Hey, hey, I'm back. I am going to be talking to you today about how to get through a flare in your health. And I first want to say that this really can be a flare in anything or just a difficult time. This could be if you deal with chronic illness symptoms, a flare if you've been doing a bit better, or this could be, you know, just going through a really hard period of anxiety or a breakup or a life transition, basically like a few tips to just get you through the really hard because there's a lot of commonality that happens.
when we're going through something difficult and we don't know what to do and we feel hopeless and in pain and despair and sometimes we just get kind of dragged down this hole and we need some hope. So I hope that this helps you and I know that I mean, I hope you know by now that this is more so coming from a place of yes, trainings and research that I've been through.
but it also really comes from a place of love and personal experience. And, you know, the experiences that I've listened to witness from, I don't even know how many clients I've seen over the past, eight years. I think I've been a therapist for eight years. Something along those lines. probably more than that, to be honest, with school.
So anyway, I'm just gonna go ahead and get right into it. So first and foremost, when you're going through a time that you, where you don't know what to do, you feel out of control and your body's Quote unquote feeling like it's failing you or your mind is feeling like it's failing you life the universe You know
more often than not we end up Catastrophizing Catastrophizing the situation how we're feeling what's going on and what I mean by that what? Catastrophizing really is is it's a cognitive distortion that involves assuming the worst possible outcome Even when there's little information or reason to do so, people who catastrophize may have difficulty weighing the likelihood of different outcomes and you may end up interpreting minor problems as major issues.
We often do this. Our brains and our bodies and our nervous systems actually do this because it's a way for at least it thinks it's a way for it to protect us. So if we can think of and assume the worst case scenario, then we could be We think that we can be prepared for it so that then we won't get hurt because we're already going to know the outcome or we already, we're already going to know what's going to happen and we're going to prepare for it, but our mind ends up doing that and that's not actually helpful.
It ends up hurting us instead. So I say that with a lot of compassion, cause I'm not saying, Oh, you're doing this to yourself, stop doing it. No, it's more, I want you to be more aware of it, of what's happening and also where it's coming from. It's coming from a very loving and protective place from your nervous system and from your brain.
It's, it's a helpful reason back in our primal days, like, right, let's look for all the scenarios where we could be eaten and try to eliminate those, those opportunities. And instead today, it might look like. Oh, no, I'm starting to feel a migraine. Come on or some pain. Come on. It's going to ruin my day.
It's going to ruin my week. What's happening? Why is this happening now? I thought I was over this. I thought this wasn't coming back. You know, X, Y and Z. Or maybe one thing after another keeps happening in your life, or you go through a breakup and you feel like you're never, ever going to find a partner again.
are the reason these are things that happen in our brains to help protect us. It just wants to tell us that we don't have to feel this anymore. So let's think of all the worst things that that's going to happen. You may end up feeling like you're in the middle of a crisis during an upsetting, but not necessarily catastrophic situation.
You may analyze things way too much. I definitely do. my, one of my family members just reminded me of that the other day, as we were talking, she was like, well, you know, Grace, you, you've always been the overthinker and we know that you think a lot about things. And I was like, yes, I do. I'm an analyzer.
So, I'm working on it. But basically I say that just to, you know, help you understand that it's just something that we do. Like some of us are a little bit more wired to do that. sometimes it can be a positive thing, right? Like maybe you're good at analyzing a certain situation or reading the room or understanding different dynamics that are going on.
That can be helpful. And if we do it too much, if we get stuck in that loop, it can be a little bit more harmful because when we do that, when our brains start to overthink and catastrophize, it stresses out our body and our nervous system and we go more into the fight or flight. Okay. So what do we do with this?
How do we stop catastrophizing? First and foremost, becoming more aware of the fact that it's happening and that you do it is super, super important because then that means you can catch yourself more when you're doing it. But it doesn't always mean you're going to, and that's okay. And that's human and that's normal.
So we don't want to go into the rigid perfectionism of, Oh crap, I'm not catching myself or I'm doing it again. Right? No, no, no. We don't want to judge. We don't want to shame. I want you to be able to recognize and say, okay. I see this loop happening or even after the fact. Oh, yeah, I totally I see that loop of making this bigger than it is or just being really fearful about it and valid validate yourself because there's a reason you're doing it.
It's okay. It's okay that you're doing it. I just want to recognize and think, you know what? All right. Yes. I might be having this flare right now. Yes. I might be having high anxiety and I know that it's not going to last forever. That's not possible. It's not going to. And I know that I can help myself, whether it's learning a new skill, tuning into the skills that I already know what to do, seeking out a new therapist or the therapist that you already have, or a coach seeking support in different ways.
Being able to help yourself by. Going for a walk or listening to a meditation and when I say that I know that it's not just going to fix everything right off the bat, but it will help you move through this. So the goal is not to just like snap your fingers and wake up and it's all gone or like you're just going to recognize and stop catastrophizing.
The goal is to help yourself move through it. So awareness, the fact that it's happening is really important and bring yourself into a place and help bring yourself into a place of safety, which is actually my number two tip is when you're going through some kind of flare or when you're going through some kind of difficult time, slowing down in your life and finding safety in your mind and in your body is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself because
think about it this way. If you have some type of stressed out nervous system, which happens when you're in a flare. So what we're really talking about is how to get out of a stressed nervous system. We're not slowing down enough to pay attention to our nervous system's cues and to what our mind and body actually needs.
So if there's high anxiety in the mind, we've got to slow down and bring that energy down. If there's pain or fatigue in the body, It might sound, especially if you have chronic fatigue, it might sound a little counterintuitive to go slow, but that's actually exactly what your body needs more of. And when I say this, when I say slowing down, I know it can be, it sounds so simple, but it's not right.
It's not always that simple. I mean, truly releasing everything from your schedule that you can, even the things you think you can't find a way to do that as much as possible. Slowing down by taking pauses every now and then tuning into your internal state in the morning, checking in with your body. How are you feeling?
How are you doing? What are you thinking? What are you sensing? And then doing something for yourself. And then move on. It doesn't mean you have to quit everything, quit your life, quit your job, quit your any, everything. It just means we've got to slow down. And I know it's cliche, but literally stop and smell the roses.
Stop and smell them, smell the flowers, because the more that we can slow down and pay attention to our present moment and our environment around us, the more that our nervous system pays attention. The more that our nervous system becomes a little bit more quiet and relaxed and soothed. And from that slower pace is when you'll start to rebuild or build the tools.
And the space for you to move through this flare or this hard time. So a big part of this is surrendering to the fact that this is happening. I think I've mentioned before, like I had a pretty big flare this past year and on and off, like I'm going in and out of it, I guess you could say. So I don't know.
That necessarily is one flair, but you know, I've had, I've had my periods of time, I guess I should say.the biggest thing I've learned through this is learning how to surrender to it, allow it, which I mean, honestly, I've done this before. Like I definitely grasp it, but it's like, I'm opening new levels of it, opening new levels of allowing what is present in my body to be there.
So I've done this for sure with pain to where I truly don't experience the kind of pain I did when it was bad. I haven't since then here and there. Sure. Every, you know, little things pop up, but not to where it used to be. The fatigue has been kind of a new thing that that has come back. I mean, and learning how to allow the presentness of it and not be so afraid of it.
It's actually really helping me because I think when it comes on, we can get so afraid, right? We're like, Oh my gosh, what's happening? Like, how long is this going to take? How am I crashing totally again? Am I ever going to be able to get out of bed or am I ever going to be able to do, you know, whatever I want to do again.
And so, and we end up catastrophizing and then. In my personal case, I don't know if this is you or not, but sometimes I end up pushing through it because I'm like, well, I don't want to teach my body that this is needed. So I'm just going to push it and that's not always really the best case scenario, actually.
Usually our bodies are talking to us and saying like, hold on. I'm overwhelmed. This is too much. Whatever's going on, whether it's good or bad. So I need you to slow down. So I'm actually just going to force you to. And so when we can listen and allow, and when I, when I mean allow, I mean, so if you were to, if you can, if you can, if you're not driving or something, if you can close your eyes for a minute
and you can take a few breaths.
And when I say allow, I mean, to pay attention to your, to your internal state right now, to the sensations, to the breath, if there's any type of difficult sensations or pain or fatigue.
What I mean by allowing is breathing into it, almost inviting it, which I know sounds counterintuitive, but when we can invite it to be here to fill up our body, actually lean into the fatigue, lean into the pain, lean into the anxiety. Without judgment, without shame, without criticism, it's a very different experience.
Usually what happens is that we feel fatigue, we feel pain, we feel something come on. And the automatic things that happens is our brains either judge, criticize, or blame ourselves, or try to figure out what's going on. And we get really frustrated and end up judging something or ourselves.
So if we take away those, what we're actually doing is allowing for whatever our message, our nervous system needs to send us, we're allowing it to be there. And when you can breathe into it, you're saying, Oh, okay. I see you. I'm here. Maybe you put a hand over your heart and you just, you allow that sensation, however it feels to be there.
So what you're doing is you're opening it. You're saying, you know what, I feel you, I see you. I'm not going to try and push you away. I'm not pushing you and hearing you.
And I don't know about you, but when I do this, even actually right now, there's almost a bit of a settling. It's almost like a lifting of energy off my body.
Doesn't mean I'm all of a sudden going to have all this energy or the pain's automatically gone away. But sometimes, yeah. Sometimes. It can feel like we've come home to ourselves for a minute. And that's what I mean by allowing and surrendering to is going slow and breathing into what is there without the shame and without the judgment.
As you do this, you're. allowing for safety in the present moment and your body and your mind. And we talk about safety all the time, what it means to find safety in your body, what it means to find safety for yourself. And if you haven't listened to it, I'd highly recommend going back and listening to the episode with Vanessa Blackstone.
She's talks all about how to find safety in your body and in your nervous system and give some wonderful examples, but that's part of this. It's how do we find safety in our bodies? And that might sound a little odd because you might think like, Oh, I'm safe, right? But your nervous system doesn't think so.
That's why it's stuck in the stress response. That's why you have symptoms. So maybe safety means breathing into your heart space for a minute. Maybe safety says, means saying, okay, it's okay, actually not to be okay right now. Or maybe safety means to allow yourself to rest more, allow yourself to take naps.
Allow yourself not to make that perfect dinner or the clean food that you thought you needed to eat and just eat what's easy and comfortable and tastes good right now. Maybe safety means to give yourself some more love and compassion. Maybe it means to sit under a really warm and cozy loving blanket with your favorite drink or to look out at some nature or to walk in the grass.
Or to talk to someone that you feel really supported by safety can mean so many things and it really helps you go slow and Surrender to and allow for what's here. So maybe next time that you find yourself rushing around Either trying to get out the door, get started with work, get the kids into a bed or a bath or to an activity, whatever they need to do.
Anytime you feel like you're rushing around, this is actually a really great time, even though it sounds like it would be the hardest time to slow down because obviously you're having to rush for a reason. I want you to pause and take five to 10 deep breaths. I promise you won't be more late than you already are.
Just take the breath, feel your feet into the ground, place your hands on your heart or somewhere on your body and tell yourself, I'm here. I'm breathing. I'm here. And I'll tune back into you when I have more time. Just keep practicing at and see how it goes.
Okay, so my third tip is to find hope. Make sure that you, anything that you're watching, um, whether that's TV, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, podcasts, anything you're watching or listening to, any kind of content you're taking in, news, anything.
Make sure that it is not stressing you. So, I know that this, you know, might be an unpopular opinion, but for example, I do not watch the news. I don't listen to it. I have absolutely, I don't know what's going on. In any kind of politics. And I know that some people have very strong opinions about that, but I have learned that it is not helpful for my nervous system.
It's not helpful for me. It's more harmful. It's more stressful. And obviously if there's something big going on, I will find out and I will know I have people around me. but I think it is very, very important to do things like that. I also don't watch shows that stress me out. There are some that. I actually like, but I'll watch a couple episodes and then I'll notice like, oh, this is just a lot of drama.
This is a little bit too much. I don't want that in my, I don't want my, my brain, my body, my nervous system taking that in. So then I'll stop and I'll put something else on that's just like chill or funny or soothing. the same with my content. I only listen to things that are either uplifting or helpful or knowledgeable or just funny, right?
Like, it doesn't have to all be educational, it can totally be entertaining, but something that doesn't have a lot of gossip around it. That doesn't have a lot of drama going on with it and things that are healthy in communication and that don't leave you feeling, you know, so that's, that's part of this finding hope.
I kind of went on a tangent there, but my point being. Really pay attention to what you're putting in front of you, what you're putting in your mind and your body. you want to make sure you're ingesting and taking in higher frequency content and lower frequency content are things like drama and news and politics and things that have very strong and rigid opinions and drastic consequences and things that you don't want for your life.
Don't listen or watch them. The second part of this is when I say find hope, I mean, start listening to the people that have gone through something you've gone through and that have found hope and have found healing. It's so, so important because our brains need to know that it's possible. So the more that you can listen to stories or that you can hear tips like this podcast, for example, it's fabulous that you're listening to it because I want you to hear more.
All the time, how to get through this, how to find hope more examples, because when, again, when your brain can look at these examples and see them, it will move towards that. You'll know how to find it more. You'll know how to move into it. But if our brains have never seen examples of where we want to get to, it's going to be really hard to put ourselves in those places and to retrain our brains and our nervous systems.
So talk with people, listen to things, Put in front of you the healthy types of content that you want in your life that you're looking forward to, that you want to bring in to your environment. And lastly, I really just want to say that no matter how far you've come, maybe you're in the beginning of your journey and maybe you've been at this for years.
It doesn't matter because. It's a process and even if you feel like you've gotten over something that now might have come back, it's not going to be there forever. And you're learning something through this. And I know it's hard to hear that in the middle of it. It's really hard to hear that. Like, oh, yeah, you'll come out of this and you'll learn something from it.
I get it. And I'm saying it because it's true. It's true, I promise. you will move through it in some sort of way and you'll learn something from it if you do some of this work. If you're more introspective, if you learn how to get yourself out of the negative, hopeless, catastrophic mindset and more into the curious, open, learning mindset.
And finding that slow and safety in your body. So keep doing it, keep it up. And again, if you have any kind of questions, please let me know. Submit a question on my podcast website. I'll answer it. And if you have another question, DM me on Instagram. You know where to find me and I'll catch you next time.
