Can naming a baby spark a family feud? Join us on this episode of Wicked Wanderings, where personal boundaries and family dynamics take center stage. First, we dive into the emotional turmoil of whether to invite an estranged father, who has struggled with addiction, to a wedding. With raw honesty, Jess and Hannah navigate the murky waters of prioritizing personal feelings versus family obligations, providing thoughtful insights into setting boundaries. Next, we tackle the controversy of a sister-in-law choosing a name for her newborn that is already held by a niece, stirring up deep family tensions. Jess and Hannah dig into the emotional layers of name ownership, shared names, and the importance of gut feelings in making such poignant decisions.
In our Sibling Wedding Dilemma chapter, we explore the sensitive dynamics of naming within families. Is it okay to have multiple Jennifers, or should families steer away from common names? We then switch gears to discuss a 23-year-old brother's decision to let his nine-year-old sister sleep in his bed after a nightmare. Jess and Hannah weigh in on the mother's concerns and the sibling's perspective, offering a balanced view on the subject. Finally, we wrap up with heartfelt gratitude to our loyal listeners, encouraging everyone to stay curious and keep wandering. Don't miss out on this emotional rollercoaster—make sure to follow us on social media and check out our exclusive merch for some Wicked Cozy apparel!
If you'd like to show your support for Wicked Wanderings and join our community of dedicated listeners, you can start contributing for as little as $3 a month. Your support helps us continue to explore the darkest and most intriguing mysteries, bringing you captivating stories from the world of true crime and the unexplained. Click the link to become a valued member of our podcast family.
We'd love to hear from you! If you have any questions or suggestions please feel free to email us @ wickedwanderingspodcast@gmail.com.
Wicked Wanderings is hosted by Hannah Fitzpatrick and Jess Goonan. It is produced and edited by Rob Fitzpatrick. Music by Sascha Ende. Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 L...
Can naming a baby spark a family feud? Join us on this episode of Wicked Wanderings, where personal boundaries and family dynamics take center stage. First, we dive into the emotional turmoil of whether to invite an estranged father, who has struggled with addiction, to a wedding. With raw honesty, Jess and Hannah navigate the murky waters of prioritizing personal feelings versus family obligations, providing thoughtful insights into setting boundaries. Next, we tackle the controversy of a sister-in-law choosing a name for her newborn that is already held by a niece, stirring up deep family tensions. Jess and Hannah dig into the emotional layers of name ownership, shared names, and the importance of gut feelings in making such poignant decisions.
In our Sibling Wedding Dilemma chapter, we explore the sensitive dynamics of naming within families. Is it okay to have multiple Jennifers, or should families steer away from common names? We then switch gears to discuss a 23-year-old brother's decision to let his nine-year-old sister sleep in his bed after a nightmare. Jess and Hannah weigh in on the mother's concerns and the sibling's perspective, offering a balanced view on the subject. Finally, we wrap up with heartfelt gratitude to our loyal listeners, encouraging everyone to stay curious and keep wandering. Don't miss out on this emotional rollercoaster—make sure to follow us on social media and check out our exclusive merch for some Wicked Cozy apparel!
If you'd like to show your support for Wicked Wanderings and join our community of dedicated listeners, you can start contributing for as little as $3 a month. Your support helps us continue to explore the darkest and most intriguing mysteries, bringing you captivating stories from the world of true crime and the unexplained. Click the link to become a valued member of our podcast family.
We'd love to hear from you! If you have any questions or suggestions please feel free to email us @ wickedwanderingspodcast@gmail.com.
Wicked Wanderings is hosted by Hannah Fitzpatrick and Jess Goonan. It is produced and edited by Rob Fitzpatrick. Music by Sascha Ende. Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 L...
Jess:
Hi, I'm Jess and I'm Hannah. Join us as we delve into true crime, paranormal encounters and all things spooky.
Hannah:
So grab your flashlight and get ready to wander into the darkness with us.
Jess:
This is Wicked Wanderings. Welcome to a balance episode. So Jess.
Hannah:
Hannah, I want to know if this person's an asshole. Am I the asshole for refusing to invite my estranged father to my wedding?
Rob:
No.
Hannah:
I am getting married in a few months. My father left my mother and me when I was five years old. He was struggling with some major addiction issues at the time and has continued to deal with that over the years. Was struggling with some major addiction issues at the time and has continued to deal with that over the years. He was never really involved in my life and we only saw each other or even spoke occasionally during random holidays and special events. He never paid child support and was completely absent during my teenage years.
Hannah:
About a year ago, when I was already engaged, my father reached out saying he wanted to rebuild our relationship. The last time I had heard from him was when I graduated college five years ago. He apologized for not being there and said he regrets his choices. I was skeptical but decided to give him a chance. We met up a few times and, while it was nice to talk, things just didn't feel right. Honestly, it felt like something had been lost that could never be recovered. Fair.
Hannah:
When it came time to send out wedding invitations, I made the decision not to invite him. I didn't feel like he had earned the right to be there on one of the most important days of my life. There will also be alcohol at the wedding, and he is known to be a very angry alcoholic. My mother, who practically raised me on her own, has been supportive. However, when my father found out, he was devastated. He says he's really trying to make amends and this would be a huge step in our reconciliation.
Hannah:
My fiance supports my decision, but some family members think I'm being unfair. They believe he has changed and I should give my father more of a chance to prove himself and that this would be a big opportunity for him to do so. Others agree with me and think he has forfeited his right to be at my wedding when he has walked out on us. Am I the asshole for not inviting my estranged father to my wedding, despite attempts to reconcile, should I have given him this opportunity or my right to prioritize my own feelings and the people who have always been there for me? Bitch, you did the right thing.
Rob:
Not the asshole nope, not the asshole at all I don't know, I don't think she's an asshole, but that's a. That's a tough one.
Hannah:
That's a tough situation negative I mean from personal experience if phil came back and was like, oh, I'm sorry, like okay, but you don't get to be that special person on my day yeah, but put me in that father's shoes and then think about it yeah, but you, you didn't have an addiction problem, that that situation was totally different it is completely different, but that is my aspect on this and that's how I'm thinking about it.
Jess:
So no, she's not the asshole, but it's a complex situation.
Rob:
Exactly.
Jess:
I understand.
Rob:
I get both of you. I agree with her wholeheartedly.
Jess:
Yeah, maybe like a situation that wasn't like a wedding, that he can prove himself more. I think a wedding is Like a 4th of July party?
Hannah:
Yeah, sure, no problem. But a wedding is so intimate? Oh definitely and you only invite those people that you care about, plus if it's like 100 a plate right, exactly, and she obviously cared to some extent or he, whoever wrote it that they knew that there was gonna be alcohol there. They didn't want to put him in that situation.
Rob:
I mean, I do like that they got together beforehand, but she or he obviously felt there was something, something there that was not clicking. You know what I mean?
Jess:
follow your gut man yes, you do or ma'am all right, how another one? Am I the asshole for telling my sister-in-law she can't name her baby after my mom?
Hannah:
No, yes.
Rob:
I'm just kidding.
Jess:
For context I, 25 female, have four siblings 25 female, 23 female, 28 male and 30 male.
Rob:
So she has a twin, yeah.
Jess:
Yeah, my mom passed away last year after a long battle with cancer. My entire family is very close and my mom loved her grandbabies. Sadly, she was only able to see my daughter, two female, a couple times before she passed. My husband, 26 male, and I decided to name our daughter after my mom, except we swapped my mom's middle name and first name for our daughter. Example my mom's name was Jane Doe. Our daughter's name is Doe Jane. Recently, my sister-in-law, 32 female, announced that she and my brother Jake, 30 male, are expecting their fourth child, and it's a girl. While at the family dinner, my sister-in-law also announced that they planned to name the baby Doe Jane after my mom.
Jess:
I became upset and pointed out that my daughter was already named Doe Jane and that my sister-in-law asked why there couldn't be two Doe Janes in honor of my mom.
Hannah:
So she flipped it and the sister-in-law wanted the same thing, yeah.
Jess:
So she was going to name her the exact same thing. This led to a full-blown argument where sister-in-law and my brother stormed out. After Now my brother, jake sister-in-law and other brother expect me to apologize for monopolizing a name and embarrassing my sister-in-law. They said I can't own a name and a sister-in-law can name her baby whatever she wants name and a sister-in-law can name her baby whatever she wants. My husband and twin agree with me that it's weird to have two kids with the same name and it's unfair to my daughter. My dad and other siblings do agree with me but think I went about it in an asshole way. I can't tell if I'm really in the wrong. I don't want my sister-in-law to steal my baby's name. But she's right, I don't own the name. Am I the asshole?
Hannah:
no, there shouldn't be two people in the family with the same name yeah, but they have different last names I think it's a little weird and it's a little weird, it is weird because of I don't have a relationship with my sister-in-law, I would be like fuck, no bitch. Like yeah, it it's already been done. Why are you reinventing the wheel? Like you don't have anyone on your side of the family that you want to name someone after. Like why? Because then your daughter is me living in that cousin's shoes. Like it's just, yeah, it's sally what like? No the other sally, like I mean.
Jess:
But how many jennifers are there in the world like I? Have two cousins that are yeah but I, yeah but I can't.
Hannah:
Would your mom have named you Jessica if her sibling named their daughter Jessica? No, oh, that's okay, it's weird.
Jess:
Well, I don't know what she would do, but there was no other Jessica.
Rob:
You have two cousins that are Jennifer's.
Jess:
Yeah, on the same side.
Rob:
Oh, so they did basically what we're talking about. Yeah, what what we're talking about? But it's like a common name. I don't know. I think the only time that there can be the same name is when it's a junior or a senior, you know what I mean?
Hannah:
yeah, because I know personally, like if my brother named his child billy bob, I wouldn't want to name our child billy bob like what if they named their daughter kenzie?
Rob:
well, you want to know what what's funny is? My goddaughter's name is Mackenzie.
Hannah:
No, but that's not no, it's spelled different.
Rob:
That's not the reason why we named her Mackenzie, and it's spelled different.
Hannah:
It's a dog though. Love you, Kenz, but it's a dog.
Jess:
Hey, hannah, remember when we had that client whose dog name was Hannah, yes, and I had to say, hannah, the dog, come here Really.
Rob:
Yes, you did. I never heard this story. All right, how about another?
Hannah:
Yes sir, may I have another? Am I the asshole for letting my sister sleep in my bed? Okay, interesting, need some context for that.
Hannah:
Two weeks ago I, who is a 23-year-old male, was ago. I, who is a 23-year-old male, was called by my mother to babysit my little sister, who's nine years old female Anna, overnight. While she worked. Her work schedule has been unstable and I occasionally get asked to do so, so babysit. My mother and I have a strained relationship for a while, but I thought we were getting over it.
Hannah:
Anna's a really sweet kid and we get along well. She's had really bad nightmares ever since she was little. Last time I babysat her she had a really bad nightmare again a few hours after I put her down to bed around 1130. She ended up coming into the guest room I was sleeping in and shook me awake to ask if she could sleep with me In my half-awake state. I just agreed and she climbed to the bed and we both fell asleep. At around four in the morning I got shocked awake by my mother yelling at me from the room entrance before she came in and grabbed Anna from the bed, waking her up. I don't, I think the mother is overreacting. I mean, they're siblings.
Rob:
And the little girl had a nightmare. Imagine yourself as a nine-year-old and you have a nightmare. You climb into your parents' bed right. Well, parents are not around your older brother's there.
Jess:
Yeah, no, I love you, Chuck, but no, I think I mean it's difficult for us because we deal with these situations in life where it is a family member and it's never when we hear about. It's never good yeah, and so we deal with situations of kids being sexually abused by their family members and so, like, at first all of us cringe because, like, like the age difference and stuff. So that's like our initial response.
Hannah:
But I mean, if she's having a nightmare and he is a comfort, I don't know it's it's one that's complex so thinking about the olden days not to bring the old days up, but like old old days where the whole family would sleep together in one bed or in one room. It was a thing. Obviously it sounds like he wasn't trying to be malicious. Yeah, nothing was trying to happen. He was just like half asleep. He's like okay, yeah, okay, there's room, whatever. But I can also see the mother's issue. How it must have looked. Yeah, so we never, like you said, jess, we never hear about the good situation like, oh, the older brother was there to comfort the sister and they slept together, right. It's always the negative, horrific tales of humanity. So no, it sounds like he didn't mean any harm from it.
Hannah:
He was just trying to help her and also, since he didn't mean any harm from it, there could also be repercussions for how the sister will feel towards the brother, depending on what the mother says so then the sister's like, oh my God, is it weird, is that wrong?
Hannah:
That's a good point, because the only reason I know this is because I ran into it in my own life with my siblings, when we used to stay at my dad's apartment. I just wanted to sleep with my brothers because that's where my comfort was, that was home, and my father always had to split us, so my brothers would be on one side of his bed in sleeping bags my dad's bed, and then me in another sleeping bag, and I was like, oh my gosh, what am I doing wrong? That I want to sleep with my brothers Because that was comfort, that was home, that was where I felt safe. So I feel like thinking about how she felt about things. So, thinking about how she felt about things, that's understandable.
Jess:
That's a good point, yeah. Next, am I the asshole for not inviting my sister to my wedding?
Hannah:
because she always brings her dog.
Jess:
Yes, because dogs are cool. My 26th male wedding is coming up in a few months and I've been busy with all the planning. One of the issues I run into is my sister, 28, female and her plus one, her dog, I added the plus one. My sister is obsessed with her dog, a large and somewhat poorly trained Bernice mountain dog.
Rob:
Oh, that's a big dog. I'm thinking like a little Yorkie.
Jess:
Cute but a demon. She takes it everywhere with her, including family gatherings, despite the fact that many of us have asked her not to. For context, her dog has caused a lot of problems in the past. At my cousin's wedding, her dog knocked over an elderly guest and tore up some of the decorations. Oh wow, I'm already saying not the. If the dog was like trained and decent, then yeah, but anyway, where it wasn't trained and it's a huge mountain dog.
Rob:
And knocked over grandma.
Jess:
Yeah, at our family's holiday dinner last year, ate part of the turkey off the table when no one was looking.
Rob:
Oh my God, I'm thinking of a Christmas.
Hannah:
Beethoven, beethoven, that's what.
Jess:
I was thinking it was Beethoven or Christmas story. Christmas story yeah, my sister always brushes it off, saying her dog is just energetic and friendly.
Hannah:
Karen A little hyperactive yeah.
Jess:
When I sent out my wedding invitations, I decided not to invite her dog. I know she will bring it anyway if I just ask her not to. So I told her that she can't bring the dog and that if she does, she won't be allowed in. My sister was furious and said that if her dog isn't welcome, she isn't coming either.
Rob:
Okay.
Jess:
She okay bye. She accused me of not caring about her happiness and making her choose between her family and her dog, Joy, sucker Of course they do Boundaries, boundaries. Yes. I mean yes, but they refused and insists that her dog is part of the family.
Hannah:
I mean yes, but they can stay at home for a couple hours, they can, and you can get a dog sitter, like I love our dog, which is a Yorkshire Terrier that can fit into basically any purse and she's like four pounds, right, but come on.
Jess:
Yeah, am I the asshole for not inviting my sister?
Rob:
No, Definitely Is this an inside wedding or an outside wedding, because if it's at like a venue, I'm sure they have some sort of policy, or even like a state law, because there's food there that an animal can't come in unless it's like a registered service animal.
Hannah:
I mean, this sounds like an emotional support animal, which so it could be a service animal. But come on, service animals are trained. Yeah, they're usually trained.
Jess:
Cool. So thanks for joining us on our bonus episode.
Hannah:
We have opinions. If you have an opinion or have an, am I an asshole story? We'll keep you anonymous unless you tell us you don't care.
Rob:
Send us a text message. It's right there in the show notes. That's the best way to get in touch with us.
Jess:
Yes, or Facebook or Instagram. Yeah.
Hannah:
We're people pleasers, so or not, you know, if you don't want, to Whatever you know.
Jess:
If you do, that's fine, If you don't, that's fine too.
Rob:
But we appreciate you subscribing.
Jess:
All right, bye, bye.
Hannah:
Thanks for listening today, wicked Wanderings is hosted by Hannah Fitzpatrick and me, jess Goonan.
Rob:
And it's produced by Rob Fitzpatrick.
Hannah:
Music by Sasha N. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to leave us a rating and review and be sure to follow us on all our socials.
Jess:
You can find the links down in the show notes. And if you're looking for some Wicked Cozy t-shirts or hoodies, head over to our merch store. Thank you for being a part of the Wicked Wanderings community. We appreciate each and every one of you.
Hannah:
Stay curious, keep exploring and always remember to keep on wandering.
