[00:00:00] Welcome, welcome back y'all to another episode of the Vagina Rehab Doctor Podcast. I'm Dr. Janelle Howell. I'm a pelvic floor physical therapist and I am here for all things sexual wellness, orgasms, pleasure, learning about your own anatomy, not being afraid of all that stuff. stuff and, um, getting to know your body, right?
So today we're going to be getting into a topic that is one that we don't hear about much, and that is all about lubes lubricant. Lubricants can be so transformative for your sexual pleasure. For helping you with using dilators if you have a tight pelvic floor if you have sexual pain If you have vaginismus and you're not able to have intercourse or penetration at all We're really going to get into it We're going to get into all the things of how to choose the right lube Which you which lube to use for different things and then how to know if you might need to switch lubricants, okay everything being shared today [00:01:00] is for your educational purposes You Nothing is medical advice.
Okay, so keep that in mind. so we're going to be talking about how to choose the right lube for enhancing sexual pleasure, using dilators, and for vaginal dryness. Okay, so let's talk about sexual pleasure first. here's the thing. When you are aroused in an ideal world, our vagina will lubricate. There is going to be more moisture because of the increased blood flow. That's what arousal is, right? Arousal is just the blood rushing to the clitoris and the vagina. If you have a penis to the penis, and then because of the interstitial spaces, these little spaces in between the tissues, the water portion of the blood seeps through the vaginal canal, it becomes wet.
We also have glands, Bartholin glands. and skein glands that secrete fluid as well [00:02:00] to help decrease friction and discomfort with penetration. So that is the purpose of lubrication and that lubrication, right? The increased fluid and the engorgement, right? So us getting wet, right? You dripping, right? Your undies being wet.
You got a whole spot down there on your panties. That's happening. Mm hmm. And I'm not talking about cervical mucus, right? You're wet because you're ovulating. I'm talking about arousal fluids. So you are aroused and then you're getting wet. Remember that is happening because there is so much blood filling these spaces and filling these organs that there's an overflow, right?
There's an overflow and the watery portion of the blood seeps out, which is perfect. We need that to decrease the friction and the pain or to not have any pain at all. Ideally. So here's the first thing we need to know that that lubrication helps with sensation and with pleasure. So [00:03:00] when you're skipping foreplay, because it's taken too long and home boy doesn't want to do it, or maybe you don't even want to do it.
Sometimes you, sometimes us, sometimes we want to skip the foreplay and get right to it, right? We are skipping the potential of feeling more because the water and the moisture actually helps. With the sensation to be more comfortable and it can enhance a sense of pleasure So that's the first thing you want to know when you when you choose to use lubricant for sex Then know this it is a sexual enhancement tool that can upgrade your sex life All right, there are people who use lubricant just for the increased pleasure not because they're dry So know that you can use a lubricant, even if you are not dry, because it can help to make things feel better.
Okay. Better. And we're trying to get you to finish an [00:04:00] orgasm. Okay. Especially if it doesn't hurt. Some people have painful orgasms, and that could be pelvic floor dysfunction. so keep that in mind, but that's the first thing you should know. So if you are trying to use lube for increased pleasure, then I would consider a water based lube.
And the reason why I say this is because water based lubes are the most similar to your own natural lubrication, nature knows best, right? Nature, mama nature, we cannot argue with her. Okay, so if mama nature says that your natural lube is water based and you want sex to feel better Then that's why I would recommend a water based lubricant Water based lubes that do not have fragrances in them are going to be key ones that are on the natural side.
No. Okay. If your lubricant says it tastes like peaches and it's edible. Nope. That's the ones you do not want to use. You want to actually protect your [00:05:00] vagina by not using lubes that have all these additives and chemicals and fragrances because we don't want our vaginal ph to be disrupted and then we got a fishy smell or then we have a yeast infection.
So we want to be as nice to our coochie as possible. Okay. So that's what I recommend if you're looking to enhance your sense of pleasure. But the other thing I would state is that if you are, you know, interested in a, in a lube for sexual pleasure and you're interested in something aside from a water based, then I would also consider an oil based lube.
There are people who use, uh, coconut oil, organic coconut oil. there's other different types of oil. You can use, some people use almond oil, but you're, but you're going to want to use one that is not An essential oil. Okay. You're not going to be wanting to put essential oils in your vagina. That's a no no Essential oils down there can can cause some burning and all that so oil based or water based if you're [00:06:00] going for more pleasure with sex like listen, I want to feel more tingles I want to squirm a little bit more with sex.
Like I want to, I want some help to reach the orgasm. Lube alone is probably not going to be what helps you reach the orgasm, but just for, for pleasure overall, that's what I would suggest. Okay. So now let's move on to dilators. I cannot stress the importance of using the right lubricant when you are dilating.
I just got done with my eight week group program for vaginismus and we're done now. Last week we ended, last week, and many of them stated, they said, Janelle, I wish I knew that my lubricant was contributing to the burning I was feeling using my dilators. Listen, this is the reality that some of you are dilating on your own at home.
You have not consulted with a pelvic floor physical therapist. Maybe you're not able to afford it at this time. Maybe you don't have the actual capacity to get to a pelvic floor therapist. Maybe you're just not even [00:07:00] ready to talk about it with someone publicly. There's a lot of barriers, right? But can you imagine?
You've been dilating for years trying to get to the place where you can have intercourse with your partner. You're feeling shame. You're feeling broken. You're feeling alone. And part of the problem is that you were having so much burning with dilators that you weren't able to progress. You're stuck on the same dilator.
For months some people for over a year and what I told one of my one of my clients in the vaginist Mr. Vaginalicious group program is all online. All of it is remote. I told her when she kept bringing up this burning I said I want you to switch to an oil based lube and she switched. Do you know It made all of the difference.
She had absolutely no more burning with dilation and that enabled her to actually Progress through her dilators move on to the bigger one then move on to the next size and then eventually move on to penetrative Intercourse with [00:08:00] her husband. They are now having the sex buttery nasty Okay, penis and vagina sex Vaginismus canceled.
And of course it wasn't just the lube, right? It was the community aspect that she got in that in our program, right? She worked with me every single week. It was 90 minutes every week. There was consistency, no weeks off, right? There was encouragement. There was strategy. There was education. I taught every single week.
We didn't just go straight to exercises or dilators. We actually talked about the science of vaginismus. We talked about the anatomy of the vagina, the anatomy of the clitoris. We talked about pleasure. We talked about dilators and what's normal to feel when you're dilated. We talked about how to move through pain.
All of that stuff we went over. However, I would be remiss if I didn't share with you all that her switching her lubricant, I believe made a difference. And so if you are dilating and you're feeling tons and tons of burning with your, with your [00:09:00] dilation process, I'm not saying that it is the lubricant. It is very, very, very common to have burning from pelvic floor dysfunction in the vaginismus itself.
And as the muscles stretch and get more flexible, that burning can go down. That's what I usually see with my clients. However, sometimes lubricants have different ingredients in them that can contribute to a burning sensation. Oils, on the other hand, usually do not have those ingredients. Okay. So, uh, organic coconut oil or an almond oil or any of those things can help decrease that burning sensation, which will allow you to not be so afraid and worried about pain and all of that.
And it can help you to just go ahead and dominate those dilators so you can move on. Whether you moving on to a dildo, are you moving on to a dick, whatever you're moving on to baby, we want you to move on. And so, that's what I want you to keep in mind for, for dilation. On the other [00:10:00] hand, water based lubes for a lot of people work just fine.
So I'm not saying it's one or the other, I'm saying sometimes you just need to experiment and try something else if it's not working. For the most part, most, I would say most of our clients actually do use water based and I can tell that any sensations that they're having, it's from their pelvic floor, right?
It's not from the lube. Water based lubes, again, need to be unscented, no fragrances. Okay? Because we don't want that to be contributing to your burning. Um, so that's, that's my spiel on using lubricants for your dilators. And Here, here's the other thing. When you're dilating, I want you to know you're nothing is wrong with you if you're feeling a lot of tightness.
That is part of the vaginismus. That is literally what's causing the vaginismus in combination usually with some level of fear of insertion or fear of pain. But that alone doesn't create the vaginismus. It is a combination between [00:11:00] significant tightness. So if you're dilating and you feel tightness, a lot of it is That's normal.
That's part of the process. And as long as you keep going right with breaks in between and recovery, not die landing every single day, please don't do that. you're going to get there. And I see that with, with our clients in our community all the time. So I have faith that, this is not the end.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Okay. And, link in a description, if you want to work with us one on one, that's a, that's an option for you if you want to do that. But let's now talk about. Let's now talk about, using lubricant for vaginal dryness. So if you're losing lubricant for dryness, right, it's just not getting wet down there.
Listen, it is, it is the Sahara. Okay. It is dry down there. First, just consider that you may want to just check in with your doctor first. I don't know if you're in perimenopause menopause, I don't know your medical conditions. So you cannot always assume that you just need to grab a lubricant, check on your nutrients.
Are you deficient in vitamin D, vitamin [00:12:00] B? Be an iron if your iron is low that can contribute to dryness, but then beyond those medical things, right? Talking from a DIY, do it yourself perspective, using lube, obviously is a great way to help. And one of the things that you can do is tap into a silicone based lube because silicone lasts longer.
So if your issue is that your vagina is dry and it's not lubricating, then if you're using a water based lube, that's going to evaporate more quickly than a silicone one. And it's going to evaporate more quickly than an oil base. So if your main issue is that it's dry, then I would recommend silicone or oil.
If you are someone who gets wet, but just not wet enough, a water based may work just fine for you. Right. But I do find that people who use silicone based lubes, notice that that lube stays in there longer and you're able to last longer. Don't have on the fan, baby. If you got on the fan, you're getting some [00:13:00] head or you're having sex, you're getting late and the fan is on that thing is drying you out faster.
So I want y'all to keep that in mind. Okay. So come back to this episode. If you're ever wondering about which lubricants to use for sexual pleasure, for dilation and vaginismus or just pelvic floor tightness, and for sure for vaginal dryness, if you want to work with us for sexual pain or vaginismus, We work with people all over the world and our average amount of sessions needed to help you overcome Sexual pain or vaginismus is eight to nine sessions.
Not that many So click the link in the description if you're interested in a one on one free call with me to discuss our one on one coaching y'all I'll talk to y'all again next monday. Bye
