Journey to Well
We are not created to do this healing journey or life alone. In fact, it was Bessle Van Der Kolk who expertly shared “healing happens in the presence of an empathic witness”. That is the heart of this podcast & my business : to witness. You can expect a plethora of conversations on nervous system regulation, breathwork, human design & astrology, cycle alignment, energy & spirituality work and so much more. We are all on a journey back home to ourselves, rediscovering our innate power within & I am thrilled to take this journey to well with you. be well xx
Journey to Well
Navigating Personal Growth with Somatic Wisdom | Alyssa Stefanson
What if you could harness the power of your unique human design to elevate your business and personal growth? Join Alyssa, 1/3 splenic authority manifestor & I, 1/3 sacral authority manifesting generator, for a riveting conversation as we share insights on human design, cycle alignment & Soma+IQ breathwork™. Discover how these tools have revolutionized our coaching methods, helping us recognize individual strengths and escape the comparison trap. We dive into the significance of the 1/3 profile and the incarnation cross, shedding light on how these elements shape our entrepreneurial paths and content strategies.
Understand the core principles that guide our coaching philosophy as we discuss the importance of addressing root wounds and nervous system imbalances. We reflect on the transformative impact of human design on manifesters and manifesting generators, emphasizing the power of the 'wait to respond' strategy and the necessity of waiting for internal downloads before taking action. Through our personal stories, we highlight the bursty energy patterns of manifesters and how these insights help us navigate the entrepreneurial landscape with greater ease and effectiveness.
Explore the delicate balance between woo-woo and science as we dive into the context of trauma, personal growth, and the pitfalls of over-identifying with identity markers. Learn from our experiences with various mentors and the exponential growth that comes from investing in oneself. Whether you're a business coach, spiritual guide, or energy healer, this episode promises to offer valuable takeaways on harnessing your unique design, addressing core issues, and empowering yourself for higher personal and professional advancement. Don't miss out on our exciting plans for future collaborations and the engaging topics we'll be exploring next!
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be well, my friend
xx Hannah
I'm so excited to record this episode. It's so fun recording podcast episodes with people that you know well and are friends with, and you and I have really gotten a chance to get to know each other quite well over the past few months. We've been working very closely together. You're actually a member of my team now. You're one of the healers on my team, which I'm so grateful and so excited for, and it's just, it's a different vibe doing podcasts when you know the person, when it doesn't feel like an interview, right.
Speaker 2:so I agree. I couldn't agree more. It's like we don't need to plan out questions and think about questions. We could just chat and it's. I think this is much more fun. They're both fun, but this is fun absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:We're hilarious because both of us we we both thought that we were recording episodes for our podcast. I thought I was fine, she thought she's recording for hers. We're like, well, you know what, let's just record one and we'll put it out on both. So yeah, great scheduling.
Speaker 2:Great scheduling for both of us why so?
Speaker 1:I was actually. We connected because I was a guest on your podcast. I guess how long ago was that? Quite a few months ago now, quite a few.
Speaker 1:I mean probably close to four or five, I would say at least yeah, and then we're both somatic breathwork practitioners and I just love the work that you're doing because you are a human design expert and a cycle alignment coach and I'm really fascinated about both of those topics. But, as you know, we can't be everything or we spread ourselves thin as coaches. It's cool to be able to work with someone who is an expert in that area, help shine the light on just certain blind spots that I even I have in business, and it's been so supportive for me learning from you and how I can actually apply human design and cycle alignment in my own business, but also, too, with our clients in our program as well. So, yeah, it's been awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's definitely been one of the things I always say. I was saying this yesterday when I was hosting an event. I said the way that I coach is using the tools that have made the biggest difference in my life, and the three biggest tools is somatic, breathwork cycle, alignment and human design, and all I can do is share my experience and what I've learned and how it's affected me, which is really funny, actually, because if you're listening and you know your human design a little bit, there's pieces of my chart that completely validate wanting to just share my own experience, like the fact that, and you too, uh, the three line cause we're both one threes in human design. So the three line is the experimenter and the learning through trial and error, and one of the gifts that you have in your profile is that's kind of your blueprint of, or your cheat sheet of, how you can share your business. If you're an entrepreneur, especially on social media, you can look at your profile and you have two different numbers, so you kind of have two different cheat sheets of how you can share your business. And one of those ways is, if you're a three line, sharing all of the trial and error and all of the experimentation that you've done and so of. I've tried so many different things and so many different modalities and worked with a few different coaches and like, read all of the books and you know, especially the mindset stuff. And then the other place in my human design chart that just pops up in my head is when we talk about our incarnation cross, which I think actually you and I talked about in the original podcast recording.
Speaker 2:So not necessarily what your incarnation cross is, but you can either have a right angle or a left angle and oh gosh, now I'm going to mess it up I think it's the right angle. If you're a right angle, it's much more your own personal journey in, like your incarnation crosses your life theme. So your life theme is much more about going through what you need to go through and then sharing that with the world, versus if you're a left angle cross, it's more like learning with the world, if that kind of makes sense. You're a little bit more, a little bit more outward focused in your experimentation process. I suppose we could word it that way. So just the fact that I'm a right and I have that three line, it's like I'm just here. I'm just here sharing whatever I know, and if it helps someone and if it benefits and resonates with someone else else, then let's go with that, and otherwise I'm not here to share things that I don't I haven't experienced in my life. I think other people can do that very well. I definitely cannot.
Speaker 1:I think the most beautiful thing about learning about human design is I mean, I'll speak personally for me it really helped me get out of that comparison trap because we're all so different and we all have different strengths. And it helps knowing not only your weaknesses and strengths but other people that you're working with um, as it's even people in your lives, like your relationships, your partners, um, your children, like understanding that we're all so different, we all have such a unique pattern. It doesn't mean that we can't like grow in those areas, but honestly, it just it helped me really realize that, like these are my strengths and I have those strengths that maybe other people have, and that's okay, but I can really utilize and focus on what I'm really good at. I can't be everything and like as a manifester, jess, and you've really helped me with this is like I go in bursts, like I have so much energy and I get so much done in such a short period of time and I'll go like morning to night and and then all of a sudden I'm done. Yeah, I can't do any more. I just go through these huge bursts of energy.
Speaker 1:And you know, in the past, before even really learning about my human design. I didn't know like that. That was part of it, that was part of being a manifester, and I would compare myself to other people who had just very consistent energy and I just I'm, that's not me. I don't have that. And another piece, too, that was super helpful was learning how important it is for me to inform. I'm very and it's something I'm still learning. I'm so independent, um, I work really well on my own, but I can have a habit of like not keeping other people in the loop, whether it's team workers or even if it's like partners in my life or like friends, like not keeping up with what I'm doing, yeah, not really really realizing, like why is that important? Like why do I need to do that, right?
Speaker 2:So I'm the same way it. Also, you must be a single definition, and I can't remember if you are or not, I'll have to look it up but single definitions are really independent as well. But for manifestors and manifesting generators, it's super important to be able, or remind yourself, to inform, because we go like so fast that we might forget to actually inform the people around us.
Speaker 1:And it helps so much with marketing too, like learning how to actually apply my design. When it comes to marketing, like informing my um, like my followers and like my clients too, I'm like what I'm working on and what's coming up and what they can expect, so that's been really helpful as well. And do you want to speak to? Like the initiating piece? When it comes to manifestors, do manifesting generators have the same where, like they should initiate, or do you want to speak to that?
Speaker 2:what's the difference?
Speaker 2:between manifestors and manifesting generators yeah, so we have the five energy types.
Speaker 2:So manifesting generators are a hybrid between manifester and generator and honestly, it's so funny because you hear some people talk about it and they're like, yeah, they're a little bit more like generators though.
Speaker 2:And then you hear some people talk about it. It's're like, yeah, they're a little bit more like generators though. And then you hear some people talk about it and it's like it depends other things in your chart if you're more manifest or more generator. And then my favorite way to say is that we are like our own type, but there are similarities between a manifestor and a generator. But manifestors are the only energy type that can initiate. So one of the similarities between MGs and generators is that our strategy is still wait to respond. And then the caveat with manifesting generators is wait to respond, then inform, then take action. Once again, let's inform, but with the MGs I always say like I think. Honestly, I think one of the things that throws the most people off or throws people the most off is when I share like, okay, your strategy is wait to respond, or wait a lunar cycle, or wait for the invitation, because that word wait is so abrasive to a lot of people and like we immediately like are oh so I have to just sit on my butt and just like, literally wait and like I'm not allowed to do anything. And that's totally not the case, and I think that's where we also get a little bit confused with oh well, manifestors are the only ones that don't have to wait, so they must just be the ones that are doing stuff all the time. But it's not that we have to wait and sit on our butt and just not do anything. It's like, especially with the wait to respond, it's really just giving yourself that anything. It's like, especially with the wait to respond, it's really just giving yourself that pause. It's like I think that we should just say pause and then respond, or pause and wait, like pause for the invitation or pause for the response, because manifestors too, they, in my opinion, they still have to wait. Their waiting is just not outward focused, their waiting is internally focused. So I was just speaking on, I think, a podcast about this.
Speaker 2:That manifestors strategy is wait for the download and then initiate. So you're, you have to have something in your mind, something in your thought process that you want to call into the world, and a lot of times that comes in your like pause periods where you're saying like I have bursts and then I'm like dead to the world, like don't talk to me, just leave me alone. That's when your downloads come as a manifestor and almost like waiting quote for that download and then initiating so I don't know. I mean, if I were to rewrite it, I would say wait for the download for manifestors, but but the word wait like don't let that, don't let that make you nervous or don't let that hold you back from continuing to do things, especially again, like I feel like a lot of our listeners are entrepreneurs and so when I talk to my projector clients, which their strategy is wait for the invitation, they're like, oh, so I can't do anything until I get invited.
Speaker 2:Like what, what am I supposed to do then? And especially if you're like a social media person, you can still be putting out content. Your invitation, first of all, could come in. I'm going to put out this reel, whatever right, I'm going to put out this content. I'm going to put out this reel about something that I find really interesting, and then the invitation could come in the form of a comment or someone asking you like hey, what do you mean by this or what was your experience with this, and asking you like that's your invitation to talk to that person. Another idea with projector clients is see what content is most engaged with, and that's your invitation to post more of that content and post more on that topic, because your, your audience, is inviting you to share more. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and it's so helpful to to like you just explaining this, because there's so much information out there, like there's not a lack of information on human design. You can go look up and read all information for free, but it's how we actually apply it and that is like how, like why working with a coach can be so powerful and so beneficial. Can you like walk me through so, if someone were to come to you and they're wanting to use their human design in business like they're wanting to learn how to actually like incorporate using their design to help them make more money, to help them get more clients, to whatever it is what would be the process that you actually take them through to actually be able to actually apply what they're learning about, to see a different lives in their business.
Speaker 2:That's such a good question and it's such a good point Like there's nothing that I'm going to tell you, that you don't, that you couldn't learn about your human design elsewhere. And I feel like, especially with the one lines, which the one line if you, if you have a one in your profile, it's like the researcher. So one of my latest clients, she has a one in her profile, so that's why I'm laughing. But in general, we can get so stuck in the information gathering stage and learning and, like you and I, with the somatic background is like it's all up here in your head. And we can get very stuck in our heads and like, oh, if I just learn enough about human design, then I'll just figure it all out. So I'll just keep watching all of the YouTube videos and listening to the podcasts and reading the books. And there's so much benefit in that, of course, especially again as we both have the one line in our profiles. But what we're missing is the embodiment, the actual application, like you said, the application of okay, how can I now take this information, use it in my life? And then we can get into neuropsychology and like neurobiology of forming neural pathways. It's not just as easy as being like oh, now I know I'm a one three profile, so now I know all the time I need to be posting about what I learned, what I'm an expert on, or my failures and how I learned what I need to do better, in that, like we can't just change things on the on the on a dime. We've we have formed so many neural pathways. So one of the most important things to me working with my clients is taking very small bites of human design and incorporating it into your life. So I have a lot of just conversational Zoom meetings. We meet virtually so we'll have conversations about like this is what I'm really struggling with right now and as they're talking, I'm looking and thinking about their chart and like how maybe maybe what you're struggling with or what you're going through applies to your human design. So I'm going to give you an example, because I feel like that's very vague. Going back to the beginning of your, something that you said about human design was like it gave me this permission slip to just kind of be who I am and lean into my strengths.
Speaker 2:Oftentimes, when we're in that researcher gathering mode which we're like bombarded with information all the time, and good marketing strategy is to tell you this will change your life and this will solve all of your problems. So most of the marketing strategies that we hear, it's like here's the answer Morning routine, right Like this is the. This is the correct morning routine for you to be more productive during your day, avoid burnout I don't know gain 10 new clients, like whatever the marketing strategy is. And so you read that and you start trying to incorporate it and it's like very structured and you're like, okay, I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this every single morning. And it turns into like an hour long morning routine and you're like, okay, I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this every single morning.
Speaker 2:And it turns into like an hour long morning routine and you're wondering why you can't stay on top of it and why you can't stay consistent in that.
Speaker 2:Maybe you have a right facing arrow of environment and awareness and maybe you're just not meant to be someone that has a very, very structured morning routine that looks the same every time.
Speaker 2:And so what we do in our minds is we tell ourselves that something's wrong with us, that we're not able to be consistent, that we're not able to follow through, and so then we don't want to do the morning routine, and then you know we go down the whole like shame and guilt cycle. So learning, like even just having that conversation and seeing how that, how your human design, actually plays into everything that you've already learned and how you can finagle it to best support you, that's one I mean that was a very long-winded answer, but that's one way that coaching working with a coach that is versed in human design can really be supportive for you and your business. So you're doing things in alignment with who you really are, versus trying to force what works for someone else and I'm sure that it does really actually work for someone else, but that doesn't mean that it's going to work for you.
Speaker 1:You have such an incredible way of explaining all the pieces of human design that I actually haven't heard other people explain in the way that you do, and you're very engaging and like just working with you. It's helped me. It's actually helped me become a lot more excited about like implementing these things and paying attention to them, because it really is the way that we, that we are able to teach it and to get it across to another person.
Speaker 1:And you're just really engaging and you're really good at articulating all of these pieces of human design. It's just yeah, it's because it can be very overwhelming and very complicated and I I've heard many people in the space when they explain it. It just it. It's so much information, information overload, like you said, that you don't even know what to do with it. But I love how you just take like bite-sized pieces or like doing an audit of your life. What part, like what areas of your life you know? Is it your health? Is it your finances? Is it business? Is it your relationships? Like, what areas are you not feeling full in? And like look like, look at those areas and how can we see? Maybe is it like the comparison trap and maybe that's not your strength and you need to recognize your strength, or is it something that maybe you just aren't utilizing your design in a proper way in that area, right?
Speaker 2:So yeah, absolutely. And and human design can be so complicated and truly, we do not need to know everything all at once. And some people want to know everything, but then what happens is we do get that information overload and we can't incorporate them and we can't mesh them together anyway our human design and our life. So, taking just these little pieces and seeing you know, I always give my clients homework I guess it's the teacher in me I'm always like, okay, this is what I want you to focus on this week, just one thing, because we're not going to change everything. And the other thing that you said was, or that made me think of this, is some coaches and I think it's beautiful Some coaches will focus on one thing and so they'll say, like, let's just talk about like diet, uh, nutritionists or fitness people, right, like I'm going to help you lose 20 pounds, and that's the entire focus is we're just focusing on like working out and diet and that's how you're going to lose the 20 pounds.
Speaker 2:And one thing that I really love about human design and cycle alignment is it almost doesn't matter what we're talking about.
Speaker 2:Of course we're going to tailor it towards what you're walking through and what's really important to you, but what we're doing is we're building a foundation for the way that we approach life, and same with you with somatic work Like we can talk about that in a second I want to but we're building the foundation rather than focusing on one room in the house and fixing that up and trying to make that look all beautiful and totally ignoring this Crumbly foundation beneath us of a house.
Speaker 2:So what we do with cycle alignment, so Somatic work, human design, all of it is we're really focusing on the foundation, and then you believe me, we don't have to work together forever, and then you can apply that to all areas. So you might like we might start working together for business, but what you're going to learn is everything that you're learning also applies to relationships and lifestyle and nutrition and like the way that you're not your diet but like you know, like you're eating habits, and there's so many different areas that are going to be enhanced, even if we're just talking about business the whole time that we work together.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent. It's all connected and I'm not sure if you find this, but often people cause we can struggle to be vulnerable at times and it takes a while to really build that relationship with someone, with a coach, and often feel safer when we focus on kind of more of like the surface level problems of our lives, coach, and it's like focusing on, well, I want to make more money or I really want to focus on like growing my business, being more confident, um, with content creation, with marketing. But underneath it all is often like deeper layers of like other areas that we're struggling with and it's all interconnected and that usually comes up when we're starting to work with people. As we start to build that relationship and that connection, it's like these deeper roots come up and I like the saying all roads lead to Rome and I always say it all comes back to to like that A lot of it, just these, these, these core wounds that we have that we actually start to uncover.
Speaker 1:And that's why I think it's really powerful that you integrate so many pieces that you do have like working with your human design and the unique blueprint that you came in to this world with, because that's so important and we all have a unique blueprint that we came into this world with and to be able to honor that and to recognize that and to be so proud of it.
Speaker 1:And then also working with your cycle as a woman and your hormones because we are not men and learning how to reconnect with our bodies in that way. But also this other huge piece, that somatic piece of like working with our nervous system and our core wounds, because it all comes back to that as well right, like our inner child is really running the show in so many different areas of life. I think it's so beautiful that you have such a holistic approach to business and to life coaching, because I think that's so needed, because so often there's many coaches out there that will really just focus on, say, business. That comes to strategy and say they have their clients come to them and they're like you know what?
Speaker 1:um help me with, you know the strategy part of my, the content creation, the tech side of things, but still their clients aren't moving forward because they're not actually getting to the root. There's so much underneath it. So maybe it's because they're working against their human design. Not so, maybe it's because they're working against their human design, not with them.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's because they're working against their cycle, not with it, and maybe it's because their inner child is completely running the show and hijacking their nervous system, like there's so many layers underneath it, underneath that surface level of what we come to coaches for often and I think we both have experienced that, like working with coaches. We should even share our experiences, because I think it's really important. You know, we talk about, like the importance of like working with a coach and how valuable it is to not even just the accountability piece, but also being able to be a mirror to us, and how many things that might be really difficult for us to see on our own Cause. That is what a good coach is, and we often talk about this, but I think often we don't talk enough about how we also still need coaches, like every, every good coach should still be working with a coach, yeah, so, yeah, what has been your experience with coaching?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that's that's the reason that I hired you. I remember saying that because I am someone that loves to learn and do a lot of research, and so I know all of the mindset tools. I know 80% because you don't know everything 80% of, like, what I should be doing to build my business and the action steps that I should be taking every day. And and like I knew so much. And I've worked with coaches. I've worked with coaches that are very I think I actually explained it to you on our connection call but I've worked with coaches that are very like masculine, so, uh, masculine energy, so like not like masculine like in looks, but very masculine energy, so like very focused on the structure and the mindset. And this is what you need to be doing every day. You need it's a numbers game, right? So you need to be reaching out to 10 people, because then three are going to respond and three might be warm leads and then one might eventually trickle down into your actual client and like they have all of the structure there and all of the marketing experience. And then, on the other side, I've worked with coaches that are all feminine, which is like just settle into your cycle and like rest, if you need a rest, and you know everything is just kind of going to flow, um, or everything kind of just does flow to you and there's so many beautiful um images and so much beautiful information and both. But you had both and I was like I need, I need both because I don't. I don't just need the masculine approach and I don't just need the feminine approach. That's how I word it in my mind. But first of all, we do all need accountability and I think that's the biggest thing that you get when you're working with a coach is it's someone in your face every week saying you know what, what you've been doing, what's going on, how are you doing?
Speaker 2:But going back to the somatic side of it, um, I think I don't think I know that that is the root wound that holds a lot of us back and we don't talk about it because we don't know, we don't understand that it's actually our nervous system, that, or that inner child, something is, something's going on there and that is kind of that anchor, right, that's like pulling you down and holding you back, and not that that anchor needs to be chopped off, it actually needs to be befriended and, like one of the things that I use in my business is silencing the inner critic. But I, one of the things that I use in my business is silencing the inner critic, but I think I told you I'm like I don't even really want to call it silencing the inner critic, because it's more befriending the inner critic, befriending all of these parts of us and learning what they're saying, because they have so much wisdom and they have so much to say. But I can't do that by myself. Like there's been so much that you have helped me with in, in, in learning that it really is your nervous system.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I mean, I I knew it but I didn't know it in my body until we worked together like logically and again that goes back to work with a coach, because we can logically know so much but we very seldom embody it on on a somatic level or on an embodied level. Yeah, it's so cool, I mean so cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it, every single one of us, like myself included, even though I do this work, I teach this work, I know how to walk people through it, it's still hard to see my own blind spots, like, and we're all human. And, yeah, it's just so helpful to have that reflection back at you through a mentor, through a coach, whoever it is that you're working with. And even for me it's funny because, like, even in my business, just the ways that we unconsciously self-sabotage and we don't even realize that we're doing it, like procrastination, for an example, and just like procrastinating in little ways. And I've been working with a coach as well and one of the things that so he's been really like pushing me forward and getting me to do like more.
Speaker 1:I'm actually having my first masterclass this week and I've never even done one before, but he was pushing me to do that. And then I'm like, okay, well, I'll schedule it for three weeks. And he's like, no, how about this weekend and next weekend? And I'm like, oh my God. And then, all of a sudden, when he said that it was like these fears came up, these beliefs came up, and then I was able to actually look at it, because sometimes we don't realize why, and no matter how far you are in this industry, we actually all have the same fears, and that's what I learned through him as well, because he was even telling me he's like Alyssa I work with millionaires who are making like seven figures in their coaching business and they all have the same fears and the same struggles. So, and that was really helpful, cause it's like that fear of like what if no one comes to my masterclass?
Speaker 1:And it's so ridiculous because that's something that I work with with my clients, because we all have the same fear and I'm like it doesn't matter if no one shows up, you still do. Right, you're going to and you're going to be able to use that as um a freebie to give away for people If they're wanting to, you know, have an experience of working with you before booking a call. Maybe they want to see what your coaching style is like. They can watch that masterclass. And it's so funny that, like, I say these things but then I myself don't practice them right. Like we all need coaches. It doesn't matter how far you are at. It's hard to see our own blind spots and when we actually have someone guiding us and walking us through the process, that is an opportunity for us to really face these all wounds and beliefs that we all have.
Speaker 1:No matter how long we've been on the journey, we reach certain landmarks. That's the way that I like to explain it. So there's not like we're levels. There's not levels where I'm better than, um or less than, but we do reach certain landmarks on our journey where we move through things a lot quicker.
Speaker 1:So five years ago on this path, I would have been crippled, like I do a masterclass, maybe a year from now, like, um, I would have been crippled. And now it's like doing this work, this deep work that I've been doing, and learning how to actually work with my human design and my cycle, like incorporating all of these things into my life, work with my human design and my cycle, like incorporating all of these things into my life, I move through things a lot quicker than I used to. So yeah, of course, wounds still come up, blocks still come up for us, but we move through them a lot quicker because we're a lot more resilient and we're also a lot more willing to actually work through them, because we've been on this path for a while. So, yeah, that's the way that I like to explain it, and you're also able to voice your fears.
Speaker 2:So fears take up so much real estate when they're not brought into the light, and I always use the analogy. It's like if you hear like something rustling when it's pitch blackout and you think it's like this big fucking, like moose or something, or bear that's going to come. I don't know why I said moose, but it's going to be like a bear, right?
Speaker 2:Well, actually I wouldn't want to see a moose in person either in the pitch black but you think it's this huge bear and then you flick on the light or you turn on your phone flashlight and you realize that it's this little mouse. And so having that space and it's so different than bringing it up to your friend because your friend is just going to take your side. They're probably not gonna challenge you and, depending on what kind of friend it is like I don't have friends that are also entrepreneurs, so having someone that's able to be like I went through the exact same thing. This is what I learned. This is how you can, or this is how you can do it, or you know, you have actually constructive feedback.
Speaker 2:There's benefits to talking to our friends too, but like having that constructive feedback and someone that's going to challenge you, and just that unbiased space of being able to voice that fear and vocalize, this is what I'm walking through Oftentimes. I don't know how it is for everyone else, but oftentimes, when I am very stressed or fearful or that inner critic is coming up in me, oftentimes I just need to speak it out loud and like be with it for a moment and then it's not. It's not a big deal anymore, versus if it stays in my head crippled, just like you know. Like crippled, I would not be able to move forward 100%.
Speaker 1:We're only as sick as our secrets and these things that we're so scared to look at because we think that we're alone in.
Speaker 1:Like this, whatever it is, this like shame, this like part of ourselves that we don't want to look at, that feels inferior.
Speaker 1:We think we're alone in it and then when we actually shine a light on it and just like acknowledge it and look at it, we realize so many people share the same fear and the same insecurity and the same like wounding, and then we realize it's actually not that big of a deal, like sometimes we just need to express it and, yeah, just suppressing that in our bodies and that resistance to it is actually causing us more suffering than actually just acknowledging and looking at it. One thing I want to ask too and I want to touch on I think this is so important is, I mean, as we work with our clients too, you get to recognize their patterns, and, being a somatic practitioner and someone who focuses on helping people heal their trauma and having to, you know, having a lot of compassion in this space, one thing I also have to be very careful of and this is where the father energy comes in, because it's it's really important to both have both the mother and the father. Energy, the masculine, feminine is not to use our trauma as an excuse, right, and it comes back to two. It's like in areas of like, using our cycle or human design. So how are we careful not to use it as an excuse not to progress or move forward in life?
Speaker 2:I love that question. I am going to make a reel out of this. Um, oh my gosh. So I love that question because, especially if we're looking at at least on my Instagram feed if I'm looking at my cycle people and like the most popular thing that we see is like shitting on the luteal phase, right, and the menstrual phase, and like the luteal phase you're just really emotional and you have no um, you have a very low capacity, so like you can't do anything. And then the menstrual phase, when you're actually bleeding, like you just need to sleep all day and you can't do anything.
Speaker 2:And one of the things, one of the things that I love to talk about, is the gifts that we have in each phase, because we do have a gift, we have multiple gifts in each phase and in your human design, you have so many gifts and you're right. We can get very stuck in same with astrology oh, I'm just a Leo, so I'm this way. Or oh, I'm just a you know Aquarius, so whatever. Like I don't have to fix any of my flaws or anything like that. So one of the most important things to mention in every human design call I always say I'm not telling you who you are. I'm not putting you in a box and these tools are not meant to put you in a box. They're actually just here to illuminate different things that maybe you haven't thought about. Maybe you haven a box. They're actually just here to illuminate different things that maybe you haven't thought about, maybe you haven't realized, and then you get to choose what you feel like really aligns with you, what doesn't align with you. And when we're talking about trauma, a lot of times sometimes we learn things about our human design and we're like that's definitely not true and it might be a conditioning that we've lived through. Especially projectors are lovely projectors. It might be some conditioning that we lived through where we feel that like abrasion and we're like uh no, that's not me, but none of these tools are created to be a crutch or created to to be like oh yeah, this is just. This is just who I am.
Speaker 2:I also think probably that's one of the reasons I chose human design to like deep dive into versus astrology is because, hmm, how can I explain this? I guess we don't, I guess I haven't really and maybe I'll have to do some research on this I haven't really come across people that like hide behind their human design and they're like oh, I'm just a manifesting generator. I like like everything that I've learned, and probably it's because this is the way I teach. It is very constructive and it doesn't like present with the opportunity to create excuses in your life. I don't know, maybe, maybe not, I guess I just don't think about it that way. Do you have any thoughts on this? To answer your own question.
Speaker 1:I agree that this is such a good question because you see it often in this space and it's something that I have to be so careful with too where it's like, like I said, with holding space for people's trauma, making sure that we're not using it as an excuse not to move forward or to take action in life. Yes, there's periods of where we need to go inward and do the deep inner work, but that doesn't mean that we're not doing anything Like doing the inner work is it's hard and it's difficult, but we still need to take action in life and we still need to make forward, and a big piece of somatic work is we heal when we start to take action in life, stepping towards our purpose, stepping towards the relationships we desire.
Speaker 1:Like that's when our wounds come up and it gives us a chance to actually heal them. We don't heal in isolation. I often say, but speaking to and this is one thing that I see often actually drives me crazy is astrology. Like, every time that there is an eclipse, people are like, oh, there's a eclipse, this is what we're all going to experience. It's like no, it every single person is affected differently depending on, like, what's happening in their chart at that time. Yeah, like that eclipse is affecting them, so it's not everyone's going through. This Mercury grade isn't affecting everybody in this way.
Speaker 1:Like it's just very generic and it's often used as an excuse.
Speaker 1:So it's something to be really careful about. These are meant to be tools that we can actually utilize, um, to move forward and, of course, maybe to be cautious of like, okay, maybe this isn't the best time to take action on this thing, but what I actually use this energy for to take action on right like that, like that's a better way to I would say look at it, yeah, but yeah, it is something that comes up and I think that's something that we as coaches have to be cautious of working with our clients. And we get to, we get to know their patterns after you work with them for a while, which is the benefit of working with a coach, because it can take a while to recognize whether someone needs more of, like that stern father energy and needs maybe more of that structure, or if they need more of that soft feminine energy, nurturing energy, of being more compassionate um towards themselves, and I do find it's often the opposite of what we think that we need or want so.
Speaker 1:I have people who come to me who'll be like you know, like I really need. I'm too hard on myself. I need more compassion, I need to be much more gentle on myself and after working with them for a while, you can soon recognize that they actually do need more discipline and structure in their lives. And another really interesting thing that I need to talk about, because I think this is one of the most important things to mention to people this changed my life.
Speaker 1:Often we think that if we're really critical on ourselves and really hard on ourselves, that we don't have an ego. And what I've learned in recovery is the ego goes both ways. The ego is either super inflated or super deflated. The thing said it's better than or less than, but it's still obsessed with itself. So if you are very hypercritical of yourself and you're really hard on yourself, that's still an obsession with self. That's still that actually needs to be deflated, and many people don't want to hear that. But it doesn't mean that you're looking at yourself in a harsh way. It just means shining a light on, maybe the areas that you actually do need to look at. Ego deflation isn't meant to be painful. It's actually a very humbling, beautiful experience and it helps you feel more connected to yourself and others and more forgiving of yourself and others. And that's a big piece that I think many people, when they come to me, they think that like they're no, I'm too hard on myself, like I need actually a much more gentle approach, and it usually is actually very similar approaches, I would say, because the ego goes both ways.
Speaker 1:It's either inflated or deflated, and when we actually really work to shine a light on that and really start to get outside of ourselves that obsession with self, that is when we actually start to find like true healing is being able to focus on other rather than so much on ourselves. And many people think that focusing that they do focus so much on helping others, but it's often looking at okay, well, what is the underlying issue of why we're doing that? So it's like to be a people pleaser or a caretaker. Why are you doing it? Because you're trying to get often your needs met, being able to meet those needs on your own, and it all comes back to that inner child.
Speaker 1:So these, these topics are so nuanced, but I love to look at it because, yeah, it's something that we as coaches, as we start to work with our clients, we're able to really recognize these patterns in them and we're able to really shine a light on them. You're providing them with like actual structure and like a healthy push to move forward, so that we're not getting wrapped up in like using any of these things our past traumas or times of our cycle, or our human design or our astrology to use it as an excuse to not grow, because it doesn't matter if you're weak in a certain area, you can still grow in that area, right?
Speaker 2:So I think that's such an interesting topic because we are kind of in a stage in the world where talking about our trauma is trendy now, like oh, this was a trigger for me, like everyone says that now, even like kids. Kids say like oh, I was triggered, and so we talk about so much of it. But what frustrates me sometimes with some people is I feel like we hide behind that Now we're talking about it, which is huge because a while years ago, like we couldn't even talk, a lot of us maybe didn't even recognize our trauma or it wasn't validated, and so now I think to some extent it's being validated and we're able to share like this was very triggering for me, or this you know, I have a mommy wound, I have the daddy wound, whatever it is, and it's very trendy, but we like stop there. It is and it's very trendy, but we like stop there At least that's my experience is a lot of times and again it's going back to that like hiding behind and using it as an excuse.
Speaker 2:So what, what is your answer to? How can we stop? I mean just holding that mindset, like you said, of like it's not, it's not an excuse to not grow, but what do you have any other thoughts on how we can continue, like not just stop there and recognize the trauma, but now how am I going to? I think some people live their whole lives in I don't even know what the like verbiage would be there, but they live their whole lives in trauma, re reflecting on their trauma but never actually addressing it to heal it. They just need everyone to know all of the trauma that they went through.
Speaker 1:Totally. It's an over-identification with their trauma. I knew that was the term. Everything that we were talking about. It really comes over to over-identifying over-identifying with my trauma, over-identifying with my astrology signs term. Everything that we're talking about really comes over to over identifying, over identifying with my trauma, over identifying with my astrology signs, over identifying with my human design and, um, I mean, these topics are so deeply nuanced and I think that's the really beautiful thing that we're able to do is to see the nuance in the gray area in all of these even though in these, like, we use these tools right, we work in this field, but we're able to see kind of the shadow aspects of it as well, which is really important.
Speaker 1:But it all comes back to that over-identification with your trauma, like, do you actually want to heal and release it, or are you attached to the story? And because sometimes we can get stuck in the pity party and it all comes back to like a personal responsibility to want to actually heal. So we still, of course, want to validate our experiences. That inner child needs to be validated and they need to express their experience. But if we keep clinging to that story and keep identifying with it, we have to ask ourselves, like, am I actually willing to let this go? And that's something that comes up often when I get really deep into it with my clients, when we're doing this deep work, I often will ask them if some people that I've worked with have gone through like horrible things that you couldn't even imagine. And when we're actually doing some of this deep, somatic work, I will ask them who are you without this? Are you willing to let this go? And that is like a huge question for so many people and it's such an aha moment because many of them realize, whoa, I didn't realize that I don't want to let this go. To be a desire to let it go Like you have, there has to be a willingness to no longer identify with that. So it's like if you can actually go back to processing and releasing that trauma and it not having a hold over you so that you can't, you're not able to really use it as an excuse in your life as to like why you might inhabit certain behaviors or even isolate.
Speaker 1:For me, I isolated for so long so I needed to stop using that as an excuse of like I went through so much like horrific trauma and that is why I isolate, like I had to be willing to let go of that and actually stop isolating and take the steps forward to actually build healthy relationships. So that's what I would say. It all comes back to getting out of our heads and not overanalyzing our experiences, because so often we just get too trapped in the story of it and we keep replaying the story and we're rehashing our past and we're re-traumatizing ourselves, because then we get addicted to the stress hormones that are released when we're rehashing our past. We get addicted to it. We get addicted to the stories, we get addicted to the drama. So we have to be willing to let that go and actually fully go into our bodies and process it and release it and start to actually move forward and rebuild a new life, a new identity. Like you, trauma is not a death sentence. It's not a life sentence. You actually can heal and move forward.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I love that perspective and that reminder that you give about trauma, because I do think that we can get very stuck in oh this is just the way that I'm always going to be, or this is the way that life is just going to be forever. And it's not like one of my favorite quotes and I have this written on a on a wall for a long time and it's so simple. It just says you are not a tree move. And whenever I feel very stuck in indecision and again that inner critic in you know, maybe stuck in, like rehashing some sort of trauma situation that I went through, traumatic experience, reminding myself that, like you, you hold so much power and that's truly why I love the tools that I use is they're all reminders of how much power that we hold.
Speaker 2:And you truly are the only one that can change your life, no matter what it is, no matter what we're talking about, whether it's making more money or healing trauma patterns, or breaking generational ties or curses or whatever you want to call it. You're the only one. You're the one that's going to save you. Save you like we need to be saved, right, but you're the only one. You're the one that's gonna save you. Save you like we need to be saved right, but but you're. You're the only one, you're the one. You're not a tree move. You can move.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that, and from a higher kind of perspective, and a belief that I personally have. Not everyone shares this belief, but I do believe that we chose our love before we incarnated here. Like that's more of a spiritual perspective, but it's something I truly believe in Whether that's just something that really supports me, but it is something I truly believe, that I believe that I chose my experiences before I incarnated here and that way, too, I chose to heal this. So what happened to me may not be my fault, but I can take personal responsibility for the parts of my life that I can change and that I could have controlled in that situation, and it's my responsibility to heal this going forward. So I don't keep carrying this on and passing it on generation to generation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. I believe in all of that. I think that we choose our parents. I read this thought that we reincarnate with the same. I think it's like 15 people every single lifetime, but they're all going to be different people.
Speaker 2:Soulmate, which there's so many thoughts that I have on soulmates Our soulmate is not, is not like our partner. Your soulmate could be your best friend and your soulmate could be a soulmate that like, when we say soulmate, this is one of our 15 people and it might not be someone that's in our life for our entire life, because really nobody's in our life for our entire life, like our parents are probably going to die before us and our siblings are, you know, whatever. Anyway, that's a, that's a squirrel, but so you have 15 people that you reincarnate with every lifetime and they will shift. So like, maybe your husband in one lifetime is like your dog, or your best friend in another lifetime, or somebody that you meet for a very short period of time, and they have a huge impact on your life.
Speaker 2:And the way that I this was explained to me was, um, that, yeah, like you all have different lengths of soul contracts, so it might not be someone that's in your life, like it could be someone that just made a very. So it might not be someone that's in your life, like it could be someone that just made a very in like huge impact on you, that was in your life for a year and that's one of your soulmates I think. I believe in all of it. I love all that stuff.
Speaker 1:I love it. We'll actually have to do future episodes on all of that. I know my audience loves spiritual stuff. We'll have to get into that.
Speaker 2:I'm woo-woo. Yeah, no, I love it. So one thing unless you have another way to end, which we can do, like my ending, then your ending. But one thing that I would love to know that you touched on was if you could put it in one sentence, one bullet point what is the biggest benefit of working with the coach that you have experienced? So, not like you as a coach, but you as a human choosing to work with a coach what's the biggest benefit, or one benefit, of working with a mentor?
Speaker 1:Let me sit on this for a second. And there's so many so it's hard to choose just one, I know. But I would say for me it really has just been that mirror aspect of really like I've the amount of healing that I've done through building a business and I haven't just worked with business coaches, I've worked with healers as well, but I would even say just working with more. So recently I've been working with more business coaches and it's been so healing for me because I've been able to have wounds that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to see mirrored back at me.
Speaker 1:So, it's the mirror, because it's someone holding you accountable, walking you through the process, and someone that you actually have to like report to and be held accountable, and then you actually are able to actually see these like wounds come up, and that's the benefit for me. I find working one-on-one with a coach rather than like just being part of a community there's benefits to being part of a community as well, because we all be mirrors to each other, but there's something really powerful about working with a guide or a coach who actually guides you through the entire process yeah, it's super intimate.
Speaker 2:It's super intimate when you do one-on-one. Um, I didn't pre-plan this question, so what just came to me was I think one of the biggest benefits is growth happens exponentially more rapidly or or deeper, like we don't have to go faster, we can also go deeper because, like you, I'm saying coach and I wish that there was one term that just like labeled everyone, because I've same thing like energy healers. I'm connecting this to energy healers, spiritual guides that I've worked with, business coaches that I've worked with, just mentors that I've worked with. But every time I have chosen to invest in myself and have that really intimate connection, I'm either growing higher or I mean simultaneously. Right, we're growing deeper and higher at the same time.
Speaker 2:Whenever we work with someone and we choose to do that because it's really not again, like it doesn't even matter. It almost doesn't matter what we are. If we're choosing to work with a business coach, a spiritual guide, a mentor, we're choosing to work with a business coach, a spiritual guide, a mentor. We're choosing to invest in ourselves and no matter what you're doing, what we're investing in to make more money, to lose weight, to learn your human design, you're choosing yourself and so you're automatically going to grow faster, deeper, higher. I think that's. That's probably the biggest thing that I've gotten out of working with with my people. We'll just call them that.
Speaker 1:Totally. I love it. Well, let's do a shameless plug right now. Let's talk about what we have going on, so I'll mention my community and then you can mention your program and your community as well. So Hannah's actually a part of my community Body Wisdom Academy so you can actually I'll link it in the show notes so you can check that out. The Body Wisdom Academy, it's an incredible community, also in a somatic curriculum, it's the whole foundation and the fundamentals of building somatic awareness, learning how to actually work with your unique nervous system and healing your attachment wounds and your inner child, which is a lot of what we were just talking about. And then, when you work one-on-one with me, you also get a call with Hannah as well, whether you want to work on the life side of things or business side of things. I am a somatic business coach and, um yeah, so I'll link all that in the show notes and Hannah's got some incredible things happening right now as well, so I'll let you share.
Speaker 2:I do, and I could not speak more highly of you. So anyone listening, check out Alyssa's um all, all of it. I mean for all of the reasons that we talked about the nervous system. It's just so much powerful work there. Um, so me, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I have two containers, ultimately two and a half, I suppose. I have two one-on-one containers. So I have one option that we do mostly breath work and cycle work, and we dive really deep into both of those one-on-one. And then the other container, which is called Align, is doing mostly human design and cycle alignment work one-on-one. And then I also have a community called Sync. So that's where we're primarily diving really deep into cycle work and having that accountability throughout each other, because there is, like we've talked about, there's, so much benefit in doing the one-on-one work, so much benefit in hearing what other people have to say about what they're experiencing when, in whatever phase, they're going through. So, yeah, all of those will be linked also down below in the show notes if you want to check them out amazing, amazing, and obviously I think so highly of hannah.
Speaker 1:She's part of our team now and just so grateful to have her and your energy, and I just love this conversation so much so it's yeah, it's it's so nice to be able to have conversations like this with someone who you built a relationship with, but also we just we vibe and we're both so much into which I really like, we're both woo woo, but we also love the science side of things too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have to find the belt. Like you don't really find, and not that this is the right way, but you don't really find the balance. And I think that there's benefits in working with a coach that's the complete opposite of you, and I think there's benefits in working with a coach that is very similar to you and I've done the other. So when I chose to work with you, I'm like I want to work with you because I do like I'm constantly bringing into both of them and I love that about you Like we can be talking about like the complete, like woo-woo-est things in the world. And then we're like also, here are the here's, the scientific facts around this aspect, and we're like, yeah, we're just bopping back and forth and I love it.
Speaker 1:Awesome, hannah. Well, this is great and, yeah, this will be. We'll definitely be doing a series. Um, we'll be doing many episodes together, I'm sure, in the future, so I look forward to it yeah, I feel like we could talk for hours.
Speaker 2:So the second of many talk soon.