Hello, Hello. It is Super Bowl Sunday when I'm recording this. The game has actually already started. It's kind of funny this year because, my kids like, so my son, he usually cares. He might not pay attention to the whole thing, but he does care. He doesn't have like a specific team that he cheers for.
I guess maybe he cheers for the Patriots 'cause that's who my husband cheers for. But my girls normally would not care at all. But of course, I. They're Swifties. And so this year they're like sudden Chiefs fans. So it's a funny year this year, but yeah, I'm just wanted to record this quickly at least before the games gets going too far and don't wanna miss the halftime show either.
So today I am going to talk about motivation and how it affects us as people with ADHD, how that ties into when you have a weight loss goal. And everything that that entails. And so I have a few things just off the bat that I wanna talk about, but like, like I've talked about before, I'm going to give you a little outline of what to expect.
So I'll talk about a few things beforehand, but then I'm going to have six ways that this. Like, you know, the way that motivation may or may not show up for you and, and kind of the struggles that you might have as somebody who is neurodiverse. And then I'm going to tell you about nine things that you can do to help it.
And again, like this is really bugging me that I have six of one thing and nine of another, but I was like, eh, I'm not just gonna like cram in three extra things there just to, just for the sake of it. And I wanna keep this episode a little shorter because I tend to ramble even though I, it's one of those ADHD paradoxes where it's like, it's paradox, right?
Word. Where you, you like are really resistant and can't stand something, but then you like totally do it yourself. So I'm like, I like short, concise things, but I don't tell things in a short, concise manner. So anyhow, so yeah. So let's talk about motivation. So I know you guys might all have. E experience this in so many facets of your life, but I find with so many things, like we really want to get started on something.
We know what we need to do to get started on something, but we just aren't able to get going or get any kind of forward progress. And for somebody from the outside looking in or looking at us, they might think that it kind of appears that maybe we're lazy. Like we're not motivated or even that we don't care, and that's why we're not like going for it, and that this can be even more confusing because.
Quite often we don't struggle with this when it comes to things that we actually like, like or enjoy or are really interested in, or maybe would develop a hyper focus on for a period of time. You know? So like the. I don't know if you have hobbies or a certain type of, of your, like a certain part of your work that you actually like doing, and you never struggle to get that part done.
That's not even a thing because it interests you and it kind of meets those needs. But when it comes to other things. You can, you just cannot get started. And so that can create even more confusion to somebody who doesn't understand how it works for us to look at us and say like, why can't you just do this?
Like, why? You must be lazy and they, it really kind of, to me, I see it as it's, it sets off this cycle, at least this has been my experience, is that you kind of set out to do something. You really want to do something, but you can't seem to get yourself going like we just talked about. And then people will say, will actually like say to you.
Like, or like give the impression that you like that they are thinking that you are lazy or you just yourself perceive that like that's what people must be, think. People must be thinking that I'm lazy. People must be thinking that I don't care or I'm not trying. And then you internalize that whether they actually say it or intend it or not.
You internalize that and then you start beating yourself up and you think maybe I am just a lazy. Pathetic person. And then you're set even further back from starting the thing that you wanna start, because now you're having all of these feelings and you're really coming down on yourself and you end up feeling overwhelmed.
You are uncomfortable, guilt, shame. You start like judging yourself and then you feel awful because you went through all of this, all of the mental energy of like wanting to start the thing, not being able to garner up. The, I don't know, will. Willpower, I don't even know if that's the right word, not being able to garner this up and then this flood of emotions and thoughts and feelings about yourself because you didn't make it happen.
And so you go through all of this and then you're no farther along than you were at the start, except now you just feel really awful. And guess what? This is not, this is not. I'm gonna motivate you, like you cannot guilt or shame yourself into change. And then success. So it ends up on this cycle. And if we don't recognize that this is how we think and how we operate, we can't sort of interrupt that pattern, and we need to find a way to acknowledge that your brain just goes about these kind of things differently.
You don't need. It is not gonna help you to have outside judgment or judgment that's coming from yourself, and you just have to find a way to kind of play with the strengths that your brain has to be able to like get going. In a different way than other people because it, it's really important to remember that what works to motivate like to, to garner motivation for neurotypical people is not tailored to an ADHD brain.
And it probably won't work the same for you. So it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, it just. That those methods are often ineffective for us. And you also have to remember that it's not voluntary. It's not that you are deliberately being like, well, I'm just not gonna do, I'm just choosing not to be motivated.
Like that's not how it works. It's just different and. One last thing I wanna say before we start talking about my six things is that coping skills, like things that you might do to like kind of white knuckle your way through something is not the same as motivation. Like it, it always makes me think of like.
The biggest loser. Remember that when they'd have that show and they'd be like yelling at the participants and they, you know, that kind of stuff, like suffering through something, whether that's somebody else telling you to do it a certain way or you kind of like forcing yourself into accomplishing something.
That is not the same as motivation. That's just like a way of coping. Right, so like change or action or whatever it may be that's fueled by like anger or shame or anxiety, that's not. Healthy, sustainable change. Right? So I just wanna make sure that we differentiate that because you might think, well I've done this in the past.
I was able to like, you know, really bear down and actually like do this thing. But maybe that's not the same. That doesn't mean you were motivated that time. It could have just been that you were white-knuckling your way through it. So that's just not the same thing. I just wanna make sure that we differentiate here.
'cause we're talking about true. Like motivation and actual like going for it and, and making change. And, and also just to add on here, this isn't part of my notes or my other things, I just wanna make sure that we also remember that like it's action that breeds this, this kind of stuff, right? So like actually taking the action is what's gonna get the ball rolling.
It's not like we just wait around for motivation to magically show up, right? So, I don't know. We don't always have to be waiting for motivation, but it is something that we have to acknowledge that it comes about differently for us with ADHD. Okay, I've already talked too long. Let's get going. So here are six different ways that it might show up for you.
So overwhelm. Like we, we become so easily overwhelmed with information. Even if it doesn't seem like to an outsider, they might think like, this is not a big deal. But if we have something that we're like, a little bit resistant to or like isn't natural for us and there's. You know, just even just one too many pieces of information.
It's so easy for us to get overwhelmed and then we get into kind of paralysis, and then from the paralysis it's like impossible for us to know, like we can't just pick a starting point. And you, and it's, it's so hard because you know, you need to do things to get going. Like we just talked about before, like that action breeds this.
You know, that you need to do things to get going, but no matter how hard you try to get yourself going, you just legit cannot get going because the overwhelm led to that sort of paralysis. So this is one way that it might show up for you. I know I've experienced that. Number two is boredom. You can't, it's so hard to get yourself to pay attention to or to find a way to be interested in or just get started at all in any way on a task that you've already like decided is boring, whether you mean to or not, and it can be like excruciating and next to impossible.
See, we are so. Like, we just react so strongly to boredom or the idea of boredom, and especially with the things that are like repetitive. So, I don't know, think, I'm trying to think of an example as it relates to weight loss. Like if it's you know. Our brains just want novelty and like stimulation.
So if it's something that you would have to do repeatedly and it's super boring for you, it's, it really makes sense that you might struggle to get going with something like that because we just are so reactive and Reactive to boredom. Number three is anxiety, right? So if you feel anxious, it's really easy to feel like you can't concentrate on something.
You might feel like that kind of panicky, restless feeling. As a result of it. And then you can't concentrate on anything because your nervous system, your body, your brain, whether you're aware of it or not, it's so like tied up in the anxiety that it can't sort of shift its focus onto getting going on a new thing.
So if you're experiencing anxiety, that could be one of the reasons why you struggle to get started on things. Number four is shame and discomfort. And that's really just that cycle that I mentioned earlier. I just always think of people being like, why can't you just do it? Just do it. Just start like it's so simple and they don't understand why we can't just start.
And that really can set you back further. So if you're already in a place where you're feeling shame and discomfort, and I mean, I this see this so often and it just breaks my heart. With people. And again, it's just why I even talk about all this stuff because I am so getting angry guys. I just feel like when I think of women with, well, anybody with ADHD and.
Somebody, I mean, if it's a coach especially, it makes me mad, but anybody just being like, why don't you just do it? Just get up and do it. Like if you wanted it, why can't you just do it? Why can't you just eat less? I gotta calm down, get mad, but that, that can like so easily trigger this sense of shame and discomfort and.
That is not gonna motivate you. Okay, let's move on from that because I'm all mad now. Okay, number five is task urgency, reliance. So, I don't know, I don't even know why I put those words together to explain it, but I. Because that sounds like very complicated, but really, basically all I'm saying is like, it's, it's so natural for us to because our brains need that, like we talked about earlier, that we need that like novelty and excitement and, and when something becomes urgent, it can feel like motivation because we're just kind of relying on that like, ugh, tight deadline.
To actually do something, so when there's that urgency or the deadline or whatever, like we might be able to get going. But if that's not there um, it can be really hard for a lot of people with ADHD, but at the same time, like relying on that urgency is not a super healthy way to do things and it's, it doesn't help.
When it's something that like you have to do or you want to do that doesn't really have specific deadlines on it. So when I think about it in the, in the context of weight loss, there's usually not a deadline on that, right? Like, there's not, like A, you must lose this weight by December 19th. I don't know why I picked that date.
But because there's no timeline on it and nothing that can pressure you towards the end, for some people that can be really, like, really make it hard for them to get going on something. So that was number five and number six is that your energy gets drained. Your energy gets drained so easily on a day-to-day basis.
Like even just thinking of like your daily tasks. So neurotypical people, they can self-start. Pretty easily and follow through with routines without like hardly thinking about it. When you think of just like the Monotonous things that we do every day, like it takes a lot of mental energy for us to do some things that to some somebody who doesn't experience ADHD.
It's like, do you, how do you even have to think about it? But we sometimes we just really have to talk ourselves into and build ourselves up to do normal things like brushing your teeth. Right. And so when you think the, about the fact that we are already kind of starting out at a disadvantage with dopamine and executive function.
And then it takes so much more of us from us to get going if we don't really sort of plan ahead and have systems set up for ourselves and find ways to put things kind of on autopilot as much as possible, we can get tapped out before the day is like barely even started. So. When you think about that mental energy drain, it makes sense that it's hard to just on top of your everyday stuff, to try to find a way to motivate yourself to do new things.
Yeah. So you are not crazy. Lemme say that again. You are not crazy. I, I've, I don't know. I really wish somebody would've told me that for so many years. You're not crazy. You're not lazy. Ugh. Anyways. Okay, so let's talk about the ways that the nine different things that I've come up with or researched and identified that we can do to try to help this.
You know, I don't wanna say lack of motivation because that's not really what it is, but with just the way that our brains work differently. We don't just get motivated like a neurotypical person. Okay. So number one, and I'm sure you have heard this before, but breaking things up into smaller tasks, like really small, there is nothing wrong with breaking things up really small because if things are not, you know, overwhelming, like we talked about before, if they don't feel like so insurmountable you have a much more, you have a much better chance of being able to actually achieve them.
So. What if, figure out what it is that you wanna do, break it up into even smaller tasks and like have them identified so that you can check that off, because that is what number two is, which is to recognize and celebrate yourself for completing small tasks. That is so mo like for me, I find that so motivating that just.
Check. I know I've heard other people talk about this before where they'll have like a list of things they wanna do and if they finished something but it wasn't on their list, they'll put it on the list so that they can have that little dopamine hit of like checking it off or crossing it off or whatever.
For real, that stuff makes a big difference. So every little thing that you do. That is a good decision. That is a, a one move in the right direction. Like any little thing, I don't care how small it is, you recognize that and you celebrate yourself because it's amazing. Like these are the little things that are gonna fuel us and keep us going.
So celebrate those small things that you do. Number three is to assign a small amount of time to work on the task because. Like if, if things are small and they're doable and they're sort of finite, like they have a a, a set time, that can be. A much easier way to get yourself to actually accomplish it.
Because if it seems kind of like wishy-washy and subjective and I have no idea how long this is gonna take, then you're like gonna have a harder time to even start it. So an example I'm thinking of is if you wanted to what's a good example? Movement. Okay. Say you wanted to develop a movement habit and you think, okay, you know what, maybe I'll just do five minutes of a fitness video that I found on YouTube.
And that sounds like, well, what's the point of that? There's a big point to that because that, you already know, your brain is like, it's almost like a, like a sigh of relief for your brain that it's like it's five minutes. I could do five minutes seriously. Click on the tv, find the thing or the tablet, whatever it is, find the video and say, I only have to do five minutes, and that's it.
Then boom. Finished your five minutes, you prove to yourself that you can actually accomplish things. You get to check that off your list, you can celebrate that, and then it was a small task and those little teeny tiny things are gonna add up over time. So yeah, assigning the small amount of time to the whatever small piece of something that you want to do can really make a big difference because it's not so like subjective and open-ended.
Okay, number four is to change things up and keep it interesting. So if you are somebody who struggles with things like, well, this addresses the boredom that we talked about, but if you. Don't want to stick to the same boring routine unless you actually really like it. Like I know I get like that with food where I want to eat the same thing for long periods of time, and that's okay.
But if you do get bored really easily change things up and find ways to keep it interesting. So this can also help you because then you can look forward to variety or new, exciting things. So I don't wanna, I don't wanna keep using movement as the example, but this is the easiest one to think of is like trying new things or you know, going to a different place or like trying new,
And you know, if, if it comes to cooking, like trying new vegetables, I don't know. That doesn't sound very exciting. Trying new vegetables does not sound exciting. I don't know, try new flavor of something, but just finding ways to keep it interesting can help with that. Because if it's the boredom, that's a struggle for you.
It can be helpful. Number five is to. Kind of redefine or sort of dig down on the reason why you wanna do something in the first place, because I know that, I know so many of you are gonna understand this and experience this, but if you are doing something because you quote-unquote should, or because somebody told you you're probably not gonna do it, I know as soon as somebody like.
Even if I wanna do something and then somebody tells me to do it, I don't want to do it anymore. So if you are trying to make change or do these kind of things because you think you should, that's not helpful. So try to really redefine why you want to do something. 'cause if you want to, the outcome is desirable to you, you are way more likely to do it.
'cause you don't, you don't really see like. This is where future, like visualizing future you who's like, succeeded and done all these things can come in really handy because with weight loss, we don't see like the outcome right away. It's not like, oh, I ate a salad and, and, and then my body's like totally different.
Like, that doesn't happen, right? So we don't, we don't get a lot of satisfaction immediately when we're doing all of the things that are the building blocks towards sustainable weight loss. So if you have a really deep connection to the reason why you're doing it, and you can visualize and see the future success of it, that can really help.
So, but you can't see that unless you know the real reason and the the why of why you're doing it. So. Anyhow. Don't do it just because somebody told you to. Not that I think you're going to. I know you won't. Okay. Number six is to tap into your strengths and the likes, your strengths and your likes, because.
If you can do, like, tackle the things that you wanna do in a way that you enjoy it, you are obviously way more likely to do it. And maybe there's some things that you already know you're really good at that contribute to reaching your goals. So you know, doing it in the way that you will actually do it, you're gonna do it more likely.
So if it's like, yeah, and here we go with movement as an example, but you know, if you are. Trying to force yourself to move in a way that you like really hate, like maybe you hate. Cardio. Maybe you hate like step classes, but you're gonna step classes. 'cause you think that's, that's what's close.
That's what I'm, I should do. That's what my friend did and she lost weight, so I guess I'm gonna do that. No, no, no, no. Don't do that. Do something that you actually like as random as it is, like or something that you know you're good at, and then you can, you're more, much more likely to stick with it and follow through and, and build up that motivation.
I. Number seven is to ask for help. Don't be afraid to ask for help or to develop some system of accountability. That could be with a coach like me or that could be with, your partner, or it could be with a friend, a co-worker. It could be somebody on the internet that, you know, like it doesn't matter if you have somebody to help you with accountability or somebody to help you out.
Like I don't recommend telling your, your partner to you know, don't, if, if I start to eat bad food, look, don't, there's no good or bad food. But I mean, like, don't. I don't recommend saying like, stop me if I'm going to eat chips, because that can lead to some like really rough moments. I've, I've done that so many times.
Don't tell, tell me when I'm going to, when I'm going to eat chips, tell me to stop. And then when he tells me to stop, I'm like. How dare you. So I don't recommend, maybe that works for some people, it doesn't work for me, but that, what I mean is like finding other ways that you can ask for help. Like maybe you, you want, you need somebody to watch the kids so you can go, I don't know, go do something that you wanna do or you need somebody to help you.
Grocery shop. I don't know. There's so many things, but we need to find, we are so, like, we try to, we really do try to do everything ourselves. And this is one area where I really want you to just see if there are ways that you can ask for help or find somebody to keep you accountable. Some people really like body doubling.
You could always do that too. I don't think it really works for me, but I know it does for some people. I get all kind of self-conscious about, I don't know, it's weird. 'cause I know some people really, really love it. But anyhow, just ask for help. Okay, number eight is to find ways to make it fun. And we did kind of already touch on this before with you know, tapping into your strengths and your likes and that kind of thing.
But what I mean here is more, some people really benefit from. Doing things like gamifying it or finding a way to create the excitement of like competition or pairing activities or things that you don't really wanna do as much with things that you actually really like to do. So for gamifying it you know, some people really love how the having to close the rings on their Apple Watch or,
you know, they really like numbers, so they love tracking things on a spreadsheet or, the competition part of it. Like maybe if you're like, I know my mom and my sister do this, where they like they're friends on the Apple, I think it's on the Apple Watch, and then they try to get to goals before the other, like little things like that can really make it a little bit more exciting and more fun.
And I know like when it comes to weight loss, you have to be, you do have to be careful here because for some people, the, some people who really love the numbers. That's where they might really thrive with things like food journaling or like not even food journaling, but like using apps to track calories and macros and stuff like that.
I. I don't recommend that for everybody, but I do think for some people they, they really quite enjoy that. If that works for you, I am not gonna tell you not to do it. But yeah, just finding ways that you can make it fun for yourself can super, super help. Okay. Last one. Have a plan or a to-do list.
And before you get me, like, don't tell me to do, to make lists or have, don't tell me to get a planner. That's not at all what I'm saying. What I am saying is that you can 'cause this can help with the overwhelm is to just get everything out of your head that you're thinking about. Is gonna like that, that this whole thing that you're working towards what it entails.
Like what are all the things that you wanna do? What are the things that you feel like you have to do? What are the different steps? What are the Yeah, everything. Just get it all, who cares what it looks like? Get it all out of your head and then organize it into a, either a to-do list or some kind of a plan, or whatever works for you.
Everybody's so different. Whatever system works for you, find a way to just get it out of your head and clear up that overwhelm and, and form it into your format, your desired format, and translate that into. Some kind of a strategy. It doesn't have to be complicated or fancy or anything. It's whatever you like and whatever works for you.
But that is gonna help with overwhelm, it's gonna help with feeling like you don't know where to start. And, and, and it can also help you with breaking it up into the smaller tasks like we talked about before. So anyhow, oh gosh. Almost half an hour, I thought. I thought for sure this was gonna be a shorter one.
But anyhow, if you ever want help with any of this stuff, especially with accountability, how, how to strategize on a plan just working through all of these components together, I can always help with that. So anytime, feel free to get in touch with me. Set up a call. I would love to work with you too.
So anyhow, that's what I have today for motivation. I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your week, and I will talk to you next week.
