Episode 12: How to Budget your Energy and Change your Life with Emily Steines

Do you feel drained, but can't quite figure out why?

Are you walking through your life simply reacting to everything that's happening around you?

In this episode of the podcast my guest, holistic health expert Emily Steines, shares how to budget your energy so you can reconnect with yourself, feel better and improve your quality of life.

Episode highlights:

• Identifying your energy givers and energy suckers
• How to connect with your body and really listen to what it has to tell you
• Challenging your beliefs about success
• Learning lessons from burnout
• Redefining your relationship with technology
• The power of setting an intention for your day
• Acknowledging your coping mechanisms and shifting the unhelpful ones
• The mindfulness, movement and nourishment trifecta 
• Practical techniques and tools to calm your nervous system and tune in to what YOU want

Amidst our hustle and grind society this is a powerful and much needed conversation to have about reframing success and self-care.

Visit Emily's website: www.boopbod.com

Connect with Emily on Instagram: @boopbod

Enjoy 15% off Emily's app and course by using the code PODCAST here.

If you've got big goals, but you're totally stuck about where to start, I invite you to book a complimentary strategy call with me here.

We'll uncover what's holding you back from the goals you want to achieve and you'll leave the call with actionable steps to get you moving in the right direction.

For the tea on me, how I work, who I coach and the packages I offer, please visit my website - www.emmaobriencoach.com

You can also connect with me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach where I share an abundance of tools, strategies and brilliant content, you might also see the occasional dog.

Check out two of my FREE online workshops:

My 7 Step Formula for Getting Unstuck

4 Ways to Stop Procrastination in its Tracks

Transcript

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Emma O'Brien: Hi folks welcome to season 2. Episode 12 of the lemons and pineapples. Podcast today, my guest is emily staines. And we're talking about energy, budgeting to create a life with more joy and ease. First, st about a little bit about my guest. Emily is the founder of Boop Bod. Her work combines science, spirituality, and somatics to help us disrupt self, sabotaging patterns.

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Emma O'Brien: and step into our true power and aliveness. She has over 15 years of experience as a life and embodiment coach. She's a 500 h registered Yoga. Teacher, an in holistic health coach, an Sfg. Kettlebell trainer and a breathwork facilitator.

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Emma O'Brien: Emily's mission is to help you unlock the wisdom and intelligence residing within your body. Nervous system, intuition and unconscious mind reigniting your true essence and fulfillment. Welcome to the podcast emily, that is, quite a resume.

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Emily Steines: It's quite a mouthful. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to be here.

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Emma O'Brien: So I'm really looking forward to this conversation today. Can you kick us off by just sharing what is energy budgeting.

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Emily Steines: Yeah, absolutely. So, I feel like, even before going into what energy budgeting and is I just want to name, like

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Emily Steines: the fact that we are all energy, like literally, our muscles and tissues break down to our cells that break down to molecules and atoms and subatomic particles. And those particles are. It's literally energy, and that energy can't be created nor destroy. We probably maybe remember that back in our early science classes.

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Emily Steines: And there's a lot that impacts our energy like, it's not just about like, Oh, I'm energized. I've got a lot of energy to go do the things I want to do, or I'm tired. That's definitely a piece of it. But when we think about

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Emily Steines: the frequency or the state of our energy and the energy that we're in that's impacted by our thoughts and emotions that's impacted by our environment, that's impacted by the people we surround ourselves with. That's impacted by even the food we ingest the news and information that we take in it's impacted by so many different things. So when it comes to energy budgeting, it's thinking about like, what are we expending? What are we saving? What are we investing

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Emily Steines: like? How is that energy in versus energy, out practice happening? And for most of us, if we're not thinking about it or being intentional.

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Emily Steines: we're kind of just like

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Emily Steines: I always think about. We're just like moving through life like bouncing from one thing to the next, and reacting as opposed to being really intentional, about like where our boundaries are, what we actually are receiving and taking in that feels supportive versus receiving and taking in that kind of creates us to feel drained or depleted. So kind of the core of energy budgeting is really recognizing

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Emily Steines: what we're taking in and what we're giving out, and maybe what we're reserving to protect our own energy. And again, that can connect to like feeling energized or feeling tired, or it can really impact our mood, our own confidence, the way that we feel about ourselves, the way that we interact with the world. It can kind of have this like ripple effect that impacts everything that we do and experience.

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Emma O'Brien: Yeah, amazing. And I thank you for for clarifying that it's interesting. I've been on a journey for the past 18 months. Of, I've been started working with a shaman, and I'm now training to be a shaman, and I'm busy prepping for an Ayahuasca ceremony in 10 days time

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Emma O'Brien: and part of the preparation of that is starting to look at what you're eating.

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Emma O'Brien: and that's I mean, I'm I've I stick to a mostly Vegan diet, but I have not been very good with.

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Emma O'Brien: I have a lot of sugar, and I've started to, you know, read up on it, and started to cut back on

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Emma O'Brien: on that which is interesting. Because I'm currently at the stage where I think my body would really like some sugar. And I was rummaging around the cupboard earlier. There is a chocolate bar, and then I was going. No, have a handful of raw nuts. Much better so, but I think it is. It's 1 of the the to to come back to. The point is.

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Emma O'Brien: we're often very unconscious of what we are putting in our bodies, and how that affects how we feel, and I think the journey I've been on of my own coaching journey is, and and the coaching training I've done is being very aware of starting to look at the clients I've got of.

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Emma O'Brien: A lot of them are feeling overwhelmed. They're depressed. They're very anxious.

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Emma O'Brien: and I'm not a nutritionist, but starting to look at, what are people eating?

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Emma O'Brien: Because 90% of our serotonin is made in our gut, and if you're filling your body with crap.

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Emma O'Brien: it's no wonder your mind feels terrible.

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Emma O'Brien: and I think it's beginning to

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Emma O'Brien: help people put that connection into place. And I think so many people are disconnected from

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Emma O'Brien: like you said, from what you're eating, from the energy you're absorbing from other people, from the news.

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Emma O'Brien: And it's very. This is a great conversation to be having to remind people that you actually have a choice

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Emma O'Brien: about what you're ingesting.

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Emma O'Brien: you know, from all angles.

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Emily Steines: Absolutely, absolutely. Also, I just want to name like sending you all the love for your ayahuasca experience that's so cool. Thanks so beautiful that you're doing that.

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Emily Steines: Yeah, I think I I might I myself included in terms of living disconnected. That's like a huge piece of my story of like I was so disconnected that I like ended up hospitalized at some point. And it was like, because of this, I was very much stuck in that people pleasing, or the over giving, or the perfectionist, or the do do, and the grind mode, and just like

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Emily Steines: so fixated unconsciously like I wasn't aware of at the time, but so fixated on all of those things, and checking all those boxes, that there really was no connection to self, no knowing of these signals, no, even even though there were so many scientific signals of me, literally exhausted, depleted, having no energy, craving sugar, feeling resentful to hang out with friends like all like or not resentful to hang out with friends, but resentful to do my

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Emily Steines: job that I had once loved, and then having a hard time, even socializing, or like wanting to hang out with my friends like there were so many signs. Right? And that's it's

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Emily Steines: it's if we don't like stop ourselves and actually check in it. We can get to points where it's like we kind of hit our own rock bottom, which I'm really grateful for that moment. It really shifted the trajectory of my life. But like also, if we can prevent it, that would be amazing and help us feel a little bit more empowered. But yeah, we really do have control over what we're taking in and what we're

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Emily Steines: leaving out. And I like to think of them as like energy givers and suckers. And we get to like, sit down and actually determine what goes on that list. And it gets to be very unique for you, doesn't. It's probably not going to be the same list as mine, or the same list as yours, and I think it's really important to even take some time to reflect on, like

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Emily Steines: what gives you energy, what drains your energy? Happy to give examples if you think it's helpful. But that's like, I think that's 1 of the the 1st steps, when it comes to energy. Budgeting is like what what goes on each side of each of those columns.

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Emma O'Brien: Yeah, absolutely. And I can unfortunately also relate to having a bit of a wake up call. I I had a huge episode. It sounds sounds to me from from the what you've described, that you had a big episode of burnout. I also had an episode of burnout in 2,016,

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Emma O'Brien: and I have never felt so awful. It was one it was, I think it probably is, the worst experience of my life to date. It was horrendous, and

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Emma O'Brien: I tried to push through the burnout and keep working because I was in a stage. You know, I've been running my own business for 20 years, and I'd got into a horrible pattern of kind of over giving under, earning, running out of time, trying to do everything, not wanting to let anybody down because I was worried that if I if I say no to somebody I'm gonna have, I'm gonna have no money. I'm gonna have no clients, and I think this is such a familiar pattern for people.

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Emma O'Brien: I tried to push through the burnout and then the universe gave me a wonderful gift of a back injury which made me I I ended up in hospital for 3 days.

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Emma O'Brien: It made me lie down, and it made me wake up and realize if I have no use of my body.

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Emma O'Brien: I can't work. Anyway, I'm no use to anybody if I don't care for myself, but I think this is something I hear, and I'm sure you hear often.

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Emma O'Brien: It's the same story of people. Don't listen, and we keep pushing through until everything collapses. And you actually anybody listening here? I don't want to be dishing advice out or telling anyone how to do anything, but if you can take a lesson from this conversation

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Emma O'Brien: is, do you don't need to let it get to the point where you're hospitalized, where you have a complete nervous system collapse. I was very lucky. I don't know what I did to my back, but it wasn't anything permanent. It was incredibly painful, but thankfully it wasn't a slip disc or anything.

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Emma O'Brien: because my life literally flashed before my eyes. My other business. I'm a photographer, and I just thought I, if I can't walk, and if I'm in constant pain. I have no business, and I've been working so hard

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Emma O'Brien: for what was the question that came up for me? And I think this is a question I would invite people listening to ask themselves, if you are working yourself into oblivion. For what?

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Emma O'Brien: What are you doing it for?

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Emma O'Brien: Because I I and it's a pattern I I hear, with people of. I'm going to enjoy life when I retire, but if you work yourself into oblivion, I hear I've heard lots of people tell me things that people get to retirement age and then drop dead.

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Emma O'Brien: Life is is precious, and we have to enjoy it now, and it means making big changes.

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Emma O'Brien: So I would love to hear Emily from you.

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Emma O'Brien: What kind of changes can we start to make to

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Emma O'Brien: energy budget more effectively.

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Emily Steines: Yeah, absolutely.

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Emily Steines: 1st of all, I just love everything that you said. And I think the the other piece of that is recognizing how

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Emily Steines: much like what signals

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Emily Steines: come up for us. So even as we're having this conversation. And you know, we're both sharing our experience of kind of hitting our own like rock bottom, like really very alarming. Wake up! Call that. We hope other people don't have to experience but hopefully, also being able to witness these like little signals that that surface of whether that's like your signals for burnout or signals for for me, just to name in case it resonates like, I know for me. If I'm starting to feel like a lot of resistance or

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Emily Steines: like I like, I'm literally like tightening my fist like that's what it feels like in my body like this gripping, or this resistance or this forcing or trying to control things in my world where there's like, I'm really.

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Emily Steines: Things aren't feeling in ease or flow or I'm not. It doesn't feel like I'm as easily able to like pivot or adjust when things don't go the way that I had envisioned right that like gripping piece, which then for me also, there's also there's some like frustration and anger that comes online. Whether or not I let myself express it. Depending on the day is is different. But really those are. Those are like my initial signals of like, wait a second.

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Emily Steines: Something is out of alignment here. Something isn't right. Let me slow down. Let me check in. Am I saying yes to things that actually are a no for me. Am I trying to control something that's really out of my control? And I'm putting way too much energy into this thing. That's just gonna drain me when literally, I have no control over it. Right? So starting to like, maybe.

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Emily Steines: as we all navigate our days like starting to recognize, maybe. What are some of those signals for us? I don't know if you want to share any of yours. If you have any different ones before I go into some other practices.

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Emma O'Brien: Yeah. And I think I'm I'm really glad you brought that up. I think it's so important. So for me, a big signal that I'm heading to burnout is starting to get really irritated with clients, and I am somebody who

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Emma O'Brien: I pride myself on giving great service to people. I mean. I'd shifted my business massively after my episode of burnout. So my business now looks very different to to how it did then, but when I start to feel overloaded. I start to feel irritated. The slightest request. I want to send a reply that's not very polite, which is totally unreasonable. Nobody's asking. Do you know when people it's like Oh, my God! If there's just one more request, I can't deal with it.

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Emma O'Brien: I think, when it's when your cup is getting to the point of this, starting to overflow with too many things to deal with. That for me is a big is a big signal that I know I recognize and think.

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Emma O'Brien: hang on a minute.

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Emma O'Brien: This is, things aren't going so well. So I need to make some adjustments here. I need to push some timelines out. I need to start putting some more boundaries down.

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Emma O'Brien: It's something I've got much, much better about, because, I say, I don't ever want to experience what I experienced when I was burnt out again. But I think it's so interesting. One of the things that comes up for me in coaching sessions with my clients is, a lot of people actually aren't in touch with their bodies enough to pick up on these signals.

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Emily Steines: No.

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Emma O'Brien: Think a lot of people end up so disconnected

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Emma O'Brien: that you need to take a step back. And I know you're going to talk to us about this, and start to actually notice what's going on within your body, so you can pick up sooner when things are out of whack that it doesn't have to get to the stage where you're ready to tell a client to go, you know.

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Emma O'Brien: Okay, stuff themselves when you know when it's when, when they've not asked for anything unreasonable.

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Emma O'Brien: Just trying to think other things. I think my anxiety will ramp up, and when I'm very anxious I struggle to sleep. So I think that's quite a common symptom for.

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Emily Steines: Yeah. It's a good.

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Emma O'Brien: For people with burnout. I think we have to watch that burnout and depression have quite similar crossover symptoms, but I think

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Emma O'Brien: and I know, for some people when they're burnt out, or

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Emma O'Brien: in a kind of similar situation, or anxious. I know some people sleep a lot more, because it's almost a way of shutting down. Unfortunately for me, that doesn't happen. So I end up not being able to sleep, and then it just fuels the cycle of being frustrated and irritated, and not being able to cope when you're not sleeping properly. And I think that's how burnout you sort of start to end up in a pattern where you're literally circling the drain with it, because all of the unhelpful signals

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Emma O'Brien: that's your body going. Hello! I need a break. I need you to stop.

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Emma O'Brien: Yeah, when you try and fight through it, it just gets worse and worse and worse.

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Emily Steines: Yeah, yeah, thank you for sharing that. I think you're so spot on to in naming that like burnout and depression can kind of be hard to discern, like which one we're at. And like, I know, you recently posted an episode on nervous system kind of the basics of nervous system regulation. And it's 1 of my passions of sharing information, too, because it's like, it's literally what's operating constantly. And if we can get in the driver's seat. It's like what a shift we can create game changer.

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Emma O'Brien: That's it. Yeah.

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Emily Steines: Changer, and I think that that, along with some of the other things that I'll share are ways that we can actually start to reconnect to our body, into our knowing, into what are the, what are our own signals, whether it's an emotion, whether it's a physical sensation, whether it's a thought. That kind of is a repeating pattern that comes up when we're in a certain state. But yeah, with like the burnout and shutdown, it's kind of that when we're in that activated like sympathetic, anxious, or fighting

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Emily Steines: flight or hustle mode for too long, we shift into

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Emily Steines: the it's the dorsal vagal which is kind of that shutdown mode which can be very much the depressant depression, and between those states is actually that freeze mode which is that like there's so much internal anxiety. I have to. I have to. But like we aren't taking action. So it is. It's really important to.

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Emily Steines: I mean, I we're both biased because we we like our. This work is important to us. But I really do think it's it can be life changing information. Once we actually understand ourselves in this way? So hopefully, even in this conversation, I can give some really tangible, some tangible tips and and things, and then, you know, sharing other resources beyond that.

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Emily Steines: But I I also, before getting into the details, not to keep postponing it. But I really want to name how important it is that we we have to like, be willing to dismantle the expectations that we may have placed on ourselves, or that we have learned from society. We have learned from, you know. However, many years of like saying, I'm so busy or stacking on all of our responsibilities has become like this badge of honor when, like I'm no longer living in that

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Emily Steines: reality like that is not something I'm buying into like. I am not going to celebrate myself for being stacked full from morning to night.

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Emma O'Brien: No.

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Emily Steines: The week. So recognizing if that's a piece of your own worth or worthiness, right? We can go kind of into the unconscious piece here, but like really recognizing maybe where

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Emily Steines: and what you're attaching, like your good enough, or your worthiness, or what a success looks like to you, and recognizing if it is going nonstop and trying to achieve, achieve the grind, the hustle, all of that without any sort of rest or without play, or without

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Emily Steines: presence with yourself or your family, etc. So, recognizing your own beliefs around that. And then I also want to name, like the reality we live in today is not natural for humans, right?

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Emma O'Brien: Like we are.

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Emily Steines: We have never been meant to be like accessible 24, 7. And so whether that's you're an entrepreneur, and you have clients, or whether that's your other. You know your, the your 9 to 5 that you're working. Even family members like the fact that we have devices where we can connect is like so amazing and beautiful and brilliant. And at the same time

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Emily Steines: we get to decide when we're actually in communication or not, we get to decide our hours of like

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Emily Steines: I am from these. From at this point in my day I'm going to stay present with whoever's physically in my home, and I'm not engaging with anyone outside of that work or any incoming text related. Right? And I know

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Emily Steines: I try to do a really good job of this of like naming

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Emily Steines: that like I see a text. If I if it just feels urgent like I see this, I will respond tomorrow right? But also trusting, like we all are in a reality, that we're constantly being fed and bombarded. And I think sometimes, especially if we have the people pleasing tendencies, we feel anxious. So we feel like we're letting someone down. If we don't reply right away. And that's just like it. Let's just release that thought. That idea of that, we have to reply, and we have to

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Emily Steines: be accessible 24, 7. I think that in and of itself, if we can really

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Emily Steines: embody that, and decide what our own boundaries are around. That can be a huge saver of our energy. It can really protect our energies that we don't get into this burnout state. So yeah, just wanted to name those 2 of like, what expectations that we have or that society has placed on us, and recognizing that we're kind of in a reality that humans really haven't experienced before. You know the last, however, many years. And really taking that to heart and recognizing that that doesn't mean we have

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Emily Steines: to live by the technology that we have access to

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Emily Steines: But when it comes to like some tactical and tangible practices I like to think about. There's a few different ways to do it. So I like to think about your day literally, just one day at a time

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Emily Steines: and breaking things down. I mentioned the energy givers and energy suckers like some for me, like energy givers for me, getting enough sleep right prioritizing sleep. Other givers for me are starting my day for me. I talk a lot about my morning routine, and mine may be more extensive than others.

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Emily Steines: but it. You can literally spend 30 seconds to 2 min as a way to fill yourself up like we. I talk a lot about starting our day for you, because, yeah, even if we get enough sleep, we could think like I'm starting full. I mean, I I'm a glass half full kind of gal, but realistically, if we start our day, we just roll out of bed and go into it

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Emily Steines: without doing anything that actually gets us to be connected to ourselves, or present or intentional with how we want to feel that day, or just serving our being nourishing ourselves in some way. We're not. I. I don't believe we're necessarily starting full right like, I think, even if we got a full night's sleep.

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Emily Steines: it we're still kind of at this place where, however, our day goes. It's more of a reaction like we're just reacting to things which can kind of decrease what's in our cup as opposed to if we start our day for us in our morning routine, and I'll share some examples of what that can be

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Emily Steines: that we we kind of like bring ourselves up to full, so that not only are we moving through our day intentionally that we might react to things differently or might respond to things differently, but that we're we have more in our take that won't be depleted as fast. So like really starting your day. That for me at least, is a huge energy giver, and I've lived a big chunk of my life where I would roll out of bed and go right to work.

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Emily Steines: roll out of bed, and go open a gym at 4, 45 in the morning, or roll out of bed and go sit at my computer. There was literally no minutes for me. It just went straight straight to work. So I've lived that reality, and I know how that feels. And I've also lived on this kind of other end of the spectrum, where I have a very fairly lengthy morning routine, and I've done.

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Emma O'Brien: You.

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Emily Steines: I think it's.

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Emma O'Brien: Brilliant.

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Emily Steines: Yeah.

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Emily Steines: Yeah. The other things I, you know, getting outside right, whether it's sunshine or not, just like being in nature, huge energy giver for me in terms of even feeling the difference between I'm energized, but thinking more about, just like the frequency of having fresh air and being in nature and feeling that connection to Mama nature, or just Earth, or just getting outside of

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Emily Steines: the 4 walls of your office or your home that you're in. It's like a a reset button that really serves me. And again, as we're talking about thinking about the foods that serve you, I always like to name this, that when we talk about nervous system regulation, too, that you know, caffeine, even though we might love our coffee or energy drinks, or whatever you're drinking, that actually might be something that

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Emily Steines: actually drains you right. It might cause it might give you more anxiety if you're someone that's struggling with anxiety, or you're in a heightened, sympathetic state or season of life. It actually might not be a true energy giver, even though we think caffeine gives me energy. So just being really again checking in with yourself and recognizing these things, and the same thing for the energy suckers of like what people is it like certain people that you

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Emily Steines: engage with as whether it's family members or coworkers that you want to like. Set a boundary with and be like, okay, I can only talk to them for 2 min, and then I need to say, like, I'm getting back to work.

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Emily Steines: Have a good day right? Like. Wh, what are those things? Same thing with foods there, same thing with even like your rituals of like working out like, are you does working out in the morning. Give you energy. Are you more of a lunchtime? Does that give you that boost for the rest of the day? Maybe working out in the evening actually impacts your sleep. So you notice that that's not actually giving you energy, right? And all these things are can really vary from person to person. But then, starting your day with those kind of energy givers and suckers. It's like.

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Emily Steines: How how do you want to start your day? And what do you want? That's a question I ask all the time, because we can both share all the tips and tricks in the world, and hope that something lands

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Emily Steines: But really recognizing that you're the one that knows you best, and you get to be the the final deciding factor. And just because we certain things work for us doesn't mean they work for everyone else. Right? So I think how you start your day, your morning routine, and some of those examples simple ones, like the most simple could just be pausing, taking a deep breath, maybe 3 deep breaths

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Emily Steines: and saying, Today I choose to feel, or my intention for take today is, and just naming that like out loud naming it in your mind. It can be that small, that simple, and it might seem like

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Emily Steines: super small and simple, but our intention, like your intention, is literally where your energy, your energy, is being directed right. And again, if we roll out of bed and just go into life. There's not really any where we're aiming. There's no intention present. So even just pausing and being like today, I choose to feel grounded. Or today, I choose to feel really productive. Or today, I choose to feel patient because I know I've got a lot going on.

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Emily Steines: And I'm gonna let myself allow myself to claim patience today. And just that intention setting and the breath, if you can add those breaths in, is a way for you to actually connect and pause, fill yourself up a little bit, so that as you're going through your day with that word, or with that intention in mind, if something ruffles your feathers, and your intention was patience.

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Emily Steines: You have that signal already that you've planted, or that seed rather, that you planted, you can check in and be like, oh, yeah, patience. My attention is patience, and it might give you permission to like pause again, or to reorient yourself to react slightly differently than maybe you would if you didn't have that. So that's like the the teeniest one that feels like a non negotiable like it like it's it's anyone can do that right

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Emily Steines: other ways that I like to start my morning is I mean, I have, like I mentioned, extensive. I do my morning warm lemon water for my gut health, and I do all these other things, but for me, presence in silence and mindfulness of some kind, and then movement and nourishment.

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Emily Steines: So, and they all really nourish in some way, but like nourishment for me, meaning like a nourishing breakfast, like an intentional meal. But starting with as you talked about. We're so disconnected from how we actually feel. So actually giving yourself the space to

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Emily Steines: notice how you feel, to recognize. And that could be through meditation that could be through breath work that could be literally sitting in silence and just letting your thoughts go through and letting yourself notice how you're feeling in your body, noticing what you're stressing about that for that day that can then maybe inform you of your intention for your day. Right? But giving yourself.

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Emily Steines: We we we truly can't hear our own inner knowing, or our voice or intuition, or connect with even how we're feeling. If we don't actually pause and check in right. So much energy and focus is outward. It's like giving ourselves just that pause where we can focus inward. Not only can give us and kind of boost our energy bank.

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Emily Steines: but it actually can inform us on what else we might need throughout the day. So like that starting your day is

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Emily Steines: is like chef's kiss. Right? Is like starting with some sort of intentional presence. The movement I also love it's like it is very from a from a physiological standpoint can actually give us energy when we start our day with movement that can kind of maybe even boost our confidence and just help our clarity and our mental focus. So there's a lot of other benefits to that, to the movement as well. But I would encourage if you're already moving your body. Maybe you can add in

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Emily Steines: a minute, 2 min something very accessible of just presence and stillness before, after your workout like enter kind of a habit stacking in in that way. The same thing with your throughout your day is like, how are you prioritizing your day? Talk about like time blocking a lot or prioritizing your tasks. And recognizing

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Emily Steines: again, kind of this whole dismantling of like we have to be. Go, go, go, go, go like. Can you actually add in breaks in your schedule? Can you give yourself like an hour block instead of 30 min for lunch, where you can actually get outside, or go go do a meditation or stretch, or just like

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Emily Steines: let yourself recalibrate, or maybe let yourself call a friend and get an energy boost from somebody that you love and that lights you up. Can you? Can you literally carve out time for your social time, or literally again, just your me time? Can you really actually build that in? So it's not. Everything on your schedule is productive.

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Emily Steines: or is

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Emily Steines: is maybe something that where it requires you to give energy out like, can you add things in and prioritize things literally in your schedule each day where you get to take in?

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Emily Steines: And I know that

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Emily Steines: that at 1st for me was hard like I would put it in my schedule, be like, Wow! Look at it like, did it? And then I would so easily. Just be like.

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Emily Steines: get caught up in what I was doing, and like totally forego that 30 min, or 20 min, or whatever I put in there. So give yourself grace, but also like schedule it in really build it in and I also like to think about seasons of our life too, and and how that gets to fluctuate. We are not robots. We are never meant to be

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Emily Steines: just on 24, 7, and 3, 65, and so, recognizing that we have our own kind of ebbs and flows, and some seasons where we're really going at it. And we're really in this like productive

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Emily Steines: action, goal, focus, mode and other seasons where we might dwindle, we actually need more lulls and need more rest. And that's actually we can honor the more we connect to our body. We can honor those seasons to kind of regain whether that's taking a vacation or taking a mental health day, or, you know.

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Emily Steines: take putting less on our schedule or not taking on more projects at work, etc, like giving ourselves a little lull. And really that also helps us tap back into our creative juices, especially as entrepreneurs, but like tapping back into our desires and our dreams, and what we want, and giving ourselves that space to then get back into the taking action and goal. It's kind of like this beautiful cycle. I speak to it a lot in my mentorship program. But

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Emily Steines: recognizing that we do ebb and flow when we go through these natural seasons, if we allow ourselves to right. And that's also how we prevent burnout. So maybe looking at, you know, the back half of the year or the next quarter, and recognizing like, is there a knowing around? This is a season where I'm like. This is my go mode. I'm feeling the energy. I've got a lot of goals in mind. I'm ready to like. Just hit the ground running, and there's excitement here. Or maybe you're really finding that resistance and like forcing and struggling mode.

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Emily Steines: and that gets to be a signal of like, maybe I need to step back and actually let this next

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Emily Steines: month.

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Emily Steines: even 2 weeks, even day like, be a moment for me to like

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Emily Steines: rest and create more space and silence, so that I can use that as moment my momentum to pick things back up when when I feel ready. So that, like cycling piece, is also really important to to recognize and start to like.

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Emily Steines: uncover in ourself. And then the last piece. So like morning kind of how we're prioritizing our day. Recognizing these seasons, we we go through, and then evening, just to really kind of dissect it simply, but checking into your evening routines. I'm sure we've heard or seen. You know, the impact of being like on devices right before bed. But recognizing for you like we might think that, like scrolling on our phone or numbing out watching Netflix or TV

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Emily Steines: feels like we're rejuvenating. And we're resting. And now it can be if we're being mindful. And we're actually present. Or we are watching a show that we really love. And we're connecting to the characters. It's actually a form of Co regulation for our nervous system. It can be supportive. But if we're mindlessly like just going and numbing out and scrolling, that's just another way. We're disconnecting. And it's actually not

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Emily Steines: resourcing us. It's not giving us energy. And having that honest check in with yourself and recognizing. Okay, yeah, I do want to scroll. There's a pleasure in scrolling, even if it's numbing out. Okay, cool. Maybe you do it

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Emily Steines: at right after dinner, and you give yourself space and then past that point, when it gets closer to bedtime. You take a bath or you read, or you turn off your devices. You do a meditation. You create a different type of ritual that isn't scrolling until you realize it's 2 h past when you wanted to go to sleep, and then you try to

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Emily Steines: force yourself to go to bed, and you get less less of a of a night's sleep. So, recognizing again what's feeling good and being really honest with yourself, I think, is the the bottom line to all of this. Not only is what do you want and what feels good to you, but also really being honest with yourself, and recognizing that maybe some of the practices that we have are actually more unsupportive, like kind of coping mechanisms or numbing mechanisms as opposed to act.

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Emily Steines: Actually having you feel like it's supporting you, nourishing you, giving you energy.

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Emily Steines: That was a lot

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Emma O'Brien: Lot of fabulous information. Actually, I think there's so much in there, Emily, thank you for sharing I just wanted to to come back to what you were saying about. Often people use success as a badge of honor, and I know I can very much relate to that, and I think it's often a source of validation as well, and when you're seeking external validation it's exhausting because you never quite get it. You might have it one day, but not the next, and it's almost an addiction.

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Emma O'Brien: and I think

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Emma O'Brien: part of that also, I think, being busy all the time, can be an avoidance of sitting with yourself, because it's hard to sit with yourself. I think I know lots of people, and I've coached people who are almost addicted to that

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Emma O'Brien: busy drama.

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Emily Steines: Yep. Yep.

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Emma O'Brien: Because actually, it's frightening to pause.

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Emma O'Brien: because there's lots of stuff that will start to come up. And I think the thing to do with that is, you don't have to pause for 3 days and sit with it all. You can pause for 10 min. One of the things I'm such a geek is. I love to go and sit in the garden and listen to the birds, so I know which birds I've got, and I'm very excited if I hear a new bird call, and I'm thinking, Oh, who's that? And the Bird Book comes out, but

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Emma O'Brien: it gives it. It gives me enormous happiness and calmness to just go and sit in the garden and listen to the birds. So if

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Emma O'Brien: you are somebody who is thinking, I've tried meditation, but it's really difficult. Meditation is really difficult. If you try and sit for half an hour off the bat.

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Emma O'Brien: nobody will manage that if you've never meditated before. Try 2 min. Try 2 min in the garden listening to the birds. It's a form of meditation. It's just a form of calming your system down and pausing without external stimulation all the time, and like you said, and I think it's such a valuable point

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Emma O'Brien: of taking time for you

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Emma O'Brien: just a few times a day

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Emma O'Brien: starting the day intentionally. I like to to meditate in the morning. I'm a heart math practitioner, so when I remember, I'll do so, do a heart math, exercise of really tapping into a positive emotion and feeling into that. And it changes the way your day turns out. You know I'm I'm preaching to the choir here. This is

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Emma O'Brien: when you set an intention for your day, and you start the day from a a space of feeling good, whether you're feeling compassionate or grateful or content. Whatever it is, it is much easier to navigate through a day when stuff starts to get thrown at you, and there are complications that happen because it's life. They they don't go away.

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Emma O'Brien: But when you come from a space of calm and you you talked about it, is you able to respond rather than reacting. And I think it's so easy to go through life just being reactive all the time. It's why people are so stressed out. It's why people are burnt out because you don't. When you don't have a minute to pause and think. Actually.

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Emma O'Brien: is there a more appropriate way of dealing with what's happened, or do I do? I actually want to say no here. But I've subconsciously just said Yes, because that's my pattern.

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Emma O'Brien: We don't change anything if we don't pause and have a gap, and you talked about when you can take a a day or a week, or a month, whatever it is for you to have some downtime and some calm time it is when creative ideas come through. You can't be creative when you're when you're going 100 miles an hour all the time. It's actually it's impossible. And you need to create space

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Emma O'Brien: for yourself, for new things, to emerge new insights, to emerge new ideas to emerge. And I think we make better decisions from a space of

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Emma O'Brien: calm.

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Emma O'Brien: And when you make better decisions, you start to, as we, as we both know, you start to take your life in a whole other direction that serves you far better.

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Emily Steines: Absolutely, beautifully, said I. I think it's it's nice to know, too, that for anyone listening that at least for me.

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Emily Steines: you you heard kind of my go go mode. But the starting meditation, or sitting in silence, used to be like torture for me. Yeah. And now I absolutely crave silence. I crave it. So, recognizing again of the reality we live in, we are constantly stimulated every direction we look without even trying to be and so, recognizing that, as you said, like meditation.

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Emily Steines: Kit might not be the right fit, especially as a starting point. And also you can start small and do 30 seconds of sitting outside before or going for a walk. I always like to remind people like check into the things when you're you're putting things in your ears, or you're engaging in stuff, and you're listening and maybe for that day you go without it. So like thinking about. If you go for a walk, and you always play music, or you always play a podcast

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Emily Steines: can you at least give yourself the 1st 5 min of your walk before you put anything in your ears like, give yourself those 5 min of just like being noticing your surroundings, maybe hearing the birds feeling the sun on your skin like maybe noticing a neighbor, a cool neighbor's house that you hadn't seen in a while like letting yourself actually be present before you start to take in any more information or energy. And again, doesn't mean you have to do the whole walk without

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Emily Steines: anything. It's just like, give yourself a little window

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Emily Steines: of that before you push, play on something else. Same thing. If you're driving in your car. And you're always putting music or a podcast or something on, can you give yourself a moment or a couple of minutes of just nothing

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Emily Steines: before you, you add that to it. So, just recognizing there's there can be little opportunities to create these moments of stillness and silence

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Emily Steines: that then can help you check in. And you might notice a thought that comes through that you wouldn't have noticed otherwise, or like a check in of like, oh, my back's kind of sore right? Like, maybe I'm gonna go home and stretch, and we're gonna massage and book that like we get a lot more feedback about our needs and about what was going on inside. If we give ourselves that space and it can be. I would like to present those opportunities as more accessible than sitting down for a meditation.

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Emily Steines: The other thing, too, is breath work can be a great opportunity that feels more accessible than meditation, because you're doing some intentional move. Break breathing.

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Emily Steines: You're thinking about your breath, and you're breathing in a certain way, and it really still gets to serve your physiology and your your nervous system. Because of that breath practice, you're able to shift things. So you're not gonna stay in that heightened stage. It'll calm you down, or whatever the breath you're doing. But if you haven't tried breath work, but you've tried a meditation, and that feels hard. I would invite you. This is some. A common thing I hear from people is that breath work

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Emily Steines: was a way that they could actually let themselves kind of be present, slow down, and actually like sit

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Emily Steines: compared to meditation. So that could be another opportunity, too, if you're feeling really called to add more of this

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Emily Steines: kind of stillness, presence, intentionality into your into your world.

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Emma O'Brien: Yeah, amazing. And I think breath work as somebody who used to be a creature who needed to be on the move all the time it allows you to sit and rest, but also be doing something, and I think it gives a brain that's so used to being on the go all the time. That

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Emma O'Brien: doesn't know how to stop

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Emma O'Brien: a a kind of an out for being able to sit calmly, but still be busy with something that's useful. So very, very good. And I think breathwork also is something that tends to allow you like you've said to access feelings that are there. And it's a wonderful way of processing through feelings as well. So if you're somebody who is

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Emma O'Brien: a little bit worried about stopping because you don't know what's going to come up and out, actually, breath work is a wonderful way of doing that, because you will find it comes up and it comes out in a breath work session, especially if you're working with a practitioner.

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Emily Steines: Yes.

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Emma O'Brien: I'm going to wrap us up, Emily, because I think we could probably keep talking for quite some time. Can you share with the listeners. I know you've got a freebie, and you've also got a 15% discount on your app where I believe there are some breath work exercises. People can access.

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Emily Steines: Yes, yes.

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Emma O'Brien: And you have a course as well. Just talk to us about that.

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Emily Steines: Yes, so the freebie is the alignment audit, and that can be a really perfect step. Was we keep talking about like connecting to ourself, and actually giving ourselves the space to check in it when it talks. Alignments kind of been a buzzword recently, and it's like what actually is alignment. Am I in alignment? How do I know what can serve me? And how can I support myself in kind of jumping back into alignment? And you know, when we're in alignment, then we are much likely or much less likely, to hit burnout or to kind of move down the path

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Emily Steines: that's not supportive. So it's a little video, and then a little workbook page where you can really tap in so that could be a perfect

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Emily Steines: 1st step for you to just do a little check in with yourself, or maybe think about things in a way that maybe you haven't given yourself the space to think about. So there's that. And then I do have my hype hub, and the hype stands for hone your power every day. So I really like to speak to like our ability to tap into the power that we have to shift our state, to shift our mood, to boost our energy, to calm our nervous system, etc. So there's

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Emily Steines: breath work, meditations, movement like Yoga mobility, even workouts in there. I like to say, just you get to pop in, push, play, and support yourself and pop out, and there's everything from a couple of minutes to like full 60 min Yoga classes and anything in between. And I also think it's helpful, because when you pop in you'll notice, like the names of the meditation and breath are like breath work for motivation, breath work for sleep.

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Emily Steines: anxiety, or a meditation for anxiety or meditation for clarity. So it gives you. Even if you maybe don't go in knowing exactly what you need, you'll see those line up, and you'll be like.

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Emily Steines: what do I need? This is this is calling me. And it's going to be a way that also gets to keep serving this relationship with yourself, of where you actually get to connect and check in of like, what of these? What of this lineup actually is something that's feeling important to me in this moment today, which just gets to strengthen that muscle. So that's the Hype hub and the code podcast will give you that discount for the annual memberships. You have access for the full year at a great price.

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Emily Steines: And then the course that you were mentioning. Emma is my nervous system toolkit course, and so that one is it? As we were talking or mentioned a little bit before, of like.

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Emily Steines: if we all knew the information about our nervous system, and not only just the general kind of nerding out on the science part of it, but also really how it applies to us uniquely, and maybe their own kind of programming that's been in place versus what could be and doing some reflections and some workbook pages. And there's a whole laundry list of actual practices, like the breath work and other somatic things as well. Like I just

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Emily Steines: I I think we'd all be way better off, and we'd be way more intentional about living our lives from a more full, joyful, like

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Emily Steines: flowy place.

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Emma O'Brien: I agree.

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Emily Steines: Of the reality we live in. So that's available as well. It's a self guided course. So you can pop in and kind of go through it at whatever piece you wish, and that same code podcast will offer you a discount on that as well. And I I love connecting with with you, with everyone so like, please. If you have any questions about these, or even questions that came up from listening to this.

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Emily Steines: please reach out to me. I live mostly on Instagram, but I am on Tiktok and other places, but please do not hesitate to to send me a DM. Or to reach out to me. I'm so here to support you.

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Emma O'Brien: Bab, what's your Instagram handle Emily?

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Emily Steines: Yeah, it's boot bad, so BOOP BOD.

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Emma O'Brien: I'm going to pop.

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Emily Steines: And then, yeah, that's that's the same on all, on all socials.

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Emma O'Brien: Perfect. I will pop all of those links in the show notes. So, folks, if you're listening and you feel called to go and connect with Emily and check out her stuff. Please go. Hit the links in the show notes, and go and have a look at everything. Emily. Thank you. This has been a really wonderful conversation, and so lovely to connect with a like minded human, and have what I believe are really these are really important conversations to be

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Emma O'Brien: having, because I'm not

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Emma O'Brien: sure that enough people know that there are resources available to live life differently. You don't have to be in this hustle grind burnt out rat race mode. It's what we're told we have to be doing. But the truth is, you can do it. How you want to do it. And and I I hope that's the message that comes across from from our conversation today.

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Emily Steines: I hope so too. This was so wonderful! Thanks so much for having me.

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Emma O'Brien: Thank you very much. Thank you for listening folks. I will see you in the next episode, bye, for now.