Journey Through the Tangles of Memory for Growth and Healing

I remember vividly the turmoil of my parents' divorce and the unspoken pain that lingered for years after. It became clear that the emotional roots planted in our early years need nurturing to grow strong; otherwise, we're left vulnerable to life's relentless gusts. In the Heart's Hello Show, I, Keona Talana, invite you to embark on a journey of healing and introspection. Together, we'll recognize the suppressed pain and trauma that may ensue in your quest for purpose, passion, and fulfillment. As I recount my narrative, we'll see the transformative power of facing our past and understand why dismantling the barricades of unresolved issues is crucial for personal growth and stability.

Amidst the chaos of daily life, finding a sanctuary for self-reflection and mindfulness can seem like a herculean task. Yet, in these quiet moments of meditation, we uncover our true selves and foster resilience. This episode implores you to cultivate a routine of introspection, where journaling becomes a compass through the complexities of your emotional landscape. Let's pledge to prioritize self-care, documenting our thoughts and feelings to stabilize and make sense of our inner world. By setting aside this time for ourselves, we not only lay a strong foundation for our own lives, but we also become beacons, guiding others toward their path of healing and self-discovery.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey Heartseekers, welcome to the Heart's Hello Show, where we believe that our hearts are the foundation of our well-being and happiness. I am your host, kiana Tallena. In this episode, we are going to be doing some healing of the root. Why? Because, in order for us to stabilize our tree, we're going to have to heal the root. What does that mean? We're going to have to address our core issues so that we can move through as light as possible through this journey that we call life. See, I believe that so many of us are weighed down by just those things that we have yet to take a look at, those things that we have yet to heal, those versions of ourselves that have gone through traumatic experiences. And in order for us to understand and to be this amazing tree that we need to be, we first have to ensure that our root is healthy. And in order for us to understand if our root is healthy, that means we're going to have to go back and heal the root. Do some of the root work? We're going to have to address our foundational issues. Why? Because if we don't address those issues, they cause us to have lasting impacts in our lives, which means our tree that should be firmly rooted is a bit shaky. That means, when the wind blows, when we may have a huge storm that comes through, it can easily uproot this tree. And when we're talking about this tree, we're talking about this version of ourselves that when we go and stand in front of the mirror, that's who we are looking at.

Speaker 1: 2:07

See, I believe that there are so many of us who have to go back and heal our root, because every little thing that comes through causes us to be shaky, causes our tree to bend, causes our tree and limbs and things to start falling off. We have to heal the root. We have to get to those foundational issues that are causing the symptoms in our relationships and how we show up with people, how we show up at our jobs, how we are trying to walk in a purpose, but we can't quite find the purpose, how we are trying to find this passion that we just can't seem to find. Well, I believe that all of it stems from this inability to go back and do the root work. I believe that it is so profound that we make sure that our tree is sturdy. See, what most people don't realize is that when you plant a tree, it grows deep before you begin to see anything on the surface, and so that's why it's going to be so important for us to go back and look at our childhood, look at how we grew up, look at the environment that we grew up in, deal with those things that are still holding us back, recognize what they are. You can't necessarily go back and fix them, but you can deal with it, you can address it. You can stop acting like it did not happen.

Speaker 1: 3:55

It did, and for some, it could be something that has transpired not just in our childhood. It could have been as a teenager, it could have been a young adult, into our adulthood. Things are always happening and we have to be able to deal with them and stop just pushing things into a closet and act like they are not there. They are there. Some of you all have so many things compacted into a closet that you can't even close it of trauma and guilt and shame, and all of these things have just been piled and piled and piled and piled on top of each other, and then you think I'm just going to close the door and act like it's not there. It's there. Every time you're triggered, it's because something is in that closet that you have not dealt with. And in order for us to address this route so that we can stabilize our tree, we have to deal with those things that are in that closet. We have to deal with the root issues.

Speaker 1: 5:14

I know for me it's going to go back to just childhood with my mom and dad, the divorce that they had. I didn't have words for that. I didn't know what transpired. I was a child. No one's talking about it, everyone's acting like it's okay. But even as a child I could still see the pain in my mother. I could still see that something was wrong, but no one was talking to myself or my brother about it. They just kind of acted like everything was just okay. And that's how we typically go through life. Things happen and then we don't talk about it, and so then it gets suppressed and then something else transpires in our life. That thing that happened now goes down to the bottom. Something else gets on top of that that happens.

Speaker 1: 6:14

Now that goes down and something else happens, and now we have all of these traumatic experiences that are helping to shape this foundation of who we are and we try to figure out how did I get here? Why is it that I'm looking for purpose and I can't find it. Why is it that I'm searching for passion and I can't find it? Why is it my relationships aren't going the way that I expect them to? Why is it that I'm not fulfilled in my career? We begin to ask all of these questions about why. But we have not dealt with why we got here. How did we get here? What transpired for us to get here? What have we not dealt with up until this point in our lives? And we know that what we do not deal with, we keep spinning the block and it keeps the resurfacing. That's why they say that you can take a test over and over and over again and you continue to fail it. It's just going to come back around again. So let's stop failing tests because of things that we have not healed in our lives. Let's go back and heal those things. Granted, not everything we're going to be able to heal, but we do have to be able to address it. We do have to act like it transpired. We do have to act like it helped to shape us and hook into who we are. Those things, those traumatic experiences, shaped us. Those things that we didn't deal with shaped us.

Speaker 1: 8:02

For some, you're still being held down by guilt and shame and the opinion of others. They are shaping you, and so then, when you're trying to figure out, why is it that every time a strong wind comes through, why is it that every time a storm comes through, your tree is so shaken by? You can't deal with it? It's because you have to address the root. So we're going to do some root work. We're going to have to go back and deal with some of those areas that we don't want to deal with, those areas that hurt and yes, I know that they hurt, but you have to deal with them so that you can move forward, because what you won't deal with will deal with you. So I'm hoping that you're hearing the passion in my voice. I'm hoping that something is being stirred up down on the inside of you to say you know what, whatever age you are at this point, it does not matter. The root work can still take place.

Speaker 1: 9:19

Have you ever seen them construction workers doing relaying down a road? And they have to be able to come in with the jackhammer and to break up the old road first and then put down a new layer of asphalt, so they're not taking it down to the bare minimum, to the bone. But they're taking it down enough whereby the potholes, those things that have transpired throughout, just the wear and tear of people driving their cars over top of it, the inclement weather, the you know, all of those things play a role in how a road handles cars going over it, how a road handles inclement weather, all of these things begin to wear and tear on it. But what do they do? They come in, they bring in the jackhammer, they widen that hole that was already big. They widen it, they break it down to a certain point. They probably pour some stuff on it that's going to make the asphalt stick to it a little better. And then what else do they do? Then they go in and fill the hole.

Speaker 1: 10:36

Same thing applies to when you have a cavity. The cavity starts out as small, but if you don't deal with the cavity at some point, it turns into you now having to have a root canal. Same thing applies we have to begin to deal with the issues at the cavity phase so that they don't turn into something that can take you out. We have to begin to deal with our issues, because when we don't deal with our issues, not only are they impacting our health, they are now impacting the people and the lives around us, because now you become toxic. So let's make sure that we are dealing with the root.

Speaker 1: 11:29

Let's make sure that we understand what those areas are in our lives, because no one else can come in to help you with you recognizing and just saying you know what. This is an area in my life that I need to deal with. You know what they are. Even if you were to go to a therapist, a therapist can only help you with the areas that you're willing to acknowledge are there. So it's going to help you to be able to identify all of those underlying issues. Why? Because if you don't deal with them, it's going to hinder your growth, your personal development, your goals, your aspirations, all of those things. So let's make sure that we are healing ourselves.

Speaker 1: 12:25

Let's make sure that we are dealing with our root issues so that, when life comes, we can weather the storm. Let's make sure that our tree is built and has the foundation to be able to sustain us, because everything that is going to come into our lives is not just going to be easy. They're going to be storms. So guess what? After a storm, then there's going to be sunshine, there's going to be joy, there's going to be happiness. But how do you weather the storm, how do you deal with it, how do you make sure that you can sustain yourself through it? So I'm going to give you three things that can help you.

Speaker 1: 13:20

First I've already talked about it some therapy or some counseling, because we need to get to a place where we understand that mental health is real, we understand that it is a safe space, it is a supportive environment for us to explore and address the root causes of our emotional and psychological distress. And I'm not just talking about someone who you know, who is not certified to be able to help. And yes, I know that some of you all are gonna say, well, I'm just gonna pray about it and that's cool. But prayer and therapy are okay. Let's normalize that. Yes, I am all for you being able to pray about it.

Speaker 1: 14:12

Let's also take that to therapy, because one thing that I realized, especially as someone who's in their 40s, you know our parents didn't go to therapy. We just act like, oh, we're going to pray about it, we're going to go to church and it's going to all be well. No, it's not those things that we didn't talk about, those things that we just kind of acted like was going to go away, is the reason why especially those in my age bracket are dealing with some of the things that we're dealing with, because it was just oh, we're going to pray about it. No, we need help. So let's make sure that we incorporate in some therapy and some counseling along with the praying we got to make sure that our tree is good. So that's going to be the first thing.

Speaker 1: 15:04

The second thing is going to be dealing with our mindfulness and meditation practices, whatever that looks like for you being able to set aside time specifically just for dealing with you, making sure that there there's a greater emotional resilience, and for a deeper understanding of yourself. And in order for that to take place, you got to be able to sit, with you being able to turn your phone off, turn the laptops off, get into a quiet space and just sit, if that means being able to turn on some relaxing music, find a comfortable chair and just close your eyes. Don't think about anything that's going on around you, not what happened yesterday, not what transpired earlier in the day, no, just think about nothing and see what bubbles up. And then the third thing is going to be just some self reflection and journaling. I talk about it all the time.

Speaker 1: 16:19

We have to get to a place where what's in our brain, we have to take it out and put it onto paper. It doesn't have to be in any particular format, how you do it, but the more that you begin to write, the more we'll begin to come out Again. The more you write, the more it comes out. And so let's get to a place where we are self reflecting daily, because, in order for us to heal the root causes of our personal issues, we have to be able to write about our experiences, our emotions, our thoughts. It's going to help us to clarify the feelings and uncover the patterns as to what may be going on, and it gives us the opportunity to go back and look at some of those days that may not have been so great and those days that were absolutely amazing. So I want to be able to challenge you to think about your deepest fears, your happiest moments, those significant life changes, and write about it, because whatever you write in your journal, it's private. You don't have to worry about somebody going back and saying, oh, you told them this and now somebody else knows. No, what you write in your book is just for you. That's your therapeutic outlet for your emotions, for reducing stress and just being able to improve your mental health.

Speaker 1: 17:57

So if you don't do anything else that I've shared with you, take time just for you. Take time to figure out what's going on in your heart. Take time to figure out how we are going to heal the root so that we can stabilize our tree. It starts with us, it starts internally, and I believe that as we begin to walk through this journey called life, there are going to be areas that we feel like we just can't. But if our tree is strong enough, it has the ability to weather any storm, not just for you, but for everyone attached to you. So when people see a healthy version of you guess what? They now realize that you know what I can do it too. I can make sure that my tree is strong because they're watching you stabilize yours, and so I just want to thank you for joining me for another adventure of the heart's hello. We're together, we embrace vulnerability, we learn from each other and we spread love.