Forgiving Death: Dr. Adam Rizvi on the Dance with Death and the Healing Power of Presence

When Dr. Adam Rizvi, a neurointensivist with an intriguing passion for the spiritual dimensions of healing, joins us, the conversation transcends the ordinary. His "Forgiving Death" workshop, rooted in his intensive care unit experiences, teaches us to embrace presence and empathy when life dwindles to its last breaths. With stories that touch the heart, Adam guides us through the delicate art of end-of-life care, sharing how a deeper understanding of consciousness can aid healthcare professionals and comfort those facing loss. This episode isn't just about the end; it's a profound look at life's totality and the eternal dance with the divine.

Our dialogue takes a reflective turn as we explore the philosophical terrain of life, death, and the realms beyond our physical existence. Inspired by the visually stirring movie "What Dreams May Come," we exchange tales of love's enduring strength in the face of mortality. A patient's transition in Tucson becomes a poignant example of the crucial role healthcare providers play in guiding souls towards tranquility. We contemplate the transformative power of acceptance, love, and the impact such realizations can have not just at the end, but in every moment leading up to it.

The finality of life's journey and the act of letting go are themes we approach with both reverence and openness. In the company of Dr. Rizvi, we learn about the importance of granting freedom and love to those on the verge of passing. Our conversation is an invitation to recognize our innate bond, to feel the liberation that comes with true understanding, and to extend this to the ones we cherish. As we close, we offer a silent acknowledgement of our shared humanity, leaving listeners with a sense of peace and an eagerness to explore the depths of the "Forgiving Death" workshop further.

https://www.serenitycovetemecula.com/guestled/how-to-forgive-death-transforming-disease-and-dying-into-the-spiritual-pathhttps://adamrizvi.com/
https://www.rbiclinic.com/about

https://www.serenitycovetemecula.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Hello and welcome to the Let that Shift Go podcast. I'm Noel.

Speaker 2: 0:11

And I'm Lina.

Speaker 1: 0:12

And this is where we talk about the good, the bad and all the shift in between.

Speaker 2: 0:17

We just talk mad shift. Let's get into it, and on today's episode we have a very special guest, dr Adam Rizvi. He is a passionate neurointensivist, teacher, writer, with a profound love for exploring the convergence of spirituality and healing, and we are doing this podcast today because we have an upcoming workshop that Adam will be guiding us through here at Serenity Cove, and it's one that is so near and dear to my heart. It is called Forgiving Death, and it's just going to be something so powerful for anyone it really literally is for anyone and so we're having him on today to talk a little bit about himself and how this workshop even came into being and what inspired it. So I hope you'll listen in and get something from it. So welcome, adam. Thank you for being here.

Speaker 3: 1:08

Thank you, Lena. It's a pleasure and a joy to be with you.

Speaker 2: 1:12

So I'm excited to be talking about this workshop that we're going to be doing together here at Serenity Cove, and I would like you to tell me a little bit about where the idea came for this, for forgiving death.

Speaker 3: 1:27

I think so. As you know as an intensivist, what we do is we work in the ICU and very often and you know this too from your background in critical care medicine sometimes it's very clear the patient's not going to make it and they're going to die. And I've quickly come to realize in my career that's not a bad thing. It doesn't mean you failed as a physician, it doesn't mean we failed as a medical institution. It just means it's the patient's time and they chose that that was going to be the moment that they left the body. And in all the years that I've been doing this, and just in my personal experience, I realized a couple of fundamental premises. One we're not the body and that there is in fact something that does continue on. It's a very long discussion in and of itself. It's called the hard question of consciousness. Does consciousness exist, a priority to the physical, or is it, as many materialist, reductionist scientists would say, an epiphenomenon of the firings of the neurons in the brain? In my personal experience, I've I had an experience of not being the body, and in the hospital I've seen and experienced pretty amazing wildator.

Speaker 3: 3:03

I realized that the moment of dying is actually a pretty important moment for the soul, for the mind, whatever you want to call it.

Speaker 3: 3:12

And if I happen to be at the bedside of someone who's dying, frequently, let me learn how to be present fully. Let me learn to be as helpful as possible, truly helpful, to someone who's making their transition, who may only have me and a couple of nurses to be by them in that moment. And when I was early on, I think, as a med student and then resident, I would always have this thinking of like my gosh, this is someone who's lived a full life They've had a childhood, parents, lovers, you know, enemies, trials and tribulations. I felt like I had a life review kind of flash in my own mind about them and realizing that all of that culminated to the moment of them being with me, yeah, and then I thought God, let me support that soul, let me support that mind, that heart, to make that transition. And then I started to do self-inquiry, like what would I need to do? How would I need to show up? Yeah, so that their transition is peaceful and sacred and full of honor and joy. Yeah.

Speaker 3: 4:24

And that led me to a lot of discoveries.

Speaker 2: 4:28

Yeah, when you reached out and told me about this workshop, it hit really close to home, because recently I lost a very good friend to leukemia and it was a four-year battle and towards the end, watching the amount of suffering and pain and fear, I had to address my own fear and, like my own sense of mortality and really kind of being at a loss for how to support this person who is imminently at the door. You know, and there's no running, there's no, there's no, oh, maybe it won't. And this is here, this is now, and really kind of reaching within myself to find how can I best sit with you and just be present and be helpful and to find a way to help relieve some of the fear or the pain that you're experiencing, I'm experiencing, your family's experiencing, and it was, there was really a big void, you know, when it kind of came to the healthcare side, even the family side, or sometimes the spiritual side of what is offered through different types of religion and all of that, and so I saw that there, just there was this big gap, you know, and me I've done my own spiritual practice and and I have my own beliefs about reality and consciousness, but I was still at a loss of how to help this other person. And when you reached out and said you were doing this, I'm like this is for anyone, because the one thing we're all guaranteed is it's all temporal, we're all going to be there at some point or support someone in that space, or be with someone who is supporting someone in that space, supporting someone in that space. So, yes, it's absolutely.

Speaker 2: 6:07

I think, gosh, this should be taught in nursing school. I wish that I would have learned it in nursing school, but for anyone who's kind of traversing life at all, it's something that is really important. So I'm so glad that you're doing this. When I saw how the day looks you know, this full day of experience I was just like I didn't get one third through. I'm like, yes, yes, when? Yes, so just really, you know, talking about, I know you even, you're talking about the Course in Miracles and that being something that also has guided your practices and moving through the world and non-dualism and all of that. How does that? How do you, um, really apply all of these principles to someone, say, who's you know, fully a Catholic, fully in a religious practice, but can still be able to be helped through this sense of presence or help?

Speaker 3: 6:56

Yeah, there's well. I'll just share with you one principle that comes from A Course in Miracles, but it also is present in other forms of non-dualism, and this is the idea that we're all one, and it's not just a metaphor. There is one fundamental substance, and that substance is pure love. You could call it God, and the teaching is that that's all there is, and any appearance to the contrary like you sitting in front of me, lena, and me being Adam this is an illusion. Now here's the cool thing about it.

Speaker 3: 7:39

Some part of your mind, deep down in the unconscious, subconscious mind, knows this. It remembers, it knows that, oh yeah, there's only one of us here. And so when you make a determination about someone, that person is, you know, an a-hole that he's so stupid, or I can't believe she did that. The judgments we make about someone else, yes, we're putting the blame out there, but that part of our mind deep down inside it still knows there's only one of us here. So everything we just said gets deeply internalized to be about ourselves.

Speaker 3: 8:15

And now that can deepen us into a prison and a trap of seeing ourselves as unworthy and bad, and the more we condemn others, the more we're condemning ourselves, because that part of us knows what we're saying is about us. The key, though, is you just flip it around. You start to see perfection in another, you start to see the truth of who someone is, that all their expressions of anger and mistrust and jealousy, it's all cry for love. It's all a cry for love, and the person, who's the being, who's doing the crying, is whole and pure and perfect and wholly worthy of all the love this universe can give. And when you see that person as that, then that part of your mind, deep down, starts to internalize that truth oh, I'm whole, I'm perfect, there's nothing wrong with me.

Speaker 2: 9:11

It's the mirror.

Speaker 3: 9:12

Yeah, exactly, it's the mirror principle, and so what I think, one of the power that I've noticed with the practice that I do with my patients who die is I see them as perfect and I make sure I see them as perfect. I go through the illusion of how they were as a personality, interacting with myself and the nurses, in case it was negative, and, uh, I go through the illusion of a body that's diseased, um and, and you know, appearing to be dying, and I go to the core of a body that's diseased and appearing to be dying, and I go to the core of who they are eternal, perfect love. And what I notice is what I'm doing now. If we acknowledge nonphysical energy and different thought forms as a reality, I'm offering sort of a package, like a gift to them, saying this is who you really are. I'm seeing you as this.

Speaker 3: 10:11

And as they're making this transition which can be fraught with confusion, like what's happening, especially for those who don't believe in life after death there's a sort of a shock. They're getting this wave of energy, if you will, or this thought bubble reminding them you're just love, you're just love, and there comes a peace over them. I feel like, genuinely, when I do this, I can feel a being going from a place of confusion and fear to a place of trust and love and peace, and then they can make that transition because you've held that energy for them. And the power of this is not just to help them. But the more I see them as that I'm healing myself, the more you see yourself as that.

Speaker 3: 10:57

Exactly.

Speaker 2: 10:59

Wow, that is so powerful. I can just imagine, if you know, being in the position of having to hold that space with someone, whether it's your family member, whether it's maybe even in a place where there was forgiveness that needs to be found. Needs to be found is being able to remember those principles and remember that heart of love and acceptance and wholeness and seeing another soul on a soul's journey not just what they were to you or you know, whether it was just as a patient or as a father or as a mother, and there was a lot of things probably that happened over that course of the journey together.

Speaker 3: 11:37

But being able to see each other in love and wholeness and being that, having that reflected back is, you're absolutely right, so healing for both our society and to just I even notice it in myself to see through someone's appearance and to know them as wholly worthy of my love, let alone, you know, the love of God and the world breaks something inside of me. It breaks an old pattern of me feeling unworthy. If I can give something to someone, that means I've had it to give in the first place.

Speaker 2: 12:25

And it comes right back.

Speaker 3: 12:26

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:27

Kind of tenfold, exactly.

Speaker 3: 12:29

You know yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:30

Yeah, and I think the same goes for anger judgment, all of that that comes back also, you know, and being able to switch that and just see somebody in love and wholeness is so important so that they can see that in themselves, because, right, there is a part of them that knows that and until it's recognized, sometimes in the eyes of someone else, they don't remember, they don't see themselves that way until they can see it reflected back.

Speaker 3: 12:58

That's very true. I just had a thought right now have you ever seen what Dreams May Come? Yes, yeah, I love it. Yeah, it's a great movie and I think it's a good teaching for many people about the moments after death. I think it was Cuba Gooding Jr right.

Speaker 2: 13:16

Robin Williams. Yeah, and was Cuba Gooding I?

Speaker 3: 13:18

think Cuba Gooding was his mentor or guide after he died, and he says so many great things in there. His body appears blurry and he tells Robin Williams, the main character, I wonder why you're not willing to see me yet, right? And so one of the teachings that in that movie is that after you, the moment that you die or that the body passes away, your mind keeps right on going, but it sees only what it's willing to see and it sees only what it understands to be real. And there's a really important moment in those first few hours to days where you are like potentially lost at sea. You have no rudder, you don't know where you are and everything that you're seeing is an immediate reflection of your own beliefs and your thoughts. So if you fear something, that's what you get. You see fear, you see monsters and demons. In the Buddhist tradition they call this the bardo it means the in-between, and they often report it as being filled with monsters and whatnot. But that's all self-generated.

Speaker 2: 14:30

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 14:30

And until you recognize that it can be a self-created hell.

Speaker 2: 14:37

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 14:39

And so I feel like in those moments it's so important. That's why, in many traditions, dreams and nightmares, they get this voice from outside reminding them you're safe, you're cared for, you're loved.

Speaker 2: 15:06

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 15:07

And, you know, for those who are with someone at their deathbed, I think those are probably one of the most important messages to give to that person, just to keep reminding them they're one with source, they're loved, they're cared for and they're free.

Speaker 2: 15:22

Yeah, I know when you talked about that before. With you're free, you're not bound by all of the stories.

Speaker 3: 15:31

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:31

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 15:32

Yeah, that's so, you know. I want to share with you. Now I feel like I'm talking too much.

Speaker 2: 15:38

What do you think we're doing here?

Speaker 3: 15:42

I want to share this story because it impacted me really deeply. I was in a hospital in Tucson and I had a patient who was dying of COPD, end stage. It was a pulmonary disorder and his family was in another state and he wanted to see them before they came and he didn't want to be intubated. So we had him on a BiPAP, a mask to put pressurized oxygen in, and we were trying to keep him alive you know, stretch that out so that his family could come. And they were. They were on a flight, but it was pretty clear that he was not going to make it and they weren't going to make it in time and he unfortunately lost consciousness.

Speaker 3: 16:30

I think his carbon dioxide levels were too high and he sort of slipped and then eventually his oxygen levels dropped and then his heart stopped and then eventually his oxygen levels dropped and then his heart stopped. And I remember standing there with him and this was peri-COVID days, so I was all gowned up and everything. And when his heart went asystolic, when his heart stopped, I felt a pressure in the room. It felt dark and oppressive. There was a feeling of like tension and fear and I was just looking at him and I started to go within and say everything's all right, everything's all right and I saw. This is where, as physicians and nurses, we need to learn to trust our intuition.

Speaker 3: 17:17

But I was getting these mental images of like a man looking for something that he lost on the street, like looking and searching. And I had. I got this impression, this intuition. He left his body and he was looking for something and I sort of just connected to say, well, you know what are you looking for? He's like where's my son? Where's my son? No-transcript.

Speaker 3: 18:09

And I felt from him like he just wanted them to know that they were okay and that feeling of heaviness totally lifted up. And it was this moment stuck for me, because it was one of the few moments that I actually visually saw something and I saw this circle of light up where the monitors were the ICU monitors, and I felt him move into that light, some portal or something. It just was clear that there was movement through and after that the room felt empty. Wow, and for me it was one of the few moments where it's very clear something in fact does transpire after we die and as healthcare providers and really anyone, anyone can play a role in guiding those souls to move from confusion and fear to love and peace.

Speaker 2: 19:07

Yeah, and it feels like even the way you describe it is. It's so simple.

Speaker 3: 19:13

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 19:13

Is just to see someone in their wholeness in love and to know that everything's okay and in some ways you're just speaking to another part of yourself.

Speaker 3: 19:23

That's it, that's the key.

Speaker 2: 19:25

Yeah, I mean I think that's what I love about this workshop so much is. Yes, it's absolutely essential, I think, for anyone who's working in healthcare physicians, nurses, hospice nurses you know hospice, you know just anyone right? But it's important for everyone to be able to get that message, because you don't have to wait until it's the end of the road for you or for someone else in order to make that realization now and start living your life in that way, because we're not promised anything. You know, Not everyone is fortunate enough to know when the time is coming in some way fortunate or not fortunate but we're not guaranteed any of that, and so just being able to live in a way every day where that is reflected back to you and from you is a completely different way of living your life.

Speaker 3: 20:19

Yeah, that's a great point. It reminds me that one of the things I'm hoping to achieve with the workshop is to create a different context for people around death. Okay, yeah, I think the current context is death is inevitable, it's a part of life, but it's very uncomfortable. Let's not talk about it right. That's generally the Western purview and some aspects of Eastern traditions who embrace the idea of reincarnation. Death has a different context. The context is do the prayers so that you get reborn into a better life, and that's the context. So it's working towards improved life circumstances. For those who don't believe in reincarnation Judeo-Christian traditions and I grew up in that tradition the idea is death is your last chance to atone, your last chance to repent.

Speaker 3: 21:18

Make it right, make it right, yeah, and that way you get to go to heaven and not hell. And you know, what I'm hoping to create is a context that this is not a fear-based motivation. We're not doing this work at the moment of death because we're trying to avoid hell or we're trying to avoid bad circumstances for our next lifetime. This is part of a much deeper context of remembering who we are. This goes so much beyond that. It's realizing we've always been home, we've always been with God. We've actually never left. That's one of the core teachings of A Course in Miracles We've never left home. We just think we're dreaming of.

Speaker 3: 22:08

Exile is one of the quotes. Yeah, we just have to remember. And when we face death or even contemplate death, it brings such a depth and profundity to the present moment. But if it's placed in that broader context, then we realize oh yeah, this is all about remembering. This is all about remembering that I've never left. And seeing ourselves as not the body, as this eternal light, seeing others as eternal, perfect and whole, is the undoing of all of those knots, knots, exactly, until there's nothing left but God. Yeah, that's the context.

Speaker 2: 22:52

I love that. That made it very clear. It was like watching that all kind of unfold as you were talking about it, and it really you're right, it makes it so different because when so many people fear death and when you put it in that context of like, well, this is the last time to atone and I have all these things I still feel guilty about, or all these things I didn't do, or all of that, that can be, of course, if this is it, if this is your, you know the last moment it would be filled with fear. But changing the context of knowing that it's not about that, yeah, it's the remembering.

Speaker 3: 23:25

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2: 23:26

Yeah, I love that. No-transcript.

Speaker 3: 23:47

Yeah, that's it. If learning one tip or tool is nice, changing that, your entire context for how life is lived, that's priceless.

Speaker 2: 23:59

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 24:02

And if someone can come away from the workshop with an understanding that all of this is about remembering we've never left home and that we've always been welcomed by. In the story of the prodigal son, his father loved him all along and wanted him home. But he needed to go off on his journey only to realize that he's always been welcomed home. And he had such guilt and I remember in the story he talks about how he's unworthy and the father wraps him in this cloak and gives him this ring and says you're worthy of all of my riches. It took the journey for him to realize he's always been welcomed home and that, I think, is the context. For us is to recognize we're all on this journey of remembering we've always been home, not that we've left, we've always been there.

Speaker 2: 24:55

We dream that we've left. We're just dropping the illusion that we weren't.

Speaker 3: 24:59

That's right.

Speaker 2: 24:59

Yeah, that we're not always whole and complete and loved.

Speaker 3: 25:03

Yeah, I love that?

Speaker 2: 25:08

Um, I know we talked about like there was a prayer that you do at the, at the workshop. Um, is there anything else you want to share about the workshop, how it came together? Any other information, knowledge, anything that you want to share? Before you maybe do a little, just a sampling, because when you told me part of it when we met about doing this, I immediately it was like it was like my soul heard it and remembered and there was this deep part that was like, yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2: 25:44

You know, like I don't want to cry now because we're on a podcast, but it was like the yeah, you already know, you know, just remember. But please, if there's anything else that you want to share before we wrap up and maybe go into a sampling of the prayer, please do.

Speaker 3: 26:00

Yeah Well, I think we can just go right into it. I don't have too much else to share.

Speaker 2: 26:04

Okay, one thing I'll say before the prayer, because I'd love to end with. The prayer Sounds great Is the workshop is called Forgiving Death. It's on June 1st and it's from 8 45 in the morning to 5 45 in the evening. It's full day. There'll be lunch there. Um, it's, it's only $25. That's a lot of people have been like it's $25. Where's the other zero?

Speaker 2: 26:28

But this is because, you know, it's really something that we want everyone to be able to access. Um, if there's anyone that even isn't able to do the $25, that's fine. You know it's just a $25 donation for the food and the and the gathering, um, but please, uh, check out Serenity Cove. The workshop is called Forgiving Death, on June 1st, um 845 to 545. Um, we will have. It'll be a small gathering, probably about 15, 20 people, um, but it's something that I think is so important, um, and for anyone. If you know someone who's going through this process, if you know someone who's either either at the door or walking someone through it, if you're a healthcare provider in any way you care for others, um, especially at this time in their lives, or you're a human being who needs to remember who you are, please come, please come.

Speaker 2: 27:23

So yeah with that, please.

Speaker 3: 27:25

Adam, and I'll also add a small piece here. My intention is to take all of this and put it in a book, and I am working on that. If anyone's interested and doesn't have the time, money or whatnot to come to the workshop, go to adamrusbycom and then there's a spot where you can sign up to get updates on the book when it comes out. Awesome.

Speaker 2: 27:48

And you also have a place in Encinitas that you practice. Is that right?

Speaker 3: 27:52

Yeah, our family has a small clinic where we take care of neurological conditions in. Rancho Santa Fe.

Speaker 2: 27:59

Awesome, so also look that up. We'll put some notes in the show itself for you to find more about Adam, and so yeah, with that, I'll give you the mic.

Speaker 3: 28:12

So, for whoever is listening, I want you to take a moment. Hopefully you're not driving, and if you are, just do your best to stay present with the road, go within, close your eyes and I think this prayer, this exercise, is best done with someone in mind. Think of someone who has either passed away recently or is about to, and if there's no one that comes to mind, just think of yourself. In fact, we are all mortal and this dream lifetime is pretty short, relatively speaking. Once you have that person in mind and I'm sharing with each of you what I do with my patients just take a moment and, in the spirit of love, in the spirit of true, sincere wishing to help and to be of service, connect with them, connect with their heart, connect with their mind, their soul, whatever term you want to use, just connect with them. And when you do that out of love, you can feel that and because we know and parts of our mind remembers that we are one, we're really connecting with an aspect of ourself. And now and this is critical the person you're thinking of. They may be sick, they might have some illness or disease, and if they've passed away already, then of course there's this illusion of death that's before you. I want you to see through that. It's literally like a curtain or a mist, like fog. You're going to cut through that. You're going to go through that fog, that curtain, that veil which is giving you the appearance that there's disease and death, and just walk through that and on the other side you will see an effulgent light. You will see an eternal, endless light that's radiant. And just take a moment and be witness to that. That light, spotless and endless, is this person's true nature, and just acknowledge them as that. You might even choose to say I see you as light, I see you as love and know it. And now that you're connected with them, these thoughts that you have, they'll pick up on wherever they are, an aspect of their mind, will pick up on how you are seeing them and seeing them truly. And now I want you to imagine them in their prime, so to speak. Imagine them playing, laughing, smiling, wearing their best outfits at the prime of their life. Really create a mental image of this person and if it's, you see yourself as that. The idea here is you're giving, you're informing yourself and them of their own perfection, of their own joy. All these images serve to communicate that. And now I want you to take a moment.

Speaker 3: 32:16

This is especially important for those who are about to make their transition. From your heart, connected to them, you tell them they are free, they are free. And you could just say that directly. Say you are free, you are loved, you are so loved and you're cared for and you always will be. Just envelop them in that love, envelop them in that light, in that memory of total freedom.

Speaker 3: 32:56

And this is important because, for those who are going to make their transition, if they're a really important part of us, we might not want to tell them that, we might want to hold on and say, well, you're free, but just stay with me a little longer, right? So we just need to acknowledge that feeling of wanting to hold on. And this is where the healing comes for us. When we say you're free, we have to mean it, really mean it. You are free, because true love doesn't hold, doesn't hold back.

Speaker 3: 33:27

True love gives, it offers. And so offer that freedom to them. You're free to go, you're free to continue your journey, continue your grand adventure. And now, when you feel complete with that, a final step is to see yourself standing in front of them in that light, communing with them, communing in your mutual freedom, mutual love, and watch as their body dissolves. And as their body dissolves into nothing merging with that light, so does your body dissolve, bit by bit, piece by piece, until there's nothing left, there is no form, and all that is left is an endless expanse of radiant light, radiant love. And that is the truth of who you are and the truth of who they are, as one one singular light. Just let's take a few seconds here in silence to rest in that light and take a deep breath and, when you're ready, gently open your eyes wow, thank you so much, adam.

Speaker 2: 35:55

It's been an honor to have you here. I can't wait for the workshop and I hope to see all who are meant to be there with us, there with us likewise, and thank you for having me, lena, absolutely alright, that's been another episode of Let that Shift Go podcast. I'm Noel and I'm Lena let us know what your questions are and we'd love to use them on a future episode. Or check us out on Insta at Let that Shift Go, or visit our website, serenitycovetomeculacom. Thank you.