.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know if I would start with that one. Four agreements is one that I can start with.
Speaker 2:Definitely, I would start with four agreements. That's Don Miguel Ruiz.
Speaker 1:And that one's been redone, and the latest addition is the fifth agreement. Oh yeah, they just added something which is be skeptical to the four agreements.
Speaker 2:This one is. It's great about, you know, breaking free from limiting beliefs and agreements that hinder your personal growth and your fulfillment. So I think that's a great book for people to start with. The other one is the Untethered Soul. That's by Michael Singer. Powerful book. That's one that, if you ask a lot of people who are probably well respected in this field, is that you ask them like what was one of the books that read that was very impactful. Untethered Soul. That one is just kind of a book really about like detachment, you know from everything, so letting go of negative thoughts, things like that. And then the other one is a New Earth, really old one. I remember reading this in the Oprah days and that's. It's also by Eckhart Tolle and it's just awakening.
Speaker 2:It's like the collective shift in consciousness, yeah, and that one that was great. There's another one called Consciousness Revolution. That was a really great book. But, yeah, there's so many tools out there. There's a lot of things that you can find to help, but the first thing is to just start asking the questions. And if you're at the beginning of this journey. If you're in unconscious, incompetence is just starting to notice. Notice patterns.
Speaker 1:Well, I like putting a name to it. Similarly, like to being diagnosed, like having these names out there gives me something to point to and diagnose, maybe for myself, like, maybe where am I on this? Like how incompetent am I? I'm asking myself that question. Yeah, because it gives me a placement on this ladder and gives me something to work for. Yeah, or work towards yeah.
Speaker 2:I like it. So, yeah, hopefully people can, you know, gain something from this, and I know I did. I just love that. Gave it structure. Yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, that's been another episode of Let that Shift Go podcast.
Speaker 2:I'm Noelle and I'm Lena, let us know what your questions are and we'd love to use them on a future episode. Or check us out on Insta at Let that Shift Go, or visit our website, serenitycovetomeculacom.