System Check: What Takes Your Magic Away?

This is for the days, or times in our lives where we just feel like something's off.  Where maybe things are fine, but you just don't feel "like you" and you're not sure why. 

There can be a lot of reasons - and in today's episode, we're taking stock of one of them.  And we're narrowing in on  a visual that might help us become aware of how valuable our energy actually is . . . and who we spend that energy on. 

Another word for energy  . . is magic (which, let's be honest, is just more fun to think about). If magic is too corny a thought, you can use light, or that spark - whatever fuels the best version of yourself. 

Today - we're getting honest, and delving into what might be taking your magic away. 

We're covering: 

• breaking down the concept
• 3 examples of magic-drainers
• next steps
• today's feelgood thing 

Transcript

If you’ve been listening to this show for a little bit, you’ll know that I love a good visual - because sometimes it’s easier to wrap our heads around something that we can see. So if you’re in the mood for a little reflection today, we’re talking about your magic, or if you don’t like the concept of magic, you can make it your light or your spark, whatever floats your boat. And before you roll your eyes at the corniness or cornflake of this concept, I ask you to bear with me - because I’m going to go over why this is so important. As always, feelgoodery is recorded in front of a live studio dog, my name is Kyle Buchanan, I am so happy you’re here. Here we go. 

Hello hello hello - I hope you’re having a great day so far.  I’ve been wanting to do today’s episode for a while now, but for whatever reason haven’t. Maybe because it was never the right time, or maybe because it could be perceived as the BIGGEST cornflake episode to date. But who knows. Either way, it’s a concept that I think about a lot. And I’ve talked about it in passing in different forms on this show, but in today’s episode I really want to put the spotlight on it, and have an honest conversation between you and me. 

And this concept is our magic that we have in us. If you don’t like that word, you can use the term light, the light that you have within you, or the spark that you have within you. 

You know those days where you just feel GOOD. You FEEL like yourself, and you feel that sense of calm, or hope, or alignment. It can feel different for different people, but the point is you feel like you. And you get things done, and more good things seem to fall into place.

THOSE days are great. We want MORE of those magic days, where we feel incredible and bright. 

AND - part of cultivating MORE of those days, is bringing awareness to what can take our magic away. What can make you feel LESS like you. 

If you’d humour me. . . for the sake of today’s episode, really visualize that magic you have, or that light, or the spark that makes up you, imagine that magic as an actual thing  -  either directly in your body, in your heart, in your stomach, or if you like holding stuff… imagine holding that magic in your hands. 

And though this magic and light never leaves, and I do believe that. For the purposes of today… let’s visualize this magic as finite. You’re daily magic that can fuel your day…

When your magic is flowing, or your light is BRIGHT - you can tackle your day, you feel confident, you get things done, things get done effortlessly, you are on the ball when your  magic is bright. 

However… when your magic is drained, when you feel dim, when there’s less of that spark… on those days.. Maybe you feel more anxious, your not as productive, you feel scattered.. And you really just don’t feel like you… 

SO my question FOR YOU and me, so that we can bring a little more awareness to us both… is WHAT takes your magic away? What can cost you that magic… Where you feel less like you? 

There are a lot of things, but I’m going to give a few examples. The first one is 

Alcohol

This is actually the birthplace of this concept for me.. Because way back when, when I was using alcohol as pure escapism, and liquid confidence to get me through feeling so insecure . .  . . I would wake up with terrible hangovers. Where I was so anxious, and shameful, and just feeling like crap. It was the polar opposite of that confident guy I knew I potentially could be.. But one day I thought, when I was hungover and just essentially a shell of myself… one day I thought that a hangover feels like all of your magic is taken away. 

And if you’ve NEVER had a hangover, well DONE. But if you have - maybe you know what I’m talking about. When you feel like death warmed up, you’re filled with regret, nerves, anxiety and really you’re just in a state of fight or flight for no reason . . maybe you’d agree that it feels like that magic you normally have, is no longer there… 

Now the hangover is the extreme example.  Alcohol is a spectrum for people. Once in a while it can be great. And there is that awareness that - yeah, it’ll take some of our magic away the next day, but it’s worth it for the celebratory nature of it. It’s a personal thing and a personal decision.

But let’s say - you haven’t had your full magic for a while, you haven’t had those days where you’re feeling yourself.. And you are having a glass, or two, or three of wine a night… It might be worth taking a little break, and see how your magic charges back up. 

Now alcohol is a very obvious example for this magic concept.. At it’s core alcohol is a poison, and a poison can drain you of your lifeforce and your magic. So that’s why I started with this example. 

But there are so many other things that have the ability to cost us our daily magic.

So the next example is - you might have guessed it - social media. 

Instagram and tik tok and the facebook.. They can be great, but it doesn’t take long for us to start losing ourselves in the app. And even if we don’t compare ourselves, spending too long on those apps is draining. 

If you’re visualizing your magic as a tangible thing  . . . the longer we spend pouring ourselves into the lives of other people, it’s almost as if we’re SPENDING our magic on these apps, and before you know it, it’s been an hour of doomscrolling, and your magic feels completely depleted. 

Your days worth of drive and magic and light, all went seemingly down the drain after spending time on social media. Now you feel scattered, different and unmovated.

I’ve mentioned it before on this show, but my most productive days are the days where I don’t open instagram at all until the evening. And honestly  - sometimes  I think of this visual when it comes to strengthening my resolve not to mindlessly open the app, even for a quick second. 

I picture my days magic as this finite thing I have in my hand. And I KNOW - if I open those apps, at the very least I’m going to give SOME of my magic to that app. And some days thats fine, but the more I am aware OF THAT. the less likely I am to go on the apps when I know I need to get things done. 

The third example  is a little bit tougher.. The next example of a thing that might take your magic away are energy vampires. 

We’ve talked about this concept a little while ago, but you know those people that just have the ability to make you exhausted just by being around them. Maybe they're the ones to emotionally dump all over you, but never ask you how you’re doing? 

It could be that friend you hang out with because of history, but always tells you they always feel so much better after seeing you, yet you always feel worse but would never tell them? 

It can be very tempting to agree to see people out of people pleasing reasons - but if you have people in your life that you know - drain you, and take a bit of magic away from you every time you see them, it’s important to limit those interactions as best you can. 

Because you’re magic, in your hands - that’s special special stuff, and we need to be selective about who we give that magic too. SOMETIMES it’s okay to give it to someone in need, but it doesn’t have to be every single day. 

….

So those were three examples of things that can take your magic away. . but my gosh there are so many more.. I mean I didn’t touch on nutrition  - but of course there are things like sugar and crappy fats that can absolutely drain you, there’s also things like mold exposure, and things like parasites that can also drain some of that life force away. But I didn’t want to get into that nitty gritty today. 

I wanted to talk about the overall concept. Because sometimes it can be useful to take stock of how valuable our magic is on a given day, and how precious of a resource it is - and when we do that, it can be easier to be selective about the things that can take it away. 

Because if you’re holding your magic in your hand. And you know how valuable it is - and can determine what your day can look like…you spend that magic a little more cautiously.

On the other side of this equation of course - there are so many things we can do to charge up our magic - to help us feel more like ourselves. There’s nature, there’s exercise, there’s a good nights sleep and connecting with people that truly charge you up. Addressung MORE of those things, and limiting the magic-take-away-ers, which is the technical term, can be really useful. 

But for the purposes of this episode - I just wanted us to recognize our magic as a resource, and start to take stalk of the things in our life that might be unknowingly draining it. Because it is SO easy to go on autopilot, because we are so busy and overwhelmed.. And then before we know it, when people ask us how we’re doing… we say things like “meh” “i’m fine” “yah okay”... without giving weight as to why, or not realizing that there are actually some really SIMPLE seemingly insignificant things that are taking away a large part of our magic - like scrolling instagram when we’re bored, or having coffee with that energy vampire friend a little too often. 

—-

That sound means it’s time for today’s feelgood thing which are little weird things that make us feel good that deserve a spot in the momentary spotlight so we can train our brains to seek out the good more often, because they’re so darn good at focusing on the bad. 

Today’s feelgood thing is when you get ALL GREEN LIGHTS when you’re in a rush and are running late. Now this happens once, maybe twice in our entire lives. And if you live in Toronto the chance are even slimmer. BUT the other day, I was running late to a haircut, normally I give myself double the time google maps says because it always increases, but for my own procrastination reasons - I didn’t give myself enough time, left in a hurry. BUT.. somehow, the traffic wasn’t as busy as it should have been AND i got 3 green lights in a row. And it felt better than winning the freaking lottery, and I made it on time. And that always is a feelgood thing. 

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Alright as always, your opinion matters. A lot of new listeners are finding this show because you’re talking about it, and sharing episodes - so thank you. You’re social media posts, your 5 star ratings and your reviews DO make a difference, so thank you for taking the time and helping me, and helping new people find this feelgoodery space. 

The truth is - it’s really to underestimate ourselves, and to roll our eyes at the idea that we have any magic to begin with, or light, or that spark  - especially if we’ve been hard on ourselves for a long time. . But let me tell you, even if you don’t think you do, there is that magic there. There is that light. Because you’re here! If there hasn’t been as much magic lately, maybe take stock as to why, and take some time to charge up in whatever way works for you.  And here’s the real cornflake moment of the episode. You are magic. You have magic. Spend it wisely. Thank you for taking the time today, I hope it’s a great day ahead and I will see you next time on feelgoodery. 

And now for the legal stuff. The information provided in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please always consult with your health care provider.