The ScottyDontX Show
Solving for "X" - every day.
I am in the process of building a podcast from scratch, adding to it one step at a time, one day at a time.
Since there was no show preparation, no written script, and no market research, let's categorize this first one as comedy-improv.
Because, with me or at me, someone will find a reason to laugh.
The ScottyDontX Show
Episode #19 - KATU Paul Linnman - you are my Exploding Whale Hero!
What kind of person willingly traps ferrets in their pants? Find out as we explore the bizarre and frankly unsettling world of ferret legging—a hobby that's as controversial as it is peculiar. We question the ethics and sanity behind this practice, sparing no judgment for those who subject our furry friends to such antics without their consent. Expect a mix of humor and critique as we debate who really has to endure more—the humans or the ferrets?
On a lighter note, brace yourself for laughter as we dive into the absurd universe of news bombing, where humor collides with dry news broadcasts. We take a nostalgic trip down memory lane, commemorating the 40th anniversary of the infamous exploding whale incident in Florence, Oregon. Through witty commentary and archival clips, we relive the chaos and comedy of a whale explosion gone wrong. From flying blubber to seagull scavengers, this episode promises to be a hilarious blend of history, humor, and head-scratching hobbies. Don't forget to connect with us on Instagram and Facebook at Scotty Don't X for more outrageous content and updates!
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You can't handle the truth, the humanity of strange hobbies and stranger interests. No judgment here. Well, except for the stuff that needs to be downvoted, I'm judging the heck out of that. This is part two. Okay, I am not happy about this one. Something called ferret legging Enduring having live ferrets trapped in your pants. So I guess they're tightening off the belt and the pant cuffs and having the ferrets run around in there trying to get out, scratching them. I think it's the ferrets who are having to endure being trapped in the humans' pants. Again, there's no consent for this. Did you go ask Malfacent the ferret? Hey, do you mind if I shove you in my pants and then you run around and we say how much I tolerate it? No, you did not. So I hope you get a bitten bloody nose for that one. Okay, something else that actually sounds kind of cool News bombing, Interjecting humorous or absurd comments into news broadcasts.
Speaker 1:So I'm thinking you take a boring or dry newscast and then you put clips into it. Or maybe you take a historical broadcast. I know I want to do this with Paul Lindman and the whale story from the Oregon coast. See if I can pull this off. Step one let's play a little clip about the history of the story to set it up it is. It's a very special day. It is the 40th anniversary of the exploding whale down in Florence, Oregon, when a dread sperm whale washed up on shore and the Oregon Highway Department decided they'd use dynamite to blow it up. Well, that was a great idea. Great idea until it wasn't. Now let's news bomb the original story.
Speaker 2:It had to be said, the Oregon State Highway Division not only had a whale of a problem on its hands, it had a stinking whale of a problem. What to do with one 45-foot, 8-ton whale dead on arrival on the beach?
Speaker 1:near Florence. So Paul Lindman from KATU, I presume in the 1970s all-you-can-eat seafood buffets weren't a thing.
Speaker 2:It had been so long since a whale had washed up in Lane County nobody could remember how to get rid of one. In selecting its battle plan, the highway division decided the carcass couldn't be buried because it might soon be uncovered. It couldn't be cut up and then buried because nobody wanted to cut it up, and it couldn't be burned so dynamite. It was some 20 cases or a half ton of it. The hope was that the long-dead Pacific gray whale would be almost disintegrated by the blast and that any small pieces still around after the explosion would be taken care of by seagulls and other scavengers.
Speaker 1:I'm a scavenger and I'm supposed to eat the human leftovers. Yum yum.
Speaker 2:Indeed, the seagulls had been standing nearby all day. As everything was being made ready. We asked George Thornton, the highway engineer in charge of the project, for his final observation. Well, I'm confident that it'll work. The only thing is, we're not sure just exactly how much explosives it'll take to disintegrate this thing. So the scavengers seagulls and crabs and whatnot can clean it up. The dynamite was buried primarily on the leeward side of the big mammal, so as most of the remains would be blown toward the sea.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's going to work out real well.
Speaker 2:Taters and land blubber newsmen shortly become land blubber newsmen. With a blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds. Hey, look at that. All right, fred, you can take your hands out of your ears. Here comes Casey's up to the top. Our cameras stopped rolling immediately after the blast. The humor of the entire situation suddenly gave way to a run for survival, as huge chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere. Pieces of meat passed high over our heads, while others were falling at our feet. The dunes were rapidly evacuated as spectators escaped both the falling debris and the overwhelming smell.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's no more news bombing to be done with that story. The Oregon Department of Transportation did a nice job. Thank you for listening to the Scotty Don't X Show, episode 19. Feel free to reach out on Instagram and Facebook at Scotty Don't X. One word all crammed together and I will see you next episode.