In today's episode I am going to tell you how to stop feeling insecure in your corporate job with 2 key mindset shifts I will be sharing that will take you from insecure to confident!
Get on the waitlist here for my Epic Work & Life Program.
A 6 month transformational program for high achieving corporate women like YOU that wants to ENJOY going after their big career goals AND have an even more fantastic life.
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Show notes and the transcript can be found here: https://michellekevill.com/podcast
In today's episode I am going to tell you how to stop feeling insecure in your corporate job with 2 key mindset shifts I will be sharing that will take you from insecure to confident!
Get on the waitlist here for my Epic Work & Life Program.
A 6 month transformational program for high achieving corporate women like YOU that wants to ENJOY going after their big career goals AND have an even more fantastic life.
Sign up to my mailing list for free workbooks to help you love your job again!
Follow me on:
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Show notes and the transcript can be found here: https://michellekevill.com/podcast
00:00
Hello, I hope you're well. And if not, I got you at least you are here. My name is Michelle Kevill. And I help high achieving corporate women feel passionate about their job again. I feel like I haven't talked to you guys in ages. But actually, I had skipped recording a little bit, I recorded a few things earlier and advanced to get some just wedding admin and live stuff done. And it is insane coming towards the end of the year. Not only am I fully booked, but I have people on a waitlist. Which again, if you're interested in the epic workload Life program, get on the waitlist, it's in the shownotes, I will be taking on some new people in the start of 2023. Guys, it's so busy, my wedding is so close. So glad I have coaching to manage my brain around all the drama that it loves to give me. But it's also just an exciting time. Like, I just feel very full in my life right now. I feel like there are so many good things, there are so many wins, and yes, challenges in my corporate job, but I know that they are strengthening strengthening me, and my development goals as I continue to climb up. My business is fully booked, and I'm growing as well. And I am learning how to manage that on top of a wedding as well. And I don't think I would be doing this. Without the coaching tools that I have mastered, I think I would be an absolute complete emotional wreck. And it's so much better experiencing life. It's such a better level right now. And it's like this, you know, some of the kind of harder parts and some of the challenges, you know, if anyone's been through a wedding, you know, it can be a little bit stressful with family, etc. But there's also these really good wholesome parts that are popping up and happening. And it is just amazing to sit with that. And to just be looking at my life right now and be like, this is exactly where I want to be. This is fantastic. And I'm so excited to talk about what I'm going to talk about today, which again, as you know, sometimes I'm not always great on the title. And I will be workshopping this a little bit. I'm still workshopping it. But it's really about the fact that we're all insecure. And this is such an interesting trend that I've noticed when I was looking at a little bit of like analytics on my podcasts and talking with some of my clients, is my top episode is the one on adjustment disorder. But my third most popular episode is one around how we're all behind hiding behind masks. And we're all insecure. And I noticed some topics, some podcast episodes where I've talked about insecurity have been quite popular. And I realized I haven't done a very direct episode, on feeling insecure in your job, how to navigate that, and how to move forward with it. And like feel confident. I know I talked about feeling confident, but not really tackling how you're feeling right now, which could be very insecure in your job. And it seems to be such a common thing that people click on to, I've even talked about in some of my tic tock videos as well. And it's been quite popular. So I wanted to do an episode on this. And I wanted to give you some real talk, like some real shit that's going to help you kind of see this in a new light, how I manage my own insecurity and what I do with my clients and some tips that are gonna help you moving forward. And some of this is going to be a little shocking, you're going to sit there and be like what it happened actually funny enough for a client recently, and I want to share that story with you. But it will just open your eyes into what insecurity at the end of the day really is and how you don't need to let it take hold of you anymore. So real talk right now on feeling insecure in your job. Now this could be maybe you get given a project, you think you can't do it, you don't think you're capable. You're sitting there stressing, you might start to compare yourself to others and think everyone else can do it. You might be overworking and like perfecting it and getting into that perfectionist mindset, like you might over work on it late into the night, you might still not think it's good, you might get critical feedback on it. And you you take that to heart and then you judge yourself and you're like, oh my god, this is terrible. And you just wish that you could feel like you believe in yourself your abilities and feel confident. And here's the thing, kids.
04:22
Insecurity never goes away. Shock. Some of you are like, turning off my podcast. I'm flipping the table. And why am I here? If it never goes away? This is bullshit. Hear me out. So I want to give you a client story because I recently happened with a client where they were struggling with a new project and some new responsibilities that they had taken on. And we had done a lot of work. And what was interesting was, she was like, oh my god, like all the old stuff is starting to pop up again. And I said, Yeah, and she said What do you mean like, like the stuff that we've worked on? It started, like was starting to pop up. I'm like, okay, the stuff you worked on at the start, when you worked with me, you are in this place here, right? Like you were starting off here. Now, you have been able to manage that you've been able to become more competent, you've been promoted. And now, yes, some of your insecurity is going to pop up because it's new for you. It's like a new challenge. The example I gave was, it's like, you've gone from level five and a video game to level 10. And now you're your level 10, maybe in like a level 20 area. And you've got to kind of work your way up from that. And she was like, Oh, my God, you security doesn't go away. We just get better at managing. And I was like, Yeah, that's the skill that I help you to master. And we kind of went through it as well, because she noticed that, that she said to me the difference she was noticing, like she was at first a little upset, like, why is this all popping up now. But she was telling me how the difference was, she's noticing it, she's more aware of it. She's checking in with herself. And she's able to stop and be like, Oh, am I going back down these old habits. But at first, it kind of freaked her out a little bit. So I remember she was messaging me at the time. And I was like, No, don't worry, like this is, this is part of it. This is life, right? It's like you're riding a mountain bike, and you've been riding it on, I don't know, easy, flat roads. And now you're gonna ride the bike on some slightly gravelly roads, and it's gonna be a little bit harder the differences, you know how to ride the bike, you're just gonna ride the bike on different environments. Again, I'm giving you metaphors here. And this is the biggest, like thing that I see with people, they think that their insecurity is going to disappear forever, and it will just go away. And then one day, I'll feel confident forever. And as a person who is also being challenged in their own role, as in I am like pushing myself for my own career development. And like, you know, climbing up the ladder and going on to the like, the next next position that I want to work towards, I've been feeling insecure. Guess what I don't, I'm just not creating any drama over it. Because I know that my brain is like, Oh, this is new, I don't like it, I'm just gonna give you all these thoughts. The differences are not reacting to that I'm not freaking out about it. I'm just doing the work to constantly be reminding myself that I'm learning a new skill, and I'm slowly getting better at it. And I'm, you know, doing all these things now, so that I can become more competent and capable in it. This, here's the biggest trap. If you just sit there thinking, I hope my insecurity disappears. Like, you don't want that. And here's the thing, you don't actually want to feel super secure and everything you do like this, some brain stuff going on about it as well. Like, if you were feeling super competent all the time, if you are like back in the cave ages felt super confident to fight that saber toothed Tiger, you would die. So maybe observing it, you know, honing in on your skills, I don't know crafting a spear learning from others learning how to hunted etc, that's going to keep you alive a little longer. And it's it's actually the same here as well, like, it is okay to not know something and to want to learn etc. It's one out insecurity gets the like the complete better of us that maybe it stops us from doing anything, it stops us from wanting to take on new things achieve new goals, because here's the thing, right? You're going to fail. When I see people who are so afraid of like feeling insecure, and like not, you know, in belief of their own capability. What it actually stems from, really is a fear of failure. It's a fear of going back to those old thoughts, which is what I noticed in this client. And it also myself, funnily enough, I was like, hey, going through the same thing, like, here's how, you know, here's how I work through this, here's how we uplevel you from here, right? And manage this. Because especially, you know, along this journey of even if you're working with me, you might think crap, am I reverting back to my old stuff has happened to me as well for years ago with my own coach, and it's like, no, you're just up leveled. And you're just gonna get better from there, it's never going to go, but you will always get better at handling it. And that voice that pops up whenever you are taking on a new thing, will just start to become quieter and quieter and less and less because here's the thing, a lot of our clients when they come see me, if they're in the thick of it, there's so many things going on, they learn these skills. And then another thing happens, and they noticed as well from past clients, it's just a little bit easier to manage. And this is why like, I love what I do. And the difference is it's not that I'm like in that moment or that it's not that I'm like just getting you promoted, right? I'm teaching you how to create future promotions. As in I'm showing you a skill on how to navigate change, how to handle all those thoughts and scary feelings, how to move through them so that you can achieve your goal like promote Session handling that new project, new job, whatever it is, for the future, you are mastering those skills with me in my one on one program. But instead, what I really want to like talk to you about is that insecurity, it's not a bad thing, and it doesn't go away. It just gets easier to manage. But here's the thing, if you're just freaking out and afraid, like, oh, like, I just want it to go. Like, you just, you can't just make it go again. Till it says all the time, there's no special pill I can give you to just make you magically feel a certain way. And some of you have taken their medications to an extent that make you feel this way. But they don't have the greatest side effects. I would know, negative emotions or that it's part of life. Right? You just need it like the skill is how do you manage them in the moment as you go after bigger and bigger goals? That's the key difference. It's like me, I feel insecure in even parts of my business isn't growing it. But I'm not creating any drama around it. Because I'm like, oh, yeah, of course, my brain is just like, Oh, it's a new thing. I do not like new things, please do the same thing you've been doing because it is safe. It's like, okay, cool. We can work with this, we can move forward from that. Like, I just don't treat it seriously, I'm almost kind of like, Alright, you're gonna have a tantrum, that's fine. What are some little actions I can do to show you that this is all safe? And okay, what do we need to do from here? So I want to let you know that because I think sometimes as well, you are looking at other people who are super confident. And I talked about this in my other episode around like everyone's hiding behind a mask, and you think, Oh, they must feel confident all the time? No, they don't. No one is feeling super competent, confident all the time, you're not supposed to feel confident all the time. The difference I feel I have versus years ago, and what I teach my clients is that you actually just feel secure in knowing that you can handle these challenges. That's the key difference. Like the thought I have here, which I always practice, which is just such a good thought, I have the capacity to solve this as it comes. It's brilliant, because it means any kind of challenge or like shit that happens at work, or even in my business, I'm just reminding my brain and anchoring it back to the fact that it's not about what's happened. It's just about managing yourself and getting through it. Like it's not about like knowing having to know everything or be like super niche subject matter expert in this area. It's just that can you figure this out and solve it. And yeah, I have the capacity to solve it and have the capacity to work with my emotions as well. But again, insecurity, it's not going away, you need to master the skill of managing how you feel in those moments. And if you have a fear of insecurity, it can be, again, when you're going after those big goals, it's going to pop up, that's normal. But usually when that happens is because you're afraid of failing. Because you are just going to fail, I am failing. I'm failing in my business, I am failing in corporate, that's a good thing. Because I learned from it. That's a such a growth mindset that instead of being like, Oh my God, this sucks. It's terrible. It's like, hi, I kind of stuffed up here. What can I do next time? How could I, you know, shift this, etc. And that builds my competency, and therefore my confidence in this area, you don't just become like, I don't know, really? Like, how many times did you fail at making pancakes, right? And like some of you, I don't know, might be like, it's super easy, because even when you're a kid, right, you had to learn these skills. You're not judging yourself about it, and you're not looking back and being like, oh, so insecure about making pancakes because here's the other thing, you're really insecure in areas that you really care about, right? Like, I am not a good cook, I can cook and I'm more of a cafeteria chef, I would say I like to just get the food out that my partner is very good cook, and he knows exactly how to like, you know, make the great, blend the food in a way that makes it taste a lot better than what I do. But I don't really care about that. So when I make stuff up, so I'm like, okay, just to thing for next time. Problem is when you are putting again, your self worth your whole self into something, that's when the insecurity can start to pop up, because it's almost like a mirror of your weaknesses. And then you see those weaknesses as a bad thing. Instead of oh, this is just an area I need to learn and grow in. And that is a complete mindset shift. And you need to have that when you're going after your goals because especially in this day and age, being addicted yourself and going after your goals or shaming yourself or like crying about it and like getting really upset and being like, oh my god, I'm so terrible, doesn't help you. It keeps you stuck. That is not to make you feel bad. There's just to be honest, if you really look at what you're doing when you're in this state of feeling really insecure and going with it and reacting to it. It's not helping you or helping you get any more competent in the role. Some of you, for some of you maybe an opportunity has popped up right, but you're too Feel free to go and apply for that opportunity, maybe it's a new job. Maybe it's like a promotion, something like that. Because this fear of like, I don't know how I'm going to manage myself, I don't know how I'm going to handle it like this is too much. And it's okay to have those thoughts. But again, this is where I would be really looking at what you're thinking and how this insecurity is therefore, taking control of your life. And this is where we want to dial it up, not dial it up. Use I said dial up, because of the examples like the the saber toothed Tiger and stuff like that. Now, we really just want to be dialing it down. We all know what areas we want to dial down and work with ourselves to move forward. But if some of you are thinking in my insecurity is just going to disappear one day, you know, it's like saying, I'm going to be happy all the time. That's not true. You need to just know how to manage it. So you can come through the other side every time it does pop up. So a little tip, then to manage insecurity in your job when you're feeling this way. I just want you to write down what is it you're insecure about? And then I want you to look at those and kind of almost list out what's like fact versus fiction, like, what are you over exaggerating? And what are you kind of not, and I know it sounds really basic, but this is actually a really important technique to do. Because seriously, the meat immediately when you write it down for me, I type it out. It loses its power. And I'm going to give you something that I've really only been sharing with my clients, but I will also want to share here, okay, I think I'm actually going to do like a mini kind of, I don't know, I'm going to do something about this, because I actually think this, like this thing that I've been telling myself as well as being like super, super impactful. And really, it says, when you see all those weaknesses that you're going to write out, like I could be that learner, like, I am not timely. I'm not good at presenting all this type of stuff, right? They're your weaknesses, right? I want you to kind of think of it this way. Every weakness you have means you have a strength, your strengths, or your weaknesses, your weaknesses or your strength.
17:14
Okay, I'm going to repeat that again, because it's very important. And we'll completely flip the switch on everything, your strengths or your weaknesses, but your weaknesses are also your strengths. Everybody body thinks that they're meant to be perfect at anything, and it's not possible. I'm going to use a video game example. When you play some video games, they have like attribute scalars or sliders, right. So in a video game, maybe you want to go in as like a tank. So someone that goes into like, you know, fights really hard. Or maybe you want to stay in the back and you want to be more like an archery and stuff like that. And typically with those games, you have these little sliders. So you have like Strength, Dexterity, intelligence, so intelligence, if that's really high, you have your more of a magic built, etc. And the idea is, you can never be like it's not possible to be like all maxed out. There'll be like the weirdest that would be such an Opie build as well, like what is just like us, it would also just make life you'd have this very Opie character that can like I don't know, do magic and everything anyway, getting to meta here. But the rules of the game and the rules of life are you can only kind of Max yourself really in like one or two areas. So if you're a tank, it's going to be like strength and maybe defense. If you are an archery, you're going to be maxed out more in dexterity, but you're not going to be very strong. But because you're not very strong. You are really you know, you can do archery, I don't you know what I mean? When I say dexterity here, that is the same with life. Okay, so you're sitting there thinking, Oh, my God, I'm not super timely, but maybe you're very creative. Right? I'll give you an example. For me. I'm very organized, and very, very organized. That is a brilliant strength of mine. Like I've heard at my whole corporate careers before coaching has been enhanced with coaching. But because I'm very organized, I can be at times a bit pessimistic. Why? Well, the reason I'm organized or people who are kind of like me, one of the reasons we're organizers are always thinking of like, what's the worst case scenario and how can I prepare for that? But because of that, that means you are going to be little bit pessimistic now. Am I mindful of that when I'm like maybe talking with stakeholders and stuff like that? Of course I am. And that's like a good self awareness to have. But instead of being like, Oh, I'm such like a pessimistic person that's always thinking about like, the worst case scenario. I'm like, No, I'm just very organized. And I like to think how can I prevent things and then how can I, I don't know document this somewhere and like, share it with other people so they go through it, etc. and vice versa. There are some really creative people come up with amazing ideas. And on the flip side, maybe they're not super organized. Like, that's what I mean. Everything has a protocol and everything is a yin yang. And that's the same when you're sitting there and you are when you're feeling insecure, and you're writing out the things that you're insecure about, I want you to then look at, okay, what does this mean being insecure in this area? I mean, I have a strength in because I used to prorate myself all the time for being a little bit on the kind of anal side. And I'm like, But why? Everybody, every group, every corporate group, every, I don't know, everyone needs an organized person, at least one. Everyone needs that everyone needs that person. Like I am that person. And that's what I contribute. And I contribute that value to any team, any organization, and everyone else contributes in their own unique way as well you need that's what I mean. You can't be maxing out all the, you know, disparities, the strengths and all of that. It's not It's and if some of you are thinking, well, it is possible. No, it's not shut up, like shut the EFF up. Right now, there is only so much we can do in life, just like say, because then again, my example before is that it's too Opie so isn't like you're too powerful. And then that life becomes easy as in like, the game becomes too easy. But not just that there's just only so much you can do and like focus on. And rather it should be hone in on your strengths. Be aware of your weaknesses, but know that it's okay to have those weaknesses. That's the reason why you have these strengths. Another one I give to some I gave this one recently to a client, who feels like they're a little bit too emotional for corporate and I was just like, great. That means you're going to be a such an empathetic, amazing people leader. They didn't really see it that way. And when we were going through it, they were like, well, yeah, actually, I wouldn't be that that makes see. So yeah, maybe the downside is you take things a little bit to heart, and you might need a little extra time to process that. But how amazing is that? Now you could be saying, Well, isn't that just Silver Lining it? I'm like, No, it's accepting that everyone has a pro and a certain even a good word, a con. And that you can't have those pros. Without those cons, you can't have a strength without a weakness, you cannot be maxed out on all your attributes in the video game. It's a slider. And when you kind of get, you know, increase in something, you may lose out a little bit in some other areas. And that's okay. That's totally fine. This when I started realizing this, this completely changed my world. I was like, oh my god, that is so true. We have strengths and weaknesses. They go up and they go down, you know, like exactly like that. And now I'm just like, man, like, without these weaknesses, I wouldn't have these strengths and vice versa. That is this great. It's just just because to me, it's the kind of just feels like a perfect puzzle piece. And I wish I knew this like 10 years ago, because I just used to judge myself for what I was lacking in and not versus focusing on. These are my strengths, and how do I hone in on those? Am I aware of my weaknesses? Yeah, sure, I'm aware of them. And I will be mindful of them. For example, like, you know, how I show up with stakeholder, stakeholder management and stuff like that. But I'm not shaming myself for being thinking extra carefully over a project and what you know, may or may not happen, there's nothing wrong with that, I don't have to choose that as a bad thing. I can see that as Yeah, that's my style. And that's okay. And we'll it'll adapt and change over time. And that's fine, too. And I just want you to be able to do the same thing as well, because we all have our insecurities, even the corporate top of the chain like BC, yours have insecurities and from a person who has coached so many different types of people, types of people at completely different, like a whole variety of like senior levels to managing like whole business functions. It's the same mind drama, which was so eye opening for me as I was, you know, building this up, I was like, wow, we really it really is all the same thoughts, we are all thinking, the same things. The difference is you're, you're comparing yourself to someone else. And I guarantee you that person is comparing themselves to someone else up the chain. That's a difference and it never ends. So if it's never ending, you might as well be happy where you are now queen. But again, this work on the podcast, it doesn't really go so far again. And I say that because I can only give you so much in these little nuggets of you know, podcast episodes. I also have the challenges as well where it can get a little bit more deeper, but my epic working life program, what it does, it's customized for you your challenges, and I will be helping you master skills and I'm going to get you at the end of the six months to where you're at At whether that is a, you know, a promotion, you want to feel more confident, etc. And the difference is it's not like, okay, like, here's your promotion or great now you can work on that project, it's here's a skill you can reuse again and again and again, for that next corporate jump that you want to make. Even, you know, you can use the same skills with like your partner, your kids, etc, you will use these skills for life and they are customized purely for what it is exactly you need. Because every single one of my clients, they're all unique, they're all different. And they all have their own customized plans that I build up for them. And I teach them certain skills at certain times to get them those results. So the waitlist is in the shownotes. Sign up, because I will be increasing my prices in January. If you sign up before then you will be able to lock in the pre 2024 prices. And yeah, that is it for today. Guys, it's been it's been a while when we're coming up towards the end of the year, I will be taking a little bit of a break, which I will be telling you about that one soon when those breaks are. But thanks again for being an amazing fan listener. And I don't think I say this enough. I would love if you love what I'm doing. If you found this so amazing and so useful. Please leave me a podcast review on specifically iTunes, if you can. And from any main platform that you use it where you can leave a review, because it does actually help the algorithm and get you were helping other people get this message. You are helping other people just like you who is struggling. also receive this message. receive this message. You know what I mean? Get this podcast, it's going to help them I want to be targeting more people like you. So thank you go do that and I will see you next week.