Bare Marriage
Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex--to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with To Love, Honor and Vacuum--the blog!
Episodes
267 episodes since 2019
Episode 250: Not All Men—But How Do We Tell?
We know it’s not all men who are predators. But it’s far too many. And a recent horrible court case in France is reminding women all over the world that far too many men are willing and eager to do the unthinkable. The only way to tell who is s...
September 12, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 250
•
55:38
Episode 249: Rebecoming: Figuring Out Why You’re Stuck feat. Dr. Merry Lin
It’s a complete therapy session—in one book and one podcast! Dr. Merry Lin joins us to explain why we so often feel stuck—and how to move forward. If you’ve been confused by terms like trauma, attachment theory, the Stone Age brain, and more, D...
September 05, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 249
•
57:11
Episode 248: Making Faith More Tangible in the Holy Everyday feat. Karen Stiller
What does it look like to actually grow like Christ? Like, not from a sermon, or not from some lofty retreat, but just in the here and now? Can we actually grow “holier”? A beautiful conversation with Karen Stiller, author of the book Hol...
August 29, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 248
•
1:01:23
Episode 247: Ask Sheila and Rebecca Anything! We Tackle Your Questions
Sheila and Rebecca are answering your questions today! We covered how to find a new church when you feel like church has let you down; how to start your sex life well; what to do when people don’t think purity culture was harmful; and so much m...
August 22, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 247
•
1:02:55
Episode 246: How Toxic Marriage Advice Mirrors Coercive Control
What if you discovered that marriage books like The Excellent Wife actually follows Steve Hassan's BITE model of cult indoctrination? And what if these marriage books were giving advice that mirrored coercive control?Bare Marriage podca...
August 15, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 246
•
1:09:34
Episode 245: The Problems with The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it’s affecting tens of thousands of women. Today Marissa Burt and Tia Levings a...
August 08, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 245
•
1:27:53
Episode 244: A Well-Trained Wife with Tia Levings
She went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn’t supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage, trying to fix things by following advice from Gothard and more. It made her sick. It made her hopeles...
August 01, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 244
•
1:26:16
Episode 243: Modesty vs. Vanity: Maybe We Need to Shift the Conversation!
The evangelical church spends a lot of time giving modesty messages to girls. But we hardly ever talk about vanity--even though the Bible condemns it. Could it be that in all our talk about modesty, we're inadvertently promoting vanity? And per...
July 25, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 243
•
57:13
Episode 242: Spot the Propaganda and Logical Fallacies feat. Scott Coley
Ever heard people say, "The Bible is crystal clear" or "if you don't believe that, you don't believe the Bible?" Quite often people equate their interpretation of the Bible with the Bible itself--with bad results. Today Scott Coley joins us to ...
July 18, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 242
•
1:00:10
Episode 241: Both Hurt and Healed by the Church
What if the church hurt you terribly? Can you still heal? Today Ryan George joins us to talk about how his fundamentalist family covers up his father’s sexual abuse of others—and how Ryan eventually learned the truth and turned his father in. A...
July 11, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 241
•
1:07:06
Episode 240: Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy (feat. Cait West) plus Why People Deconstruct
What happens when your family gets sucked into fundamentalism, and your father insists on controlling your life, including who you will marry? You grow up under Christian patriarchy, and you experience serious emotional abuse. Today Cait West j...
July 04, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 240
•
1:14:00
Episode 239: Who Are Exvangelicals? feat. Sarah McCammon
People who deconstruct are often accused of never believing in the first place, or of just wanting to sin. But those who deconstruct are often those who have been hurt the most by toxic teachings. Today Sarah McCammon joins us to talk about who...
June 27, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 239
•
58:33
Episode 238: The Problems with Lies Young Women Believe by Dannah Gresh and Nancy Wolgemuth
Why is a frequenty-used book in teen girls' Bible studies focusing on Satan and not Jesus?A deep dive into the book Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Dannah Gresh. Let's see what is being taught to teen girls--and w...
June 20, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 238
•
1:41:05
Episode 237: Do We Have to Frame All Dads as Heroes?
Every Father’s Day, there’s a rallying cry in many conservative evangelical spaces that men are losing out and fathers are under attack. Where’s the truth in this? And what are the problems with talking about marriage like this? Plus we r...
June 13, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 237
•
1:07:51
Episode 236: The Sex Talk You Never Got with Sam Jolman
What if purity culture didn’t just steal sexual health from women, but stole it from men too? What does it mean for a man to have healthy sexuality? Today licensed counselor Sam Jolman joins us for The Sex Talk You Never Got.To Suppo...
June 06, 2024
•
Season 8
•
Episode 236
•
1:01:53
Episode 235: Wolves, Chimpanzees, and Deer: Let’s confront the Alpha Male Myth
Evangelical conservatives too often portray masculinity as if men are supposed to be the “Alpha male”—aloof, emotionless, vying for control, and bullying. Today we look at how, even in nature, this concept of the Alpha Male has been overblown. ...
May 02, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 235
•
1:01:56
Episode 234: Pastors’ Wives Spill the Tea on Church Life—and the search for authenticity and friendship
Church is messy. Friendships are hard to find. Life in a fishbowl is awkward. But what if…it’s worth it? Such a great convo with Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna about their new book Pastors’ Wives Tell All!Whether you're a pastors' wife, ...
April 25, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 234
•
1:06:54
Episode 233: The Backlash from Those Defending Purity Culture feat. Zachary Wagner
With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of ...
April 18, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 233
•
1:04:54
Episode 232: When Submission "Cults" Groom for Abuse: One Woman's Story
We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually...
April 11, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 232
•
1:03:43
Episode 231: Are We Saying that Wives Don't Have to Have Sex?
When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to figure out why, we invariably get people saying, "so you think women don't have to have sex then?"T...
April 04, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 231
•
51:14
Episode 230: Why Evangelical Honeymoons Go So Badly feat. Jay Stringer
Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE ha...
March 28, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 230
•
56:45
Episode 229: A Victim-Centered Approach to Forgiveness After Trauma
Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and ...
March 21, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 229
•
56:26
Episode 228: How Our Stories Influence Our Marriage Choices feat. Natalie Hoffman
Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations. In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story fro...
March 14, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 228
•
1:06:45
Episode 227: Are We Creating a Strawman out of Complementarianism? We Respond to Critics
So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't act like it. Today Sheila and her husband Keith dissect the arguments that are often used to say "we're ...
March 07, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 227
•
1:04:33
Episode 226: What We've Learned 3 Years After Great Sex Rescue
The Great Sex Rescue turns 3 this week! And it's been a super eventful three years. So much has changed. So let's talk about the feedback we've had, what we've done since, what people are saying--and where we're going from here.To Su...
February 29, 2024
•
Season 7
•
Episode 226
•
1:09:48