Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Breaking Free from Negative Generational Cycles – A Three-Step Process

Episode 30 | Breaking Free from Negative Generational Cycles – A Three-Step Process 

A few weeks ago I polled my audience asking if hearing more about my personal story or if hearing about how to break free from negative generational cycles would be more helpful, and due to an overwhelming result I will be focusing today’s episode on how to break free.  Thank you to everyone who voted!

Generational cycles—whether it’s unhealthy relationships, self-sabotage, abandonment issues, overworking as a trauma response, or even an inability to ask for help—can have a grip on us without us even realizing it. Many of us were born into patterns that were already set long before we took our first breath. But the good news? Cycles can be broken. You can break them.

Today, I’m going to share a three-step process to help you break free from negative generational cycles so that you can begin the journey toward healing, growth, and change. This process is based on real lived experiences, research, and the work I’ve done in my own life.

Before we dive in, I want to acknowledge that this work is not about blame. It’s about awareness, accountability, and action. It’s about understanding where these patterns come from, recognizing their impact, and making an intentional choice to do something different.

Transcript

Episode 30 | Breaking Free from Negative Generational Cycles – A Three-Step Process 

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Cycle Breaker and Change Maker Podcast! I’m Renata Ortega, and if you’re here today, I know you’re ready to do the deep work—work that isn’t always easy, but is absolutely necessary to stop the cycles that have been weighing you down.  A few weeks ago I polled my audience asking if hearing more about my personal story or if hearing about how to break free from negative generational cycles would be more helpful, and due to an overwhelming result I will be focusing today’s episode on how to break free.  Thank you to everyone who voted!

Generational cycles—whether it’s unhealthy relationships, self-sabotage, abandonment issues, overworking as a trauma response, or even an inability to ask for help—can have a grip on us without us even realizing it. Many of us were born into patterns that were already set long before we took our first breath. But the good news? Cycles can be broken. You can break them.

Today, I’m going to share a three-step process to help you break free from negative generational cycles so that you can begin the journey toward healing, growth, and change. This process is based on real lived experiences, research, and the work I’ve done in my own life.

Before we dive in, I want to acknowledge that this work is not about blame. It’s about awareness, accountability, and action. It’s about understanding where these patterns come from, recognizing their impact, and making an intentional choice to do something different.

So let’s jump in.

Step 1: Acknowledge the Cycle – Awareness is Power

The first step in breaking a generational cycle is awareness. You cannot change what you refuse to acknowledge.

Ask yourself:

• What patterns do I see in my family history?
• Are there repeated behaviors that have harmed relationships, well-being, or self-worth?
• Do I react to things in ways that feel automatic, almost like I have no control?
• Have I been told, “That’s just the way things are” when I questioned these patterns?

For example, maybe you grew up in an environment where love was conditional, where affection was earned, not freely given. You may find yourself seeking validation in relationships, afraid of abandonment, or bending over backward for people who don’t reciprocate. Or maybe you were raised in a family where overworking was glorified, where taking a break meant you were lazy, and now you struggle with rest because you’ve tied your worth to productivity.

Whatever your pattern is, acknowledge it. Name it. This step alone is powerful because once you bring it into your awareness, it loses some of its control over you.

Step 2: Identify Your Triggers & Automatic Responses

Once you’ve acknowledged the cycle, the next step is to observe your triggers and automatic reactions.

Triggers are like hidden landmines from past experiences, and they can be emotional, psychological, or even physical. If you’ve grown up in a household where anger meant danger, you might react to someone raising their voice with panic, even if the situation isn’t truly threatening. If you were taught to be hyper-independent because no one was there to support you, you might reject help even when it’s freely offered.

Start noticing:

• When do I feel overwhelmed, anxious, or defensive?
• What situations make me react in ways that don’t align with who I want to be?
• What physical signs show up when I feel triggered? A racing heart? Tightness in the chest? An urge to shut down or overreact?

Recognizing these moments is key to reclaiming your power. You can’t change a reaction if you don’t see it happening. By bringing mindfulness into your experiences, you create space between the trigger and your response—and that space is where change can happen.

Step 3: Make Intentional Choices – Rewire the Pattern

Now that you’re aware of the cycle and your automatic responses, it’s time to choose something different.

This is where rewiring begins. The brain loves what is familiar, even if it’s unhealthy. But just like any habit, new patterns can be formed with intention and repetition.

Ask yourself:

• What new beliefs do I want to replace the old ones with?
• What boundaries need to be set to break this cycle?
• What small, intentional changes can I make in my daily life to shift my behavior?

Here’s an example:
 If you grew up in an environment where emotions were dismissed, where you were told to “just get over it”, you may struggle with allowing yourself to feel. Your new practice might be giving yourself permission to sit with your emotions, without judgment, without needing to push them away. It might be journaling, therapy, or even just taking a pause to ask, “What am I actually feeling right now?”

If your cycle involves overworking and burnout, your new practice might be setting a hard stop to your workday, even if it feels uncomfortable. It might mean learning to say no without guilt, reminding yourself that your worth isn’t tied to how much you produce.

The key here is small, consistent actions. You don’t have to break the whole cycle overnight. But each time you choose differently, you’re rewiring your brain. You’re teaching yourself a new way of being.

You Are Not Alone

Breaking a generational cycle is not easy work, but it is some of the most important work you will ever do. It means that the pain, the trauma, the dysfunction—it stops with you. It will no longer be passed down. That is a profound and powerful thing.

If today’s episode resonated with you, take a moment to reflect:

• What cycle am I ready to break?
• What is one small step I can take this week?
• Who can I reach out to for support?

Remember, you do not have to do this alone. If you need help, reach out—whether it’s a therapist, a trusted friend, or even a support group. There is strength in community.

If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who needs to hear it. You never know who might be struggling in silence, waiting for permission to break free.

For more resources, visit www.cyclebreakerandchangemaker.com and connect with us on social media.

Until next time, keep breaking cycles, keep making change. You are stronger than the past, and your future is yours to create.