Ep #30 - Summer's End: Back to School Emotions

As the summer days come to an end and school bells start ringing, I find myself on an emotional rollercoaster. Join me as I recount the joys of unscheduled summer days spent with my children and the bittersweet transition of seeing them return to school. Whether you’re excited or feeling the post-summer blues, it's all about embracing and accepting our emotions without self-judgment. I share my personal approach to navigating this change, including clearing my schedule for self-care activities like swimming, getting massages, and tackling practical tasks like buying school uniforms, even when motivation is low.

Reflecting on this transition, I delve into the importance of creating a positive relationship with yourself. It’s a perfect moment to be mindful of how we treat ourselves, especially when life is in flux. I talk about the impact of internal dialogue and the power of self-compassion and kindness. Learn strategies to be your own best friend and support system through any phase of life, acknowledging your feelings and focusing on self-care. Whether you’re feeling on top of the world or struggling, this episode offers insights on nurturing yourself with grace and compassion.

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Chapters

• 1:08 Children Returning to School Reflection
• 10:51 Self-Reflection on Back to School

Transcript

Nicky : 1:08

so the summer holidays have come to an end. I'm curious how do you feel about your children going back to school? I'm going to talk about my experience, not because I think this is how you should be experiencing it, but because it gives you permission either way, to feel what you're feeling. For me personally, I hate this time of year. I hate this time of year. I really enjoy having no schedule, particularly I enjoy not having to be up and out in the mornings and whilst I have worked over the summer holidays, I love hearing my boys downstairs. So I'm recording this. On Tuesday um, you'll probably listen to this it'll be launched sometime after Friday, probably and the boys are back to school tomorrow. So this is their last full day at home and I I just love having them home. I love everybody being at home.

Nicky : 2:35

Now, that's not to say you should, if you have had a challenging summer, if you can't wait for your kids to go back to school. There's no right or wrong here. There's no judgment. I think the biggest thing is to acknowledge how you're feeling, and how you're feeling is because of what you're saying about it. So if you're saying you know it's been challenging, it's been terrible, I want to get back to the routine, then of course, you're going to feel good about them going back to school. My thoughts are I love them being around. I don't want to go back to routine, I don't want to get up early, so I'm not going to feel so good about them going back to school. Neither way is right and neither way is wrong. So, whatever your experience, acknowledge it and allow yourself to experience it, and you get to ask yourself is this how I want to experience this particular time? And if it is brilliant, if it isn't, you do actually get to change it by changing your thought process around it. So here's what I tend to do.

Nicky : 3:49

In the past couple of years I've really fought against the sort of down feeling that I have this time of year. Just just for a few days it's only ever really the first, that first week that they're back at school. I just feel like a little sad sack, and I've, in the previous years, I've really fought against it and I've been like, no, let's get back to work, let's get back on it, and and it's and it's just created actually more tension for me. So this year, very deliberately, I have cleared my calendar. So I cleared, I have cleared or being in past tense. I cleared my calendar for Wednesday.

Nicky : 4:34

I'm going to go have a swim, sit in the steam room, sit and have a coffee and just allow my brain to do and think what my brain needs to do and think, and I'm just going to allow myself to sit and feel. However, it is that I'm going to sit and feel without judgment, without criticism, without thinking something's gone wrong. So if I feel sad, nothing's gone wrong. If you're feeling excited, nothing's gone wrong. You're just having a human experience. That human experience will be perceived as positive or negative depending on what you're thinking. And then what I've also done is I've booked myself a body massage with a lady who's close to me, who is just incredible, because I know that tomorrow I can already feel it. Today, I have that kind of precious feeling. I can already feel it today. I have that kind of precious feeling. I can already feel it building. I know that tomorrow I am going to feel precious and I'm going to go and receive that support in that way. And I think we can apply this to any stage, phase, season that we're going through. Life gives us these circumstances. Life gives us our children home for the summer Life gives us our children going back to school. How we deal with those situations is our choice. That's the bit that we get to choose our experience, and this is how I choose to experience mine. You get to choose how you experience yours.

Nicky : 6:24

What I do find really funny and I think I'll do a separate podcast on this actually is doing things unmotivated. So I was specifically thinking about buying school uniform. Oh my God, that is a pain in the ass, isn't it? Like you go to the shop, you're trying to rummage through the shirts, and then you find the shirts, but it's a slim fit. Or you find the regular fit, but it's not the right age, and then you find the right, but it's a slim fit. Or you, you find the regular fit, but it's not the right age, and then you find the right trouser, but not the right length, and and and, and then the shoes don't fit. And then these shoes fit, but they're really expensive. And so there's always it's never, it's never my most joyous task.

Nicky : 7:01

So in those situations I don't try and feel positive about it, I just do it unmotivated, and especially if you're in business or you know you're in a leadership level or management and actually it applies to any level. Any job that you have to do, that you don't really want to do, instead of trying to get positive, just do it unmotivated. It's so much more efficient. You're just going to get it done, let's just do it. I don't want to do it, I'm doing it anyway. We don't always have to try and get to positive in order to be efficient at something we could just get it done.

Nicky : 7:39

But going back, going back to this period, I know that historically, for me it's a lull, it's a bit of a downtime. For me, it's a lull, it's a bit of a downtime. So I am just going to be really kind to myself over the next couple of days. I'm just going to let myself feel whatever I want to feel, without judgment. I'm going to give myself some space just to be with me in a way that isn't shitting myself or criticizing myself. I'm just going to spend tomorrow especially getting really fascinated about what my brain is telling me and then, once I've let that move through and I've released that and the only way to do that is by watching it and feeling it and allowing it and acknowledging it then I'm going to start to go right. Okay, this is time to focus back on me. This is time to I've given the summer to my boys. This is time to focus back on me and who I want to be for the remainder of the year.

Nicky : 8:50

And then I've just got some questions that I'm going to ask myself, so that I am being very deliberate about how I want to show up in my life. So I'm going to sit down, I'm going to think about who do I want to be when it comes to my body and my health? Who do I want to be when it comes to my business and my clients? What sort of business woman do I want to be? How do I want to show up for my business? How do I want to show up for my clients? How do I want to show up for my family? And I'm going to, I'm going to sit down, I'm going to answer these questions and I'm then I'm, then I will come to a more of an action place and I will start to go right.

Nicky : 9:34

Okay, if I want to, if I'm looking at my health and I want to do more exercise, looking at my calendar and deciding right, when am I going to do that? What does that actually look like? Um, you know if I want to eat healthier. What does that actually look like? What have I got to put in place structurally within my day to enable me to eat healthy? How do I want to show up for my clients the ideas when I think about my ideal client and about helping you and about encouraging you and being the best version that you can be. What inspiration comes along with that and and then putting a plan in place to follow that inspiration. So once I've had my time to acknowledge and reflect and be with my emotions, then I will start to look forward to who I want to be for the remainder of this year, and I'd love to invite you to do the same. What sort of friend you you want to be? What social things do you want to do? Do you need to maybe find another circle of friends that likes the thing that no one likes in the moment of your life? I'm kind of thinking about dancing.

Nicky : 10:51

You know you get to decide, you get to come back to you, and what you want Now underpinning all of that is your relationship with you. How you allow yourself to experience this in any situation actually is dependent on your relationship with you, and I've been working a lot on my relationship with myself, so this is the perfect opportunity. Whether you're experiencing positive emotions or negative emotions about your children going back to school, this is the perfect opportunity. Whether you're experiencing positive emotions or negative emotions about your children going back to school, this is the most beautiful opportunity to also notice your relationship with you and how you deal with you, because as our children get older and as they start getting more independent lives that's what underpins all of this is who we are to ourselves, how we talk to ourselves, how kind you are to you, how compassionate you are to you, giving yourself the grace that you would a friend if she was going through a sad moment.

Nicky : 11:57

You can do that for yourself as well, and it's a practice that you have to decide to start. It's not going to happen naturally, but you get to choose to start that practice, and if your relationship with yourself isn't that great, then please come and talk to me, because you can't ever get away from you. Wherever you go. There you are, but you get to be the friend to yourself that you would be to your friends, and that is a beautiful gift. So, however you're experiencing back to school, so, however you're experiencing back to school. Give yourself permission to feel it, acknowledge it, feel it and then just get reflective Right now. What what's next? Focus back on me, have the most beautiful week and I'll speak to you all again next week. Bye.