46. Acknowledging your growth

This week we are discussing how important it is to acknowledge how far you have come and the growth that you have experienced.

It's so easy to think about how far we have to go, or to simply focus on the change that is yet to happen or where we want to get to. But it's really necessary to look back and see how far we have actually come - this helps to keep the change happening!

We talk all about the importance of looking back and recognizing that change, especially if it's below the surface and not as easy to see.

In the episode, I mentioned my upcoming 4-week group program that will be in its first round - click here to get on the list and be the first to know when you can sign up!

I'd love to hear from you! You can connect with me in the following ways:

Instagram: @thejennwatts
Email: jennifer@jenniferwatts.ca

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I'd love to know if there's something you want to hear more about or if you want to let me know about your own experiences with ADHD and weight loss.

Transcript

Good morning. Well, it's morning for me right now. Not sure when you're listening to this, but I'm actually recording this on the day that it's supposed to come out, which I have not done before. So if you're somebody who listens like immediately to my podcasts, I apologize. This is the first time since I started this podcast that it wasn't ready to go. Like, at the I don't know it's like, midnight on the morning or 1201, on the Thursday. It wasn't there, because it's just been if I've had, like, a very, like, out of source week I had, there's some sickness in my family. I had a weird thing happen with my medication. Anyways, long story short, I decided yesterday I was feeling I was really struggling, and I was like, You know what? I'm better off to record tomorrow and release it a little bit late than to try to, like, force it now when I don't feel ready. So that's where we're at. So here I am. I'm in my closet. It's like 530 in the morning. I'm recording, um, my son actually woke me up early because this video game he's been waiting for came out today. So he wanted to get up early to walk to play that. So anyhow, today I wanted to talk about recognizing the growth that you've had already, versus looking at how far you have to go. And really this kind of a lot of this is discussed in the book, the gap in the gain by Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan. If you have read that book, you know, it's an excellent book. If you haven't read it. I I think it's great. Actually. I think I just listened to the audiobook on that one. But I've been thinking about this a lot lately, because, especially if you're somebody who has a lot of weight to lose, if that's what your goal is, weight loss, but it could relate to really anything else. I mean, I say that with, with, with most things that we talk about, but whatever your goal is, but particularly, obviously on this podcast, we talk about weight loss. But I think it's so easy to not see the change or recognize or acknowledge the change that has already happened in us, unless it's like specifically, like on the scale, or something like that. But so much of the change and growth and, you know, acknowledgement and all these types of things that can happen sort of below the surface or internally or just not visibly, that is, like the stuff that makes the huge difference, but it, but we don't, we don't recognize it enough easily, because it's just not a visible thing. It's not a sort of tangible result, right? And I, like, for me, one of the ways that I recognized how much that sort of unseen change makes a difference. Was when I had been having, like, some good progress and success, and, you know, around 2019, and I really thought, I really truly thought this time, like, I'm doing it right, like I'm really, like, sustainably losing weight. I'm really taking the right approach. I'm really changing my life this time, and then when everything kind of happened in 2020, that happened to, like a lot of us, all of those, a lot of those changes that I thought were just totally deep rooted and long lasting, just kind of like, went out the window, right? And so I think that's, that's a case of, like, you know, maybe the change isn't, isn't exactly what you think it is. But that's not, that's not really the example that I want to talk about. Like, I imagine this, like, you've probably heard this analogy of like, the plant, right? It's not like you, you know, plant a seed, and then the next day, if it hasn't grown, you're like, this plant, this, this, this thing is stupid. Like, why isn't it working? And then you. Just like, dig it up and throw it away. You wouldn't do that, right? Because so much of the growth, it just takes time, right? It's like the roots slowly going in and things developing below the surface that you can't really see, and that is critical, right? It's critical for the life and the success of the growth of the plant, right? And you wouldn't just be like, Oh, this is stupid. Nothing's happening. And I give up. I give up on this plant. But we do that with ourselves so easily, so easily. And I think now, like, especially since I recognized the connection between my ADHD symptoms and traits and how those affect not only like the reasons why, how it's tied to the reasons why I gained weight in the first place, but also how much it affects my the process and the ability of my, of me to lose weight. This change like it really is below the surface, and for a long time, like it seemed like nothing happened, even though I was having these like crazy explosive like light bulb moments and recognition and understanding of myself for all the way back to, like, you know, when I was, like 13 or something, so many things made sense. And really having to sit with that and understand it. That's the stuff that makes the difference. But we don't notice it. We don't acknowledge it, and that and I mean, it makes sense that we don't, right, because there's so much immediate gratification out there when it comes to weight loss, especially if people are doing things like keto or or, like, really, like, really drastically cutting their calories, or whatever they're they're doing where they see this kind of, like, instant weight loss, right? Anybody can really do that. But is that actually going to be the change that you want? Probably not, right? And so I think there's so little value placed on that, that that growth and change that can happen that is not visible. And in this book, like they do talk about the gap in the gain, right? And so, like, I'm not going to do it justice by explaining it, but the gap is basically like when you're when you're in the position and you're looking so far ahead to where you want to go, like what your sort of end goal is, and looking at that from, like, where you are right now to where you want to be, that's sort of the gap. But if you look retroactively and see from where you have been in the past, where you are now and recognizing that growth and change, that's the gain, and so we always want to be in the gain and noticing that growth and change, because that is what's going to keep us going. Because when we don't acknowledge that stuff, it's so easy to think nothing is happening, and I should just give up, and I have so far to go. And it's just disheartening, right? When you think about how far you have to go, especially as I mentioned, like, if you're someone who has a goal of losing a lot of weight, it can be really tough, because you think nothing is happening. Nothing is happening. The scale's not moving. Like I can't do this forever. It can be really tough. However, if we intentionally take the time to notice the growth that has actually happened, even as little like the littlest of changes that can really help you to last in this process, that is the stuff that's going to keep you going. I actually dug up one quote from the book, excuse me, that I try to keep in mind. And it said, if you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack. So I know that's kind of like maybe
I'll read No, I won't read it again. You can listen again if you want, but it just it is so true that if we don't acknowledge how far we've come, we kind of just lose perspective, and we're just always thinking about what we don't have. But that recognition of your own growth really does kind of give you the momentum that you want, but I do understand how easy it is to not see that, and we have to be really intentional about it, especially as people with ADHD, because it is really easy to not see it's really. Easy to not see, and that's that's one of the reasons why I really encourage people to do things like some kind of assessment or journaling or or anything, to recognize the change that's actually happening, or the just little, teeny, tiny decisions that you made that were like, positive or like, are the things that are going to move you in the right direction if we are not intentional about noticing those things and recognizing those things, not only does that factor into like learning to trust ourselves, right, but without that acknowledgement, it's so easy to think nothing is happening. The other like example that this really makes me think of is a couple times now, my family and I have done renovations in our home, and I remember like when this was so this was 20. No, when was this? It was the year after my daughter was born. So I think it was 20. So I think it was 20 It was either 2017 or 2018 it must have been 2018 we did renovations in our home, and we were fortunate enough to be able to, like, basically, live in the basement while this was happening, because our whole, like, our kitchen, was ripped apart and and all this stuff. So we were still living in our house during this renovation. And so I remember like we would have to go through the renovation area to get to our bedrooms. And, you know, they'd have all that the plastic sheets up and and so going through there every day, I remember there was, like, long stretches of time where I could hear the guys working upstairs, and I knew they were there, but it just looked visually, it looked like nothing was happening for weeks, for weeks. And I remember thinking, like, are that like, what are they even doing? Like, like, when they get the show on the road, like, I want to get back into my house. Like, what are they like? It's like they're not even doing anything. But really, so much of the work that they were doing at that stage was not like, visual like, it like, I don't even know, like, because I'm not a construction person, but I know it would be things like leveling the floors and like, I don't even know, but I know that, like now, in retrospect, I know that, like, that work was critical to making sure that the foundation of what was being done was really, like, accurate and proper and everything, because you can't keep going and have like a good Quality, you know, construction or renovation, unless you do the sort of below the surface stuff really accurately and really right. But it did for so long look like nothing was happening. And can you imagine if I had said to them, well, you're obviously not doing anything like, this isn't working. Get like, just stop. Imagine. Imagine if I was just like, clearly, you're not even actually doing any work, so just, why don't you just leave and give up? But don't we do this to ourselves? We do this to ourselves all the time. We're like, oh, the scale didn't go down. And I feel like I'm like, doing all this work and nothing is happening, but so much of it is like unseen change, and we can't just give up on it, right? But if we it's instead, just acknowledge it and say, like, oh man, like I'm doing the good work. I'm creating a solid foundation for myself. I know this is going to really work. And just, you know, notice the good things that you've done that can make such a big difference. Because, like, going back to the construction comparison, like I said, there would be, like it was, this is for weeks where there's no visual change, but I could hear them, and I knew they were working, and then it's like nothing happens. And then all of a sudden, everything happens at once. Because I remember just over, like, a few days, all of a sudden it was like, Oh my gosh, like, the the the cabinets come into the kitchen and, like, this comes in, and that comes in, and everything seemed to happen so fast. Because all of a sudden the visual, like, visually, you could see what was happening, and it just like the growth became, like visually recognizable. But in the meantime, for a long period of time, it was like nothing was happening. But we really need to focus on the growth that has happened. And I know that is so much easier said than done, and it requires patience, and it requires like, trying to, yeah, trying not to have that sense of urgency, because we can do surface change, like, if you if all you care about is the visual you really can, like you. Just do quick, you know, quick result, surface level dieting or something like that. But, but is that really gonna last, or are you just gonna be doing the same thing over and over and over again? So anyhow, I guess my, my biggest thing that I want to stress is that it's so important to just acknowledge the effort, the change, the growth that is happening, especially especially if you're somebody who has ADHD and is really wanting to make this change, like developing our awareness and acceptance and taking the time to do things from an approach that is really going to make a difference in your life, like not doing the same thing you've done over and over and over again, that it is easy to say, well, it's worked for me in the past, but did It really? Because, you know it didn't last, right but, but making those real, deep strides and really learning to understand yourself and accept how you operate, and releasing that pressure to do to do it like everybody else, so that you can actually do it for real. You gotta acknowledge that. You gotta give yourself so much credit, and really take the time to notice how far you've come. Like, think back to like, you know, I don't know how far back you'd want to go, but even if you think like, imagine yourself of like a couple months ago. I know I do, what I do is often think of five years ago, me and then, and then, even just in like, daily situations or things that come up and I, and I'll, I'll intentionally think, like, how would Jen of five years ago handled that, you know, or, or just thinking about how I felt when I woke up in the morning five years ago, and then that's a really easy way for me to see, like, wow. Like, I really have come so far, and maybe, you know, a lot of it is so internal that it's not visible. But I just, I just hope you guys can give yourselves credit for this, for this kind of change. So anyhow, that is what I have for you for today. One other thing I want to mention quickly, before I sign off here is that I am putting together a four week program. We are going to be talking a lot about this kind of stuff, like the the kind of setting yourself up for for change, and like, what are the, you know, internal things that we need to acknowledge and, and how can we when we're in this space, especially if we're in that space of overwhelm and, and, you know, even just learning that, you know, Maybe your ADHD has affected these things for you when it comes to weight loss, where do I even start? Just what do I do? How do I do this for real? So developing this program, it's going to be, yeah, like I said, four weeks. It's going to be a group program, but you can participate as little or as much as you want, it's going to be like four weekly zoom sessions where I'm going to teach for a bit, but then we can also do some coaching. But this is the first round that I'm going to be doing this. So I am only going to take a limited number of people through this, but it's also going to be at a very discounted rate, because I want to make sure that this program gets developed in a way that really, really can help people. And just, I just get so excited thinking about helping people to, like, sort of surge in, you know, getting to know themselves and trust themselves, and empowering you to do this for real in the way that makes sense for you and your life. So I haven't created the link yet, so I'll have to put it in later today, but that is going to be
coming down the road, probably in a few weeks. So if you want to get on the list for that, I will get create that link and put it in the show notes so that you can get a chance to participate in this first round of this I'm so excited, and I really hope that we can develop something that is gonna be just, just so helpful. So that's what I have for you today. I hope you enjoy the rest of your week, and I'll talk to you next week.