#124 How to set goals for 2024 you can actually achieve

In today's episode I am going to share with you how to set goals for 2024 that you can actually achieve. It's same 3 tips I use with my 1:1 clients that help you stay working towards your goals. 

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Show notes and the transcript can be found here: https://michellekevill.com/podcast 

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Transcript

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00:00

Hello, everyone, I hope you're well. And if not, I got you, at least you are here. My name is Michelle Kevill. And I help high achieving corporate women feel passionate about their job again, welcome to 2024, we are back brand new episodes, some new stuff lined up, especially after my wedding, which is so close, it is less than, like two months away. And it's counting down and my rainy of the day, like literally over Christmas was like, Oh, my God is happening so soon. So there's a whole heap of stuff with that. But I'm really excited for what I've got planned for 2024 for you all, and it is starting with setting goals. And I usually I've done a few episodes, around goals. But given everything I've learned within corporate and within my business, I actually wanted to talk about how to really set your own personal, you know, mainly like corporate goals, whether it's like getting promoted, etc, and how to actually achieve them and give you some really big tips that I've learned that's changed my mindset completely and helped me to achieve normally my corporate goals, my goals in my business as well. And I'm so excited, because last year was such a big year for me, in terms of corporate and my coaching practice, and I feel like this year is gonna be even bigger, on top of that, getting married. And it's just feeling like a big full life at the moment. And I'm really loving it. So let's get into it. But I wanted to give you you know, you know me, I like to give you a little spiel and everything around setting the scene, right. So this is what I find happens. And especially with all my clients at the moment, when it comes to a new year, it feels for some people, it feels very, like fresh, like this is a new start. It's a new time, it's when a lot of people set like resolutions and things that they want to aim for, and go towards. And then by about maybe like, March, April, things start to taper off. We're all in the same grind again. But for some reason, it always seems to be the new year is what I've experienced where everyone whether you know whether you're into coaching or not, seems to go into this whole like, yeah, like New year, new me kind of thing. And I've talked about an episode like quite a while back around, literally about like not setting goals and not setting goals. And this one is about setting goals. But that one was more just as it talks about this whole kind of, like focus on like start of the year, like you can set a goal whenever the hell you want. And I really want to unpack what a goal actually is, and how it gets you to where you want to be. But how to do it in a way that works with you and not against you. Because a lot of you especially if you're a high achiever, you set this goal like oh, you know, I'm gonna get, let's say promoted by the end of this year, you don't make it or you come towards the end of that deadline, you start freaking out about it, you start wondering or something wrong with you start like giving up throwing in the towel, and you do the thing all over again. And it takes like a refresh of the year for this to restart, like for you to maybe start going into that mindset again, and, and you can set a goal whenever you want. But that is also not helpful. So I'm really going to unpack what a goal actually is, how to set one for you, and how to achieve it. And it's going to it's going to be completely different to what you've heard before. Because this for me has changed how I see goals, this for my clients has changed how they see goals, how they use them, so that they can get the promotions that they want. Get on those new promotion. My God, I can't speak to those new projects. And it has been so incredibly helpful for me. So let's get into it. Okay, firstly, I don't want you setting big goals. Okay? Don't do it. Alright, a lot of you are taking from that corporate culture, you know how like, you have your quarterly and your financial goals and you're like to meet a target. And they're usually relatively quite big. And a lot of you are doing the same. Sometimes I find interpersonally. Not not as in not just in corporate, but just, you know, within your personal life, just the goals that you were setting. And what's actually happening is you set this goal, and then you're freaking out when you get to it and you're not meeting the goal. And that is not the purpose of the goal. The reason, corporations is all time. So the reason sometimes you were told to set a big goal is because if you set a bigger than expected goal, you will usually end up better off than if you set a lower goal. So maybe see the example is take my goal. My big goal for this year, is I want to get about 10 discovery calls, right? And the idea being if I set that goal I met if I don't hit it, maybe I get eight but if I set the goal at say five then I may only get three. And the reason is, when you keep redirecting your brain to that big goal, what it's supposed to do is it gets you to, like, it's almost a conscious, it's like you're subconsciously pushing a little bit more, so that you'll hit that goal. Because if you set like a really, I don't know, manageable target, then it's like me, we've done it for the year, it's fine. But and the only reason I'm doing it for myself is because I have done the work to now set really big goals, and not berate myself when I do not achieve them. If anything now I set big goals with the intention that I want to 100% Aim for it. And if I don't get it, that's fine. I can look at the gap and look backwards and say, What should I be doing? What do I need to learn? What do I need to be focusing on? I have a completely different mindset around it as a start for you when it comes to any of these goals, especially when it comes to promotions. Right? I want you to start off really small, small, manageable goals, right? And I would say smaller than usual. Because like if you want to if your promotion is I want to get promoted in a year, maybe you just give yourself three or five years, right? The reason I say that is because I had to do this for myself. And when I gave myself more time, that took away the pressure. And then I was able to kind of concentrate and be like, Oh, okay, well, what is it that I need to do? And I've seen this consistently with women who are high achieving, because you're constantly giving yourself internal, so conscious goals anyway, and expectations that you need to meet, then you have this conscious goal that you're setting, and you're doing these really shitty things around it, where you're like berating yourself, like I have to do it. And then you don't meet that goal. You instead of looking excellent, which is totally normal, by the way, instead of fleeing externally like, right, what you're looking at it practically like a business problem, like what should I be focusing on doing etcetera, you go internal, you blame yourself, there's something wrong with you, this is terrible, or law. And then it restarts again, it's a new year, and you do the same thing. And the same thing happens, right? And then a lot of you actually, by towards the mid year, you're kind of off your goal already, you're like, it's never gonna happen for me, blah, blah, blah. Because you put so much pressure on yourself, it's so much easier for your brain to just be like, Well, fuck this, I don't even want to do it anymore. Which this is the problem when you set really big goals. And I understand why people may tell you to do that. And why corporations do that as well. I do not think when I work with my clients, they're usually doing that. I'm like manageable, small, baby goals here. Like that's what we want, we want to get your nervous system into a state of more not pressure, rather, I have a decent amount of time to do this, which leads into my second step, which is this, you can always extend the deadline. Some of you when I've said this to my clients absolutely hate this, like, what's the point of a fucking goal than the point of a goal? Is it just your North Star, it's just something to give you direction. It's just something when you start, like, let's Okay, let's take Michael, for example, if I am focused, maybe spending a ton of time, I don't know, on updating my website, which is something that I want to do. If I remind myself hang on a minute, I need to get X amount of discovery calls is this really the best use of my time is really just to prioritize everything else that I'm working towards that goal. And just make sure that I'm focusing on the things that are the most highest priority. And they may shift over time. And once I get, you know, maybe more knowledge more skillful in these areas, etc. Maybe I shifted, and it's like, actually, no, I do need to focus on this, whatever. But that won't be happening. If you don't set a goal. Otherwise, you're just gonna be faffing about being like, I'm gonna work on this one, I'm going to work on this thing. And I'm just going to hope it works out. Versus if in your brain, you're just like, I need to get x discovery calls. I'm going to consistently be thinking about that and thinking about what is it that I actually do need to be prioritizing? Is it actually more marketing? Is it this is it, tick tock? I don't know. That's what's going to be happening for you. That's why you want the goal. And the problem. And the reason I say extend the deadline is a lot of you. And it's actually such a common thing a lot. What is the same The same goes, we overestimate or we can do a year we underestimate what we can do in 10 years. And that is really literally down to our brains. Like we humans are very focused on the now. And like don't get me wrong, we can plan out when we think about 10 years, right? Like my life 10 years ago looks completely different to what it looks now. Like if you told if I went back in time and told myself this is my life. Now I just would not believe me and be like what, there was not the plan at all.

09:46

Hence why we really thinks what we can do in a year and then actually might take longer. Right? And this is such a trap, because it's okay to extend the deadline seriously. And I think we take this as well. I've just from like society, corporations, whatever, like we're kind of told, you know, hit the target hit the target is great. And it isn't it is it is a person who has hit a lot of her milestones, whether it be in her corporate career with the promotions, and also my coaching practice and where I am now. It's really interesting the reason we want to hit the goal, don't do wrong, it's great when we hit the goal is awesome. But I will tell this to you this too, right now, if you think that your life is going to magically feel better, or just, it'll just like the grass is greener. On the other side, it's not you still have a brain and you're still managing with the same thoughts and feelings and emotions. You've just moved on to the next goal. And ages ago, I did a podcast on this where it comes down to a perfectionist mindset, right? I am so much better with this. But what I really started to understand was like, oh, there is still a deep part of me that thinks like, yes, it's grass is greener, I'm going to be green over here. And I my work is to just remind myself that you are going to enjoy the journey, you're going to enjoy this hitting the goal doesn't matter. Is it great when you hit the goal 100%. And we can totally enjoy it and celebrate it. And you're going to have so many goals in your life, do you really want to be like 99 and look back at your life and be like, Oh, I had all these milestones that I hit in my you know, business and golf world. And I just kind of hit them and then was still a little bit like, Oh, I'm still here, like, yes, you still have a brain, okay, it's still gonna feel things, you still gonna have thoughts, your those thoughts are going to change as well, like, I have different thoughts to what I did like, even five years ago, because my, you know, having a new focus now in regards to like my coaching practice and corporate world, but you can't keep thinking if I hit the goal, then everything's gonna be great. When you hit the goal, it will be awesome, you'll definitely up level, but it's actually what you've learnt in that time that really matters, which is why extending the deadline is fine. Because you might just need more time. For me, the results that I have now, I literally my business, I literally expected to get that within six months of coaching, like starting my practice. And it took me about three years. And that's totally fine. And if I just told myself from the very beginning, like, hey, it's not going to happen straightaway, you're just going to need more time, I probably would have just been way, way less stressed and slowed down so much more not pushed so hard. And not saying that. Some people might be like, oh, you know that pushing and doing all that stuff is good? Yes, and no, if you're high achieving, and doing tons of stuff, and I talked about this and other episodes, you know, pushing yourself to absolute burnout and just hustling, it's not sustainable. I would have hustled way less, some of the hustling was required and important. But actually, the reason I got to here now is because I had to learn how to and hustle. And really slow down. And I'm actually slowing down so much more in 2024, which I'm going to be talking about a lot on Instagram and Tiktok, which if you don't, you should follow me there. It's in the show notes. And how important that is to have like this really is so much more deeply incorporating, like balance, like much more I already am, I would say balanced. But now that I am taking on more clients, I'm trying to do more things, I am really expanding my capacity to do more, I really need to build up that skill of making sure that I'm prioritizing myself, my family, etc. We're just building that skill as like more and more things in my life come in and I have this like really big and full life. So extending the deadline doesn't mean that you've given up or that you have failed. It just means you just need some more time to learn it. Will you judge a plant if it didn't flower in time as expected? Maybe you would if you're making it something means something about yourself and like being I don't know, you had a competition for flowers or something and like I needed to grow by certain time. Maybe you do that. But like if you're just planting flowers casually in your backyard? No you wouldn't, you would just be like, Oh, it needs a little more time. Instead it would grow in six months, it actually grew at eight months there. It's totally fine. I'm just gonna give it what it needs. It's just this specific plant needed more time to grow. That is going to be such a much more enjoyable experience versus shouting at the plant being like Why aren't you growing fast enough? There's not going to make the plant feel very welcome to bloom then using my plant metaphor here and that one and the third one really is it okay so first you don't set big goals. I want little baby goals, little baby goals that make you feel relaxed but something gives you direction. extend the deadline if you need to. That is totally fine. You may need more time. That's fine. Remember you we underestimate overestimate what we do in a year underestimate what we do in 10 years. The next Want is so important. And it's mindset. And some of you are going to be sigh and just really turn off right now and be like, No, I don't want to hear about this. It's not about I swear to God. People ask me all the time is running a business, you know, doing corporate etc. Like everything that I do in my life, my dog, my partner, the winning heart, no. Managing my mind is hard. Managing my brain who then on few days after Christmas had a freakout being like, I can't do all of this. There's too much there's so much stuff to do with the wedding. Well, ah, and literally just doing a massive, you know, full download my own coaching and realizing that No, everything's fine. My brain just wanted to like, freak out, because it doesn't feel like it's in control. Like, it wasn't real, it was my brain just spurting out dead air to me to freak the eff out. And then I had to just go regulate. That's really what it is, especially when it comes to your goals. How do you manage yourself, when you don't hit your goal, you're going to be addicted yourself about it, you're going to rate yourself, are you going to, like start the new the next new year doing the same thing all over again. Or you're like, Okay, next year will be my year, and then you just give up halfway through. And then you just use external circumstances as well to just really blame where you're at, like, Oh, I'm not getting my promotion because of this. And because of all these other factors. And, you know, I don't even want to try to convince yourself out of this. I've seen this before, like, I don't even want this promotion. Like it's too hard. Like, I can't do it. Like it's whatever, like all this random stuff, just so you don't go after this big goal. And again, disappoint yourself and you just reinforcing this really bad new habit. Also, I apologize, there is a I think a pool party going on next door. So you might be hearing some stuff in the background, I'm hearing it randomly. I just like pause the recording for a second. But that's okay. We keep going. Yes, managing your mind managing your brain, which is constantly trying to I swear to God, it's like I am my prefrontal cortex, my thinking brain, right, this is the gold, the gold, this is the goal. This is the goal. And then the other part of me, I don't know, I call it the toddler me, the just tiny, limbic system, the person I don't know, whatever you want to call it is like the person that part of me that is just a little bit more unregulated is like nope, and just tries to like, just pull me away from that all the freaking time. And you just need to do the work to redirect it back and get it more comfortable with these new things that you're doing. Because when you do set these goals, you do have to lean into some uncomfortableness. And things that are going to, you know, lack of a better word, trigger you here and bring up some stuff. But that's why you set the goal, right? Because it is new, it is going to be harder, like it wouldn't be a goal, if the goal for you, right was something that you could do, let's just take pouring water into a cup, for example, to go and pour a cup of water this month, you can do that, or you can already do it, it's not hot. That's why I wouldn't consider that a goal. If you can already necessarily do it, if you have that evidence, right. That's why you're setting these goals. Because you want to achieve these you want a new lifestyle for yourself, you want to you know, uh, take the promotion, you know, you can do that role. You know, it's a good fit for you, you want to be moving up, but you also want to be doing it in a way where you're not burning out as well. And the only way to do that is through really mindset coaching work. But specifically, my epic Work and Life program. It's a six month one on one coaching program with me and you have tons of flexibility to shift out all your calls at one on one every single week. And you get me as WhatsApp support in between. And I take you through my eight step program. So that FY 2420 24 will be the actual fucking year that you not only get that promotion, right. But you're actually like you love the process that you're going through. You're enjoying achieving that goal, you're going along the journey. And you are, you're not burning out, you're not overworking yourself. Instead, you are leaving on time, you are setting really clear boundaries. You're getting to work on really enjoyable progress, programs, projects. It's continuing from that. This is what I did for myself. This is what I do for my clients. This is what the crazy thing is what I'm doing right now. Like I look at my whole fucking life right now.

19:20

I have so much beauty in it. Like I am a perfect example my own show girl poster for what I'm talking about. Because what I've done in about three to four years I've taken that I have condensed it into a six month program, you get what's probably going to take you frankly, years and this was me. I was getting crushed and I built this over like four years. You get this within six months, instead of coming down to you know 2025 And you're like doing the same thing again, and then guess what, you've wasted time. You've missed out on opportunities. And this is something you just want to continue have you on, I don't know, the next decade, do you really want to be wasting your time in this place, when you can actually get something that is going to work for you. And it's going to bring you to that place where you have this full life where you love your job, you're on your way to getting your promotions. And you're also, you're really evolved like some of the people that I'm working with right now, they are also really exploring some of the things that they just haven't had a chance to do. I mean by that is, they want to build like little like, side hustles and they just in their mind just didn't think they had capacity. And now we freed up their time to do that. You know, we've been working on some stuff within the corporate world and I'm now looking at like, yeah, like I can have this I can have the life that I want. I can make time for myself, I can build this up. Don't let this slip away. Don't let this be the year that you do this all over again. Because it's I've been where you're at exactly. And this is why I do what I do. Because I want people to avoid all the turmoil that I went through with a program that is fit for you hygiene Cobra, women who want to feel passionate about their job again, they want to go after those promotions but they do not want to be burning out at the same time. I've done that for myself. So have my clients to get on my waitlist because I will and should have sent out a notification to everyone about opening up for the new cohort. And if you want to lock in my prices back in 2023 Then get on the waitlist I will be sending out then a note to have a discovery call. Well we will talk about if you are a good fit for the program. But you need to make that leap you need to make 2020 for the year of change for yourself. So I will leave it there and I will see you in the next next episode next week. Bye