22 - Are you bore out? | Sleepy Sisters Podcast

In this sorta part 2 of our last episode on Giftedness and Over-excitabilities, we're talking about the other piece of the puzzle --- being BORED! Many neurodivergent people struggle with boredom for a variety of reasons, but did you ever consider one reason might be because you have an unmet need??

Sleepy Sisters podcast is hosted by Elizabeth Brink and Sarah Durham. This show is unedited and often unprepared for, so we hope you enjoy our resistance to perfection!
www.thrivingsistercoaching.com
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Transcript

Unknown: 0:04

Hello, hello.

Elizabeth Brink: 0:08

We're the sleepy sisters. I'm Elizabeth Brink and I'm Sarah Durham. We were given some show notes about needing an intro, because I guess there's a long pause, and some of you are brothers, are feeling a little like, what's going on? It's too quiet in here,

Unknown: 0:29

so well, they don't know when it starts. And so when we just say, hey, hey, it's like, oh, it's not a commercial. Like, what's happening if you're playing podcasts in a row. So So we brought musical instrument and we're just going to experiment with it's

Elizabeth Brink: 0:45

like we're just in the room lurking behind them. We're like, hey, yeah, what's going on? Oh, okay, so I want to talk today about kind of the flip side of what we talked about in the last episode. So if you haven't listened to the episode on over excit abilities, please go listen to it, even if it doesn't sound like something that would resonate with you. Some of what we talk about today will make sense in that context, but also some of that might resonate with you, even if you don't think it will, you can fast forward through the first few minutes because we just talk about end of year stuff, but I found it super helpful. I felt like I understood myself a lot more after that conversation and and my kids, and then now it's got me really thinking about the flip side of over excitability and that idea of being under stimulated?

Unknown: 1:42

Yes, so gifted folks tend to struggle with both over stimulation via over excit abilities and also under stimulation. There's actually a term called you'll get a kick out of this bore out. I feel that. Okay, so it's not burnout. We all kind of pretty much know what burnout is, right? That chronic stress of being over stimulated, run down and all of that. Well, in terms of giftedness, there can be this thing called bore out. Do you want to know more bore? Like, B, O, R, E, boredom. Bore. Yeah. Not like a bore, but yeah, like, yeah, right. Bore out. Yeah. I want to hear that because,

Elizabeth Brink: 2:33

like, here's the thing, I have had so many changes in the last few years in my body because of menopause and I have just this last like couple weeks since we had that conversation, started thinking, Oh, is this part of the fatigue that I'm experiencing? Because I did have a cold in December, which I guess everyone in the entire country has this, like weird cold illness, and I had some version of it in December, and I just it's like one week after another, just kind of like explaining my fatigue by, oh, I'm really tired. Oh, maybe this is just life now, and I'll have all these ideas in my head of, like, things I want to get done, things I want to do around the house, and I will feel generally energetic in my mind's eye when thinking about these things. But then when the next day comes, like, and I have an overwhelming life with work and kids and all this stuff, for sure, but like, I experience inertia in a way that this piece has started to make me wonder. Like, I wonder if there are times when I am feeling that, like I can't want to, like there's no want in me, if there is this element of my over excitability,

Unknown: 3:55

being, you know, under stimulated. And that's what got me really curious about this is like, is there a purpose to understand? Let's not necessarily just for the audience purposes. Let's not tie over excitability necessarily to the under stimulation. Let's, let's, let's tie it to giftedness, okay, I guess just the intensity of it feels, right? So, yeah, intensity, right? So let's say intellectual giftedness, emotional giftedness, whatever you do, because they're passions, and they are the gifted part where you're processing and able to make pattern connection. And there is this wherever you're gifted, or multiple areas, right? You are drawn towards that kind of content and things like that. So and you need, you need stimulation in those areas, right? And then, of course, you have the over excit abilities, which can, you can have multiple of those, and they can overlap, and all of that. A lot of times I do see them tied to to that, like, if your intellectually giftedness gifted, then having an intellectual over excitability is definitely a possibility. But they're not necessarily the same. So

Elizabeth Brink: 5:14

can you, like, give me an example? Like, what would that what's an example of because these are, like, really big words that can be kind of jargony. So tell me, like, the an example of and it doesn't it can be made up of somebody who has, like, an intellectual giftedness and an intellectual over excitability. What? What might an experience be like for them?

Unknown: 5:39

Okay, so my eldest intellectually gifted, and I he's not going to care that I talk about this. This is like nothing like super personal. But as far as his need to be intellectually stimulated because of that giftedness, he's always been prone to read a lot of books in a lot of different areas over a lot of different like, I mean, loves, literature, poetry, history, philosophy, where it might be going into like an over excitability is if he's reading and that he's tuning everything out and anything anyone else wants to talk about, because he has all of these things that he wants to talk about and process about, this information that he's taking in, and that's the over excitability, yeah, like, where it's, like, it's, it's, I'm kind of derailed, and I'm got tunnel vision outside of anything else, because I've been hijacked by my intellectual pursuit. Because it's exciting, I'm excited. It's exciting, it's exciting, and whatever. Okay, so then, but at the same time, because he's intellectually gifted, he does need a lot of stimulus in that area. So he, you know, has always been someone who would go to school not get that stimulation, because a lot of what public education offers is not really that interesting, and it's kind of boring. And so he'd have side projects at home, side pursuits at home. I mean, he was telling me who Bernie Sanders was when he was like, sixth grade, you know, that kind of a thing. So they need all that they need that stimuli. They need access to that, not necessarily what I define as intellectual stimulation, but what he's interested in. I mean, I could say, oh, well, here read about this, or go do something in this. But they have all have their own flavor, too. I'm hearing you say it's a need, it's a need. It's, it's a social emotional need. It's a neural need. It's, it's absolutely why gifted education exists and why it's something that is required. There's a social emotional component to giftedness, and then there's also this intellectual in academic, or whatever it may be, I'm going to use Academic because schools don't often offer other types of like ways to stimulate, stimulate, offer stimulation or or, you know, around the arts and stuff like that, just kind of depends on where they go to school, but that's the general kind of understanding

Elizabeth Brink: 8:47

of it. So then what happens to a kid that doesn't get that at school and doesn't have side quests at home and is just like generally, not able to get that need for intellectual stimulant, stim,

Unknown: 9:04

simulation. Why are you jumping around this word? I don't know, intellectual

Elizabeth Brink: 9:07

stimulation. They're like. It's like, in low supply in any area of their life, then

Unknown: 9:13

or not the right supply, right? There might not be enough, or it might not, or it might be. They're able to read, but they don't have any peers to talk out things and ideas with, because then they also have their own processing, you know, modalities and these different things that just make them uniquely them. Well, that chronic under stimulation that bore out, right? It can look a lot like depression and anxiety and so, you know, when my eldest does not have enough of that, I mean ruminating, you know, your body will take over and start stimulating in ways that it needs, even if it's not good. So self sabotaging behaviors, things like that. So when we're talking about, you know, gifted Ed and people getting their needs met in school, it's why understanding what that means is so important for educators. Because it's not more, it's not giving a kid more, it's giving them different. It's giving that. It's them giving them the space to know who they are, understand what they're like, unique print is, and then offering space autonomy, novelty, different things for them to explore that part of themselves. And but a lot of people will misunderstand that, and they'll just get a lot of extra work, which is boring, which just contributes to that under stimulation. It can also look like, you know, someone like an adult who's going to work and like this, bore out this chronic understimulation of just just not being satisfied. I mean, I have an audience flashing. It's like you want to do everything, but that you're looking for everything in your room. So some people might call that ADHD, but this could be giftedness bore out, or, you know, being understimulated When you are doing some kind of rote. You know, task every day that you have to show up and do, and it's like death, having being gifted person and being bored. It hits different it's painful. I mean, talk about not wanting to do your work.

Elizabeth Brink: 11:39

It's so confusing, too. I mean, yes, I am having so many flashes to jobs I've had where I have and clients, even who have expressed this where, like, I have not been able to explain why I have not been able to do anything like, literally do my job, and it'll be like the job I've I vied for and I got and then at some point, there'll be some thing where it's like, oh, a majority of your role is going to be you're going to collect this, and you're going to put it in this place, and you're going to let people know this, and you're going to do that on a whatever basis. And I'm like, No, I'm not going to do it. And and also thinking about a couple of years ago how I got burnt out on social media, and I'm wondering if I got bore out on social media as somebody who was like, posting content on there, it just became, I mean, that actually is the description. It was boring to me. I was like, this is boring everybody, lots of other people already saying this stuff. And like, I don't want to spend my energy creating these little graphics in Canva. And I just felt like, oh, I guess I'm just burnt out, which I that was part of it, because I was working too much. But I think in that particular thing, it's like, anytime there's a part of my job that requires me to do the same thing on a regular basis, I inevitably don't do that thing and and then all this other you know, consequences and stuff happen, and so long as there's some element of it that's new and different, that's novel, and that challenges me intellectually. I can, like, refresh. I think it's why I do all this professional development. You know, it's like, Oh, something more to learn about, to help support people even better. And it makes the work that I do. It keeps it fresh. So meeting with clients is something that I've not experienced that bore out with, like the it's the only area of my work I have not experienced that with, maybe ever. And I think it's because I'm working with different people with different stories and different nervous systems, and I'm learning all these different tools and adding them in all the time, kind of creating my own, like, self paced program, and I hadn't thought about it in terms of boredom before. Yeah.

Unknown: 14:08

I mean, you know, I think if you were to just see clients, you probably would get bored, but it's the fact that you have this kind of multi layered approach to your actual job that requires, or that you give yourself that intellectual stimulation, which so you have some autonomy to do that. So autonomy is really important, and the novelty so going into the somatics and stuff like that that you've been able to go into, and that's why, I think for someone who is gifted or gifted in especially in multiple areas, it's really important to remember there's a lot of shame around not sticking with things, yeah. And I look at it as like, you know, you're evolving and expanding, you know, right now, like you're so. Into somatics, and you've done all this training, and every time you go, I know, like, you always have all these things that you just love to talk about, and I know that it's a long time of integrating all of that. So I get that that's you've got a, you know, a big piece of pie that you you got to work with for a while, right? Which is great, but let's say, like, five years down the road, you decide to shift into some other niche or whatever, because maybe you've spent five years doing a deep dive and learning and incorporating that, and this is where people, especially if you are the child of boomers, where someone will say, why can't you just stick to one thing? Or, why can't you, you know, you found this niche, you're so good at it, like you're so talented, we need you to stay and it's like, no, I need me to expand. Because I will never stop expanding. It's one of the when I have talked to people about my career, especially in the last year or so, one thing I've just really, really accepted about myself is that I when I say I'm a lifelong learner, like it's no joke, you're the same way. And so I think all of our siblings are, yeah, um, sometimes people will say that, you know, if they're applying for something or talking about their, you know, gifts or whatever, but we're really researching. You guys have no idea. I'm like, No, we're actually

Elizabeth Brink: 16:33

learning the talking classes and trying new thing. Yeah, you know, it has me thinking about mom. So I I'm not, I feel like I could go a million places. So I'm trying to wrangle in my thoughts a little bit. But it makes me think a mom and this whole idea of like being someone who chronically tries new hobbies is like a hobbyist in that, you know, and I've joked about it, I've written about it. I've written about it in thoughtful ways around like, hey, I really like learning new hobbies. I like learning new things. I don't necessarily want to like do the thing and master

Unknown: 17:11

it. That's your hobby. Is the learning the new thing? Yeah. And so this is

Elizabeth Brink: 17:15

like, making that make so much sense, because I'm like, Oh, right. That isn't just like an ADHD, I just got bored and distracted. That's like part of my giftedness is that the learning is the fun part for me, and the researching and filling a shopping cart and all of these things. And I also am starting to wonder if a lot of the things in my life that feel hard like housework and parenting and Business admin stuff are, you know, they all have this same thread of like, they're repetitive, they're boring, they they feel, um, I often feel defeated by these things because they're just never ending. And sometimes they require executive functioning that I feel like is really hard for me, you know, the follow through and the steps and stuff, and I'm just thinking about, like, the early years of parenting and trying to be at home and work during nap times, and how that kept me barely keeping my head above water, doing too much, right? This idea of over functioning in a season of life that is inherently boring, in roles that are inherently boring, and then pushing your system to like overdrive, because that's the novelty. It's just moving fast and doing a lot, right? Right? Your over functioning

Unknown: 18:42

could have been your you just giving yourself enough fuel to take care of this other part that was going on in your life, not necessarily because you can't sit still or you can't be quiet, or just have just stayed home and been a stay whatever, like it is a different lens in which to look through some of those busy seasons. I mean, and when you think about, you know, our mom, I mean, she had a, like, a domestic type job that did not feel she was also an artist, which she didn't, she rarely got to, like, tap into. And she would, like, we remember, she started building computers from, like, the ground up before anyone was even doing that. She was doing that in our house. We're like, what is happening right now? And she was like, building, you know? I mean, it was just like, okay, whatever. We were in online chat rooms, long before nobody even knew, you know, these, it was like war games, that giant room computer, you know, um, but yeah, I mean, I think, well, yeah, the

Elizabeth Brink: 19:52

kilns, the like porcelain dolls, the embroidery and the embroidery machine, the baking cake,

Unknown: 19:58

yeah? Because when you think about, when you think. Those things that you named, like the office job. I mean, you can do those things, right?

Elizabeth Brink: 20:05

And people like, want to hire me to do these things, yeah, and,

Unknown: 20:09

but they're not interesting to you. And so that's maybe a barometer, or a measure of like, is this? Because I'm afraid to do the task, because it's, it's too hard, or is it hard for a different reason, because it's, it's so boring, it just feels absolutely like death to me right now. I mean, I've had tasks like that where I'm like, especially when I was teaching, because the only thing that got me excited was, I mean, I worked with a bunch of gifted kids, it was like all of us were like a tribe in a room with like each other, just supporting each other, expanding, throwing around ideas. And then an admin would come by and say, you know, don't forget, you need to do this practice test or whatever. And we'd including me, like, what do we going to do? That so dumb, you know, or whatever. I mean, I was right there with them. It was just ridiculous. And I think too, you know, just with what I've been doing the last like few years, I think I've been learning about and thinking a lot more about when I feel down and I feel depressed, usually, just because I haven't created in a while, I haven't, like illustrated anything or written anything or done anything. You know? I mean, it could just even be a matter of a couple of days, yeah, honestly, if I'm just in a really busy, repetitive, like situation, known, if I don't have any new clients, and I'm just kind of in a rhythm, which is great. I love the rhythm, but at the same time, you know, I always kind of need a little bit more and balancing, of, like, not pushing myself so far off the cliff to, like, get that need met, to where I'm like, Oh man, I'm scrambling and trying to, like, you know, put the toothpaste back in the tube, but just, you know, enough to where I'm like, okay, so really learning that about myself, and I also was reminded too, with what you were saying, it just this. Is another reason why being twice exceptional is so confusing is because, you know, I love tending paths on Instagram. I follow her, and she always says something about being bored and overwhelmed, and I feel like that is often the experience of a twice exceptional person is bored and overwhelmed. It's it's trying to find the threshold of like, where I'm over stimulated and where I can find the right stimulation for my brain.

Elizabeth Brink: 22:57

Gosh, it makes me think too. Like you use that word rhythm, and how many people are like striving for a rhythm, trying to find the rhythm. And I wonder if it's kind of for those of us who have this kind of propensity for boredom, for getting bored, and whatever, if there is some element of like, if you're someone who is your whole life been trying to find the rhythm and pursuing like, what's the right rhythm for me, and trying different things, you may never find the rhythm, because part of the stimulation of the process is trying to find it like finding it would be like, the end of you. It'd be like, Oh, even though, like, some of the things about having a rhythm feel like, what other people have that makes their life easier, it's like, oh, they have this rhythm. They have this way of doing things. Their life must be a little less stressful, because some things are on autopilot, yeah, but I just wonder if, like, there's some thread of the areas that we're feeling unsatisfied with and like, we're always tinkering with and trying to, like, find just the right way to do these things, if those are just the things our brain's using to to give us this like outlet for intellectual curiosity, and yeah, it's

Unknown: 24:27

what it's another case for really knowing yourself, because finding what satisfies what you need based on Your own gifts and your own you know, personality is crucial, because, you know, if you're stuck in the shoulds and you're looking around at society and the 10, you know, socially acceptable hobbies or or side pursuits or curiosities, and. Yours is some random, strange, whatever, and you don't want to tap into that because you think it's too weird, or whatever it's like. Well, you're trying to meet a need based on somebody else's worldview, and you really need to know and experiment and understand what like, even with you your curiosity. Like, if someone were saying, like, what are you most curious about? You're most curious about the world. And like, curiosity. I mean, there's no well this year. So when someone asked, like, what are you into? You're like, well, I don't know. For the last month I've been doing a deep dive and blah, blah, blah, my sisters and I've been talking about this. It's like, but it could be something totally different the next week or in three months. Yeah, it's

Elizabeth Brink: 25:53

not going to be like, an identifier, you know, when some people and they're like, Oh, I like D and D, or I, you know, I love puzzles or whatever, like they, they have a thing, and they might be able to use it as, like an affinity identifier. And for me, it's like knowledge. And I don't, I don't know if there is some, like, invisible thread for me over the course of years, that these things kind of, they do kind of link up, but it's so unique to me and to my circumstances and my our family history and stuff that like, it's not one that I would map out and suggest anyone else try to follow like it's just, I would say

Unknown: 26:35

that it's emotional, emotionally gifted, And I would say you have an emotional over excitability as well. And that the thread, I'm just going to say this, I think the thread is around that it's around connection, and you find meaning in the connection, in the dots, in the pattern, because we're very similar that way. Yeah, we like seeing the the things and how they're interconnected, and also interpersonal connection. I mean, there's, there's a connective tissue, yeah,

Elizabeth Brink: 27:19

and that makes me think, like it a lot of that ties back to my trauma, you know, like just attachment wounds of where are the grown ups, and how do I make sure I get what I need? But also, Where do I belong? Like, that's been like my lifelong inner question is, like, Where do I belong? And maybe not even, Where do I belong, but like, more of a statement of like, oh, I don't belong here, oh, I don't belong here, like, I don't belong anywhere, because I have so many different interests and so many different kinds of people and places that I like to be in. I've never had belonging in a strange sense, other than to my family, you guys, you know, and Corey and the kids, it's like that's a different kind of belonging. But socially, I don't, I don't know if I've ever had a period of time where I have felt like I belonged, even within, like, this new se community, where I've done all these intensive trainings, there still are subsections of groups of people who I will see, like, at different breaks, go out to lunch together, and I'm like, oh, at some point they coordinated that, and I'm not involved in that, right? I wasn't on the text, and there's just still this thread in my life of like, oh, I don't totally belong anywhere. And so then when I am without the intellectual or the emotional stimulus, I think I just end up sitting by myself, like watching TV or eating a snack, taking a nap, and I feel so lethargic, and that inertia comes in that I'm like, Yeah, I just think about people who have, like, a place they go that makes them feel alive. And I often feel like that's this other piece of all of this for me is like, I'm so over excitable in all this that only a certain kind of person can, like, be with me for very long in that and I'm finding those people, and I'm finding those places, and it's wonderful, but I just this other experience of sitting In my day to day life, and feeling like I'm just gonna fall asleep, and thinking about the professional spaces I've been in where I've thought, I wonder if I have narcolepsy, and it's co occurring with ADHD a lot, and now I'm like, oh, or is it giftedness? And I'm bored, and my brain is just like, let's just take a nap. How about it? I mean, some. Much so that I don't go to professional conferences unless I have a hotel room in the building, so I can leave any session and go take a nap, because I will feel like I'm going to fall asleep in the middle of Yeah.

Unknown: 30:13

I feel Yeah. I mean, a lot of what you just said, I want to kind of I went off on a rabbit trail there. No no I Okay. So I think this is a very common thing with gifted, slash twice exceptional folks, is having multiple passions and wanting to go intensely, deep into each one of them, and not really having a person or a couple of people, I mean, even one person, who can go to all those places with you and fill that need. And so there's a lot of learning around how to get that need filled. Because here is the thing, then also being twice exceptional, it's very exhausting. So if I were to say to somebody who's gifted, or to my self or my kids, not every person can meet the not one person can meet that need. You need to find multiple people. The prospect of that is very defeating and very exhausting, because the the idea that you're going to go deep with into some of these different things with multiple people, when you feel like it, if you're an introvert, right? And kind of getting going in and out of society. I mean, I think about my eldest, and how much it is such a treasure for him when he finds someone his age, that he can go, even if it's like different subjects, but he can go deep intellectually with have hours long conversations, like, especially, like another dude, like a friend, and who he could also go to dinner with and have a laugh with and go to the movies with. Like, only one or two or three have come through his life, and they are like water in a desert, because being able to find that I can say growing up. I mean, I struggled the same thing. I had my going out friends, and I had my nerd friends that I would hang out with and talk about nerd things, to find somebody in that. I mean, thankfully, I have two sisters that are built in that are like that, and I find so lucky and privileged because you just because being an introvert and also being to E my and being middle aged woman with children, I mean, my, my resources, man, they're just, you know, they're, yeah, I Gotta watch every single one. Yeah,

Elizabeth Brink: 33:01

there's like, this pressure of like, oh, I have an hour and a half till my next client, and what's the evening going to be like. And maybe I should just sit here and let myself be bored and let myself be lazy and rest. But then it becomes this thing where it's like, I don't have a lot of other options, and I feel like, oh, maybe I'm doing that too much. And then this reminder of, like, yeah, no, my I'm tired. Like, I'm definitely legitimately tired. But it's, it's a good thing for me to be curious about, like, Are there times when energetically, I don't feel so sleepy, and I can notice maybe, what is it like in my body when I'm bored? Because I don't know if I have that well identified for myself, of like, what does boredom feel like? Have a sense of it, but

Unknown: 33:57

it kind of reminds me, and I don't, y'all Forgive me, if Elizabeth will track, but maybe everybody, I don't know, we'll see. But it kind of reminds me of when I learned about the different nervous system states, and when you're in activation, learning like freeze is very different. You need connection gentle movement. There's like a stimulation that needs to happen. But sometimes it feels similar to some other states for me, like that are fight, flight, just depending on, yeah, you know, I'm saying, like, yeah, there. There is this, like, I don't, is now the time that I rest? Do I need to move my body? Do I but so I'm not saying they're exactly parallel, but there's like this system within as far as the Under, over stimulation. It's like, am I bored? Am I tired? I don't think. And I think Elizabeth and I continue to come back to this over and over. Or there's no way of getting out of this without knowing yourself and experimenting and asking your body and your like checking in with yourself, of like, I don't know, and maybe I don't have the answer, but maybe I could try something and see if it worked or not, until you kind of, for now, I feel like, for me, I can, in my mind, do a quick checklist of kind of what the last 2448 hours have looked like. And I can say to myself, yeah, like you're bored, like you're bored, so let's go try something. Right? You're not depressed, you know, you're not question. You're not in an existential crisis right now. You're bored. Just go try something to see if it works. And yeah, I'll be like, Oh man, I feel so much better, or whatever.

Elizabeth Brink: 35:54

Oh my gosh. It makes me think of yesterday, one of the kids, at the end of the day, I had made some soup, and I wanted the kids to take our neighbor some soup, and we generally all really enjoy delivering meals next door, but there was like a foot of snow on the ground, and the kids had not really been out in it, and I found it kind of strange, because especially the older one, like, loves being in the snow. And so I just asked, like, would anybody be willing to put their gear on and go take this soup next door? And there was a hesitation. I said, you don't have to. You can tell me no. I was like, No, I don't want to. I was like, that's fine. And then 10 minutes later, that same kid was like, Okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna take the soup next door. And I was like, Okay, great. So I'm getting the soup ready. The kid's getting dressed up, and goes out and goes on to the side porch of our next door neighbors, and I'm watching out the window because it's freezing out, it's dark, whatever, making sure she doesn't stand there for too long. And as the handoff happens, kiddo turns around and looks at me and is like, Can I play? It was like, just needed to get in motion and then get into the environment. And then the other one got geared up and went out too. And it was like, so good. Like, bedtime went so well. They it was really good for their little bodies. They they love. I was only out there 15 minutes because it's so cold. But that idea of like it does remind

Unknown: 37:26

me that a lot of people don't they, they're not aware of when they're bored or understimulated. Yeah, it can feel like something else. And listen, we're all guilty of this, you know, I don't we say to our kids, I don't want to hear that you're bored, you know. And like, they hear that at school from their teachers. So sometimes there's not, like, total safety and freedom saying that you're bored or whatever. But I think for a lot of these kids, especially, you know, with like, interception differences and like, just all the different things that are happening or not, having their bodies like they, you know, they just don't feel good

Elizabeth Brink: 38:01

well. And adults, I mean, it's also not socially acceptable as an adult to

Unknown: 38:06

just be like, I'm bored. Go to your boss and be like, I'm so bored. I cannot with this.

Elizabeth Brink: 38:11

Cannot with this. Cannot with this. Yeah, your boss would be like, What

Unknown: 38:16

can I make the presentation into? Like a dance sequence? It would

Elizabeth Brink: 38:19

be so risky, right? It would just be so risky. Yeah, I think this is helpful. I'm just noticing we've been talking for a while, but I'm going to keep thinking about this, because I think that there's something here for me to be a little more in tune with for myself, and encouraging others around me to really be curious about, like, I don't know, being a little bit nicer to ourselves when we're bored. Like, is it boredom? And if it is, can I be gentle and kind and curious about, like, what might help me move through that state, versus I'm bored? Like, who's bored? You're not bored. You're tired. Take a nap. It's like, what if I need some kind of stimulation, right now? What would that look like? Well, yeah.

Unknown: 39:08

And Okay, one more thing, let me say this too, because it also reminds me of, you know, parents will say, Get off your devices. You need to be bored. And you'll hear experts say, let your kids be bored, or they won't use their imaginations. They won't do these different things. And I don't think that's enough. I think we they need a little guidance. They need a little guidance of like, okay, it's not just about and I'm not talking about every kid, but our neurodivergent kiddos. I mean, some of them, you know myself, but I mean, I've got one who will always find something to do. I've got one that wouldn't necessarily things. Only one or two things might occur, and those probably wouldn't be as satisfying. And so, you know, yeah, let them be bored, and I'm not talking about entertaining them. But, like, I. I really feel like my therapist said this to be a long time ago, those first couple of interactions where you have to really parent them, and it takes a minute, but then they catch on, and then they know how to do it, or whatever. I feel like you know that could be one of those experiments that not give them ideas, but like, what would ask them a couple pointed questions, like, what would feel good to do right now? Like, what, what do you feel like you need? And just let them try to figure it out. But not just say, Get off your device. And, you know, whatever, I don't know. I mean, I

Elizabeth Brink: 40:35

think too, like the environment piece, like, when my kid was outside last night, it was like, Oh, wait, I like this. I want to be here longer. I want to do this thing. And I think about that inertia puzzle out and going, or when I was doing diamond art over the break, yeah, like, if that's out, I'm much more likely to, like, put a podcast in and go sit at that puzzle or that thing, which is pretty satisfying. And we

Unknown: 41:02

do forget, like, what we really enjoy. Sometimes clients will sit there and they'll brainstorm on a piece of paper so they can visually see. These are things that really light me up, and I really enjoy, because when they're in that, they can't think of anything, you know, and nothing sounds good. And nothing sounds good, yeah, okay. And then then we get into the whole like, motivation thing, which we know usually follows action, so, you know, which could be a whole other podcast, but I feel like, you know, yeah, I don't know, yeah. It's like, it's okay

Elizabeth Brink: 41:34

to feel bored. And also, if you're having an experience where you're feeling it a lot, and you would like to be using that time in a way that isn't just sitting and thinking, I guess I'm bored, which is what I think about somebody

Unknown: 41:48

who needs to move, and you're sitting at a desk all day, and maybe all you need to do is get up and shut your blinds and do a little dance, or do some Jumping jacks, or go to the bathroom. And it's

Elizabeth Brink: 42:02

just helpful for me to think in terms of boredom versus like, Oh, my body needs me to move or, oh, I need even food sometimes.

Unknown: 42:12

But if you are gifted physically psycho mode, I mean, that's what I'm trying to mean. I'm not talking about, like, you know, moving your body because it's healthy or whatever. I'm talking about, like, because of that. And you need the stimulus. You need that stimulus, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, we gotta go. I mean, it's been an hour. No, it has not, has it? Okay? No, um, okay, almost. Do we need this for on the way out? I don't think we need that. Next time I will bring the instrument. Okay, listen, none of us remembered. I ran in and got this out of my kid's room, and I was we first started to do it, I suppose playing it with my left hand instead of my right. I'm right handed, so it was

Elizabeth Brink: 42:59

very I mean, all these reasons for all these reasons, our intro music is subpar, yeah, I apologize. Okay, all right, this was really helpful. Thank you Sure.

Unknown: 43:09

I love you. Love you too. Bye. Have a good rest your day. You too, bye, bye.