Does the spotlight make you uncomfortable? Eliminate the fear of being seen by the masses with Master Mindset Coach TaVona Denise

Are you ready to be seen by MILLIONS? Did that question just make you sweat? Then you need to listen to this episode with special guest Master Mindset Certified Coach, TaVona Denise. She breaks down WHY expanding your comfort zone is sooooo uncomfortable, and, as always, we'll give you practical action steps you can take right now to help eliminate the fear of showing up (or any next-level growth problems, for that matter).

I get a LOT of comments on social media from folks who are afraid or uncomfortable showing up - especially when it comes to showing up and making on-camera social media content.

If you're stifling your own growth because making a splash on social media, or growing too fast, or flying too close to the sun feels scary - this episode is for you.

Prepare to feel 100x more capable of achieving your business goals.

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Tap here to get your free Posts That Sell Template (This caption got us 10 sales calls in 3 hours)

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Music by Jordan Wood

Hosted by Jenna Warriner, Creator of Magic Marketing Machine

Transcript

Are you ready to be seen by MILLIONS? Eliminate the fear of being seen by the masses with Master Mindset Coach, TaVona Denise. 

Why not start the podcast with a humblebrag? No, I'm kidding. It's a humblebrag, but there is a moral to this story. Okay, so I made a video  I was just like eating an apple and being silly, and I said, like, me when,  you have to tell your client that a post that took you 15 minutes to make sends 1, 500 people to their website, which is a true story.

Go me. I know I'm so great. But here's the point. Here's the point, people. I got a comment on that video. That was someone worried for my client saying, Well, could they handle that much volume? Like, did the site crash? They're all scared. And I thought, Oh, what a perfect opportunity to dive into you. All things mindset, because essentially what that is, is a fear, is a mindset issue that will keep someone who thinks that way, and I think we all do at some point, from performing in your content, from writing captions that convert to sales, like, these are the types of things that get seated in our brain.

And show up in a very practical way in our content creation and in our business growth. So do you know what I have for you? Just the best sweetest treat. Uh, please meet my friend TaVona Denise, who is a master certified life coach and business strategist. Also just a very smart, very poetic, very wonderful woman to talk to us about all things, mindset and business.

Cause this is her expertise. TaVona hi. Oh my goodness, you are just so good at this. I'm just sitting here marveling at someone doing their job and telling this story. It's amazing. I'm so glad to be here with you, friend. Well, you're just the perfect person to talk us through this. And I know we're only going to get a drop of your brilliance in this Bite Size episode.

But listen, before the call, I was telling TaVona that I hear people have this worry about what if I post content And it does go viral and a million people try and work with me. And then I can't support them. And her face just lit up with, Ooh, like what a juicy mindset block to dive into. So what's like the first thing that sort of comes to your mind when we talk about this?

Oh my gosh. The first thing is I think that the people that have that fear, first of all, I want to say that every fear that we have makes total sense. It came from somewhere. It just may not be serving us. At this moment, or for our next level of growth. And so I think when people talk about mindset stuff or a quote unquote, limiting beliefs, it becomes this shameful, dirty thing to, and, and it's, there's a lot of judgment around it.

And when there's a lot of judgment and shame around something, we don't even want to look at it so that we can even do something about it. So I want to first say that. The reason why, at least I think, that people have that fear of what if so many people come is because you're a good person and you have a lot of integrity and you want to be able to serve your clients to the nth degree, to the highest level.

And so there is this Fear that comes into our nervous system. That's like, oh my gosh, if I have all these people, I won't be able to take care of them or take good care of them. Like I normally would. So I want to first honor that. That's amazing that you're a good person with high integrity and what it does on the other side, it shuts us down from having really any clients or as many clients as we want to have.

So I want to start there. The second thing that I want to say about this is it's your business. It's like a faucet. You are always in charge of the knob on the faucet. And so, if that, what was it, 1, 500 people come to the website, well, maybe, and I love these things, so I'm getting really excited, that's why you wanted to start with this.

But, maybe we put in place some kind of System or process that can collect the people and put them maybe on a waitlist so that when a spot becomes available, we service them. We are never at the mercy of our clients. And that's why I really want to impress upon people that you're in charge. You're in charge of the faucet.

You turn it on, you turn it up, you turn it down, you turn it off. And so those are two things that I would start with there and pause. So that Jenna can interject before I say the next part. But why would I? Because you're perfection. I love the Fawcett analogy. I think in analogies. So as soon as you give me an analogy, I'm like, yep.

Okay. Now I understand it. I was also thinking while you were talking, man, Jenna, you talk a big game, but you felt all these feelings and fears too. And when you put it like that, like how many times Have I stifled my own growth because I'm worried I won't be able to nurture and take care of and support and know and see a whole bunch of clients all at once.

And then I also was just thinking, um, I didn't, I didn't consider myself in this camp until you started talking because it doesn't really affect me in my content creation, but it does affect me in the, you know, my business. And I have, like, thrown monkey wrenches into my own business to try and slow things down if I'm scared.

Mm hmm. A hundred percent. And we do this. And so,  when I talk about putting some kind of process in place, and that's why I like being a mindset coach and a business strategist, because There's always the, the action, but there's also how we're thinking and feeling that causes us to either do things or not do things.

So we do things to muck things up and throw monkey wrenches and,  what are they called, sabotage our business. And we don't do things that we know we need to do that would help us grow our business and all of it is a protective mechanism. For go back to the first thing I said, because we really  we have high integrity, we have high standards.

We want to take care of people. But I learned this really cool thing from  Tim Ferriss, and he calls it fear setting. And when I'm working with someone, one of the first things that I like to do, especially if we find ourselves frozen in, in action, what I like to do is ask, well, what am I afraid of right now?

Or what am I concerned about right now? And I just let my brain go to town. Because it's got all the things. I'm afraid that too many people come. I'm afraid that nobody will come and da da da da. So we just write it all down. I'm afraid that 1, 500 people will come to my website. And if 1, 500 people come to my website at one time because of this one awesome post that I did that  that Jenna showed me how to do that goes viral.

Then what happens to most people is they stay stuck, they stay frozen in that place because our nervous system is designed to keep us alive and to keep us safe. It's not really designed to put us in any position where we think it's going to be uncomfortable or dangerous. And so too much, too many, too soon.

In any situation, in this case, 1500 people at one time might be too much or it might be too soon, too quickly. I just did it yesterday and now they came and I didn't get a chance to put all my systems in place. Right? So the brain, the body, the brain and the body, the nervous system are freaking out.

And so we get to then ask ourselves, because the response to fear and freaking out is fight, flight or freeze. A lot of us freeze, and we don't do anything. Some of us fight, and we pay our coaches and consultants lots of money to tell us wonderful things to do that are gonna work if we do them, and then we argue about why we shouldn't do them or why we can't do them.

Oh! Oh my gosh, I just had such a lightbulb moment, TaVona! Because one of my biggest, like, challenges in my career has been I don't like to argue, and I get and especially when I was coming up and my nervous system was really dysregulated because I was working 15 jobs and just trying this social media management thing, you know, I would get so annoyed when people would pay me.

to fight with me. Like, call me in as a consultant and then argue with all my ideas. So what you're saying is that's just one of these fight, flight, or freeze. I'm pushing them a little bit out of their comfort zone. It also might be they know it's going in the right direction and could attract millions of eyeballs, and so their response is to argue.

And I need, I know that I need to not take that personally, and that's kind of been what my journey has been working on. But like, Now I understand. Totally, totally. So either we freeze, we fight, or flight. We run away. This is where we just go. So we just don't do anything. We just stop doing it all together.

And oftentimes, we would just pick up something else and start Chipping at the problem again in a different way. And until they get to that level of discomfort where they just can't tolerate it anymore. And we got to stop that and try this next new shiny object. I mean, I have  explanations for all the things.

So I'm going to backtrack. So everybody's tracking with me. What am I afraid of? What am I concerned about? I'm concerned that nobody's going to come. I'm concerned at 1500 people to come. Okay, great.  If 1500 people come to the website, what am I worried about or concerned that will happen?

It'll crash the site or I won't know where to put them or my schedule will be overbooked. I won't have time to go play pickleball. That seems to be the new rage right now, or play with my kids or whatever. Right. So you have to follow it down the line. What am I afraid of? And if this happens, then what, if this happens, then what track it down?

What am I worried about? And so once you really are clear about, well, what are the fears? What are the concerns? What are the hesitations? Then now that it's all laid out in, in black and white, and I literally recommend writing this down, cause just trying to do it in your head doesn't work, then we get to put some kind of procedure in the place or a policy into place, like, okay, I'm going to do this.

Thing and I'm also going to put a wait list and I get to Select the best people off the wait list, or I get to go one by one, or I get to tell them I have new openings twice a month or something like that. Once you can see what all the fears are, whether they seem to be fear of success or fear of failure, then you can put something into place to actually do something about it and you do it ahead of time.

So then that way it helps you to calm down. We can't be creative if we're not in a calm space. And so get the fear out. Do something about it because most of the time stuff is not going to happen, but we have to have like the brain is used to forecasting danger. And so it's thinking  two or three steps ahead.

And so we got to say, well, if this happens, then I will answer in this way, or I will respond in this way. And then that way, the plan is already out in paper, and then you actually have it. If the 1500 people come to, to the website, so then that way you feel free, you have the capacity to actually do the work that might get the 1500 people to the website.

Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. And I think that I don't know if this is just me and like how I was raised, but I'm always trying to be a positive person. And I'm always like cognizant of what I'm manifesting and all of that. So I would never just. Until now. Now I totally will because I will do whatever you say.

But I would never just write out all of these fears and negative things for fear that I would then make them more real by writing them down. But what you're saying is by writing them down, we can clear them, we can address them, or we can realize maybe they're a little bit silly. Yeah, pretty much. That's exactly what I'm saying.

I think the other thing is more like Shining a light on it makes it go away, like the boogeyman in the closet. It might have been a shadow, but as soon as you turn the light on, the shadow's gone. Okay, I'm gonna make an analogy and give you a life hack if you don't already know this. You know how there's always that one white board that somebody wrote on with a permanent marker?

The way to get the permanent marker off of the whiteboard is to take a proper whiteboard marker and trace over the permanent marker. And then you can literally just wipe it away. Like, you no longer need to Google baking soda recipes and all the things to get rid of permanent marker. That's all you have to do.

And I kind of feel like that's what this is. We're gonna like write down the fear. And then we're gonna like, do you know what? It's almost like cancelling it out.   By acknowledging it. Totally. I love it.  I do want to get your take on just if you, I don't want to put you too much on the spot, but there are a lot of people listening who,  are afraid to be seen.

And I think that this exercise that we've been talking about is, is going to help with that. But Do you have any advice  or questions people can ask themselves if they're just like afraid to be in front of the camera and be seen by a whole pile of people? My favorite go to is like, it's still why, like the most simple question, why am I afraid to be seen?

Or what am I concerned about? It's the same question that we asked in the, when I was talking about spear setting, what am I worried about? What am I afraid of? What am I concerned about? What is my hesitation, like any variation of those, because sometimes why doesn't just get it like, what am I concerned about?

Well, I'm concerned, especially if you're going from a job to a business, I'm concerned that my boss will see it. Okay. I've got that one. I've heard that one. Yeah. If they do, then what? What's wrong with them seeing it, right? Is there a legitimate concern about that? Like, is it in the company policy that you're not supposed to be posting?

Is there a conflict of interest? Like, really, this is the part where I'm talking about. Just don't stop at that first level. Really figure out, like, what's at the root of this. What is, why is that a concern? What is the concern and why is that a concern? Maybe that'd be a better way to put it. Okay, so say, take this example.

There is a company policy that I'm not supposed to be posting. What happens if that feels like a dead end? There's never a dead end. There's always, there's always more than one way to get things done. I love that. Always, and it actually might even be better for you. Who knows?

And with that. Unless you're driving, I think that you, dear listener, should grab a pen and start and take action on this. Why wait? Why, like TaVona said, why do it in your head? Like, what's the worst that could happen if you try this exercise?

It could be a complete game changer and you could be looking back at this podcast episode going like, Holy crap, that one day changed my life! Or not. What's the worst that could happen? What do you think, TaVona? I'm here for it. Okay, so right now, who should be reaching out to you? And for what? And like, where can we find you right now?

I love that you put that in front of there because that you know, I give  myself permission to evolve and pivot. And should you dear listener? Right now? I love working with people who want to have more influence in their industry, who wants to be more visible. And sometimes they're just letting some of the mind stuff get in the way.

And to me, some of the mind stuff blends with the strategy because we over complicate things. I literally had a client in the session that I did just before we hopped on. Say, Hey, wait a minute. My business gets to be that simple. And the 📍  answer is yes, my dear friend. So, I try to help people make their business as simple as possible, and then they go out and build influence in their industry.

I love that. And what's your IG? IG? TaVona Denise. That's T A V I S S E R. O N A D E N I S E. Awesome. And of course, that'll be linked in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here, TaVona. This is freaking awesome. Ah,