[00:00:00] All right, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of the Vagina Rehab Doctor Podcast. Today I'm going to be sharing with you some strategies, some hacks, some skills that you want to pick up and use. If you're looking to overcome vaginismus, sexual pain or pelvic floor muscle tightness, That's preventing you from feeling confident in your body.
I mean, and I'm not just talking about sex, you all, vaginismus is so much bigger than just sex. It's, it's also you feeling confident in your relationship with your OBGYN. Like it's also about you feeling confident and connected to even your friends. Sometimes when we're experiencing pain or we can't have sex in the way that we want to, when our friends are talking about sex, we literally may feel disconnected from them.
So vaginismus is not just about sex and not just about you and your partner. It's impacting your social life [00:01:00] and your, your sense of worth, your sense of confidence, self esteem, mental health, all of that. And so I'm going to talk to you about vaginismus. how to overcome your vaginismus and how to use, uh, specific strategies to dilate.
So let's talk about this specifically. I had a patient this week. I worked with her one on one because she was struggling on her own. Give you a little bit of a backstory. Two weeks ago, I started, um, Cohort two of my vaginismus to vaginal issues group program. So I work with, um, it's about over 20 people in two different.
time so I have a 10 a. m on thursday. I also have a 7 p. m So everyone is not in that same class and i'm also working with dr. Dr Mapa, so both of us are helping people and there was one person this week that came to me saying that she was really struggling To get her dilator in at all. She was on size four for the past two weeks And so size four, I believe [00:02:00] out of a set of eight.
And she told me that she could not get it in at all. She said that she was crying in the morning. She tried to dial it that morning. And she was frustrated because for the past couple of days, she couldn't do something that she could do for the past two weeks. And so I was like, let's meet, let's meet one on one.
I want to see what's going on. And so I met with her first. I just checked in to see how she was doing. It did turn out that she had a pretty stressful week. Right, so I think there was a death in the family. She had to travel and I ended up Having her and this is all remote y'all. This is all remote. So I'm instructing her on what to do, right?
so, you know, of course my camera stays on and She turns off her camera and I and I'm directing her on how to Go ahead and try her dilator size four and the dilator does not immediately go in all the way. Okay. She, she was having some difficulty and it went in maybe a third of the way. Okay. Dilator size four went in a third of the way [00:03:00] on the first try.
And what, what I was telling her is to remember that discomfort or tightness or pain when dilating. It's usually a part of the journey to the top of the mountain. If your goal is pain free sex, overcoming vaginismus, right? Not worrying about fear and anxiety that you're going to, that you're going to have this stinging, burning, excruciating, stretching, tight feeling with sex.
That is understandable. Like if you don't want to be struggling through sex, but understand that on the way to overcoming a real physical pelvic problem, it's not just in your head. So if you've been told, like, you know, you just need to relax or it's just your trauma, There can be some, some impacts of your trauma.
There can be some anxiety, but believe me when I say if something is having difficulty getting in a vagina That's a physical problem too that we need to fix on a [00:04:00] physical level. vaginismus If you can't get that penis in your vagina If you can't get that tampon in without forcing it if you're hitting a brick wall Trying to get a pelvic exam, right?
Your husband has been trying to get in your vagina for three years This is also a physical barrier. Let me explain it this way Vaginismus is like trying to put a pencil through the eye of a needle. Vaginismus is like trying to put a pencil through the eye of a needle. And unless we create more space in that pelvic floor, Penetration probably won't happen.
And if it does, it's going to be painful, most likely. So it's required, generally speaking, to restore the pelvic floor to health, to create more flexibility and space inside of that pelvic floor. So that penetration is at least possible and then pleasurable, And so you do not need a glass of wine.
You [00:05:00] probably need a pelvic floor physical therapist. Okay. Let, let me just be real. You don't need a glass of wine. You don't need just another breathing session. You don't, you don't need to just relax. You need a pelvic floor physical therapist. And so let me tell you what I did with this client in the session.
I started affirming that she was experiencing stress and anxiety. I normalized that when we're having a difficult week, our pelvic floor is going to be more tense. This is just natural and I don't want you to I want you to understand that it's a natural process of being a dynamic person who has a job and who has a family and who has different relationships and who has medical conditions and who's managing day to day life.
And so sometimes we will have those stressful days where our body is carrying a lot and just the thought of receiving something and opening up and letting something penetrate our bodies. Sometimes the pelvic floor is like, nope. And so I, I knew I, or at least I guess that that's what was going on.
And so I affirmed that she was going through stuff and her stress levels were probably [00:06:00] higher. And I think just that alone. helped her to see that there's nothing wrong with her body. Her body is reacting the way it's supposed to, to stress. And so she inserted the dilator about a third of the way in and she was feeling a lot of burning and stinging, burning and stinging.
Y'all, instead of me having her pull that dilator out, I said, you know what, she's done this before. She just put it in last week. I know she can do this. How about I have her refocus instead of focusing on the burning. Let's focus on her diaphragm, on her abdominal expansion. Let's focus on her vocalizations.
Let's just sit with the discomfort in this moment. And I coaster through that while including some affirmations. Right, letting her know that she got this, that, that what you're experiencing is normal. let me tell you this, by the end of the session, not only did she have dilator four in, she was on dilator five.
She came in essentially [00:07:00] on dilator three, because four couldn't even get in for the past few days with affirmation, with supporting her and sitting with her in the moment while she is. We're going to run from that feeling of burning and pain and frustration and tears. It can also make us feel, let's talk about this.
It can make us feel like we're failing. It can make us feel like we're feeling when something that's supposed to be natural, right? Supposed to be pain free. It's not happening for us. It's not happening in our marriage. It's not happening. And we're trying to get pregnant. We're trying to, we're trying to date confidently.
We're trying to listen. Let's just be honest. We want to wear a tampon at the beach. You We're trying to do those things and when we're not achieving it, it can make us feel like we're failing. So there was some affirmations involved, normalizing the stress that she was experiencing and also letting her know tightness, pain, all of that is normal.
So I got her to refocus on how do we calm your nervous system from a physical standpoint, right? How can we calm your breathing rate? How can we calm your muscular [00:08:00] reactions? What can we have you do with your knees and your pelvis to start opening up those muscles, right? So if this was a 30 minute session at the end of the session, she was comfortably using size five.
It was tight. Yes. And this is a normal sensation. And so I want to let you know that you can overcome your vaginismus, but you can also reach out and get support. I'm talking about expert professional support. Especially if you can make that sacrifice of time, you can make that sacrifice of effort. Do you have space in your schedule to work with us one on one?
If you have some time, if you have at least two hours a week to dedicate to nurturing your pelvis and overcoming your vaginismus, I'm inviting you right now. If you're ready to overcome this and you're ready to get our help to teach you exactly what to do in those moments when you're ready to cry, give up, pull the dilator out.
I'm talking to you if you're stuck on dilator four, [00:09:00] right? I had another client this week. She was stuck on her dilator for six months. We went up to the next size dilator in the same day. I'm telling you that it's possible. I'm telling you that you're capable. I'm telling you that you can do this, but don't spend more time trying to do it alone if you do not have to.
So I want you to DM me this word on Instagram, go to my Instagram page. If you're following me, vagina rehab, doctor DM me two words by July. I want to help you overcome this by July. I want to see you released into the world of pain free sex, confidence in your body, and a deepened sexual relationship with your partner by July.
Just text me those two words, by July, on Instagram. Send me a private message to set up a free call. So let me talk to you briefly about our free calls. Our free calls are only 20 to 30 minutes. This is where you talk with me, Dr. Janelle Howell, the Vagina Rehab Doctor, about what you're going through. I want to know what you're struggling with.
And I want to know what your goal is by learning those two things. I will have an understanding of what are the blockages, [00:10:00] meaning what are the things that are stopping you from being where you want to be with yourself in your body and with your partner, what are the blockages keeping you from living deeply intimate in a sexual way with your partner?
I can figure that out in that call. And if I feel confident that we can help you, then I say, let's party. Y'all let's work together. And I feel like we can help you come and work with us so that by July. You are released into this new chapter of your life So if that's you and you want to schedule a free call with me, just send me those two words on instagram by july or dm me the word coaching And I will respond with uh access to my calendar so you can talk with me about our one on one services Let me talk a little bit more about that for the finances for the financial, requirement.
You don't have to pay up front If you are in the United States, we partner with a payment platform that can allow you to get started with us and just break up your payment into really small affordable fractions. So we have payment plans available for you. If you're out of the U. S., we have other [00:11:00] options as well in terms of how to break up your payment.
And of course, if you want to pay up front and just go ahead and commit and say, I want to do this, you can pay up front, but we have options. So don't let the money, if that's the only thing holding you back, don't let that hold you back. If you're able to do it under a payment plan, we would love to work with you.
So you have options. You can click the, the link below for a one on one discovery call. Or if you're on Instagram more often, just DM me the word coaching or send me a private message that says by July, I want to see you. Have an amazing sex. I want to hear that you're doing it. That's your, that's your past is, and that you are in a new chapter of your life by July, but we've got to start now.
If you want to see that happen by July, y'all we're talking, we talked about today in summer, just dilation, and how we should normalize those sensations of tightness. Right. If you're feeling mild pain or burning, that's okay. How can you breathe through that? How can you stop and just let go? Sometimes you may need to remove that dilator and try again.
What are some of the things that you can [00:12:00] do to reinforce your body's capability to heal? Your body is normal. Your body is capable. Your body is miraculous. But many times you just need a little bit of support And so if you want ours, you know exactly what to do I am going to let y'all go. Thanks for listening Leave me a five star rating review if you like this podcast Send me some suggestions of what you want to hear and I will talk to y'all again next monday.
Bye y'all