In today's episode I am going to tell you what to do when you go into an existential crisis about working a 9 to 5 and how to get out quickly back to loving your job again!
Get on the waitlist here for my Epic Work & Life Program.
A 6 month transformational program for high achieving corporate women like YOU that wants to ENJOY going after their big career goals AND have an even more fantastic life.
Sign up to my mailing list for free workbooks to help you love your job again!
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Show notes and the transcript can be found here: https://michellekevill.com/podcast
In today's episode I am going to tell you what to do when you go into an existential crisis about working a 9 to 5 and how to get out quickly back to loving your job again!
Get on the waitlist here for my Epic Work & Life Program.
A 6 month transformational program for high achieving corporate women like YOU that wants to ENJOY going after their big career goals AND have an even more fantastic life.
Sign up to my mailing list for free workbooks to help you love your job again!
Follow me on:
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Show notes and the transcript can be found here: https://michellekevill.com/podcast
00:00
Hello, everyone, I hope you're well. And if not, I got you at least you're here. My name is Michelle Kevill. And I help high achieving corporate women feel passionate about their job again. Oh my god, guys, I have just I'm so excited. I've got so much stuff happening, I've been finally getting to some things in my coaching practice that I have been meaning to do for what has felt like two years, and I have finally just migrated and updated my website completely. It is so nice, new fresh, we've got frequently asked questions, we've got a whole heap of stuff. And I will also be announcing open dates, times and everything for the epic Work Life Program, which is my six month one on one program with me where you go from absolutely, you know, being overworked hating your job to loving your job again, earning that promotion without burning out. It is everything I have learned in my corporate career, my coaching like years, frankly, of almost a decade's worth of knowledge, just condensed down into eight simple steps in a six month program with support in between. So the link is in the show notes to get on the waitlist for that one. So in today's episode, I want to talk about something that actually happened with a client as I was speaking to them, they were going on. And this is something I've been noticing with quite a few of my clients. And I feel like it has come from what I'm usually seeing on tick tock where there are all these kind of like ads or promotions, or whatever it is to basically just ditch your nine to five and like, go out on a business on your own. And I do want to touch on that a little bit. Because I'll show you what I'm starting to see happen for some of you that are sitting there at their job. They're absolutely hating it right now. And they feel like an absolute cog in the wheel. They think that this is their life. They wish this wasn't their life. They hate the fact that they have to go into a job nine to five day in day out. And I am going to give you a concept and a tool that you can use to kind of get yourself out of this and back into loving your job again, some of you might be like, I don't friggin want to love my job right now. I hate everything. That's fine. Be with your emotions. But I'm just going to give you some hard truths right now. You're going to continue hating everything, including your job, like you're going to just spend the next 2030 years, you're going to hate it, you're going to hate yourself, you're going to you're going to be in it, wishing for retirement or wishing that you win the lotto. And frankly, you just not enjoying the journey. Like it's just like a horrible, it's not the greatest way to live. So I'm going to teach you something this used to happen to me quite regularly as well, especially when I left uni went to the corporate job and was like, Oh, this is not what adults told me it would be like the mundane of life, or mundaneness of life kind of sucks right now. And I thought my life would be something out of I don't know, like a friend's episode, and it is not. So let's get into it. So my client was going on about how she's in a nine to five. And she's just absolutely wishing that she had more time to to, you know, grow her own business. Just work on some personal projects. And she was feeling really defeated. And really just over it and judging like just how much like she was sad about the fact that she is stuck in this like 40 Hour Workweek. And I've again, I'm starting to see this a lot, I used to have this as well. And as we were chatting through it, it actually had nothing to do necessarily with the job and more to do with the fact that she just didn't have time for her personal stuff. Oh, shoot, she should be further ahead in her side business that she's growing. And just some personal projects that she has. And what I say really clearly and this is going to be like the wake up truth for you. I get that it absolutely sucks that you have to work 40 hours a week. But you really do need to change your mindset on this. Okay? The fact is, if all of you got given, like $5 million, would you be in your corporate job? Probably not. You probably be out doing your own stuff. So accept that. Like, that's the case, right? I say it that way. Because what it came down to with this client was that she was feeling completely unfulfilled in a job and I said, Well, what if that's okay? She was like, What do you mean? I'm like, what if it's okay, right now? Your job is not giving you fulfillment? Okay, what that? How do you feel that when she started to feel a bit of less pressure, because this was what was happening? She had so much pressure because she's at this job for most of her time. It should be super fulfilling, like, like always fulfilling she should enjoy it all the time. And this is the problem that so many people get stuck on they expect their corporate job, because they're added all the time to just be super fun. Enjoy it all the time. I don't know something out of a movie. And the fact is, that's not what we expect out of life. That's not what we expect from our pets or children. We still love them but yeah, my my I have to I have a new puppy at the moment of a second dog, and it keeps crapping on the carpet. And it frustrates me. But I don't judge the fact that I don't enjoy raising a puppy 24/7 Then what I start to see is this almost like existential crisis of like, why is this life? Why is it that we have to go to work and we spend less time with our family and friends, etc. And the problem is, you start to feel really stuck, because you're like, Well, I can't, you can't change capitalism or society, you can't do that. And you're dreaming of running away to live off grid in a cottage where you don't have to deal with people, and you don't need money, etc. All that stuff, I used to do this all the time. The reason I'm going to give you a bit of a wake up call, and really push your thinking here is because if you're constantly thinking about how much you hate this, and how much what I mean, is you how much you hate this system. Frankly, what you're doing is you're fighting reality, okay? This is the reality of the world that we live in. Okay, we all need to get some sort of, if we can, some sort of job, you know, that we can contribute to etc. And the challenge is, some of those jobs are not as, quote unquote, fulfilling as we thought it would be. A lot of people who see me including myself, started off having a job where it was super fulfilling and engaging. And then of course, what happened is they have a whole heap of thoughts about themselves about the job. And it's becoming more mean, mundane. And for this client, specifically, they're telling me how they wanted to go back to their old job. And it was so funny, because I said, Okay, here's the thing, I was coaching you when you were in your old job, and you wanted to get out of that job, like various reasons, and now see our, your brain she got this new job, it was completely like it was a complete career change for her a completely different direction. And she, I remember, she was telling me how much like, like little things like she loved about the kind of more slowness of the corporate world versus the world that she was working at before. And now it's just become her normal. And this is what our brains will do, they will take the things that we used to think were absolutely, like, awesome, amazing. And they will make them kind of normalize it, and then we'll add our own thoughts and feelings and crap to it. That's just what our brains do. Our brains will always do that, once you get your new normal, it'll kind of just be like,
07:16
This is it, I want more, I want a different change. And then you'll look back at the past and, and you'll look to the future. And, you know, a reason we're wired to kind of just get used to our normal is again, being super calm in like way back in prehistoric ages, in just a random environment, like the environments always changing, you kind of do want to be like moving around and not getting too settled as such, right. But what I find with my clients is when this existential crisis is actually happening is because there's a deeper reason for it. It's not just the whole army, second corporate world job, look, the reason I say like you got to deal with reality is because the whole like, I tell this to people all the time, and this is how you become passionate and love your job again, when you start putting really high expectations on how your job should be some days, you're gonna love it. Some days, you're gonna hate it. It's like a kid. All right, but you don't freak out necessarily, about your job when you hate it when that did not make sense. When your kids having a bad day, you're not thinking oh my god, now the days will be bad for the rest of eternity. No, you still love the kid. And you know, it has good days and bad days. And it's the same with the job. And the reason you having high expectations, because part of you may absolutely hate the fact that oh my god, why do I have to do a job work nine to five etc. And that is where this crisis comes in. Because again, there is someone out there right now who would absolutely love to be where you're at, they would love to have the nine to five job. And unless you have some other source of income, or you're a millionaire, like let's face it, there are people out there who can just work on a side hobby or whatever it is I want to do and have like a trust fund or something. That's a reality, but you can't if you're fighting that you're going to make your life miserable. And on the flip side, if you were to say just quit your corporate job, so the example I was giving with this client was she wanted to work more on her business and personal stuff, it's like okay, but now your brain is going to be worrying about how it's going to pay the bills and stuff like that. Now there are people out there who take the leap and they build a business full time totally fine for them. And this is where I'm touching on with all these advertisements that I'm seeing for like hating your nine to five and stuff like that. It is catapult cannibalizing it is cannibalizing I don't know what the word is capitalizing, it is capitalizing on your hate for your job right now and telling you that oh my god, there is an out and you can like Be your own boss and like work wherever you want. And I will tell you this right now as a person who is running their own business but also knows people who run their own business full time six figures as like big coaches, you know, things like multi To pull six figures each month, etc. They have their own drama still, they have drama, everyone looks at their life thinking, oh my god, it's amazing and stuff. And no, they have their own drama. And they have so much mindset work that they have to do as well, to continue building an income, they are the boss, it comes with pros and cons, what I see is you're in this state, you get told this story. And either some of you want to go build a business. But again, you're frustrated, because you're like, I don't know how to do it, and I don't have time and etc. But on the flip side, some of you don't want to do that, and just want to like their job, and then maybe your job hop, but again, you're job hopping, and the same thing is happening. And you're just thinking that corporate world is terrible, and everything is terrible. And that this is how it's going to continue. And guess what? You're making your life miserable. That's not to say that, like crappy things don't happen to you at work that are just genuinely shit. But when you're just focusing in on those all the time, you don't enjoy your life, which is why I tell all my clients when it comes to a job, and like if you were given $5 million, would you still be at your job, like, no, I'd be doing this, okay? Then let go that like your job is unfulfilling right now. Or it's not super passionate. And they think it's so where they're like, hang on, but I should be feeling passionate about your job, you will when you let that go, when you let go that it has to be super passionate all the time, when you tell yourself my job right now is unfulfilling. I'm not passionate about my job, I guarantee you the switch that happens when you let that go. And you start to see the beauty in your job again, because you have a high expectation. And then there are a ton of like thoughts, feelings and stuff that an unhelpful pattern. So you are bringing up and doing that kind of like is just stepping in the mud, or you're kind of punching yourself in the face that you're unaware of. That doesn't help that caused you to say, overwork or you feel like you can't say no, like, all this type of stuff that, again, I have I talk a little bit on the podcast. But again, that's what I work in depth one on one with my clients in my epic working life program. Because again, they're so unique. But what I'm teaching and helping you to master is how do you see that for yourself so that you can create a life that you really enjoy outside of work and also inside at work. And it's just a full, beautiful life. And that is so much better than spending your next 2030 years. Absolutely hating it. So that is the first thing that I want to give you a switch on. All right, let go that right now. You're passionate about your job, or that it's like needs to be fulfilling, I want you to let go, I want you to tell yourself that my job right now is I'm fulfilling. I hate my job right now. That's okay, that's allowed, that's valid, that actually needs to come out, all those feelings need to come out first, before you can then do the work to start seeing and start feeling passionate in your job again, the second part of this story that with this client is what we realized is they wanted to do the same amount of things. So the same, okay, they're working 40 hours a week, and they're getting a fuck ton, you know, like a lot of stuff done in the corporate job. They're applying that same logic and same time that they have in their personal life. So she was telling me all the things that she had an a list and things she wanted to do for the business, etc. And it was just too much to do on the weekend. And she wasn't getting through all of it. And then she would feel bad. And then she feels super stressed on the weekends. Because she's like, I have to make the most of this because I don't have enough time. And then sometimes she would buffer and numb out and like just scroll on social media and that she's wasted it etc. Blah, blah, blah. See how it's a snake eating its own tail and a self fulfilling prophecy. When you're putting pressure in, you know all areas of your life to be a certain way, you don't get that outcome. Like you might have 20 Things that you tell yourself to do on the weekend, and you never finish those 20 things and then you never realize you have time to relax, and then you feel defeated. And then oh my god, you start thinking about what was my fucking corporate jobs fault. If I, you know, didn't have this, and I'm gonna have to work on it. Oh my god, I think it sucks that I have to go to a nine to five, do you see the spiral? It's never your job. It's never the external thing. Your brain and body will always tell you, it's the external thing. But I'll tell you this, when you shift an external thing out, most of the time, your brain just going to brain. Here's what I said to her. Because I said, like, you shift the circumstance and you're going to be worrying about something new. Because that's something in our brains love to do. You quit your corporate job so you can do you know, build your business up, etc. Will you be worrying about bills, etc. And here's the thing, it doesn't mean you can't do it because people do that. I know, coaches who have done that I've done really well. But you need to assess yourself internally. When you don't have enough money and you have bills coming up and things that are due. Are you going to be able to do the mindset work in that moment to regulate yourself and focus pragmatically on creating that money. And for some people, I and I'm one of them. I'll be honest with you. I'm slowly building this up, and that is totally fine. I love my corporate job. And I would rather wait into the future do a slow shoot If If this my business was ever to become bigger, I am growing over time, but I'm just growing it in my own pace. I don't I have no rush. I really like the, the way I see my corporate job is it is almost like my absolute biggest investor in my business, it allows me to focus more on learning really key basics, such as marketing, honing in more on my coaching skills, doing a lot more fun things, but also create small little goals or little kind of environments where I am putting some pressure on myself. So I am feeling it, but in a safe way, that is such a better way to do it. Now look, some people want to, you know, throw not throw the challenge, but they want to go all in, good for them. 100%, I am so supportive of that, if that is for you. But this is a problem. And if you're one of those people who, like me, your internal alarm system is a little bit stronger. I could have, I'm not kidding, I could have the absolute best coach in the world. And I guarantee you, I would just be like, vomiting every day. If I was like, oh my god, I'm not like, I just know who I am. And that's fine. That's important. You need to know who you are and what your limits and strengths are. And the reason I say this is because then you can then start to look inward instead of what I need to go quit my job. So, or job hop, because this sucks, you can start to look at well, what can I do instead, what needs to shift and change. And for this client, it was her expectations in her personal life. Because I have different viewpoints on this, some will say that, you know, you having X amount of hours lost, that's a circumstance, you have thoughts about it, and you can always do more. This is my tech, you need to really flesh out how many real hours that you really do have. And then you need to work out. What is it that you like? What do you want your life or like, you know, personal time, whatever to look like in a way that's sustainable. Okay, not in a way where you're like, I will get these 20 things off my list, because that's what I'm expecting myself to do. And that's what I would do if I had like a ton of free time. No, instead of 20 things, maybe it's one thing a week, maybe it's that one admin project awake, and you have to be okay with that you have to shift your expectations, and you want more time. For me, my main aim this year is to have much more of a balance and to be like playing video games as well. Because I know when I'm resting and recovering, and you know, having that creative as such outlet that I'm much more engaged with my clients and the business as well. But that also means I've had to change my expectations of how quickly things get done. Because for the past few years, things have been done been done quick, and they've gone out the door. But I haven't really enjoyed them. Because I've just been rushing through them, I haven't really been slowing down and taking the time, I haven't been enjoying the journey. So the example I gave to this client was if you had two options, if you were going to reach your goal. At any point, you're just you definitely know you're going to reach your goal. And like the next I don't know, five years. And it didn't matter how much you work as long as you did some work. Let's say you didn't one thing a waitress business versus like a 20,000 Things you want to do? Which would you choose? She's like, I do the thing one week, I'm like, well, there you go. Do that. And you might be thinking, but no, you I want to get there faster, and it's not going to happen, etc. Why? That's the next question. Why does it matter if it took a little bit longer? Like I could if I wanted to really, really hustle and then in like a year's time go full on, you know, own be full of my business, right and just on my own etc. But I could also do it at a pace that suits me, I could slowly build it up. And I can enjoy it a lot more. Right. So this is where your expectations need to shift you need to know internally within yourself what you can and can't do, and flesh out. What is that? What's kind of like I would really fresh out your before and I feel like what you're doing currently, what kind of rashie part of you wants to do whether it's like one to 20,000 things a weekend, etc. And what's like, where's the middle ground between that what do you what do you really want to do? Do you want to make sure that you have like three hours a week to video games or something like that, schedule it in, make sure you do that. honor that. Then here is the next part because some people are like, well, then that's not opening up your capacity to do more. Yet you just tail not tail that you just scale that up over time. So for me, I'll give you an example. I really used to take me so long to get my podcast, like just for one episode or week used to take me like half a day. So there were things that I did have to just accept it was going to take me half a day. And now I can get it done within an hour because I've you know, I know the system better. I know how to the formatting, you know, transcript, all the admin stuff, but I know the flow I've been practicing is what I'm trying to say. Once you get better at practicing some of this stuff. Yeah, you can condense it down. And then you can think about okay, maybe I do want to do a little bit more. who do want to do for a few more posts. Syrah and stuff like that and engagement etc. But that will be you need to do that from a cleaner place not from a place of scarcity, not from place of I have to do this, I have to like rush to the angle versus a more genuine place of I just want to be able to expand my capacity for when, you know, it is full time or something like that. So, so in summary, two things, one, if you hate your job, and you're just in that existential crisis, one, remove the expectations from your job right now, that is like the biggest thing that you can do it, it can be so helpful for you. Just tell yourself you hate your job, it's fine. It's usually when you like, you will feel a release. You can tell yourself the job isn't fulfilling, you're not passionate about it, your whole mindset will change when you do that, because you are letting go of expectations. That is the first step. The second one is to look at, what are you doing to blame the circumstance playing the job playing the society, you know, how society is set up, etc? Versus what can you how can you get control back of your life? What expectations need to change? First one is again, just loving a job every single day. But what is it about your personal life in all areas of your life that you need to shift and change as well. And then the third part, which you can look at my previous episodes, if you're new and I talk about this because some of you are like, but I have to have to overwork and this isn't sustainable, etc. I have so many podcast episodes that touch on this and how to get you out of that in a way where you're feeling confident to say no, but it's not like a damaging your reputation where you're not completely burning out. But you're going after promotions there in my episodes, but to do that at such a deeper level one on one that's in my program. It's because everyone is unique, different and I customize it for the person. So again, waitlist is in the shownotes if you're interested in that, but yes, I hope that is helpful for you today. I'll see you next week.