As a Woman Series Part 3: Sexually Thriving Through Perimenopause, Menopause and Beyond

We are now in part three today of the “As a Woman” series, and today I'm diving deep into how we can thrive sexually through perimenopause, menopause, and beyond. I'm here to tell you, it doesn't matter if you're 65 or older, you deserve to feel amazing in your body. We're busting the myth that sex and pelvic floor health are only for the young. I'll be giving you the lowdown on how to care for your vaginas, clitorises, uteruses, and pelvises, no matter your age. So, buckle up, because we're about to make sure that your sex life and pelvic health are thriving at every stage of life. Let's get into it!

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Transcript

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[00:00:00] Welcome back y'all to another episode of the vagina rehab, doctor podcast. We have been going strong y'all. For several months and I just want to shout you out if you have been listening to this podcast coming back Sharing it with people, you know with your friends all of that every single time that you listen I ask you to do something and that is to leave me a five star raving review or share it with someone, you know So what I want to do is actually just read a review that someone has left because I really appreciate this This is what helps this podcast to continue on the air So before I get into today's juicy episode, I just want to read one or two reviews and this one is from Oh, there you are And she said, uh, she titled this Learning the good stuff.

It says, each episode I learn something new. I'm learning so much about my body and mind. It feels almost [00:01:00] illegal to get all the info she gives out for free. Okay, listen, listen, I love that. I'm going to read one more and then we're going to get into the episode. This one is coming from mpsenior211. And it says, thank you, Dr.

Janelle. I have been listening to your podcast for a few months at least. I am learning so much about my vaginal health from you. Your theme song is dope too. I'm excited to keep healing my sexuality with your podcast. I absolutely love that y'all we are here to heal and healing is an ongoing process.

It's not a destination. It is actually a journey that we commit to And something that we are nurturing on an ongoing basis. So thanks for being here y'all today. We're going to be talking about thriving sexually Through perimenopause, menopause, and beyond. Listen, I don't care if you are 65. Baby, you deserve to feel good in your [00:02:00] body.

Sex is not something that's just for young people. And we need to be talking about how to continue caring for our vaginas, our clitorises, our uterus, if you still have that. And our pelvis no matter what our age is, right? So we want to make sure that we are not acting as if pelvic floor health is only for a certain age group We want to make sure that we're not just acting like the only people that develop incontinence are People who've just had a baby.

No, you can have incontinence, prolapse, sexual pain. You can have vulvodynia. You can have endometriosis at 16, 17, 18. And then you can have those same conditions when you're in your sixties, seventies and beyond. But perimenopause specifically actually starts around eight to 10 years before menopause hits.

Okay. So menopause. Y'all this is what menopause is. Menopause is when you have not gotten a period for a year [00:03:00] straight. And this is when your body is no longer ovulating. So ovulation refers to the process in which Your ovaries are releasing an egg into the fallopian tubes so that when sperm comes into the uterus, there is a possibility of pregnancy.

And so ovulation happens once a month, ideally. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and I actually do not get a period every single month. Most times i'm, you know, i'm claiming that this year will be different so far. It's been a good year, but You typically will get a period every month And it shouldn't be significant bleeding.

It shouldn't be lots of clotting. It should not be painful If those things are happening, you definitely want to look into Um a health care provider who can help you not just an ob gyn. Although I highly encourage that you do see one There's also Dietitians, there's functional medicine doctors, right?

There's [00:04:00] gut doctors, there's pelvic pain specialists, There's obviously fitness instructors and people who can help you with your mobility and your fitness. There's a lot of things going on, and so Y'all, I, I just want to say that we have to stop acting like pleasure and eroticism and just being a thriving sexual being is reserved for a certain age period.

No, I know people who are literally. In their 60s and 70s and beyond who are having just very active sex lives No pain, no vaginal dryness. Did you hear what I said? No pain, no vaginal dryness vaginal atrophy and all of that when you're in menopause? Absolutely. Because again, the body is no longer producing uh, estrogen at a rate that, nourishes the sexual organs in the same way as when you're younger and when you're ovulating because your body is no longer trying to get you pregnant, So pregnancy and sex [00:05:00] definitely go hand in hand because in the natural way to get pregnant is to have sex, right? So, the body associates those two things together. And it doesn't mean you can't have a great sex life, but it's understandable if someone is noticing more issues with that. So I want to talk about when perimenopause can start.

And again, perimenopause is when your body starts perimenopause. the levels of estrogen start lowering. So you're heading to menopause even though it hasn't been a full year since you've had a missing period, but it's coming. So 8 to 10 years before menopause starts is usually around when perimenopause starts.

And you may notice that you are having headaches more, night sweats, uh, you may notice that you're having difficulty sleeping. Um, hot flashes, difficulty concentrating, and you may notice that your sexual desire is changing, right? You may notice that the vaginal moisture is changing. And when we say vaginal [00:06:00] dryness, this is the other thing we have to talk about when we're talking about vaginal dryness.

It's not just for sex. When vaginally, yes, it can be during sex, but it can also mean just during the day during functional activities. When you have dryness, it can mean that just walking or sitting, it feels uncomfortable. Or when you wipe after you urinate, after you use the bathroom, it feels just more discomfort.

It is uncomfortable to wipe because it, because it is dry. So vaginal lubrication serves purposes extend beyond just having sex. We need moisture there just during the day for it to be comfortable. And I'm not saying you're dripping, like you're just, walking around just gooey dripping, you know, WAP. No, I'm not talking about that.

I'm just talking about a basic level of moisture when it is not dry and uncomfortable, So these are some things that can start happening [00:07:00] even before you go into menopause. And it's also important to note that you can go to your doctor, your OBGYN or someone that can actually test your sex hormone levels, your estrogen, your testosterone, your progesterone.

So I want to talk about ways that we can start nurturing our hormones. You don't have to wait until perimenopause. You don't have to wait until menopause either. And you don't have to wait until you're 70 or 80, even though that's the topic for today. I want to talk about how can you nurture your sex life?

How can you nurture your hormones? Even when you are in perimenopause, even when the hormones are changing, even when things are, shifting, right? You're not ovulating as regular or estrogen is not as high, or maybe your, your vaginal lubrication is not as strong as it used to be. What are some ways that we can still thrive sexually?

The number one way I believe is to read more about [00:08:00] your hormones. About your sex life, about your body. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a book where you sit down and read the book from front to cover. But even paying attention to more blogs, magazines, even reading reputable sources on Google. So when you go and Google things, one way to sort of filter through, sources that are just not as reliable is like things that are research based.

Where's the research study? websites that are founded by healthcare professionals, So you know, I'm going to plug myself. So if you go to vagina rehab, doctor. com, you'll see different blogs on there. And so that is a website where things are written by an actual healthcare provider, You can also pay attention to, websites that end in. org. Or, websites that are just more reputable and not just someone's opinion who is not a healthcare provider. And it doesn't mean that someone [00:09:00] can't be highly educated without a degree. Let's not even play. Cause there's a lot of people that are degreed up, doctored up.

Listen, we've all been to a doctor where it's like, how did you become? I'm just kidding. Right? So it doesn't mean that just because you don't have a degree and all that, that you're not knowledgeable. But I'm just saying in terms of nurturing our hormones, nurturing our body and thriving at any age, one of the best ways is to read, um, literature from providers who truly understand this stuff and who have dedicated their careers to studying and treating these very issues.

So that's the very first way I'm a huge believer in education. Listen, educate yourself. The more education you have about sex, It's about hormones, about your pelvis, about your mental health, about leisure, about things that make you feel good in your body. That is so good. That is therapeutic, baby. That's that is, that's medicine.

And so we can't skip over that. [00:10:00] The next thing that I have to talk about, oh my gosh, it's prioritizing your sleep. I know we hear this all the time and I know that I am even preaching to myself at this very moment. I know if my mom hears this episode, she's going to be like, girl, you just told me. You went to bed too late last night, but that doesn't, that doesn't take away from the truth.

The truth is that we will feel it. Our body will feel it. Our body will suffer when we continually neglect our duty to rest. It is a duty. It is a duty, but also a privilege to take our bodies down and say, Body, I appreciate you, but now, body, it is time to rest. You've done enough for me today. I'm not going to stay up scrolling.

I'm not going to stay up looking at videos. I'm going to set a time that is realistic for my life right now. So if you've been going to bed at 2am, don't be like, okay, I'm going to go to bed at 9. 30 every night. That's not [00:11:00] realistic for you. If you've been going to bed at 2 a. m. every night, can you just start by going to bed at 1230?

Just an hour and a half, um, earlier, And try to focus on quality of sleep as well. How can you nurture the environment of your bedroom, right? Is the temperature very comfortable? Do you want to get into your pajamas at a specific time? Do you want to start lowering the lights, getting rid of artificial lights and just lighting some candles every single night at the same time, Do you want to make sure that your bed is only reserved for sleep? You're not working in your bed. You're not on your laptop in your bed, right? You're only getting in the bed when it is time to actually rest your mind in your body. Listen, protect your sleep, protect your sleep because the body regulates hormones while we're sleeping.

Especially cortisol, which is the stress hormone and insulin, which our blood sugar. And so our blood sugar levels, our stress levels have a very big impact on our hormones. This is why people who have [00:12:00] PCOS, me included, people who have endometriosis, a lot of these conditions are hormone dependent.

They're very impact. They're highly impacted by hormones. And so one of the best things to do for both endometriosis, pelvic pain. Fibroids, PCOS, is to regulate blood sugar and regulate stress hormones, like as basic as it sounds. Those things directly change our hormone levels, So the more stressed I am, the higher my blood sugar will be. This is just how it works. The less sleep I get, the higher my blood sugar levels will get and my stress hormones. So insulin will be higher and cortisol will be higher just from not getting enough sleep. So we want to prioritize trying to get like at least eight to nine hours of sleep.

If not that, let's do seven. Let's do seven. And if you're raising babies and if you have to get up during the night, It's understandable that this, this season of your life may not have as much sleep, right? It's, [00:13:00] it's one of the sacrifices that we make when we decide to be a parent and that is understandable, but you want to do the best that you can and also communicate to those who are supporting you, the needs that you have.

Another thing that you can do is also move your body more and that includes moving your vagina. Oh, Kurt, so listen, if you can still be getting it in. Listen, get it in. Sex is actually healthy, and I'm talking about protected sex, consensual sex. I'm talking about committed sex. I'm not talking about unsafe, you know, toxic sex.

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about if you are in a relationship with someone you trust, with someone that, that, that you, that you are giving consent to, then prioritize your sex life because the movement And the stretch and the contractions and the blood flow and the lubrication and all that that happens during sex is actually super healthy.

So the longer period of time that the vagina goes without that [00:14:00] throbbing that happens when we're aroused, that stretch, that contraction that happens with, uh, penetration, that happens with clitoral stimulation, that happens with just arousal. That is, um, that's, that's a loss to the vagina in the sense that it's not getting that treat.

It's like a treat. And I'm talking about pain, I'm not talking about painful, excruciating sex. Obviously, that's not a treat. But I am referring to, if you can stretch those muscles, if you can get them to just, you know, you know, feel a little horny every now and then, that's a very good thing. And so if you can still get that in, make time for it.

Listen, put it on your schedule. If you have to read an erotic novel or, you know, paint a picture in your mind that, that fantasizes something that can help you to tap into that part of you can be very helpful for not just people going through perimenopause and menopause, but anyone that has a vagina.

All right. The other thing that I want to talk about is [00:15:00] also. Eating nutrient dense food. Okay nutrient dense foods are going to be your foods that are not Super duper processed, So if you look on the back of the ingredients, they have a thousand ingredients You can't even pronounce any of them Not necessarily talking about that i'm referring to plant based foods, right so vegetables Fruits and whole grains and beans and legumes are nutrient packed.

there's also meats, certain meats that have a lot of B vitamins, but meats tend to also have like saturated fats and other inflammatory, ingredients. But I'm not saying that everyone who eats meat is unhealthy. Cause you can be vegan and be unhealthy and eat trash, and then you can be a meat eater and actually have a healthy diet.

But when I say nutrient dense, I'm talking about vitamins and I'm talking about antioxidants. Antioxidants are these compounds that actually fight disease and fight inflammation in your body. So that [00:16:00] helps to fight disease that helps to preserve tissue. Okay. We're talking about preserving the vaginal wall, preserving the clitoris, Preserving the skin and the integrity of our tissues, especially in our pelvis. Antioxidants really help with that. Okay, so antioxidants are only found in plant based foods. so prioritize your fruits. Prioritize vitamin D rich foods. Prioritize, vitamin C rich foods. Prioritize, vitamin B.

And I actually have a vagina food e guide that 25 percent off. So if you want to learn more about foods that can help you with just getting more nutrition in and also nourishing your vagina, your coochie, your clitoris, go check it out with the show notes, super affordable.

I want to say it's like 20 something dollars and it's on sale right now. So give, give that a try. If you're interested in learning more about foods like vagina [00:17:00] foods. So y'all, I'm going to keep it simple. last thing. If you're experiencing dryness, you can ask your doctor for like an estrogen based cream that can help nourish the tissues a little more because remember, estrogen is lower.

So when estrogen is lower, you may be having more dryness. And you don't have to be a menopause to ask your ob gyn or your medical provider for like a topical estrogen cream. And if it has a little testosterone in it, it might help you a little bit with that libido too. So ask your doctor about that and they will be the one to decide.

I obviously cannot make those decisions. I'm not your medical doctor. So ask your doctor about that. And then also consider using different like, um, like oil, like coconut oil can be helpful. also just staying very hydrated, not just drinking water, but also eating your water. So fruits are very, very helpful.

And of course, vitamin D also has a big role to play with vaginal lubrication. So get [00:18:00] out there in the sun, where your sunscreen, that's going to be super helpful for you. And then of course, if you. Are taking a vitamin D supplement that your doctor has approved you to take then that is also going to be helpful Y'all we can thrive no matter how old we are we can get it on no matter how old we are no matter what What phase of life we're in, we can feel good in our body and there's no shame in pursuing a happy and thriving Erotic sex life like that is a good thing and it's healthy It's normal And even if you are not married and you're religious or if you're waiting until marriage your sex life includes just how you're nurturing your pelvis It's not always just sticking something into the vagina or are reaching an orgasm.

It's how do you feel about yourself as a sexual being? That's your sex life It's like, what do you think about sex right now? Are you sex positive? Do you shame yourself when you get horny or, you know, that's your sex life too, Do you like to wear lingerie and like, how do you feel when you're naked?

How do you look at your [00:19:00] body? And it's not just that, but even your mind, right? What are the thoughts? What are the ideas? What are the fantasies that you have regarding? Your sex life and your sexual desires. Everyone has a sex life and it's not just something touching your clitoris or something going in and out the vagina.

It's a very limited way of looking at your sex life. So y'all, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Go ahead and rewind, run it back if you want to listen again, but you can thrive sexually in perimenopause, menopause and beyond. Y'all thanks so much for listening to this episode and I can't wait to talk to you again next Monday.

Bye.