#8 Leveling Up Your Beauty

We all could level up an area of our lives...cleaning, organization, even beauty. Take a listen and you'll hear practical tips on how to level up your beauty game AND gain insight into what God considers beauty. 

Transcript

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Hey there, welcome to the Mental Refuge podcast. Here we talk all things mental health and Christianity. I am your host, Angela McDonald. I run my website, The Mental Refuge, where I talk about my own personal struggles, mental illness, while also being a Christian and a mom of two. And I help others by giving tips and tricks on what has helped me. To be clear, this is my story. I personally live with bipolar disorder and live with anxiety, so I know what it's like to go through the trenches of life and to feel alone. My goal is to bring you weekly tips and education on how to thrive with your mental health while giving you real examples from my own life and also provide you with a much needed dose of Jesus. I hope you stick around and stay a while. Welcome. Welcome to episode number eight of the mental refuge podcast. Today, I want to talk to you about leveling up when it comes to beauty. Leveling up is a concept where you take a part of your life and you just try to tweak it to take it to the next level. It means taking a current situation in your life and having a change in thought or a shift in your mindset and following it up with an action. It's a concept that I heard about back when it was called mid nineties home girl podcast, but it's now called the Maria bones podcast. You can level up in many areas of your life, whether it is cleaning, cooking organization, anything, and stay where you are going to be talking about how to level up when it comes to our beauty. First things first, I highly recommend you take a look at the rescued and restored workbook. This is a 65 page downloadable mental health workbook that is filled with worksheets prompts and scripture to read and times depression and anxiety. It is jam packed with stuff. And I don't want you to miss out on it. It's simply head on over to the mental refuge.com and you can find the rescued and restored workbook under the shop tab and be sure to enter in the code podcast at checkout to get 15% off. So just like with every episode, I want to talk about what is making me happy right now. So I am happy and honestly proud that I have been waking up early in order to make sure I have time to read my Bible. Now, this is not to toot my own horn. But I want it to be an encouragement to you and side note, it has been right at a week, so nothing long-term yet. But I'll just say I am a perpetual snoozer. I can set my alarm for six 15, and I will stay in bed until 6 30, 6 45. And then I'm absolute brushing to get my kids and myself ready for the day. But for whatever reason, I've been waking up between 5 45 and six. O'clock like actually waking up reading my Bible while fixing a morning cup of coffee. I have loved it. I think I'll actually have a full episode on this one day. But for now, I just wanted to share that getting up and reading my Bible is really making me happy so I really want to make that an encouragement for you. Now let's go ahead and dive in on how we can level up on our beauty. In this episode, I'm going to let you know how I leveled up in two areas of my life. Both of these areas of my life. Where I personally leveled up, have to do with looks with beauty, but stick with me because at the end of this, I'm going to give you some biblical truths and what God has to say about our beauty. This is going to be so good. So the first thing that I leveled up with. First things first I'll admit there have been times where I have dropped off my kids to school with no bra on and just throw it on a jacket or a sweatshirt. And I've worn old pajama pants more times than I can count. I know don't judge me. And I'll most mornings I would actually pray god, please don't let me get into a car accident. So no one will see me in these clothes because I was just so embarrassed of what I was wearing. You see, even though I was embarrassed of what I was wearing, I purposefully didn't change out of my pajamas because quite frankly, I was just lazy. I was too lazy and I genuinely thought that no one would notice my no bra and pajama pants look because after all. I never had to get out of my car. I drop off my kids at school and a teacher gets them out, but you know what the teachers do notice. Oh, they noticed they take a peak. I know that they do. They see you in those pajama pants and a bra on. So as much as I didn't want to, I started taking those extra two minutes in the morning and I started putting on real clothes. I leveled up. Like I said at the beginning of this episode, leveling up is where you take a part of your life and you just try to tweak it to take it to the next level. Now I didn't wear anything fancy. It's not like I'm wearing dress pants or a blouse. Sometimes I'm just wearing jeans. But other times it looks like wearing black yoga pants, just something more than pajamas. And I always went a hundred percent of the time where I brought now and taste. And if you've never seen me, if you don't follow me on Instagram, just know I used to be a very plus sized girl. And I got a lot to love on top. If you know what I'm saying. So me not wearing a bra at school drop-off was very noticeable. So I want it to level up. So I started wearing a bra and I started wearing a t-shirt without holes in it. And in the winter, I started wearing a little bit nicer of a jacket instead of my 10-year old fleece hoodie that has seen better days. And you know what. I felt better. And not only did I start feeling better about myself, but I started feeling prouder not only for myself before my kids. Because even though I did it to myself, I purposefully didn't wear a bra or I wore pajama pants to school drop off because I was lazy, deep down. I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed of how I looked. That's why I prayed that prayer every morning to God, to please not let me get into a car accident. So no one would see me. And not only was I embarrassed for myself, but I also felt embarrassed for my kids. I didn't want them to be embarrassed by my appearance or for their friends to notice what I was wearing or not wearing. So I leveled up, I did it for me and I did it for them. Now you may be thinking Angela, I would never go out in public without a bra on or wearing my pajama pants, even when I'm just dropping off my kids at school and no one will see me. And that is so great for you, but that was my reality. Back then when this happened, I was deep, deep, deeply depressed. So you can see why it was just very easy for me to. Snooze. Roll out of bed, not change my clothes and just take my kids to school. I barely made it through the days back then. This is the beginning stages of me staying at home. I just really put very little effort into my look because I was so depressed. Maybe your everyday life looks like a casual dress and sandals, but you want to level up and start wearing heels. Maybe your everyday life looks like wearing jeans and a loose top, but you want to look more put together. So you put on jeans and a more form fitting blouse. It's more flattering. Whatever it is that makes you feel confident, whatever it is that takes you to the next level, do it. You will be amazed at how confident you will feel. I'll tell you at my church, you will see all types of outfits. Some people are wearing jeans. T-shirts tennis shoes. Some women are wearing fancy dresses with heels. And others are wearing jeans or dress pants with a nice blouse. There are all sorts of styles. For a long time, I was always wanting to wear jeans and a blouse. No, there's absolutely nothing wrong. With what I was wearing to church, but I want it to level up. I want it to look nicer. I didn't want to look nicer to get compliments from others or to get praise. I simply did it for myself so that I would feel better about myself and you know what it has worked. I feel better about myself. It is amazing. What happens when you start taking care of yourself, you start feeling a lot more confident. And one more clothing example that I have for you before I move on to my next thing. I live in the south where it gets hot in the summer, hot, hot, hot, it stays between 95 and a hundred degrees, if not more. And there was always 100% humidity in the air don't even bother wearing jeans because they're just going to stick to your thighs. Don't even bother straightening your hair because it's just going to end up in a big frizz ball within an hour of going outside. So this was back in the summer of 2021. So about three years ago now. Back when I was a stay at home, mom, full-time. I start wearing comfortable clothing. I wore gym shorts and old tank tops, or t-shirts almost every single day because one, the heat. And two, it was comfortable, but you know what? Every single time I went to the playground with my kids or went to the grocery store or went to target or Starbucks or any other activity. I felt so frumpy. I didn't feel like myself anymore. If you don't know, I used to work full time and what you would call corporate America for 10 years. I was a working mom for seven of those years. So for you working moms out there listening to this, I know what that life was like. I lived it. I've been there. I wore a full face of makeup. I did my hair and I wore work clothes Monday through Friday for 10 straight years all while I was juggling being a mom for seven of those years. All while also being diagnosed with postpartum depression, PTSD, severe anxiety and bipolar disorder, major, major, major, major mental illnesses going on. During that time. So when I became a stay at home mom, it was like freedom. I can wear what I want now. So, of course I wore the mom uniform of gym shorts and t-shirts everywhere I went. That's what I wore. And like I said, I began to feel frumpy and not like myself anymore. So do you know what I did that summer? I leveled up, I went to old Navy's website one day and I looked at their dresses and I bought two cotton dresses, just simple, two dresses. They were short-sleeved. They hit just above the knee so that when I bent over playing with the kids, I didn't show anything that shouldn't be shown because we all know what that's like. And there were cinched at the waist. So it was really figure flattering. How about one in blue and one in a sunshine yellow. And it made me feel so happy. And I also bought a pair of Jean shorts to wear not gym shorts. So even if I was wearing a t-shirt around town, I was wearing real shorts with them, not just gym shorts, you know? And I started wearing those clothes. I started wearing them when I ran errands around town. And even when I went to the playground with my kids and you know what happened. My confidence group. I started feeling better about myself. I started feeling beautiful again and happy. And let me just add at that time I bought those two dresses and one pair of shorts. I didn't go out on this huge shopping spree. There was no money for that back then. And I wore those dresses to death. I don't have them anymore. That was three years ago. And then from old Navy. So we all know that's not going to last forever, but I wore those dresses out until they had holes and stains in them. The next thing I started do to level up, we see, start back with a makeup routine. Now I like makeup a lot. I always have, I have loved mascara clear lip gloss. I started wearing in the sixth grade. I just love makeup. But I do hate the time that it takes. Back when I worked full-time outside of the home, I would put on a full face of makeup every single day without fail. It was second nature to me. And when we started working from home because of the pandemic for the first few weeks, I haven't put on a full face of makeup just out of habit. And then I thought, what in the world am I doing? This is such a waste of product, time, money. We all know how expensive makeup is. So then I just went down to the bare minimum and put on eyeliner and mascara that I would at least be presentable during our online team meetings. You know what I'm saying? But then once I became a full-time stay-at-home mom. A few years ago, all of that flew out the window. And you moms at home may fully understand what I'm talking about. I completely lost that part of myself. For months while I was going around. Wearing no bra and wearing a pajama pants, picking my kids up to school. And for even when I was running errands, wearing t-shirts with holes in them and gym shorts, I never wore makeup ever. I would go to Walmart with nothing on my face. Now, if you don't wear makeup, then this just won't apply to you. But for me, makeup used to be part of my everyday life, just like it was, or is for a lot of you listening. And you know what starting to happen. I started to feel really down about myself. For lack of better words. I started to feel ugly. For as long as I can remember, I have been wearing eye makeup, eyeliner and mascara. That's just my thing. Maybe microblading your eyebrows or having your eyelashes done is your thing. Eyeliner and mascara is mine so much. So that one time I went to work years and years and years ago, and I had just run out of eyeliner. So it wasn't wearing any. And my boss asked me if I was feeling okay. And I was like, yeah, why? She said, well, you just look sick. She literally thought that I was sick because my eyes looked so different because I wasn't wearing eye makeup. And she wasn't the only person who ever said that. On three separate occasions, I've gone to the doctor for a physical, not a sick visit. And I've haven't worn any makeup and the doctor has questioned if I'm sick or not. Like what. So. Those comments. Over the years have gotten to me, it makes me feel like I need to wear makeup specifically, eyeliner and mascara to make my eyes pop out, or for me to look awake or. Otherwise, apparently I look sickly. So when I became a full-time stay-at-home mom. I started not wearing any makeup, because like I said, it was, have been a waste of time, product and money. But I started believing those lies about myself. I started believing those lies that I looked sickly without makeup. And then I looked ugly. So in my own way, I leveled up. I started little by little and I started wearing makeup again. And let me be clear. I did not start wearing makeup again because of others, views of myself. I started wearing makeup again, because just like the clothing example, I am wanting to level up and make myself feel better. I did this solely for myself. Because I knew it would have given me a boost of confidence. So, what does this look like? Nowadays? I have three different variations of how I do my makeup. Some days I still don't wear any. These are the days where I'm truly not going anywhere. And I don't want to waste my product where I don't want to mess up with washing it all off at the end of the day. The second way is aware a little bit. What's important to me, such as eyeliner mascara, or a little bit of tinted moisturizer and maybe even a little bit of lip gloss those the days when I'm running errands around town and I want to look presentable. And the third option is a full face of makeup. These are the days where I'm going somewhere. And I'm actively interacting with people like maybe I'm going on a field trip with my kids, go into a doctor's appointment, going to church, going out to eat. Since I've leveled up and started wearing makeup again, even just a little bit, you wouldn't believe what is done for my confidence. It's been amazing what this small change has done for me. It truly is amazing. Now all of this to say. I want to tell you something very important. That may sound counterintuitive to what I've been talking about this whole time. God does not call us to outer beauty being the most important thing. Proverbs 31 30 says charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be priced. First Peter chapter three, verses three and four says your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty. At a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Now it's important to know that Peter is not forbidding women to wear gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, he thinks that women should not find their identity in these things. Listen, even women in biblical times felt pressure with beauty. If they didn't, I don't think beauty would be mentioned as much as it is in the Bible. Many women have felt the burden to live up to the beauty standards. Of their culture and if you're married and by the way, Peter was specifically talking to wives in these verses. We shouldn't feel like we need to compete for a husband's attention and affection through our beauty. Instead, we should focus more on our inner beauty. That's the type of beauty that will not ever fade away. The Bible characterizes inner beauty is having a gentle and quiet spirit. And that is of great value to God. Now does that mean that we completely dismiss our outer beauty? No, God does not want us to be depressed because we have lacked in basic self care. You've got to think about it like this. Think about money. Money is a tool. The Bible also tells us that the love of money is the root of all evil, not money itself, but the love of money. Money is just a tool used to build wealth. Or to give to care for orphans or widows or to give to your church. And it's used to pay our bills and buy our kids' school supplies. It is a tool. It's the same thing with our physical appearance. God wants us to take care of ourselves. He wants us to work out, to wear nice clothes to wear makeup. If it makes us feel better about ourselves, but he doesn't want it to take over our lives. He doesn't want us to love it. And for it to consume us. And one thing that I do with my seven-year-old daughter. Is every single time we go to a store and we pick out a detangling spray for her hair or a lip gloss. Or, um, whatever, or even just a plain chapstick, whatever it may be. I always tell her Emma. These items do not make you beautiful. If it's something like a detangling spray, I say, Hey, this is for your hair. It is a practical item. This is for your hair. So that your hair won't be all matted up. Like it is right now. If she sees me going to Ulta. And she loves going into Ulta with me. She loves it and she's only seven and a half years old. If she sees me by makeup, every single item that I pick up and put in my basket. I tell her Emma, this does not make mommy beautiful. It does not. I like wearing this makeup because I just like the pretty colors. That's what I tell her. And that is the absolute truth. Because I never want her to become consumed. With makeup, with clothing, with the idea of beauty, I want her beauty to come with from within. I want her to take care of herself. I want her to get those tangles out of her hair. I want her to smell good and wear deodorant. And yes, she needs a. Seven years old right now with her hormones changing. But I also need her to know. That it should not consume her. And I don't want it to consume your life. The only thing that should consume us is God himself. Does that make any sense? So, yes, I want you to level up in your life. I want you to stop wearing your pajama pants to school. Drop off. I want you to start putting on a little bit of makeup. If you're out running errands, if it will make you feel better and we'll give you a boost in your confidence. And I definitely want you to put on a bra. But I don't want it to consume your life because once it does, once it starts to consume you, you will start to lose sight of what God has in store for you. And trust me, he has a way more in store for you than just looking good. Father God, I thank you for the ladies listening to this podcast. I thank you that they want to take better care of themselves. Maybe we always be reminded that our true beauty comes from our inner self and comes from you. Not from what we were or how we look. Maybe we all pass on this wisdom to our mothers, our daughters, our aunts, our nieces, our friends to any woman. We have a relationship with for generations to come. Thank you for giving us the desire to want to level up so we can become more confident and intern become better versions of ourselves. This is in your precious and holy name, we pray. Amen. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you will, please leave a review of this podcast. It really helps spread the word to others and believe it or not, it actually makes it visible to others that they can find it. I hope you have a great rest of your week. Talk to you soon.