Discover the silent force that shapes our character: non-conditional effort.
Reflecting on my children's sports endeavors, it becomes evident how often we engage in a subtle trade — effort for approval. Yet, the unheralded diligence, the kind performed without spectators or the promise of applause, truly defines us. Join us in unpacking this concept, whose insights on selfless acts and personal growth are as profound as they are uplifting.
We weave through the tapestry of life's arenas — from the grit of athletes perfecting their craft in solitude to the unsung gestures that fortify relationships. You'll learn why the most meaningful strides in personal health and workplace contributions are those made from a place of authenticity, not for recognition. Aaron leaves us with the compelling notion that our greatest impact lies in simple acts of kindness, with ripples extending far beyond what the eye can see.
Connect with Aaron to continue exploring the depths of genuine effort and its transformative power.
Discover the silent force that shapes our character: non-conditional effort.
Reflecting on my children's sports endeavors, it becomes evident how often we engage in a subtle trade — effort for approval. Yet, the unheralded diligence, the kind performed without spectators or the promise of applause, truly defines us. Join us in unpacking this concept, whose insights on selfless acts and personal growth are as profound as they are uplifting.
We weave through the tapestry of life's arenas — from the grit of athletes perfecting their craft in solitude to the unsung gestures that fortify relationships. You'll learn why the most meaningful strides in personal health and workplace contributions are those made from a place of authenticity, not for recognition. Aaron leaves us with the compelling notion that our greatest impact lies in simple acts of kindness, with ripples extending far beyond what the eye can see.
Connect with Aaron to continue exploring the depths of genuine effort and its transformative power.
Welcome to the MindBody Project Podcast. After over a decade in the health and wellness industry, erin realized that our bodies change only short-term unless our mindset changes. For long-term success, both our mind and body are forever linked. We are continually building up new ideas and tearing down old ones in our construction zone we call our mind. After this podcast is over, make sure you give it a like and a share and please subscribe and review this podcast. I would now like to introduce you to your host, the man connecting your mind and body to create a limitless life, aaron Degler.
Speaker 2:
Welcome back to the MindBodyProject. Thanks for taking a little time to join me today. Over the years, as my kids grew up, you know they played different sports and I'd tell them, you know, put forth effort. Or they, in school, I'd say, put forth some effort If they're struggling and say you know, why are you not putting, giving any effort? You know we, we use the word effort a lot. I used it a lot with my kids, I use it a lot with clients. I use it, I think about myself and am I putting enough effort towards my business? Am I putting enough effort towards my health? Am I putting enough effort towards exercising? Am I putting enough effort towards my relationships, towards my marriage? To all these different things? We question ourselves and we say am I putting effort towards this or that? And we use the word effort a lot and we don't think much about it. We just think it's effort, as in we have to be working, taking action towards whatever it is, but we don't think about what type of effort we're giving. And there's a couple of different types of effort that we're going to talk about today that are different, and it's effort that you put forth depending on where you're at. So we're going to talk about two different types of effort. One is conditional effort and one is non-conditional effort. So my kids, like I said, they played sports in school, in high school, a little bit in college, and they put forth effort in high school because they wanted to play in a certain position, they wanted to make the team moved on to college. Did those things put forth that effort in college? Whether it was hitting the weight room, putting in some extra miles to run to get in shape, for the sport, to be ready for the season, they put forth effort. But that's conditional effort. In other words, it's predicated on what do I get back, you know, if we're in a relationship and we put forth effort in the relationship, if we're in the relationship, if we're, let's say, married and the husband and this is I'm not saying this is typical of husbands or because it's different in all situations, but let's say he's really making an effort to put forth the effort of cleaning up after himself, putting his dirty clothes in the laundry, doing some dishes, you know, vacuuming, doing all the different things that sometimes husbands don't want to do and because he's hoping, oh, maybe she'll notice, maybe she'll say oh, thank you for putting that in the laundry. Oh, thank you for picking up. After supper, oh, thank you for doing this. And what happens when he doesn't get that? It's like, oh well, she's not noticing. I guess I'll just stop. So that's a conditional effort. If she notices, if she says something, I will continue because I'm getting something back and get some positive feedback for the effort I'm putting forth. Same thing, and I'm not saying that. You know, some husbands do a great job at that. Some wives mow and weed, eat and all that. But maybe she's not a mower. And she says you know, I'm going to save him some time and I'm going to go out and mow. And he comes home and the yard's nice and looking sharp and he goes, doesn't say anything, sits down, doesn't say anything and she goes. Well, I'm not ever doing that again.
Speaker 2:
It's a conditional effort. If I get some praise, if I get some thank you, I'll keep doing it. I'll do it from time to time. That's conditional. Going back to the sports if I put in the extra reps, if I put in the extra time on the court, on the field, they're going to notice me. Coaches are going to notice me. I'm going to get some more playing time. I'm going to get the position I've been after. It's conditional effort, so how does that look in our everyday life? Reputation is a conditional effort and you might go, is it? But think about it.
Speaker 2:
Sometimes, you know, we act a certain way around certain people, would we? You know, this is conditional. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but sometimes we might act different on Sunday sitting in the pew than we do hanging out with our buddies on a Saturday night. That's conditional. What kind of response, what kind of feedback are we getting from the people we're around? I'm going to put forth the effort in the church pew on Sunday morning to know all the words, say all the right things because of the people I'm surrounded by. Am I going to put forth that safe effort around my buddies on a Saturday night? Because what's their feedback going to be? It's conditional. It is conditional effort. Again, not saying it's right or wrong, just saying that.
Speaker 2:
Be aware that reputation is conditional. And reputation, when it's conditional, it's around. You know, if you're around those people constantly, whether good or bad, you could have a good reputation or a bad reputation. So reputation is conditional. So we just want to be aware of non-conditional and conditional. So if reputation is conditional, what would be considered non-conditional effort?
Speaker 2:
Our character is non-conditional effort. So what does that mean? That means let's define character first. Character is what will you do when nobody's around? And that is when nobody gives you any accolades, any praise, anything, when you do what you do when nobody's watching, nobody's around. That is your character. Your character is non-conditional effort, because you're not looking for outside feedback, outside praise, outside anything it's. This is my moral compass, this is what I have to stay in line with. This is my character, because I can't go against this.
Speaker 2:
And I've trained athletes over the years high school athletes and trained lots of them over the years, and I can always tell the ones that will be successful going into college and ones that will struggle a little bit in their sport going into college. And why is that? Because a lot of times I've experienced that the high school athletes that I've worked with you know they have to be at practice at this time. Their parents tell them they have to meet their extra lessons, extra training at this time. You know they're told go here, go there, do this. So I always ask them when they come. So you know, why are you here? Do you want to be here? Or is it just your parents said hey, we think this is a good idea and this is what you're doing. And most of the time they'll tell me well, my parents told me that this is what I need to do, so that's what they do, and again over the years, my experience has been that they're very coachable.
Speaker 2:
It's not that they are disrespectful in any way or won't listen, not at all. They're very coachable, do exactly what you, very coachable, do exactly what you tell them to do.
Speaker 2:
But I'll see them over time and I say, hey, you know, did you go get in those extra reps on your own? Hey, did you go get up early and get that run in? Hey, did you get those extra shots in? Hey, did you practice a little bit more? Well, no, all these things come up and nobody told them hey, you got to be here at this time, you got to do this. So they didn't do it. So they're only putting in conditional effort.
Speaker 2:
The ones that make it, that have a better experience in college sports, in my experience, are those ones that, hey, I got up and I did this. I got up and I went and shot some more baskets. Hey, I got up and I swung the club a little bit more. Hey, I got up and I practiced on my hitting on my pitching. Hey, I practiced on my serves. Nobody told me to, I just did it. Because that's non-conditional, because for them, I got to get better. For me, it's not about who am I going to impress in the grandstands. What's the coach going to see? What's my parents going to say or not say? What are other people going to say or not say? It's about can I be better. It's knowing. This is what I've been told I need to do, but I can do better. I can do more, and I'm using sports as an example.
Speaker 2:
But we go back to relationships Oftentimes. Sometimes we stop doing things because, well, somebody didn't notice, they didn't say anything. So that's a conditional effort. We're doing that because we're waiting for that feedback. But we've heard of unconditional love. Unconditional means we're not going to put any conditions on it. Non-conditional effort is the same way. We're not putting any conditions on it. So in a relationship, we're going to keep serving that person because we love them, we're friends. We're going to keep doing those things for them because our character says that's what we have to do. We have to be a good human being to this other human being that we love, regardless of what they're giving back to us. My character says I have to do these things for them. I need to mow the grass, even if he doesn't notice or she doesn't notice, because I know, without them saying anything, that's going to help, that's going to make a difference. I need to be a little tidier, keep up after myself, not because he or she might notice, but because that's the right thing to do. That's going to make it easier. I can't be a slob, I can't be a mess, no matter what he or she says to me. That's what I have to do. That's what I'm going to do because I can be better.
Speaker 2:
And I look at non-conditional effort as we should always be asking ourselves that Am I doing this for? Is it predicated on what I get back, or is it because I just know I can do better and I can be better, and if that goes back to well, it's getting healthier? A lot of times I hear clients say, well, yeah, but I'm better than they are. Like, you know, I'm 50. I'm in better shape than most 50-year-olds. Well, that's great, that's conditional effort, saying you know, I'm average, I'm above average, I'm a little more fitter than other 50-year-olds. Nonconditional effort goes you don't even talk about the other 50-year-olds. You talk about I do this, but I think I can do more. I think I got more in me, I think I can push a little harder. I can maybe start running. I can maybe run a little faster, I can cycle a little faster, I can lift a little bit more weight, I can eat a little bit better. It's not ever comparing ourselves against the other 20-year-old, the other 45-year-old, the other 70-year-old. It's non-conditional effort is I'm going to do this because, yeah, I may, if I looked around. Yeah, I may be above the other people my age, but I know for me I can do more. And that's where non-conditional effort really moves us, moves the needle forward, whether it's for ourselves, whether it's for other people. When we put in that non-conditional effort, we can see some real changes happening.
Speaker 2:
A conditional effort is we go to work, we put in our work, we get paid. We're putting in that effort because of the money we're getting back. What happens sometimes if we say, hey, we're going to pay you the same amount, but we need so much more work out of you, I don't know about that Then we automatically know it's conditional. Non-conditional effort at a work would be I'm getting paid this, I'm getting paid that, but I see these things need to be done and I just can't leave that be. I'm going to do that and nobody may praise me, but I know it helps out.
Speaker 2:
It makes a difference. Maybe it makes a difference in the workflow or the daily lives of my coworkers. Whatever it is, it makes a difference and I think it was Jim Rohn said, to add more value than you're paid for, and we do that Over time. At the moment we may be adding more value than we're getting paid for, but down the road that's going to make us grow as a person, because we're adding value and we know that's important. We're adding value because I think everybody and this goes back into non-conditional effort everybody we come in contact with, how do we add value to that person?
Speaker 2:
So many times and we've come across these people and sometimes we're that person we take, we take, we don. We're that person we take, we take. We don't leave any value. We take, we take, we take, we take. We can't always be takers. We have to also be givers and add value.
Speaker 2:
And that add value doesn't mean you're putting out dollars. It means you add value by a smile, by a kind word, by a nice gesture, and that may be something that nobody ever sees. It's that non-conditional effort that you see a person that maybe is frowning and you smile at them. You're not looking for anything back, you just know that that might make them feel better. You do an anonymous gesture for somebody, not because you're looking for the big accolades, the big printed out check in the newspaper that you're standing behind. No, it's because you know it's going to make a difference in that person's life, because it's adding value to that person.
Speaker 2:
And nonconditional is that's who I am and that's what I give, and it's not because of something grandstanding or the accolades or the cheers or whatever it is. It's just because that's who I am and that's what I have to do, and that goes back to our character. So this is just a reminder and kind of to put on the forefront when we're putting effort, what are we doing? Is it conditional? Are we looking for something in return, or is it non--conditional, whereas we're going to do it no matter what, because it's just kind of who we are and what we are about.
Speaker 2:
I like I found this um quote. It said our character is what we do daily. Our reputation is what we do occasionally. Both are very powerful. We have to be mindful of both our character and our reputation, because both are very important. Both of them make us up, but we have control over our reputation and we have control over our character. We have control over our conditional effort and we have control over our non-conditional effort. So be mindful and I challenge you those in the coming days and weeks and months of your efforts and what is aligning with your reputation and what is aligning with your character, because we will put out effort. We just have to decide if it's going to be conditional or non-conditional.
Speaker 2:
I'd love to connect with you. You can connect with me on my website, aarondeglercom. Also on there you can find we can connect through text. It has a number that you can send in, just a keyword and then you get my text every day, on a daily basis. Every Friday I have High Five Friday send out a little video for the weekend to challenge you, to encourage you, to inspire you, by simply, it's a High Five Friday and puts a smile on your face. So you can also sign up for my weekly blog there Email that Send out every Monday Fit by Friday. Just a little personal story and lesson learned from me to you and a challenge for the coming week to get your week started off right and get your thought going. I also have different programs on there for my FitLife360 program to one-on-one coaching, to one-on-one personal training, all those things. You can go to AaronDeglercom to find those. And as I tell my wife Kim every night before I go to bed, it's bomb of the night, double A out.
Speaker 1:
Thank you for listening to today's podcast. If you would like to connect with Aaron, you can do so by going to AaronDeglercom or find him on social media as erindegler on Instagram, facebook and YouTube. Once again, we greatly appreciate you tuning in. If you've enjoyed the show, please feel free to rate, subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We greatly appreciate that effort and we'll catch you in the next episode of the MindBody Project Podcast.
