Are Negative Thoughts Holding You Back? The Truth Behind Positive Affirmations & How They Work.

Every thought we tell ourselves is like a seed planted in the garden of our mind, but what happens when those seeds start sprouting weeds of negativity? Join Amy and Niki as they venture into the heart of our inner dialogue and reveal how we can turn self-criticism into empowering affirmations. Our heartfelt conversation is peppered with personal experiences, showcasing the profound effect that nurturing words can have on our children and ourselves. We dissect the complicated dance of overthinking and confirmation bias, unraveling how these mental habits can keep us tethered to harmful beliefs and prevent us from embracing growth.

As we  dig in deep to our thought patterns, we shed light on gratitude's powerful role in paving the way to positivity. Listen in as we share actionable strategies for breaking free from the maze of negative thought patterns, like writing ourselves positive affirmations that resonate with truth and kindness. We delve into the transformative practice of gratitude, not just as a feeling but as a daily discipline, and discuss how creating visual cues and incorporating habit stacking can make self-encouragement second nature. With these tools, we invite you to craft your own narrative with a voice that speaks life into every corner of your being.

Article about frequencies in our body:
https://www.technologyreview.com/2008/09/09/33557/vibrating-cells-disclose-their-ailments/

Book Recommendation: “Life Force” by Tony Robbins

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Transcript

Speaker 3: 0:05

Welcome to the Lovely Dots podcast, where we believe that our words matter giving you proof that you can change the world one word at a time, and you get to be 100% real. So let's have fun.

Speaker 2: 0:32

Welcome back to the Lovely Dots podcast. I'm Amy and I'm Nikki, and today we're talking about our thoughts and how to change our thinking from negative thought patterns to more positive ones, speaking positive words over ourselves and really trying to put that into our daily life so that we can build up that positivity and outweigh the negativity that sometimes we like to talk to ourselves.

Speaker 3: 0:49

Yeah, because, let's be real, that's really, that's really like something everybody goes through. Am I really saying nice things to myself all the time? Probably not. And then all of us have heard the advice of like oh, we just need to tell ourselves over and over and over again you are confident, you are beautiful, you are the most amazing. Beyonce Sasha. Fierce, whatever it is.

Speaker 3: 1:14

But then you know, like I don't know if you're like us, but most people are kind of like, does that even work? Do positive affirmations even work? So we're just here to dig into that a little bit today.

Speaker 2: 1:26

Did you ever see that movie, uh, or read the book the help? No, the movie the movie. I did see the movie you remember the the maid.

Speaker 2: 1:33

Like the main character maid that worked for this family, there was a little girl. She was probably three or four and she just didn't get the attention or love from her mom. But this maid just loved on this little girl and her phrase that she would say over this little girl, into this little girl was you is kind, you is smart, you is important every day and I can't imagine having someone that loved you so much and speaking that over you, how that would maybe change her life or her thoughts about herself as she grew into an adult woman yeah, I know it makes me feel like so I've been trying to do this with boys at night, when you know, I say good night to them, I tell them they're courageous and they're brave and jesus loves them and you know, but it's.

Speaker 3: 2:19

I mean, I have a five-year-old and a three-year-old and Rocco already tells me. I know mom. I'm just trying to brainwash you.

Speaker 2: 2:28

Positive affirmation know that I love you. I know I'll say to Olivia I'll be like hey, olivia, guess what? And she goes I know you love me, mom. I'm like, yeah, I do, I do. And so she already knows that that's coming, but like I think, yeah, speaking specific things over them is really kind of a cool thing, even though maybe they already know it.

Speaker 2: 2:46

But it's like that repetition which we'll get to here, I think, in a little bit. So what I was kind of thinking about this week as we were preparing for this was, I think that negative thoughts are usually instigated by overthinking. Would you agree with?

Speaker 3: 3:04

that I would, and then I would take it a step further and I would say, overthinking about yourself, like you can't get out of your own brain about your own business.

Speaker 2: 3:16

And, like, if you think about it, we are on the path of trying to encourage people about their words. And our words really come from our hearts and our minds and things that we're thinking about, and then we either speak them to ourselves or we speak them out loud about ourselves or to other people, and so I think it's a good place to start by focusing on our thoughts and not overthinking. Start by focusing on our thoughts and not overthinking, because, if you think about it, we usually tend to overthink about negative things or not so positive things. Right, like, when you're having a moment of overthinking, are you like man, I'm just so proud of myself, I'm just amazing, like, and then you just continue like diving into that, or yeah, that would look really different. Yeah, yeah, I don't think it's usually like that. No, not really. Just continue like diving into that, or, yeah, that would.

Speaker 3: 4:04

That would look really different. Yeah yeah, I don't think it's usually like that. No, not really. It's like I done, screwed up, yeah.

Speaker 2: 4:11

And then you beat yourself up and you can't stop thinking about it and then you it just like promotes you saying negative things about yourself. So I mean it's interesting, if we're thinking about our thoughts here, that negative thoughts we tend to easily think negative thoughts. It's almost harder to like create positive thoughts about ourselves.

Speaker 3: 4:36

Yeah, I'd heard somewhere that it was like you need for every five negatives you have no sorry for every one positive you have. You have to have five more in order to like.

Speaker 2: 4:51

Five get over any of the, the negatives yeah, I heard that too. That like, even just to get you to balance, like if you have one negative thought thought excuse me, it takes at least that many pause four or five positive thoughts to get you back to a balanced place, not even yes, not even like elevated or flipping the switch here.

Speaker 3: 5:13

Yeah, not interesting and sad, and sad. Yeah, but I think it's because we're just programs, like, as you know, animals, essentially that, like you know, we have to pay attention to the negative things to survive. So I think it's just the way that our brains are wired. It just works against us when we're in this like modern era and we don't have to worry about tigers trying to eat our faces.

Speaker 2: 5:36

That's a good way to put it.

Speaker 3: 5:37

I mean, yeah, that's what I was thinking about that's true.

Speaker 2: 5:40

Okay, so I heard about the thing called confirmation bias. Have you ever heard that?

Speaker 3: 5:46

I have yes.

Speaker 2: 5:47

So what I understand about it is, essentially, we tend to look for information or we tend to think things that already agree with what we believe, either about the things that surround us or about ourselves. So, if that's true, we are not allowing ourselves the opportunity to grow and change by continuing this path of similar thinking or words that we speak over ourselves.

Speaker 3: 6:25

Right, yeah, that reminds me of this example.

Speaker 3: 6:31

So somebody once was talking about how you know if you've got this cloudy perspective on life, kind of what you're talking about, like you're always thinking things like I'm not enough, I'm too fat, I'm not smart enough whatever it is like these thoughts that are kind of plaguing you, and then you look for reasons why those are true, or you think those to be true, like, oh, I screwed up on this test or whatever it is you you know, which doesn't necessarily correlate.

Speaker 3: 7:06

Obviously we know that, right, you're not smart, not not smart if you don't do great on a test, right, right, yeah, right. But there's basically saying that, like, you have this cloudy perspective and it's essentially like looking at this, a tiny, tiny piece of a giant, beautiful art masterpiece. So, like, what's cool is that this art masterpiece isn't this cloudy day perspective. It's actually a gorgeous sunset, but you're only seeing the tiny, tiny piece of it, right? So, like, opening your perspective to the bigger picture of what's going on in your life, who you are, what your purpose is, what you're called to be, all those things help you get out of this cloudy perspective and stop having this confirmation bias of, like, well, all these things are only proving this one thing, Because then you can start saying things like, yeah, well, actually, this is what God says about me and this is who I am. Oh, look, it's sunny and beautiful about me and this is who I am.

Speaker 3: 8:04

Oh look, it's sunny and beautiful.

Speaker 2: 8:06

You like see the flip side of it. Yeah. Well, that's what I was thinking about, Like if I were to, on a daily basis, to say I'm not, I'm not smart, I'm surrounded by smart, intelligent people, or whatever.

Speaker 2: 8:18

If I say that about myself all the time, I'm going to begin to believe it whether it's true or not and we've talked about that a lot about if our thoughts are true or if they're lies and being able to gauge our thoughts based on that. But I think we're we're more apt to look for the situations where we don't feel smart perhaps you know right and not ever look at the situations where it's like I actually have some knowledge about this topic and that I am intelligent and I think that we try to, like, like you were saying, encompass or make our whole being being around, something like that.

Speaker 2: 8:59

The cloudy day perspective rather than the bigger picture.

Speaker 3: 9:02

Yeah, yeah, oh. Have you heard of the high five method? No, okay. So Mel Robbins, total shout out to her. I love her Amazing. Yeah, um, so she has this method and I hope I don't butcher it, but essentially she says that in the morning as your positive affirmation to get you in a right state of mind, you should high-five yourself in the mirror like physically literally like physically, do it, like, yeah, what's up?

Speaker 3: 9:32

girl you know, like right there in the mirror, because your brain is already wired to think, okay. High five means you got this, I believe in you, you're smart, like, I support you, all these wonderful things. So you're already like, okay, that's what a high five means. When. I give you a high five. You're like, yes, okay, good, yeah, good, so. But you're reframing your mind by marrying the image of yourself with these thoughts.

Speaker 2: 9:59

You're already utilizing something you know that's positive. To then take a look at yourself and like pump yourself up.

Speaker 3: 10:07

Yeah, yeah, that's really cool so she has a challenge. It's like do it for five days and then see what difference it makes.

Speaker 2: 10:13

I think the interesting thing about that is like we feel ridiculous doing stuff like that. But ultimately, in order to like make change in regards to our thoughts and negative thoughts, we have to do drastic things. I think to be able to move forward yeah, get out of ourselves.

Speaker 3: 10:31

Yeah, because obviously what we're doing isn't helping or working if we're stuck in this rut which to some extent, I think most of us are, whether it's like a little bitty like confidence issue or like a big problem of just not seeing our value and our worth and in a lot of ways.

Speaker 2: 10:47

But so I came up with this example. Our ways of thinking are kind of like a dirt road, okay. So imagine you. You start with a smooth, dirt road, okay, but every day you're driving down this dirt road you know where I'm going with with this. What's going to start happening as I drive down this same dirt road every single day Ruts, you're going to get ruts, okay, and it's easier to drive in the ruts right than it is to try to go outside, over around the ruts, yeah, okay, and the deeper they get, the harder it is to get out of them.

Speaker 2: 11:23

Kind of like our neural pathways. They get, the harder it is to get out of them. Kind of like our neural pathways. Like, if we're in this rut of thinking negative things about ourselves, it is hard to change. But imagine a good rain shower comes, okay, and it washes these ruts maybe not totally away, but it smooths them out a little bit and it allows you rework the mud, yeah, to then create new ruts, new paths, new neural pathways. That your brain is going to start thinking and that's the same thing of like something has to happen yeah, a rain shower has to happen in order to change that yes and to go in a new direction.

Speaker 3: 12:04

That is awesome. Yeah, that's so true. Like you have to do something different, I almost feel like the crazier the better sometimes.

Speaker 2: 12:12

Yeah, something else I heard is like overthinking or like ruminating on things. It leads to inaction. The best way to stop overthinking is by just taking action, some kind of action, just like you're saying, high-fiving yourself in the mirror every day and saying you've got this girl, even if you don't believe it at first, like something about that helps rewire our brains, right? Yeah?

Speaker 3: 12:45

yeah, because it knocks you out of the use yeah yeah, you should use.

Speaker 2: 12:49

Get out of the use okay so with talking about this overthinking and the negative thought patterns. I think it's important to take it back to like gauging your thoughts on is it helpful, is it true, is it kind? Because when we can like stop ourselves, kind of like we were saying before, if we can stop ourselves in the way that we're thinking, it's going to help us get into that habit of recognizing when we're having those negative thoughts. Um, and then like flipping the script to something more positive and having something to gauge it on.

Speaker 3: 13:29

Yeah, so something that like stops it and makes you rethink where you're at and what you're saying, yeah. Yeah, because you definitely need to have something abrupt, but then I really think it needs to come back to to have something abrupt, but then I really think it needs to come back to. Okay, what is true? And I think you had talked about this in one of our last episodes about what is true, what is helpful and what is kind. So how do you go through that process with what you think?

Speaker 2: 13:59

I think what's important is like for me, remembering that, ultimately, what I'm saying about myself, is it reminding me that I am worthy and that I'm loved just the way that I am. Like. I think that's the place that I have to go back to because I can. I can tend to be like you know what this could be true about me, you know. But then, like, if it maybe it is true, that doesn't mean it's kind or helpful, and so I think that you can't just have one of those things. I think you have to have all three to kind of gauge. Or at least for me, I feel like, because then it's like okay, maybe what I'm thinking about myself has some truth to it, but is that helpful in perpetuating me forward?

Speaker 3: 14:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 14:52

In my growth, you know.

Speaker 3: 14:53

Because that's the kicker, that that really is the missing piece with positive affirmation is having the truth, because you can, there's something you're like yeah, I'm on point with this Like bring it back to that and somehow simplify your affirmation so that it's focused on yeah, that is a little truth. I am confident because of this one thing, until that can start to spill over to other pieces.

Speaker 2: 15:36

Yeah, so there's this quote by author and speaker. His name's John Acuff, I think that's how you say his last name. Don't come at me, john, but he says that you are better at picking out great thoughts to listen to than your feelings are, and I think that we so often let our feelings guide a lot of things that we do in life, and it starts with how we think about ourselves. If we're being led by how we're feeling on any given day, do you think that that's helpful?

Speaker 3: 16:10

No, no, definitely not, Because your feelings change.

Speaker 3: 16:16

Think about how much you fluctuate in your feelings on a day-to-day basis like I mean you can just have a simple, you know, not an awesome morning and that can change your whole feelings on a topic that later in the afternoon you're like, oh, that sounds like a great idea.

Speaker 3: 16:32

So I mean, feelings are fickle, like you. You need to base your affirmations and your thought processes around what you know is true. That may sound like a foreign concept, and I think it does to a lot of people, but in actuality, I don't think you ever push forward to finding peace and finding the ability to focus on your purpose in life, finding really the ability to focus on your purpose in life If you can't get to that point where your, your thoughts are focused around, okay, what is true, I mean. And who doesn't want to live in truth too? Like, I think the the reality of understanding that a lot of what we think, that's based on our feelings, is not true. It's a shocker. And if you come to that realization that you've been living that way, to me that's like, well, what have I been doing?

Speaker 2: 17:25

like this is ridiculous right well, and it's kind of hard sometimes to get to that place, and we were talking about this, about how there's this one thing that maybe can help take a little bit of a step towards changing those thought patterns, but it was gratitude. How do? You think that gratitude can help in situations like this?

Speaker 3: 17:48

Oh, gratitude is huge. So I'd heard that you can't. You cannot have the same thoughts, process feelings around gratitude and fear at the same time. Your body, you cannot hold the two at the same time. So if you're operating out of fear or you've got these thought processes that are more fear-based, really gratitude is like your go-to, and it's so cool the science around this to me, and it's so cool the science around this to me like I'm just like super nerding out over it because it's like interesting to me that your cells in your body have a certain frequency to them Like.

Speaker 3: 18:28

our whole body is electromagnetic, you know our heart is, and that's a huge piece of like what makes us alive.

Speaker 2: 18:35

Yeah, I'm like, that's how God created us. Yes, interesting. Okay, yes, tell, okay, yes, tell me more.

Speaker 3: 18:39

Like they say and I hope I'm getting this number right Um, that like, if you're at good health ultimate health you're vibrating somewhere around 60 megahertz, I think it is, and we can hook up some things in the show notes that have more specific links to this. But, um, your thoughts carry certain frequencies as well as in. You can affect the frequency in your body by thinking negative or positive, and the cool thing is that gratitude actually has one of the highest frequencies which raises your, your body's itself, to this higher frequency of better health, mm-hmm, so you're more apt to not get sick as much like all kinds of crazy cool things, just by changing your thought processes to higher frequency thoughts.

Speaker 3: 19:27

And that goes right along with positive affirmations, because I mean, that's how you combine the two you really get your body going in with your mind, like we talked about with the high five earlier.

Speaker 2: 19:39

I mean just getting that whole system working together can do extremely incredible things for your health, for for the way that you think, for the way that you can just like come to life you know, so that's really fascinating and I think there's research too that shows like, along with that like anxiety and depression, when we're living in those states and not like trying to get ourself help to get out of that, whether it be through counseling or medication or you know different strategies your body is more likely to get sick, like you said, or be like you can develop autoimmune diseases and different sicknesses because of essentially like yeah, you're mentally immunocompromised, but it also physically immunocompromises you. Yeah, it's kind of fascinating.

Speaker 3: 20:29

It is so, and we'll have to dig more into this into another episode, but the connection to the mind and body is just. It's just so crazy to me that in our society we've always placed those are two separate things very separate.

Speaker 3: 20:43

There's mental health and there's physical health. But and the more that you like see what's coming out with with new findings and everything in the last 10 years, the more it's just so apparent that they're completely 100 combined. You cannot separate the two and I'm just real excited to see how all of that is going to come together in like new health and and strategies in like the next few years.

Speaker 2: 21:09

But but anyway, anyways, we could obviously go on long story short.

Speaker 3: 21:15

Gratitude is definitely, like you know, a huge path to getting feeling better, to getting on a path where you're actually like, okay, I believe that things can be better. I believe that I am worthy. I am better than what I've been saying about myself in my head and and out loud. That's something too, like I know that you have talked about this, like you really need to be saying out loud yeah, and we'll talk, like when we get to our action steps.

Speaker 2: 21:44

We're gonna talk a little bit more about what that looks like. I wanted to touch just like with gratitude. I think you were kind of saying it's important to even just little things, like if, for example, like you're, like I, I'm awful, like getting up and going to the gym and working out and moving my body like, or saying things like that about yourself in a negative way, instead of saying like, thank god, like I have legs that I can walk, I can move, and like changing that gratitude and like because it's scary to start at the gym, maybe if you haven't been in a while or, you know, done different things with that it's scary. But if you can just say, thanks God that I have legs, that I can walk, and then taking that step in gratitude to just move your body, you know what I mean. Something like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 22:36

I think that we just have to be willing to move, notice when we're thinking like that and first try to have a thought of gratitude yeah, make that your first go-to and you really do have to interrupt yourself when you're in a habit and that's.

Speaker 3: 22:53

I think that's the key is like, because so much of us go like unconscious? In our thinking like. So. Many of our thoughts are just unconscious because they're habitual thoughts for your thoughts.

Speaker 2: 23:04

Thoughts for yourself I'm that guy um, but yeah, we don't think about what we're thinking about exactly that's where it starts, just being aware, yeah and then like too, I guess, like being a mom, how can we like help our kids, like have gratitude when it's like, yeah, my brother got this and I didn't get this, or you know that kind of thing, like helping them be see? It's almost like see the sunny side, or see the the good side of things, but yeah, I think it's.

Speaker 3: 23:36

I don't know. It may start with the small things. Obviously, like you know, when you're you're the one showing them how to act, and and like something happens to you that you're not excited about and you are the one to say, okay, well, you know what.

Speaker 3: 23:50

I'm so glad, blah, blah, blah, like kind of setting the example is what I'm saying yeah, but and then, like in bigger things, I think it comes down to like you know you how you frame it. So something I really liked lately was someone was talking about rejection and she was saying that she views rejection as God's protection, and I love that and I think showing that to our kids like that's a positive.

Speaker 2: 24:22

It's a form of gratitude, yeah, like, thank you God that, like this, didn't work out the way that I hoped it do. It did because obviously you have a bigger, better plan, right, and you're protecting me from something, right. Yeah, flipping the script, mm-hmm. Yeah, I love that. I do too. That's cool. So we've been talking about how it's great to have some action steps, but now we're at the point where it's like okay, what are those action steps that we want people and we want ourselves to try to input into our lives?

Speaker 3: 24:53

Yes, so first you really have to delve in what is it that you're struggling with. Being aware is kind of the first step, and I do think that that takes some work sometimes. Sometimes I don't think it's an immediate, apparent situation, right? So, um, you know, we would pray, pray through that. That would be one step. Um, maybe ask some people that are around you too yeah like I know, my husband for sure would tell you a few of the statements that I make that are not aligned with what he believes.

Speaker 3: 25:25

I am worthy of or worthy to be.

Speaker 2: 25:29

So, yeah, I think that's a great thing is like, if you're struggling to think about, ok, what is it that I'm struggling with? Ask somebody that you trust, that you know will speak truth, and you're even say, like you know, I see you struggling with this, but I believe this about you, like, in asking for that wisdom and advice, I think that can help you, yeah, kind of move forward in that. So with that, what we would encourage you to do is identify what is it that you're struggling with and then create a phrase or two that is either full of gratitude or that speaks positivity over yourself when you encounter those things that you're thinking, and create those phrases, write them down on a note card, put them on a sticky note, hang them in multiple places so that you are seeing it every day and it's almost just like practicing speaking those things over yourself like getting out of that rut that we talked about earlier.

Speaker 2: 26:30

This is your rain shower. Your rain shower is having those words to speak over yourself.

Speaker 3: 26:36

Right, and I'd kind of like piggyback off of that and make it a habit, stack so like if you brush your teeth every day, which I really hope you do.

Speaker 2: 26:46

Dental hygienist over here hopes you do.

Speaker 3: 26:50

Then put the sticky note where you get your toothbrush you know, habit stack. So you it actually gets piled in with the things that you already do.

Speaker 2: 26:58

That's a great piece of advice. Love habits. I didn't even know that that was a thing, but like that makes so much sense Something that you're already in the habit and the grind of doing, then you're going to see it every day.

Speaker 3: 27:11

Yep.

Speaker 2: 27:11

That's great. The other thing too. Tell me if you think this is odd, but speaking these things out loud over yourself Like the high five.

Speaker 3: 27:22

Yes.

Speaker 2: 27:23

You know, know, like that might feel a little bit uncomfortable, right. But yes do you think there's benefit in that it?

Speaker 3: 27:29

is there is well there, yes, 100% benefit because hearing your own voice like you, scientifically, you believe your own voice more than you do any other voice, because it is the voice that you hear the most, whether it's in your brain or you're talking. So saying it out loud is massively huge in this whole transformation process. And yeah, I think it does feel really weird. But you know, if you're doing the high-five challenge, you know, just have it stacked, put that in there, say it in the mirror to yourself. You know it's not going to feel weird after a little while not at all.

Speaker 2: 28:06

Maybe you find, if it's like, okay, well, my husband or my significant other doesn't think I'm a weirdo, they hear me saying this in the bathroom have it on the steering wheel in your car or something.

Speaker 2: 28:16

And when you get in the car, before you put it in reverse, you look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and, like, say it to yourself yeah, you need just a space that's you look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and like say it to yourself yeah, you need just a space that's more quiet and, until you feel, comfortable doing it.

Speaker 3: 28:28

You know being the weirdo. Yeah, be the weirdo be the weirdo, we love it, we're making shirts, it's we are and hopefully, for people to purchase or just us to wear, because, who knows?

Speaker 2: 28:39

obviously so. The other thing that maybe, if you're having a hard time coming up with something to positively say about yourself or encourage yourself with A great place to go, is God's word. To see what he has to say about you, and I know that you and I have talked numerous times before about some things that are encouraging to us when we're trying to view ourselves maybe in the way that he views us, and part of that is, I think we are so uniquely created and God created us out of love, and to think about, like us, negatively talking about ourselves, I would imagine that breaks God's heart, because he loves us so much, right, mm-hmm yeah, and like if we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Speaker 3: 29:33

What, what a diss to be like God. You didn't do it right you know, and I don't think we think about it that way often or at all mm-hmm but you know, and that's just being all encompassed in our own sphere and not being able to get past that, but in a more like eternal perspective, like that is, that is by far probably just it, just yeah. It probably breaks his heart to think I would think, yeah, to see someone be like you were not made properly so you have quoted that verse numerous times.

Speaker 2: 30:07

Do you like? What's the verse? Do you remember where it's found? You're like? Uh no, it's in psalms, I think yeah, it is psalm like I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.

Speaker 2: 30:20

It's that simple you could write that you could write that on a note, in a sticky note, and knowing that your God believes that to be true about you should be game changing. I feel like and speaking that over yourself For me, the verse my grace is sufficient. For you, my power is made perfect in weakness. It's just a reminder that, like even when I feel like I can't live up to these expectations that I hold for myself, god's power is almost even more like powerful.

Speaker 3: 30:58

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 30:59

And like he can use you in that weakness.

Speaker 3: 31:03

Yeah, and I think that's something I've actually been taught or that God has been teaching me in this last season in my life is that like that, leaning on him and knowing that you're not perfect and that is okay, that is how it's supposed to be, and that you're not supposed to always like come up with these ways to to make your, your weaknesses perfect?

Speaker 3: 31:29

Of course you know we want to get better but, like the idea that you have to always have all the answers or always be good enough for X, y, z is just exhausting. It's exhausting to live that way and I think a lot of people do I know I certainly have and just being able to be like well, if this is going to be good guys, you're going to have to do it, because it sure isn't going to be me because I'm going to say weird things like tiger eat your face off so well, and I think, like sometimes we try to, we avoid our weaknesses or areas where we're.

Speaker 2: 32:01

We know that we're not maybe as successful as we'd like to be, but ultimately, like you were saying, that cloudy day picture like it's not just a cloudy day, we are like a brilliant, bright day and we can't always see that bigger picture, but that's what God sees in us, like he sees all of it, you know yes and so, yeah, I think the important thing to think about here, too, is that some people that are maybe watching or listening may not struggle with this too much, or maybe to the extent of some other people.

Speaker 2: 32:33

So that kind of brings us to this idea of lovely dots and how we want to help people. So if you're someone that has a loved one that is struggling, what is our hope?

Speaker 3: 32:45

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 32:47

So our hope is essentially that we can use all that we've learned with science, psychology, awesome design and just our desire to help people and combine all this in a package that we can actually create something where people can take it and help people with it.

Speaker 3: 33:05

So if you have somebody that's struggling and not understanding their worthiness, not feeling valued or seen or loved and just really having a disconnect between who they actually are and who they think they are, our goal is to be to help, and one way to do that is this awesome gift that we're building through Lovely Dots, which is a group video gift set, and part of that is going to be all of these loved ones, lovely Dots, coming together to speak truth and life into this person and a group video gift, and then the other half is a physical gift with their name and all the things that people believe about them as this physical reminder, as almost like a positive affirmation for them, the positive affirmations for them to see on a daily basis to drive that point home, to never let that go silent, so that this is a message that will just not die.

Speaker 3: 34:03

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 34:04

So and I think the beautiful thing about this is it's I think we're trained that, like, we give gifts for certain reasons, Like holidays or birthdays or that kind of thing. But like there are so many people struggling with who they are or what they think about themselves, with who they are or what they think about themselves, that that should not wait for a birthday or a holiday to tell that person how important that they are, you know yeah, and it's almost better to not to not wait yes, because and I don't know if more people will agree with me on this but I feel like when there is a gift giving time, like a Christmas or birthday, mother's Day, whatever it is it feels natural to say I have to give a gift.

Speaker 3: 34:53

And then that receiver is like they felt like they had to give a gift, even if it was really awesome. But when we give people gifts of truth and connection on days that are not associated with that it's, it's so much more. It's like no, this is something that's important in life, this is something that is going to be life-changing, life-giving, and that is something that we just do on a normal Tuesday. This is a normal Tuesday thing. That's the kind of people we are, yeah, and that's kind of people we are. And that's kind of people lovely dots, people are. Normal Tuesday. Spread truth, love, make people feel valued and seen. That's what it is.

Speaker 2: 35:32

We're obviously passionate about it, so we hope that maybe that provides a way for you to share with your loved ones and just encourage them and spread more love to people that need it, because there's so many people struggling. We could throw the quotes and the the research at you, but I think we all know somebody that needs to know how loved they are, and so, ultimately, that's why we're doing what we're doing yes, please join the wait list.

Speaker 3: 36:02

If you haven't seen the website, gone to the website, check out all that we're doing and all that's ahead and all that we'll be launching shortly, and join the wait list and join this journey with us and come and be a part of our community. We have stuff going on on Instagram and, obviously, the podcast. You must be one of the cool people.

Speaker 2: 36:21

Yeah, you're already listening, share with other people so that would be our hope. Like, share, follow, subscribe, all the things, um, and even you know we love to hear from you, so if you want to interact or comment, um and share with us maybe what journey you're on right now and, um, maybe how some of our words have helped you or how you can help other people.

Speaker 3: 36:44

Yeah, and let us know if you are doing the high five challenge. Yes, I want to know after five days. Five days does this make a huge difference for you? Yeah, lovely dots. Research right here.

Speaker 2: 36:54

Yeah, let us know That'd be awesome. All right, we'll see you guys next time. Bye, thank you.