The Caregiver Cup Podcast

The Hidden Cost of Caregiving: How Stress and Isolation Affect Your Mental Health

• Cathy VandenHeuvel • Episode 254

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What happens when caregiving becomes too much? The tragic story of Gene Hackman and wife, Betsy serves as a powerful wake-up call for all of us who care for loved ones. Caregiving often appears as an act of pure love and dedication, but behind closed doors, many caregivers struggle with exhaustion, isolation, and overwhelming responsibility that can lead to crisis.

This deeply personal episode explores the hidden emotional toll of caregiving and provides a framework for recognizing when you're approaching your breaking point. Through candid conversation and thoughtful questions, Cathy guides you through an emotional check-in process: How are you really feeling? Are you constantly exhausted? When was the last time you experienced joy? These simple yet profound questions can help identify burnout before it consumes you.

The episode doesn't just highlight problems—it offers practical solutions for building support systems before reaching crisis. From creative ways to enlist help from neighbors and friends to exploring professional resources like respite care, Cathy shares strategies that have worked in her own challenging caregiving journey. She emphasizes that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness but rather an essential survival skill for sustainable caregiving.

Whether you're caring for a spouse with a chronic illness, an aging parent, or a child with special needs, this conversation will help you recognize when "doing it all" becomes dangerous. More importantly, it reminds you that you deserve support and care too. If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't keep it inside—there are people who can and want to help. And if you know a caregiver, check in with them, offer specific assistance, and be part of their essential support network. Your small gesture might be exactly what they need to keep their cup from emptying completely.

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Speaker 1:

Well, hello, my friend, and welcome to another episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast. It's Kathy here, and boy am I grateful to be back with you this week. Today's episode is a tough one, but an important conversation we need to have. Recently, the tragic deaths of Gene Hackman and his wife, betsy made headlines right. While we may never know the full details of what happened behind closed doors, one thing we know is that Gene had Alzheimer's and heart disease and Betsy was his wife and caregiver, and if you haven't watched the recent news or heard the recent news, they both passed away, and you know there's a lot of stories and a lot of comments, but I don't want to dig deep into that in this episode. I want to talk about how we can learn from this or look at opportunities from this, because, as caregivers, we understand just how isolating and exhausting and overwhelming this role can be. This heartbreaking story, horrific story, is a moment for us to pause, reflect and ask ourselves how am I really doing, what can I do to protect my well-being while caring for my loved one, and what steps can I take to make sure I'm not carrying this burden alone? Today, we'll be diving into the hidden emotional toll of caregiving, the impacts of stress and isolation, and ways to recognize when we need support. And I'm going to do this through just really just hard conversations, asking you questions, and hopefully you'll take some of these nuggets and really think about these. But before we reach, before we get into that and before we actually get into the episode, I wanted to take a moment to give a few shout outs to some of my, or some of our incredible caregivers in this community. First of all, I love getting text messages and so, if you see that, send Kathy a text in the show notes. I put it right in the front because I want to hear from you. What did you like about the episode? How are you doing? Introduce yourself, tell me a challenge, give me a suggestion for another podcast. I want it all. So if I get, I call it fan mail or happy mail. If I get something from you, oh my gosh, I cannot wait to dig into it. I also love email replies, and so if you're not on my email list, go ahead and in the show notes you're going to see, you know, join our, join the email community and join that. So let me just share a few that I got this week. First of all, thank you to Kathy, who spells her name with a C, but she actually has an IE after it, where I have a Y. And thank you, kathy, for sending that text from last week's episode where we talked about, you know, the 10 in the morning and a 10 at night. And Kathy gave us her morning ritual, which is always nice to hear examples from other people. She says my morning ritual is meditation, kneel and pray, then she stretches, makes her bed and drinks a full glass of water and then she's off to. She says then it's time to dig in glass of water. And then she's off to. She says then it's time to dig in. I think that's just a perfect way to go ahead and set the stage, especially where she's hitting. She's hitting her inner spirit and health. She's doing some stretching, she's making her bed, so she's accomplished something and she's drinking a full glass of water, getting her body hydrated for the day.

Speaker 1:

I also want to welcome a caregiver who sent me a text. And what's nice about these text messages is I don't get your phone number, I just get the last four digits and then the technology just tells us where your cell phone was originally purchased and the number that it was, and so it says her phone is from Olive Branch, mississippi. I love the city. I don't I've never heard of it before, but I love it. But I'll I'll really just shorten it. She said thanks, she thanked me for finding the podcast, or thanked me for the podcast. I want to thank you for finding the podcast. And she's been caregiving for 10 years for her dad and has two small age children, so she's in what I call the sandwich generation. She's caring for her elderly parent and she's caring for her children. Oh my gosh. And she says I'm truly grateful to you and I want to say I'm truly grateful for you as well.

Speaker 1:

I also received a shout. I want to give a shout out to Paula, who has been with me probably from the very start of my community and I started it in 2020. Paula's from Israel and she replied to an email and she said she's in the midst of war while caregiving and was also sick lately and had car issues, and so she shared that with me. But she said in her email so, like you said, the little things make it better. Trying hard to be grateful, things make it better trying hard to be grateful. And I'm thinking I thought my life was challenging, but her life caring for her husband, who's disabled, caring for herself in a war-ridden community, and she was sick recently. And so, geez, paula, more happier days ahead for you, and we're all thinking of you, especially during this time in your war-ridden country.

Speaker 1:

I also love getting replies, like I said, from weekly newsletters, and I wanted to share this last email that I got because in my last email that I sent out this past weekend, I used an analogy of imagine you and I met up at a coffee shop and we went and sat out on the patio with the sun shining in and we skipped the just the weather conversation and we got right into the deep of caregiving. And Heidi is the person that sent me this beautiful response and I want to just read it. I pulled some of the pieces out. She said funny, you should mention going to a coffee shop, because I try to go to a coffee shop at least once a week to journal and have some me time. I could certainly imagine sitting down to coffee with you and it makes me smile. It makes me smile too, heidi.

Speaker 1:

This week I've been mindful of all I've learned on this caregiving journey. You often encourage us to see caregiving as an opportunity to learn and grow. I thought this was a crazy idea at first. It's so easy to focus on all the things that still need to be done, but it's good to reflect now and then on how much I've really accomplished as a caregiver. I've helped my mom negotiate so many hurdles since my dad passed away a year ago. Those hurdles seemed insurmountable at the time. Now, when we face new ones, I try to remind myself that we will find a way over, as we have done it all along.

Speaker 1:

Anyways, I want to share my thoughts and so grateful for your guidance along the way, sending you love and light, and I want to say thank you, heidi, for your practice and perspective and sharing that with me. And then I replied back and asked if I could share it with you and she said absolutely. You are definitely a light and love for sharing that with us and being able to do that. Now you may not be able to go to a coffee shop once a week, but what can you do? Heidi's challenging us to think about ways that we could go ahead and shift our mindset and take care of us by going to a coffee shop and journaling and then having her thoughts on paper. That helped her. So I thought that was just so great as well. Someday, you and I whether you're in Wisconsin with me someday, hopefully I'm going to get to sit with some of you and have coffee with you, or if you don't like coffee, we can have something else together.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's jump into this tragedy situation where Eugene Hackman and his wife Betsy both passed away in New Mexico and their bodies were found, and they were deceased for quite a while. I don't know if it was a week or whatever it was, but I think this is a perfect opportunity for us to just talk about caregiving. And, first of all, I don't know the behind the scenes. I don't want to judge them, I don't. I mean, there are so many nasty comments out there. I don't, I mean there are so many nasty comments out there. I like to look at it by saying what can we glean from this information and this horrible tragedy?

Speaker 1:

To go ahead and think about ourselves as caregivings, because caregiving often is seen as an act of deep love and selflessness, and it absolutely is. But behind closed door, the reality can be exhausting, isolating and emotionally draining. I know, you know this. It's a role that demands everything from us, you and I. It demands our energy, our patience, our time and, oftentimes, our own well-being, especially in those difficult seasons. Many caregivers reach a point when they completely empty, or they feel completely empty, yet they feel they keep going because they believe that they have no choice.

Speaker 1:

I've been there so many times where I just keep going and going and going until I get to a breaking point. Heck, I've experienced it, like I said, so many times. The one that comes to mind is when I kept going and going and going and then realized that I was sick with respiratory infection and I ended up in the hospital with COVID and for the longest time I wanted to deny that, until my body just said you have to stop. We get so deep in the challenges that we can't even see a way out to. I think about that everyday life. We just keep going and going and going and you feel exhausted, or you start barking at somebody because you're just on edge, or you break down and cry and you just think, oh, I'm just going to take a mental health day or just take a few hours off and take a nap and I'll be back to my old self. But your body keeps reminding you of that. You're exhausted and you may even feel like I have no choice, there's nobody else that can help. You may feel that way because you're so deep into it.

Speaker 1:

We convince ourselves that we can do it all, or our loved ones get so comfortable with us. And I was stuck in this with my mom when my mom was still alive, where I people please, and just I have this control capacity where I just want to control it all, and then eventually, when I get to the point where I can't do it all, get to the point where I can't do it all, I then kind of backed off with my mom and said okay, I'm going to ask John to take you, my brother John to take you to an appointment. And then she's like why aren't you going? You know things better than I do, and you get yourself in this, this, you're chasing your tail all the time and you get so comfortable. And then my mom did not want to open up to having others help, when I should have did it from the beginning, or I should have kept going, and it's kind of like I'm trying to think of it it's kind of like you're taking care of your child If you don't go out and leave the child with a babysitter, the child's never going to adapt to different people and they're just going to be clingy the whole entire time and you're not allowing yourself to breathe. I don't know. That's kind of the example that comes to my mind.

Speaker 1:

I've, you know too, I've spoken with many caregivers who feel this way. They feel trapped, like they have no escape, and then what does that lead to? Exhaustion takes over, and you feel like no one truly sees you as well. And so I'm just going to take a sip of water because I feel something in my throat here. And so I'm just going to take a sip of water because I feel something in my throat here. So I want to ask yourself, I want you to ask yourself some of these questions, because I want you to take an emotional check-in. You know how Heidi goes and journals at the coffee shop. Maybe these are some questions that you can journal about. Maybe these are some questions that you can journal about. And I think once you see it, or you're aware of it, then you can start thinking of ideas to go ahead and help you through this. And if you're saying, I'm absolutely fine, I still want you to listen to these, because all caregivers can improve. We all can improve on something.

Speaker 1:

And, just as a sidebar, I've been trying to figure out I'm going to do an episode on this. I'm trying to figure out and I'm not sleeping at night because of it and I should do an entire episode on this. And I should do an entire episode on this because, starting April 24th, dennis is going to be away from our home and I'm going to have to live in both home in Frater Hospital in Milwaukee, and then try to come home on occasion, just check on the house, get a reprieve, that kind of thing. But I'm trying to plan out 90 days and I'm trying to figure it out and I keep thinking, well, I can do this and I can do this, and I can do this and I can do this, instead of thinking what resources I'm going to use. And so that's where I'm trying to get to today. So now this check-in, I'm going to do the emotional check-in with you.

Speaker 1:

First, I want to ask yourself, I want you to ask yourself how am I really feeling? This should be a question that you have handy now in good seasons and in challenging season and then ask yourself am I constantly feeling exhausted or anxious or emotionally drained, because that's a signal Right now I'm feeling anxious, I'm feeling nervous, I'm feeling worried, but this is the word is. Am I constantly feeling this when I journal? Every morning, I journal my five things I'm grateful for I always do because I'm this achiever kind of thing. I write down three things that I want to accomplish today. That's just part of me. Write down three things that I want to accomplish today, that's just part of me. But if I don't feel like writing and writing everything, I still put how I am and I write I am, and then I'm like there's one I'm always saying I am feeling and then, if I look back now, over the last maybe three to four weeks, I wrote down anxious, every single time there's a pattern.

Speaker 1:

Another question to ask yourself is have I felt resentful, irritable or disconnected from my loved one? That's a signal for you. If you're feeling resentful, irritable or disconnected, you're stressed, you're probably burnt out. You're stressed, you're probably burnt out. You probably need a break or you need somebody to go ahead and tell you or assess what you're doing. Another one do I feel like I'm losing myself in this role? This is a hard one to swallow. Are you just a caregiver? Now you might be saying and you're not just a caregiver, but are you yourself or are you just behind the scenes now and you just feel like you're not enough?

Speaker 1:

I want you to ask yourself that and when was the last time I felt joy, peace or even just a moment of ease? Now I bet Heidi feels a moment of ease when she goes and sits in a coffee shop, in journals. You could go sit at a park, you could go for a walk, you could while your loved one's taking a nap, you could go sit out on the patio and just enjoy the sunshine. When are you feeling joy, peace or even a moment of ease? You need to do these emotional check-ins with yourself to just get a pulse of where you're at. The better thing would be if you had an accountability buddy or a therapist. You could go ahead and give these questions to them and say can you ask me these questions? Okay, the next series of questions I want you to think about is I want you to really recognize your burnout.

Speaker 1:

The overall question is am I pushing myself too hard? Because if you're pushing yourself too hard, then it's just a downward spiral. Am I neglecting my own needs. Think about your sleep, your nutrition, your exercise, even your social time. Are you neglecting these or are you avoiding these? That's a signal of burnout. Do I feel like I have to do everything myself? And then my question would be if I was coaching you, is it your choice that you're doing everything yourself, or do you not see that you can get help? I'm not saying that Betsy was that way, but maybe she couldn't see a different way. Maybe Gene's Alzheimer's didn't allow her. Maybe he got irritated when somebody came to the house. We don't know the behind the scenes.

Speaker 1:

Another question on burnout is have I ignored my own health, skipped doctor's appointments or brushed off my own symptoms? I'm raising my hand. Many, many, many times I've put things off because of your caregiving situation, when you may have to adjust and find bits of time. But you can't skip that. You can't. If you're feeling ill, you need to go to the doctor. Poor thing Betsy died of a respiratory infection. I wonder, I really wonder, if she didn't feel she needed to go to the doctor, or she feels she couldn't go to the doctor. You just wonder. Wish we could talk to her. And then another question do I feel guilty when I even think about taking a break. Or does your loved one make you feel guilty, or do others make you feel guilty? I want you to assess your burnout.

Speaker 1:

Okay, one more series of questions I want you to think about is assessing your support system. Am I carrying this alone, this alone? I want you to really think about it. Have I asked for help, or am I assuming no one else can do it? Dennis and I are having discussion right now because we need to go ahead and cut the lawn and he would do that, or I would fill in if we didn't. But you know what? There's too much going on right now. I'm going to be two hours away. I'm trying to think of four days a week maybe, and coming home three days a week, I don't know. I'm trying to play with that and see what works best for me and the whole process. Play with that and see what works best for me and the whole process. But I don't want to have to rush home and do all the yard work, because those three days that I come home, or two days I come home, I shouldn't be filling those with all tasks. So where could we go ahead and get the help? Should we hire somebody? Should we ask the neighbor? Should we ask our kids? We're going through that process right now.

Speaker 1:

I want you to think about the same thing. Where can you get a break? Do I have at least one person that I confide in about my caregiving struggles? Do you have a buddy? Do you have a best friend? Do you have a therapist? Who are you confiding in about your caregiving struggles? That really they're your support system and not judging you and they allow you to vent and talk about your struggles and know you good enough to be honest with you, when was the last time I had a meaningful conversation that wasn't about caregiving as well? I want you to think about that. You know, when have you had a meaningful conversation? I can't. I love having conversations with my friends and my family, but the very first thing they ask about is caregiving, and I usually always say, okay, that's enough about caregiving, let's talk about you or the kids, or you know what's going on at your work or whatever it would be. Another question is are there resources, respite care or community programs that I can take advantage of? I want you to think about your support systems and that person confiding in you. Are they checking in with you as well. You know, checking in and seeing how you're doing, okay.

Speaker 1:

So now let's talk about recognizing when caregiving becomes too much. Yeah, let's talk about the real stuff here. Right now let's talk about the warning signs that a caregiver is reaching a breaking point. When you reach a breaking point, have you reached a breaking point and what does your breaking point look like? We all will or we all have. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

I think about the very first time where I had a panic attack going into work and I couldn't work that day and I ended up in the parking lot of a park by me in my car and bawling my eyes out. And actually it was the eye-opening experience for me because I realized that day I couldn't do what I was doing and just keep going. I had to figure out the best possible way to go ahead and take care of myself as a caregiver. So I mean, I remember myself crying in showers. I remember myself, you know totally sick. You know all these things. Here's some things. Exhaustion, that never goes away. That's a sign that you're at your breaking point.

Speaker 1:

Look at your physical symptoms, your appearance, your mood, whatever it would be. Maybe your breaking point is where you feel numb, disconnected or hopeless. I felt this way and then I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't want to leave the house, I didn't want to associate with people, I didn't want to do anything that I usually enjoy doing. So you ever get to the point where you have everything to do too and you can't do anything. That's a breaking point too.

Speaker 1:

Have you have thoughts of running away? Or maybe even worse, you just don't want to be in the life anymore. Yeah, you need to be talking to a therapist. You need to be talking to your friend, your accountability buddy, your caregiving buddy, because we all feel numb, disconnected or hopeless. It depends on the situation. If you're caring for an elderly parent with Alzheimer's not saying that Betsy was this way, but maybe she was numb, maybe she was disconnected, maybe she thought you know what it's? Just it's hopeless right now, and you know we need to go ahead and look at those Having thoughts, you know like, of running away.

Speaker 1:

You know we can't do this anymore. How many times have you said this? I just can't do this anymore. Yeah, it's okay to get to that point because it's a wake up call, but the next step would be to saying what can I do? Or, better yet, resentment and anger. You're just mad at the world. You're starting to blame, you're starting to not love your loved one anymore and in certain situations that's true, I mean when Dennis gets really and he's really having side effects of chemo, or he's getting to the point where he just doesn't feel good. He is an owl, he is you know. He gets angry and snaps and I try to go ahead and take a deep breath and just move on. But if it just beats you down every day and they're feeling this way every day, you're bound to go ahead and get to the point of feeling anger and resentment and you can't do it all. So that's why you're going to need some breaks, you're going to need to talk to people and so on.

Speaker 1:

Another thing about recognizing when caregiving becomes too much is recognizing how caregivers can start taking back control. Where can you start taking back control? It's almost like listing all of the things out and saying these are the things I can control, but these are the things I can. And when you look at what I can do to control it, recognizing that asking for help is not a weakness, it's a survival. It could be something as simple as calling up one of your you know, like my husband, my husband's friends, or one of our kids, and saying, hey, will you go ahead and sit with dad for an hour and maybe bring him over? You know his favorite shamrock shake. I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud here and I can get away for a little bit. Or he had one time Dennis had his best friend come over with a protein shake after he had his knee surgery. It was such a nice break so I could just say, okay, I can get away that sort of thing. And so, recognizing where things you can help With my mom, I feel like I had to be sneaky, and these are some of the sneaky things that I did that really worked for me, because my mom would play this guilt game with me or like you must not love me anymore, and it was part of her mental health issues she had.

Speaker 1:

So I would ask a neighbor saying, hey, I need some help tomorrow over lunch hour so I can go ahead and make my calls for work. And my neighbor would say, oh, I got an idea. And my neighbor would come over and say, hey, jan, you want to come over and have lunch with me tomorrow? Or do you want to go take a walk with me? And my mom would be so excited and she would leave. And I'm like, yes, win, so just think about that. Or I found a lady in her apartment building that went to the same hair salon and so they started working on getting their hair done. And so they started working on getting their hair done. They had two separate hairdressers but getting their hair done at the same time, and it was like, yes, the neighbor drived and so I didn't have to go ahead and leave and my mom could go ahead and get a ride with her.

Speaker 1:

So just really trying to get creative, but asking for help and realizing it's not a weakness. You need to go ahead and be in this survival mode. Another thing that you want to do is you can take control of your mindset and your emotions by seeking professional mental health support. You go to a therapist, you go to a coach, you go to somebody that can help you talk through some of your burnout symptoms. And then another thought is if you're listening to this and you're feeling stuck, please stop. There is support available and you deserve it. Maybe it's a support group, maybe it's a therapist, maybe it's an accountability friend. Whatever it could be, you need to go ahead and tap into that because you can't be stuck in. I'm just using the home example. You can't be the only caregiver for your loved one using the home example. You can't be the only caregiver for your loved one 24-7, 365 days. You need a break, especially if your loved one is in the situation where they need pretty much care all the time. Check with the resources, check with your insurance company to see what nursing coverage is. Tap into your family, your friends, their neighbors, all of that kind of stuff, because that will help.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I want to keep going here and talking about this tragedy as a wake-up call and why caregiver support can no longer be ignored. I think there is, and this is just my opinion and we could debate this. I wish we could have a roundtable discussion on it, because I think caregivers are not recognized enough, especially family caregivers, those spouses, those daughters, those nieces or granddaughters or neighbors. As caregivers, we don't want to be ignored and we want awareness to be there. This story is so heartbreaking but, like I said, it's a wake-up call. We need to do more to support caregivers or ourselves before this becomes a crisis in America or in the world. I mean, it just has to be something that we think about. How many times have we said we're caregiving for our parent or we're caregiving for our spouse and they say they're so lucky to have you? I'm trying to think of what the words are and we should be thinking about what are all the resources out there.

Speaker 1:

If somebody's out and about and enjoying a day off, I hope that they get the praise and the gratification, like Heidi at the coffee shop, because they have people taking care of them. One of the things I remember it was way back, but Dennis would go to the Y and work out and he especially would do swimming a lot, and there was an older gentleman there and he would tell us all that, or he would tell Dennis all the time. I'm here every day at this time because I have a nurse taking care of my wife and this is my time to go ahead and get out of the house and I'm thinking kudos to you. It's not just about self-care for you as a caregiver. It's about having a support system in place, knowing that if I'm tied up with something, I have somebody that can drive dentists to chemotherapy If I'm totally busy. Is there somebody that I can hire to clean the house? Is there somebody to help with the lawn care? Is there a nursing service available? All of those things that are available for us that we don't think about.

Speaker 1:

We as women listening to this podcast, we should be advocates for ourselves, building a support network before burnout. Now, I can't remember who. The last podcast episode that I had there was a did I say it in my last one, but I'll bring it up again. If I said it, you'll know the story. But there was a gal that reached out to me that loved the podcast and what they have is a podcast support group where this group of women get together and they share a favorite podcast episode that they listen to and they talk about it. Well, they talked about the Caregiver Cup podcast and they talked about that as a support group. And how kudos is that? Because this caregiver support group are opening up discussions about ways to go ahead and take care of themselves as well as their loved one.

Speaker 1:

I think it's really important to explore respite care options for you as a caregiver, whether that be the senior citizen community center in the area that has card playing or bingo night, or whatever that. You can take your loved one there for an hour or two and then you can get away and do whatever you need to do. Or is there a facility that your loved one needs to be in or can go to where you can do that? Or maybe it's you? What are your respite care options? Can you go ahead and get a weekend off and have somebody watch your loved one? What is that gonna be?

Speaker 1:

And then finding caregiver communities. We are a community of caregivers listening on this podcast. Can you find an in-person caregiver community? I am so hard working on trying to get a community together for us via Zoom again, and that will be coming soon but I have this whole stem cell transplant thing to work on as well, and so I need to be realistic. But look at your local groups, your online support groups. Find one that fits you the best. Talk to doctors, talk to therapists. Talk to therapists they're going to be able to recommend some things as well. Or put a flyer out to this group, send me an email or a text message and saying I want to pull a group together and we can pull a group together via Zoom and we can go ahead and do something informal. I think that's important. So to kind of end today.

Speaker 1:

I know I've been rambling all over the place, but I think that my final words if you're feeling overwhelmed, please don't keep it inside. Caregiving is hard and you don't have to do it alone. There are people who can support you. There are people that can support us. You just have to take the first step and find that support that you need. And if you know a caregiver right now, that's caregiving. Check in with them. That might be your opportunity to go ahead and do that.

Speaker 1:

If you know somebody in your community that posted something or is at your church and they're caregiving for a loved one, say hi to them and connect with them. Maybe you just connect at church each week and say how is everything going with you? I'm thinking about you every day. Here's my phone number. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. You could go ahead and swap that. Don't just ask if they need help. Offer something specific. So, thinking about, how are you doing? Have you tried the new coffee shop down the street, because their coffee is phenomenal? Is there a way that when I go get mine, can I pick you one up and drop it off by you, whatever it would be. So you're offering help and connection, because sometimes a small gesture can change everything.

Speaker 1:

So I hope this helped a little bit, talking about this horrific tragedy, but just really reflecting on you, because I think when we open up our eyes and look at it, even by writing these notes today, I'm trying to think through the realistic way to look forward at those next 90 days of my life as a caregiver and a fur baby, mommy, a grandma, a mom and trying to be there for my spouse, who's going to go through some pretty intense treatment over the next 90 days, but also looking at how can I sustain everything, because I can't do this alone and it's scaring me to death and I'm anxious about it.

Speaker 1:

But if I continue to talk about it, I'm going to go ahead and figure it out as I go, and I want to figure it out with less burnout and less stress and more support and more help. So you take care of my friend and I hope you enjoyed this episode. As always, text me, tell me your thoughts. Where are you sitting right now when it comes to your caregiving? I want you to answer this question how am I really doing? That's the question I want you to put on that text.

Speaker 1:

How am I really doing? Tell me that right now and let me know. And then, if you're not on my email list, I usually take an extension of this podcast and move it into an email and get a little bit deeper into it. So join my email list so that you can go ahead and get a little bit more every week, which is going to help you with your mindset and your thinking and hopefully you don't feel as alone. Take care of my friend and, as always, look at your cup. Where is it filled right now? Because you should be keep filling your cup as a caregiver so that you can show up as the best as you can be. Bye for now.