Episode 5 - Introduction To Triggers - emotional triggers, mental health triggers or psychological triggers
In today's episode I will be discussing an introduction to emotional, mental health or psychological triggers. It is important to understand that not all strong emotional reactions are a trigger response - if you are grieving the death of a loved one it is appropriate to have intense emotional and physical feelings. Those feelings are safe and should not be reduced or changed.
What I will be addressing today is when your trigger response is very significant when the event the trigger is in response to is actually not significant. I will be looking at why the response may not be appropriate for the situation at hand.
Trauma can lead to triggers because a traumatic event leaves the victim feeling completely powerless, sometimes even leading to dissociation in order to preserve yourself because of the immense emotional pain the experience may cause. This is why you may experience a tigger response that seems as if it has come out of nowhere. It in fact, comes out of a very important place - it means you are now able to look at and address the pain.
So what exactly is an emotional, mental health or psychological trigger?
A trigger of this kind is what occurs when either a person, object or memory results in very intense negative emotions. Triggers are rooted in past traumatic experiences. These emotions may be overwhelming, panic, anger, withdrawal, tears, or extreme defensiveness. The physical symptoms of a trigger can include a fast-paced beating heart that comes on quickly and leaves quickly, shallow breathing, sweats, panicked or anxious or unsafe feelings and a response that is personal to you (such as a hurting stomach or nausea). It is important to know that you can experience triggers outside of the time when the actual trigger presents itself which can be extremely puzzling. Triggers are uncomfortable and can become debilitating if not dealt with in a healthy way. As I explained in episode three our brain is hardwired to protect us, we have evolved so very much but we still continuously scan for threats. This can make our reaction to something that looks like, feels like or smells like a previous threat result in a full blown trigger. While the existence of the trigger reaction is at its historic base a helpful response, it needs some refining to make it appropriate for what is happening in the present.
If you think you may be experiencing trigger responses please only discuss these within the realm of a trusted relationship, you don’t want this information getting into unsafe hands because you need help to heal from this, what you do not need is for triggers to be used against you.
Here are situations that can occur to someone and result in in tense trigger responses:
- Loss of control and loss of independence, helplessness
- disapproval or criticism
- feeling unwanted or unneeded
- feeling smothered or too needed
- insecurity
- Betrayal
- Being ignored and disapproved
- Challenged beliefs
- Rejection
- Unfair and unjust treatment
Why do people experience triggers and how does they create a negative cycle?
Triggers are a result of cause an effect and can come from a traumatic situation that has happened to you. The one thing that all triggers have in common is that they form in response to an unexpected event. If a trigger continues and is not understood it can result in unhelpful responses rearing their ugly heads at extreme intensity and frequency, which occur at unhelpful times and in ways that can leave you feeling depleted and helpless.
It is important to remember what i have said in episodes three and four, these are thoughts and feelings - remembering this will take the power away from them. Thoughts and feelings can feel intense and snap you back to prior events, but they cannot hurt you, they cannot touch you - they are thoughts and feelings that your body is hardwired to produce.
My story and how triggers have impacted me as an adult:
When I was a young adult I would experience rapid panic onset, a racing heart, sweaty palms. These increased in severity to panic attacks that seemed to come out of nowhere and in relation to nothing. I was so frustrated with the unpredictability of my emotions and I truly did not understand what was going on. This became impossible to navigate on my own. I needed to understand what was happening to me and why - I remember people telling me you are here right now and you are safe - nothing is actually happening to you, however, I felt completely terrified and like I was going to die. I am not going to minimize the feelings I experienced because it is important for you to know if you feel responses at this level - you are not alone.
At first I truly thought these responses that I would often feel in my body before I felt them in my mind were random. After working with a therapist I began to see it was the opposite, they made complete logical sense. That was extremely important to me because it meant that it was something I could learn about and work on.
I had minimized the abuse I had endured for years and years out of survival, but once I started to look at what had actually happened to me it began to make sense that certain people, phrases, sounds and so on would terrify me. I would either have a strong panic reaction or I would completely shut down, become quiet and introverted which is the complete opposite of my normal disposition.
One extremely helpful piece of advice I was given is that nothing that comes up in your memory or your body is something that you cannot handle, it can feel this way, but your body and mind are truly incredible - the past will not present itself until you are ready to process it.
Another very helpful piece of advice I have received is that healing from trauma can come in waves and cycles, you can think you have dealt with something and then more can come up and at different times in your life when significant events happen such as entering into a serious relationship, or having a child. This is really important so that you do not feel completely caught off-guard.
I remember feeling so irritated and annoyed with my triggers because I thought I had already dealt with them. I was tired of them rearing their ugly heads, but I soon learned that there was no use fighting them, I had to look at them and manage them in order to move forward from them.
What have I done to break the cycle of triggers impacting my life?
Step 1:
Give the trigger some acknowledgement - you can name it, assign it a colour or a picture - whatever works for you. Accepting that a trigger exists will make it something tangible that you can work with. It also begins one of my most favorite processes mentioned in episode 2 - it begins the process of getting the trigger out of your head and also begins to remove its power.
Step 2:
Pay attention to and make a note of how you respond. This is where I really recommend you make a tangible list. How do you feel the trigger, where do you feel it, are you shutting down and your mind going blank, are you feeling stomach aches? You will begin to see that your response is mostly the same each time - this will allow you to start to recognize what is going on and to know that this feeling was appropriate, in the past. Let the feelings come and go, without any judgment. YOu do not need to do anything with the responses during this step.
Step 3:
Get grounded, this means do whatever helps you come back to the present. There are many ways of doing this and you need to do what works best for you and comes to you most easily and naturally. This will take practice and trial and error but once you figure out what works, it is an incredibly powerful tool. Try meditating, going for a walk, touching services, counting 5 things you can see, 5 things you can hear, 5 things you can taste, and 5 things you can touch. Try progressive muscle relaxation or parasympathetic breathing.
My experience - how implementing the steps outlined above led to a positive outcome:
If you are finding none of my grounding suggestions are working, you may need to invest in professional help to help cultivate your emotional regulation skills. I was so far gone down the trigger response hole that that is what I needed, once I did that though, I had a toolkit and I never went down that trigger response road ever again.
After working hard on myself, I started to recognize when I would respond to a perceived threat (not an actual threat) and shut down, feel my heart racing and so on. I started to say outloud to those I trusted clearly and assertively- I am feeling an anxious trigger response and I need help remembering I am in the present. I think that most people want to help others, giving them clear concise instructions will help them help you. Maybe you need someone to call you and talk to you, maybe you need a physical hug, maybe you need to see pictures or read hilarious jokes. It is important to explain to those close to you that you trust that you are having these experiences and to do this when you are calm because you will be able to logically explain what is going on and the steps that need to happen to help you calm down.
After time, I started to feel the triggers coming on, they didn’t come on so suddenly and out of nowhere anymore. I would look at them and say something along the lines of- I feel you and I see you. I stopped battling them head on, I gave myself a break and some much needed compassion. I learned how to set up boundaries to avoid what was triggering me, I’ve learned to say no to situations that were causing me pain and discomfort. I want you to know that you do not need to live your life in the pain triggers can cause, I’ve healed from mine and you can too.