3 Essential Questions to Ask Yourself: The Feel Good Blueprint (*It’s our ONE YEAR!*)

It is our ONE YEAR today! feelgoodery is a year old, and I couldn't have done it without you.

We’ve covered a lot in a year - we’ve talked better ways to poop, natural ways to reduce anxiety, how to reduce seasonal allergies naturally, how to sleep better - and we've spoken with wonderful wonderful guest who’ve offered fantastic insights about worry,  caffeine, homeopathy and more. It's been a great ride so far, and we're just getting started.

In today’s episode though, it’s just you and me. And in honour of our one year, I’m breaking down my feelgood blueprint and the philosophy for how I work. 


And then, I want to ask you 3 very specific questions. 

If you deal with overwhelm from all of the information out there, or deal with feelings of self-doubt, or anxiety, or bloat, or cravings orrrr  you just want a solid place to start when it comes to feeling better, today’s episode is worth a listen.

We’re covering:

• Why I put l-theanine in my coffee
• 3 Pillars or Roots I use in Practice
• 3 Essential Questions to Ask yourself
• Why we have to work harder to eat well 
• YOUR feelgood things that you wrote in about!

Want to stay in the loop about upcoming announcements and ways in which we can work together? Opt in here 

www.kylebuchanan.ca/newsletter-opt-in

(and I very much promise you will NOT be inundated with a bunch of emails, I can't stand when that happens...)

Thank you for being part of this feelgoodery space, and I hope you enjoy today's episode! 

Transcript

It is our one year today, feelgoodery is one year old, one years old? One year old. You and I have spent time together every week for the past year. And a common review of this show is that it feels like you and I are just talking one-on-one in a room, which makes me so incredibly happy, because that was always the intention with this show. You are my friend, I hope I can be your friend. And as friends do, sometimes they ask each other the honest questions, and keep each other accountable. Because accountability, especially in relation to any goal we have, is incredibly important.  So in today’s episode, in honour of our one year, I want to ask you 3 very specific questions, and there is a reason for each one. And my hope is that by the end of the episode, there is at least one ah-ha moment, or gumption moment, so that you can do one or two things, in some way, that can help you feel good. Because when you feel good, more good comes.  As always, feelgoodery is recorded in front of a live studio dog. My name is Kyle Buchanan, I’m so happy you’re here. Here we go. 

Hello hello, it’s a sunny morning here, I’ve got my coffee with l-theanine in it which I talked about on instagram a couple of days ago, great for balancing the jittery effects of the caffeine and it’s also great for a brain boost, Sam’s beside me - the live studio dog, he’s sleeping so if you hear the odd snore that is him. 

Before we go on, just one bit of housekeeping, if you enjoy this podcast, if you’ve listened to a couple episodes or more and are not yet subscribed to the show, it would be incredibly helpful to me if you could hit the subscribe button for this show. Doesn’t cost anything, it’s just a matter of going to the show, and clicking the ‘subscribe’ button on the top right. This way any new episodes will show up on your home screen, and it also helps boost this show’s discoverability so other people can find it more easily! Thank you!

Alright. We’ve set the scene, we’ve got the housekeeping out of the way, and now I get to ask you how you’re doing. And there is a reason for this which I’ll be getting too.. 

We’re all coming into this podcast, into this feelgoodery space,  from different headspaces…. 

Maybe youhad a great sleep last night - slept like a baby, had a great breakfast, no one at work has annoyed you yet, and you’re coming into this episode feeling energized, maybe a little excited.

 On the other hand, maybe  you had a terrible sleep last night, had to grab a breakfast sandwich at the corner store because you were rushed and have already received not one but two emails that started with  “as per my last email” which is so passive aggressive but we’ve all done - and you’re coming into this episode  feeling a little tired, grumpy and maybe a little gasy.

Who knows. But the point is - however you feel right now, is going to influence how you experience our time together. 

And it goes beyond our time together because if you think about it -  at the end of the day - how we feel, influences how we experience life, and what we subsequently,  get out of life. 

And it might sound obvious - but if you FEEL GOOD, life’s a happier place to be. You perform better, you enjoy things more, the little things don’t take you down as much. It’s easier to navigate life when you just feel good. 

And the thing is - there’s not just ONE way to feel good. There are so many roads into it - and my work, and this podcast -  is about exploring all the ways in which we can get there. 

And while there are so many roads, when it comes to feeling good, my approach in the work I do, in my practice, when I work with people - largely revolves around 3 pillars. 

MIND BODY GUT. 

The mind is your brain and how you think of yourself, what your self talk and belief in yourself looks like. 

The body involves our nervous system and how grounded we feel, and our physicality, our breath and beyond. 

And our Gut involves our nutrition and how we feed ourselves, as well as the health of our digestive system and the ability to properly assimilate the food that we eat. 

Each one of these do help to support the other ones, but they all need to be considered and supported when it comes to our ability to feel good, and feel our best.  

The others DON’T work as well if ONE of those Pillars is NOT BEING MET. 

And a PRIME example of this would be FOCUSING only on your mind and not your body when it comes to something like affirmations. 

So let’s say you want to feel more confident, and you see someone online telling you about the power of affirmations. And that you should say outloud to yourself I AM CONFIDENT. I AM CONFIDENT. I AM CONFIDENT.

So you try it, and it feels pretty good, feels okay, but it doesn’t feel like it’s sticking. 

And  LISTEN - I love affirmations, I am a fan of them. But they are one part of a bigger puzzle. 

Because affirmations won’t work if your body and your nervous system feels ungrounded. If your body, and your nervous system, is in a state of fight or flight all day because your stress tolerance is way down and your body can’t cope, your body will be flooded with stress hormones which will elicit FEELINGS of panic and anxiety, and that will work against those affirmations of “I feel confident”.

Because it’s not our thoughts that create our feelings, it’s our feelings that create our thoughts. 

I’ll say that one more time. More often than not. It’s not our thoughts that create our feelings, it’s our feelings that create out thoughts.

So if you’re BODY feels unsafe, if it feels stressed out, those FEELINGS will elicit the thoughts of “I AM ANXIOUS” “SOMETHING IS WRONG” “THIS REALLY SUCKS RIGHT NOW”.  

So saying “I AM CONFIDENT” over those bad thoughts and feelings, might help a little bit because words DO have power… but it’s sort of like putting a bandaid on a gushing injury. 

SO I SAY ALL THIS not to dismiss the power of affirmations, but to place the importance on supporting the BODY at the same time you are supporting the MIND with those words.

Because if you are doing things to support your nervous system and ground the body, so that it feels safe, and feels good, then that combination of the BODY and MIND have this wonderful synergistic effect that results in ACTUAL results, where you ACTUALLY feel good.

And the third pillar - the gut, plays a huge role too.

Because let’s say you’re doing things to ground your body, and upgrade your mind and your mindset, but you’re eating like absolute crap - You’re eating a ton of processed carbs, not enough protein and fibre.

What happens in this case - is that as a result of a less than optimal diet, your blood sugar becomes dysregulated, which causes blood sugar swings, which triggers cortisol to come in and try to balance things out which results in stress hormones coming in strong, which sends your NERVOUS system back into that fight or flight mode, which will trigger feelings of anxiety, which will make it that much harder to affirm to yourself that everything is actually okay. 

It’s like this terrible domino effect.

All three things, mind, body, gut, these three pillars or thee ROOTS as I like to call them, serve fundamental roles in your ability to feel good. 

So this is where we come to the point in this episode where I’m going to ask you 3 honest questions, that I truly want you to consider. And I ask this as someone who has to also ask myself these same questions. Because we’re human, and we need reminders and we need checkins and we need accountability. 

So as we get into these questions, to make the most of it, really consider what your answer is. It’s just you and me here, and if you have the time to jot down some notes as you answer, that can always help. 

The first question is.

How do you speak to yourself? 

If you had to choose, would you say you’re compassionate and encouraging to yourself when to comes to self talk? Or are you critical or harsh or self-limiting in how you speak to yourself? 

This question revolves around the mind pillar. 

So let’s say you have a difficult task at hand. Something you know you have to and will get done. Like a project at work, or your taxes. Something that might feel overwhelming. 
Before you even start - what are your initial thoughts . . . is it “I can and I will get this done”. OR is it “Ugh I can’t do this, I’m not good at this sort of stuff”...If you had to choose between those, which would it be?

If you chose the second one, first - know you’re not alone. A lot of us out there, NO MATTER THE TASK will initially think “I can’t do this, I suck at this stuff etc”

But’s let take a second to think about this. In this scenario, , we’re talking about a task you  KNOW you will accomplish, maybe because you've done it before - like taxes - or maybe because it’s your job and you know it HAS to get done. You know in the end it will be done, but  still your instinct is to say to yourself -  “ugh i can’t do this…. You just make it more energetically difficult for yourself. 

But what if it’s a task that you’ve never done before? Maybe it’s a health goal, maybe it’s starting your own business or going out on your own in some form… if you’re default self talk is “i can’t do this”  - it’s not that you won’t accomplish your goal, it just means that it will be a lot harder of a journey and also, sadly, might decrease those chances succeeding. 

BUT - on the other end - if you start catching this moments, if we’re talking SOLEY the mind here - even though i said everything is connected, especially with the body, but for the purposes of THIS question - it’s worth noting that  more positive self talk can make you more likely to accomplish your goals. 

And I don’t KNOW sports, but we can SEE this in action if we look at this study. 

In a study published in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology in 2012, researchers looked at the effects of positive self-talk on basketball free-throw shooting performance. The participants were divided into two groups: one group that received positive self-talk training and one control group that did not receive any specific training. The positive self-talk training involved teaching participants to use positive affirmations, such as "I am confident," "I can do this," and "I will make this shot," during their free-throw practice sessions.

The result showed that the group that received positive self-talk training demonstrated significant improvements in free-throw shooting accuracy compared to the control group. Additionally, the positive self-talk group reported higher levels of self-confidence and lower levels of anxiety during free-throw shooting. (Reference: Hatzigeorgiadis, A., Zourbanos, N., Galanis, E., & Theodorakis, Y. (2012). Self-talk and sports performance: A meta-analysis. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 24(2), 139–157)

So there is something to this. Now i am NOT talking about forcing toxic positivity on yourself. I’m bringing this up to highlight the possibility that more of this sort of talk, and less of the negative, might have more of an impact than we might think. 

And when I work with people around health, a key aspect is figuring out what that self talk looks like, because it is a key factor in keeping that determination and motivation going when times get tough. 

So in answering this question, it’s not about making you feel worse about being hard on yourself. It’s to simply raise awareness. Because awareness of something is the first step. Once you become aware of your thoughts, as opposed to controlled by your thoughts, you can work to change them. 

This can be a HARD habit to break. A lifetime of being harsh on yourself is a lot. But recognizing that it is NOT serving you, and taking baby steps here and there towards more self compassion and self kindness really goes a long way. 

If you have trouble talking to yourself kindly, of encouraging yourself.. Consider two things to try on for size. 

ONE - talk to yourself as you would a best friend who needs support. I bet you’d be kind and supportive as HELL to a friend. Or

TWO - speak to yourself as if you are a little child, maybe it’s the little YOU. I love a good younger self talk…

What would you say to either when they’re being harsh on themselves.. Or saying they can’t or they’re not good enough. 

YOU WOULD SAY..

You are good enough.. You can do this little one, you can do hard things, you’ve got this.
Now you can say YOU - or you can say I - it really is about finding what works.

So if you’ve got a goal in mind, maybe it’s nutrition, maybe it’s about eating healthier, maybe it’s a project, maybe it’s about starting a project… You can consider saying to yourself… 

You’ve got this. You can do the things. YOU deserve to feel good. Yes I know you’ve been harsh on yourself before, I know there’s been disappointments, but that’s okay. Because you are strong. And today’s a new day. You can do this. I can do this. 

If you want to borrow one of my favourite affirmations when times get overwhelming. Say to yourself. 

I can. And I will.

I can. And I will. 
I can. And I will. 

How do you speak to yourself is the first question, it’s part of the mind pillar, and it’s just to get the ball rolling to become aware of this factor. Because it’s part of our days that have a way bigger impact than we might realize. Our self talk can influence a thousand micro decisions each and every day, and we need to bring it’s power to the light in order to level up. 

Alright - next question..

Are you doing things to ground and calm your system daily? 

This one’s about nervous system support, like I mentioned in the beginning. 

We live in a world of CONSTANT stimulus. We have work, we have traffic, we have family responsibilities but in 2024 we have so MUCH MORE stimulus than way back when because we have our PHONES.
Email notifications

Social Media

News alerts

Podcasts

We have consistent stimulus. And all of this stimulus can put our body in a state of fight or flight more often than we might think. 

And if our body, and our nervous system is BUZZING all day long, our BODY feels stressed, and like I said in the beginning, this can work against any good-intended thoughts.

So that’s where this question comes into play. In today’s world, it is essential to do things regularly that help calm your system down, that help SIGNAL to your body that you are safe, there is no DANGER around. Because unfortunetly - our body can react to a small problem like an annoying angry work email in the same way as being faced with a lion. 

Our biology hasn’t caught up to the fact that there is, generally, no REAL danger in our daily lives, so it chemically reacts to most STRESSORS in our life in the same way, as if it’s real danger and that makes us feel unsafe.

It is VERY hard to feel good when you’re body feels unsafe multiple times a day. 

So that is why we have to be conscious of the fact that our body might be perceiving stress more often than we might think, and then  take steps to CALM DOWN throughout the day.

This can be done in so many different ways. 

It can be done through breath, and different breathing techniques. We’ve talked about a lot of them on this show, the 4-7-8 breath and box breathing.

This can also be done through touch. And I’ll walk you through an example. Do this in private unless you want some extra attention. 

Take your hand, and place it under your shirt and on to your bare chest. Breathe into that hand. And as you’re taking a few slow breaths in and out, become aware of how your hand feels touching your chest, and then consider how your chest feels being touched by your hand. Stay here for a few moments or as long as you’d like. 

This helps get you present, gets you grounded and can can calm your system down. 

When your body is calm, your body feels good, and it’s an easy way into your thoughts feeling that calm and crafting positive, affirming thoughts. It’s the other part of the equation when it comes to mindset effecitlvey working. 

So as you ask yourself this question, are you doing things to ground and calm your system daily - consider if you could take a one or two more breaks throughout the day to calm the body. It doesn’t have to be long. 

Recognizing how much your body has to process on the daily, how much your nervous system is processing as it engages with your world and all of the things the world throws at it, it really is a form of medicine to take the time to recenter and calm…

Alright, the third and final question I’m going to ask you today..  

Are you eating in a way that’s supporting your goals?

This is where we have that honest talk about how you’re nourishing your body. 

How we eat, programs our body. It is incredibly powerful, and every meal we eat  has the power to make us stronger, or make us weaker. 

And the thing is - we know that it’s important to eat healthy, but in today’s world - we have to work against the current in order to eat for optimal health. And this is because

-junk food and fast food is what gets advertised around the clock 

--ultraprocessed food is cheaper-

-ultraprocssed food is typically high in fat and high in sugar, and we are biologically WIRED to want and crave these foods because way back when, in caveman days, these foods were NOT around often and would keep us alive

- and another less talked about factor is that all of this crap food that’s highly cheap and accessible is literally altering our microbiomes for the worse, but also in a way that makes us CRAVE more of these food to feed the bad bacteria that thrive on them

And lastly - healthy food, typically is MORE expensive. 

So when we’re talking about nutrition. I know it can feel like CRAP. It is NOT your fault that you want or crave the bad foods. 

But like I said with the self talk. Awareness is a KEY first step. 

Once we are AWARE that there are forces working against us on multiple levels when it comes to food and proper nutrition, we can feel more equipped take the steps forward that help us. 

So even though I KNOW it’s difficult, the question is the same - are you eating in a way that’s supporting your goals ?

Maybe your goal is more energy, less pain, weight loss.. At each meal you eat, knowing that end goal, are you eating in a way that’s serving that goal.

And if you’re not.. Maybe consider why… is it…

-that cravings always get the better of you?

-that you don’t have the support in your circle to keep on top of healthy habits

-is it that you’re always tired so your hunger hormones always feel out of wack

-is it that you don’t know where to start and the information out there is overwhelming so you’re stuck in decision paralysis?

-OR.. Is it maybe back to the mind question, and that you don’t believe you can stick with new changes so why even try? 

Nutrition is such a personal, nuanced, and multifactorial subject. If it does feel overwhelming, there is support out there. I work with people and will be opening up some spots in my practice if that’s of interest to you, if you’re not part of my email list, I’ll put the opt-in link in the  shownotes. 

But beyond that.. There’s some foundational things you can do to help kick start things. And this is what I’d recommend. 
For one week, I would cut out all refined sugars and flours - this will be tough the first couple days because of cravings, BUT it actually will help REDUCE cravings overall so stick with it. 

Next, have a HUGE glass of water with a ¼ tsp. Celtic or himalayan salt upon waking, this will help give your energy and digestive system a boost first thing.

And then have 30g of protein at your first meal. This can be protein from the night before, eggs or just add a protein shake to your current breakfast. Protein loading your day is a spectacular way to reduce cravings and overeating later on in the day. 

Those three things alone, can make a big impact. And beyond that, adding as many NON STARCHY veggies to your lunch and dinner would be the next and last thing I’d throw in. Non starchy veggies being things like leafy greens, spinach, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower. STARCHY veggies would be things like potatoes. Try to limit starches - potato or things like rice or pasta (but not white flour pasta) to 1-2 servings per day max. 

THIS all alone can make a big impact. But not that you were looking for specifics. This question.. 

Are you eating in a way that supports your goals?

Is really for you just to consider. If it’s helpful, as you decide what you’re going to eat.. Frame that question first - what can I eat that will support my goals. 

Change is hard, and it can be really easy to fall back into that comfort zone. But be patient with yourself. And always know that you deserve to feel good, and proper nutrition is SUCH a great way to do that. 

—

That sound means it’s time for today’s feel good thing, which are little weird things we spot light each week so we can train our brains to start seeking out the good more often, becaus they are so damn good at finding the bad. 

And in honour of today’s feelgood thing, I wanted to share some of YOURS that you shared with me, which made me smile. 

So:
Sandy’s feel good thing is: the feeling you get when you close your laptop shut on Friday and know you won’t open it until Monday. That is a good one and I’m a fan of all of the memes people share on fridays about that very thing. 

Jordana’s feelgood thing is: listening to feelgooodery - which made me SO happy jordana, thank you for writing that, and a plug is always a good thing.

Kim’s feelgood thing is: walking my dogs in the woods on a sunny day, this one is my moms’ FYI - but that is a great feeling and lastly 

Mary’s feelgood thing is: sleeping through the night without having to get up to PEE. that one I compltely agree with, oh man, it’s such an annoying feeling to wake up to pee in the middle of the night, espeically that 20 minutes lying there WONDERING If you actually have to pee which in the end takes longer than just getting up and peeing. But mary yes - a pee free night really is a feel good thing.

—-----

Alright as always, if you have gotten something out of today’s show, please feel free to share it, text it to a friend who might like it or take a second to leave the show a 5 star rating or review, it realy is of help to me so I do appreciate you taking the time. 

I cannot believe we’re a year old already. And I say WE because YOU are such a part of this show, it’s the reason it’s still going and the reason we’re gaining new listeners each week. 

And I hope today’s questions didn’t make you feel like you are doing anything wrong, you are absolutely exactly where you need to be. But they’re questions worth asking of ourselves because it is SO easy to get lost in the crap that comes with being an adult. Where we hustle and beat ourselves up, and get through the days holding our breath, only to repeat it all the next day and never stop to enjoy the ride other than a couple times a year when we find time to rest. But if we take a little time to recalibrate each day, to speak softly to ourselves, to calm our system and to eat in a way that support us - when we do this, we feel just a little gooder, and when we feel good, our lives are easier to navigate. I truly believe that when we feel good, more good comes - and if no one else has told you today - you deserve to feel good. Thank you for taking the time today, and I will see you next time on feelgoodery.

And now for the legal stuff. The information provided in this podcast is for informational purpose only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please always consult with your health care provider.